upworthy
More

As a little girl, abuse made her ashamed of her body. Then she decided to dance.

The ballet world can be hard for dancers' relationships with their bodies. But for her, it saved her sense of herself.

Ophélia is a 16-year-old ballerina — and a survivor of sexual abuse.

She started ballet several years after her abuse ended and was amazed at how deeply dance healed her.

Through ballet, she rejected her abuser's shaming and reclaimed her body as her own sacred space. She even was able to feel comfortable doing partnered dance with a young man.

Now she travels around the world studying dance and advocates for victims of sexual violence in her home community.

Her story, in her own words, is below. It's long, but trust me. It's worth the read.

If you know of anyone who has struggled with body image or recovery from abuse of any kind — or who could just appreciate the healing power of dance — scroll to the bottom to share Ophélia's story.

It may be just the inspiration someone needs today.


Sexual Abuse, Body Image, and The Healing Power of Dance

by Ophélia Martin-Weber

Ballet requires dedication, strength, confidence, bravery, endurance, grace, hope, joy, passion, concentration, memory, self-esteem, flexibility, knowing who you are, critical analysis, adaptability, ability to learn quickly, pain tolerance, and eventually, really ugly feet. Sometimes, when I take a step back, I wonder why anyone would put themselves through this, especially girls today. You put on a leotard and tights that reveal your body shape and form completely, move around in front of others, and constantly have people tell how you are doing it wrong. Judgment, judgment, judgment. Rejection. Why would anyone put up with that?

But I know why. When I dance, I feel free.

I started dancing when I was 11 years old. It was all I wanted for my 11th birthday, and I promised my parents I would never ask for an MP3 player or iPhone or even a car ever again if I could start ballet classes. If they wouldn't put me in classes, because ballet is very expensive and I knew we didn't have the funds for real classes, I asked for ballet in a box, a video and books to follow, so I could teach myself. My parents decided that maybe they should make real ballet classes happen. Starting ballet at 11 is pretty late, so I was the tallest kid in my level 1 class. Most of the other students were 7 & 8 years old. I stuck out like an awkward sore thumb. Except, I loved it. Nine months later I went en pointe and a year after that I was invited to join my studio's Company Two. I really started to get serious about ballet. A secret hope began to bloom that maybe I could do ballet professionally. My instructors and my parents kept encouraging me, telling me that I had talent. Tall for my age, at the time, and all gangly arms and legs, ballet just felt right in my body. In a leotard and tights, when dancing, I was so oblivious of my technique, I just felt free. Being able to move in such a different way was liberating. The music, the movements, and the lack of fear were and still are my favorite things in the world.

I didn't use the mirror to watch myself. I didn't like to look in the mirror.

I still don't, honestly. Seeing myself made me uncomfortable. I thought I wasn't pretty, and I didn't look as graceful as I felt, but the studio mirror is one of the main tools a dancer has to work on their art. Eventually I had to face myself. It wasn't easy.

When I was 5, long before I was dancing, I went through a very traumatic experience that changed my family, changed me, and trapped me in a secret bondage. I became more aware of bad things in the world and terrified of just about everything in life as a result of the sexual assault I experienced at the hands of a family friend. A teenage boy whose family had been very close with my family repeatedly abused me before my parents found out and put a stop to it.

There's a lot I don't remember, but I do remember different scenes. Mostly I remember fear and shame. Shame was the primary tool the boy used to control me, telling me my parents wouldn't love me if they found out, that they would spank me, and that I deserved what he did to me. He threatened to hurt my family if I ever told. To this day, even with lots and lots of counseling, I still struggle with that fear and shame.

But, when I dance, I feel free.

This is me at my first pointe shoe fitting, 9 months after I started taking weekly ballet classes.

My 11-year-old self just wanted to dance because it was fun. What I didn't know was that ballet would also be healing. If I'm having a bad day, even if I don't want to go in the studio and dance, I almost always feel better when I do. On the dance floor, I'm distracted from whatever stress I'm dealing with at the time. It is just a one on one conversation with me, my teacher and my body. Even if I'm struggling with a specific technique or choreography, when I'm at the barre or in center, I don't have to focus on anything else but that moment with the music and my body. Frustration, fear, anger, I can squash them on the dance floor, sweat them out of my system, leap over them to music. I never imagined that it could so healing, sometimes dance feels as important to my vitality as breathing. Dance is my favorite therapy. I feel so alive and free when I dance, even with other people's steps.

You may not think that a sexual abuse survivor would find healing in putting on a leotard and displaying her body for others to judge but that's exactly what my journey has been.

Learning to trust my partners and feel comfortable dancing with young men, teen boys, has helped me develop a confidence in communicating what I am comfortable with. This past Christmas season as I danced the Dewdrop Fairy in The Nutcracker, my first full partnering role onstage, I had to deal with my insecurities regarding my body and trusting someone else to touch me. Communication is key in a ballet pas de deux. My partner patiently supported me until I was fully comfortable with our performance. Ballet has given me so many opportunities to address my insecurities and know who I really am. I'm not done growing, and I have a long way to go still, but any time I put on my slippers or pointe shoes I feel like I'm getting closer.

Because when I dance, I feel free.

Ballet is notorious for criticizing the bodies of dancers. There is a lot of pressure to be a certain body type. When my boobs began to really grow, I got scared that they would be too big for dance. As my hips widened a little bit and I was no longer just skinny arms and legs, I was nervous about being the wrong body type. This is still a fear for me, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get into a couple of the programs I auditioned for recently because of my body. Still, I am learning more and more to appreciate the strengths of my body, even as I discipline myself in training it, even as I am careful about how I fuel it. This body of mine can do amazing things. I have strong jumps that are powered by my thighs. While I didn't get into some programs, I did get into others and have new opportunities I never imagined. I have my teachers, training, and yes, even my body to thank for that.

Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies in ballet, there are politics, drama, blisters, muscle pain, injury, and sometimes fear and shame. I've moved studios four times in just five years of dance, recently losing my mentor due to politics, a loss that sent me into a month-long depression during a crucial audition season. Those are gifts, too, and I've learned how to fight through the hard stuff because the beauty and freedom I find within the art form is so fulfilling. I have moments where I consider walking away but I'm more me with ballet and I'm grateful my parents and others helped me get to the barre to remember that. There are hard times in life, times when we will bleed, times when we will be left, times when we will be injured and feel like we can't go on. I've learned how to go on thanks to ballet.

It has been five years since I started ballet in that weekly class where I stood a good head or two taller than everyone else. It has been ten and a half years since my sexual abuse when I became a very scared and timid little girl filled with shame, silenced into hiding my pain. Now, I speak out, I challenge myself and those around me to consider how our culture enables abuse. I am learning how not to live in fear and shame. Hopefully, I will reach my goal of becoming a professional ballerina, but either way, I will never stop dancing.

For when I dance, I am free.
From Your Site Articles
Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Education

Gen Z are becoming accountants and it's for reasons that might surprise you

In totally Gen Z style, it's for a good cause.

Images via Canva

Young accountant, goat farmer.

Look, there are certain jobs that aren't at the top of the "dream list." You don't often meet 14-year-olds who, when asked, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" answer: pencil pushers! But in a world of influencers and content creator wannabes, Gen Z (or at least some of them) is ready to get serious.

When many think of the Zoomer generation (born between 1997 and 2012), there are a few things that come to mind. These folks are characterized by wanting to make a difference in the world and leave it better than how they found it, but they're also not naïve. When it comes to practicality, Gen Z is all about making the most of the ever-changing world—especially the financial market.

According to an article by writer Preston Fore for Yahoo! Finance, the accountants from the Boomer generation (and there are millions of them) are retiring, leaving a huge gap. "The industry is facing a talent shortage crisis. While it’s been lamented as one of America's most boring jobs and headed down a path of extinction, Gen Z is realizing the six-figure career opportunity."

accountant, money, work, jobs, boomers, gen z, workforceSeason 8 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Smart thinking. But in typical Gen Z fashion, many are combining their logical desire for fail-safe employment with actually making the world a better place. One way is volunteering to help others with the VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) program—which helps provide free tax consultation to those in need. The IRS is working with a handful of universities to help aspiring accountants in college get their feet wet AND make a difference.

Fore notes the story of Alana Kelley, a third-year student at Oregon State University. She has already helped many with their taxes, saving them much-needed money in these trying times. "One was a goat farmer who had only a landline and no access to the Internet. Another was a young woman who was financially supporting her sister. Kelley was able to help them obtain a life-changing $6,000 back in refunds."

VITA has been around for over 50 years, and Gen Zers are genuinely making use of it. Fore shares, "Last year alone, an army of more than 280 CSUN students helped over 9,000 low-income taxpayers claim nearly $11 million in tax refunds and $3.6 million in tax credits—plus save them over $2 million in tax preparation fees."

taxes, calculation, accountants, money, finance jobsFiguring out our finances may be getting easier. Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Many Redditors are backing the idea. On the subreddit r/accounting, someone asks, "Gen Z is making accounting cool again?" As expected, a few commenters push back on the "again" part. A few more respond to the aforementioned article with suspicion, as though the IRS is paying for it. But one person defends it: "VITA was a very cool program for both audit and tax aspiring accounting student to join. Most of the successful accountants I've known joined VITA. It's also led by younger students these days, so it's even more well-known within the Gen-Z students group." Another got straight to the point: "We just want money and free time bro."

Accounting isn't the only occupation Gen Zers seem to be drawn to. As there are fewer guaranteed roads to success, some Zoomers are skipping traditional college altogether and instead training to become plumbers, electricians, and other vocations that don't need a hefty degree. An article for the New York Post cites a recent study showing that a lot of folks of the Gen Z generation were interested in blue-collar work. "The survey of 2,091 people aged 18 and over found that Gen Z was becoming the 'toolbelt generation' because of the shifting attitudes and soaring cost of a college education."

plumbers, trades, vocations, work, gen z Plumbing Plumber GIF by Family GuyGiphy

With higher tuition and way less of a safety-net, many are thinking long-term, and if they can find a way to make a positive impact at the same time, all the better.


From Your Site Articles
gen z
Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


From Your Site Articles
science
Motherhood

34-year-old mom learns how to ride a bike for the first time alongside her 6-year-old daughter

"I discovered that we’re never too old, too late, or too far gone to try something new."

Photo by KBO Bike on Unsplash

Mom learns how to ride a bike at 34 alongside her 6-year-old daughter.

Learning how to ride a bike is a huge milestone in childhood. Battling through the challenge of balance while pedaling and proper steering to find yourself cruising on a bike is an accomplishment to be celebrated. But not everyone can say they mastered bike riding young.

Instagrammer Sazan Hendrix (@sazan) opened up to her followers about her experience learning to ride a bike when she was 34 years old. The journey challenged her role as a mom, and how she pushed past her own ego about failure and embarrassment to accomplish her goal.

"One year ago, I learned how to ride a bike! Yup at 34, with my 6-year-old cheering me on (and teaching me, if we’re being honest ha)," she wrote in the post's caption. "I discovered that we’re never too old, too late, or too far gone to try something new. Consider this your sign. What is something you want to accomplish this year!? 🥳"

In the post, Hendrix shared that she had always been scared of riding a bike, but decided to conquer it when her six-year-old daughter Teeny decided she was ready how to learn. "Suddenly, I didn't want to just watch her do it. I wanted to go alongside her," she wrote.

So, she went for it. But it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. She struggled to learn, and that brought up an internal battle. "But I was so in my head. Every fall made me feel like a failure. I couldn't master it. Week after week, I practiced. And week after week, I got nowhere," she shared.

She continues to explain how her hardship challenged her not to give up just for herself, but also for her daughter. "I felt defeated. Embarrassed. I was moments away from giving up. But I couldn't because she was watching. So I had to keep going," she wrote. "And in the process of learning, we both fell...together. Scraped knees. Bruised egos. Wobbly starts. But I think watching me try, fail and get back up again quietly told her, 'You can too.'"

The story didn't go the way she thought. While she struggled to master riding, her daughter Teeny got it. And her daughter became her biggest cheerleader. "'Mommy, just watch me and copy my footsteps!' So I did. That same day, the day she mastered it...I humbly did too," she explained. "We rode side by side, our wheels spinning in sync, like a moment heaven had written just for us."

Hendrix goes on to describe how parents are, most times, the ones doing the teaching when it comes to their kids. But not so in this case. "My daughter taught me. She reminded me: you're never too young or too old to try something new, face a fear, or keep pedaling after you fall."

On another slide, she shares that since then, she has shared so many biking adventures with her family. The experience made her a better mom. "Best of all I get to carry this story in my pocket. Holding onto it for the days when my kids reach a mountain that feels too big. I'll get to say: 'Remember when Mom learned how to ride a bike at 34?'" she wrote.

The experience also healed Hendrix's inner child who struggled to believe she could learn to ride and made it so that her daughter Teeny got to meet the little girl inside her. "So here's your sign. Go try the thing. Pick up the hobby. Do it scared. Laugh while you learn. You're not too late. You're right on time," she ended the post.

Her vulnerable post had a huge impact on her followers.

"😭😭😭😭 I'm crying. I'm 34 and I still don’t know how to ride a bike, never was taught though I had one growing up. This is inspiring," one wrote.

Another added, "Saz, not you making me cry with this wholesome story about Teeny giving your inner child permission to learn something new. 🥹😭"

And another shared, "What a beautiful core memory that you both will always remember. 😭😭😭"

From Your Site Articles
bike
History (Education)

The mind-blowing engineering of a 13th century clock controlled entirely by water

Want to see a fountain with 12 water-spewing lions tell you what time it is?

Jebulon (Public domain)

Alhambra palace in Granada, Spain is an architectural masterpiece and engineering wonder.

Modern life is filled with so many incredible innovations, it's enough to make your head spin. But as we marvel over the latest technologies, it can be easy to forget that humans have been engineering and creating remarkable things for millennia.

The pyramids in Egypt. The Colosseum and the Parthenon. Teotihuacan and Machu Picchu. We can point to many famous ancient wonders that demonstrate the advancement of civilizations around the world, but some slightly newer architectural wonders also provide a glimpse into humanity's ability to figure things out.

Alhambra palace, fortress, water system, Spain, ancient technologyThe Alhambra sits atop a plateau overlooking Granada, Spain.Ввласенко

The Alhambra is a palace and fortress in Granada, Spain, that was built between 1238 and 1358 and was home to sultans of the Nasrid dynasty. A celebrated example of Islamic architecture, the Alhambra is now a tourist site, but in its early centuries, it helped Granada remain unconquered by Christian crusaders for far longer than the rest of Spain. Its massive complex sits atop a plateau, making it hard for invaders to breach its fortress walls.

But the Alhambra's beauty and defensive strength are only part of its allure. Visitors who walk through the grounds will notice something that seems unlikely considering the palace's flat location high above the river—water features galore.

The Alhambra has pools, baths, fountains, and gardens—and featured even more of them in its prime. But how? Via an intricate system of medieval pipes and channels and hydraulic engineering that enabled not only pools and baths, but heated flooring, steam rooms, and perhaps even an incredible water-operated clock.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The Fuente de los Leones (Fountain of Lions) is a central feature of the palace. Just looking at it you wouldn't imagine it was a clock, but there is a serious hypothesis that it was and that it ran completely on water.

A circular fountain sits in its center surrounded by 12 lion statues facing outward. The clock hypothesis posits that the original fountain pool drained and filled on a 12-hour cycle, with 12 holes in the pool positioned in a graduating spiral, each one connected by a pipe to a lion's mouth. As a central pipe filled the fountain pool, the water reached each hole on an hourly basis, making water pour out from the corresponding lions' mouths. When water poured from the first lion, it was 1:00, when it poured from the first and second lion, it was 2:00, and so forth. Once the pool filled and reached 12:00, a syphoning mechanism triggered by the height of the water caused the pool to drain, and the cycle began all over again.

(To see how this clock and water system would have worked in action, see minute 4:56 in the Primal Space video above.)

fountain of lions, lion water clock, fuente de los leones, the alhambra, engineeringFountain of the Lions at the Alhambra, GranadaJebulon (Public Domain)

A restoration project in the early 2000s to mid 2010s brought the fountain back to life, but not as a clock. The fountain has been changed many times over the centuries, and no one knows for sure what the original design was.

The fountain is just one part of the whole elaborate Alhambra water network. Water from the fountain flowed out to four channels that led to spa-like bathing rooms, which featured a cold plunge, warm pools, and heated floors thanks to water flowing through copper stoves underground. They even had steam release pipes to create a steam room.

baths inside the Alcazaba, Alhambra, granada, spain, waterworks Remains of baths inside the Alhambra AlcazabaR Prazeres

But one of the other impressive engineering feats of the Alhambra water system was pushing water up a six-meter wall. Without modern water pressure technology, how did they do it? The Primal Space video above shows a kind of whirlpool pump in which a vortex adds air to the water, making it lighter and easier to push up the pipe vertically. However, the illustration in the video appears to be missing an outlet pipe at the bottom that a diagram from "The Mastery in Hydraulic Techniques for Water Supply at the Alhambra" published in The Journal of Islamic Studies shows, which makes the mechanics seem more plausible.

At the time, Alhambra had of the most sophisticated hydraulic networks in the world, bringing water from the river nearly a kilometer below the site and keeping it flowing through the property in gravity-defying ways. What an incredible feat of engineering and ingenuity.

From Your Site Articles
history
Trending Stories