“Spinster” was one of the worst insults a person could hurl at a woman in the Victorian era. Typically, a spinster was a single woman who was childless, unmarried and had few prospects. Spinsters were the subject of cruel jokes and thought of as sad, lonely women, left on the shelf.
The term spinster dates back to the 1300s and refers to women who spun yarn for a living. This was often the profession of single women because they didn’t have the resources to purchase expensive materials, so they were relegated to spinning wool. In 1889, the editor of Tit-Bits, a British weekly magazine, asked single women to write in and explain why they aren’t married. The woman with the best response would be featured in the paper and win a prize.
The article was discovered by historian Dr. Bob Nicholson.
In 1889, Tit-Bits magazine offered prizes to single, female readers who sent in the best answers to the question: ‘Why Am I A Spinster?’ Here are some highlights… pic.twitter.com/7gRG0kVbUO— Dr Bob Nicholson (@DigiVictorian) February 17, 2018
The request was a response to an earlier piece the magazine had run asking male readers, “Why are you a bachelor?”
The editor received a ton of letters and they weren’t the cordial responses we’ve come to expect from women of the era. Nope. They were smart, funny and sharp retorts that showed there were a lot of women out there who were single for a reason.
The editor originally only planned to post one response, but instead, he ran 21 responses and gave each one an equal piece of the prize. Each woman earned 5 shillings, which is about $25 today.
Here are 11 of the best responses. The first one is a reference to the tide of American women who flocked to England to marry into the aristocracy in the era.
1. It’s the damn Yankees
“Because I am an English lady, and the Americans monopolize the market,” — Miss Jessie Davies
2. She’s a wild horse
“Like the wild mustang of the prairie that roams unfettered, tossing his head in utter disdain at the approach of the lasso which, if once round his neck, proclaims him captive, so I find it more delightful to tread on the verge of freedom and captivity, than to allow the snarer to cast around me the matrimonial lasso,” — Miss Sarah Kennerly
3. She’s a self-made woman
“Because I have other professions open to me in which the hours are shorter, the work more agreeable, and the pay possibly higher,” — Miss Florence Watts
4. She’s rare china
“Because (like a piece of rare china) I am breakable, and mendable, but difficult to match,” — Miss S.A. Roberts,
5. Only Shakespeare could describe her
“My reason for being a spinster is answered in a quotation from the ‘Taming of the Shrew’: ‘Of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face which I could fancy more than any other,” — Miss Lizzie Moore
6. Ready for action
“Because I am like the Rifle Volunteers: always ready, but not yet wanted,” — Miss Annie Thompson
7. No need for a beast
“…I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets, and I find the animal man less docile than a dog, less affectionate than a cat, and less amusing than a monkey,” — Miss Sparrow
8. We’ll marry when John can afford it
“John, whom I loved, was supplanted in his office by a girl, who is doing the same amount of work he did for half the salary he received. He could not earn sufficient to keep a home, so went abroad; consequently, I am still a spinster,” — Miss E. Jones
9. Men are deceitful
“Because men, like three cornered tarts, are deceitful. They are pleasing to the eye, but on closer acquaintanceship prove hollow and stale, consisting chiefly of puff, with a minimum of sweetness, and an unconquerable propensity to disagree with one,” — Miss Emaline Lawrence
10. There’s no way off the marriage toboggan
“Because matrimony is like an electric battery, when you once join hands and can’t let go, however much it hurts; and, as when embarked on a toboggan slide, you must go to the bitter end, however much it bumps,” — Miss Laura Bax
11. Waitin’ fer a dook
“Dear Mister Tit-Bits,-beein a cook with forteen pund 5/10 1/2 savins in the bank i natterally looks down on perlseesmen soljers an setterar, so i ham waiting fur a erle or a dook or sumthin of that sort to perpose fer my and and art, and that’s why i ham a spinster,” — Miss Annie Newton
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Actress and author Mariel Hemingway has quite the legacy. Her grandfather was the famed Pulitzer Prize– and Nobel Prize–winning author Ernest Hemingway. In fact, her family is full of writers, actors, painters, and opera singers. Like her grandfather, she came by her own talents at a cost. Many of those gifts in acting and writing…
Actress and author Mariel Hemingway has quite the legacy. Her grandfather was the famed Pulitzer Prize– and Nobel Prize–winning author Ernest Hemingway. In fact, her family is full of writers, actors, painters, and opera singers. Like her grandfather, she came by her own talents at a cost. Many of those gifts in acting and writing came with deep mental anguish.
While Hemingway continues a successful career onscreen—she was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar as a teen for her role in Manhattan—she is also a writer. In exploring her complicated family struggles, she never seems to shy away from stripping away any semblance of ego. This is reflected in her work, where she bares vulnerable parts of life: mental health, depression, and most recently, aging.
In a recent Instagram post, she shared a close-up photo of her face—no smile and perhaps just a dash of makeup. With Sheryl Crow’s “If It Makes You Happy” underscoring the photo, she wrote:
“I have been talking about aging lately.
But today it is not aging.
It is wrinkles.
The lines around my mouth I swore I would never have. The soft crepe skin at my neck that seems to appear overnight. The mirror catching me in light I did not ask for.
Some days I do not care.
Other days it feels like a punishment.
I eat well. I move my body. I take care of myself. I do the things we are told will protect us.
And still… time touches my face.
There is a voice that whispers, Why this? Why me? Why now?
I know it is fashionable to say we earned our wrinkles. That this is graceful. That this is beautiful.
And yes… part of me knows that is true.
But another part feels something deeper.
What I realized is this.
The ache is not about the wrinkles.
It is about identity.
Somewhere along the way we start to believe the mirror is telling us who we are.
That youth equals value. That smooth skin equals worth. That beauty equals belonging.
And that is the lie.
Because there is a woman inside of me who has not aged one day.
She is calm. She is radiant. She is grounded. She is sovereign.
She does not disappear because my skin changes.
She was never my skin.
She is my rhythm. My breath. My voice when I stop performing.
Time changes the body.
But it does not touch the throne.
When I remember that, something softens.
I stop fighting the season. I stop punishing myself for nature. I stop confusing appearance with identity.
This is not about pretending you love every wrinkle.
It is about remembering you are not the wrinkle.
It is not what you add.
It is what you remove.
Remove the belief that beauty is youth. Remove the fear that aging equals invisibility. Remove the story that your value lives in your face.
When there is nothing left to remove, the Queen remains.”
Fans respond
Her prose has clearly resonated with fans. More than 92,000 people liked the post, and over 5,000 have commented so far. Famous and non-famous Instagrammers alike chimed in to share how touched they were.
Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wiedlin exclaimed, “Yes! Exactly what you said. We are not allowed to age, at the same time men are elevated as they age, for their sage wisdom.”
Comedian Chelsea Handler simply wrote, “Beautifully said.”
Another woman shared a personal anecdote: “Last Sunday was my 70th birthday. I looked into the mirror and cried tears of joy. Lines and dark spots? No! They were tears of joy, gratitude, and for my life. If you make it this far, it’s for a reason. Life is so worth living. Who cares what I look like? I’m covered in paint every day anyway!”
Hemingway is far from the first woman to openly discuss the beauty standards seemingly placed on women in society.
In a recent appearance on the podcastHow to Fail with Elizabeth Day, actress Kate Winslet didn’t hold back. “We’re so conditioned, women in our 40s, to think, ‘Okay, well, I’m creeping closer to the end,’” she said. “You know, you think you go into menopause and you’re going to stop having sex, and your boobs are going to sag, and your skin’s going to go crepey, and all these things.”
She continued, “First of all, so what? And secondly, it’s just conditioning. You know, I think women, as they get older, become juicier and sexier and more embedded in their truth and who they are. More powerful and more able to walk through the world and care less.”
It can seem easier said than felt. Luckily, many women are feeling more empowered to get raw thanks to celebrities using their voices.
Swedes are known for their delicious and creative-looking, tiny candies avialable at the godisvägg (wall of candy) at their local grocery store. Just grab a bag, fill it up, and pay by weight. Some of Sweden‘s most popular pick-and-mix candies are, of course, Swedish Fish, Ahlgren’s Cars (a small automobile-designed marshmallow candy), Salmiak (salty licorice),…
Swedes are known for their delicious and creative-looking, tiny candies avialable at the godisvägg (wall of candy) at their local grocery store. Just grab a bag, fill it up, and pay by weight. Some of Sweden‘s most popular pick-and-mix candies are, of course, Swedish Fish, Ahlgren’s Cars (a small automobile-designed marshmallow candy), Salmiak (salty licorice), and Polly candies that combine chocolate with a soft center.
However, if you’re a child in Sweden, you’ll have to wait for Saturday to enjoy a bag full of the local godisvägg. That’s because, according to the Swedish tradition known as Lördagsgodis (Saturday candy), they only eat sweets once a week. It’s a sweet tradition but has a rather dark past.
In 1946, as part of the Vipeholm dental study, the Swedish government forced mental patients in its hospitals to eat caramel and other sweets to observe their effects on teeth. After high sugar consumption was linked to tooth decay in the 1950’s, the Swedish government recommended that people eat sweets only once a week.
At the time, trust in government was high, and the growing social safety net required the population to work together to maintain high public health standards. Plus, when the public takes good care of their teeth, it’s a lot easier for the government to pay for healthcare.
The tradition also makes it easier for parents to say “no” to sweets and gives kids something to look forward to on the weekend.
“Mostly, it’s a tool for managing candy, so that there’s no asking about candy during the week, and if they do, ‘It’s not Saturday.’ So, it’s a really a good way to control the sugar,” Therese Larri, a Swedish parent, told the BBC. “But then, it’s an event. They get to choose where we go, which store we go to, and then they take their time. It feels like a big part of the fun is to choose and plain, ‘What am I Gonna get?’”
The Lördagsgodis tradition is also better for people’s teeth because, according to research, it’s better to eat a pound of candy in one sitting and then brush your teeth than to spread the candy over a week and brush every night. The Vipeholm dental study found that sticky sweets eaten between meals cause far more cavities than larger amounts of candy eaten in one sitting. That’s probably a big reason why Swedish people have some of the best teeth in Europe.
Dentistry Today found that Sweden has the fourth-best teeth in Europe, based on a study of 24 European Union countries, plus England and Switzerland.
The Lördagsgodis tradition and the science behind it could be a great way for parents in other countries to talk with their children about candy. Simply ask them: Would you like a little candy throughout the week, or one big day to gorge on an entire bag? If they say they’d take more candy, that’s the lesson of Lördagsgodis: If you can delay your gratification for a few days, you can have all the candy you like.
As Millennials entered adulthood, they ushered in an ideology that was pretty much the antithesis of their Boomer parents’ views in every way, shape, and form. But now, with yet a few more years under our belt, many Millennials are starting to see that maybe, just maybe, the Boomers were reasonable with a few things. …
As Millennials entered adulthood, they ushered in an ideology that was pretty much the antithesis of their Boomer parents’ views in every way, shape, and form. But now, with yet a few more years under our belt, many Millennials are starting to see that maybe, just maybe, the Boomers were reasonable with a few things.
That was certainly the sentiment shared by those who watched a video posted by educator Angie Williams (@the.teacher.chic), as she jokingly tried to school her mother Chris Andresen (who also happened to be a retired teacher) about how to approach the “millennial teaching” method. All to no avail.
For instance, Williams tries to explain that teachers don’t use terms like “boys and girls” to get students’ attention, but instead incorporate “inclusive” language, like “team” or friends.”
“But…they’re not my friends,” Andresen astutely quips.
Moving on to giving student feedback, Andresen looks at a piece of artwork and says, “I’m so proud of you.” Williams corrects her, saying, “you don’t wanna make it about you, you wanna make it about them and their artwork.”
“You… can tell I’m proud of you!” attempts Andresen. Williams then shakes her head, saying, “that’s still about you,” to which Andresen immediately blurts, “damn fine work!” Close enough.
Andresen is also amazed to hear that teachers today never sit. “Aren’t you tired?” she asks.
When it comes to discipline or displaying authority, Williams encourages her mom to only use “positive language,” adding, “We say what we want them to do.”
Andresen translates this as “close your mouth, shut up, and get in line” and “don’t fall on the scissors.”
To the latter, Williams suggests instead that she say, “make a safe choice with your body.”
“Well, what are you going to say if the stab themselves in the eyeball?” Andresen retorts.
“Was that a safe choice with your body?” Williams replies. “Is that a dumb question?” Andresen responds. Williams then seemingly wins the arguemtns, saying “there are no dumb questions,” elaving Adresen looking utterly befuddled.
Still, the seemingly unanimous sentiment in the comments was that Andresen was totally the reasonable one here.
“They are not my friends. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Your mom is great!!!! Don’t fall on the scissors 😂😜”
“Mom wins here. She is 100% right!!”
“I bet this made her so happy she’s retired!! 😂😂😂”
“I’m team mom.”
Screenshot
“Nope. On mom’s side with this one. The vague talk is one reason they act the way they do. Yes. I currently teach.”
“I think more teachers need to use ‘damn fine work.’ I would have felt so good about my progress!!!”
“I’m a teacher. And I am definitely on your mom’s side. No one’s telling these kids to stop anything! It is actually a huge part of the problem!”
While Williams and her mom were clearly just making the video in good fun, it does point to a very real issue that teachers are facing. In addition to excessive administrative tasks, battling cellphones for attention, and depressingly low wages, many educators lament not having much power to contend with classroom behavior issues. So maybe Andresen blunt ““close your mouth, shut up, and get in line” feels a bit refreshingly structured.
No one is necessarily saying we should go back to hitting kids with rulers, but maybe there is something to be said about just letting them know running with scissors is a bad idea. Class dismissed.
On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn’t wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended.…
On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn’t wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA’s “Mamma Mia,” David Lee Roth’s “Just a Gigolo”—you name it, they sang it.
When it was Wade’s turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:
“Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’ ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, Even children get older, I’m getting old too.”
A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, “Never stop feeling the music.”
I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, “I’ve been singing since I was a small child. I’ve loved music all my life.”
As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)
Carole and her band mates. Carole Wade
They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like “Me and Bobby McGee,” “Seven Bridges Road,” and “Whole Lotta Love.” She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn’t hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.
They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, “creating goo.”
Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.
Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. “If you’re down on a certain day, it will bring you up.” She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.
Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, “They remember the music, and the time. It’s a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life.”
A man sings “Just a Gigolo” at The Reserve karaoke day.
There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.comquotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: “Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”
As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents’ frustrating phone use. On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents…
Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents’ frustrating phone use.
On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.
“My parents are on the very young end of being ‘boomers’. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones,” they wrote. “I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos).”
Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcu00edas Giphy
They went on to add, “The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say ‘Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.’ But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? ”
The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.
“I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I’m listening for that they have my attention,” one commented. “And to think that it’s coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains.”
Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy
Another shared, “My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table.”
Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. “I’ve noticed this with my parents. It seems like I’ve switched places with them. I’m trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more,” one commented.
Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents’ phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. “It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish,” another shared.
Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy
Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. “I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don’t like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him,” one Millennial shared.
Another added, “I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it.”
However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. “My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context),” they wrote. “I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about ‘playing on my phone too much’ when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age.”
Other Millennials pointed out that it’s not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. “I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era,” another noted. And another Millennial quipped, “Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness .”
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
One of the most iconic movies from the 1980s is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The film premiered in 1986, and is the epitome of Gen X pop culture. Recently Gen Xers (those born between 1965 and 1980) have been re-watching the childhood classic with their Gen Z kids…and it’s not quite what they remembered. In…
One of the most iconic movies from the 1980s is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The film premiered in 1986, and is the epitome of Gen X pop culture.
Recently Gen Xers (those born between 1965 and 1980) have been re-watching the childhood classic with their Gen Z kids…and it’s not quite what they remembered. In a Reddit community of Gen Xers, member dilatanntedad shared his thoughts after a recent viewing, and it has Gen Xers passionately dissecting it.
“Ferris Bueller did not age well,” he wrote. “I (m53) watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off this weekend with my kids, ages 9 and 10. Of course there are the iconic lines like ‘Life moves fast…’ and ‘Bueller, Bueller, Bueller…’ but the more I watched, the less fun it was.”
“To be honest, at the end I agreed with Ferris’ sister: why does he get away with all this shit when she never could? He’s a rich privileged white boy who punches down, tricking and taking advantage of pathetic school administrators, restaurant workers, younger kids at school, his parents, and even manipulates his best friend,” he wrote, before adding, “He has no empathy for others and does everything for his own enjoyment.”
He ended his post with a final thought: “I know I’m a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, but I’m no longer amused by his antics. And I don’t think Ferris Bueller could be the hero today that he was in the Reagan 80’s.” He then followed up with a comment about his kids’ thoughts: “To be clear, my kids laughed a lot. And I did too. I was just uncomfortable with the overall message.”
His fellow Gen Xers had a lot of opinions to add in, noting that it may not be the film that aged poorly…but them. “I think part of the charm is that at the time it was fun to watch and we could half-identify with the antics,” another Gen Xer wrote. “Watching it from today’s lens, it seems clear that he was likely peaking, destined for very little or mediocrity at best. His privilege came from his two very hard-working, square, corporate parents.”
Tthe comment got a meaningful reply: “This. It’s less that the movie aged poorly, it’s that we aged and see it from a totally different perspective. At 16 I wanted to be Ferris. Care free, everything works out, hot girlfriend, zero responsibilities. Looking back at people I went to high school [with] who were close to that, aren’t exactly successful in life. So we see what that behavior leads to and no longer idolize it.”
Many Gen Xers feel the movie is cinema gold to this day. “I still love it. Stop acting like a boomer ,” one wrote. Another added, “This movie is the GOAT. It aged like wine.” Another agreed: “The movie aged fine. We’re the ones that aged out of its target demographic.”
However, Gen Xers championed Cameron as the film’s most redeeming character. “My kids thought it was great. I’ve always considered Cameron to be the actual protagonist of the story – he’s the one who experiences character growth and conflict,” one commented.
A fellow Gen Xer added, “That is critically accurate. Without Cameron, this movie is a fable. Ferris learns nothing and does not change. He is the narrator—we know this because he talks to the audience and is definitely aware he’s in a movie. Someone else pointed out that Ferris is Cameron’s manic-pixie dream girl. That’s a good way to look at it. Another is that he is the wise mentor figure (like Ben Kenobi) and Cameron is following the heroes journey. We just don’t see his confrontation with his father as the REAL confrontation is internal.”
While Gen Xers may not all agree on the movie’s current-day relevance, many had fun theorizing where Ferris may be today, with one noting, “I bet Ferris would use AI to write his English papers :/.”
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on. On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow…
Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on.
On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow frugal shoppers: “What’s one thing you splurge on that’s worth every penny?”
Frugal people spilled on the things they don’t mind dropping money on. These are 35 splurges frugal people say are worth “every penny.”
“For me, it’s a solid pair of boots and a good mattress. If my feet and back are shot, the whole day’s downhill from there. I’ll eat leftovers and skip takeout all week if it means I’m sleeping right and walking easy. Also decent coffee and laundry service are creeping up the list too.” —WildRootKitchen
“Air conditioning. I make money so I can be comfortable, not be uncomfortable so I can save money.” —strwbrymocha
“AC/Heat, always. I’ll never bat an eye at a higher utility bill so long as my sleep goes uninterrupted.” —MediumBullfrog8688
“A house cleaner. Maybe that doesn’t sound frugal, but for the mental health benefits I get from knowing every two weeks I will come home to a spotless house, it’s something I will continue to prioritize over many other expenses.” —mzmonarda
“Gym membership, mattress and pillow, running shoes, quality ingredients from supermarket.” —LoudSilence16
“I have a method for splurges on unfamiliar items. I’ll buy a tool from harbor freight or a cheap version of something I’m interested in to see if I actually need the item or if I’m interested in it. If I use it a bunch and it breaks, then I splurge on a high quality version. If it just sits somewhere either because I didn’t need it as much as I thought or I wasn’t as interested as I thought, then I’m only out a few bucks. Example: I really enjoy cooking, I wanted to learn how to make sausage. I bought a cheap sausage stuffer on amazon for like $30. I used the hell out of it and it broke broke a couple years later. I did some research and bought a LEM 5lbs sausage stuffer that was like $120 and now I have a high quality piece of equipment that works WAY better than my POS amazon stuffer and it will likely outlive my great grandchildren. Also, name brand hardware like faucets. Learned my lesson from buying cheap faucets. Now I’ll just buy Moen.” —40ozT0Freedom
“I live in rural South Carolina. It’s worth it to me to pay for quarterly pest control service from a professional. There are a lot of insects, rodents, reptiles, etc.” —snarkker
“Vacations.” —Proud_Trainer_1234
“An ergonomic desk chair. Back pain is no joke. I only wish I had done it much sooner. Not 20 years into my desk job. At least I should have another 20 years with a good chair and no back pain. I spent $700 on my chair and it was worth every penny. The frugal me shopped around but this was the cheapest one I could find new, some outlets were selling the exact same chair for over $800. 10 year warranty on the chair was a nice bonus too. My husband found the exact same chair secondhand for $100 so now we match. His doesn’t have a 10 year warranty but that’s OK for $100.” —Bunnyeatsdesign
“Buy a second pair of good boots and rotate them. Letting the leather air out a day before wearing the shoes again really help extend their life. I have two cats. I feed them the best grain-free food they will eat. Not only does this extend their life span, the daily litter box collections are much smaller than if they get grain.” —Childless_Catlady42
“I tend to indulge myself when it comes to exercise stuff. The gym classes that I’ll actually go to, the races, the equipment, the good clothes & shoes. I know that everyone talks about a good mattress for their back, but for me, no mattress is as effective as yoga and weight lifting. As long as I keep my core strong, I don’t have back spasms. And running has been amazing for my mental health along with physical, and helped me make some amazing friends. Totally worth every penny.” —kaizenkitten
“I dedicate a decent portion of my budget to ‘self care’. Think massages, pedicures, manicures. It’s the one thing I forward to it every month, as it’s some of the only downtime I have right now.” —YesChef__
“Professional Movers. Stop asking your friends ( especially over 30) to help you move! It’s not worth a six pack of beer and some pizza.” —1tiredmommy
“Business class/first class — never once have I regretted it. We live reasonably the rest of the time, but when it comes time to travel, this is an indulgence that we grant ourselves.” —Weekly_Leg_2457
“Just here in case nobody said tattoos yet. Good work ain’t cheap & cheap work ain’t good.” —Clear_Beat5117
“Reverse osmosis filter. Makes tap water taste good again.” —wonminus1
“Ethical meat. I feel better about eating it, I’m supporting local farmers, and the taste and quality blows supermarket meat out of the water. At this point, I am perfectly happy only eating meat a few times a week (my husband and I are both former vegetarians) and making sure that when we do eat it, it comes from animals who only had one bad day. (This goes for eggs, too – pasture raised/certified humane whenever it’s available. We don’t eat much dairy for health and animal welfare reasons.)” —dzwonzie
“I’m frugal to the max most of the time, but come spring I spend money on flowers, shrubs, things for gardening. That’s my guilty pleasure. I listen to audiobooks from my library. I haven’t watched tv in years because trying to get local channels is impossible. So no streaming service, no cable, but I’m content. I can splurge without feeling guilty like I’ve saved up for it.” —Garden_Lady2
“Furniture. Well made, excellent cushions, materials…both indoor and out.” —ildadof3
“Ice cream.” —Clutcha15
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Shawn Michaels stopped a performance in front of 13,000 to help a fan in need. – Photo credit: Mandy Coombes – Flickr: WWE – Birmingham 210695 (19), CC BY-SA 2.0 & David Seto, CC BY 2.0,
Professional wrestling in the 1990s was really something else. Dominated at the time by the WWF (now WWE), stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and The Undertaker were larger than life and some of the most popular public sports figures in the world well before The Rock and John Cena hit…
Professional wrestling in the 1990s was really something else. Dominated at the time by the WWF (now WWE), stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and The Undertaker were larger than life and some of the most popular public sports figures in the world well before The Rock and John Cena hit the scene.
And then there was Shawn “The Heartbreak Kid” Michaels, who was perhaps the biggest star of all during his heyday. Known for his extraordinarily cocky and vain character, Michaels was a terrific performer both in the ring and on the mic, making him a beloved fan favorite.
In one iconic moment from a 1997 match, Shawn Michaels stopped and left the ring mid-match when he noticed a security scuffle taking place just a few feet away.
The 1997 King of the Ring Pay Per View event featured Shawn Michaels taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin, pitting two of the sport’s biggest stars against each other for what would become a legendary showdown.
Just a minute or so into the match, Steve Austin stops to stare outside the ring at some kind of disturbance. Michaels quickly clocks what’s going on and slides out of the ring. He saunters over to a group of security personnel who seem to be roughly grabbing at and restraining a young boy. Michaels gently shoves them aside and offers comfort to the boy, who it becomes clear has Down syndrome.
It would have been the perfect heartwarming moment…if Steve Austin hadn’t run over and immediately started “punching” Michaels in the head! The performers resume their match in the ring for another minute before Michaels again exits and finds the boy. He waves off the security guards and gently escorts the boy down the aisle and safely away from the ring, effectively breaking character in front of the crowd of 13,000 stunned onlookers.
Once they’re a safe distance from the ring, Michaels hands the boy over to some other officials and a woman who comes running after him, and then returns to the match.
As a show of respect, Steve Austin holds the ropes open for his opponent to return to the regularly scheduled match, which went on to be an all-time classic.
Shawn Michaels breaks out of his heel character to help a child with Down Syndrome who tried jumping into the ring and was grabbed by security. Respect to HBK ? pic.twitter.com/AcXNM3O8Uh
In professional wrestling, there’s a concept called “kayfabe“— it means that at no point are the performers or the production to ever, ever indicate that what’s taking place isn’t real.
We all know that professional wrestling like WWE is staged and mostly scripted. While the athletic stunts are impressive (and the falls really do hurt), the wrestlers in the ring aren’t really fighting each other. It’s all a giant soap opera, with dramatic storylines written that build anticipation for the big showdown.
What’s so unique about pro wrestling is that this illusion is never broken—especially not in the 90s. Performers like Shawn Michaels were never to break character in interviews or fan interactions, and absolutely never during a live match, let alone one of the main events of a Pay Per View performance!
Think kayfabe is silly? Tell that to the wrestlers. In 1975, a trio of wrestlers were involved in a horrific plane crash. One of the wrestler’s, Mr. Wrestling, survived and made it to the hospital, where he proceeded to lie to the doctors:
“While lying in a hospital bed, and with no way of knowing if his compatriots were alive or dead, Mr. Wrestling provided his true name…and then lied about his job to preserve the illusion of wrestling. He knew that if word got out that a good guy, the owner of the company’s brother and three bad guys were all on the same plane, it could ruin that illusion forever,” according to Uproxx.
A wrestler named Junkyard Dog once became “blinded” during a match and wore dark glasses and a walking cane in public for months afterward, even claiming that he could not see his newborn son. One story goes that the “blind” Junkyard Dog was once sitting ringside at a match when a fan jumped the barrier with a gun close by, and JYD was legitimately torn about whether to stop the man and break kayfabe (luckily, police officers intervened first, but can you believe he really had to give this decision serious weight?!).
Junkyard Dog took kayfabe extremely seriously. Giphy
Kayfabe also means that, no matter what’s going on around the production, the show must go on. In 1999, a wrestler named Owen Hart died in the ring after some acrobatics equipment sadly malfunctioned. The others wrestlers were ordered to continue performing the rest of the show with Hart’s blood still drying on the mat.
For Michaels, and Austin to a lesser extend, to break that illusion of reality in order to help a fan showed a tremendous amount of compassion.
The match has over 12 million views on YouTube, striking a cord with viewers both for the performance and for the amazing display of integrity and warmth by Shawn Michaels. Commenters shared their admiration in droves:
“Shawn Michael protects the special kid like a caring father. Respect.”
“Shawn Michaels taking the time to make sure that young man got out of the ring side safely is one of the best things Ive ever seen in wrestling. A legend in the ring and out.”
“The way Shawn loving blanketed the boy with love to keep him out of the ring and content at the same time was so angelic”
“How great of shawn was it to break character and go help that disabled olympian kid. What a great guy.”
“Stone Cold holding the ropes for Shawn Michaels out of respect for what just happened is the greatest breaking kayfabe moment in the history of the WWE. … Stone Cold acknowledged what just happened and how much he had respect for what Michaels just did.”
Police and security personnel often have extremely poor training on dealing with people with disabilities, which can lead to unnecessary violence. When the young man at this WWF event hopped the railing, he unknowingly put himself in a lot of danger. Shawn Michaels stopping the live performance, breaking character, and helping the boy out with warmth and compassion may have prevented a tragic outcome.
This article originally appeared [time-difference] ago. It has been updated.
