upworthy
Heroes

John Oliver Is Begging You To Lie To Your Friends About Where You Went On Vacation

I could totally get why someone would want to go to Antarctica. I didn't imagine it would be to perfect a penguin impression...

Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

via TheEllenShow / YouTube

Mark Wahlberg on "The Ellen Show."

Four years ago, actor Mark Wahlberg attended a daddy-daughter dance with his then 10-year-old, Grace. Sadly, Grace had no interest in seeing her father strutting his stuff on the dance floor. "I didn't get one dance," Wahlberg told Ellen DeGeneres. "And I told her we were going to do the whole big circle and I was going to go off. And she said, 'Dad, if you embarrass me, I will never talk to you again.' But what she did do is she hung out with me."

No matter who your dad is, especially if you're a 10-year-old-girl, you have zero desire to see him dance in front of your friends. But the parents at the dance probably would have had a blast seeing Wahlberg bust out some of his old-school '90s Marky Mark moves. However, Wahlberg couldn't help but leave his mark on the music being played at the dance.

Let's not forget, he didn't get famous for his acting but for showing off his abs in the "Good Vibrations" video.

Being that Wahlberg's time as a pop star was three decades ago, he couldn't believe it when he heard the music being played at the dance.

"[Grace] sat there on the edge of the stage, by the DJ. And then I'm sitting there with one other dad and I'm like, 'This is not an edited version of this song. There are explicit lyrics being played at a school dance for girls and I'm like no good,'" he said.

"I told the DJ and he's like, 'Oh, I thought it was.' I said, 'What are you doing?' I'm hearing F-bombs and this and that's not okay," Wahlberg said.

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."


This article originally appeared four years ago.

Unsplash

Body dysmorphia really knows no bounds. We tend to think of insecurities as focusing on things like the flatness of our stomachs or the size of our noses. But perhaps the thing that people are most self-conscious about is the thing we actually talk about the least.

According to one study, about 30% of men are "dissatisfied" with the size, shape, or appearance of their penis. That number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vaginas. A survey done by Refinery29 showed that almost half of women had "concerns" about the appearance of their vulva.

The numbers say anywhere from a third to a half or more of all people think there's something wrong with the way our private parts look. Which begs the question: If we all think we're weird, is anybody really weird at all?

A fascinating Reddit thread recently polled experts on this very topic; people who tend to see an awful lot of genitals in their line of work: Waxing technicians, or estheticians. The responses were oddly... inspiring.

The prompt asked, "Waxers, how often are you surprised by how a clients genitals look?"

Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. As did doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and lots of other pros who work closely with people's unmentionables.

Here are a few of the best responses:

Laura Woolf/Flickr



Gonna chime in as a doctor - and I would imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. WE. DONT. CARE. And in my case I would be surprised if you’d show me something I’ve never seen before. - feelgoodx

I use to be very self conscious and insecure about my genitals. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Just clean yourself before coming in. - Wild-Clementine

Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every single day I work, often multiple, and frequently about 3 feet from my face with a spotlight on it lol. Not much surprises me. Most are out of my memory by the time they're clothed or covered up. When it comes to genitals you want to be unremarkable. - tlotd

Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work. - Important-Tackle

never. i have seen it all. scars, hyperpigmentation, unevenness; none of it surprises me. just please wash yourself before coming to me. - pastelmorning

Nothing surprises me, I'm mostly just focusing on the hair, but i do have a client who has a tuft of hair on the underside of his shaft near the tip of his penis we call his downstairs soul patch. - noorisms

Two big takeaways:

First, outside of obvious mutilations or pathologies, nothing stands out to people who are extremely knowledgable about genitals. Differences in size, shape, and structure are totally normal and barely even register on the radar!

Second, no matter what you look like down there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends far beyond the borders of the esthetician's office!

Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can be.

gourd and white tape measure on blue surface Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

It's bizarre and tragic that unrealistic beauty standards actually effect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing anxiety about the way their genitals look.

Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively impacted by bad self-image and anxiety over the way they look naked. When the shame is really bad, it can hold them back in relationships, or even stop them from seeking them in the first place.

Fear of being judged or humiliated can stop women in particular from, not just going in for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist or asking potentially-embarrassing but critical and life-saving health questions.

If you've ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from the people who have seen hundreds if not thousands of genitals up close and personal, in the most unflattering lighting and from the worst angles possible: You're totally normal!

@abcnews/TikTok

Cats are stars, onstage and off.

Oh, what it must be like to be a cat. To never suffer from imposter syndrome, to take on foes at least twice your size without hesitation, to navigate the world like you’re on every VIP list in existence. What a glorious life, indeed. Take this concert-crashing kitty, for example. During a live orchestra performance at the 52nd annual Istanbul Music Festival, a curious feline wandered up on stage without a care in the world—and of course it was all anybody could talk about.

In a clip shared to multiple social media platforms by several news outlets, including @abcnews on TikTok, we see the gray and white cat traipse onto the stage, as if drawn in by the whimsical tune being played.

Then, it literally catwalks across the stage, unbothered from beginning to end.

Watch:

@abcnews A curious cat wandered onto stage during a live orchestra performance at the 52nd Istanbul Music Festival. #turkey🇹🇷 #orchestra #catsoftiktok ♬ original sound - ABC News

Of course, as many viewers pointed out, this is an all-too-common sight in Istanbul, which, like many Muslim countries, holds a special place in its heart for felines. According to Catster, cats don’t have owners. Instead, they are taken care of by the entire community all around the city—from tea houses to ferries to public transport and beyond.

Istanbul even funds veterinary care for its stray cats, including spaying and neutering, emergency care, and a mobile Vetbus. It’s pretty much Kitty Heaven over there.

Besides commending Istanbul for its feline-friendly atmosphere, people also shared their delight for the cat who “stole the show.”

“He KNEW this was about him. HIS moment! Lol,” one person wrote.

Another added, “that’s his background music, and he’s off on a big adventure.”

Another tapped into the cat’s POV, writing, “how lovely, the humans are playing me a song.”

Some even offered their best cats puns.

“I think it was trying to find the ‘purr-cussion’ section,”one person quipped.

Another said, “That is an ARISTOCAT.”

Istanbul might go above and beyond for its cats, but the respect we have for feline audacity is strong just about everywhere in the world.


This article originally appeared in June.

Pop Culture

Wife worried her husband chose 'new friendship' over 'meaningful' Thanksgiving tradition

She admitted to being "caught off guard" when asked to reschedule a tradition six years in the making.

This is certainly not a black-and-white situation.

It can be really disheartening when our partner seems to not feel the same way about something we find sacred, especially when it comes to shared holiday traditions. After all, these moments only come around once a year, and do sort of lose their magic once broken.

This was the dilemma a woman recently found herself in when her husband asked to reschedule a cherished holiday tradition in order to go on a trip with a new friend. For the past six years, always the weekend before Thanksgiving, the couple would drive an hour away to a lakeside town to spend the day together, which would always end with picking out a new ornament for their Christmas tree.

holiday traditionsPhoto credit: Canva

As she explained in a Reddit post, this “very small but meaningful tradition” had become an incredibly special way to usher in the season. So when her husband nonchalantly brought up rescheduling it in favor of his friend trip, she was “caught off guard.”

At the same time, the situation wasn’t so black-and-white. The wife also shared that her husband “doesn’t make new friends easily,” and this was the first time in a long while that someone reached out to him like that. So, understandably, “he didn't want to let that slip away.” Genuine adult friendships are, after all, not the easiest to come by. And like all relationships, they need consistent effort.

But still, this didn’t exactly negate the hurt feelings the wife had. So when they sat down to talk about it, things got…messy. When her husband told her "it’s not a big deal for us to just go another weekend,” she felt like he was "minimizing something that's special to us.” Meanwhile, the husband was "frustrated” and thought his wife was “overreacting."

That conversation ended with the couple agreeing that the husband would indeed reschedule the trip with his friend. But since it seemed he was “disappointed” by that decision, the wife still wondered if she was simply “being stubborn about a little ritual that maybe only I care about as much as I do.” Hence why she sought advice on Reddit.



After a few questioned why the trip between the two of them had to be on that specific weekend, the woman explained that "the timing feels like an integral part of the tradition itself,” which several folks could relate to.

“As someone who isn’t tied to a certain day to celebrate holidays (I’ve even had Christmas after New Years once) I can attest that moving around days sort of loses that sparkle of intentionality. It sort of feels like the magic spell that ties the tradition has been broken just a little bit, and then it becomes something that you have to schedule - and scheduling around calendars is always going to be a bit of a bitch. When you have a firm day it just sort of feels more secure and sacred.”

“My spouse and I aren’t big on holidays, so we often do this too. But I also find that the rescheduled Thanksgiving/Christmas/birthday/anniversary/whatever doesn’t have that same spark, and if we do all the trappings it basically just becomes extra work for no real reason. But without the trappings, it’s just another day.I do wonder if the fact that we move the holidays around, is what makes us feel ‘not really into them’ in the first place.”

“I personally feel very put out when something is planned and established and it gets moved, especially if the proposal is ‘non-disclosed different date’ because unless a new plan is made, I know it isn’t happening. Especially for traditions, it might seem small to miss it or move it for one year but to me that feels like a snowball for ‘well if we cancel this year then it won’t be seen as important next year because the streak was broken and the momentum lost and now I’ll have to fight for it to happen because people think the rules can be bent to their convenience.’ It’s happened to many, many events in my life.”

Others could definitely see why the wife might be hurt that her husband didn’t view the trip the same was as she did.

“"It's not just a random trip; it’s a tradition that’s been part of your marriage for six years. Asking him to prioritize something that’s meaningful to you isn’t being unreasonable — it’s about honoring the connection you share.”

Still, plenty more folks could see the husband’s side as well.

“It can be tough to make friends when we're adults, and this could be a missed opportunity to strengthen a new bond.”

“Making friends as an adult is hard and sometimes takes a tiny sacrifice in your personal life to build that foundation. I think if you can see it from that perspective, you can enjoy your tradition on a different day and he can build a new friendship that could potentially last a lifetime. I understand initially being upset as it's sentimental but I do think it's not as big of a deal as you viscerally felt.”

In the end, the couple had another talk to communicate a little deeper. “We both agreed we could have handled the conversation better and that neither of us wanted the other to feel like their feelings didn’t matter,” she wrote. Ultimately, having an open conversation about expectations, desires and compromise mended things quite well. They’d still keep the tradition as planned, and the friend trip would be moved to a few weeks later, but now with each partner feeling seen and heard.

We have a few semi-contradictory almost paradoxical truths here. One, traditions only remain traditions through repetition and commitment. However, with too much rigidity, those traditions turn into obligations, thus losing the spark they once had anyway. Two, making plans with adult friends does need to be a priority, but probably not at the expense of set in stone plans with your partner.

But, as with most things in relationships, these complex issues can be tackled with productive conversations. And luckily, these two seem to be mature adults willing to have those conversations.

Babies can recognize 'good guys' early on according to research

It's often said that babies and dogs recognize people that may not have the best intentions. A dog may bark incessantly while a baby may become fussy and keep reaching for their safe person while in the presence of someone they deem as unsafe. This is assumed to be a sort of inherent trait and while it's difficult to accurately measure intuition, researchers have tried to pinpoint if infants can recognize good vs bad.

Over 14 years ago researchers were curious on if babies could pick out the "good guy" and if their preference would be for representation of the good guy or the bad guy. Of course since these were literal infants, there was no way to ask the babies why they chose the way they did but there was enough data for them to see that babies actually preferred the "good character" over the bad one.

In the experiment, babies watch a puppet show that involve characters that are essentially just shapes with googly eyes glued onto them. The red circle is tying to climb up a hill but keeps falling down, that's when the blue square appears and helps the circle climb the hill by giving him a boost from behind, securing the red circle at the top of the hill. On the next try to get up the hill, the red circle is met by a yellow triangle that sees its fellow shape trying to climb the hill but instead of helping, the triangle pushes the circle back down. Kind of rude but okay.

toddler playing with two wooden blocks Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

The babies, some as young as 6 months are facing away from their parents so they can't see their reaction, the researchers then bring out replicas of the characters and asks the baby to pick one. Before the babies see their friendly neighborhood shapes, the researchers tell the parents to close their eyes as to not accidentally influence which shape the baby choses. In nearly every instance the infant chose the character that was deemed the helper proving that babies can differentiate between good social behaviors and bad social behaviors.

This experiment has been replicated multiple times with two being unable to replicate the results at the same high rate though the babies still chose the helper more than the hinderer. Other attempts at replicating the results were much more successful confirming that babies do choose the "good guy" over the "bad guy."

baby in grey and black camouflage onesie lying on bed Photo by Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash

Recently a video of one of the experiments resurfaced on social media showing the preference for the "helper," but in this video, the helper character was the yellow triangle and the bad guy or the hinderer character was the blue square. This led people to believe that the babies were simply picking the character that was more brightly colored, assuming that if the roles were reversed they would still pick the yellow character.


@medspired The moral life of babies (part 1) | ‘Hill Paradigm’ (2007) by J. Kiley Hamlin, Ph.D. & colleagues via The Infant Cognition Centre at Yale Infants as early as 6 months might prefer an individual who “helps another person” to one who “hinders another person”. Researchers believed these findings constitute evidence that moral evaluation does not require language or complex reasoning & may be a fundamental part of human cognition - even in the preverbal stage. #MEDspiration . . . #parenting #parentingtips #toddlerlearning #babylearning #psychology #psychologyfacts #familymedicine #infant #childdevelopment #neuroscience #medicalresearch #yale ♬ original sound - Nav Badesha, M.D.

But many people don't realize that the experiment has already been completed using the alternative scenario producing the same results–babies prefer the helper. In fact, there was a large-scale coordinated multi-lab replication of this experiment which produced the same results of infants preferring the "good guy." The original researchers attempted to recreate the experiment again with 3-month-old infants measuring their preference by how long they gazed at the characters. Surprisingly the results were similar, the younger babies still seem to prefer looking at the character that would be deemed the "good guy."


Given that these experiments involve nonverbal infants, there will likely be more experiments to attempt to replicate the results throughout the years. But for now it seems that the answer to the question of if babies can pick out the good guy is yes, it would seem so.