+
upworthy
More

The 4 most ridiculous arguments people use to defend Bill Cosby, presented by Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer defends Cliff Huxtable in the court of public opinion. See if you can answer the question at the bottom of the page.Disclaimer: This is satire. She's not defending him for reals.

On a recent episode of "Inside Amy Schumer," Schumer came to Cosby's defense ... and brilliantly highlighted how weak the arguments defending him are.

In the sketch, Schumer plays Cosby's defense lawyer in a pretend trial in the "Court of Public Opinion." She used the segment to highlight the problems with the arguments people have used to defend him over the past year as 30 different women have come out publicly to share their stories of assault.

The thing that Schumer so brilliantly emphasizes with this sketch is why people want to believe that Bill Cosby is innocent, despite overwhelming claims otherwise.



Argument #1: "The Cosby Show" was so much fun.

All clips via "Inside Amy Schumer."

The quality of a TV show has nothing to do with what the actors did off-screen. You can still feel nostalgic when you think of "The Cosby Show." But using that nostalgia as a reason why Bill Cosby couldn't possibly have drugged and raped dozens of women over several decades just doesn't compute.

Argument #2: "I'm tired of hearing about it. The women all have the same story."

When other crimes are committed, if 30 people have the same story about a person committing a crime, that can be incriminating against that person. Not a reason to dismiss the charges.

Argument #3: Cliff Huxtable is basically America's dad. He can't be guilty.

Bill Cosby is not "basically" Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable. Huxtable was a character Cosby played on TV. Huxtable didn't allegedly drug and rape women. Cosby on the other hand...

Argument #4: We don't want to punish ourselves for loving a show with a bad guy in charge. So, he can't be bad.

This right here is my favorite argument (inasmuch as you can have a favorite argument in a story like this). It shows how much people who defend Cosby and other high-profile men who might have committed similar crimes prefer to pretend the accusations don't exist so that their mental picture of high-profile image remains untarnished.

Denial is why so many people don't believe all the women coming forward. In most of these cases, the statute of limitations is up and almost none of the women can pursue formal charges in an actual court.

So, remember, Bill Cosby and Cliff Huxtable are two different people.

Separate the two.

Cliff Huxtable was America's dad. He was a fictitious character created for a television show. He is not Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby is a famous comedian with a history of alleged (and witnessed) serious, disturbing behavior. Cosby has a history of attacking people who disagree with him, once bullying a graduating college football player to tears for not having a flawless GPA (even though Cosby has never earned an undergraduate college degree and got his masters and doctorate under suspicious circumstances). He made staff members of "The Late Show with David Letterman" watch him eat curry (it's too weird to make up). He is not Cliff Huxtable.

When people defend Cosby, there are two things you should ask them:

1. What's more important?

Is it more important that we, the audience, enjoy a trip down nostalgia lane with an episode of a TV show starring a horrible human, or is it more important that we acknowledge the accusers making these numerous claims, allowing them to be heard?

The women who have come forward may never get a trial, but at least we can hear them out with objectivity and compassion in the court of public opinion. These women had the same feelings about Cosby that most of us did, and they trusted him enough to be alone with him.

2. Would you think twice before accepting a drink from Bill Cosby?

(And if you're not a woman, would you want your sister or daughter or female friend to accept a drink from him?)

Yeah. That's what I thought.

The "defense" rests. Thank you, Ms. Schumer, Esq.


Time travel back to 1905.

Back in 1905, a book called "The Apples of New York" was published by the New York State Department of Agriculture. It featured hundreds of apple varieties of all shapes, colors, and sizes, including Thomas Jefferson's personal favorite, the Esopus Spitzenburg.






Keep ReadingShow less

No better time to grab a little shut eye.

For those in the military, sleep can mean the difference between life and death. But shut-eye can be very hard to come by, especially during active conflict.

According to Sharon Ackman, the U.S. Navy Pre-Flight School developed a scientific method to help its pilots fall asleep. Through this technique, 96% of the pilots were able to fall asleep in two minutes or less.

Keep ReadingShow less

Melissa Pateras explains how dry cleaning works.


Have you ever wondered what happens at the dry cleaners? Or are you like me, who just assumed the people at the dry cleaners were wizards and never questioned their magic? Turns out, dry cleaners aren't magic and there's actually a pretty interesting explanation of how they came to be and what they do.

Melissa Pateras is known on Tiktok for her laundry knowledge. Seriously, her ability to fold laundry is hypnotizing. This time, she created a video explaining what actually takes place at the dry cleaner and the internet is aghast.

Before Pateras explained what happens in the mysterious world behind the counter of a dry cleaner, she asked a few of her friends what they thought dry cleaning was. Their answers were...interesting to say the least.

One friend surmised, "You put it in a box, right...and then you let some wind, really fast wind, blow around on your clothes and it wipes off all the dirt." The friend, whose username is @unlearn16, continued with her working hypothesis, saying that the clothes are then blasted with infrared heat to sterilize the garments. While that is certainly an interesting theory, that's not what happens.

Keep ReadingShow less

What dog is best for you?


PawsLikeMe might know you better than you know yourself.

Hello from the other siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!! I'm a dog and I love youuuuuuuu!!!

Because PawsLikeMe knows about your dreams.

Your DOG dreams, that is.

How? A dog-human personality quiz!

A sophisticated one, too! From their website:

"The personality assessment is based on 4 core personality traits that influence the human-canine bond; energy, focus, confidence, and independence."

It also takes into account environmental factors and other special circumstances as well.

It's not uncommon for dogs that are adopted to be returned because they just aren't compatible with their owner's life.

Keep ReadingShow less
Education

A dad's hilarious letter to school asks them to explain why they're living in 1968

"I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium."

Earlier in the week, Stephen Callaghan's daughter Ruby came home from school. When he asked her how her day was, her answer made him raise an eyebrow.

Ruby, who's in the sixth grade at her school in Australia, told her dad that the boys would soon be taken on a field trip to Bunnings (a hardware chain in the area) to learn about construction.

The girls, on the other hand? While the boys were out learning, they would be sent to the library to have their hair and makeup done.

Keep ReadingShow less
via Twitter

Everyone's childhood is different. But there are common objects, sights, sounds, smells, and memories from elementary school that most Gen Xers and Millenials share.

Personally, when i think back to being in elementary school in the '80s, I remember the taste of the chocolate ship cookie we got on Fridays (with the pizza). The humiliation of getting nailed in the back during nation ball. And the grumbling, grinding sound that happened when you slipped a disk into the drive on an Apple IIe computer.

Keep ReadingShow less