
This article originally appeared on October 22, 2015
Listen up, ladies. Y'all just don't know how hard it is to be a working dad these days.
We're expected to do it all. Raise the little ones, pay the bills, look "sexy," be assertive in our career (but not too assertive), and somehow get it all done in time to have dinner on the table for the wife and kids.
Wait. That doesn't sound right.
GIF from "Family Matters."
Real talk: Being a parent of any gender is really hard, but it's the moms who get all the extra pressure and all the horrible advice that goes along with it.
Seriously, go Google "tips for working moms," start reading, and try not to break something. There's oodles of advice out there for everything, from how to stay organized, to how to make time for your avocado-filled beauty routine, to how to set proper boundaries at work.
Most of it is well-meaning and all, but you can't help but wonder, what would it look like if we tried to give this same kind of advice to working dads?
Hmm...
A hilarious parody Twitter account recently began skewering this kind of misguided advice for moms, and it's a must-follow.
The tweeter known as @manwhohasitall began tweeting in August and has shared over 3,200 delightful nuggets of wisdom since then. (Working dads sure do need a lot of help!)
In his or her own words, the author (who wanted to remain anonymous ... and in character, at that) told Upworthy, "I offer supportive lifestyle advice for the frazzled working dad juggling housework, kids, job, 'me time' and truly great skin."
It's got something for everyone, including cleverly disguised thoughts on the unbelievably low standards we set for dads who "help" with the kids...
Why we feel that women somehow need permission to have confidence...
Some fantastic advice on how to spend our precious "me time" (the author prefers to spend theirs "in a candlelit bubble bath with a full glass of water and maybe an almond")...
And plenty more. Just enjoy these for a moment:
"I'll be honest with you," the author told Upworthy. "It's tough being a working dad. There's so much pressure to look good, keep a perfect house, and stay hydrated."
Once you've recovered from rolling on the floor laughing, you don't have to look too hard to see the underlying point here.
Go check out the rest of these amazing "tips." And when you're done with that, be sure to reward yourself with some much needed "me time."
I'll be spending mine scrubbing the floor, exfoliating, and chanting self-affirmations.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."