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Man tells other dads to stop asking their wives one 'frustrating' question and to do this instead

So simple, yet so spot on.

dads, husbands, marriage
@dadwise.co/TikTok

Sound advice for dads

Many dads out there have the best of intentions when it comes to supporting their wives. However, those intentions can get easily turned askew with a single question:

“Is there anything I can do?”

Most likely any mom or default parent reading this sentence is instantly triggered by a time when they were asked this less-than-helpful question, which actually does little to take any load off.

And any dad or secondary parent has equally unsavory memories of asking this question and being met with a look of disdain from their partner. So fun.


One dad (@dadwise.co) has some advice: stop asking that question.

Instead, he suggests dads should “look around the house, analyze the situation, and then just tackle the first thing that seems to be interfering with the peace of the household.” For him, it’s usually tending to their toddler.

He adds that stopping your wife from what she’s doing and forcing her to delegate tasks just adds more responsibility for her. Really, the actual solution is much simpler.

“Just look around. See what needs to be done.”

Goodness. What glorious words.

@dadwise.co Dads stop doimg this. Take initiative and ownership over your household and SEE what needs to be done instead of asking #fatherhood #dadlife #extremeownership #parenting ♬ original sound - dadwise.co

“If there's dishes in the sink, do the dishes. If the kids are being crazy, take them outside and run them around. If the floor needs to be swept, sweep the floor. If the dinner needs to be made, make the dinner,” is his take.

He concluded by saying “Look around. Use your eyes. Look alive, dads. Participate. As best you know how, to the best of your abilities.”


Having to take on invisible labor—both mentally and emotionally—without support is a source of frustration for many women, and it only becomes more exhausting as they also have to juggle actual jobs and other outside responsibilities. More and more wives have grown so exasperated that they’re either publicly calling out their partners, or even going so far as divorcing them.

So, unsurprisingly, @dadwise.co’s video received a LOT of comments from women who felt so seen…if not a little angry.

“Keep telling him many times but 'he's a man we don't think the same' YOU'RE 30. YOU HAD YOUR OWN HOUSE BEFORE WE MET,” one person wrote.

Another lamented, “My husband doesn't even ask if I need help. Just watches me suffer while I do EVERYTHING. It's so draining 😭”

Other women noted how surprisingly groundbreaking his point of view actually was.

“This would take care of every argument we’ve had,” one person wrote

“This thinking will literally save your marriage,” seconded another

Hopefully, this video is also showing up on more than just worn-out women’s FYPs on TikTok. It’s a very doable mindset shift that could clearly pay dividends.

And @dadwise.co is clearly not the only husband who thinks this way. The fact that more and more men out there are noticing how to make partnerships more equitable is definitely worth celebrating.

If you’d like to follow along on more of @dadwise.co’s tips, click here.

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All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.

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