It is possible to be morally pro-life and politically pro-choice at the same time.
Abortion remains an incredibly polarizing issue but it doesn't have to be.

Pro-choice and pro-life demonstrators face off
The legality of abortion is one of the most polarized debates in America—but it doesn't have to be.
People have big feelings about abortion, which is understandable. On one hand, you have people who feel that abortion is a fundamental women's rights issue, that our bodily autonomy is not something you can legislate, and that those who oppose abortion rights are trying to control women through oppressive legislation. On the other, you have folks who believe that a fetus is a human individual first and foremost, that no one has the right to terminate a human life, and that those who support abortion rights are heartless murderers.
Then there are those of us in the messy middle. Those who believe that life begins at conception, that abortion isn't something we'd choose—and we'd hope others wouldn't choose—under most circumstances, yet who choose to vote to keep abortion legal.
It is entirely possible to be morally anti-abortion and politically pro-choice without feeling conflicted about it. Here's why.
There's far too much gray area to legislate.
No matter what you believe, when exactly life begins and when “a clump of cells" should be considered an individual, autonomous human being is a debatable question.
I personally believe life begins at conception, but that's my religious belief about when the soul becomes associated with the body, not a scientific fact. As Arthur Caplan, award-winning professor of bioethics at New York University, told Slate, “Many scientists would say they don't know when life begins. There are a series of landmark moments. The first is conception, the second is the development of the spine, the third the development of the brain, consciousness, and so on."
But let's say, for the sake of argument, that a human life unquestionably begins at conception. Even with that point of view, there are too many issues that make a black-and-white approach to abortion too problematic to ban it.
Abortion bans hurt some mothers who desperately want their babies to live, and I'm not okay with that.
a man holding a sign that says our life - our decisionPhoto by Aiden Frazier on UnsplashOne reason I don't support banning abortion is because I've seen too many families deeply harmed by restrictive abortion laws.
I've heard too many stories of families who desperately wanted a baby, who ended up having to make the rock-and-a-hard-place choice to abort because the alternative would have been a short, pain-filled life for their child.
I've heard too many stories of mothers having to endure long, drawn out, potentially dangerous miscarriages and being forced to carry a dead baby inside of them because abortion restrictions gave them no other choice.
I've heard too many stories of abortion laws doing real harm to mothers and babies, and too many stories of families who were staunchly anti-abortion until they found themselves in circumstances they never could have imagined, to believe that abortion is always wrong and should be banned at any particular stage.
I am not willing to serve as judge and jury on a woman's medical decisions, and I don't think the government should either.
It is possible to be morally pro-life and politically pro-choice at the same time.Most people's anti-abortion views—mine included—are based on their religious beliefs, and I don't believe that anyone's religion should be the basis for the laws in our country. (For the record, any Christian who wants biblical teachings to influence U.S. law, yet cries “Shariah is coming!" when they see a Muslim legislator, is a hypocrite.)
I also don't want politicians sticking their noses into my very personal medical choices. There are just too many circumstances (seriously, please read the stories linked in the previous section) that make abortion a choice I hope I'd never have to make, but wouldn't want banned. I don't understand why the same people who decry government overreach think the government should be involved in these extremely personal medical decisions.

a crowd of people in front of the Supreme Court after Dobbs decision
Photo by Sarah Penney on UnsplashAnd yes, ultimately, abortion is a personal medical decision. Even if I believe that a fetus is a human being at every stage, that human being's creation is inextricably linked to and dependent upon its mother's body. And while I don't think that means women should abort inconvenient pregnancies, I also acknowledge that trying to force a woman to grow and deliver a baby that she may not have chosen to conceive isn't something the government should be in the business of doing.As a person of faith, my role is not to judge or vilify, but to love and support women who are facing difficult choices. The rest of it—the hard questions, the unclear rights and wrongs, the spiritual lives of those babies,—I comfortably leave in God's hands.
Most importantly, if the goal is to prevent abortion, research shows that outlawing it isn't the way to go.
The biggest reason I vote the way I do is because based on my research pro-choice platforms provide the best chance of reducing abortion rates.
Abortion rates fell by 24% in the past decade and are at their lowest levels in 40 years in America. Abortion has been legal during that time, so clearly, keeping abortion legal and available has not resulted in increased abortion rates. Switzerland has one of the lowest abortion rates on earth and their rate has been falling since 2002, when abortion became largely unrestricted.
Outlawing abortion doesn't stop it, it just pushes it underground and makes it more dangerous. And if a woman dies in a botched abortion, so does her baby. Banning abortion is a recipe for more lives being lost, not fewer.
At this point, the only things consistently proven to reduce abortion rates are comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control. If we want to reduce abortions, that's where we should be putting our energy. The problem is, anti-abortion activists also tend to be the same people pushing for abstinence-only education and making birth control harder to obtain. But those goals can't co-exist in the real world.
Our laws should be based on reality and on the best data we have available. Since comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control—the most proven methods of reducing abortion rates—are the domain of the pro-choice crowd, that's where I place my vote, and why I do so with a clear conscience.
This article originally appeared on 01.22.19
- Texas valedictorian gave unapproved speech on abortion bill - Upworthy ›
- What it really means to be six weeks pregnant - Upworthy ›
- What it was like to be in a roundtable with the VP - Upworthy ›
- How to use gray rocking to get out of awful conversations - Upworthy ›
- Pro-choicer called a 'murderer,' hits back with hard questions about what 'pro-life' really means - Upworthy ›



Student smiling in a classroom, working on a laptop.
Students focused and ready to learn in the classroom.
Fish find shelter for spawning in the nooks and crannies of wood.
Many of these streams are now unreachable by road, which is why helicopters are used.
Tribal leaders gathered by the Little Naches River for a ceremony and prayer.

Communications expert shares the perfect way to gracefully shut down rude comments
Taking the high ground never felt so good.
A woman is insulted at her job.
It came out of nowhere. A coworker made a rude comment that caught you off guard. The hair on the back of your neck stands up, and you want to put them in their place, but you have to stay tactful because you're in a professional setting. Plus, you don't want to stoop to their level.
In situations like these, it helps to have a comeback ready so you can stand up for yourself while making making sure they don't disrespect you again.
Vince Xu, who goes by Lawyer Vince on TikTok, is a personal injury attorney based in Torrance, California, where he shares the communication tips he's learned with his followers. Xu says there are three questions you can ask someone who is being rude that will put them in their place and give you the high ground:
Question 1: "Sorry, can you say that again?"
"This will either make them have to awkwardly say the disrespectful remark one more time, or it'll actually help them clarify what they said and retract their statement," Xu shares.
Question 2: "Did you mean that to be hurtful?"
The next step is to determine if they will repeat the disrespectful comment. "This calls out their disrespect and allows you to learn whether they're trying to be disrespectful or if there's a misunderstanding," Xu continues.
Question 3: "Are you okay?"
"What this does, is actually put you on higher ground, and it's showing empathy for the other person," Xu adds. "It's showing that you care about them genuinely, and this is gonna diffuse any type of disrespect or negative energy coming from them."
The interesting thing about Xu's three-step strategy is that by gracefully handling the situation, it puts you in a better position than before the insult. The rude coworker is likely to feel diminished after owning up to what they said, and you get to show them confidence and strength, as well as empathy. This will go a lot further than insulting them back and making the situation even worse.
Xu's technique is similar to that of Amy Gallo, a Harvard University communications expert. She says that you should call out what they just said, but make sure it comes out of their mouth. "You might even ask the person to simply repeat what they said, which may prompt them to think through what they meant and how their words might sound to others," she writes in the Harvard Business Review.
More of Gallo's suggested comebacks:
“Did I hear you correctly? I think you said…”
“What was your intention when you said…?”
“What specifically did you mean by that? I'm not sure I understood.”
“Could you say more about what you mean by that?”
Ultimately, Xu and Gallo's advice is invaluable because it allows you to overcome a negative comment without stooping to the other person's level. Instead, it elevates you above them without having to resort to name-calling or admitting they got on your nerves. That's the mark of someone confident and composed, even when others are trying to take them down.