Op-Ed: We can no longer pass the buck on climate action

Society must be unwavering in pursuit of social and environmental justice.

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women holding signs during daytimePhoto credit: Photo by Callum Shaw on Unsplash

Voices from every part of the world have been calling for action on climate change and the rapid loss of nature for decades, but too many in power have ignored this growing chorus. Even today, with the impacts of climate change starkly evident, many leaders contend that now is *not* the time to take measures to halt or reverse climate change. And despite mounting evidence pointing to the market growth potential of green technology adoption, concerns over the cost of saving the planet at the expense of sparing the global economy from short-term pain have become the preferred stalling tactic.


We have now arrived at the end of a very long line of “passing the buck” from generation to generation, and might well run out of time before enough gatekeepers in government and business are convinced to act. Concerned only with near-term growth, they could cause the loss of everything in the next decade, including the very ecosystems that they and everyone on earth depend upon for survival and well-being.

On September 23rd, young people all over the world participated in a strike to make that point. The largest generation of youth in history, we represent a massive wave of voters, workers, and consumers who see the direct link between climate action now and the world’s future stability. Our strike underscored the dwindling options available to avert calamity and promote justice for communities bearing the greatest climate change burden.

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Our strength comes from common experience. While our day-to-day lives look different depending on the places we live and languages we speak, we are unified by the grim likelihood of an unlivable future. That realization is based on two facts: climate is changing faster than anticipated, evident in the science and increased headlines of widespread wildfires and floods, scorching temperatures, agricultural failures, and vast injustices; and too many of our leaders continue the longstanding tradition of ignoring the threat.

We are not only striking, we are also acting. From Indigenous youth on the frontlines against destructive megaprojects like the US’s Line 3 pipeline and the Philippines’ Gened Dam, to child plaintiffs pursuing environmental justice in the courts – everywhere you look, youth are acting for systemic change. We won’t do it alone; we need those from every generation who understand the urgency of the climate crisis to join us to address its root causes in concrete ways. Here’s where to start:

Society must be unwavering in pursuit of social and environmental justice. Despite contributing the least to climate change, countries and communities across the global south suffer the most severe climate impacts. At the same time, violence against environmental defenders is disproportionately concentrated in this region, overwhelmingly directed at Indigenous Peoples. Every decision must be rooted in a respect for human rights.

We need a transformation of our economic systems. We are living through the dire results of adherence to an economic status quo that expects infinite growth from finite resources. We must actively resist the culture of extraction and acquisition, working to heal our relationship with nature, taking heed of the wisdom of Indigenous Peoples and their stewardship of the land.

We need innovative educational systems that nurture critical thinkers and incorporate traditional knowledge and Indigenous wisdom that support clean economies, setting people up for success in sustainable energy and agriculture. Education has the power to unlock solutions and reshape values, producing lasting change, steering us towards a sustainable, peaceful, equitable future.

Most of all, we need immediate action. This crisis is not happening in some blurry, distant future; it’s happening now, everywhere. We are experiencing the consequences of systems built on power and greed, and people are dying because those in power have decided money is worth more than human life.

The complexity and scale of today’s environmental crises are enough to leave even committed optimists frozen with fear, but the mass mobilization of youth is proving it doesn’t have to be this way. Our generation is carving an identity of perseverance, accountability, and determined resistance to unjust, unsustainable systems. We are bringing our collective voices to international policy processes through self-organized channels, calling for proactive steps toward meaningful youth participation.

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This will feel immediately familiar to all who have acted for the environment in the past. Your generation will remember how many in power were quick to dismiss your calls for change. You may have experienced what we face now; in hostile spaces, we are silenced, criminalized, or intentionally misinterpreted to preserve the status quo. Elsewhere, our calls for justice are condescendingly referred to as ‘inspiring,’ but apparently not inspiring enough for those in power to act.

By joining our voices, we can’t be silenced. Our collective future depends on being heard and seen at this crucial moment for our planet.

Katharina Maier and Sefa Tauli are youth activists with Fridays for Future U.S. and the Global Youth Biodiversity Network (GYBN), respectively. Together, they’re writing on behalf of YOUNGO, the Children and Youth constituency to United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change; the Secretary General’s Youth Advisory Group on Climate Change; and The Major Group of Children and Youth to UN Environment (UNEP-MGCY), which represents over a million young climate and nature advocates across six continents.

  • Social skills expert shares 3 ‘magic phrases’ that make you more likable
    Vanessa Van Edwards and people at a party. Photo credit: via Press Release and Canva/Photos

    A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable.

    There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual.

    “We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

    To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below.

    Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’

    “You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ was just thinking of you. It has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.”

    Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’

    “So if you’re with someone and you’re impressed by them or they’re interesting or they’re funny, say, ‘You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.’ Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it’s fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued.

    Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’

    “We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’”

    If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing bond to build on.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • 4 everyday phrases that may indicate someone is highly intelligent
    Einstein in a hoodie on a mural.Photo credit: Photo by Taton Moïse on Unsplash

    So often, we equate intelligence with standardized testing, or say, degrees or rank in a graduating class. The person who has a 4.0 GPA and high SAT score probably is pretty book-smart. And sure, various amounts of degrees do imply that most likely they’ve had a lot of education.

    But there is another measure of intelligence that is often overlooked: the ability to be wrong. A doctor named Emma Jones, MD (self-described hospice doctor and “burnout coach”) has recently gone viral on social media for a video wherein she talks about intelligence. The clip is entitled “Here’s how you know someone is highly intelligent.” In just a couple of minutes, she lays out ways you can easily spot someone who is ultra-bright.

    Quoting Oscar Wilde, she says, “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” She then explains that he meant, “highly intelligent people know how to change their minds.”

    Here’s where the phrases of (most likely) highly intelligent people come in. She says to listen for sentences like:

    “I used to think…”

    “That’s a good point.”

    “Let me reconsider.”

    “I’ve changed my mind.”

    She adds, “Most people double down to protect their ego. But intelligent people update their beliefs. They get more curious instead of more defensive. And they ask things like ‘what am I missing?’ instead of trying to win an argument. They don’t tie their identity to being ‘right.’ And they treat being wrong like data, not humiliation.”

    She also quotes Albert Einstein, who once said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” She notes that the “real flex” is being able to have your mind changed “without shame.”

    The comments, and there are thousands in just a short amount of time, support the notion. One (somewhat sarcastically) writes, “So in other words, you’re saying that intelligence correlates with a combination of critical thinking skills and the humility to know that oneself doesn’t know everything?”

    Another jokes, “I used to say that my ‘need to be right’ is so strong that if someone shows me a better path, or shows me that my thinking is off, I will quickly recalibrate and change my mind so I can be ‘right’ again.” Jones responds to this: “That is quite a strong and intelligent reframe.”

    Another Instagrammer backs it up with a book they love, writing, “One of the best books I have ever read is called But What If We’re Wrong by Chuck Klosterman. I base most of my life on the assumption that some part of the system is built on inherently incorrect information. It makes it easier to be flexible and make connections to other information that may have otherwise been missed.”

    But, of course, admitting there’s usually room for debate and the ability to change one’s mind is just one of many signs someone is intelligent. Writer and reviewer Jordan Cooper shared his subtle signs someone might be intelligent in an article for VegOut.

    Among eight examples, his first is “talking to yourself out loud,” which I mentioned in a recent Upworthy article. He adds, “A 2012 study in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology showed that talking out loud can actually improve focus and object recognition. Why? Because verbalizing engages additional sensory channels. When you speak your thoughts aloud, you’re not just thinking—you’re hearing yourself think, which reinforces memory and decision-making. Einstein did it. So do a ton of high-performers who swear by this trick for brainstorming, debugging their code, or preparing for presentations.”

    richard pryor, intelligence, openness, being wrong
    Richard Pryor admits he was wrong. Giphy

    Other examples, some of which have also been pointed out on Upworthy over the years, are: “zoning out,” “being sensitive to noise, light or texture,” “having messy handwriting,” “swearing a lot,” and to the earlier point, “doubting your intelligence constantly.” (In other words, staying open to being wrong.)

    So, while having good grades and a plethora of degrees is excellent, always being open to learning and changing course adds a layer to any good mind.

     

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Philosophy expert shares the 300-year-old rule to tell if someone is a good or bad person
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and a scene at a restaurant.Photo credit: via Canva/Photos and G.Meiners/Wikimedia Commons

    What makes a ‘good person’ is hard to quantify, but sometimes, you just know it when you see it. But that’s the problem, you can’t always see it. Have you ever met somebody new and wondered if they were a good person with a mischievous streak or a bad person who can turn on the charm and behave occasionally? Determining someone’s true moral character is important, especially if you start dating them or have a business relationship. It is crucial to get to the core of who they are and know whether they can be trusted.

    Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared a great way to determine whether someone is good or bad. His rubric for judging someone’s moral character comes from a quote commonly attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet, playwright, novelist, and intellectual known for works like Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

    How can you tell if someone is a good or a bad person?

    “Here’s a pretty good indicator that somebody is a bad person and vice versa, how you can spot a good one. And this goes back to a simple rule, a moral aphorism by Goethe in which he writes, ‘Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,’” de Medeiros shared in a TikTok video with over 45,000 views.

    “Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    De Medeiros then provided real-world ways to determine whether the person you have questions about is good or bad. “A bad person is unfriendly to strangers, to the elderly, to children, to service staff, to anybody they’re not trying to impress,” he said. At the same time, the good person treats people equally, no matter what they can do for him. They’re good for goodness sake, not to get anything out of it.

    “A good person carries grace within them and shares it freely with abundance. A good person treats other people as they would like to be treated as well. And it doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter what your status is, they will treat you and see you as their equal,” de Medeiros said.

    What is ‘The Waiter Rule’?

    Goethe’s quote echoes the common red/green flag test that many people have on dates. Sure, it’s important if your date is courteous and treats you well on the date, but you really want to watch how they interact with the server. The rule is often called “The Waiter Rule,” outlined by William Swanson. Swanson, the former chairman and CEO of Raytheon Company, wrote in his book, 33 Unwritten Rules of Management, “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter—or to others—is not a nice person.” Boxer Muhammad Ali is also known for saying something similar: “I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position.”

    Rudeness toward the waitstaff also indicates that the person isn’t very smart. It’s not wise to be rude to someone who is in charge of your meal for the night.

    Conversely, a good person is kind to others without looking for anything in return because they want to spread joy and believe that others deserve respect. You are what you do, not what you think or believe, and when someone treats others with goodness, it’s a clear indicator of the type of person they are.

    In the end, we are all a mixed bag of behaviors and attitudes, and even the most perfect of us has a devil on their shoulder telling them that it’s okay to occasionally get into a bit of mischief. However, when it comes down to determining someone’s core character, how they treat those who can do nothing for them says everything.

     

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • People share the home remedies their families swear can fix any ailment
    A can of Diet Coke and Vicks VapoRub.Photo credit: Flickr
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    People share the home remedies their families swear can fix any ailment

    Here are 11 “cure-alls” people have been using for generations.

    Most families have health traditions passed down for generations that may not be 100% FDA-approved. But there’s something to be said for being sick as a kid and having your mother or grandmother give you Saltine crackers and 7UP for an upset stomach, or rub some Vicks VapoRub on your back when you have a cold.

    Even though it’s not exactly what the doctor would order, these traditions, which may have started long before modern medicine, connect us across generations and are an important part of a family’s fabric. Being there for each other when you’re feeling bad is what family is all about.

    sick child, sick kid, temperature, thermometer, care
    A sick child. Photo credit: Canva

    A Redditor asked fellow users to share their family “cure-alls,” and received plenty of responses from folks who have sworn by these remedies for generations.

    Here are 11 of the best responses to the question: “What’s that one ‘cure-all’ home remedy every family seems to have?”

    1. Ginger tea

    “In my house, it’s ginger tea with honey for EVERYTHING, Cold? Ginger tea. Stomach ache? Ginger tea. Bad mood? Yep… ginger tea. At this point, I’m convinced it’s our family’s official medicine.”

    “In ginger tea’s defense, ginger is scientifically proven to have a soothing effect for nausea/stomachache! It’s not super strong, but it’s something.”

    If your family prescribed ginger tea when you were sick with the stomach flu, they were actually doing a good thing. According to Johns Hopkins, ginger is good for nausea and helps fight bloating and gas.

    2. Vicks VapoRub

    “For my mother-in-law, it’s Vicks.”

    “I’m Latina and yeah. I’ve had a lot of allergies in my life, so it’s genuinely helped me a lot. I put some on my nose when I’m congested, and it sometimes clears my breathing a bit. If I have sniffled my nose to the point of being sore, it helps reduce the soreness. I put it on my temples when I get a congestion headache. It also helps dull skin itching. It will not replace medicine or an antihistamine if that’s what’s needed. But if you need to keep from scratching, the cooling sensation helps. I use it on bug bites all the time, and I have eczema, so I put it on itchy, irritated skin to prevent myself from scratching it raw. My mom tells me she used to have to eat it (do NOT ingest Vicks) by the spoonful whenever she got sick. And if anyone gets a cut, my grandma recommends Vicks in place of an antibacterial ointment. It’s technically not recommended for open wounds, but apparently it does have some mild antifungal properties due to the camphor? I don’t use it on cuts lol.”

    vick's, vaporub, remedies, vapor, health, sickness
    A tub of Vicks VapoRub. Photo credit: Ajay_Suresh/Flickr

    3. Gargle with salt water

    “Gargle with warm salt water, for any ailment north of the ankles.”

    4. Vinegar

    “Vinegar. I’m a redhead, and when I got sunburnt, mom always put vinegar on me.”

    “My mom did this, too. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to do for the sunburn.”

    Unfortunately, vinegar isn’t going to help a sunburn. In fact, it can dry out your skin, making the sunburn worse.

    5. Ginger ale

    “In Michigan, nearly everything can be cured with a warm Vernors.”

    vernor's, ginger ale, midwest, remedies, cure-alls
    A 6-pack of Vernor’s Ginger Ale. Photo credit: Bill Walsh/Flickr

    6. Diet Coke

    “Not really a home remedy, but I swear, Diet Coke cures most of my ills. Headache, stomachache, heartache…it always makes me feel better.”

    “I don’t drink Diet Coke very often. BUT, I do when I have a headache or stomachache. Works most of the time!”

    7. Pretending you aren’t sick

    “Pretending they aren’t sick. One section of my family is wealthy and narcissistic. They think 1) they are ‘above’ being ill, and 2) as long as they don’t admit to being sick, they aren’t. It’s wild. Also, if they catch a cold, they always say it’s allergies. Then they continue to go out in public, spreading their germs everywhere. They can’t possibly be contagious, since it’s just allergies.’ So gross.”

    Thinking you aren’t sick probably won’t keep you from catching a virus. However, studies show that being mindful, meditating, relaxing, and practicing yoga can help reduce the painful symptoms of an illness.

    8. Oreos

    “My uncle took Oreos with him on the troop ship to Europe during World War II, and never got seasick. Since then, Oreos are my family’s first line of defense.”

    9. Jell-O

    “Jello, specifically orange jello.”

    “My mom would make me hot jello water (you know, like the form it’s in before you put it in the fridge to set). I have no idea why she did this. But I have not introduced it to my kids, or they would always pretend to be sick!”

    jell-o, organge jell-o, gelatin, desert, remedies
    Orange Jell-O. Photo credit: Matt Reinbold/Flickr

    10. Honey

    “Once my kids were old enough, I gave them a teaspoon of honey when they were under the weather. It seemed to help their sore throat and cough.”

    “I actually have a bottle of honey just for being sick because it coats my throat lol.”

    11. Chamomile tea

    “Grandma swore chamomile tea worked for any stomach upset or nausea. For head colds, Vicks VapoRub, under the nose, on the chest and back, around the neck, followed by inhaling the vapors of the Vicks melted in boiling water. You had to sit under a towel inhaling the steam until the water was cold. She’d then bundle you into bed with the towel around your head and piled on the blankets to make you sweat. You could only get out of bed when you stopped sweating. Hated it cause u don’t like the smell of eucalyptus and felt gross after the sweating part of the treatment.”

  • The ancient, brilliant reason we divide days into 60-minute hours and 60-second minutes
    How we measure days and hours has evolved over millennia.Photo credit: Canva

    Humans have devised many ways of measuring things in an attempt to learn more about our world, including numerical systems that help get us all on the same page. But we haven’t always agreed. The ongoing battle between the imperial and metric systems demonstrates the challenge of standardizing measurement. As most of the world uses the base-10 metric system, the United States remains the primary imperial holdout.

    But one thing we agree on is how we measure time, or at least how we measure hours and seconds. And oddly enough, it’s not using the metric system. Why is that? How did we decide to split days into 60-minute hours and 60-second minutes instead of splitting them into, say, hundredths?

    Clock face with minutes and seconds
    Why 60-minute hours and 60-second minutes? Photo credit: Canva

    Why there are 24 hours in a day

    Let’s start with how we got the 24-hour day. We measure time, in general, by years using the Earth’s full orbit of the sun. But we could really split that year up any way we choose. The rising and setting of the sun gives us a framework for days, so that’s a helpful divisor. However, daylight length varies greatly from place to place and from season to season. So how did we land on 24 hours in a day?

    We have the ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, and Greeks—and their affinity for duodecimals (counting by 12)—to thank for that. They each had a way of breaking light and dark hours into 12 parts each, giving us a 24-part day. However, those 12 parts were not measured equally.

    According to Scientific American:

    “The concept of fixed-length hours, however, did not originate until the Hellenistic period, when Greek astronomers began using such a system for their theoretical calculations. Hipparchus, whose work primarily took place between 147 and 127 B.C., proposed dividing the day into 24 equinoctial hours, based on the 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness observed on equinox days. Despite this suggestion, laypeople continued to use seasonally varying hours for many centuries. (Hours of fixed length became commonplace only after mechanical clocks first appeared in Europe during the 14th century.)”

    Why there are 60 minutes in an hour

    Oddly enough, the need for a standard way to divide 12-hour days and nights into smaller parts led us back to ancient times once again. The Babylonians used a sexagesimal (base-60) system to make astronomical calculations, which they had inherited from the Sumerians, who used it around 2000 B.C.

    What makes 60 special? With 12 divisors (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 15, 20, 30, 60), it can be evenly divided in more ways than any other number up to and including 100, which has only nine divisors.

    Using that system, Greek astronomer Eratosthenes (276 to 194 B.C.) divided a circle into 60 parts to measure latitude. Hippocrates honed this sexagesimal (base-60) system by adding in longitude a century later. Ptolemy later improved those measurements, subdividing the 360 degrees of latitude and longitude into smaller parts.

    The first 60 parts became known as partes minutae primae, or “minutes.” The second division of 60 became partes minutae secundae, or “second minute” (what we now call seconds).

    A compass shows 360 degrees
    Minutes and seconds were first used in geography, not time measurement. Photo credit: Canva

    Those minutes and seconds were used for measuring latitude and longitude, not time, but a circle is a circle. The very first round clock displays divided hours into halves, thirds, quarters, and even twelfths, but not sixtieths. The 60-minute hour didn’t become popularized until minutes were put on mechanical clocks at the end of the 16th century. The spread of the Gregorian calendar around that time also helped universalize how humans measured time, but countless questions remained about the precision of timekeeping.

    Exactly how long is a second?

    After all, how long is a second exactly? We can measure it as a division of larger units of time, but on its own, how do we determine a standard for it? Precision and standardization in timekeeping became more and more important as things like train travel, where people had to know what time a train would arrive or depart, became more common.

    That happened in 1967, when researchers gathered at the 13th General Conference of the International Committee for Weights and Measures. Among other things, they debated which element to use as the standard for atomic clocks. Ultimately, they landed on Cesium-133, which had been used in atomic clock research since the 1950s.

    The video above explains exactly how and why scientists chose that element and made the calculation, but the result was that a second became formally defined as exactly 9,192,631,770 ticks of a Cesium-133 atom.

    That may be far more than you ever wanted to know about time measurement. But isn’t it fascinating how a combination of ancient wisdom and modern technology gave us 60-minute hours and clocks that can tell us, down to the second, what time it is anywhere in the world? Aren’t humans amazing?

  • 3 types of ‘effortless’ psychology-based opening lines to start a conversation with anyone
    A teenage girl and boy having a nice chat. Photo credit: Canva/Photos

    You’re standing in line at the grocery store and you see someone cute. You’d like to strike up a conversation without it being awkward…but that feels kinda nerve-wracking, right? Or maybe you’re standing around at a party and see someone you’d like to get to know, and want to approach them in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable. That probably feels a little scary, too.

    The good news is that with a few easy tricks, you can improve your communication skills and feel confident approaching anyone.

    According to years of psychological research, several principles can help make striking up conversations with strangers easier. The great thing is that they all work best when approached in a casual, effortless way.

    1. Comment on the environment

    Let’s say you’re at a party in someone’s living room. You can comment on physical objects: “Gee, this guy sure has a lot of books.” Or maybe you’re at a party where everyone brought food: “The food smells great. What are you grabbing first?” You can also comment on people’s behavior: “Is it me, or is everyone really well dressed tonight?”

    This works because of the Joint Attention Effect, which says that when two people pay attention to the same thing at the same time, they create a common point of reference. This shared focus can immediately make people feel closer, even in social situations.

    man and woman, wine, social skills, conversation
    A man and woman chatting while drinking wine. Photo credit: Canva/Photos

    2. Make a playful comment

    People will usually respond when you make a playful or unexpected comment, as long as it isn’t threatening. For example, if the person you want to talk to is holding a cocktail, you might joke, “That drink looks serious.” If you’re stuck in a long line: “Do you know why we’re here? I almost forgot why we’re in line—it’s been so long.” Or if you’re at a child’s birthday party and spot another parent you’d like to talk to: “Be honest, how tired of Little Caesars’ pizza are you?”

    This works because of the Benign Violations Theory, which suggests that when someone violates a social norm in a non-threatening way, it makes people laugh and activates bonding mechanisms. It signals to your new friend that you’re playful and friendly, and when they laugh at your joke, it shows that you share similar values.

    man and woman, people laughing, sitting on couch, good company, jokes
    A man and woman laughing on a couch. Photo credit: Canva/Photos

    3. Ask their opinion

    Another effortless way to engage someone you don’t know is to ask their opinion. For example, if you’re in the produce section at the supermarket, you might ask, “Do these peaches look good to you?” Or if you’re at a party and bring up a pop culture moment most people watched: “So, was Bad Bunny great at the Super Bowl, or is he overrated?”

    This works because of what’s known as Cognitive Ease: people are more likely to respond to questions that are easy to process. Asking someone for their subjective opinion is non-threatening, and it’s easy for them to come up with an answer that makes them feel comfortable. Plus, if social media has taught us anything, it’s that everyone loves to share their opinions.

    drinks, bar, socializing, man and woman, party
    A man and a woman having drinks at a bar. Photo credit: Canva/Photos

    Next step: Pivot and ask questions

    Given that all of these strategies are psychologically designed to elicit a response, even from someone you’ve never met, you have a strong chance of sparking a conversation. The key is to widen the exchange once you get that response by asking two more questions. In fact, a Harvard University study found that one of the easiest ways to be likable is to start a conversation with a question and then follow up with two more.

    “We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study’s authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

    These three psychological rules show that it doesn’t take a Herculean effort to coax a stranger into having a conversation. All you have to do is make an effortless invitation by tapping into the environment you share with them, make a playful joke, or ask their opinion. Then ask a few questions, listen, and there’s a good chance you’ve made a new friend.

  • Lawyer explains why everyone should do ‘mandatory hospice volunteering’ when they turn 18
    An older women side by side with a younger woman (left) A young male hospice worker and a male patient (right)Photo credit: Canva

    In a recent, thought-provoking episode of the Impact Theory podcast with Tom Bilyeu, renowned divorce attorney and author James Sexton shared how being a hospice volunteer changed his perspective on life so drastically that he thinks it should be “mandatory” at the age of 18.

    “I think it would change your entire way of viewing the world. It did mine,” he told Bilyeu.

    Sexton recalled that while death itself wasn’t necessarily the prime source of conversation—most of his volunteer work involved doing little odds and ends for folks— its presence was still palpable. And because of that, he walked out of each visit “feeling like a samurai” as all the things he thought were “so important five minutes ago” fell to the wayside.

    Death gives us perspective on what really matters

    “Spend time with people that are dying. They don’t really…all their stuff is a great big pile of nothing. Like, all that they can talk about is the people that they love, the connections that they made, and the experiences that they had that were beautiful or painful,” he said.

    That realization became even more apparent when he learned that his own mother was terminally ill with cancer, and past the point that any doctor could help her.

    “In that moment, all of the other things that I was stressed about and worried about, the volume was turned so far down on all those things because my mom was gonna die. All that became important was how I could spend a little more time with her. How can I make sure she knows that I love her? How can I savor these wonderful things?”

    Hospice volunteering could help us navigate anti-death culture

    Developing an awareness of death during early adulthood, Sexton argued, would help people not get “distracted” by a society that constantly tries make you forget that death is inevitable. Therefore, they wouldn’t pay attention to the “meaningless shit that keeps the machine moving,” and instead focus on what really matters.

    And what really matters? Important things like kissing our spouse, for example, which Sexton reminded Bilyeu (and, conversely, all of us) is a finite number of times. You won’t know what that finite number is “until you’ve passed it,” he warned.

    hospice, hospice volunteer, impact theory, impact theory podcast, tom bilyeu, apple podcast, james sexton, death
    Photo credit: Canva

    “If you don’t keep that in your line of sight, then you’re a fool. You’re gonna think you’re gonna get to do that forever. You don’t. That’s the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s what makes that so special.”

    For Sexton, being a hospice volunteer cemented this perspective, and since then, “nothing has been the same.” It didn’t mean suddenly “living life like a monk,” but it did mean sharing his love a little more freely, and appreciating that “things have to end.”

    Between hospice volunteering and working as a divorce lawyer, Sexton has become an expert of sorts with “endings,” he noted with Bilyeu. And he argues that we must look at life through this lens because the one constant is that “everything is ending all the time,” and ignoring that fact “does a great disservice.”

    A death ritual for the modern day

    American culture generally treats death with avoidance, viewing it as a taboo topic or a medical failure rather than a natural life stage. It is highly clinical and sanitized, with many dying in hospitals away from family and loved ones. While shifting toward more home-based hospice care, US society remains heavily influenced by “death-denying” attitudes, emphasizing quick, efficient mourning. Compare that to other cultures that have consistent mourning rituals, like Mexico’s Dios De Los Muertos and Japan’s Obon. Perhaps Sexton’s hospice volunteering concept could act as something similar to these traditions…a rite of passage that doesn’t have us avoiding death, but walking alongside it.

    You can watch the full Impact Theory episode here:

  • Scientists discover method for sleeping on tough problems to solve them creatively
    A woman in a sleep mask.Photo credit: via Canva/Photos

    We spend a third of our lives asleep, and during that time, our bodies and minds are restored. But wouldn’t it be great if we could also use that time to think brilliant thoughts that help us when we wake? Imagine if, while you sleep, your mind could solve problems, come up with creative ideas, and recall long-forgotten memories.

    new study by neuroscientists at Northwestern University has taken the first step toward making this possible by training people to solve difficult puzzles in their sleep.

    The researchers conducted a sleep study with 20 participants with prior experience with lucid dreaming. Participants were given a series of tough brainteasers to work on for three minutes, with each one paired with its own musical soundtrack.

    The brainteasers were difficult enough that most went unsolved. As participants went to bed in the lab that night and entered REM sleep, researchers played the soundtracks from the unsolved puzzles to encourage them to dream about them. When participants woke up the next morning, the findings were remarkable.

    A man in a sleep study. via Canva

    What the sleep study found

    Sixty percent of the participants had dreams that referenced the specific puzzles they couldn’t solve while awake. Those who dreamed about the unsolved puzzles increased their problem-solving ability from 20% to 40%.

    Karen Konkoly, a post-doctoral researcher in Paller’s Cognitive Neuroscience Laboratory, explained the findings in a press release:

    “Even without lucidity, one dreamer asked a dream character for help solving the puzzle we were cueing. Another was cued with the ‘trees’ puzzle and woke up dreaming of walking through a forest. Another dreamer was cued with a puzzle about jungles and woke up from a dream in which she was fishing in the jungle, thinking about that puzzle. These were fascinating examples to witness because they showed how dreamers can follow instructions, and dreams can be influenced by sounds during sleep, even without lucidity.”

    The study shows incredible potential for using our dreams to solve complex problems and increase creativity.

    “My hope is that these findings will help move us towards stronger conclusions about the functions of dreaming,” Konkoly said. “If scientists can definitively say that dreams are important for problem solving, creativity, and emotion regulation, hopefully people will start to take dreams seriously as a priority for mental health and wellbeing.”

    A woman in a sleep study. via Canva

    How to lucid dream using the MILD technique

    Wouldn’t it be incredible if you could tap into the power of your dreams to solve problems or generate new ideas, as the participants did in the laboratory? Even though it may sound too good to be true, there are research-backed ways to learn how to control your dreams. One of the most popular is the MILD (Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams) technique.

    Here are some steps to achieve lucidity, according to lucid dreaming instructor Daniel Love:

    Step 1: Prepare for lucidity

    Before you fall asleep, tell yourself that you will wake up and remember your dreams during each period of the night.

    Step 2: Remember your dream

    When you awaken from a dream period, do your best to recall every possible detail. Stay awake until you’ve remembered all you can.

    A lucid dream. via Canva

    Step 3: Create your intent

    As you prepare to fall back asleep, focus on the following intention: “The next time I am dreaming, I will remember to recognize that I’m dreaming.”

    Love says to think about it the same way you would think about a product you want to buy at the store.

    Step 4: See yourself as lucid

    As you focus on step three, imagine yourself back in the dream noticing that you are lucid, and rewrite the dream as if you are now in control.

    Step 5: Repeat as necessary

    Repeat steps three and four until you fall asleep. If your mind wanders from your intention, simply repeat it again.

    @inducedlucidity

    This is what I consider the most effective method to lucid dream – the mild technique #luciddreaming #luciddreams #luciddreamingtips #spirituality

    ♬ original sound – inducedlucidity
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