There can be a lot of pressure to do what our communities and peers expect of us. Some people find absolute bliss by letting go of peer pressure. Imagine the joy in doing less of what is “required” and more of what’s right for you.
A question was posed in a recent r/AskReddit thread: “What’s something you didn’t realize was optional in life until you saw someone simply not doing it?” Comments ranged from common-sense opinions to valuable life lessons. It’s a curious thought about what things we might be engaging in that aren’t actually serving us. Perhaps you will remove a few of these from your behavioral patterns.
My opinion is necessary on this
A few quick keystrokes, and our thoughts and opinions are easily shared on a seemingly endless stream of topics. Often with little repercussions, someone might even find themselves telling a professional how to apply their field of expertise properly.
“That you don’t actually have to have an opinion on everything. Watching someone say “I don’t know enough about that to comment” made me realize silence is an option too.”
Here were some clever responses to that way of thinking:
“I find such peace in not forming opinions about a lot of things.”
“it’s cheeky but liberating for me when people ask, ‘what do you think about […]?’ and I reply, ‘I don’t’”
“Social media has been the biggest driver of people thinking they have to have an opinion on everything & it has destroyed the fabric of society.”
“Some things are really, really complicated and I’m not being paid to figure them out”
It’s important to attend the events to which I’m invited
Maybe it seems like a form of rocket science to uncover the best way to excuse ourselves from something. But, perhaps it’s actually simpler to say “no thank you” than come up with an elaborate excuse.
“Saying ‘thank you for the invitation, but I/we won’t be able to make it!’ to a social invite without providing a detailed explanation about WHY you can’t attend.
These responses sum up the idea nicely:
“Usually the person you’re talking to doesn’t even care that you don’t have a reason. They were just wanting to hear yes or no”
“BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOU, KAREN!”
“when I was young my mom taught me that “No.” is a complete sentence.”
“Yes and this also applies to work if you’re using to or vacation. You earned that time, you don’t have to explain why you want to use it. Same with canceling appointments.”
Worrying about everything
It’s easy to get wrapped up in fear and worries. But how many things do we actually have the ability to change? On top of that, how many things are actually interfering with our lives and overall happiness?
“The world doesn’t end if you burn a pizza, or if the water spills over when boiling pasta. That guy who cut you off isn’t the worst part of your day, the staff member at the store checking your ID isn’t a bad person. You can just “not” react to those things, and life gets a whole lot easier.”
Redditors seemed to settle into this concept rather easily:
“I was irritated that an accident on the freeway made me late for my first day of a new job. I took a step back and realized the people involved in that accident likely wished that my issue was their problem that day.”
“I try and teach my little niece this – ‘whoopsie daisies!’ and ‘no big deal, we’ll clean it up! are common phrases my sis and I use.”
“Growing up my dad always said ‘don’t sweat the small stuff.’ Used to piss me off because he usually said it when I was arguing with my sister LOL. But now I think it’s actually such an important view to have.”
“I stress myself out about trying to do the best I can, trying to fight executive disfunction, being fast and efficient and right the first time. I really need to let that go and relax more.”
When you’re home, make yourself available
To some, this may be a novel concept that we are not at the beck and call of people. Perhaps it’s reasonable and fair to get back to others when it’s most convenient for us.
“Was casually speaking to my neighbor and she mentioned the neighborhood was getting hit hard by solicitors lately. I told her a few were selling internet plans, no name wireless, and pest control services, she looked at me like I had a horn between my eyes and asked me why I was opening my door to strangers. Made me really think about how programmed we are to answer the door, to anyone and everyone who may or may not be nefarious. So, I just stopped, because it IS weird I would open my door to someone I’m not expecting.”
People responded with their own thoughts about not answering the door:
“The doorbell and phone ringing are requests for your attention/time. You get to decide if you grant those requests”
“And you don’t have to hide from them either! Look out your front window, realize it’s a salesperson, wave, and then ignore them til they leave.”
“Years ago I realized that my door, much like my phone, is for MY convenience, not the world’s.”
“My intercom is on private. I disabled my doorbell, and less than five people know my full address. I also only speak to one neighbour. Makes for a peaceful life.”
When you start something, you must see it through to the end
Sometimes it’s hard to put things down. Just because we “started” doesn’t necessarily mean “stopping” makes us a quitter.
“This was a revelation to me, when a friend casually mentioned that he’d started reading a particular book, but it didn’t grab him, so he stopped. I pushed back because I’d somehow got the idea that if a book didn’t interest me, that was a fault in me for not getting it/trying hard enough/being smart enough, but he was like ‘it’s the authors job to make me want to keep reading’.”
Commenters agreed that it’s worth stopping before finishing:
“The same goes for TV series, movies, videogames, etc. If you’re not enjoying it or you’ve had enough you can just stop.”
“And a book can be great but still not for me. Sometimes I just can’t get into it at that point in time or ever.”
“Just because you invested money into it doesn’t mean you need to see it through to the end. Do something else.”
“Yes! For a long time I felt this need to finish any book I picked up and I forced myself through some that truly just did not mesh with me.”
Things have more value if they’re complicated
There’s something to be said for having the time and patience to work through a challenge. However, filling up our lives with complicated tasks isn’t necessarily the best plan for a more enjoyable life.
“I call myself a Darwinist about my belongings. If you can make it through the washer/dryer, or the dishwasher, then you get to survive. Saves a whole lotta hassle, and reduces expectations.”
These were some of the opinions people had around making life less complicated:
“I’ve got this great ironing hack called ‘Don’t buy clothes that need ironing.’”
“For me, it’s ‘if I can’t throw it in the dishwasher, I don’t want it in my kitchen’. Gasp in horror that I don’t follow your 5-step knife care routine, but I really dgaf.”
“Yup, I still remember the exact Sunday night years ago when I was ironing my dress shirts for work thinking to myself ‘Why am I wasting time outside of work doing work related stuff?’ That was the last time I wore clothes that needed ironing to work.”
“I know of people who iron their sheets. It doesn’t have to be like this. We can break the cycle.”
Stay true to your friends and family, no matter what
This one might be a bit more complicated than most. However, everyone has the right to determine if a friend is bringing value to the relationship.
“My closest pals through me a little party and they asked who I wanted to come and I left someone off the list that we’d normally invite. They asked and I just said: unless you guys really want her here, or if it will cause an issue, I don’t want her to come. We all know how she’ll act and I just want to have a nice time. Everyone agreed though: we’re all tired of her behaviour. So we didn’t invite her and had a wonderful time.”
These were some thoughts by other Redditors:
“Yep my mil has a huge problem with me not wanting to see or speak to their bigoted racist family. I want nothing to do with them.”
“I just hope your not dropping family because of their views / ideologies / politics, but because of how they treat you.”
“Dropping toxic friends and, most especially family, out of your life. “What do you mean you’re not inviting A**hole Uncle Frank to Thanksgiving?” “Yup!” It is soooooooo good!”
“But who’s going to complain about the Obamacare royalties if Uncle Frank doesn’t show up????”
Experts agree that letting go of these issues can make for a happier life
Learning how to adapt to what actually works in our lives is a valuable tool supported by science.
A 2025 study in BioMed Central found that hanging out with peers who engage in problematic behaviors increases depression. Learning how to protect ourselves against adopting behaviors that don’t actually serve us strongly supports emotional growth and self-esteem. A 2025 study in the Wiley Online Library found that positive self-view protected individuals from engaging in harmful behaviors. Learning how to curb unproductive habits can lead to more happiness. A 2022 study in MDPI showed that treating yourself kindly and being mindful of your emotional state and personal needs contribute to overall well-being.
