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Newt's Pro-Child-Labor, Pro-Moon-Base, Anti-Gay-Marriage, Pro-Divorce Campaign Ends Too Soon
Newt Gingrich is dropping out of the campaign today. Where will we get our insane ideas from now? Oh, HAI RON PAUL!
05.02.12
Psychologist Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling and it makes perfect sense.
It seems like most people are feeling wiped out these days. There's a reason for that.
We're about to wrap up year three of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on.
Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Despite the fact that COVID-19 is still wreaking havoc, we've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.
But why?
Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense.
In a post on Facebook, she wrote:
"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…
No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…
We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…
And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…
Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…
We can’t.
And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…
So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.
Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).
Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…
Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.
Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."
Putting it like that, of course we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness so they dive fully back into life, only to crash mid-day because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.
Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.
So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.
You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.
This article originally appeared on 12.23.22
Here's how we traveled from the U.S. to London, Athens and Vienna and back again for less than the cost of one domestic flight.
My husband and kids sitting on Ted Lasso's bench in Richmond, U.K.
Our family of five just got back from a nearly 3-week European vacation—three different cities in three different countries—and we only paid $149 cash per person for all of our flights combined.
It sounds too good to be true, but it's not. It sounds like there's got to be a catch, and there is, but not like you might think.
Welcome to the world of travel hacking, where if you learn to play the points and miles game well, you can take vacations you (or at least I) never thought possible.
I started learning about the points and miles game in the fall of 2021 via the 10xTravel free course, and I started playing in earnest myself in February of 2022. As a result, in the past year and a half, our family has taken multiple flights and stayed at multiple hotels within the United States—including some schmancy resorts—for free or very close to free. (Certain taxes and fees on flights have to be paid in cash, so there's no such thing as a 100% free flight.) But this trip to Europe was our first foray into international travel with points.
My family enjoyed the Rathaus Christkindlmarket in Vienna.
Photo courtesy of Annie Reneau
The one "catch" to travel hacking? It's a complicated, strategic long game that takes time and effort to learn. But it's totally worth it. The basic gist is that you maximize credit card sign-up bonuses to accumulate transferable credit card points or loyalty points/miles with hotels and airlines, all without spending any more money than you normally would. Then you learn how to redeem those points for travel, which makes them way more valuable than simply getting cash back.
I wrote an overview of how the game works in a previous article (which you can read here), but I figured a real-life example is the best illustration.
For this trip to Europe, I transferred 362,500 Chase Ultimate Rewards credit card points to United Airlines. (My husband and I have accumulated over 1.2 million points and miles in the past year and a half, so this trip was barely a third of our points.) That's what all of our flights to, from and around Europe cost, plus one more flight paid for with Southwest points to get all the way home. The taxes and fees for all flights came out to $149 for each of us.
The Temple of Poseidon was a favorite of the whole family.
Photo courtesy of Annie Reneau
Our original itinerary was actually US > London > Athens > Tel Aviv > US, but obviously the Israel plans changed when the war began. We switched from Tel Aviv to Vienna for our music-loving kids just a couple of weeks before we departed. The flight from Vienna back to the US cost fewer points than the Tel Aviv to US flight, which made it so our added Athens to Vienna flight was covered by points we'd already spent. (We'd originally booked a one-way cash flight from Athens to Tel Aviv. That got refunded when the flight was canceled.) And thanks to United's Excursionist Perk, our London to Athens leg also cost us zero points—we only paid taxes.
So what you see here are the fees we paid out of pocket for three flights—Spokane to London, London to Athens, and Vienna to Chicago (where we stopped to see family and friends for a few days on our way home). The Oct 15 "date of purchase" was actually the date we changed our Tel Aviv flight to Vienna—we purchased the original tickets months ago.
As you can see, the fees for these flights were $112 per person:
Fees for flights from Spokane to London, London to Athens, and Vienna to Chicago
Screenshot via Annie Reneau
Here are the taxes and fees for the Athens to Vienna leg we added after the Israel changes, which were $31.40 per person:
Taxes and fees for flight from Athens to Vienna.
Screenshot via Annie Reneau
Finally, to get back to Spokane from Chicago, we booked flights on Southwest. We have a ton of Southwest Rapid Rewards points accumulated from playing the game as well as two Southwest Companion Passes, which means two of our kids traveled with us for free (only paid fees on their flights—no points needed). So we paid 14,345 Southwest points x 3 (43,035 points total) and the fees were just $5.60 each, which brings us to our grand total of $149 per person.
We paid $5.60 each for our flight from Chicago to Spokane on Southwest.
Screenshot via Annie Reneau
To reiterate, we didn't pay anything beyond our normal spending for the points we used to get these flights. We just strategically utilized new credit cards for all of our expenses every few months. Accumulating points is actually the simpler part of the game. Figuring how to find the best redemption deals for the points is where it gets complicated and the real work comes in.
It's not like I just went on the United website, put in our dates and destinations, transferred the points and got the tickets. I spent many hours poring over different airline websites and different city combinations and dates to see where the best deals were. (We weren't tied to particular cities or dates other than our religious pilgrimage to Haifa, which didn't end up happening anyway.) It took a lot of time to find these tickets for the price we did, but again, totally worth it to save thousands of dollars.
Our whole family at the tip of mainland Greece at sunset.
Photo courtesy of Annie Reneau
If there weren't as many of us, we could also have gotten hotels on points, but with a family of five it was more affordable to book Airbnbs where we were Europe. So it's not like this vacation cost us nothing—we still had accommodations, public transportation, a car rental in Greece for exploring outside of Athens for a few days, food (pretty cheap in Greece, more expensive in the U.K. and Austria), and any museums, attractions and events we enjoyed.
But getting the flights for a song enabled us to do the rest. The cash price for the exact same flight itinerary would have cost between $6,000 and $9,000 for the whole family, especially since most of our flights were direct and at desirable times. Even if we were to see the 362,500 Chase points we used for their straight cash back value ($3,625), we still got a good deal. But those points didn't cost us anything. And our family got to take the trip of a lifetime. Travel hacking for the win.
It was the largest such event ever filmed.
All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.
They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.
They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.
Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.
For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.
A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.
As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.
Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"
"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."
There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.
That was then.
The glacier ice continues to erode away.
He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.
"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."
Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.
This article originally appeared on 11.04.15
"Most of us are not living these aesthetic perfect lifestyles."
Woman calls for less mom influencers on TikTok
The curated perfection of social media—where every room, outfit and activity feel plucked straight out of a Pinterest board—can be a soothing escape from the messiness of real life.
But let’s face it—it’s easy to get oversaturated in this type of content. And after being constantly inundated with spotless kitchens and flawless faces and endless matcha-favoring morning routines, the aspirational easily becomes aggravating.
The rise of momfluencers can be a prime example of this. Sure, many mommy bloggers offer really helpful tips, product suggestions and doses of inspiration to their followers. But at the same time, they do push an ideal that doesn’t acknowledge the messy, chaotic reality that most moms experience everyday.
And that is exactly what one mom is fed up with.
A woman named Elle (or @elledotmo on TikTok) recently shared how she was particularly tired of scrolling through her TikTok feed and finding nothing real, especially considering the app used to “be for people just being themselves and telling the truth about their lives.”
Here is what she'd like to see more of instead.
“I, as a mom, want to see people doing realistic mom things. I want to see what it's like for you to like conquer the mountain of laundry that has been you know piling up for weeks, and you have literally no idea how you're going to do it. Maybe you don’t even finish it, but that's relatable because most of us don't,” she said.
Another request: non aesthetic kitchens. Why? “Because even though we like to be minimalist there’s stuff everywhere all the time. Because who has time to wash the dishes, dry them, and actually put them away instead of just letting them sit on a dry mat on your counter for like a day and half?” Preach.
@elledotmo #stitch with @Nikki | inner thoughts only totally agree. #deinfluencing #nonaesthetic #nonaestheticmom #momvibes #momsover30 #momsbelike ♬ original sound - ✨ Elle ✨
Also: parents who have to get “creative” with their date nights since they don’t have family members to watch the kids, chaotic mornings of trying to get the kids ready for school and minivans covered with cracker crumbs.
The reason behind Elle’s desire isn’t to see “struggle or negativity” instead she explains. Rather, she feels that having relatable content is just as important.
“Most of us — due to the economy or just due to life stage that we're in — are ... not living these aesthetic perfect lifestyles where everything's all soft and cozy and sounds nice and looks nice and smells nice all day. Most of us are just trying to figure out how to, like, survive in our routines the way that they are,” she says in the clip.
To that end, Elle doesn’t want to do away with mom influencers entirely, nor does she think they will ever go away. But she does think there can be a compromise.
“It would be great to see like people realistically showing us how that they're doing that in ways that maybe we can make small tweaks in our lives to do it too or so that we can just like relate to one another and encourage one another,” she posits.
She definitely has some valuable points. And she’s clearly not the only one to want this type of content. Messy house tours have gone viral just as easily as videos of professionally designed homes. People want to be able to be inspired, but also feel seen. Luckily the internet is vast, and can cater to both needs.
The responses show that we prioritize different things in our friendships.
Friendship is an important part of leading a fulfilling life.
According to an October 2023 Pew Research Center report, 61% of adults in the U.S. say that having close friends is an essential part of living a fulfilling life—a far higher percentage than those who say the same about being married (23%), having children (26%) or having a lot of money (24%). The research also found that having more friends is linked to being more satisfied with friendships in general. Approximately 81% of people with five or more close friends share they are "completely" or "very" satisfied with their friendships, while 65% of those with one to four close friends say the same.
But what does being satisfied with friendship even mean? What earns someone the label of "friend"? Or more importantly, what does it mean to be a good friend?
We asked our audience what makes someone a good friend, and the responses were interesting. Naturally, there were some common themes, but people also had some diverse ideas about what's important in a friendship.
Some people shared short, sweet lists of traits that are essential in a friendship:
"Caring, loyal, kind and completely non-judgemental." –Annika B.
"Trustworthy, loyal, supportive, flexible, patient, understanding. Caring." – Jonathan S.
"Kind, helpful, supportive and honest." – Marjorie M.
"Conversation and laughter. Kind and caring." – Kathleen M.
"Unconditional love, laughter, and honesty." – Molly H.
"When you are a better person with them than by yourself. And kindness " – Gillian N.
"They know how to really listen without judging." – Bernadette C.
Friends laugh together.
Others offered a bit more detail:
"Being able to pick up where you left off even if some time has passed and it feels like no time has passed. Someone who will give you straight advice, but love you even if you don't follow it." – Melissa O.
"Someone you can talk honestly with, belly laugh with, but also just sit in silence with…knowing they just get you." – Lori T.
"Someone non judgemental who loves you even when you’ve struggled to love yourself. Someone who loves you unconditionally despite your flaws." – Sue H.
Friends comfort one another.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
"Kind, supportive, dependable, wants to spend time together, someone you can laugh and cry with. There on your important days, and in your time of need. And you have to be all those things for them in return." – Della D.
"They get you, allow you to be who you are, laugh with you, cry with you, no matter time or distance - you just pick up where you left off, they back you up - even when you’re not there to defend yourself." – Zan M.
"Honesty, kindness, understanding, ability to disagree without anger, trust, willing to tell each other hard truth with love, forgiveness." – Deborah H.
"They fill a need you have. There are many different kinds of friends. Childhood friends ,School friends, work friends, church friends etc...they all play a special role in your life." – Elizabeth B.
Friends don't judge.
Photo by Sam McNamara on Unsplash
And finally, some people offered specific details and personal anecdotes about their friendships:
"Sharing common interest and really caring about each other. listening is very important not just speaking to each other. My best friend of 60 years passed away a couple of years ago and I cannot tell you how much I miss her and her nonjudgmental friendship." – Carole J.
"Someone who supports you publicly and tells you hard truths privately, who cheerleads your successes and empathises your lows, who trusts you and you them. Who loves you flaws and all - but all of this you reciprocate in being a good friend. Time flies together and even after months apart you pick up like it was yesterday. Who you want to tell your big news too and your bad news too first." – Elsa P.
"Has great sense of humour, shared interests & values, compassionate, empathic, kind, doesn’t try to 'fix' me, doesn’t minimize my lived experiences as 'not so bad,' able to listen without judgment, and allows me to be there for them." – Linda H.
Friends are there through thick and thin.
Photo by Philippe Leone on Unsplash
"I don’t know, sometimes they just love you, even when you don’t want them too. You have to acknowledge them, they don’t ask for anything just want to be with you. I have a 30 yr friendship because she didn’t give up on me. I came to realize she was more forgiving and accepted me for just me. She’s not too kind, sometimes selfish but she’s there, when you get older you also accept and understand no one is perfect and if you get mad at everyone you might wind up without friends we start dying off or in old age homes. We are who we are, just love each other flaws and all. Annoying things find a way to keep friendship, not awful bad things. You guys know what I mean." – Ney C.
"Someone who knows they can call you at 2 AM, and you can do the same. Someone you house and dog sit for, whose dogs come to greet you when they hear the garage door open and who happily sit on you. Someone that refused to let you pay for Lyft to get to chemotherapy appointments, but took you each time, checked on you afterwards, brought food knowing that you didn’t feel like cooking, visited to talk about all kinds of things, and just was there for you when you were feeling the considerable side effects of chemotherapy." – Yaca A.
We all need people in our lives we can depend on, share our joys and sorrows with, and support in return. And if we have a hard time making friends, we can always rely on the wisdom of preschoolers to remind us of the basic building blocks of friendship.
It might be fictional, but it's stirring up some real feelings.
Reader reacts to "lemon pie" story
There appears to be a growing trend on TikTok: heartbreaking slice-of-life stories, told as a slideshow. These usually mimic a text conversation between two people caught in a vulnerable moment, showcasing something quite moving and profound in the mundane.
Take for instance the “orange peel story” which went viral only a couple of weeks ago. It follows two college students post break-up, one of whom still has feelings for the other. A tender exchange encourages them to believe that they will find love again.
Now, there’s a new story making the rounds, and it’s every bit as touching.
This one is called the “lemon pie” story (it’s unclear if all text-based TikTok stories should have a fruit theme), and it was written by @sappoop, who reminds us in their bio to not get too depressed by their stories, since they’re fiction.
Regardless, people are having real feelings after reading it.
It all begins with the straightforward line, “hey, we need to break up.” Presumably from the girlfriend in the relationship.
a text exchange between "Lemon" and her boyfriend
via @sappoop/TikTok
The boyfriend must have not seen it coming, because he asks if he did something to make the girlfriend upset.
“no, you’re perfect,” she replies. “it’s me.”
Blindsided, the boyfriend writes, “please tell me what’s going on,” using the pet name “lemon.”
a text exchange between "Lemon" and her boyfriend
via @sappoop/TikTok
He is only met with more cryptic answers as she writes: “My heart is in no condition to love right now.”
The girlfriend then asks if the boyfriend remembers the night they first met. She recalls that night, when she had been caught stealing lemons out of the boy’s lemon tree by his mother. The boy convinced his mother to let it all go, sparing the girl from getting into trouble. That was the night he gave her the nickname “lemon.”
To thank the boy, the girl had made him a lemon pie—which they both reminisced about being terrible.
a text exchange between "Lemon" and her boyfriend
via @sappoop/TikTok
But that nostalgic feeling is cut short when the girlfriend requests that the boyfriend not contact her again. She then blocks his number.
Only one day later, the boyfriend uses a burner phone to reach out. This doesn’t exactly go well, since his ex informs him that she will be blocking this number as well. But before she does, she makes an unusual, somewhat foreboding request:
a text exchange between "Lemon" and her boyfriend
via @sappoop/TikTok
“will you promise to regularly contact my number, even with both of your phones blocked?” she asks. “update me about your life? even if the texts don’t go through, at least i’ll have some hope in heart that you didn’t forget about me? ask me how my day was and pretend I’m responding back. will you promise to take my heart and claim it as your own?”
The boy continues trying to contact her throughout the years, all to no avail. Until one day, he does get a response from. Not from his beloved “Lemon,” but her mom, informing him that her daughter had passed away due to heart failure.
The boy’s life goes on, but he keeps his promise. He texts “Lemon” from time to time, telling her when he meets someone else, when he gets married…and finally, when he gets diagnosed with heart cancer.
“Maybe our hearts are linked after all,” he writes.
a text exchange between "Lemon" and her boyfriend
via @sappoop/TikTok
The story ends with the boy telling the girl that he picked some lemons from his mom’s house, and plans to make her a lemon pie, just as “horrible” as he remembered it.
Over 6.2 million people have read this story, with several calling it even more tragic than the popular orange peel story.
@finney_frog @🌷 <<<<< literally crying rn #lemonpie #sad #sadstories #hehim #gay #Igbt #lgbtq #achillean #trans #transgender #t4t #transmasc #nonbinary #ftm #queer #mlm #foryou #fyp #fypシ #dontflop ♬ interlinked - jacob¡
“i’m on the toilet at school sobbing rn,” wrote @zombehcorpse in the comments.
“Who makes these…I’m sobbing at 6:20 in the morning,” one person wrote.
“Yoinks this one’s got a little kick to it,” added another.
These types of stories might leave us emotionally wrecked, but we can all admit that shedding a tear over a fictional scenario feels really good once in a while. And it can be pretty good for us too. So keep these devastating TikToks coming!