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Eye-opening video shows dads and their daughters get real about feminism

"What lessons have you learned by bringing a daughter into the world?"

viral video, parenting, social norms, education, role models
Image pulled from YouTube video.

Dads play a game with their daughters and get real about feminism.

"As the father of a daughter..."

So begins many a bad take these days by men outraged over news stories about sexual assault, harassment, or inequality.

While it's good to be outraged by those things, "As the father of a daughter" holds some troubling implications: first, that it's somehow difficult for them to see women as people deserving of fair treatment without having raised one. And second, that just having a daughter is apparently enough to make them an expert on women's issues.

Photographers Marzia Messina and Sham Hinchey wanted to challenge dads to really sit down and think about what feminism means and why it matters.

Inspired by talks with their own daughter, Penelope, they launched a project called "Dear Daughters" in which they recruited 22 men and their daughters, ages 8 to 11, to sit down and have frank conversations about equality.

Using a simple board game designed by Messina and Penelope, the dads and daughters took turns drawing question cards that prompted discussions.

The cards asked things like "How do you see yourself and what will you be doing when you're 25?" and "What lessons have you learned by bringing a daughter into the world?"

"The first questions were very soft, but as the game progressed they became more challenging and the couples really had to work hard and help each other," Messina says in an email.

The girls started with light musings about their future: "I'm going to be a social media influencer (when I'm 25)" one girl told her dad. Another said she "wouldn't necessarily be 'drinking drugs' or anything." Another told her dad she wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up.

From there, the daughters were asked to name a woman they admired: Michelle Obama, Jessie Graff (the first female Ninja Warrior champion), Venus and Serena Williams, and Hillary Clinton were all popular answers.

fathers, daughters, educational games, women's rights

A father attempts to see the world through his daughters' eyes.

Image pulled from YouTube video.

Soon the tables turned on the dads, who were asked to come up with a slogan for a hypothetical women's rights march.

With help from their daughters, they came up with some pretty solid taglines.

"We want equal rights and we want them now," one dad suggested. "She persisted," added another, referencing his admiration for Elizabeth Warren. "Go forward, be brave. That would be mine," said another.

(OK, so the actual slogans could use some workshopping.)

Watching the wheels turn in the dads' heads as they attempted to distill and encapsulate the essence of feminism in only a few words, is fascinating. You can tell it's something they thought they understood but had never been forced to articulate before.

Then: "What lessons have you learned by bringing a daughter into the world?"

A few of the men pondered how being a parent in general changes you. But others seemed heavily affected by the exercise of taking the time to see the world through their daughters' eyes — waking them up to problems that all women experience, not just their daughters.

"I never thought about the hate speech," said one of the dads. "There are a whole lot of words for women, but there aren't a lot of words to describe the same behavior in men."

"(I learned) just how few women there are in similar positions as there are men," said another, observing that there has never been a female president or a woman on the moon.

"It makes you wonder, can you change the world?" one of the fathers said. "And can you strengthen and prepare your daughter to be strong enough for the challenges in that world?"

At the end of the game, each pair posed for a portrait, with the hopes that these conversations would strengthen their relationships and help them communicate more openly about all kinds of important issues in the future.

feminism, parenting, gender roles, education, community

Dad has a conversation with his daughter about feminism.

Image pulled from YouTube video.


These discussions are a reminder that being a dad doesn't mean men suddenly inherently understand the importance of feminism — and that their support for gender equality has to extend beyond their own offspring.

That understanding and support comes only from effort, thought, and open conversation.

The same goes for all men. Having a wife, girlfriend, mother, or female friend doesn't give you a pass; it doesn't mean you don't have to put in the work to understand the world through a woman's eyes. Nor should you only begin caring about gender equality once you have women in your life who you care about. Women are people, whether you personally know them or not.


The power of "Dear Daughters" doesn't come from the fact that these men are fathers. It comes from the fact that many of them are examining inequality in the world for perhaps the first time — and hopefully not for the last time.

"It has inspired women to get their husbands involved in conversations which they inherently thought were reserved only for the females of the house."

Messina and Hinchey reiterated that being a father to daughters does not make a man a feminist, but that conversations like the one sparked in "Dear Daughters" can go a long way toward that goal.

Even more importantly, perhaps, they hope men will start having similar conversations about feminism with their sons, and/or with other men, unprompted by anything but a genuine desire to make the world a better place.

Watch the full video of the project below:


This article originally appeared on 3.1.17


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Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

via Keswick Mountain Rescue Team/Instagram, Cat Protection/Youtube

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

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In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

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The 3-step Harvard conversation trick that makes shy people more likable

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

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Parent coach shares the ‘do-over’ trick to stop yourself from yelling at your kids

There's always have a second chance to get it right.

via Canva/Photos

An angry mom yelling at her teenage daughter.

A new video by certified parenting coach Destini Ann is refreshing to many parents who have overreacted once or twice or, most likely, dozens of times while in the line of duty. She believes it’s acceptable to stop when you’ve lost control and call a do-over. Although that may seem hard for some parents, it’s all about catching yourself in the act.

Destini says the key is having the self-awareness to know that once you realize you’ve made a mistake, you can quickly pop out of that moment before making a regrettable parenting decision. It’s a powerful tool, especially when you get a bad night’s sleep and wake up to your kid spilling Cheerios on the couch.

In a video with over 14,000 views, Destini says the powerful phrase we all need to keep in our hip pockets is: “Let me try that again."

How to stop yelling at my kids

“When we are stuck in these parenting cycles that we’re trying to get out of, your awareness might catch you doing the inappropriate behavior. But for some of us, that brings on shame and it kind of makes it even harder in the moment to stop,” Destini says. “Get out of your head about ‘Oh my goodness, I can’t fix the moment.’ Guess what? You’re right! The moment has already passed. You yelled. ‘Let me try that again’ allows you to create another moment. So when you walk in the room and the clothes are beside the hamper instead of in the hamper and you start going off, when that signal pops in your head that you’re doing too much, you can give yourself a redo!”

@destini.ann

When you’re jumping to conclusions before asking questions… “let me try that again.” When you led with sarcasm instead of assertiveness… “let me try that again” When “who do you think you’re talking to, I’m not the one” rolled off your tongue EFFORTLESSLY… “let me try that again” “Let me try that again” gives you permission to make mistakes WITHOUT the shame that makes you either escalate or retreat without setting the expectation, boundary or standard. It lets you show up to parenting understanding that while you’re healing, you can still have a script and system that allows you to more easily return to integrity and create positive moments after mistakes. These kinds repetitious scripts are a path of least resistance. They build my awareness and accountability muscles💪🏾 . I don’t have to turn it into a huge moment, I don’t have to come up with some creative “fix” or walk away and go regulate. I can say the same thing I said last time and signal my brain to DO IT OVER.

Destini notes that we may feel a moment of shame for either approaching the situation with a little too much gusto or breaking character as a parent and reversing course mid-scream. But there’s nothing wrong with that. You and your family will appreciate the brief moment of reflection and the redirect.

“‘My bad. Let me try that again. Mommy’s doing too much. Let’s put the clothes in the hamper, OK?” doesn’t that sound a lot better than kicking yourself for the next few hours for blowing your top and feeling like a terrible parent?

Is it bad to yell at my kids?

It can also stop a lot of trouble before it begins. According to Better Help, yelling at a child can create problems for them in the long and short term. “In the short term, a child who is on the receiving end of yelling may become aggressive, anxious, and withdrawn. In the long term, as a result of childhood emotional abuse, they may develop anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and a negative view of themselves,” an article reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW, states.



The video was a hit with Destini’s followers, who feel that every parent deserves a redo. "I love this approach. I absolutely own up each time I need an attitude adjustment. I want to be an example to my children that we can change course and acknowledge when we’re not behaving nicely," Laura wrote in the comments. "Thank you! I feel so stuck and so guilty when I don’t keep it together. This is something I know I can do," Gioia wrote.

"I needed this!!!!! That's the worst. I do not feel like I can have a redo! Thank you," Alicia wrote.

There is no such thing as perfect parents; sooner or later, we will all fall short of our expectations. The key is how you handle it when it happens. You can get carried away in a negative cycle of yelling and feeling bad for yourself. Or, be conscious that at any time, you can stop and say, “Let me try that again.” It’ll come in handy next time you walk into your kid’s bedroom and see they’ve drawn Pokémon characters on the wall in Sharpie.

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The 17 harsh truths about aging that people were never 'prepared' for

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down."

via Kindel Media/Pexels

A woman contemplating aging

Many of us feel invincible when we are young, believing we can control the aging process so that we’ll always stay forever young, as Bob Dylan once sang. But there’s a moment when everyone realizes aging is an inevitable process and that, eventually, we will have to deal with a slow decline in our physical and, quite possibly, mental capabilities.

This realization and understanding that we won’t be here forever can profoundly change one’s perspective on life. Even though aging is inevitable, studies show how we think about the process can significantly impact our longevity. People with a positive view of aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without.

Things happen as we age that are impossible to describe to younger people. However, a group of Redditors did an excellent job of explaining the truths about aging that they were not “prepared” for in a recent thread that made a lot of people feel seen. A user named sofiagympixie asked the AskReddit forum, “What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?” and it received over 2,700 responses.

A big takeaway is that many people feel like they stop mentally aging at a certain point, usually in their late 20s. Still, the continued physical aging they experience makes them feel like they cannot relate to the person in the mirror.



Here are 17 of the most profound responses to the question: What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?

1. There is an end

"You start to realize the older you get that the end is closer than the beginning and you still feel like you have so much more to do."

"That moment where you start to get a sense that there is an end."

2. It takes energy to keep everything afloat

"No one prepared me for how much energy and time it takes to maintain everything—like health, relationships, and just staying organized. It’s way more work than I expected!"

3. Mind/body detachment

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down. You still feel like the same person you’ve always been, but suddenly you notice little things changing."

"This was such a surprise to me. I really expected to feel psychologically older as I aged. But physically, oh my body has betrayed me... Eyes... hair (gray, but at least I still have it)... back... knees... hips... prostate."



4. The past feels closer than it is

"When you get a flashback of a good memory and you realize that was over 10 years ago."

"When I told my daughter about something I did 24 years ago, I had to pause for a moment."

Time flies isn't just a saying. Psychologists agree that our minds lump time together based on novel experiences. When we are older, the days are a lot more similar than when we were young children. That's why when you're 80, time moves a lot faster than it did when you were 8.

5. Stuck in the wrong time

"I’m 61, and sometimes I feel like this world is not for me anymore. I feel almost like an imposter. For example, I can’t find clothes I like that fit correctly, TV is abhorrent, only old music sounds pleasant, shoes are uncomfortable, I don’t recognize most celebrities or famous people in the news or tabloids, and I don’t understand the need for most new and supposedly exciting products. I’m an educated person, I still work and have an active life. I’m not a recluse. But a little at a time, I feel the world is moving on without me. I finally understand why, in her final years, my mother only watched movies from the 1950s and reminisced about the past more than she talked about the present. Her world was long gone."



6. You lose friends

"If you choose not to have kids, you may end up losing your friends. I turn 40 this year, and my partner and I don't see many folks these days. Parents like to hang out with other parents. And I don't have a grudge, I totally see the value for playdates, etc. But it can be a little lonely."

"To be fair, I have 2 kids and lost a lot of friends because we simply don’t have the time/energy to connect regularly enough to maintain a healthy friendship. It instead falls into an awkward acquaintance stage where enough time passes between communication, and you’re not sure if reaching out to connect comes across weird."

7. Your parents are aging, too

"It's not just you who is getting old. Your parents are getting even older."

"I feel this. Lost my mom 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. 40 now with 2 kids. I get angry/sad at a lot of milestones like my wedding and kids' stuff ‘cause my mom was robbed of them, and I was robbed of her."

8. Time wasted caring about other people's opinions

"It’s so freeing when that old twinge of 'why don’t they like me' pops up, and then I remember that I can not be bothered by that anymore, and magically, I don’t care!"

"Just wasting time in general. No thanks. I want to do as many things as possible!"



9. Your friends die

"Your friends start to die. It's something I never thought about."

10. Time flies

"Man. I don’t even feel like the days are long anymore. I just keep blinking and the weeks go by."

"Yup, wake up, eat breakfast, do a couple things. Wait, it’s lunch already? Eat lunch, do a couple more things, time to prep dinner. Eat dinner, clean up, fix a few things, it’s 9 pm. I guess it’s almost time to get ready for bed? This times 10,000 for me."

11. The monotony sets in

"You will realize that you hate planning meals and making food every single day. It's boring, and it's too easy to fall into monotony. But you have to make lunch again and then plan for dinner again then make dinner again and what do you want to eat tomorrow so you plan for breakfast tomorrow and get up and make breakfast again and then plan for lunch again...."

12. You become invisible to much of society

"I wondered what felt off the last year. Gen Z is everywhere now, and I'm still asking myself when that happened."



13. Adults aren't real

"When you're a kid, you can't wait to 'grow up,' and then you do, and you're still you, just older. That voice inside your head doesn't change, but what you see in the mirror does. Only now you're just older and saddled with bills and stress and all of life's 'surprises.' On top of this, everyone is winging it. Absolutely everyone. Because the idea of order and a civilized society is an illusion. We're all playing by made up rules and making imaginary money and all the rest of it. A one-dollar bill costs just as much to print as a hundred-dollar bill."

14. Priorities change

"Things that seemed so important when you were younger, really are not important."

15. Younger people's reverence

"I'm middle-aged, and a funny thing is how younger people get self-conscious or apologize when there is no need. For example, they will apologize for swearing around me or mentioning something like (gasp) drinking, or drugs, or sleeping around. I think it's funny. Why would being on earth longer make me easier to scandalize? I've seen and done things that would shock them, lol, but to them I'm a very proper-looking classy older lady."

16. Ageism

"Doors start closing once you reach a certain age."

"Ageism is real. I just turned 50 and am in a young person's career (software development). I feel how hiring managers look at me when asked to turn my camera on, during an interview that was going very well and suddenly it's 'we'll get back to you.'"

17. It all catches up

"Things like drinking, eating unhealthily, smoking, spending ... they will catch up. When you're young you think you're different, or you think that when it does catch up you'll be old so who cares, I won't care when I'm old anyway. You will care, though. You'll still be you. Those things won't seem like an issue right up to the moment they are. And then it's too late to take them back."

This article originally appeared in September.
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Golden Retriever's unbridled excitement over new dog bed is too sweet not to watch

Who wouldn’t be excited?

@wackowinston/TikTok, used with permission

May we all find something that makes us as happy as this dog bed makes Winston.

Dogs of every breed tend to get excited over the littlest things, but Golden Retrievers are just a bit extra whether its with their favorite toys, snacks, or in this case, their beds.

One proud goldie named Winston is winning hearts online thanks to his adorable reaction to a dog bed upgrade. It's honestly understandable—the bed is more of a mini couch. Who wouldn’t be excited?

Winston’s mom, Ashley Jance, not only manages to capture the wholesome moment, but provides the perfect narration.

"This is my old bed... and THIS is my new bed!" Jance says as, indeed, we see Winston jump on one bed then bound to the other as though he were a kid on Christmas showing off his new toys.

And, just like a kid, Winston doesn’t love the idea of sharing as indicated by his playful growls when Dad tries to sit on his new plush throne.

“He’s like, ‘get up!’” Jance says through giggles.

Down in the comments, viewers seemed to catch Winston’s enthusiasm.

“I love this for you Winston!” one person exclaimed.

Another added, “that is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

@wackowinston

im very proud and excited

♬ original sound - Winston The Golden

Of course, not all dogs might take to dog beds as happily as Winston did. A 2012 survey by the American Pet Products Association found that 62% of small dogs, 41% of medium-sized dogs, and 32% of large dogs sleep with their owners.

It's a trend not soon to break. In 2022, Psychology Today reported that 76% of American dog owners allows their dogs to sleep with them.

Still, even for pups who don’t take to their own bed immediately, there are certain steps to take to make their beds seem a bit more appealing. Mostly, it takes establishing routine and safety along with some patience as a pet owner.

Of course, if traditional training doesn't work, pet owners could just show their furry friends this video of Winston because boy is his energy contagious!

If you're interested in getting your own pup a bed like Winston's, they're available on Amazon.


This article originally appeared March.

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TikTok 'no-buy quarter' trend is inspiring some brilliant ideas to save money in 2025

Viral 'no-buy quarter' hacks show how to avoid spending money for months at a time

Photo by Nina Uhlikova

Going outside is free, and in April your wallet will feel the gains.

As we move into the middle of December and hopefully start winding down the annual holiday spend-a-palooza, many are already looking ahead to their 2025 savings goals. In the spirit of Movember or Dry January — those feel-good challenges that mix self-improvement with a bit of group accountability — TikTok has given us a viral phenomenon: the “no-buy quarter.”

But, as the name implies, this time the challenge goes beyond a single month. Participants commit to three months of reduced spending, with some hardcore enthusiasts even extending it for a whole year! If you went a little too hard on spending during the holiday season, think of this as the perfect detox for your battered finances.

What is a no-buy quarter?

At its core, the no-buy quarter isn't about cutting out essential purchases. Groceries, medical expenses, and other necessities remain untouched. Instead, the goal is to reduce or eliminate non-essential spending. Think fewer splurges on coffee, takeout, home decor, or trendy gadgets.

@MckenzieMack

For TikTok creator @stephen_spann, a no-buy plan begins with making the most of what you already have. “Use up the food we already have before buying more,” Spann advises, noting the often-forgotten freezer items many households accumulate. He also emphasizes tackling beauty and health products stockpiled in bathroom cabinets before succumbing to the allure of the latest trends.

"If I see something new in the store, I get sucked into that... I need to use up what I already have first."

— @stephen_spann

Save with intention

For TikTok creator Mckenzie Mack, the no-buy quarter is a powerful tool for meeting ambitious financial goals. Mack plans to use the first three months of the year to frontload contributions to her 401(k).

@MckenzieMack

Her method? Increasing contributions to 26% during January through March to take advantage of a large bonus and reduce her contribution rate to 6-7% for the rest of the year.

“To max out your 401(k) in 2025, you need to contribute $23,500,” Mack explains. “By committing to a no-buy quarter, I’m ensuring a large chunk of my bonus goes directly toward my 401k.”

"This is a use-it-or-lose-it situation... I’m leaving a little extra in my fun money bucket, but once it’s gone, it’s gone."

— @MckenzieMack

Break free from spending cycles

Both Mack and Spann point out the emotional and behavioral shifts that come with embracing a no-buy lifestyle. Mack recommends cutting down on streaming services and finding joy in low-cost hobbies like hiking or game nights.

@stephen_spann

Spann, on the other hand, calls attention to the subtle temptations of shopping apps and notifications. “Remove shopping apps from your phone,” he says. “They’re just tempting me.”

"Just because I can get it on sale doesn’t mean I should buy it."

— @stephen_spann

Both creators agree that breaking the consumerist cycle is about appreciating what you already own. By doing so, they say, you save money and cultivate contentment.

How to start your own no-buy quarter

If the idea of a no-buy quarter appeals to you, here are some steps to get started:

  • Identify your essentials: Separate necessary expenses (groceries, rent) from discretionary ones.
  • Set clear rules: Decide what’s off-limits — dining out, clothing purchases, or subscription services.
  • Create a goal: Link your savings to something tangible, like paying down debt or increasing your emergency fund.
  • Track progress: Monitor your spending and celebrate milestones, no matter how small.
  • Find support: Share your plan on social media or with friends. Accountability can help you stay motivated.
  • Choose a cheat: Research shows that making a new routine too difficult is a recipe for bailing on it. Choose one spend to keep you sane.

From clearing out freezers and unsubscribing from services to making coffee at home, the no-buy quarter trend is more than a fleeting challenge. It’s a chance to rethink your relationship with money and discover the joys of intentional living.

via GIPHY

Whether you take it on for three months or use it as a launchpad for a year of mindful spending, it could be the reset you need to make 2025 your best financial year yet.

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