Laura Ann Moore, a money mindset expert, financial coach, and host of the Mind Money Soul podcast, recently went viral on TikTok for being honest about men she goes out with who never ask her any questions. They seem to care only about themselves or about taking her back to their place after the date.
“Yeah, but that’s an actual epidemic of young men or men going on dates and not asking questions,” Moore says at the opening of her TikTok as she enjoys some pistachios. She pops one into her mouth and continues, “Not asking questions? ‘What about you? Tell me about your work. Tell me about your family. Oh, what do you think about this? How did you feel about that? Are you okay?’” “Boys. Emphasis on the ‘boys’. Do you not know how conversations work? …A conversation is a two-way street.”
Laura Ann Moore is tired of men who don’t ask questions
“I’m so bored of going on dates and being like, did I have fun, or was I just fun? Do they actually know any more about me, or did I only share stuff about me because I asked the question in the first place, and I just told them my version of it even though they didn’t actually ask back?” she continued. “What we gonna do about it? Because it’s kinda pissing me off.”
Moore’s venting struck a nerve with her followers, as many women complained about the same problem in the comments. “That’s why they still on the apps. The conversations are so dry,” SoggyZocks wrote. “The amount of men that have talked at me for like half an hour without asking me anything is unreal. They all think they’ve caught feelings, but it’s just love of their own voice,” Ash Mai added.
Men not asking enough questions on dates is a problem; however, asking questions is a real advantage for guys who want to stand out on a first date. Evidently, the bar is pretty low, so if you take the time to show genuine interest, ask questions, and follow up, you have a great shot at getting a second date.
Why you should always ask questions on a date
A 2017 Harvard study found that when you’re speaking with someone you’ve never met, like on a first date, asking a question and then two follow-up questions dramatically increases your likability. Follow-up questions are pretty simple: keep the focus on your conversation partner, then ask them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.
“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.
Moore’s TikTok proves the adage and research-based fact that it’s better to be interested than interesting. People are much more likely to like you if you appear interested in them, rather than spending all your time trying to impress them with your sense of humor, success stories, and long-winded tales of your professional life. So, if you’re a guy out there struggling on the apps, you could meet someone really special if you relax and let them talk about themselves. They’ll likely leave the date amazed by how charming you are.
