+
upworthy
Family

Caring for her grandma revealed an underappreciated task almost all caregivers have to do.

When Miles Taylor was a teenager, she and her little brother moved in with their grandma Betty, who essentially became a single parent at nearly 80 years old.

An untenable family situation prompted the change, which Betty took in stride. It was a move that must have taken some "grit and guts and probably a real fine-tuned sense of humor" on Betty's part, says Taylor.

Taylor is now a sociologist at Florida State University. She says Betty, who died in 2015 at the age of 100, was a huge influence in her life. Betty was resilient, quick-witted, compassionate, and could at times be incredibly stubborn (as the doctor who tried to get Betty to stop eating candy learned). "And she had an unbelievable capacity for love," says Taylor.


Miles Taylor and her grandma Betty. Photos used with permission.

As Betty got older, she started needing some extra help, and Taylor was there to contribute.

"It was small things in the beginning," Taylor says. "She needed help putting up a Christmas tree. Then, as she got a bit older, she needed help with getting groceries delivered." Taylor, her brother, friends, and neighbors all helped out.

Then, in 2011, when Betty was about 96, she fell and broke a bone in her back. Taylor knew that from then on, Betty would need a lot more than just help with the Christmas tree, so she stepped into the role of Betty's full-time caregiver.

In 2015, about 1 in 7 American adults served as caregivers for someone over 50, according to an AARP report.

The numbers are even higher if you count those taking care of other recipients, like adults or children with injuries or disabilities. Many of these caregivers are pretty young as well — about a quarter are under 35.

Although many people feel positively about being caretakers, it can be physically, mentally, and emotionally tough work. In fact, there have been many studies and papers about the stresses of being a caretaker.

Most of these studies have focused on the caregivers' relationships or on the stresses around very personal tasks (such as helping people bathe). But when Taylor stepped into this role, she realized there was another, huge aspect of a caregiver's job — one she had known about but couldn't have predicted how stressful it'd be.

Navigating the health care system blindsided Taylor.

Handling Betty's personal care was one thing, but Taylor was surprised at how much time she had to spend just figuring out the health care system. Even as someone who had time and a bit of inside knowledge, it was really difficult.

For example, Taylor knew if Betty was ever to get mobile again after the fall, she'd need rehab to help with strength and balance. But a snafu with how the hospital had listed Betty on their charts meant her insurance wouldn't cover rehab. It took weeks to fix.

"It was very frustrating," Taylor says. Over and over again, she experienced similar issues.

Though Taylor says she was never disappointed in the care Betty received, many of the various institutions — hospitals, insurance agencies, care services — were fragmented. They didn't communicate, which meant the job of sorting everything out fell to Taylor.

When Taylor talked to other caregivers, many of them felt the same way.

Now Taylor has published a paper she hopes will help reveal this invisible workload.

As she cared for Betty, Taylor found support in her friend and colleague Dr. Amélie Quesnel-Vallée of McGill University in Quebec. Quesnel-Vallée was also caring for an older family member — her mother. And though Quesnel-Vallée lives in Canada, they found a lot of similarities in their experiences.

Together, they wrote a scientific paper informed by their own experiences as caregivers, published in The Gerontologist. They're hoping researchers and policymakers will take notice and maybe even make some long-term changes.

"It's important those caregiving hours and that caregiving stress is recognized," says Taylor.

But they also had a message — not just for health care professionals, but for other caregivers too:

"On the more personal side of things, a message we'd like to send out to caregivers themselves is they're not alone," says Taylor.

The AARP report suggested that most caregivers in the U.S. are stepping into this caregiver-plus-case-worker kind of role. It's important for caregivers to know that although it's often invisible, their work is valuable and valued.

Caregiving is hard, often invisible work. Through sharing stories like this, we can help bring it into the light and give it the attention and credit it deserves.

The gaze of the approving Boomer.

Over the past few years, Baby Boomers (1946 to 1964) have been getting a lot of grief from the generations that came after them, Gen X (1965 to 1980), Millenials (1981 to 1996), and now, Gen Z (1997 to 2012). Their grievances include environmental destruction, wealth hoarding, political polarization, and being judgemental when they don’t understand how hard it is for younger people to make it in America these days.

Every Baby Boomer is different, so it's wrong to paint them all with a broad brush. But it’s undeniable that each generation shares common values, and some are bound to come into conflict.

However, life in 2023 isn’t without its annoyances. Many that came about after the technological revolution put a phone in everyone’s hands and brought a whole new host of problems. Add the younger generations' hands-on approach to child rearing and penchant for outrage, and a lot of moden life has become insufferanble.

Keep ReadingShow less
Humor

Iliza Schlesinger's hilarious rant just might unite Gen Zers and millennials

The 40-year-old comedian begs for the younger generation to cut millennials some slack.

@ilizas/TikTok

Comedian iliza Schlesinger urges Gen Z to be nicer to millennials.

Generational differences have long been the bread and butter of TikTok humor, but lately, millennials have been a prime target for their younger Gen Z counterparts.

Clips of Gen Zers mocking stereotypical millennial behavior, otherwise known as “millennial core” is particularly popular—everything from a millennial’s affinity for skinny jeans and self-deprecating humor to their love of the word “adulting” is current fodder for ridicule.

Things have gotten so heated that millennials have, as the kids say, begun serving clapbacks—accusing Gen Zers of acting superior, nihilistic and completely disconnected due to their over-reliance on social media.

But earlier this month, comedian and self-described “elder millennial” Iliza Schlesinger went viral for her rallying cry for both generations to unite. It’s a delightful blend of unhinged and insightful that Schlesinger has truly mastered.

Keep ReadingShow less

Prepare to get Thatcherized.

It seems that Adele is going viral once again.

Perhaps you’ve seen the image in question previously (it seems to make the rounds every couple of years). But in case you missed it—it’s Adele’s face. Normal, just upside down.

Only it’s not normal. In fact, when you turn Adele’s face right side up, what you notice is that her eyes and mouth were actually right-side up THE ENTIRE TIME, even though the entire head was upside down. So when you turn the head right side up, the eyes and mouth are now UPSIDE-DOWN—and you can’t unsee it. Do you feel like you're Alice in Wonderland yet?

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

New England mall's ingenious ‘Santa elevator' is a child’s Christmas fantasy come true

Natick Mall takes Santa visits to a whole other level with its magical "elevator" to the North Pole.

Visiting Santa at the Natick Mall is an otherworldly experience.

Visiting Santa Claus at the mall is a holiday tradition for countless American families, and it's usually a similar setup no matter where you go. You find the big display with the big Christmas decor, step into a long line of parents and kids ranging from giddy to terrified, wait for Santa's helper dressed in an elf costume to say it's your turn, then take pics of your kid telling a stranger in a Santa suit what they want for Christmas in an effort to give your kids a taste of holiday wonder.

But one mall in Massachusetts has upped the mall Santa bar so far it's above the clouds—literally.

The Natick Mall's "Magic Elevator Express" takes visiting Santa to a whole other magical level that even the Grinchiest of grownups can appreciate. And the idea is so brilliantly simple, it could be replicated just about anywhere.

Keep ReadingShow less

A TikTok post about McDonald's prices and President Joe Biden speaking with attendees at the Moving America Forward Forum.

Sometimes, there are images that perfectly encapsulate a moment in time. In December 2022, a viral TikTok video featuring a burger meal at McDonald's that cost a whopping $16.10 went viral, and to many Americans struggling through inflation, the image rang true.

Topher Olive posted the TikTok video on December 10, 2022, showing a burger, large fries, and a large Coke that cost $16.10.

The price of a value meal at McDonald’s is something that every American understands. The Economist even uses the Big Mac sandwich as a tongue-in-cheek way of measuring the purchasing power between countries.

Surely, if a McDonald’s burger meal was becoming too expensive for the average American to eat for lunch every day, then the country must be headed in a disastrous direction. The image was the perfect weapon for those looking to blame President Biden for his handling of the economy in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Keep ReadingShow less

Tia Savva has an invested father.

Sadly, a lot of men go out of their way to avoid learning anything about a woman's period.

(That could be why throughout most of the United States — where the majority of lawmakers are men — feminine hygiene products are subject to sales tax.)

So we should give some love to the guys who make an effort to learn a bit about the menstrual cycle so they can help their family members when they're in desperate need of feminine hygiene products.

Personally, as a guy, the feminine hygiene aisle can be a little intimidating. There are multiple brands, styles of products, scents, absorbency levels, and they are all color-coded.

What do the colors mean?

Keep ReadingShow less