Video of a man ignoring cues that a woman is uncomfortable is a masterclass in what not to do
Ask a random woman if a man has ever made her question her safety just by talking to her, and chances are you’re going to hear an immediate yes. Not all interactions with strangers lead to discomfort, of course, and sometimes it just comes down to basic gut instinct. There are also varying levels of…
Ask a random woman if a man has ever made her question her safety just by talking to her, and chances are you’re going to hear an immediate yes. Not all interactions with strangers lead to discomfort, of course, and sometimes it just comes down to basic gut instinct. There are also varying levels of discomfort when men talk to you as a woman, from “Oof, this is awkward” to “I feel creeped out right now” to “I wonder if this guy is a serial killer.”
When a man starts talking to us in a way that makes us uncomfortable, we generally make it known in some way. Most of us won’t come out and say, “Back off, dude,” unless the behavior becomes super egregious, because 1) it may not be in our personality to be blunt, 2) we expect that the guy will take the hint eventually or 3) we sense that confronting the man would make us even more unsafe than we already feel.
More often than not, we make our discomfort clear in our body language and the way we respond to questions. Long story short, if we don’t show we’re interested, we’re not interested.
A viral video from TikTok News shows an interaction between a 19-year-old woman selling stickers at a retail shop and a man who kept asking her questions about herself. It’s a masterclass in what not to do as a guy and a perfect example of what signs to look for to determine that a woman isn’t picking up what you’re laying down.
Watch the interaction:
So first of all, after the first few questions about her age and where she goes to school, the guy should have gotten the clue that she was not interested in conversing with him further. Her answers were short and to the point. She didn’t offer any additional details, nor did she reciprocate with questions about him. If a woman is interested after you strike up a conversation, she will not answer your questions this way.
She didn’t add what she’s studying or whether she likes school. She didn’t ask, “How old are you? Do you go to school?” She shows no interest whatsoever in keeping the conversation going.
Second of all, her body language is a clear indicator. She’s not smiling warmly. She’s not leaning casually over the counter toward him. She doesn’t go over to him when he asks for help. She stands still, fidgets sometimes and only moves when she needs to in order to do her job.
This is the body language of a woman who is uncomfortable. Not “just shy.” Not “playing hard to get.” Uninterested and uncomfortable, clearly.
Why wouldn’t she just refuse to answer his questions, or be direct and tell him to leave her alone? For one, she’s working. He’s her customer. There’s a certain level of courtesy and friendliness that is customary and expected from an employee working with the public. And it’s not always easy to gauge exactly when it crosses the line into inappropriate-enough-to-say-something. While this guy’s behavior got creepier and creepier as he ignored her cues that she wasn’t interested, nothing he said was clearly problematic.
That’s part of what is so frustrating about interactions like this. It’s not like the guy is being gross or saying anything over the top. It’s the relentlessness that’s the issue. Question after question about her life. Some might say he was trying to be friendly or “just making conversation.” No, he wasn’t. Conversation is a two-way street. It’s not a man peppering a woman with personal questions continually as she gives one-word answers and clearly doesn’t want to keep talking.
Is it possible that he just isn’t good at reading social cues? Sure. Is it possible that he thought he was flirting and that she would feel flattered by it? Sure. Is she still uncomfortable? Yes. Is his refusal to give up still creepy and inappropriate? Yes.
I’d venture a guess that nearly every woman out there has been in this young woman’s shoes, unsure of whether our safety is at risk. It’s easy to say, “Oh, come on. He was just talking.” But this is a man who doesn’t seem to respect boundaries in conversation—why would she expect him to respect boundaries in any other way?
Women constantly have to calculate whether men who make us uncomfortable are just awkward or if they are a threat, and it sucks. Just as we have to look for signs of potential danger, we certainly should be able to expect men to look for signs that we’re not interested.
And if the man actually did notice her signals and purposely ignored them, then she was right to be wary. Being friendly is one thing. This is entirely another.
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Arielle Nissenblatt has many questions for her followers on Threads. But one in particular stood out last week, and it led to days of laughter. She asked, quite simply, “Please share exactly one (1) thing that makes you laugh without fail every time.”
In less than a week, the question inspired more than 8,000 responses. The Arielle was so pleased that she wrote, “Going through this thread as I fall asleep and am crying laughing snorting. What a joy!”
That’s a lot of funny things. Here are just a handful:
Funny stories
User @loreleiarmstrong shared a hilarious story from a woman named Barbara, who went through quite the ordeal with a brilliantly satisfying ending:
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Flatulence
More than one Threader mentioned how hilarious they find flatulence. @johnpark quoted writer Emily Heller, who wrote, “If you don’t find farts funny, then you’re a loser because you’re choosing to have less joy in your life but the exact same amount of farts.”
Another commenter agreed with just one word: “Farts.”
This, of course, also included texting mishaps involving, you guessed it, farts:
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Animals
The daughter of Martin Scorsese, @francesca.scorsese (and yes, she has a blue checkmark, so it’s likely really her), chimed in with “Funny animal videos.” The OP agreed, adding, “Unlikely animals getting along.”
Sweetness
A few people said that simply hearing someone else laugh makes them laugh. @lima_sierra wrote, “Anyone 5 or younger laughing.”
Another user added that “the rubber duckies on a Jeep’s dashboard” always make them happy.
Silly conversations
In one exchange shared by @dolphin_dom, a fun fact quickly goes off the rails:
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TV moments
@catscoffeebookslove recalled the time Tim Conway played a dentist on The Carol Burnett Show:
@jazaaiekj shared, “Tim Conway talking about the elephant. Cry laughing every single time.”
@cheesee_lizee shared her favorite moment from Parks and Recreation: “The ‘Get on Your Feet’ music scene from Parks and Rec.”
Quite a few people mentioned their favorite Saturday Night Live sketches. One in particular kept popping up, featuring Beavis and Butt-Head lookalikes:
@jodicelesteee wrote that one particular blooper from The Office cracks her up:
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Memories
One Threader reminded fellow Brits about a guy trying to make limoncello during lockdown:
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Another fun memory? The man whose kids kept interrupting him during a BBC News interview.
@jennknapp reminded readers, “The video of the guy on a zoom call and his toddler marches into his home office, followed by a baby in a walker, and then the mom absolutely driving the struggle bus, trying to remove them with her pants half mast. Hilarious. Every. Single. Time.”
And of course, perhaps the most wonderful moment to come out of a strange time was “lawyer cat.” People from all around the world mentioned the image of a lawyer accidentally using a cat filter during a Zoom hearing. That one is a gift that keeps on giving:
During a red carpet interview leading up to the 2026 Oscars ceremony, actor Ethan Hawke was asked to speak about unrequited love, as Blue Moon, the film that earned him a Best Supporting Actor nomination, centers heavily on the theme.
As Hawke often does, he left viewers stunned and inspired with his thoughtful, poetic answer in a now-viral clip.
According to Hawke, one needn’t feel as though they’ve lost anything when romantic feelings aren’t returned, because the act of feeling itself is the true gift of being alive.
“The one who’s in love always wins,” the Dead Poets Society star explained. “It doesn’t matter if you get your heart broken; you’re living. When you’re feeling, you’re alive.”
He added, “The sun doesn’t care whether the grass appreciates its rays, right? It just keeps on shining. That’s you.”
And to top it all off, when the interviewer, Amelia Dimoldenberg, said “I love you” in response to Hawke’s inspiring words, the actor didn’t skip a beat, replying, “I love you too,” with genuine affection.
Reactions
The message, now seen more than 13 million times, left many marveling at how Hawke was able to deliver such “insanely beautiful” and “absolutely brilliant” words off the cuff.
“That was just off the dome??”
“He freestyled that???? no script, nothing…. such heavenly Shakespearean poetic words off the top of his head?? Wow.”
“This man is always spitting pure poetry.”
“Ethan Hawke is my fave modern philosopher.”
Others couldn’t help but share that it instantly changed their mindset for the better.
“This switched something in my brain like a full factory reset.”
“It’s the most profound thing I’ve literally ever heard.”
It’s not hard to see why the clip resonated so deeply
Unrequited love is often framed in pop culture as something embarrassing or tragic. But here, Hawke reframed it as something beautiful and life-affirming. Loving someone, even without those feelings being reciprocated, becomes proof of openness, courage, and emotional vitality. Not a failure.
That perspective can feel especially radical, since we are often taught to measure success by what we receive in return, whether through affection, validation, or monetary gain. But Hawke’s words gently push against that idea, suggesting that the experience of loving itself holds inherent value, regardless of the result. His take echoes a quote by C.S. Lewis that many referenced in the comments: “Love is never wasted, for its value is not based on reciprocity.”
Moments like this are part of why Hawke has built a reputation not just as an actor, but as a thoughtful observer of the human experience. Whether through interviews, writing, or performances, he often taps into something both deeply personal and universally relatable.
If the reaction online is any indication, this brief red carpet exchange did more than promote a film. It offered millions of viewers a small but meaningful shift in perspective, reminding them that feeling deeply is not a weakness, but a sign of being fully alive. And isn’t that, in a way, the point of it all?
Roosevelt Schools Superintendent Dr. Shawn Wightman set out on an unusual journey to give his student, Alvaro Castro Velasquez, the graduation he earned.
The senior was looking forward to walking across the stage with his friends at Roosevelt High School this May. But just weeks before graduation, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detained him during a random encounter. Soon after, ICE transferred Castro Velasquez to a facility in Texas. When school officials found out, it sparked a response that brought the immigration crackdown right to their doorstep.
“He wasn’t a hardened criminal or anything like that. Didn’t have any type of record. That was the moment everybody realized that this is a real thing,” Wightman told ABC 7 New York.
Wightman didn’t give up on the senior. The superintendent boarded a flight to Texas with his regalia and Castro Velasquez’s diploma in hand. It was then that he realized the task wouldn’t be so simple. He was denied a meeting with the student who had reportedly come to the United States alone when he was 16. The flight, paid for out of his own pocket, turned out to be an expensive dead end.
“It’s very difficult as a superintendent, a father, to think about if something like that were to have happened to any of my kids,” Wightman told ABC 7 New York.
But where a seed of determination is planted, setbacks can sometimes act as water, leading to a bloom. After Wightman’s unsuccessful attempt to deliver the teen his diploma, Castro Velasquez opted for self-deportation to Guatemala. Navigating the immigration system alone as a teen is likely overwhelming, which may have contributed to the senior’s decision to leave.
Wightman, however, became more determined than ever to ensure the teen received the diploma he earned. The educator took two flights and drove five and a half hours through the foothills of Guatemala to reach his former student. The pair reunited after Wightman’s long journey to the Central American country.
The unwavering superintendent didn’t just arrive with a diploma in hand. He brought his own graduation robe and hood, along with the student’s cap and gown. In doing so, Wightman brought the graduation ceremony to Castro Velasquez.
“This is amazing for me. He helped me. And he supported me, for all this time,” Castro Velasquez told ABC 7 New York. “I’m not feeling I’m alone. I know I have him and my family.”
The TV station shared the video on Instagram, and people can’t get over the lengths the superintendent went to to mark the special occasion for his student.
One person said, “Thank you sir, for demonstrating humanity.”
Another wrote, “On his own dime. He should sleep peacefully at night knowing he did something extraordinarily kind!!”
Someone else shared, “My heart is so moved by the sheer humanity and compassion of this man. He is a true educator! I pray that this young man will be inspired to keep fighting for his dreams. I pray that he be protected so that one day he can pay it forward.”
For those wondering why he went to such lengths at his own expense, Wightman’s answer is simple: “You don’t abandon people who you care about.”
If you grew up in the ’80s or ’90s, you’re likely all too familiar with those all-wooden, castle-like playgrounds complete with drawbridges, child-sized tunnels, rope mazes, PVC pipe “walkie-talkies,” cool hideaway spaces, airport towers, and tire walls.
They were the perfect place to let your imagination run wild, whether you pretended to be knights, wizards, Vikings, or simply played freeze tag without ever touching the ground.
Nowadays, those castles are like a modern-day fairy tale: no longer made, rarely seen, and mostly remembered as relics of a bygone era. What happened?
History of wooden playgrounds
As a fun Instagram video by content creator Phil Edwards explains, part of what made wooden playgrounds special was that children had a major role in how they were created.
According to Edwards, Robert “Bob” Leathers, founder of Leathers and Associates, and his partner, Tom Rockwell, consulted children during the design process. Those playgrounds were then built by volunteer community members, such as parents, in a matter of days.
Personal memories
Interestingly, quite a few viewers shared personal memories of helping design their wooden playgrounds as children.
“My parents helped built the one for my elementary school…it was pure magic.”
“I participated as a child, and I clearly remember standing up as a kindergartener and saying, what if a slide came out of a dragon’s mouth. Years later, playing in the Orange CT playground, I realized the slide came out of a dragon’s mouth, rendered in wood. I almost didn’t believe my earlier memory. Could that wild idea from the mouth of a kindergartner have become a major feature of an actual playground?? What an amazing program. ❤️”
“I remember being at planning meeting at the Waverly community house. I remember my dad building. I remember sanding wood. And I have so many memories of playing on this playground for hours a day while my mom taught dance…It was the greatest sense of community.”
“Our very small southern NJ town had one of these – Pine Cone Zone. I still remember the planning team coming to our school. We all submitted our ideas and designs. They also had a naming contest. People could donate money and their names would be engraved on the fence posts. Still remember spending the day at the rec fields while our parents built it. Was such a big deal for our little community ❤️”
Why they stopped making wooden playgrounds
Unfortunately, a study in the early 2000s found that the type of wood used in these structures contained arsenic, and that children who played on them had significantly higher levels of the toxin on their skin. The findings raised concerns about the structures’ overall safety, and major playground manufacturers eventually stopped using this type of wood in favor of other materials.
And while this didn’t seem to influence their decline, several folks recalled the wooden playgrounds as having merciless splinters.
“The splinters were ruthless,” quipped one commenter.
Still, there weren’t any documented cases of “anything going wrong from these playgrounds,” Edwards noted. That’s why they weren’t forcibly torn down, and why you might still find some of the 1,600 that were built scattered across the country.
While their reign has ended, wooden playgrounds leave behind a wonderful legacy. As Edwards put it, they were built “by parents who wanted to share their love with their children” and make something “amazing.” Imagine what could be possible if there were more opportunities for that kind of thing.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.
Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
In a compilation that has resurfaced and gone viral (yet again) on social media, a 101-year-old woman named Alice is seen meeting a gaggle of young children, all eager to see the world through the lens of her long life.
The group is called HiHo Kids, and they’re part of an online content platform that features children learning and playing. Their Facebook page emphasizes the importance of embracing youth: “Every kid – including the one inside each of us – needs imagination and curiosity about the world. HiHo promotes empathy through play.”
No question is too big, too silly, or too small for Alice. The young tikes are, as children tend to be, truly earnest, and Alice seems happy to share what her life has been like for more than a century. In a montage, various children sit across from her. One asks, “What are we here to talk about?” Alice answers with honesty and humor: “Well, I think it might be how old I am.”
This is, of course, followed by the question, “How old are you?” Alice replies, “I’m in my 101st year.”
After a brief discussion about where Alice grew up, a boy named Micah asks about life back in the old days. Alice answers, “We didn’t have radio. No television. We didn’t have telephones when I was a little girl. There were not any trucks. They had wagons, and horses pulled them.”
What was the world like?
One young girl asked whether the world was in such turmoil. “Back then, did you see any wars?” Alice maintained her honest approach. “I did, and I was in a war. I was in the Second World War. We worked on decoding and encoding machines. Very secret work. The officers had guns, and they said if you told any of the secrets, they would shoot you dead.”
Micah looks a bit nervous, so Alice reassures him. “But nobody got shot.” He seems relieved. “Good,” he says, smiling and nodding.
To lighten things up a bit, a young girl asks, “What did you do for fun?” Alice fondly recalls, “I had dolls and blocks. But I really liked ‘boys’ things.’ Marbles and tops. And I thought boys were much luckier than girls. We had to wear skirts and stockings, even in the coldest weather.”
Clara questions this: “Girls couldn’t wear pants?” Alice affirms, “That’s right.” Clara concludes that it’s simply not fair.
Favorite insect
Though Alice is now retired, she lights up when talking about her past work as a biology professor. “If you look at my shirt, you’ll see some of the things I taught about.” She points to a few insect brooches on her pale blue button-down, including a spider. When asked about her favorite insect, Alice doesn’t hesitate: “Ants. I did research on ants.”
Clara could talk about ants all day. She explains that although they’re tiny, they’re incredibly strong. “They can carry something big, like a banana. Even three of them can, even though they’re this tiny.” Alice is impressed by her knowledge. “You’re very good—and you’re only six years old!”
Micah asks what Alice likes to do for fun. “Well, right now I’m watching the Olympics. I write books, and I do puzzles. I enjoy email. I write to a lot of my friends. I even play Scrabble. Also, I try to get exercise every day.”
She tells the kids she’s grateful to still have a working mind and body. “Some old people aren’t very well anymore. Some of them can’t remember things. Some of them have to have somebody help them. But I can do everything myself.” Micah exclaims, “That’s good! That means you’re really old, but you’re really good at it.”
The rest of the conversation is quite moving. Alice is asked what the hardest part of getting older is. “You miss people. And especially when you live over 100 years. Most of the people I ever knew, and in my family, are dead.”
Not afraid of dying
This leads to a beautiful question: “Are you afraid of dying?” Alice is most certainly not. “No, I’m not afraid of dying. I feel very healthy and happy. My doctor said, ‘Maybe you’ll just die in your sleep.’ So I’m not afraid, because I have a good life.”
Finally, quite possibly the most important question of the session: “What is the secret to living a long life?” Alice answers, “Being happy, working hard, getting exercise, doing things for yourself, not expecting other people to do everything for you. Those things help you live a long time.”
The comments under the Facebook reel, where this was also posted, are full of praise.
One commenter wrote, “As a geriatric nurse, Alice’s brain is freaking amazing for 101. Shoot, it’s amazing for most of my 70-80 year olds. Amazing.”
Another agreed with Alice’s life: “She was a freaking decoder! These kids don’t even know the titan they’re sitting across from them. This is so cool!”
And of course, people loved Alice’s interactions with the sweet children. “You can tell she loves to teach,” a commenter wrote. “She’s absolutely magical with the children. What a gift to introduce these kids to Alice.”
If you’ve ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you’ve likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there’s a hint of a smile at all, it’s oh-so-slight. But more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn’t people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?
Most often, people’s serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that’s true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.
Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It’s surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as “smiley” aren’t toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.
But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn’t smile in early photographs.
Mona Lisa – Photo credit: Public domain
The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits
The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn’t smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn’t how it was done.
A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.
Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island. Photo credit: Augustus F. Sherman via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons
Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard
Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:
“Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette.”
"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals – Photo credit: Frans Hals via Public domain
In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.
Smiling simply didn’t work well in old portraits
Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn’t lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn’t work well in portraits of old.
As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn’t have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.
Another reason why people didn’t smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn’t the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.
Even wedding party photos didn’t appear to be joyful occasions. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons
Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture
So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.
Photos could have captured people’s natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn’t widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kinds of emotions on people’s faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person’s face.
Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.
In a moment when most people might respond with anger and discipline, one Philadelphia woman chose instead to lead with compassion.
On March 6, Bernadette Williams noticed a stranger across the street near a neighbor’s porch. As seen on Williams’ doorbell camera, a woman with a partial face covering appeared to reach for a delivered package. It was the kind of scene that immediately raises alarm, and Williams responded without hesitation.
‘What are you doing? Put that back! Put that back!’
The woman quickly dropped the package. For a brief moment, the situation hung in the balance. It could have turned into a confrontation, a threat, or a call to the police. But then Williams made a choice that shifted the entire tone of the encounter.
“I said, ‘She’s in trouble. How can I make a bad situation better?’ You have to be a part of the solution,” she later told WPVI.
Rather than continuing to call out the woman, Williams began speaking to her in a completely different way. As her voice softened, her message changed from warning to encouragement.
“You better than that. Get some help. I love you. God loves you,” she told the woman.
Then came the offer that has stayed with so many people who have heard the story. Reaching into her pocket, Williams told the stranger, “I’ll give you some money. Here’s $7, here’s $7.” It was all she had, and she gave it up willingly.
As WPVI reported, the woman apologized and thanked her before leaving. Williams said she could see something had shifted in her expression.
“Her eyes of ‘I’m sorry.’ That was in her heart, and that’s what I read. I hope that she will be fine, and I have faith that she will be fine.”
For Williams, the decision was not about ignoring wrongdoing, but about recognizing what might be underneath it. Instead of seeing a thief, she saw someone who might be struggling.
“She started realizing ‘I am somebody,’” Williams said. “She started realizing that ‘There is somebody out here that cares.’”
That perspective comes from years of living in the same neighborhood and feeling connected to the people in it. Williams believes that communities are shaped by how people choose to respond to one another, especially in difficult moments.
“We are a part of this community, and we can make our community better,” she told WPVI.
The big takeaway
There’s a common assumption that accountability must come with harshness. This story shows that it doesn’t always have to. The would-be thief is held accountable while maintaining everyone’s dignity, making a different choice in the future far more likely.
While it’s impossible to know what happens next for the woman in the video, what remains is the example Williams set by actively choosing humanity when most would not.
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