11 things you wanted to know about my turban but were too afraid to ask.

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'I have more than 20 different turbans, each a different color.'

This story was originally published on The Mash-Up Americans.

Turbans are a source of mystery — and, all too often, terrible misunderstanding — to those who don’t wear them.

What do they mean? Why do you wear them? Do you have to do everything in a turban? Enter Rupinder Singh, founder of American Turban, social justice fellow at the Sikh Coalition, and owner of more than 20 turbans. If you’ve ever wanted to know how long it takes to tie a turban, he’s got you covered. (Pro tip: The word Sikh means “student” and rhymes with “Sith,” not “seek.” Learning every day.)

Singh sporting one of his many pink turbans. Photo used with Singh's permission.

A typical conversation about my turban goes something like this:

The TSA, as I go through security at the airport: “I need to inspect your, uh, headgear. I mean, your headwear. You know, that wrap on your head."

Me: “You mean ... my turban?”

“Turban” is not a dirty word. And hopefully mine, to the TSA agent awkwardly sniffing it, smells springtime fresh.

As a follower of the Sikh faith, I am, by design, recognized by my turban and my uncut hair. Sikhism is a religion of about 25 million people around the world. It’s the fifth largest world religion by population. Most of the religion’s followers are in India, but there are about 500,000 Sikhs in the United States. That’s a lot of turbans! And this simple item is the subject of a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings.

So here are answers to the 11 questions I just know you want to ask about my turban, but were too afraid to ask:

1. Why do you wear a turban?

While the turban is a common and fashionable item of clothing for many cultures, for Sikhs, it represents our faith. When the Sikh faith was developing from the 15th through 18th centuries in South Asia, the turban was worn only by the higher classes and elites of society. However, a core teaching of the Sikh faith was that all people are equal — there are no high or low among us. As such, it was mandated that all Sikhs initiated into the faith cover our heads with a turban, thereby signifying the equal status among the faith’s followers.

Because it’s considered respectful for Sikhs to keep our heads covered when in public and in our religious spaces, the turban provides that function as well. To me, it is a core piece of my identity.

Another identifying article of faith for Sikhs is maintaining uncut hair, both women and men. Sikhs are not to cut hair from any part of our bodies, which is why as a Sikh man I have a long beard and long hair. This is an expression of our acceptance of God’s will. My turban becomes the covering for my long hair that I keep in a bun at the top of my head. You see, we were way ahead of the hipster man-bun curve.

2. Do women wear turbans too?

Among Sikhs, the turban has traditionally been worn by men, while women cover their heads with a long scarf called a chunni or dupatta. However, many Sikh women have adopted the turban as their head covering as well.

3. But I have a friend who is a Sikh and doesn’t wear a turban. Why not?

Like any group, there is a range of practice. Many followers of the faith don’t wear turbans or keep their hair, but still legitimately follow and identify with the faith.

4. Do the colors of the turban mean anything?

There aren’t any religious meanings associated with a given turban color. A person can wear any color turban they like — and even prints! Some colors like orange, blue, and white are traditionally worn during religious celebrations or occasions. Red is traditionally worn during Sikh weddings.

One of my main decision points during my morning routine is to determine what color turban I’m going to wear and how that will coordinate with my shirt, pants, jacket, and shoes. I have more than 20 different turbans, each a different color. I’m particularly proud of the four shades of pink that are quick to brighten up a gloomy day for my coworkers. My color choice is a complicated algorithm that usually results in the wrong choice, but luckily, others either don’t notice or don’t want to hurt my feelings by pointing it out — bless their hearts.

5. Does it go on like a hat?

The turban isn’t a hat per se, and we don’t wear it like a hat. The Sikh turban is a long piece of cotton, typically up to six yards long and one to two yards wide. Your mileage may vary. Mine sure does.

I tend to wear shorter, narrower lengths of fabric, which I re-tie every day. To put it on, I fold the cloth several times (a process called making the pooni) into a single layer that I then wrap concentrically around my head in four layers (or a larh), but more often Sikhs wrap turbans around five or more times. It takes me a precious five or so minutes to tie my turban — precious because I usually run late to wherever I’m going.

You can watch a similar process (at your own risk) here.

6. How many kinds of turbans are there?

There are several different general styles of turbans that people wear, and within each style, there’s a lot of leeway according to their person’s preferences. A dumalla is a larger, rounder turban. There is a smaller round turban tied by some Sikh men. Sikh women who tie turbans tend to wear round ones as well. A parna is a smaller round turban often tied using a thicker printed/checkered cloth.

I tend to tie what’s most commonly referred to as the paghri or pagh, which is more angular in shape (like this one or this one). Within this style, there are regional differences: British Sikhs and African Sikhs tend to wear smaller, sharper turbans (using starched cloth) compared to North American Sikhs, whose turbans are generally softer. Indian Sikhs will often tie larger turbans. Apparently, size matters.

7. Where do you get your turbans?

I typically get my turbans from South Asian fabric shops, online turban retailers, or at Sikh festivals. The cost can vary, ranging anywhere from $3 to $10 a yard depending on where I buy from, the type of cotton blend, and any print or design. As for care, many people hand wash their turbans, though I put mine in the washing machine set on the delicate cycle and hang to dry.

8. Were you born with a turban on?

No, and my mom couldn’t be happier about that.

When I was a kid and my hair got long enough, my mother would tie on me (until I could) what is known as a patka — basically, a rectangular cloth tied around my head like a bandana that covered my bun of hair. Most boys will wear a patka until they learn how to tie the full turban, and many will instead have a handkerchief just covering their hair bun on the top of their heads. Young boys will wear a patka or a handkerchief since they’re easy to tie and can stand up to some roughhousing. Sikh men will also often wear a patka when playing sports.

There’s actually a ceremony in which we celebrate when a child ties their first full turban. We call the ceremony dastaar bandi (meaning “turban tying,” coincidentally enough). It’s often characterized as a “coming of age” ceremony, but it’s not a hard and fast rule. I had my ceremony when I was maybe 4 years old — I was an overachiever back then — but I didn’t start tying my full turban until I reached high school 12 years later.

9. Do you wear it to sleep or shower?

Nope. Sikhs are supposed to keep their heads covered when in public. Accordingly, I don’t wear mine when I sleep and not in the shower, especially since it’s not waterproof.

Actually, flowing water can be fatal to a tied turban. We can be rather hydrophobic when it rains. I will say, however, that my turban does make for a convenient pillow during air travel.

10. Can I touch your turban?

Well, I’m glad you asked. I don’t know — can you?

Personally, it’s a bit of a sensitive topic. Like many Sikh children, I was bullied quite a bit in school, and my patka was the target of my harassers. Bullies would try to pull it off or just try to mess with it. This was obviously very humiliating to me as a boy, given the sacred nature of our turbans.

As an adult, I still get asked this from time to time. Because the turban is a religious article of faith, it’s held in sacred esteem by Sikhs. It’s offensive if our turbans are touched or handled without our permission while we’re wearing them. But, if the person asking is respectful and genuine, then I’ll let someone touch it so they can get a sense of it. Play your cards right and I can even tie one on you. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean we have to get engaged or anything.

11. And, oh yeah, the heat thing.

You would think that tying layers of cloth on your head would be uncomfortable on a hot day, but actually, the turban is a common article of clothing in hot climates. It protects the wearer from exposure and the sun’s rays. So, while it can feel hot wearing a turban, it’s because it is hot.

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Millennials complain that their Boomer parents won't throw anything away. A psychologist explains why.

"3 car garage...cannot fit a single car in there."

boomer, boomers, boomer clutter, clutter, hoarding, too much stuff

Photo credit: Canva

A Baby Boomer stands in his cluttered garage.

Millennials with Baby Boomer parents have not been shy about airing their complaints about the older generation. Millennials have previously noted that their parents tend to hoard food—and now they're are airing their grievances about Boomer "stuff avalanche."

On Reddit, Millennials discussed their frustrations about their Boomer parents and the insane amount of junk they have in their homes that (allegedly) will one day be passed down to them to deal with. Many Millennials shared that it is a source of contention for them, and that they wish their parents would just throw things out.

"3 car garage...cannot fit a single car in there," one commented. And another stated, "I am very concerned with the amount of junk my parents are holding onto."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A fellow peeved Millennial added, "The worst part is that our parents think this is all worth lots and lots of money. Don’t worry kids, these three sets of china I’m saving for you will be worth millions!"

Another had laid down the law: "My mom kept joking about all the 'stuff' being my inheritance. After a few times I was tired of it, I looked her dead in the face and said in the most monotone I could get. 'I will get the biggest dumpster I can, and it will all go in the trash.' She stopped making that joke, and my parents have been slowly throwing out their junk ever since."

clutter, baby boomer stuff avalance, stuff, too much stuff, decluttering A Baby Boomer garage filled with stuff.Photo credit: Canva

Why Boomers struggle to throw things away

"The Boomer generation grew up in the post-war era shaped by rationing and economic rebuilding," Daniel Glazer, clinical psychologist and co-founder of US Therapy Rooms, tells Upworthy.

He adds that the Boomer inability to let stuff go is often criticized, but when you look at the psychology of their attachment to objects, their behavior makes much more sense.

"Not so long ago, saving things was an adaptive habit. 'That might come in handy' was a common refrain in households in which replacing something was not so easy, or affordable," says Glazer. "There is also an element of emotional security that comes from the things that have surrounded us through decades of life events, or even across a lifetime."

And for many Boomers, getting rid of stuff can signify an even bigger mental battle.

"As people age, there can also be an increased awareness of mortality," says Esin Pinarli, founder and holistic psychotherapist at Eternal Wellness Counseling. "Letting go of objects can feel symbolic, almost like letting go of chapters of their life. If no one is asking about those chapters anymore, those objects become the tangible proof that those experiences mattered. So it’s not stubbornness. It’s often about attachment, meaning-making, and a fear of losing relevance or erasing parts of their story."

How to help Boomers declutter

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Starting the conversation with Boomer parents in an empathetic and understanding way may help the process go more smoothly and deepen the relationship between them and their children. Here are a few examples of conversation starters Millennials can use when talking to their Boomer parents about decluttering:

Conversation Starter #1: "I know these things mean something to you. I’d love to hear the story behind a few of them."

"This shifts the focus from getting rid of objects to honoring the meaning behind them," says Pinarli. "When a parent feels seen and understood, they’re often more open to eventually letting go. It validates that the attachment is about memory and identity, not just stuff."

Conversation Starter #2: "What would feel good for you to keep, and what feels like it’s just taking up space now?"

"This gives them agency," Pinarli explains. "Instead of telling them what to throw away, it invites them to reflect on what still feels meaningful versus what might no longer serve them. That sense of control reduces defensiveness."

Conversation Starter #3: "Would it help to go through this together so we can make sure the important things are preserved?"

"This frames decluttering as a collaborative and supportive process, not a demand," Pinarli shares. "It reassures them that their memories and legacy won’t be dismissed or erased, which can lower the emotional intensity around letting go."

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Costco customers are overjoyed by news that the store's 'archaic' cake ordering system is finally modernizing

"This is GREAT!"

costco, costco cake, costco cakes, costco cake order, costco custom cake app

Canva/Wikimedia

Costco announces new app for custom cake orders.

Loyal Costco fans are lauding their favorite big-box store for a long-awaited change to its custom cake ordering system. In a company memo, Costco announced that it will be launching an app for customers to order customized cakes at the touch of their fingers without having to enter a Costco store.

"We've got ordering cakes and deli trays online coming," said Costco CEO Ron Vachris. "Many of the things that we've heard from our members that could be a little bit clunky are now moving to a digital state, and we're seeing great adoption right out of the chute."

It's a massive change from the previous custom cake process. Costco lovers have long complained about the old-school ordering system that required customers to physically go to the store's bakery, where they would fill out a slip of paper with their order requests and simply drop it in the order box.

@eatsbyrachel
Anyone else feel like the @Costco Wholesale custom cake ordering system is a bit antiquated? 🤔 Regardless, their analog process somehow always works 💯 #costco #costcobakery #cake #customcake #costcodoesitagain #costcocake #costcofinds #costcodeals #costcofind #costcofinds #eatsbyrachel

Costco's "1800s" custom cake ordering

Back in 2023, writer Lucy Huber humorously poked fun at Costco's seemingly outdated custom cake ordering system that resonated with fellow Costco shoppers. And her words went viral:

"Ordered a cake from Costco and their system is from the 1800s, you write what you want on a piece of paper & put it in a box then nobody follows up and you just show up and hope they made it? I tried to call to confirm & they were like 'if you put it in the box, it will be there'," she wrote.

It was a system that also caused Costco members on Reddit a lot of anxiety.

"We did our wedding cakes from Costco, talk about a nerve-racking experience hoping everything worked out," one wrote.

Another shared, "Drop a paper in a hole and cross your fingers 🤣🤣."

Costco customers have mixed feelings

Many Costco customers and Redditors expressed their positive reactions to the updated ordering system news:

"As someone who lives 1.5 hours away from three different Costcos I LOVE this. I'm rarely in the market for a custom cake, but when I am I'm not driving an hour and a half to fill out the request form in store."

"This is GREAT! But will I also be able to order chocolate cake with white icing and vice-versa? Because currently I can’t do that at my Costco."

"While the box system worked, it was archaic. With anything, the new system will take time to implement."

"Jumping from the 19th century to the 21st century. Bravo Costco!"

Others weren't as happy:

"Kind of sad in a way. There are not too many interactions like this in the digital age."

"But the Paper & Pencil worked."

"Coming in 2027: I didn't get my cake at Costco because Amazon-East-1 is down :(."

"I have ordered many cakes with this low tech. Never an issue."

Costco bakery workers react

Workers in Costco bakeries also chimed in, many with negative opinions:

"As someone who works in the bakery this is going to be a disaster. Half the people don’t even know the name on the order or what the cake says when they come to pick up. Like 2 times a week we get someone trying to pick up at the wrong Costco."

"As a bakery employee, this is going to be a nightmare. The whole point of keeping the order form in warehouse only was to not overwhelm our staff AND (this one being the real reason I was given), is it makes people come in and 'grab a few items while their there, and then again when they come pick up the cake.' I am not looking forward to this. People are going to order at the wrong Costco, not do it right and then get mad at us. I'm terrified of this change 🫣."

"As someone who has worked in the bakery at Costco, the prevailing thought has been 'the system we have works fairly well, so they’re probably not gonna change it.' It’s the same reason that the major sales department still uses paper slips for computers. Well, except for the apple tables. Those have a little iPad kiosk that will print out your slip for you, but literally none of the members ever use it and instead ask us to do it for them."

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Gen Xers share 17 nostalgic dishes they ate growing up—and still make for dinner

From sloppy joes to pizza bread, these dishes still slap.

gen x, generation x, gen x meal, gen x food, gen x family meals

Image via Reddit

A family enjoys dinner during the 1970s.

Generation X (those born between 1965-1980) grew up eating classic Americana meals. During the 1970s, comfort meals like tuna casserole and salmon roquettes were popular meals.

Gen X also grew up eating some pretty unhinged (but all the more yummy) sandwiches. These meals are steeped in childhood nostalgia.

And to this day, Gen Xers are still fond of their favorite dishes they grew up eating. Together, they discussed on Reddit their most-loved home-cooked dishes that they still whip up, starting with sloppy joes.

Here are 17 iconic Gen X comfort meals to keep in mind the next time you make dinner:

@genx_shawn
🤤😂 Top 10 Things ONLY GenX Knows the Taste Of... #genx #over50club #genxtiktok #over40 #genxcrew #generationx #genxers #genxtok #over40club #over50

"Breakfast. We will have a 'breakfast for dinner' at least a couple times a month. Yum!" - fadeanddecayed, KddKc

"Pizza bread! My mom would cut Italian bread into pieces, put butter and garlic salt on them, then pour some spaghetti sauce on them, cover with mozzarella cheese, and broil for like ten or fifteen minutes. Super easy and quick to make and so tasty. I'm sure my mom loved that I was so into something that took roughly zero effort for her to make." - hornybutired

"Grilled cheese and soup." - reincarnateme

"Meat loaf. I use 2 pounds ground beef, replace bread crumbs with minute rice, add 1 pkg beef soup flavoring, chop an entire onion for it, and mix BBQ sauce into mixture. Oh, important: do not overmix! Place all ingredients into bowl, then mix quickly 10 or 12 swirls of a large spoon. Grease loaf pan, carefully place mixture in, pat down & bake about an hour. (Extra info: for even better flavor, mix the night before, pat into loaf pan, cover with plastic, put into fridge overnight. Remove from fridge about an hour before baking. BE SURE TO REMOVE PLASTIC WRAP! [Esp. If in Pyrex glass loaf pan])" - jehardt, AbbyM1968

"White guy tacos." - najing_ftw

"Skillet dinner. Kielbasa, bell pepper, onion, spuds in a cast iron pan. One dish. Easy peasy." - UnimportantOutcome67

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Chicken pot pie or chicken ala king." - sattersnaps

"Fried catfish, greens, and red beans and rice." - User Unknown

"Shepherds pie, technically cottage pie if it’s ground beef. Homemade enchiladas, usually made as a layered casserole instead because I don’t have time to roll them. Pork chops with mashed potatoes and veggies." - XerTrekker

"Fried rice with chicken or pork leftovers." - AlternativeResort181

"Hot hamburgers: hamburger patty open face on Texas toast thickness bread, cover with fries then cover that with brown gravy. Wife's variation is hamburger patty over rice with brown gravy." - EnricoMatassaEsq

@past_archives
American Gen X Foods That Kids Today Can’t Understand#nostalgia #childhoodmemories #backtochildhood #90s #2000s #usa #80s #90skids #80schildhood #capcutforus #capcut #capcutpioneer #America

"Stuffed peppers. I make it much more easily by cooking it all in one large frying pan 'deconstructed'. Sauté onions garlic and ground beef, add cut up peppers, tomatoes or tomato sauce, sometimes a little spinach, then add separately cooked rice, salt and pepper and serve. It comes together pretty quickly and tastes just as good as stuffing and baking peppers in the oven." - Affectionate-Map2583

"Macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Seriously, that’s what I ate tonight." - Dazzling-Walrus9673

"Homemade Stroganoff casserole. Ridiculously easy to make. Ingredients:

1.25-1.5 lbs. Ground Beef
1 each of large white onion, green pepper, and red pepper
1 can mushroom pieces, drained and rinsed
12 oz. Bag of wide egg noodles
1 can cream of mushroom soup
16 oz. Sour cream
Worcestershire Sauce
Louisiana Hot Sauce
White or Black Pepper
Panko bread crumbs

To Make: Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Worcestershire, hot sauce, garlic powder, and pepper are all to taste, depending on how much flavor and punch you want it to have. Cook noodles per instructions. Drain. Peel and slice onion (not diced), core and cut peppers into strips Brown meat, onions and peppers along with liberal amount of Worcestershire; garlic, pepper, and hot sauce. Add mushrooms. Cook until meat is fully brown, onions are translucent and peppers are tender. Drain. Combine drained meat, etc. with whole can of soup, half of the sour cream. Gradually add noodles into the mix. Add sour cream as needed to maintain consistency. Add Worcestershire, hot sauce, and pepper to taste. Dump into large, deep Corning dish or whatever. Cover too with bread crumbs. Cover and bake for forty minutes." - CynfullyDelicious

This article originally appeared last year

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People share the '10 second decisions' that meaningfully improved their lives forever

Proof that our fate is made up of a series of tiny choices.

reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuition

Image via Canva

A woman at a fork in the road.

The average adult makes upwards of 35,000 decisions a day. These can include the bigger, more existential questions that require reflection to weigh the pros and cons. But the vast majority of decisions seem insignificant: What will I wear today? Order takeout or make food at home? Podcast or playlist? Still, these fleeting impulse choices can play just as big a role in our lives as the more thought-out ones.

Prime examples of this were recently made on Reddit, when people were asked to share a "decision you made in under 10 seconds that changed your life forever." These seemingly insignificant choices changed fates in profound ways.

“Decided to go to Subway instead of Dairy Queen. They were across the street from each other and I was passing through town during lunchtime. Ended up hitting it off with the woman making my sandwich. Next week is our 11 year anniversary.”

“My best friend said she wanted to move 2000+ miles across the country back to her home state and asked me if I wanted to come. I didn’t think, said ‘Yup, I’ll go.” We moved, less than a year afterwards I met my now wife. Couldn’t be happier.”

“Said yes to adopting a stray dog that followed me home. 10-second 'sure why not' moment—now he's my best buddy for 8 years.”

A van travels down the road. Photo credit: Canva

Others were able to uncover new passions they never imagined.

“I flipped a coin to decide if I was going to quit my job. Heads. I quit. A friend saw my lights on that night and stopped by to see what I was doing. I told him what happened, and he told me it was great timing. They let someone go at his job that day. He set me up with an interview for the next day, and I was hired. There were only three people who worked there. I eventually became the plant manager and have been working in management ever since!”

“Saw a random advert advertising scuba diving certification. I signed up thinking ‘why not?’ I’m now an aspiring diving instructor!”

“Early 20s and my sister asked me to drive her to the music shop to buy a guitar. I point one out and say ‘that black and gold one is gorgeous. Get that one.’ She tries it out and says ‘ehhh, I dunno if I really feel this one.’ I tell her that if she doesn't buy it, I will, and she says ‘you don't even play guitar! What are you gonna do with it?’ Walked out of the store with it on a complete whim, spent 3 months learning before I started doing open mics, making friends at the music shop, joining a band, and having the time of my life throughout my 20s.”

A person plays the guitar. Photo credit: Canva

For some, a 10-second decision ended up with an unexpected windfall.

“Decided not to get into an elevator with my ex and her new boyfriend, so I took the stairs instead. On the third flight, I found a discarded scratch-off ticket that ended up being worth $50,000. It’s the only time in my life where being socially awkward actually paid off my mortgage.”

“A family in my marina announced that they are moving away the following week. They were going to turn their sailboat over to a broker to sell it for them. I mentioned that I was contemplating a larger boat with a smaller engine and would be interested in theirs. I asked what price would they consider? He said, $10k. I said, okay, and we shook on it. The boat was worth over $24k. I got a wheelbarrow from the marina corral and removed stuff from my smaller boat, walked it over to their dock, and loaded it onboard. That was ten years ago, and I still live on it six months out of the year. Sweet.”

Sometimes, these kinds of life-altering changes are simply fresh new outlooks on life.

“I was going through old text messages with my then girlfriend and realized I had become a very negative person. I decided right there to always look for the bright side of things. It takes some effort but that was 12 years ago and I'm much happier. It becomes second nature after a while.”

A man smiles. Photo credit: Canva

In many instances, a 10-second decision prevented tragedy for themselves or others.

“Most of these answers are super happy and mine really isn’t but fits the question. Mine would be double checking on my wife before bed. She suffers from PTSD, depression and anxiety and had just been ‘off’ all day. I checked with her a couple times and she said everything was alright each time. It might sound weird but she was too happy and calm but kind of sad at the same time. It just didn’t sit right with me. She said she was going to bed and we kissed and I asked again she chucked and said to stop worrying. She went upstairs and I waited a few seconds and went up to say I think something is wrong. I stopped her from committing suicide that night. Normally I would take her for her word but that decision was 12 years ago and we are having the best version of our lives because I listened to my gut and went and checked.”

“One night I drove home from working evening shift (like 2 miles) and when I glanced in the rear view I had chills when I saw the headlights behind me at a red light. I got to my house and was about to park but then heard a voice in my head tell me to keep driving, so I did… and they continued to follow me. Called my dad to stay on the phone as I drove to a police station. Car stopped following when a cop car pulled up behind us (coincidentally). Next morning read about an armed carjacking in the area about an hour later.”

“In middle school my best friend invited me to Knott's Berry Farm with another group of kids he was friends with…I got to my friend’s house after running some errands with my mom. There were 5 kids aged 14-15 there. I asked my friend how we were getting [to Knott's Berry] and he said he was driving his dad’s car (he was underage and had no license). I was nervous but I wanted to look cool so, I said ok. Right before we got into the car, I had the worst feeling come over me. In approximately 5 seconds, I felt a drop in my stomach to a bottomless pit, a hot flash followed by chills, and intense nausea. I literally left without making a sound, running to a nearby Starbucks and using a stranger's phone and asking my mother to pick me up. I felt so embarrassed. I knew I was going to get shit all month from my friend…A few hours later, they were on their way home on the freeway and lost control of the vehicle. All 5 died.”

A damaged vehicle sits on the side of a road. Photo credit: Canva

What about when you can't decide?

And yet, for some (make that many) of us, knowing that every decision is uniquely important can be a major source of anxiety, causing us to freeze via “analysis paralysis” and not choose at all—which, in itself, is a choice (they’re inescapable!). In fact, our brains tend to struggle more with less risky decisions.

Interestingly, experts seem to suggest combating this ambivalence with tools that force a quick deadline. You can either toss a coin or set a time limit, which would arguably incite one of these potentially life-changing 10-second decisions.

Life will inevitably call on us to make both long, thought-out decisions and to go with our gut. But hopefully, this reminds us that even our whims can lead to something truly pivotal without making us lose our minds.

Seniors ranting about their friend Barbara cheating at Mahjong is the Internet's best new reality show

"The Barbara Chronicles are giving me life."

mahjong, senior citizens, viral videos, funny videos, elderly

Allison Novak/Instagram

A woman named Debbie helps explain Mahjong-gate.

If you've ever watched seniors play Mahjong, you know they're not messing around. Some might find it complicated. A player's guide explains, "Mahjong is a 4-person game of skill and chance that originated in China." It involves numbered tiles, winds, dragons, flowers, and jokers. It's serious business that, while fun and an excellent way to stretch the mind, can lead to actual fights.

No fight has been more dramatic than what happened between Allison Novak (@allisonnovak) and her family. While visiting her parents in Florida (an escape from the cold Minnesota winter where they all usually reside), Novak, alongside her brother, sister, husband, and son, piled into the car en route to the airport. From there, we get the full rundown on "Mahjong-gate."

@alllisonnovak
My mom telling me about the mahjong drama at her retirement community. #mahjong #mahjongtable #drama #retirement #florida

According to Allison's mother, Cynthia, a woman named Barbara allegedly cheats at this game—and the other players aren't having it. She shared, "We're done with her. We're not playing with a cheater anymore."

Cynthia goes on to explain an "incident" regarding tapping tiles. "They tapped it. They put it down. And I said, 'Oh damn. I wanted that tile.' And Sharon goes, 'Just take it.' And Barbara said, 'No, I tapped it already.'"

From there, it takes a dramatic turn: "Last night, Barbara did some stuff that was outright…I mean really bad." She explains another tapping incident before explaining the etiquette of Mahjong: "So when you Mahjong, meaning you won, you have to show all your tiles to prove it. Kinda like bingo. But she takes her tiles and flips them over so no one really knows what she really had."

These videos have become a massive hit online. On TikTok alone, the first in the series was so popular it has nearly 5,000 comments.

"Barbara is mentioned thousands of times in the Mahjong Files," jokes one TikToker, a comment itself garnering over 7,000 likes.

"The secret lives of Mahjong Wives," another comments, putting a spin on the popular reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Lives.

The Mahjong saga was so popular it has now become a series, with each video clip more exciting and dramatic than the last. (Novak has put menacing music underneath the dialogue, adding to the already terrifying tension.)

@alllisonnovak
The Real Housewives of Mahjong Mannor update!!! 🚨🚨🚨 #mahjong #mahjongtable #drama #retirement #florida

In Part Two of the series, Cynthia's friend Debbie (while chatting with their other friends Bud, Diane, and Ralph) says, "Oh, she looks like this innocent little lady. She goes to church. Like I told them, I don't go to Mahjong to see how well I can cheat. You want to play the game."

She complains that Barbara never bothers to change her game up, which the others find frustrating. From there, the conversation goes left, escalating into a possible murder accusation. (They're joking, of course, but you'll have to watch the video to see for yourself.)

Commenters from Instagram and Threads are also getting in on the fun by treating the saga like the soap opera/reality show it is. Many point out the pronunciation of Mahjong as "Mar-Jawn," which adds an extra element of delight.

"The Barbara Chronicles are giving me life," reads one of the comments. Another points out how quickly it all escalated, saying, "The jump from cheating to murdering your own husband…LOVE IT."

In Part Five, Allison summarizes the whole affair, which leads to Barbara’s banishment from the game. At one point, Barbara runs away, and they chase after her with a camera. We then see a black screen with a chyron reading, "As of this recording, Barbara has declined all interview requests. Sources close to Barbara declined to comment. Some questions remain unanswered."

On Threads, one person noted that not everything is always as it seems. "This is one of those documentaries where Barb walks in for her talking head interview in the last ten minutes and blows it all up."

@alllisonnovak
And that’s Mahjong 🀄️ #finalscene #barbaramahjong #mahjong #mahjongdrama #secretlives

Novak told Upworthy how it all began:

"My brother, sister, and I (and my husband and son) visit them every year. My mom and dad picked us up from the airport and immediately started telling me about the drama regarding Barbara. I couldn't help but laugh, and I was like, 'I need to record this!'"