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Best CBD for dogs: 5 CBD oils and CBD dog treats to help your pup relax

Top 5 CBD oils and treats to help your dog relax: Expert picks for a calm pup.

Best CBD for dogs: 5 CBD oils and CBD dog treats to help your pup relax

If your dog is often anxious or nervous, the best CBD for dogs may help it relax. CBD is a natural substance found in hemp, with many potential health benefits. Humans have long used it to manage anxiety, stress, and pain. More recently, CBD has become a common remedy for dogs, too. Some owners give their dogs CBD before stressful vet visits, and others give their pups a daily dose to keep them calm and content.

If you're interested in giving your dog CBD oil, it's important to make sure you buy from a reputable company. The best brands make CBD oil specifically for dogs. They carefully source their ingredients and formulate their pet CBD oil to be effective, well-absorbed, and enjoyable. So, what brands best fit this mold? Here are five top products we recommend you consider.

Best CBD Products for Dogs

  1. Best CBD Oil Overall: CBDfx CBD Oil for Dogs
  2. Best Full Spectrum Hemp Extract CBD for Stressful Experiences: R&R Multifunctional CBD Dog Chews
  3. Best CBD Hemp Oil Chews for Joint Support: Chou2 Pharma Comfort
  4. Best Full Spectrum Hemp Extract CBD Soft Chews for Anxious Dogs: Aspen Green Calm Organic Full Spectrum CBD Soft Dog Chews
  5. Best CBD Oil for Picky Dogs: Soul CBD Oil for Pets

Potential Benefits of CBD for Dogs

  • Stress Relief: Dogs often become stressed due to changes in their environment or schedule. CBD oil may help dogs relax and adapt to these changes more quickly.
  • Fewer Anxiety Behaviors: Does your dog chew, pace, or bark excessively? These behaviors are often due to anxiety, and CBD oil can help manage them.
  • Pain Management: In addition to relieving anxiety, CBD may also help relieve pain. It's quite effective for dogs with joint pain due to arthritis or other conditions.
  • Calmer Digestion: Dogs who experience frequent diarrhea and gassiness may benefit from CBD oil. It can help relieve inflammation throughout the digestive tract, leading to fewer symptoms.

Best CBD Products for Dogs

1. Best CBD Oil Overall: CBDfx CBD Oil for Dogs


How Well It Works:

CBDfx Pet Tincture is a broad-spectrum CBD oil with a potent bacon flavor that dogs love. Although it is made for dogs, this CBD oil is made with human-grade ingredients. Plus, despite its bacon flavor, it is entirely vegan. CBDfx has this and its other pet CBD products medically reviewed by a veterinarian so you can have confidence in its safety and effectiveness.

Pet owners find that their dogs seem calmer and less nervous within an hour of being given this CBD oil. Some customers occasionally give their dogs this CBD oil, such as before a stressful vet visit or fireworks show. Others give it to their dog once or twice a day to manage ongoing anxiety. Reviewers say they notice their dogs barking and chewing less after a few days of consistently using this CBD oil.

CBDfx Pet Tincture can also be used for dogs with pain or neurological conditions. Owners of arthritic dogs often find their pups seem more energetic and agile after being given this broad-spectrum CBD oil for a few days.

CBDfx is a leader in the CBD industry, putting care into their products. This CBD oil for dogs is not only made in the U.S. but has also been lab-tested and found to be solvent-free.

Pros:

  • Vegan and Cruelty-Free
  • Lab-tested and solvent-free
  • Medically reviewed by a veterinarian
  • Made with human-grade ingredients derived from the hemp plant

Cons:

  • Only available in one flavor

Specs:

  • CBD type: Broad spectrum CBD
  • Size: 30 mL per bottle
  • Strength: 250 mg, 500 mg, 1000 mg, or 2000 mg CBD per bottle
  • Flavor(s): Bacon

Learn more about CBDfx CBD Oil for Dogs today.


2. Best Full Spectrum Hemp Extract CBD for Stressful Experiences: R&R Multifunctional CBD Dog Chews


How Well It Works:

For dogs who struggle with stressful experiences, we recommend trying R&R Multifunctional CBD Dog Chews. These full-spectrum hemp extract CBD chews contain 5 mg CBD apiece. The recommended serving is 1 chew for dogs weighing 1-25 pounds and 2 chews for dogs weighing 26+ pounds. Chews are very convenient when your dog is already anxious and on edge. Feeding them CBD dog treats is often easier than administering liquid CBD oil.

Since R&R Multifunctional Dog Chews are made with full-spectrum CBD, they contain not just CBD but also traces of CBC, CBN, and CBG. These other cannabinoids have their own relaxing and pain-relieving properties and also amplify the effects of CBD. So, your dog will get plenty of relief from these chews. Many customers find their dogs appear calmer and less worried within 30 minutes of taking a chew. Just like their “people products,” they do note that consistency is key for more visible benefits, and it may take up to 5 days of consistency to allow the compound to build and to begin noticing positive changes in your dog.

The other ingredients in R&R Multifunctional Dog Chews are healthy, whole-food ingredients, including sweet potato, flax seed, and chicken liver. These ingredients have their own health benefits, including healthy digestion and improved energy levels. R&R specially formulated them for a low refusal rate - meaning, it is one of the best tasting chews on the market that even the pickiest of dogs will like!

Reviewers say their dogs enjoy the flavor of these treats and eat them willingly. Many customers use these treats when their dogs are nervous about fireworks displays, guests in the home, or new pets. R&R Multifunctional CBD Dog Chews are lab-tested, and the results are available on the company's website. They hold nearly perfect 5-star reviews on their site and on Google for this product.

Pros:

  • Made with whole-food ingredients like chicken and sweet potato
  • Recommended for dogs of all sizes
  • High in antioxidants and minerals
  • Lab-test results available

Cons:

  • Due to their soft profile, a few chews may break apart during shipping in the jar

Specs:

  • CBD type: Full spectrum CBD
  • Size: 60 treats per jar
  • Strength: 5 mg CBD per treat
  • Flavor(s): Chicken

Learn more about R&R Multifunctional CBD Dog Chews today.


3. Best CBD Hemp Oil Chews for Joint Support: Chou2 Pharma Comfort


How Well It Works:

Chou2 (shu-tu) Pharma Comfort Hip & Joint Support is a CBD product designed specifically to support joint health and mobility in dogs. Using targeted cannabinoids, these soft chews provide CBD and CBG (and no THC), making them even more potent and effective than treats containing broad-spectrum CBD. They are also formulated with MSM, hyaluronic acid, and glucosamine, all of which are shown to help keep joints healthy, loose, and limber.

Owners of athletic dogs like using these chews to help keep their dog’s tendons, ligaments, and joints comfortable. These treats are also popular for older dogs starting to develop hip and joint concerns. Customers say their aging dogs become more interested in running and playing after a few days on these treats.

Chou2 Pharma Comfort Hip & Joint Support treats are designed for maximum absorption. The cannabinoid molecules are specially processed to be more bioavailable and better absorbed. These treats are also made with organic ingredients and are entirely grain-free and soy-free, making them suitable for dogs with sensitive digestive tracts.

These CBD dog treats are THC-free and veterinarian-approved. They have also been tested in a third-party lab, which gives pet owners confidence in their purity and potency. But still make sure to talk to your vet about any changes to your dog’s health routing and diet.

Pros:

  • Contains targeted, pure cannabinoid molecules
  • 0% THC
  • Contains MSM, hyaluronic acid, and glucosamine for joint health
  • Formulated for maximum bioavailability
  • Grain-free and soy-free
  • Veterinarian-approved

Cons:

  • Bag can be hard to reseal

Specs:

  • CBD type: blend of pure CBD and CBG
  • Size: 30 chews per bag
  • Strength: 5 mg CBD/CBG per chew
  • Flavor(s): Savory Beef

Learn more about Chou2 Pharma Comfort Hip and Joint Support today.


4. Best Full Spectrum Hemp Extract CBD Soft Chews for Anxious Dogs: Aspen Green Calm Organic Full Spectrum CBD Soft Dog Chews


How Well It Works:

We suggest Aspen Green Calm Organic Full Spectrum CBD Soft Dog Chews for dogs who pace, bark excessively, or show other signs of serious anxiety. These bacon-flavored chews are specifically formulated to be relaxing. Reviewers say they notice a positive change in their dogs' demeanor after consistently feeding these treats for a few days. Hyperactive dogs tend to calm down and spend more time resting.

Aspen Green Calm Organic Full Spectrum CBD Soft Dog Chews are USDA Organic. They're formulated by veterinarians, which gives us confidence in their safety and effectiveness. These soft chews are made with full-spectrum hemp extract. So, in addition to CBD, they contain plenty of beneficial terpenes and flavonoids from hemp. Organic chamomile and passion flower provide additional calming benefits.

Aspen Green makes these treats and their other products with hemp grown in Colorado. They use an eco-friendly CBD extraction method called Supercritical CO2 extraction, which produces very pure CBD oil. Their CBD products are all third-party lab-tested and confirmed free of mold, salmonella, and heavy metals. You can scan the QR code on any package to see the lab test results for that batch.

Pros:

  • Enhanced with calming chamomile and passion flower
  • Formulated by veterinarians
  • Lab-confirmed free from common contaminants
  • CBD extracted using eco-friendly, Supercritical CO2 method

Cons:

  • Large dogs need 4 chews per serving

Specs:

  • CBD type: Full spectrum CBD
  • Size: 60 soft chews
  • Strength: 10 mg CBD per chew
  • Flavor(s): Bacon

Learn more about Aspen Green Calm Organic Full Spectrum CBD Soft Dog Chews today.


5. Best CBD Oil for Picky Dogs: Soul CBD Oil for Pets


How Well It Works:

Soul CBD Oil for Pets is a great choice for dogs who turn up their noses at other CBD oil for dogs. It has a tempting bacon flavor, and many customers find their dogs lap it willingly from the dropper. This CBD oil for dogs is also made with CBD isolate, so it has far less hemp flavor than broad spectrum or full-spectrum CBD oil. If your dog is not a fan of the taste of hemp, they'll probably like this CBD oil for dogs.

Soul CBD Oil for Pets has a simple ingredient list. It's made with sunflower oil as a carrier oil. The product has been lab-tested to ensure it's safe and potent. Customers also like that it comes in a plastic bottle, so they don't have to worry about it breaking if their dog knocks it on the floor.

Some customers use this CBD oil for dogs who are anxious or overly hyperactive. They find that CBD oil helps their dogs stay calmer and more focused during training. Other customers give this CBD oil to their older dogs. They find it helps ease arthritis symptoms so their dogs can run and play more comfortably. The suggested dose is one dropper of oil, but customers with smaller dogs often find they only need half a dropper to enjoy substantial relief.

Pros:

  • Made with CBD isolate; little to no hemp taste
  • Simple ingredient list
  • Comes in a plastic bottle
  • Lab-tested

Cons:

  • Some customers find the bacon aroma unpleasant

Specs:

  • CBD type: CBD isolate
  • Size: 30 mL per bottle
  • Strength: 250 mg CBD per bottle
  • Flavor(s): Bacon

Learn more about Soul CBD Oil for Pets today.


How We Picked The Best CBD for Dogs

As more and more dog owners have discovered CBD, the market has become flooded with CBD dog treats and CBD oil for dogs. Unfortunately, not all products are of the same high quality. It's important to make sure the CBD products you give your dog are safe, pure, and effective. We were careful in our analysis to ensure we selected only the best CBD oils and treats to recommend in this article. Here are the main criteria we considered in our analysis.

Lab-Testing Protocols

CBD oil for dogs should always be lab-tested. This testing demonstrates two things. First, it can show that the CBD oil is free from contaminants like heavy metals and bacteria. Second, it shows how much CBD, THC, and other cannabinoids the CBD oil contains. Dogs are very sensitive to THC and cannot have very much of it. So, in this article, we only included CBD oil that has been lab-tested and found to have THC levels that are safe for dogs.

Ingredient Sources and Quality

The quality of the ingredients really matters in CBD oil for dogs. First, we made sure the hemp was sourced responsibly from producers within the U.S. We also looked into other ingredients. We often preferred products made with organic ingredients and those with short, simple ingredient lists.

Company Reputation

How long has the company been in business? While there are some promising newcomers on the market, we tended to prefer companies that have been in the CBD industry for a while. We also looked for companies with good guarantees and shipping policies.

Reviewer Opinions

We spent a lot of time reading reviews from dog owners who purchased and tried each product. Overall, we selected high-quality CBD oil products that reviewers consistently found effective. We also selected CBD oils that dog owners said their dogs ate willingly. After all, nobody wants to fight with their dog to get them to take CBD oil!

How to Find the Best CBD Oil for Your Dog

There are many great brands of CBD oil for dogs, but not every brand will be suitable for your dog. We suggest making a short list of CBD oils you're most interested in. Then, read more about each of those oils to determine how well it fits your pup's needs. Here are the key features and characteristics to focus on as you shop for CBD oil for dogs.

Strength or Potency

CBD oil for dogs comes in many different potencies. Some brands only contain 2 mg CBD per mL, while others contain 5 or 10 mg CBD per mL. You generally want a stronger product for larger dogs and a weaker product for smaller dogs. You may also want a stronger CBD oil for dogs if your pup has really serious anxiety or pain symptoms. Such dogs sometimes need a larger dose of CBD, and it's easier to give a big dose when you have a more concentrated CBD oil. CBD interacts with a dog’s endocannabinoid system, the same as yours, so stronger chews might have more anti-inflammatory properties.

Flavor

Some CBD oil for dogs is unflavored, while others are flavored, with flavors like beef, chicken, or bacon among the most common. If you plan on mixing your dog's CBD oil into their food, then an unflavored product may work best. On the other hand, if you plan to give your dog CBD oil straight from a dropper, you'll probably have better luck with a flavored product. Choose a flavor you already know your dog loves. For example, if they go crazy every time you give them bacon, then a bacon-flavored CBD oil for dogs is likely a good choice.

Other Active Ingredients

Some CBD oil for dogs contains other active ingredients, in addition to CBD. If a CBD product is intended mainly for joint pain relief, as some are, here are some additional ingredients you might see:

  • MSM: MSM is an anti-inflammatory agent that can help ease arthritis symptoms. It's a common ingredient in joint supplements for dogs and is sometimes added to CBD products for pets.
  • Glucosamine: Glucosamine is an amino acid that may help keep ligaments, tendons, and connective tissue healthy. It may also help prevent arthritis in active dogs and prevent it from worsening in older dogs.
  • Hyaluronic Acid: Hyaluronic acid is a natural fluid component that lubricates joints. It can help keep joints loose, limber, and pain-free.

If you're looking for a CBD oil with potentially calming benefits, here are some additional ingredients you might see:

  • Chamomile: Chamomile is a calming herb often used to promote sleep. If you give your dog CBD oil when you want it to rest, a formula with chamomile extract may be a good choice.
  • Passion Flower: Passion flower can help calm an anxious dog's mind. It is thought to lower the activity levels of brain cells involved in the anxious response. If you're using CBD to help calm anxious behaviors like pacing or panting, then a formula with passion flower should work well.
  • Valerian Root: Valerian root may be helpful for dogs who struggle with insomnia or anxiety. If you plan on giving your dog CBD in the evening, a formula with valerian may help them drift off peacefully.

Dietary Suitability

Look at the other inactive ingredients the CBD product contains, and make sure you pick one suitable for your dog's unique dietary needs. For instance, if your dog is allergic to chicken, choose CBD oil or CBD treats that do not contain chicken.

Most CBD oil for dogs has a relatively simple formula, so you should be able to find a good one, even for a dog with allergies or food sensitivities. However, this can be a little harder to achieve with CBD treats, which tend to contain more ingredients than CBD oils.

CBD Product Type

It's best to decide early on whether you'd prefer a CBD oil or CBD treats. This way, you can focus only on products in your chosen category.

Both CBD oils and CBD treats have their pros and cons.

CBD Oils

CBD oils make it easy to control your pup's amount of CBD. You draw the desired serving up into a dropper or syringe; you can always draw up a little less or a little more to suit your dog's needs. The ingredients for CBD oil are pretty simple, too. Most just contain CBD, a carrier oil, and some natural flavors. CBD oil is a good choice for dogs with food sensitivities and allergies.

One downfall of CBD oil for dogs is that it can be messy. If you knock the bottle over, it may spill. You may squirt a little on the floor or dribble it down your dog's neck. Some dogs also don't like the taste of CBD oil, which makes it harder to administer. You can mix it into your dog's food, but they may still turn up their nose if the oil has a more potent hemp scent.

CBD Treats

CBD treats are certainly easier for pets to consume than CBD oil for dogs. There's no measuring involved. Picky dogs also tend to like them better. However, if you have an older dog with poor teeth, pay close attention to the texture of the treats you choose. Your dog may be unable to chew crunchy hard treats, so you'll want to pick soft chews.

It is a little harder to control your dog's dose of CBD with treats than with oil. You can divide a treat in half or quarters, but this is hard to do precisely, and some treats do crumble when broken apart.

If you have a dog who is picky about treats, you may prefer to give them an unflavored CBD isolate oil instead of CBD treats. You can hide the CBD isolate oil in their wet food, and they're more likely to eat it.

Types of CBD Products for Dogs

CBD products for dogs can be divided into three different types based on the kind of CBD they contain. The three types are full-spectrum, broad-spectrum, and CBD isolate. Which type is best for your dog depends on the symptoms you're trying to treat, your dog's palate, and how sensitive your dog is to CBD and other cannabinoids. Here's a closer look at each CBD product type and their differences.

Full-Spectrum CBD

When CBD is extracted from hemp, several other compounds come along with it. Most of these compounds are other cannabinoids, like THC and CBN. Others are terpenes, aromatic compounds that give hemp its scent. Some common terpenes you may have heard of include pinene and limonene. This hemp extract also contains flavonoids, antioxidants, and various other beneficial compounds.

This total substance extracted from a hemp plant is called full-spectrum hemp extract. If it is added as-is to a carrier oil, you get full-spectrum CBD oil.

Full-spectrum CBD oil is the most potent type of CBD. There are two reasons for this. First, many of the other compounds in full-spectrum CBD, such as terpenes and cannabinoids, may have their own calming and pain-relieving benefits. Second, some of these compounds interact with CBD and enhance its effects.

So, if your dog has really serious anxiety or pain symptoms, a full-spectrum CBD oil is likely to offer them the most health benefits. The downside to full spectrum products is that they have a really strong hemp aroma due to their high terpene content. This can be off-putting to some dogs. They also contain traces of THC.

CBD oil for dogs has presumably been tested to ensure the amount of THC it contains is safe. However, if your dog consumes more full-spectrum oil than intended, they could end up ingesting more THC than is safe. This can lead to THC toxicity, the symptoms of which include nausea, lethargy, and seizures.

Broad Spectrum CBD

Broad-spectrum CBD is another potent option for dogs that may need a stronger CBD option. This type of CBD also contains terpenes, other cannabinoids, and flavonoids from hemp. However, any traces of THC that were found in the hemp extract have been removed. Broad-spectrum CBD is essentially full-spectrum CBD that has had the THC removed.

Broad-spectrum CBD products still work very well for anxiety and pain in dogs. They may not make your dog quite as tired and relaxed since they don't contain any THC.

You can also expect broad-spectrum CBD products to have a strong hemp aroma. So, they may be off-putting to pickier dogs. However, they can be a good choice if you're worried about your dog breaking into their treats or eating more than recommended. You won't have to worry about them accidentally consuming too much THC.

CBD Isolate

CBD isolate is quite different from full-spectrum or broad-spectrum CBD. All CBD isolate contains is CBD. It contains no other terpenes, cannabinoids, flavonoids, or antioxidants.

Pet CBD oil made with CBD isolate can certainly be effective in managing anxiety, pain, and other symptoms. However, since your dog will only be getting CBD and no other active compounds, you may need to use more of it to get the relief you seek.

One major benefit of CBD isolate is that it has barely any hemp scent or flavor. So, picky dogs who turn up their noses at broad-spectrum and full-spectrum pet CBD oil will often eat CBD isolate products willingly. Some of the best CBD brands offer CBD isolate products that taste like bacon, chicken, or beef. If you're buying CBD oil for a pup with a particular palate, this is usually a good place to start.

FAQs

Is CBD safe for dogs?

CBD is safe for dogs as long as the product you're giving your dog does not contain any contaminants and is low enough in THC to be safe for dogs.

CBD itself won't harm your dog and is unlikely to cause serious side effects. Sometimes, dogs become a bit drowsy after taking CBD, and they may experience some mild dry mouth that causes them to drink more than normal, but these effects wear off when the CBD wears off within a few hours.

To make sure the CBD hemp oil you buy is free from contaminants, look at the lab test results. They should show that the CBD oil is free from heavy metals, mold spores, bacteria, and pesticide residues. The best CBD brands all have their CBD dog health products lab-tested. If a product has yet to be lab-tested, don't buy it.

How do I give my dog CBD?

If you are giving your dog CBD treats, check the back of the bag to see how many treats your dog should have based on their weight. Then, give your dog the suggested number of treats. Most dogs will willingly eat CBD chews; just watch to make sure your pup does not hide the treat in the couch or drop it on the floor.

Giving your dog CBD oil is harder than giving them CBD chews. First, you need to decide how much CBD oil to give your dog. Check the bottle for recommendations. Most CBD oil is formulated so that about 1mL of oil is a single serving. However, if you have a really small dog or a really large dog, you may need to give them a larger or smaller volume to reach the desired dose.

Once you've drawn up the desired amount of CBD oil into your syringe or dropper, there are two ways you can give it to your dog. The easiest option is usually to mix it into some wet food. Or, if your dog only eats dry food, you can dribble it carefully over their kibble. Just make sure the oil absorbs into the kibble nuggets and doesn't end up on the bottom of the bowl. The other way to give your dog CBD oil is to squirt it into their mouth. Use one hand to gently open their mouth and the other hand to deposit the CBD oil into their tongue. It helps to have someone else hold your dog while you do this.

What happens if I give my dog too much CBD?

What happens when you give your dog too much CBD depends on the type of CBD product they consume. If it is a CBD isolate product or a broad-spectrum CBD product, you don't have to worry. Due to the high dose of CBD, they will probably be really tired or drowsy for a while, but it will wear off within a few hours, and they should return to their normal behavior then.

If your dog consumed too much of a full-spectrum CBD product, then there may be cause for concern. Full-spectrum CBD products contain traces of THC. If your dog consumes more of these products than the suggested dose, they'll likely consume more THC than is safe. Dogs are really sensitive to THC, and when they consume too much of it, they can develop a number of symptoms such as:

  • Extreme fatigue and lethargy
  • Urinary incontinence
  • Drooling
  • Seizures
  • Vomiting
  • Dilated pupils

Most dogs recover from THC toxicity, but it is best for them to receive veterinary care to help manage the symptoms and prevent further consequences down the road. So, if you suspect your dog has consumed too much full-spectrum CBD or has otherwise consumed too much THC from any other source, contact your vet ASAP.

Can dogs have human CBD oil?

No, it is not a good idea to give your dog CBD oil or any other CBD product designed for humans. Many of these products are full-spectrum CBD products that contain more THC than is safe for dogs to consume. Dogs are far more sensitive to THC than humans. CBD products made for humans may also contain flavors, colors, or other additives that are unsafe for dogs or cause allergy symptoms in some dogs. Stick to CBD pet products only for your furry companion.

Is hemp seed oil the same thing as CBD oil for dogs?

No, hemp seed oil and CBD oil are two different products. CBD oil is extracted from the flowers and sometimes hemp leaves. It is a therapeutic substance or remedy usually given to dogs to ease pain or anxiety.

Hemp seed oil is pressed from the seeds of the hemp plant. It does have some health benefits because it is high in omega-3 fatty acids and other healthy fats. For instance, it may help reduce inflammation and reduce the risk of heart disease. Some hemp seed oil products for dogs promise these benefits, but they are not the same as CBD oil products for dogs.

Can you give a large dog CBD oil for small dogs?

Some brands offer different CBD oil formulas for dogs of different sizes. If you have a large dog and a small dog, you may not want to buy two separate formulas. Luckily, you don't have to.

Typically, the only difference between large dog and small dog products is the amount of CBD they contain. For example, CBD oil for large dogs may contain 10 mg of CBD per mL, whereas one for small dogs may contain 2 mg per mL. So, you can give your large dog a CBD product made for small dogs; you'll just have to give them a larger dose.

You can usually give a small dog a CBD product made for larger dogs, too. However, it can be harder to measure the dose precisely. If a large dog's dose of a certain oil is 1 mL, a small dog may only need 0.25 mL, which is a pretty small amount to measure. Ensure you have an accurate, well-marked syringe if you decide to go this route.

Find The Best CBD for Dogs Today!

CBD is a safe, effective remedy for dogs who struggle with anxiety, anxiety behaviors, pain, and even some neurological problems. There are many good brands available, but the five brands recommended in this article are true stand-outs in the industry. Read a little more about each one, and order the one you think will bring your dog the most relief. They're sure to thank you with a tail wag and maybe with an appreciative bark, too.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity

How do you get someone to open their minds to another perspective?

The diversity of humanity means people won't always see eye to eye, and psychology tells us that people tend to double down when their views are challenged. When people are so deeply entrenched in their own perspectives they're refusing to entertain other viewpoints, what do we do?

Frequently, what we do falls into the "understandable but ineffective" category. When we disagree with someone because their opinion is based on falsehoods or inaccurate information, we may try to pound them with facts and statistics. Unfortunately, research shows that generally doesn't work. We might try to find different ways to explain our stance using logic and reasoning, but that rarely makes a dent, either. So often, we're left wondering how on Earth this person arrived at their perspective, especially if they reject facts and logic.


According to Stanford researchers, turning that wondering into an actual question might be the key.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Questions are more effective than facts when it comes to disagreements.Photo credit: Canva

The power of "Tell me more."

Two studies examined how expressing interest in someone's view and asking them to elaborate on why they hold their opinion affected both parties engaged in a debate. They found that asking questions like, "Could you tell me more about that?” and ‘‘Why do you think that?" made the other person "view their debate counterpart more positively, behave more open-mindedly, and form more favorable inferences about other proponents of the counterpart’s views." Additionally, adding an expression of interest, such as, ‘‘But I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?” not only made the counterpart more open to other viewpoints, but the questioner themselves developed more favorable attitudes toward the opposing viewpoint.

In other words, genuinely striving to understand another person's perspective by being curious and asking them to say more about how they came to their conclusions may help bridge seemingly insurmountable divides.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Asking people to elaborate leads to more open-mindedness.Photo credit: Canva

Stanford isn't alone in these findings. A series of studies at the University of Haifa also found that high-quality listening helped lower people's prejudices, and that when people perceive a listener to be responsive, they tend to be more open-minded. Additionally, the perception that their attitude is the correct and valid one is reduced.

Why curiosity works

In some sense, these results may seem counterintuitive. We may assume that asking someone to elaborate on what they believe and why they believe it might just further entrench them in their views and opinions. But that's not what the research shows.

Dartmouth cognitive scientist Thalia Wheatley studies the role of curiosity in relationships and has found that being curious can help create consensus where there wasn't any before.

“[Curiosity] really creates common ground across brains, just by virtue of having the intellectual humility to say, ‘OK, I thought it was like this, but what do you think?’ And being willing to change your mind,” she said, according to the John Templeton Foundation.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Curiosity can help people get closer to consensus. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, there may be certain opinions and perspectives that are too abhorrent or inhumane to entertain with curious questions, so it's not like "tell me more" is always the solution to an intractable divide. But even those with whom we vehemently disagree or those whose views we find offensive may respond to curiosity with more open-mindedness and willingness to change their view than if we simply argue with them. And isn't that the whole point?

Sometimes what's effective doesn't always line up with our emotional reactions to a disagreement, so engaging with curiosity might take some practice. It may also require us to rethink what formats for public discourse are the most impactful. Is ranting in a TikTok video or a tweet conducive to this shift in how we engage others? Is one-on-one or small group, in-person discussion a better forum for curious engagement? These are important things to consider if our goal is not to merely state our case and make our voice heard but to actually help open people's minds and remain open-minded in our own lives as well.

Shitsuke, Japanese parenting, parenting, Japan, discipline. learning
Photo credit: Canva

Parents watch as their child uses a toothbrush.

When it comes to parenting, sometimes the simplest reframing of how you discipline can make all the difference. In a YouTube video, pediatric occupational therapist Emma Hubbard shares a tip she describes as the "Japanese rule that changes everything."

It's a method called "Shitsuke," which she explains literally translates to "discipline." She claims it's the "one simple rule that Japanese parents follow that helps create calm, respectful, and obedient children."


Hubbard makes it clear from the jump that although the word translates to "discipline," it doesn't carry the same meaning it does in Western culture. Instead, it's about getting ahead of behavioral issues rather than responding to them.

"It's really easy to fall into a cycle that looks something like this," she says. "We wait for our kids to act out, then we punish, lecture, or bargain with them. Shitsuke flips this completely."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She goes on to explain that Shitsuke strongly urges parents to nurture their children by modeling good behavior and giving clear, consistent instruction.

"It's based on the belief that children develop good manners and courtesy through instruction and practice, not through punishment or hoping they'll just figure it out," she says. "Instead of constantly putting out fires, Japanese parents prevent them by actively teaching the exact behaviors they want to see."

Hubbard shares three main principles of this method:

1. Model the behavior you want to see

It's actually quite simple. Hubbard explains, "Japanese parents understand that kids are observational learners. If you want a calm child, you must be calm. If you want a respectful child, you must be respectful, especially when you're frustrated. And if you don't want your child to scream when they're angry, then you should also try not to scream when you're angry."

2. Be consistent with clear rules

Studies show that children are less anxious when given clear instructions and predictable routines.

"The truth is, rules don't make children unhappy," Hubbard says. "In fact, having no clear rules is what makes them anxious and stressed. Think about it like this. Imagine if you went to work and your boss never told you what time to arrive, what your job was, or even when team meetings started. You'd be anxious, stressed, and confused all day. And that's exactly how your child feels without clear rules."

In an article for Psychology Today, Jenalee Doom, PhD, points out that "both children's and adults' brains love predictability. We can still get pleasure from unpredictable things like surprises, but in general, we feel safe and secure when we have predictable routines, and we find unpredictability to be highly stressful." She goes on to offer suggestions for helping children feel safe, such as keeping regular bedtimes and having meals together.

3. Learn to reframe "naughty" behavior into a learning experience

This is the game changer for many parents, and what Hubbard calls the most important part of the concept.

"This is the most important part of Shitsuke that completely changes everything," she says. "Instead of just saying 'Don't do that' or 'Stop being naughty,' Shitsuke teaches parents to ask one crucial question: 'What skill does my child need to learn here?'"

The clear genius behind this principle is that it takes mistakes (which are going to happen) and turns them into lessons.

"This shift in thinking changes everything because instead of punishing the behavior you don't want, you start actively teaching the skill that they're missing," she adds. "And that's when you see real, lasting obedience because your child actually knows how to behave well."

children, discipline, shitsuke, Japanese method of learning, lessons A young girl has a tantrum. Photo credit: Vinh Thang on Unsplash

Hubbard's YouTube video has nearly one million views and over one thousand comments, many of which add insightful thoughts to the conversation.

One commenter stressed the importance of being respectful:

"Something I will add: growing up in Japan, polite behavior was acknowledged and positively reinforced by nearly every adult I interacted with. Not just my teachers, but my pediatrician, my neighbors, the old lady who ran the corner tobacco store, my barber, etc. Saying 'good morning!' or 'thank you!' felt fantastic, because here you are a tiny child being respectfully greeted by big adults. As an adult, I now acknowledge kind American children I encounter with comments like 'thank you, that was very considerate' to pass it on, and I see them smile. I do not have children of my own, but I encourage everyone to notice the children who are trying their best and to thank them for it."

Another commenter backs up the claim that children often thrive when they have set rules:

"Rules don't make children unhappy. 100%. As a teacher, they're the ones who expect me to follow the rules and enforce the consequences all the time. Predictability makes kids happy."

This commenter discusses the value of the words parents use:

"Framing of messages are so important. For example, instead of saying, 'Don't forget…,' rather say, 'please remember.' Or, 'Don't pull the kitty's tail,' instead say, 'Please pet it gently.' Reframe the message from communicating with negatively charged words to positively charged words by telling them what you want them to do, not what you don't want them to do."

Popular

I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, gen x and gen z differences

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.


The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

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The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

 o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.


3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

comedian, comedy, jimmy carr, standup, philosophy, parenting, dads, fatherhood, family, kids

Comedian Jimmy Carr put the jokes aside and delivered a brilliant nugget of parenting advice mid-show.

Jimmy Carr is best known as a comedian, but he also has dyslexia and had extreme trouble reading and writing into his early teen years. Years later, he'd go on to graduate from Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge with degrees in social and political science and first class honors.

It's safe to say that, jokes aside, he's a pretty smart guy. And in Carr's standup routines, he's not afraid to set aside the gags for a few minutes and get serious about topics that he feels deserve proper attention.


At a recent show, Carr was performing crowd work—asking questions and bantering with the audience—when an audience member called out a poignant question.

"What's your advice for parents with toddlers?" a woman yelled out.

"Well, I mean, practical advice? You can half-ass it. Get an iPad, a Netflix subscription, and you're off to the...races. They'll be very... happy," he said. The crowd roared with laughter. But Carr wasn't done. "You want serious advice?" he asked the woman.

Seamlessly, he launched into his philosophy on parenting.

"Hard choices now, easy life later," he said to a round of applause from the crowd. "I bet you fucking love your kids, but you've also got to love who they could be. So it's kindness, isn't it? You want to be really kind to your children, but not just kind in the moment. In the moment, what do kids want? They want to watch TV, not read books. They want to eat junk food, not vegetables. If you give in to that, if you're kind in the moment, you've got fat, stupid kids. That's no good. You've got to be a little bit mean in the moment."

He then joked that this clip would become his own "famous last words," so to speak when his own kids get older and reveal what a terrible father he turned out to be.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Carr taps into a common debate in his performance here: When does gentle parenting become so gentle that it does kids a disservice?

Millennial and even Gen Z parents are "breaking generational cycles of harshness and emotional distance," writes Motherly. Baby Boomers were notoriously distant, often as a result of their own upbringing, and some experts say Millennials have perhaps overcorrected.

Gentle parenting preaches connection over correction and validating a child's feelings frequently. Research generally suggests this is a good approach, but it's a high-wire act that requires careful calibration. Otherwise, as Carr points out, you wind up letting kids do whatever they want in an effort to be kind and avoid hurting their feelings—an approach called permissive parenting. That ultimately doesn't serve them in the long-run.

He doesn't shy away from the fact that being "meaner" is hard, and far easier said than done. It's a good thing to care about your kid's happiness, which is why Carr's reframe of the approach is so brilliant. You're being kind to the person your child will one day be, by being a little bit "meaner" right now.

comedian, comedy, jimmy carr, standup, philosophy, parenting, dads, fatherhood, family, kids Jimmy Carr became a dad in 2019.Albin Olsson/Wikimedia Commons

Carr is often all jokes, but he's been known to get serious when it comes to parenting. Reports say that Carr has one son, Rockefeller, who was born in 2019.

At another recent show, a woman called out wondering how she should deal with the kids who were bullying her 11-year-old son. After several minutes of non-stop, chaotic, ridiculously silly jokes, Carr turned on a dime.

"Speaking as a parent... you cannot helicopter parent. You cannot pave the jungle. You can just teach him to get through it. It's a very tough thing. On the upside, your kid is being bullied. That's terrible, I imagine heartbreaking for you...But at least he's not the bully. Tell him from me, you can't have an easy life and a great character. You can't have both. It'll make him stronger and better and more compassionate in the future," Carr said.

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Carr's parenting advice videos have gone mega viral across social media and commenters can't believe how skillfully he can transition from jokes to solid gold words of wisdom.

"Jimmy can turn things on a sixpence from humour to compassion. He is a remarkable person."

"Just a brilliant intelligent empathetic chap."

"I do like how Jimmy can flip from the most savage come backs possible into full on philosopher in the most natural way."

"I love how this applies to essentially everything in life. Hard choices now. Easy life later. So simple, so true"

It shouldn't be a surprise that a comedian like Carr has such thoughtful takes on everything from mortality to parenting to life itself and happiness. Comedy is ultimately rooted in fundamental truths about the world. What's special about Carr is how he can turn off the funny filter and deliver that truth in its purest, most potent form when needed.

Parenting

Instead of a 'Sweet 16,' mom hosts 'Coming of Age Brunch' with adult mentors for her teen daughter

She calls it a "birthday tradition that will change your teenager's life."

sweet sixteen, birthday, birthday brunch, coming of age, young adulthood, parenting, parenting tip, parenting teens

A group of women raising glasses (left) A happy teen girl (right)

Turning sixteen is considered a milestone. It symbolizes the beginning of the transition from childhood to young adulthood, and the start of new privileges, responsibilities, and identities.

Many families celebrate this new chapter with some kind of “Sweet 16” ritual. Depending on one’s culture, it might go by a different name, such as a bar/bat mitzvah (when a boy/girl turns 13 in Jewish culture) or a quinceañera,, (when a girl turns 15 in Latin American culture). Each celebration involves slightly different traditions, but generally have the same intention of commemorating a child’s newfound maturity.


A mom who posts parenting tips under the handle of @simplyonpurpose recently shared her unique take on a “Sweet 16,” which she hails as “a birthday tradition that will change your teenager’s life.”

She calls it the “Coming of Age Brunch.”

Rather than having a birthday party with friends, this mom has her child choose a select group of adult mentors who have played a “special part” in the child’s life. These guests are asked to bring letters conveying, in their own words, “what it means to be a strong woman” and sharing special praise for the teen.

The reason is simple: “Children need a village during their adolescent years more than at any other time in their lives,” @simlyonpurpose wrote in her caption. This was a tradition that began with her eldest daughter, who is now 22. Doing it for now the third time, @simplyonpurpose feels confident that “every teenager needs this- a room full of adults that you admire praising you.”

It sounds lovely. Imagine if every girl had this kind of support as they entered an undeniably turbulent stage of life. Sure, maybe the hormonal fluctuations, body image issues, changing friend groups, relationship dramas, and social media challenges would still be there, but perhaps they wouldn’t be quite so all-consuming.

sweet sixteen, birthday, birthday brunch, coming of age, young adulthood, parenting, parenting tip, parenting teens A teen girl getting a hug.Photo credit: Canva

And to be clear, the OP clarified that this was not strictly a girls-only ritual, though she would tweak it slightly for a boy, featuring a “fire pit with roasted hotdogs and marshmallows” and male mentors to share words of wisdom and love.

This is great to hear as well, considering there have been a lot of conversations centered around how a lack of healthy mentors has led many young men to getting “red pilled,” or influenced by misogynistic and radicalized online forums that target lonely or vulnerable boys by offering a sense of belonging.

sweet sixteen, birthday, birthday brunch, coming of age, young adulthood, parenting, parenting tip, parenting teens A teen boy wearing headphones while looking at his phone. Photo credit: Canva

By and large, other parents were totally on board with a “Coming of Age Brunch.” Quite a few were excited to try it out for their own teens.

“This really resonates. 💗 I want to do something similar for my daughter as she turns 17," one person wrote.

"Teens don’t need more preaching. Instead they need trusted adults who model strong values, healthy boundaries, and long-term thinking. That kind of guidance sticks,” added another.

Another added, “I cannot even think of anything that could possibly be a better gift - you just cemented her village. How incredible!”

The proverb “It takes a village” is an extremely popular saying found in many cultures across the world, but it's lately accompanied with the lament that villages are not so easy to come by in the modern world. Maybe by creating new traditions like this, we are able to reclaim that sense of much-needed community. At the very least, young folks don’t have to feel so alone, and that in itself is a great thing.