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He was born a girl. He knew he was a boy. And what his parents did ... well, just take a look.

These parents are doing it right by accepting their child for who he is.

He was born a girl. He knew he was a boy. And what his parents did ... well, just take a look.

This story originally appeared 2.13.15


Parenting is about being the best mom or dad we can be to our kids. Sometimes it's simple. Other times, it might not be what we anticipated or imagined. But that doesn't really matter — because there's no straightforward manual for raising kids. And when we take on this gig, we're responsible for loving our children unconditionally.

Jeff and Hillary Whittington wanted to be parents.



They got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. (Cuuuuute baby, right?!) They named her Ryland.

On Ryland's first birthday, they learned she was deaf.

Like any parents would be, Jeff and Hillary were sad when they learned the news because of the additional challenges Ryland would face. Ryland received cochlear implants and learned to speak and hear. Things were going well.

But Ryland needed them to know something else.


Ryland wanted everyone to know that she was a boy. Some people told Ryland's parents that it was "just a phase." But the thing about phases is that they end. Ryland's feelings and expression of them only got stronger.

Ryland's feelings were not a "phase."

Ryland was expressing who he was — a boy.

And the inability to be himself was too much to bear.

Shame is destructive and painful. And nobody — a child or an adult — should feel shame for who they are. Psychotherapist Ami B. Kaplan says: "Simply being different is enough for any child to develop some shame, but being different and getting messages from family, teachers, other kids and society that your difference is undesirable, less-than or something to be made fun of can create shame."

Ryland continued to share the truth.

It wasn't a phase. It was Ryland's reality.

So Ryland's parents did what any good parent should do. They listened and learned.

Jeff and Hillary reached out for help from professionals, learned everything they could, and came to the only conclusion that existed: Their child was transgender. Ryland was born with female anatomy, but Ryland's brain identifies as male.

No matter Ryland's gender, Ryland's parents wanted him *alive*.

Studies show that 41% of transgender adults have attempted suicide. Take a minute to think about that number. It's nine times higher than the average attempted suicide rate. Here's what we need to know: "Suicide attempts were less common among transgender and gender-nonconforming people who said their family ties had remained strong after they came out."

Makes complete sense, right? If you can live as your authentic self without discrimination or abuse because of who you are, you're going to be a lot happier.

Ryland's parents took that to heart. They began Ryland's transition.

They cut his hair, and he began dressing and living as a boy. They began using the correct gender pronouns: him and he.

And Ryland was happy.

You know what? The people who mattered did the right thing.

Even if they'd lost all of their friends and family, I know the Whittingtons would have honored Ryland and supported him in his transition. But fortunately, they were surrounded by a lot of good people, and most accepted Ryland for who he was.

'Cause here's the thing...

There are many tragedies that can happen to our children. This is not one.

Ryland is happy now that he gets to live as himself.

As his parents said, "He's still healthy, handsome, and extremely happy!"

No-strings attached parenting.

And there you have it. Parenting done right. When we become parents, we don't get to have our kids live out our ideal vision of who they'll be. We have to love and support them for who they are.

Don't stop yet!

Ryland's parents made an amazing video from which I created this story. Please watch it. I promise it's incredible and moving and it shares a very important lesson.

If you have a child who doesn't conform to society's gender norms, this is for you. If you are raising children who do conform to society's gender norms, this is for you, too, because it's up to you to raise accepting, loving children who will treat others with respect and kindness. And really, it's for everyone because the world can use more love, compassion, and empathy.

Want to help educate others and also spread some feel-good love? You can share this!

Pop Culture

Artist uses AI to create ultra realistic portraits of celebrities who left us too soon

What would certain icons look like if nothing had happened to them?

Mercury would be 76 today.

Some icons have truly left this world too early. It’s a tragedy when anyone doesn’t make it to see old age, but when it happens to a well-known public figure, it’s like a bit of their art and legacy dies with them. What might Freddie Mercury have created if he were granted the gift of long life? Bruce Lee? Princess Diana?

Their futures might be mere musings of our imagination, but thanks to a lot of creativity (and a little tech) we can now get a glimpse into what these celebrities might have looked like when they were older.

Alper Yesiltas, an Istanbul-based lawyer and photographer, created a photography series titled “As If Nothing Happened,” which features eerily realistic portraits of long gone celebrities in their golden years. To make the images as real looking as possible, Yesiltas incorporated various photo editing programs such as Adobe Lightroom and VSCO, as well as the AI photo-enhancing software Remini.

“The hardest part of the creative process for me is making the image feel ‘real’ to me,” Yesiltas wrote about his passion project. “The moment I like the most is when I think the image in front of me looks as if it was taken by a photographer.”

Yesiltas’ meticulousness paid off, because the results are uncanny.

Along with each photo, Yesiltas writes a bittersweet message “wishing” how things might have gone differently … as if nothing happened.
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All images provided by Adewole Adamson

It begins with more inclusive conversations at a patient level

True

Adewole Adamson, MD, of the University of Texas, Austin, aims to create more equity in health care by gathering data from more diverse populations by using artificial intelligence (AI), a type of machine learning. Dr. Adamson’s work is funded by the American Cancer Society (ACS), an organization committed to advancing health equity through research priorities, programs and services for groups who have been marginalized.

Melanoma became a particular focus for Dr. Adamson after meeting Avery Smith, who lost his wife—a Black woman—to the deadly disease.

melanoma,  melanoma for dark skin Avery Smith (left) and Adamson (sidenote)

This personal encounter, coupled with multiple conversations with Black dermatology patients, drove Dr. Adamson to a concerning discovery: as advanced as AI is at detecting possible skin cancers, it is heavily biased.

To understand this bias, it helps to first know how AI works in the early detection of skin cancer, which Dr. Adamson explains in his paper for the New England Journal of Medicine (paywall). The process uses computers that rely on sets of accumulated data to learn what healthy or unhealthy skin looks like and then create an algorithm to predict diagnoses based on those data sets.

This process, known as supervised learning, could lead to huge benefits in preventive care.

After all, early detection is key to better outcomes. The problem is that the data sets don’t include enough information about darker skin tones. As Adamson put it, “everything is viewed through a ‘white lens.’”

“If you don’t teach the algorithm with a diverse set of images, then that algorithm won’t work out in the public that is diverse,” writes Adamson in a study he co-wrote with Smith (according to a story in The Atlantic). “So there’s risk, then, for people with skin of color to fall through the cracks.”

Tragically, Smith’s wife was diagnosed with melanoma too late and paid the ultimate price for it. And she was not an anomaly—though the disease is more common for White patients, Black cancer patients are far more likely to be diagnosed at later stages, causing a notable disparity in survival rates between non-Hispanics whites (90%) and non-Hispanic blacks (66%).

As a computer scientist, Smith suspected this racial bias and reached out to Adamson, hoping a Black dermatologist would have more diverse data sets. Though Adamson didn’t have what Smith was initially looking for, this realization ignited a personal mission to investigate and reduce disparities.

Now, Adamson uses the knowledge gained through his years of research to help advance the fight for health equity. To him, that means not only gaining a wider array of data sets, but also having more conversations with patients to understand how socioeconomic status impacts the level and efficiency of care.

“At the end of the day, what matters most is how we help patients at the patient level,” Adamson told Upworthy. “And how can you do that without knowing exactly what barriers they face?”

american cancer society, skin cacner treatment"What matters most is how we help patients at the patient level."https://www.kellydavidsonstudio.com/

The American Cancer Society believes everyone deserves a fair and just opportunity to prevent, find, treat, and survive cancer—regardless of how much money they make, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, gender identity, their disability status, or where they live. Inclusive tools and resources on the Health Equity section of their website can be found here. For more information about skin cancer, visit cancer.org/skincancer.

The mesmerizing lost art of darning knit fabric.

For most of human history, people had to make their own clothing by hand, and sewing skills were subsequently passed down from generation to generation. Because clothing was so time-consuming and labor-intensive to make, people also had to know how to repair clothing items that got torn or damaged in some way.

The invention of sewing and knitting machines changed the way we acquire clothing, and the skills people used to possess have largely gone by the wayside. If we get a hole in a sock nowadays, we toss it and replace it. Most of us have no idea how to darn a sock or fix a hole in any knit fabric. It's far easier for us to replace than to repair.

But there are still some among us who do have the skills to repair clothing in a way that makes it look like the rip, tear or hole never happened, and to watch them do it is mesmerizing.

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Joy

Nurse turns inappropriate things men say in the delivery room into ‘inspirational’ art

"Can you move to the birthing ball so I can sleep in the bed?"

Holly the delivery nurse.

After working six years as a labor and delivery nurse Holly, 30, has heard a lot of inappropriate remarks made by men while their partners are in labor. “Sometimes the moms think it’s funny—and if they think it’s funny, then I’ll laugh with them,” Holly told TODAY Parents. “But if they get upset, I’ll try to be the buffer. I’ll change the subject.”

Some of the comments are so wrong that she did something creative with them by turning them into “inspirational” quotes and setting them to “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton on TikTok.

“Some partners are hard to live up to!” she jokingly captioned the video.

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