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People are finally discussing the secret etiquette of pooping at someone else's house

Is the courtesy flush polite or a waste of water?

Canva Photos

Lighting a candle? That's basic compared to these advanced tips.

Poop anxiety isn't the most heavily studied medical field, but some estimates say up to a third of people suffer from some kind of anxiety around going to the bathroom in a public place or another person's home. On the low end, they can feel ashamed or embarrassed. At the higher end, they may avoid social functions, public events, or leaving their own home entirely. This phenomenon also tends to affect women more than men. For some people, the worry gets so bad that they constipate themselves or refuse to eat, all because they're worried of what people will think of them.

But you don't have to have extreme "shy bowel" to know the uncertainty associated with feeling a rumbly tummy while you're a guest in someone's house. There are a lot of unknowns to manage. How good is their soundproofing? Does their toilet actually flush properly? Will someone be waiting to go in right after me? Some people anticipate these worries and come up with elaborate rules and routines to leave as little evidence of their go as possible.

A guy took a simple question to social media: Should you always courtesy flush when you're a guest in someone's house? The answer sparked a huge debate about the secret etiquette of public pooping.

poop, bathroom, cat, funny, humor, toilet Cat Closing GIF Giphy

In a thread on the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, the OP asked: "My mother tells me that at other people's houses, when going to the bathroom, it's expected to do a 'courtesy flush'. Is this a real thing?"

For the uninitiated, a courtesy flush is when you flush halfway through your "go." The thinking is that it helps get rid of odors before they build up. Not only did the poster's mother advocate for courtesy flushing, she insisted on a very specific ritual when visiting other people's homes:

  1. Always carry Poopurri and spray before you go
  2. Flush halfway through your session
  3. Flush at the end (obviously)
  4. Clean toilet bowl with wand...every time!

If it sounds a little extreme to you, you're not alone.

However, some commenters were extremely pro-courtesy flush.

toilet, bathroom, home, hygiene, cleaning, etiquette White ceramic toilet bowl with lid up. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

"That’s good advice. First flush on delivery, second flush with clean up. Reduces odor and skid marks."

A few people noted that the courtesy flush is common in jails and prisons, of all places. Due to the tight (extremely tight) quarters, inmates are encouraged to repeatedly flush while they go. I don't want to know what the consequence might be for violating this code.

Others claimed the courtesy flush was a waste of water:

"Flushing twice seems very wasteful in my opinion. I would not like a guest to do that."

"No, please don't waste my water. But do make sure everything goes down."

"If someone did that at my house I'd be low key annoyed at them for wasting water."

Experts agree that the effectiveness of the courtesy flush is very much up for debate. Does it mildly lessen odor? Maybe. It's also a gigantic waste of water. Older toilets can use up to six gallons per flush—yikes! An extra flush is also questionable at best when it comes to sanitation—flushing poop with the lid open is known to spray bacteria all over the bathroom. Yuck.

"Everyone poops, I don't want my guests worrying about it," wrote one commenter. "Crack a window if it's like, lethally stinky, I guess. If you clog the toilet, the plunger is in a plastic tub right there. If you need help, cool, now we have a funny story."

The courtesy flush, however, was only the beginning of the OP's tips for pooping in public.

- YouTube youtu.be

Some commenters were on board with OP's mother's idea of using the toilet brush if it's available:

"If there's some brown stuck to the porcelain after I flush, and if there's a toilet brush on hand, I give it a quick cleaning and a second flush. But not if things look clean otherwise," someone wrote.

Another commenter had an even more advanced idea: "You can also float a strip of toilet paper on top of the water before you poo. Gets wrapped in paper as you drop off your delivery and less likely to leave skid marks in the bowl."

Of course, commenters in threads all over the Internet sing the praises of Poo-Pourri, or even carrying a lighter with you at all times to burn up some of the stinky oxygen. And how's this for a pro-level tip?

"Tip for the courtesy flush.. if one who finds it hard to poop in a public bathroom because you don’t want people to hear you. Flush just right before you push and the sound of the water will cover the sound of gas etc and it will go right down with the water so very minimal smell."

I mean, all you can do really is clap at the social-anxiety-fueled ingenuity on display. The experts seem to agree here. Even Healthline recommends carrying air purifier spray, lining the inside of the bowl with toilet paper to absorb sound, and flushing several times to reduce anxiety worries.

The general consensus is that, when pooping at someone's house, basic etiquette applies. Clean up after yourself to a normal degree, but remember, as the saying goes: Everybody poops.

Some people are really protective over the bathrooms in their homes, which is their right. But if that's the case, they really shouldn't be having guests over and expecting them not to partake in normal human biological behaviors.

Some of the advanced tips shared by anxious-pooers might help, but try not to send yourself into a tailspin trying to cover your tracks. In extreme cases of bathroom anxiety, experts say cognitive behavior therapy or even antidepressants may be needed. But the rest of us might just need to read that world famous children's book again.

This article originally appeared in March.

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Dramatic video shows a woman confronting a harasser at the gym

That's how you do it.

via Chelsie Gleason/TikTok

Chelsie Gleason confronts a man who was harassing her.

In 2021, a video on TikTok posted by Chelsie Gleason garnered more than 12 million views because of the way she assertively told a man who who was harassing her to get away. Gleason was filming herself lifting weights when a man approached her attempting to strike up a conversation. She ignored him and was wearing earbuds, but the man didn't get the point.

"I was just trying to work out when this happens," a voiceover says in the video taken at a Crunch Fitness gym. "I've never met this guy and he's been harassing me for months." Finally, Gleason had enough and snapped at the man. "Don't come near me," she said confidently as she dropped her weights and took a step back. The man immediately turned and briskly walked away. You can tell she got her point across because he looked like he wanted to get out of there fast.

@_chesslee_

being a female is fun(:

Registered dietitian Carrie Taylor says that Gleason did the right thing by telling the man to stop while he was harassing her. She says that if you tell someone to stop harassing you at the gym and they persist, to immediately talk to the manager and threaten to call the police if swift action isn't taken.

She also says you should also get a restraining order if necessary. Do anything to stop the harassment because it could intensify. Gyms should also prominently post signs that warn people about sexual harassment so that these situations don't happen in the first place.

gym, man, harassment, workout, gym safetyMan at gym.Canva Photos

After the video went viral, Crunch Fitness announced it had found the man and banned him from its facilities.

"Our philosophy at Crunch is 'no judgments,' where we promote positive self-esteem and respect all races, cultures and nationalities in a fun atmosphere," a spokesperson for Crunch Fitness told Newsweek in 2021. "All of our gyms are committed to creating a safe and welcoming environment for all members."

"He's been found and as been banned! Thank you @CrunchFitness," Gleason wrote in the comment section.

One person in the comments made an important point about why this type of harassment is so dangerous: "Imagine if a shyer girl is walking to her car at night and he's out there...he needs to be kicked out," they wrote. Who knows what the man's intentions were and whether he was grooming her for something truly terrible?

This isn't the first time Gleason has faced harassment in the gym. She's tweeted about it several times in the past. It's clear from the video that she's hit a breaking point.

Four years on from the incident, Gleason keeps the video pinned at the top of her TikTok page. Unfortunately, this is necessary to keep raising awareness about unsafe situations for women at gyms and showing women how to handle themselves when these situations happen. A quick search on TikTok will return numerous videos of women in similar situations to Gleason confronting creepy men at the gym. Various publications have also written about women facing harassment at their gyms over the years, from feature writer Sirin Kale's 2020 piece about sexism, stalking, and surveillance in The Guardian, to the BBC 2023 feature, "The TikTok trends calling out gym harassment against women."

Earlier this year, WellHub published a survey they'd taken of over 150 women in the U.S. regarding their experience with in-gym harassment. Other publications such as The New York Post, have published pieces about what women have to face while working out, aptly calling it misogyny.

woman, gym, safety, workout, misogyny, harassmentWoman at the gym.Canva Photos

Gleason's brave decision to confront the man put an end to his creepy, threatening behavior in the moment. But the video may serve a greater purpose by showing women how to react to men who harass them. Further, it could also deter men from harassing women in the first place by showing them there are serious consequences for being a creep.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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Debate over night vs. morning showers gets surprisingly heated. Here's what experts say.

Certain details might change people's minds about when they shower.

Photo credit: Canva

People have strong feelings about showering in the morning or at night.

When we think of life's big questions, we usually think about things like the meaning of life and whether or not God exists. We probably don't think about which way a toilet paper roll should hang or how often we should wash our bed sheets, but interestingly enough, those practical daily life questions often lead to more heated debates than the mystical existential ones.

Case in point: A viral X thread in which people discuss whether it's best to shower in the morning or at night. It appears that people have surprisingly strong feelings about the subject that they vehemently defend. Is what time of day to clean your body a world-changing debate? No. Is it a life-changing one on an individual level? Maybe.

The debate started when someone posted about normalizing showering and wearing deodorant to school, and a person responded that night showering was becoming less normalized. "We need to talk about it," they wrote, and talk about it people did.

The morning shower people chimed in with their thoughts and reasoning:

"Good, morning showers is the way to go. Don't tell me you get out of your bed and just start the day all crusty And why would you shower just before sleeping like."

"I shower in the morning because helps me wake up. That’s why I don’t shower at night."

"I like feeling clean in the morning before school, simple as."

"In the morning u wake up for the day and also its easier to fix ur hair if it dries weirdly while u sleep."

"That’s because you sweat more in your sleep (yes, even if you’re cold) so you wake up sweatier and greasier than you went to bed. Showering in the morning makes the most sense to me, I’d rather not go out sweaty and stanky."

"Think about it. You shower at 9 pm and wake up at 7 am. That's already 10 hours, no shower. Then you have a full day doing jacksht. Do you really think your body won't start to smell throughout the day? This is mind-boggling to me."

shower, morning shower, showering at in the morning, woman in showerSome people prefer to wake up and shower.Photo credit: Canva

But the night shower people made their own cases as well:

"People assuming people stink being a night shower person when really we should be assuming these people don't wash their sheets cause how are you gonna stink that fast just by sleeping on a presumably clean bed."

"Morning showering makes no sense, you’re showering before you get dirty, you then come home, sleep in your bed dirty, then wake up and shower."

"I shower at night so I sleep and wake up clean. I feel nasty as hell if I go to bed without a shower."

"Night showers make the most sense to me. You wake up clean, go about your day and get dirty, wash the dirt off before you go to bed, get in bed clean, wake up clean, etc."

"Why would anyone go to sleep dirty???? to sit in your filth for 8hrs?? build up all that bacteria on ur sheets?? so gross. u dont get dirty sleeping in a clean bed. so shower at night, wear deodorant to bed if u sweat, and wash ur face in the morning. that should be the norm."

shower, nighttime shower, showering at night, woman in showerSome people insist that showering at night is the only way to go.Photo credit: CanvaPhoto credit: Canva

As always, there were some centrists on the matter, explaining that everyone has different needs and preferences and lifestyles that might lend themselves to one or the other:

"Depends on the day tbh, if I’m working out and running errands outside then definitely a night shower, if I stay in all day and laze around then my usual morning shower is all I do, so sometimes two times a day sometimes one!"

"When I worked in an office and needed to greet people all day I was a morning showerer. Now I do manual (and quite filthy) labor, I cannot imagine even stepping foot into my bedroom with the yuck of the day still on me."

"Controversial take but imagine everyone is different and everyone's body behaves different and either is absolutely fine as long as u use deodorant."

shower, morning shower, showering at night, man in showerSome people insist on showering at night and in the morning.Photo credit: Canva

And then there were the double judgers, who were appalled that everyone isn't showering in the morning and at night:

"The amount of people in the comments not taking a shower both before bed and in the morning is disappointing."

"Tbh, especially if you work or are on your feet for multiple hours of the day it’s at minimum 2 showers a day."

"Night shower so you clean off the dirtiness from outside and get into a clean bed morning rinse so you rinse off the sweat from the night and get a good morning freshener."

shower, morning shower, showering at night, when should you take a showerSome people insist on showering at night and in the morning.Photo credit: Canva

The sweat and stink factors seem to be the crux of the debate divide, with some assumptions being made all around. For instance, the morning showers assume the night showerers aren't putting on deodorant after their shower. Some even point to the idea that putting on antiperspirant before bed isn't healthy, as your armpits "need to breathe." Many night showerers assume it's a given that they'd deodorize after their shower. Some people sweat more at night than others, making nighttime showering seem more or less icky to different people.

So what do the experts say about showering in the morning or at night?

In short, it doesn't really matter all that much.

“There’s no definitive answer for the global population on whether to take an evening vs. morning shower,” dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told the Cleveland Clinic. “But for each individual, there tends to be a right answer. And it’s all based on preference.”

But what about the sheets staying clean? Eh, it's not quite that simple.

Microbiologist Primrose Freestone wrote in The Conversation that she personally prefers day showering and asserts that night showering doesn't prevent your sheets from getting icky. "Even if you’ve freshly showered before bed, you will still sweat during the night—whatever the temperature is," she wrote. "Your skin microbes will then eat the nutrients in that sweat. This means that by the morning, you’ll have both deposited microbes onto your bed sheets and you’ll probably also wake up with some BO."

In fact, she added, “A morning shower suggests your body will be cleaner of night-acquired skin microbes when putting on fresh clothes. You’ll also start the day with less sweat for odor-producing bacteria to feed on—which will probably help you smell fresher for longer during the day compared to someone who showered at night."

man dancing in the showerMorning showers might have a slight benefit over nighttime ones.Giphy

The most important behavior in this discussion is washing your sheets regularly—at least weekly—no matter when you shower, according to both Freestone and Vij.

“It’s a wash,” Dr. Vij said in response to the sheets question. “Regardless of when you shower, you should wash your sheets on a regular basis. You’re still going to deposit a lot of dead skin cells, accumulated overnight sweat, bacteria and oils. Fungus is going to live there. There’s all sorts of contaminants and pollutants in your bed whether you take a shower beforehand or not.”

The only people who might actually be "wrong" in the debate are the folks who are judging those who aren't showering twice a day. Dermatologists don't recommend showering more than once per day so as not to upset the balance of natural oils and good bacteria that live on your skin. In fact, several times a week is sufficient for most people (barring those who do extremely dirty or sweaty work, of course).

Bottom line is, shower when you want to, morning or night. But do shower, and make sure to wash your sheets regularly.

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People are finally discussing the secret etiquette of pooping at someone else's house

Is the courtesy flush polite or a waste of water?

Canva Photos

Lighting a candle? That's basic compared to these advanced tips.

Poop anxiety isn't the most heavily studied medical field, but some estimates say up to a third of people suffer from some kind of anxiety around going to the bathroom in a public place or another person's home. On the low end, they can feel ashamed or embarrassed. At the higher end, they may avoid social functions, public events, or leaving their own home entirely. This phenomenon also tends to affect women more than men. For some people the worry gets so bad that they constipate themselves or refuse to eat, all because they're worried of what people will think of them.

But you don't have to have extreme "shy bowel" to know the uncertainty associated with feeling a rumbly tummy while you're a guest in someone's house. There are a lot of unknowns to manage. How good is their soundproofing? Does their toilet actually flush properly? Will someone be waiting to go in right after me? Some people anticipate these worries and come up with elaborate rules and routines to leave as little evidence of their go as possible.

A guy took a simple question to social media: Should you always courtesy flush when you're a guest in someone's house? The answer sparked a huge debate about the secret etiquette of public pooping.


poop, bathroom, dancing, funny, humor, toiletThis dancing poop says pooping can be fun!Giphy

In a thread on the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, the OP asked: "My mother tells me that at other people's houses, when going to the bathroom, it's expected to do a 'courtesy flush'. Is this a real thing?"

For the uninitiated, a courtesy flush is when you flush halfway through your "go." The thinking is that it helps get rid of odors before they build up. Not only that did the poster's mother advocate for courtesy flushing, she insisted on a very specific ritual when visiting other people's homes:

  1. Always carry Poopurri and spray before you go
  2. Flush halfway through your session
  3. Flush at the end (obviously)
  4. Clean toilet bowl with wand... every time!
If it sounds a little extreme to you, you're not alone.

However, some commenters were extremely pro-courtesy flush.

toilet, bathroom, home, hygiene, cleaning, etiquetteWhite ceramic toilet bowl with cover. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

"I’ve done the 'courtesy flush' thing for years… mainly to help minimize lingering odors more than any other reason."

"That’s good advice. First flush on delivery, second flush with clean up. Reduces odor and skid marks."

A few people noted that the courtesy flush is common in jails and prisons, of all places. Due to the tight (extremely tight) quarters, inmates are encouraged to repeatedly flush while they go. I don't want to know what the consequence might be for violating this code.

Others claimed the courtesy flush was a waste of water:

"Flushing twice seems very wasteful in my opinion. I would not like a guest to do that."

"No, please don't waste my water. But do make sure everything goes down."

"If someone did that at my house I'd be low key annoyed at them for wasting water."

Experts agree that the effectiveness of the courtesy flush is very much up for debate. Does it mildly lessen odor? Maybe. It's also a gigantic waste of water. Older toilets can use up to six gallons per flush—yikes! An extra flush is also questionable at best when it comes to sanitation—flushing poop with the lid open is known to spray bacteria all over the bathroom. Yuck.

"Everyone poops, I don't want my guests worrying about it," wrote one commenter. "Crack a window if it's like, lethally stinky, I guess. If you clog the toilet, the plunger is in a plastic tub right there. If you need help, cool, now we have a funny story."

The courtesy flush, however, was only the beginning of the OPSEC tips for pooping in public.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Some commenters were on board with OP's mother's idea of using the toilet brush if it's available:

"If there's some brown stuck to the porcelain after I flush, and if there's a toilet brush on hand, I give it a quick cleaning and a second flush. But not if things look clean otherwise," someone wrote.

Another commenter had an even more advanced idea: "You can also float a strip of toilet paper on top of the water before you poo. Gets wrapped in paper as you drop off your delivery and less likely to leave skid marks in the bowl."

Of course, commenters in threads all over the Internet sing the praises of Poo-Pourri, or even carrying a lighter with you at all times to burn up some of the stinky oxygen. And how's this for a pro-level tip?

"Tip for the courtesy flush.. if one who finds it hard to poop in a public bathroom because you don’t want people to hear you. Flush just right before you push and the sound of the water will cover the sound of gas etc and it will go right down with the water so very minimal smell."

I mean, all you can do really is clap at the social-anxiety-fueled ingenuity on display. The experts seem to agree here. Even Healthline recommends carrying air purifier spray, lining the inside of the bowl with toilet paper to absorb sound, and flushing several times to reduce anxiety worries.

The general consensus is that, when pooping at someone's house, basic etiquette applies. Clean up after yourself to a normal degree, but remember, as the saying goes: Everybody poops.

Some people are really protective over the bathrooms in their homes, which is their right. But if that's the case, they really shouldn't be having guests over and expecting them not to partake in normal human biological behaviors.

Some of the advanced tips shared by anxious-pooers might help, but try not to send yourself into a tailspin trying to cover your tracks. In extreme cases of bathroom anxiety, experts say cognitive behavior therapy or even antidepressants may be needed. But the rest of us might just need to read that world famous children's book again.

This article originally appeared in March

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