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A Girl Scouts psychologist wrote a guide for parents to discuss body image. It rocks.

"Yes, Your Daughter Just Called Herself Fat," is a must-read.

girsl scouts, body image, body image young girls, parents
@girlscouts/Twitter

What a fabulous resource

The Girl Scouts' guide to help parents talk to their daughters about weight and body image is kind of amazing.


The guide, titled "Yes, Your Daughter Just Called Herself Fat," written by Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist, Andrea Bastiani Archibald, includes a step-by-step look at responding to your child should they come home one day from school saying, "I'm fat."

First of all, it breaks down just how prevalent fat-shaming is in our culture:

"According to studies, a whopping 80 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat. Why? Because they’re constantly surrounded by both subtle and direct messages that curvier or heavier girls aren’t as well liked, aren’t as likely to succeed in business, and in general, aren’t going to have as much fun or happiness in their lives."

Second of all, it explains why the knee-jerk response "You're not fat. You're beautiful!" that so many of us have actually isn't helpful.

Honestly, this part is so good that I'm just going to include the whole thing (which in its own awesome way, features the only reference to "The Dress" that won't make you want to scream):

"[I]f she really sees her body in a certain way, simply telling her to stop seeing it that way isn’t going to help much. Remember that infamous dress on social media a few years back that some people thought was blue and some thought was gold—and how frustrating it was when those who saw it differently insisted that you were seeing it wrong and tried to get you to see it their way? That’s kind of how your girl is going to feel when you tell her that her body simply isn’t the way she thinks it is.
...by essentially telling her that she's not fat, she's pretty, you're reinforcing the idea that fatter, rounder, curvier or heavier bodies aren't beautiful — which simply isn't true. There are endless ways to be beautiful, and your daughter will grow up with a much healthier relationship to her body if you teach her that in a genuine way from a young age."

This is such an important message that we don't hear often enough. Calling someone fat isn't bad because being fat is inherently bad, but it is bad to call someone fat as an insult because it implies that there's something wrong with larger bodies.

Fat is just another type of body, andall types of bodies are OK.

The guide also features some great steps parents can take if their daughters feel negatively about their body fat.

1. Don't assume you know where she's coming from.

"A better approach is to pause for a moment and ask your daughter why she thinks she’s fat," the guide advises. "Is it because her clothes are fitting differently than they used to or that a size she used to wear doesn’t feel comfortable anymore?"

Maybe her discomfort has to do more with the bodies of her classmates or what she's seeing in the media. Or maybe she is fat, and really just needs you to tell her that's OK too. Getting to the root of what's causing body image issues is an important first step.

Again, the guide warns against those knee-jerk reactions: "If she says she thinks her legs are bigger or her tummy is rounder than those of her friends, those may actually be correct observations — and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that."

2. Set a good example for her!

Kids pick things up from their parents all the time and internalize those messages even if parents aren't trying to pass them on. This is just as much about setting a good example as anything else.

"Another reason your girl might call herself fat is because she’s heard you do the same to yourself," reads the guide. "Your daughter listens to everything you say — and if you’re picking yourself apart in front of the mirror or complaining about your weight, there’s a good chance that she’ll follow in your self-disparaging footsteps."

That means giving yourself a bit of a break too. Just as you don't want her to have to try to live up to unrealistic beauty standards, remind yourself that you don't have to either.

"Identify parts of your body that serve you well and make note of the things you really do love about the way you look," says the guide. "Healthy habits like eating right and exercise are good for everyone and should be a daily part of your routine, but fixating on your body and how it could or should be different isn’t healthy for anyone."

3. Pay attention to the kind of media she's consuming and make sure she's seeing a variety of body types being celebrated.

TV, movies, and advertising are chock-full of messages meant to instill shame around body appearance, especially in girls and women. A bit of emotional counterprograming can go a long way. For example, check out the upcoming children's book "Glitter Stripes"; and for older girls, Hulu's "My Mad Fat Diary," Melissa McCarthy's performance in "Ghostbusters," and Chrissie Metz in "This Is Us," and Lynn Champlin on "My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" are great body-positive/fat-positive representations in the media.

Video of plus-size blogger posted on Girl Scouts Twitter page below:

The guide advises parents to "go the extra mile to compensate for some of the less-healthy messages your daughter may be getting from other sources" by exposing them to accomplished women of all shapes and sizes.

"She needs to know you don’t have to be a certain size or shape to make it big in life."

This guide is just one of the many phenomenal parenting resources you can find on the Girl Scouts website.

Other topics include how to raise your children to be leaders, how to stand up to bullying, and how to be the best they can be in school. They're all great in their own ways, but the body image article stands out especially.

Thanks to the Girl Scouts, parents can now feel equipped to handle this potentially difficult conversation.

This article originally appeared on 06.19.17

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


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