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Celebrity

Chrissy Teigen just learned her 2020 miscarriage was an abortion. She's not alone.

'I remember reading "spontaneous abortion" in my medical records after a very much wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It was devastating to read that.'

Chrissy Teigen; miscarriage; abortion; support

Chrissy Teigen learned her miscarriage was an abortion.

Having a miscarriage is a devastating experience for most people that have experienced one. No one goes into a wanted pregnancy expecting this sad outcome, and for Chrissy Teigen and others like her, having a miscarriage later in pregnancy is beyond what most people can imagine. But two years ago, Teigen lost her son Jack at 20 weeks, after a complicated pregnancy that landed her in the hospital. Eventually, it was determined that to save Teigen's life, the hospital would need to deliver the baby only halfway through her pregnancy. After some time processing the loss of her son, Teigen came to understand that what she had was, in fact, an abortion.


Since she shared the news recently at a summit called "A Day of Unreasonable Conversation," people have been lambasting the expectant mom wondering how she couldn't know. When I first heard about the criticism of her sharing her discovery, it knocked the wind out of me. One in four women experience a miscarriage and I happen to be one of them. Most people know someone who has experienced a miscarriage and they've hopefully treated them with care and compassion, but few people know what comes next for those of us who have miscarried babies.

After getting through the tears, depression and haze of having had this experience, insurance paperwork shows up in your mailbox or you happen to look over the discharge papers from the hospital and you read the words "spontaneous abortion" in the diagnosis section. If you've had a D&C (dilation and curettage) or D&E (dilation and evacuation), the paperwork may only read "abortion." It reads this way because it's a medical term, even though it's a term that has become emotionally charged.

There are women like Teigen who may have been told something much less harsh when they miscarried. Doctors do their best to not cause extra duress on the person losing a child, so sentences like "we have to induce" or "we have to deliver" are used when they can, instead of words like "terminate" or "abortion."

No matter the situation, oftentimes seeing the word "abortion" on your paperwork when the child you lost was very wanted can knock you off kilter. So many people have been where Teigen is, having the realization the procedure they had was classified as an abortion, even if their bodies completed the miscarriage on its own.

On a post about how Teigen may not have realized she had an abortion, hundreds of people shared their stories about learning what was written in their charts. One commenter, Jennifer, wrote, "I remember reading 'habitual aborter' in my medical record. It was horrible and anxiety inducing. I had three miscarriages back to back while trying very hard to have a baby. I was dealing with a lot. I was not ready to read that in my records."

Another commenter, Julie, said "I remember reading 'spontaneous abortion' in my medical records after a very much wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It was devastating to read that. There's a reason doctors and nurses don't use that term with women going through that."

Stephanie shared, "I had a D&E because I was bleeding so bad they were afraid I was going to bleed to death. Heartbeat was gone. 3 weeks later I opened the mail and opened up a report with the word ABORTION on it. I screamed and cried for two hours."

The comments go on and on full of people who had no idea what they had was considered an abortion. It's heartbreaking to know Teigen is facing such harsh criticism over her discovery. No one wants to become one in four and no one wants their experience invalidated by people who have never experienced the pain.

Medical terminology doesn't care about the political atmosphere. It doesn't care about how emotionally charged people get around seeing or hearing the word. Medical terminology is there so other doctors and insurance carriers know what's going on and doctors do their best to shield grieving parents from terms that may make things worse.

Teigen may never see the comments people leave, but family and friends will. I don't know if there will ever be a day where the word abortion doesn't elicit such a visceral reaction from people, but education around how the word is used could be a start.

Kristen Bell announces This Saves Lives new partnership with Upworthy.

True

Every day, Upworthy shares stories that spotlight the very best of humanity. But if there’s one cause that unites us all, it’s solving child hunger.

In a recent poll of our followers, we found that child hunger is the issue they care about most. So today, we’re doing something about it. We’ve joined forces with humanitarian snack brand This Saves Lives to end child hunger.

This Saves Lives co-founder, actress Kristen Bell.

This Saves Lives was founded in 2013 with the goal of ending early childhood severe acute malnutrition. Its solution is simple, for every snack you purchase, they give life-saving food to a child in need. This Saves Lives has already donated over 30 million packets of lifesaving food in Haiti, Guatemala, Kenya and beyond. We hope our new partnership works to feed millions more.

“Will you join us? It’s easy and delicious.” — Kristen Bell.

Join us and explore delicious snacks that give back at thissaveslives.com/doinggoodtogether.

Family

11 things people don't tell you about growing up with an alcoholic parent

My dad was an addict, and growing up with him taught me a lot.

via Ashley Tieperman

Ashley Tieperman and her father.

This article originally appeared on 04.27.16


There was never just one moment in my family when we “found out" that my dad was an addict.

I think I always knew, but I never saw him actually drinking. Usually, he downed a fifth of vodka before he came home from work or hid tiny bottles in the garage and bathroom cabinets.

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Sponsored

This is the most important van in NYC… and it’s full of socks.

How can socks make such a huge difference? You'd be surprised.

all photos provided by Coalition for The Homeless

Every night, the van delivers nourishment in all kinds of ways to those who need it most

True

Homelessness in New York City has reached its highest levels since the Great Depression of the 1930s. Over 50,000 people sleep each night in a shelter, while thousands of others rely on city streets, the subway system and other public locations as spaces to rest.

That’s why this meal (and sock) delivery van is an effective resource for providing aid to those experiencing homelessness in New York City.

Every night of the year, from 7pm to 9:30, the Coalition for the Homeless drives a small fleet of vans to over 25 stops throughout upper and lower Manhattan and in the Bronx. At each stop, adults and families in need can receive a warm meal, a welcoming smile from volunteers, and a fresh, comfy new pair of Bombas socks. Socks may be even more important than you think.

Bombas was founded in 2013 after the discovery that socks were the #1 most requested clothing item at homeless shelters.

Access to fresh, clean socks is often limited for individuals experiencing homelessness—whether someone is living on the street and walking for much of the day, or is unstably housed without reliable access to laundry or storage. And for individuals experiencing or at risk of homelessness —expenses might need to be prioritized for more critical needs like food, medication, school supplies, or gas. Used socks can’t be donated to shelters for hygienic reasons, making this important item even more difficult to supply to those who need it the most.

Bombas offers its consumers durable, long-lasting and comfortable socks, and for every pair of Bombas socks purchased, an additional pair of specially-designed socks is donated to organizations supporting those in need, like Coalition for the Homeless. What started out as a simple collaboration with a few organizations and nonprofits to help individuals without housing security has quickly become a bona fide giving movement. Bombas now has approximately 3,500 Giving Partners nationwide.

Though every individual’s experience is unique, there can frequently be an inherent lack of trust of institutions that want to help—making a solution even more challenging to achieve. “I’ve had people reach out when I’m handing them a pair of socks and their hands are shaking and they’re looking around, and they’re wondering ‘why is this person being nice to me?’” Robbi Montoya—director at Dorothy Day House, another Giving Partner—told Bombas.

Donations like socks are a small way to create connection. And they can quickly become something much bigger. Right now over 1,000 people receive clothing and warm food every night, rain or shine, from a Coalition for the Homeless van. That bit of consistent kindness during a time of struggle can help offer the feeling of true support. This type of encouragement is often crucial for organizations to help those take the next difficult steps towards stability.

This philosophy helped Bombas and its abundance of Giving Partners extend their reach beyond New York City. Over 75 million clothing items have been donated to those who need it the most across all 50 states. Over the years Bombas has accumulated all kinds of valuable statistics, information, and highlights from Giving Partners similar to the Coalition for the Homeless vans and Dorothy Day House, which can be found in the Bombas Impact Report.

In the Impact Report, you’ll also find out how to get involved—whether it’s purchasing a pair of Bombas socks to get another item donated, joining a volunteer group, or shifting the conversation around homelessness to prioritize compassion and humanity.

To find out more, visit BeeBetter.com.

Science

Help protect our waterways from contamination with these ingenious wet wipe alternatives

Pristine Cleansing Sprays can help wipe away your environmental worries.

With a rapidly changing climate, protecting our waterways has never been so important. Not only are they some of our most beautiful natural areas, they also offer tons of amazing recreation opportunities. Who doesn’t love a summer day down by the river?

With ever increasing amounts of pollutants, single-use plastics, and personal cleansing wipes making their way into our waterways, our planet’s natural bodies of water face threats of contamination. Wet wipes are especially harmful since many are made with plastic fibers that prevent them from breaking down in plumbing and sewer systems when flushed down the toilet - even those labeled as “flushable” still don’t always break down as required. These flushed wipes can bond together to create giant masses called “fatbergs” (like this giant one found in Maryland), which clog sewer systems and cause raw sewage overflows into our waterways. This major problem affects both wildlife and drinking water sources.

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A 6-year-old and his dad shared a moment of emotional regulation after a toddler meltdown.

Anyone who has parented a spirited "threenager" knows how hard handling toddler tantrums can be. Parents often joke about our wee ones throwing down, because laughter is sometimes the only way to cope. But in reality, it can be extremely disturbing and distressing for the entire household when a family member carries on in a way that feels—or truly is—out of control.

Major tantrums can be especially hard for parents who didn't have good parenting examples themselves. It takes superhuman patience to be the parents we want to be some days, and none of us does it perfectly all the time. When a child is screaming and crying over something irrational and nothing seems to be working to get them to stop, exhausted parents can lose their cool and respond in ways they normally wouldn't.

That's one reason a TikTok video of a father and son captured in the aftermath of an epic toddler tantrum has caught people's attention. Many of us have been in the dad's shoes before, frazzled and shaken by the relentlessness and intensity of a 3-year-old's meltdown. And many of us have been in the son's shoes as well, witnessing a younger sibling's insanity and our parents' struggle to manage the situation.

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