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Mom claims the biggest 'parenting flex' is having grandparents who are 'voluntarily involved'

Grandparents that are eager to help raise their grandkids are a game-changer.

via Kelsey_p90/TikTok (used with permission) and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

Kelsey shares why it's great to have involved grandparents.

Grandparents are often stereotyped as doting and eager to be a big part of their grandchildren's lives. In movies and TV, we often see parents of child-free women begging them to have kids so they can be grandparents.

However, that’s not always the case. Many grandparents are unable to help raise their grandkids because of their location or health. There are also far too many who aren’t that eager to do the work.

For many parents, the presence of grandparents who actively participate in raising their kids can be a game-changer. The support they provide, whether it’s watching the kids on a Friday night or picking them up from school, can significantly ease the juggling act of modern parenting.

Kelsey, a popular TikTok and Instagram mother of two, recently celebrated the joy of having “voluntarily involved” grandparents, calling them the biggest “parenting flex.” Of course, the subtext of the post is that, unfortunately, many grandparents are uninvolved with their grandchildren’s lives and their families could use their help.

Warning: Strong language.

@kelsey_p90

Top tier 🙌🏻🙌🏻 #fyp #foryourpage #foryou #momtok #mom #moms #momlife #momsbelike #momsoftiktok #sahm #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok #grandma #grandpa #parenting #parentsoftiktok

“Without question, the biggest parenting flex isn’t the mom car, not how much you make a year. It’s not how well-behaved your kids are,” Kelsey starts her video. “Biggest flex is having involved grandparents. Voluntarily involved. Holy f***, having that midday struggle with my children and then getting that text from grandma: ‘Hey, can I pick so and so up for a sleepover tonight?’ Ha ha ha, funny, you should say that! Her bag has been packed. Never unpacked it. She’s ready.”

She noted that “voluntarily involved” grandparents aren’t just doing the bare minimum. They’re stepping up and taking charge of their role in the family.

“Ones that you can text like, ‘Hey, can you fly up this weekend? We need your help.’ ‘Sure, no problem!’ I don’t know what kind of reaction that was. But it came within the depths. Nothing beats it. Nothing beats a grandparent that wants to do more than required to get that yearly Facebook Happy Birthday Grandma post,” Kelsey continued.

Unfortunately, many moms and dads don’t have parents they can rely on to help them raise their kids and it’s a big loss. “A lot of the times, people don’t have help, and I am sorry,” Kelsey said. That f****** blows. We know it’s their loss. We know. Who doesn’t want to be involved with their grandchildren?”

grandparents, grandkids, tiktok

A grandmother looks out the window with her granddaughter.

via Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels

Many commenters shared why raising kids without grandparents is so hard.

"I recently read a quote that said 'uninvolved grandparents never intended to be parents themselves' everything made sense," Isabel Cardenas wrote. "You definitely got that right. That is the biggest flex of all time. There’s not enough money in the world that would take the jealousy I have for people who receive that type of love freely," Katy Alltop added.

Kelsey shared her thoughts on why some grandparents aren’t voluntarily involved with their grandkids.

“I think a lot of times grandparents have the point of view like ‘I did my time, I raised my children, now it’s my time to do whatever I want.’ They don’t want to be tied down with babysitting and other commitments,” she told Upworthy. “Which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing! They deserve a fun retirement. I would never want to force a grandparent (or anyone really) to be a part of my children’s lives. But it is so nice to see so many grandparents who go out of their way to foster relationships with their grandkids and who want to spend quality time with them (not just to give mom and dad a break).”

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Mom's video on why parents should give their kids adult names, not baby names, has parents debating

Over 11 million people have watched the video.

via rubyyvillarreal/TikTok and Adele Morris/Pixabay

Parents are debating over whether to give children "adult" or "baby" names.

The names we choose to give our children can significantly impact their lives. Multiple studies from across the globe have found that a person’s name can influence their employment, social and economic outcomes.

Unfortunately, humans make snap judgments about one another, and having an unusual name can lead people to make unflattering assumptions. “We’re hardwired to try to figure out in a heartbeat whether or not we want to trust somebody, whether we want to run from somebody,” Northwestern University researcher David Figlio said, according to Live Science.

However, an increasing number of parents are giving their children non-traditional names to help them stand out. “Parents are trying to be original, almost branding their kids in an era where names are viewed on the same level as Twitter handles or a website URL,” writer Sabrina Rogers-Anderson said.

Ruby, a mother on TikTok, took a hard stance on parents giving their children names that sound childish in a post that’s received over 11 million views. Ruby says she named her kids as “adults, not babies” hoping they would never “outgrow” their names.

@rubyyvillarreal

TikTok · R U B Y V I L L A R R E A L

“The whole concept when I was trying to look for a name and choose a name for her is I did not want her to outgrow her name,” she said in the viral video. “I wanted the name to fit her as a baby, as a toddler, as a child, and into adulthood. So, it's like I really am happy with what I ended up with naming her and it just fits her so well.”

She captioned the video, “love having nicknames as they are younger and it doesn’t mean they will prefer it over their name as they get older. Just gives them options.”

People in the comments responded with modern names they think that kids will outgrow.

"My name is Koazy and I’m here for a job interview," Stalker joked. "Hello sir, I am Bluey Mason Garrison! I was called in for a job interview last Tuesday," Pastel Purr added.

"I can’t imagine knowing [a] 30-year-old named Emma or Posie," Mikey wrote.

However, a lot of people commented that names that seem like they’ll be outgrown will sound fine in the future when those names are popular with the new generation. “Kids grow up with their generation having their own names on trend. They will be normal adult names when they are grown,” Kerry wrote.

“Names grow with the generation,” Lauren added. “The name Dennis sounded like a baby name once too. Names grow up just like generations.”

@rubyyvillarreal

Replying to @19eighty_5 my kids name and the process 😬 #babynames #nicknames #babytok #adultnames #momsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #pregnancytiktok #toddlersoftiktok #babyname #babyfever

In a follow-up video, Ruby shared the names she gave her children. Her girl is named Karla Esmerelda and her boy is called Deluca.

“I just really liked how simple, how bold, and strong that the name by itself just really kind of is. Doing some research names with the letter K tend to be like very bold and powerful names, so I really wanted it with a K and not with a C,” she said.

She named her son Deluca, after a doctor on “Grey’s Anatomy.” She said she chose the name because there was nothing to connect it to, and it sounded “nice.”


This article originally appeared on 4.26.23

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Pregnant woman swaps her baby shower for a 'nesting party' and people are taking note

"Every pregnant mom needs a nesting party."

via NiaLui21/TikTok

Women clean Nia Lui's house at her nesting party.

A mother expecting her 3rd child decided to forget about having a baby shower and brought her friends together for something she needed even more: a nesting party. Instead of spending an afternoon watching her friends drink champagne and play games, Nia Lui put them to work to prepare her home for her new arrival.

Lui documented the event on TikTok, and after seeing the video, a lot of women said they’d much rather go to a nesting party than a baby shower.

The special day came courtesy of Lui’s friend, Bree. Lui gave her a list of everything she needed to do around the house before her daughter arrived and the women gave her home a deep cleaning, organized the kitchen and got the baby’s room together.

"Every pregnant mom needs a nesting party. If you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby shower, do this,” Lui captioned the video.

If you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby shower, do this. If you have a pregnant friend, do this for them! 

@nialui21

Replying to @Haley Sheppard Every pregnant mom needs a nesting party. If you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby shower, do this. If you have a pregnant friend, do this for them! #nestingparty #nestingmom #nestingmode #pregnantmom #pregnancy #babyshower #nestingmama #thirdtrimester #ittakesavillage #myvillage @Bri Welcker

In the post, Lui explained how the event came together. "So I had my nesting party last night instead of a baby shower and it was amazing,” she said. "My friend Bree organized it. I sent her a list of things that I wanted to get done before the baby came, and she made little cards for each person to take to take on a section of the house."

"I kind of took on more of a supervisory role, kind of telling people where I wanted things and what I wanted to do with things,” she added.

Even though it was a work day, the friends still took some time to enjoy each other's company. "We took a dinner break, ate some soup, some sourdough bread and treats, and just chatted about this baby and how it's going to be," Lui said.


Lui explained a big reason for the nesting party in a follow-up video. "I don't like baby showers. I don't like being the center of attention," she said. "I don't like playing dumb games. I just don't. I don't. And this is our third baby. So we have everything. We basically don't need a lot besides diapers and wipes."

@nialui21

Replying to @katiecusic Nesting party answers. #nestingparty #babyshower #nesting #nestingmom #womensupportingwomen #momlife #sahm #pregnantmom #nestingmode #nestingmama #thirdtrimester #pregnancy #ittakesavillage #bethevillage #greenscreen

In the end, after her friend’s help, Lui and her family were better prepared for the new arrival. "Everything was so clean and organized," she said. "I feel so much more ready for this baby."

The video was a hit with women on TikTok, too. Many of the most popular commenters noted that they would prefer to go to a nesting party than a baby shower. “Honestly, I’d prefer doing this to sitting for three hours watching someone open presents,” one user wrote. “I refuse to go to baby showers, but I would show up early for a nesting party," Dog Momma added.

Others thought that nesting parties were more helpful than bridal showers as well.

“This is a true village, and I love everything about it,” kTaylorFitness commented. “I’m sorry, but how has this not been a thing FOREVER? I would absolutely go help alllll my pregnant friends. And wish I could have had one,” Ashleigh wrote.

In American culture, many of our celebrations revolve around buying people gifts for their graduations, weddings, or new arrivals. But sometimes, what people really need can’t be purchased in a store. Lui and her friends did the world a service by showing them that sometimes, instead of giving someone a gift, what they really need is a hand.

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Mom wants to know when Halloween became 'an adult pub crawl'?

"Have parents always done this, and they're just being more public about it now?”

via Sam Beckwith/Pexels and UltimiteMomChallenge/Tiktok

Celeste Yvonne had a recent Halloween realization.

Celeste Yvonne, a certified recovery coach and a founding host of the Sober Mom Squad, had a Halloween realization and wanted to know if she was the only person who felt the same.

“This morning, I'm listening to parents at the school drop-off area talk about how they will be bringing a keg onto their golf carts when they do the trick-or-treating rounds with their kids this year,” Yvonne says in a viral TikTok video.

“I'm not shaming them, but my question is: when did trick-or-treating become a beer crawl or pub crawl for adults?” she asked. “This is a newer phenomenon, isn't it? Or have parents always done this, and they're just being more public about it now?”

“I mean, even now, you can go up to a house doorway, and they will have candy for the kids or adult drinks for the adults. I never saw that growing up trick-or-treating,” Yvonne added. “Is this a newer phenomenon as a result of mommy wine culture or just the normalization of alcohol in general?”

@theultimatemomchallenge

#mommywineculture #halloween

The answer could be that drinking is a lot more visible during the holiday because the number of adults who celebrate is on the rise. At the same time, there has been a rise in alcohol consumption among older adults, where we now drink about the same amount as we did in the pre-Civil War era.

Interestingly, at the same time, there has been a decline in drinking among younger people.

In the comments, many noted that we didn’t see parents drinking during trick-or-treating in the past because kids used to go out with their older friends or siblings. “In the ‘80s, our parents let us go on our own. They stayed home and did what they wanted or at least in my town,” Leigh Winchester Fle wrote. “Gen Xer here, my boomer parents just sent us out and stayed behind and boozed. Now I think our generation tags along and take roadies,” Uncle Rico added.

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