SNL's 'Perfect Mother' skit is perfectly, painfully spot on
"I know this is supposed to be funny but honestly this is deep."
Emma Thompson plays Heidi Gardner's mom in "The Perfect Mother."
"Saturday Night Live" is known for its comedic exaggerations that poke fun at real life, but skit about motherhood from SNL Season 44 isn't really an exaggeration at all.
The skit, called "The Perfect Mother" stars actors Emma Thompson and Heidi Gardner as a mom-daughter pair talking about motherhood. Gardner plays a harried mom with young children, sporting a messy bun and a toy-strewn living room, while Thompson plays her mother, a calm, well-put-together older woman with matching jewelry and loads of sage wisdom.
Gardner asks Thompson how she raised her as "the perfect mother" without losing her mind, and what we see is the stark difference between what Thompson says it was like for her as a mom with young kids—"Every moment was a joy"— and flashbacks of what it was actually like when her kids were little—"Why won't you f**ing sleep?!?"
Most mothers will recognize the moments of frustration, angst and general hot-messness that come with mothering young children, and many will recognize the rose-colored glasses an/or denial people often utilize when looking back on the past.
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The skit hit home with people in the comments.
"I know this is supposed to be funny but honestly this is deep," wrote one person. "This is basically what every mom (and a lot of dads) has to go through and nobody even realizes."
"And there's people who see us struggling and shame us for seeming like Moms aren't trying hard enough to keep things in order.. pfft," shared another.
"Dude, the giraffe part nailed it. All of this has reassured me that my husband and I aren't failing as parents and that everyone is just bullshitting," offered another.
"This may be the most life accurate sketch SNL has done, and one of its funniest. So many memories from my childhood, and my parenthood mirror this," wrote another.
"This is literally the best most realistic thing I have ever seen about parenting! So flawless. I did not stop laughing the whole time," shared another.
Seeing the reality of motherhood reflected back on us is refreshing, especially when we do so often hear older moms talk about their child-rearing years as if it wasn't that difficult. "Momnesia" is a real phenomenon—as the years pass, we start to forget about all the sleep deprivation, the crying and whining, the constant messes, the inexplicable things you never imagined a kid would do and so on. Those hard parts of parenting fade in our memories over time, while the sweetness, the adorableness, the joy tends to get magnified.
Older moms can be helpful sources of practical advice and encouragement, but we have to be aware that they've probably forgotten how hard it really was and take what they say about their personal experiences with a grain of salt. On the other hand, perhaps it's good to know that we will eventually forget a lot of the frustrating parts while holding firmly to the fond memories of our children's childhoods.