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Nigeria made history by banning female genital mutilation, but there's still one thing in the way.

A celebration is in order, but don't get too comfy yet.

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Gates Foundation

It's huge news! Female genital mutilation has been banned in Nigeria.

The horrific practice of FGM is now officially forbidden in Africa's most populous country, thanks to outgoing President Goodluck Jonathan.

President Jonathan went out on a high note when he signed the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) act into law on May 25, 2015, which bans female genital mutilation in Nigeria and forbids men from leaving their families without providing financial support.

Yes and yes. Double victory.

Thank you for standing up for women and girls, Goodluck Jonathan! Photo by Remy Steinegger.

Nigeria is setting a precedent for other African countries — and the world — that FGM needs to stop.

More than 125 million girls and women alive today have been cut in the 29 African and Middle Eastern countries where FGM takes place.

125 MILLION! GIF via Sesame Street.

But if the most populous country in Africa is saying "no more," that's a clear sign to other countries to stop this violence against women and girls.

Will the law be enough to stop the practice?

The answer is essentially: no.

Outlawing a practice is often the first step toward making it culturally unacceptable (or acceptable, depending on what it is). Laws are super important, but the practice of FGM is so ingrained within many cultures that the attitudes around it need to change first.

It may be difficult for families to abandon the practice without support from the wider community. In fact, it is often practiced even when it is known to inflict harm upon girls because the perceived social benefits of the practice are deemed higher than its disadvantages (World Health Organization, 2008).

It'll be hard work, but community organizations and activists on the ground in Nigeria are ready to get started.




As people immigrate to the U.S. and U.K., FGM has become a problem in places you wouldn't necessarily expect.
Photo by Amnon Shavit.

One way to keep the momentum going and get FGM outlawed everywhere? Talk about it.

If just hearing about female genital mutilation makes you uncomfortable, that's exactly why it needs to be talked about. Imagine what the women and girls who have experienced it have gone through!

Consider educating yourself with this handy FAQ from the United Nations Population Fund and this amazing media campaign from The Guardian, or show your support to organizations that are actively working to end FGM around the world. There's also this video of two women with cupcakes that's extremely creative (and disturbing). Just trust me on that one.

This is a situation where changing attitudes can change the world. Be a part of it (if you want!).

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BigFuture
BigFuture Scholarships
Education

She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

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When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Identity

A woman with a disability gets real about dating and sex. She's funny and honest.

Her candor is delightful, her message is important, and her jokes are great

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

Most people are missing out on a huge portion of the dating pool.


"So just recently I went out on a Match.com date, and it was fantastic," begins Dr. Danielle Sheypuk in her TEDx Talk.

If you've ever been on Match.com, that opening line might make you do a double take. How does one get so lucky?

Before you get too jealous, you should know things quickly went downhill two dates later, as most Match.com dates ultimately do. This time, however, the reason may not be something that you've ever experienced.

Intrigued? I was too. Here's the story.

a photo of Dr. Sheypuk smiling.

Gorgeous!

Photo from Dr. Sheypuk's Instagram account, used with permission.

She's a licensed clinical psychologist, an advocate, and a model — among other things. She's also been confined to a wheelchair since childhood. And that last fact is what did her recent date in.

Over a romantic Italian dinner on their third date, Sheypuk noticed that he was sitting farther away from her than usual. And then, out of nowhere, he began to ask the following questions:

"I've been thinking, how are you gonna be a mother? How are you gonna do the duties that's gonna be required of you? And even as wife — how ... I'm not sure how this is gonna work."

Used to this line of inquiry, she had the perfect quippy reply: "Well that's simple: I'm just gonna hire someone like every other New Yorker."

But despite her witty answer, he'd already made up his mind. She never heard from him again.

"I tried to convince myself that this was like any other relationship, but deep down I knew the reality. Who wants to date someone in a wheelchair?"

Dr. Sheypuk knows that that single question is evidence of a really serious problem—not just on the dating scene, but in society in general.

Society has factored out an entire group of potential romantic partners: people with disabilities.

a glamorous photo of Dr. Sheypuk in her wheelchair.

Talk about a million-dollar smile.

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

In her words:

"We are completely left out of the dating picture. Society, media included, seems to ignore the fact that we have the same emotional needs and desires as everyone else. Is this injustice born out of the concept of the poster child and his or her duty to induce pity to raise money?

Or maybe it's a conclusion drawn from mainstream porn where we have actors performing, like, gymnastic stunts with the stamina that none of us have of bucking broncos and jackrabbits.”

Um, yes. So much yes. She continues:

"The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

"Now let's look at the continuum in our society where sexual is measured. On the one hand, we have humans that are the ultimate sex appeal object. So on that end, we have Victoria's Secret models, Playboy centerfolds, people like that.

On the complete opposite end, we have people with physical disabilities. And it seems like the more we deviate from this ultimate sex icon, the more desexualized we become, the more taboo the topic, and the more damaging the consequences.

Now, for most people there are quick fixes, right? We have Hair Club for Men, Botox, Spanx, butt implants. But for people with disabilities, there are no quick fixes. There is no magic pill."

And we are hit hard.”

It's important to note, too, that while someone may not be disabled now, it doesn't mean they will never experience or develop a disability. Due to injuries, illnesses, and chronic conditions, research shows that the chances of becoming disabled are startlingly on the rise.

Watch the rest of Dr. Sheypuk's talk to hear her important insights about what dating and relationships are like when a person has a disability—and how much of society is limiting itself.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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People are dying over this kid's emotional reaction to learning his sister is his half-sister

Pam's brother doesn’t quite grasp the concept of half-siblings.

via PamTina_/Twitter

Pam's little brother is so sweet.

Pam has a little brother, who recently learned that he is actually her half-brother.

Of course, half-siblings are still very much siblings, but Pam's brother doesn't quite grasp the concept yet and seems upset about having to part with 50% of his sister.

So, when she came home recently she found this letter he'd written. It will make you cry, so have off-brand tissues on hand:

a letter written by a child

Letter with love from her brother.

via PamTina_/Twitter

OMG.

As if this letter isn't enough to turn your heart into a soft pile of oatmeal, he also left her some of her (presumably) favorite snacks, like Chips Ahoy and Takis (excellent choices!).

Pam, being a human with a soul, was deeply moved and tweeted out a photo of her little brother's letter:

It quickly went viral. And now the whole internet is now welling up with tears.

Now others are sharing their own sibling stories:

These are so, so sweet.

Don't say we didn't warn you about the tissues.

Remember this next time you get into a fight with your sibling. Half or whole, doesn't matter. Love/hate is love/hate!


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Pop Culture

Tired of 'hacks?' Here are 20 of the best life tips sourced from 21.9 million real people.

All of them are simple and practical. A few might just change your life.

via Arjun Mahadevan/Twitter

Arjun Mahadevan's life pro tip Twitter thread

Arjun Mahadevan gave the world a gift when he crowdsourced the best “life pro tips” from nearly 22 million people. He shared the top 20 in a Twitter thread that’s got over 619,000 views. Mahadevan sourced the tips from the Life Pro Tips subforum on Reddit, which has been running since 2010.

Mahadevan is the CEO of doolaHQ which he calls the “business-in-a-box” for LLCs.

Mahadevan labeled his advice “20 life tips you wish you knew when you were 20,” but they are helpful for everyone regardless of age. They’re useful for anyone who is in a relationship, has a job, or wants to stay sane in an aggravating world.

Many ideas involve reframing how we judge others to see them with more compassion. Mahadevan also has some advice for professionals to prevent them from making embarrassing mistakes or wasting other people’s time.

Sometimes the simplest change in behavior or perspective can drastically affect our lives. Here are Arjun Mahadevan’s 20 life tips you wish you knew when you were 20:

1. "If you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see 'call failed' instead of 'call ended.'"

2. "When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. That way when you receive spam/advert emails, you will know who sold your info."

3. "Always tell a child who is wearing a helmet how cool you think their helmet is. It will encourage them to always wear it in the future."

4. "When you don't have all the facts, try to give people the most generous reason you can for their behavior. Annoyingly slow driver? Maybe it's a mom with a birthday cake in the back. This mindset will gradually make you less reactive and more compassionate."

5. "Do not try to be the man your father would want you to be. Be the man you would like your son to be. It more clearly defines your own convictions, desires, goals and motivates you to be your best."

6. "When a friend is upset, ask them one simple question before saying anything else: 'Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?'"

7. "After a bad breakup, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You'll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back."

8. "Before you give your child a unique name, try it out first. Use it on food orders, reservations, appointments where applicable, etc. It’ll give you a glimpse of what they’ll deal with when they’re older and could prevent future issues."

9. "If you need to cancel a hotel reservation but are unable to because of a 24-hour policy, call the company and move your reservation to a later date. Call back within a few days and cancel for no charge."

10. "If you tell someone you need to talk to them, for the love of God give some indication of what you need to talk about, or at least that it's not bad news."

11. "Never send a work email when you’re emotionally compromised. Type it up, save it as a draft, and walk away. Ideally, sleep on it. You’ll make a smarter choice when you're not heated."

12. "Don't just let kids win at games. You can slow it down, you can teach them strategy, but keep it real. Someday, they will beat you fair and square, and it will be a moment they always remember with pride."

13. "When cooking things on aluminum foil, first scrunch the foil up, then lay it loosely flat again out on your baking tray. The juices will stay put—and the food will not stick to the foil half as much, if at all."

14. "If you think of a good idea, write it down. Your brain will try to trick you into thinking you will remember it later, but it's a liar! Therefore: Write it down!"

15. "It takes 4 minutes a day and almost no cost to maintain dental hygiene. It takes a lifetime and a lot of money to correct it. 2-minute brush and mouthwash in the AM, 2-minute brush and floss in the PM."

16. "Don’t wait until you have 'time' to start a fitness program. Because then when you get busy again, you’ll stop. The best time to start is actually when you’re busy. Learning how to fit it in when times are tough means you’ll stick with it over the long haul."

17. "When using text messages or IMs for business, say everything you need to say in the first message. Don’t just say 'hi' or 'hey' or 'are you there' or 'are you busy.'"

18. "Instead of feeling that you've blown the day and thinking, 'I'll get back on track tomorrow, think of each day as a set of four quarters:

• Morning• Midday• Afternoon• Evening

If you blow one quarter, you get back on track for the next quarter."

19. "Many problems in marriage are really just problems with being a bad roommate. Learn how to be a good roommate, and it will solve many of the main issues that plague marriages. This includes communicating about something bothering you before you get too angry."

20. "Ask yourself 'what does it matter to me' the next time you find yourself judging someone for their clothing or hobbies. The more you train yourself to not care about the personal preferences of other people, the more relaxed and nicer you become as a person."

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Mom tells 9-year-old daughter to 'smile more' for school show and instantly regretted it

'Afterward, I regrettably said the one thing that no female *ever* wants to hear: "Try to smile more."'

Anniesgotabun Tiktok screenshots

Mom tells her daughter to smile more and instantly regrets it.

There is one request that unites all women and girls no matter their political affiliation or socioeconomic status, and that's telling them to smile when they're just minding their business. Think of it like a fairly universal "don't" when interacting with women, unless you're a photographer hired to take their photo.

A mom on TikTok found herself reaping the consequences of telling her 9-year-old daughter to smile when she was rehearsing a performance for her school. To say her daughter was not amused would be an understatement. The mom, whose TikTok name is @Anniesgotabun, shared a video before and after her daughter's performance.

The caption of the video read "mistakes were made" complete with the facepalm emoji and the hashtag #parentingfail. In the first part of the video you can clearly see her daughter going through the motions of the musical production looking unenthusiastic. The mom explains her error via text overlay, saying, "My daughter had her final rehearsal for the school musical yesterday."

The video cuts to the mom with text that read, "Afterward, I regrettably said the one thing that no female *ever* wants to hear. ‘Try to smile more.’’’

The result was interesting to say the least and it certainly made the mom rethink her well-meaning advice. During the actual show, the little girl made sure her point was made by staring directly in her mother's eyes the entire time … smiling.

You may be thinking, Well then the advice worked, didn't it? Er, yes and no. Yes, because she smiled, but no if mom's plan was to have her daughter maniacally smile like the Joker while staring deep into her soul the entire performance. Because that's exactly what happened and the Internet cannot unsee it. The parents of the other children onstage are probably wondering whose child that was.

Check out the funny video below and for the love of everything you cherish, please remember this mom's mistake should you ever get the urge to tell a woman or girl to smile.

@anniesgotabun

Mistakes were made 🤦🏼‍♀️ #parentingfail

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Joy

A group of vacationing young friends expose their buddy's secret: He's an 'airport dad'

Every friend group has at least one friend who winds up parenting the group.

Photo by yousef alfuhigi on Unsplash

Making travel a little easier is no joke.

If you've ever traveled or gone out to a party or bar with a group of friends, then you've probably experienced the phenomenon of the "friend-parent." Now, this is a term I totally just made up, but I bet you recognize it. Sometimes referred to as the "mom" or "dad" of the group, this friend is the one that takes on the responsibility of corralling any stragglers, tossing out drinks that have been left unattended, and generally making sure everyone stays safe.

A friend-parent was recently caught on video being an "airport dad" to his group of friends. Usually, you hear about women looking out for other women in a mother-hen sort of way, but this group of guys just proved the friend-parent knows no gender. In a TikTok video from Johannes2o that currently has 5.3 million likes and 25.7 thousands comments, a small group of guys are standing near each other with "POV: our friend is an airport dad" in text on the screen.

Before the crew heads into the airport, their friend collects everyone's passports and boarding passes before checking his watch. He checks flight information one last time and then tries to have them all check in but they're too early. The whole video is playing out to the tune of "Highway to the Danger Zone."

At one point, the airport dad stands with his hands on his hips seemingly inspecting the plane from the large windows at the gate. If that's not a dad move, I don't know what is. One of the best moments that exemplifies "dad mode" is when the friend-parent realizes that one of the guys overpacked and he helps the friend repack while appearing stressed.

The guys had one job and it seems airport dad couldn't trust them with that either. The overpacker will never live this down, and now weighing and measuring bags will likely become one of airport dad's self-imposed pre-airport duties.

Watch the unexpectedly cute video below:

@johannes2o

Hes gonna be a great dad💀 #airport #airportdad

And since their last video exploded, the guys soon shared a "Part 2" of their beloved "airport dad" becoming "roadtrip dad" when their car breaks down...twice. Check it out:


Since the last video blew up. Here is part 2 #airportdad #viral #foryoupage #roadtrip

@johannes2o

Since the last video blew up. Here is part 2 #airportdad #viral #foryoupage #roadtrip

Ah, the friend-parent. Where would we be without them?


This article originally appeared last year.

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