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victim blaming

In October 1991, Anita Hill sat before five white male senators during Clarence Thomas' Supreme Court confirmation hearing and bravely spoke her truth.

As her former supervisor, Hill said, Thomas had sexually harassed her in the workplace. Her recollections and testimony — given long before the #MeToo era helped change the way we see sexual harassment and assault — were criticized, questioned, and brushed aside by congressional leaders. Thomas was confirmed to the Supreme Court shortly after.

But Hill's voice was instrumental in helping pave the way for survivors to speak up.


Photo by Jennifer Law/AFP/Getty Images.

Nearly 27 years after testifying, Hill — now a professor at Brandeis University — sat down with John Oliver on an episode of "Last Week Tonight" to chat about how we can keep moving forward in ways that empower and protect survivors.

"There's been a tremendous amount of change," Hill said. "There's been a change in public attitude, and there's been a change in the amount of information that we have about sexual harassment."

But for all we've learned, Hill still gets an incredibly frustrating question.

"So far, much of the approaches we've had is to put all of the burden on women," Hill noted. "One of the questions I get that just sort of sticks out with me is: 'How do we raise our daughter to make sure that she doesn't set herself up to be a victim of sexual harassment?' These are the kinds of things that we're thinking — 'If we fix her, then she won't encounter this problem.'

"In reality, she is not the problem."

Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images.

"She is not the problem" — men are. Can we keep saying that until it truly sinks in?

Because instead of focusing on teaching men about consent, society often tells women that their clothing or the amount of alcohol they consume are to blame for the actions of abusers. It's nonsensical.

More awareness campaigns are urging men to speak up and stop sexual assault when they see it. The #MeToo movement has challenged Washington and Hollywood alike to rethink how we view and respond to harassment and assault. So we're headed in the right direction in many ways.

But still, Hill believes men "need to step up."

"At this point in time, there are no innocent bystanders," she continued. "If you are aware of something — you acknowledge it, you know it's wrong, but you don't do anything about it — then it's the same as participating in it."

Watch Hill and Oliver's interview, which starts at about 17:50, below:

New Zealand comedian Alice Brine read a headline about a recent rape. Then she decided she'd had enough.

Photos via Alice Brine, used with permission.

"A young woman has taken a young man to court because he's raped her," she said in an email. "The justice system in NZ means that the a defence lawyer in this case is allowed to argue that 'even though the victim of the rape clearly said 'no'... she probably didn't actually mean it.'"


"It's totally ridiculous."

The expectation that rape is a violent crime committed only in dark alleys by hardened criminals doesn't account for the countless date rapes and assaults committed by acquaintances, both new and old. And, especially when alcohol is involved, it's not uncommon to see men walk away from such trials with very little punishment. Or none at all.

Brine took her frustrations to Facebook, where she unleashed a searing hot analogy about what exactly 'no' means. Check it out:

Here's the full text of Brine's post:

"I'm gunna start going home with random very drunk guys and stealing all of their shit. Everything they own. It won't be my fault though... they were drunk. They should have known better. I'll get away with it 90% of the time but then when one brave man takes me to court over it, I'll argue that I wasn't sure if he meant it when he said 'no don't steal my Audi.' I just wasn't sure if he meant it. I said 'Can I please steal your Gucci watch?' He said 'no' but I just wasn't sure if he meant it. He was drunk.He brought this on himself. You should have seen how he was dressed at the club, expensive shirts and shoes. What kind of message is he sending with that!? I thought he wanted me to come and steal all of his shit. He was asking for it. When he said 'no' to me taking everything he owned I just didn't know if he meant it. 'No' isn't objective enough, it could mean anything."

Brine's pitch-perfect post definitely struck a nerve. It's been shared over 68,000 times so far.

Brine says the response has been almost 100% positive. OK, so a few people don't get the joke, but for the most part, the reaction has most been along the lines of: "YES. THIS!" 

"Consent is not difficult to understand," she told Upworthy. "If you can get your head around not stealing a car parked outside your house, then you can get your head around not stealing a woman's body just because she's sitting on your bed."

This fundamental understanding of consent is sorely lacking in legal systems around the world right now. "This analogy is one where people can finally see ... just how ridiculous it is when the tables are turned," she said. 

An analogy that paints a clearer picture on consent, no matter how silly it might sound, is always worth sharing.

A lot of people wear denim every day. But on April 27, 2016, at least 4 million folks are wearing jeans with a purpose.


Photo via iStock.


The reason why dates back to a court case from the 1990s.

Justice failed to serve one woman, and it sparked calls for change that continue today around the world — yes, in the form of jeans.

Photo via iStock.

More than 20 years ago, a driving instructor in Italy was convicted of raping one of his students. In 1998, however, the ruling was overturned by Italy's Supreme Court.

Why? The then-18-year-old woman had been wearing tight jeans.

The justices surmised that, because tight jeans are difficult to remove, the victim must have helped in taking them off. By that standard, the court said, the interaction had to have been consensual.

Yes, a real-life supreme court ruled this way on a real-life case.

The day after the 1998 ruling, women in the Italian parliament came to work wearing jeans in an act of solidarity with the survivor.

And a movement was born.


The court eventually overturned its absurd ruling in 2008, in large part due to the amount of outrage expressed from near and far.

But every April, Sexual Violence Awareness Month, women's advocacy group Peace Over Violence encourages both women and men to wear jeans in honor of Denim Day. This year, it falls on April 27.

The campaign protests "erroneous and destructive attitudes about sexual assault" around the globe. Because, unfortunately, these attitudes still persist — everywhere.

Denim Day may have resulted from an epic failure of justice in Italy in 1998. But the same injustice happens today in North America too.

In 2011, a Toronto police officer reportedly advised women "to avoid dressing as sluts" in order to be safe. Authorities in Montana brushed off an incident of rape as “probably just a drunken night in 2013.

More recently, a presidential candidate suggested college women shouldn't "go to parties where there’s a lot of alcohol" if they don't want to get get violated, andjust this past March, a Florida judge implied it was kinda sorta a rape survivor's fault because she'd done the unthinkable — she dared to attend a dance festival.

But short skirts, booze, and dancing don't cause rape. Rapists do.


Blaming victims of rape and sexual assault for their violators' crimes only allows these backward attitudes to persist, and that dissuades victims from coming forward.

That's why you may spot a few more people wearing jeans on April 27.

Millions of people have signed on in support of #DenimDay to keep this critical conversation moving forward.

More than 4 million people have signed the pledge on the Denim Day website to support survivors of assault and fight against victim-blaming. You can be one of them too.

The Denim Day movement has made it loud and clear: "There is no excuse, and never an invitation, to rape."

Learn more about Denim Day and support efforts here.

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Erykah Badu missed the mark on some recent tweets. Here's what we can all learn.

Here's why Badu's comments blame the victim, not the assaulter.

Erykah Badu is known for being an amazing performer and outspoken artist.

Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for All Def Digital.


However, the singer recently shared a series of concerning tweets about sexual assault in response to a story about school uniforms.

Badu’s discussion of male and female sexuality was sparked by an Auckland school instructing female students to lengthen their skirts so male teachers wouldn’t be distracted. Many were understandably outraged.

In a disappointing series of tweets, Badu told more than 17,000 Twitter followers why she supports lengthening school uniform skirts to make young girls less distracting to their male peers.





To which the internet was like:

GIF from "How to Get Away with Murder."

Badu's words reinforce a dangerous line of thinking, particularly for black women.

A 1998 study found that 7% of girls surveyed in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused. Another study from Black Women's Blueprint found that 60% of black girls reported having experienced sexual assault before reaching the age of 18. According to the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP) for every black woman who reports her rape, at least 15 remain silent.

Those numbers are disturbing, and those facts only become worse when women are told they are responsible for preventing their own assaults, rapes, and even murders.


"[U] have yet to explain how longer skirts would protect and not subject young women to the sexism of society," one person tweeted at her. To which Badu did acknowledge that men should be held accountable for managing their own reactions and behavior.



However, even with Badu’s acknowledgement of men's responsibility here, her tacit approval of a plan that asks girls to take equal responsibility for preventing themselves from being preyed on by men — adult men — is still problematic.

Her words reinforce the idea that girls are responsible for whether or not a man preys on them.

Protesters demand change on perceptions of rape and sexual assault. Image via iStock.

Like so many other women — and especially black women — I grew up with warnings to "be careful around men" and "not to wear certain things" as early on as childhood. These men that we were supposed to be wary of could be any men — from a man we encountered in the waiting room at the doctor's office or on the street waiting for a bus to even men in our own families.

The idea that revealing clothing makes a person more likely to be sexually assaulted is a myth that has been repeatedly debunked. While these points of caution are certainly well-intentioned, cautionary tales from parents trying to protect their children, telling girls to cover up so men aren’t tempted only serves to assert power to the claim that adult men are uncontrollable humans.

We validate the idea that a male desire for young girls is just a fact of nature, and by doing so, we don't just put girls in danger — we reduce boys and men to thoughtless, unrestrained beings with no free will.

When Badu tweets that it is “in his nature” for a heterosexual man to be attracted to a young woman in a short skirt, she gives power to dangerous men.

She justifies the actions of people like accused killer James Dixon, who admitted to brutally and fatally beating Islan Nettles earlier this year because of what she was wearing and the fact that she was transgender.

She implies that María José Coni and Marina Menegazzo, two young women traveling in South America who were murdered by two men who gave them a place to stay, asked for their deaths.

It implies that Anita Hill, who was sexually harassed by her boss, then-SCOTUS nominee Clarence Thomas, must have been at fault somehow, not the other way around — and that her account of what happened was invalid.

Actress Kerry Washington and professor of law at Brandeis University Anita Hill. Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images.

It suggests that the 11-year-old Texas child who was gang raped by 18 men is to blame because she was wearing makeup, not because those young men targeted her.

It implies that these women and girls would be better off taking precautions to ensure they do not become victims — as if their attackers wouldn't find other victims instead — rather than teaching men and boys they are responsible for their own behavior.

This line of thinking tells women around the world who have been assaulted in bars and clubs, churches and businesses, schools and homes, places of danger and places of comfort, that their rapes may be justified if the conditions are right to tempt a man. We invalidate and mock their experiences when we assert that their lives and their ability to say "no" really don't matter when a man’s “natural instincts” are involved.

In the past, Badu has used her artistic platform to call out misogyny in the hip-hop industry, which makes these tweets all the more confounding.

She has also spoken out many times about the unfair criminal justice system. To use her same voice and platform to blame young girls — school-age girls — for being distracting to their male classmates and adult male teachers who supposedly are incapable of retraining themselves against such temptation is dangerous.

Seeing these tweets from her — tweets that reinforce a misogynistic culture — is extremely disappointing and completely uncharacteristic of the typically badass, woke, and talented artist.

So, no, Ms. Badu. Let’s stop telling girls to dress differently. Instead, the next time a school decides to ask all female students to dress a certain way so as not to distract their adult male teachers (who, surely, are capable of exerting self-control) or male classmates, let’s remember why treating female bodies like they’re to blame for the actions of men is a slippery slope no one wants to fall down. Doing that is much more effective in the long run.