Can't go wrong with these funny cat-themed books.
Hey there, fellow cat people and people who know cat people!
If you're here, there's a good chance you know a quirky cat lover or are one yourself, and what a delight. Cats are simply the best creatures, a perfect blend of grace, strength, agility and delightful derpiness. They're beautiful, soft little weirdos, affectionate when they want to be, aloof when they don't and notoriously independent.
Cats are superior and they know it, which is hilarious. We may talk about guard dogs, but only a fool would mess with a cat.
Cat people are cat people because they revel in cats' unique personalities and appreciate their idiosyncrasies. But that doesn't mean they love all cat-related things.
Let's say you want to buy a cat person a gift but don't want it to be a kiddie stuffed animal or kitschy ceramic cat figurine that will just collect dust. Let's also say your cat person also has a fabulous sense of humor. What do you get them?
How about an unexpectedly hilarious cat-themed book? Like, how could you go wrong with this:
"Crafting With Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make With Your Cat"
by Kaori Tsutaya
"Crafting With Cat Hair"
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Amazon description: "Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting With Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!"
That description is so adorably earnest. Do people really do cat hair crafts? I would buy this book for someone just to see the look on their face.
If that's a little too gaggy for you, how about this one?
"How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives"
by Zachary Auburn
"How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety"
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Amazon description: "For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”
Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!"
(Yes, it's satire. Nobody actually give your cat a gun, please.)
Are you familiar with The Oatmeal? This book from the famous website was a #1 NYT Bestseller.
"How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You"
by The Oatmeal/Matthew Inman
"How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You"
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Amazon description: "If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at The Oatmeal."
Seriously, The Oatmeal is so funny. If that title alone didn't make you chortle, surely this one will:
"I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats"
by Francesco Marciuliano
"I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats"
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Amazon description: "Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry."
And finally, the cat butts. I came *this* close to dropping "Cat Butthole Coloring Book: Cat Butts for Cat Lovers" in here, but I couldn't quite stomach the imagery. This one is still hilarious, but a bit more palatable:
"Butts, Bleps and Beans Cat Coloring Book"
by Lizzie Preston
"Butts, Bleps and Beans Cat Coloring Book"
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Amazon description: "The fact that cats used to be worshipped as gods in ancient Egypt might have you think they always act regal and sophisticated. Well, you’d be wrong. Sometimes they just can’t help baring their bums, sticking out their tongues, or acting ridiculous. And we love them for it! Have fun coloring in all the amusingly quirky cats inside this artfully designed cat coloring book for adults."
(We have a cat who insists on sticking her butt in my face every time she climbs onto my lap. I try not to take it personally.)
Cat gifts for cat lovers should be as quirky and funny and unpredictable as cats themselves, and every one of these books fits that bill.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.