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4 things you should definitely say to a new foster parent. (And 4 things you shouldn't. Just... No.)

There are an estimated 400,000 kids in the 50 foster care systems across the U.S.

That may seem like a huge pile of kids, but it's still fewer than the number of people who caught the midnight showing of the final Harry Potter movie.

As a foster parent in training, who's taking the required 10-week prep course before the licensure process, it's not uncommon for me to be surrounded by people who don't know a single person involved in the foster care system.

Since I started this process, I've had enough of the same conversations that I wanted to put together a guide for the "Well-Meaning, Supportive, and Slightly Alarmed Foster-Adjacent Friends and Family."

Here are the four things you should definitely say to a prospective foster parent. (And four things you really shouldn't. Really. Just... No.)


Photo by Petras Gagilas/Flickr.

1. When I first tell you I'm going to become a foster parent...

What to skip: "Aren't you worried? Those kids can be so tough. Let me tell you a story about a book I read about the foster care system and how I couldn't stop crying about it for days."

Here's the thing: Nobody becomes a foster parent by accident. We apply, take classes, and go through licensure. Every step of the way, we have to confront massive questions about ourselves and our lives ... sometimes in 20-page handwritten applications. Even if we didn't begin with that level of consideration, the system forces us to take that time to think about our choices.

What to say: "I'd love to know more about what led you to become a foster parent."

This shows respect for all the work and thought I've put into this. If you listen to my story and then have follow-up questions? Great. But chances are, I'm going to answer a lot of your questions before you ask them. Like, yes, I do plan to invest in some indestructible furniture.

Photo by Flazingo Photos/Flickr.

2. If you're thinking about the challenges of being a foster parent...

What to skip: "I could never do what you're doing. It'd be too hard for me."

This is like responding to someone's "I'm pregnant!" announcement with, "Oh, but I've heard labor is SO PAINFUL."

Honestly? We've all chosen to do painful things in life. So, maybe you haven't chosen to be a foster parent. But you've probably risked vulnerability for love. You've moved away from friends and family. You've played a sport you loved even though you now have a knee surgeon on speed dial. Humans do painful things all the time. Think of how you got through the last painful experience you had. Think of what your loved one said while they held your hand and fixed you sangria on top of a pile of ice cream.

And if you can't stomach my rants about "The System," or learning a new name every so often, or watching me go through the heartbreak of transition, I get it. It can be a lot. We can go our separate ways. Right now, I need friends who are ready to offer support and camaraderie.

What to say: "It sounds like there are going to be some rough times, but you can count on me. I might not know what to say, but I'm here for you. Do you think you'll want sangria or ice cream when your heart is broken?"

Both, please. I want both.

Photo by Divya Thakur/Flickr.

Photo by James/Flickr.

3. When you're thinking about how foster parenting might be different from other types of parenting...

What to skip: "I just think you're missing out on the true experiences of parenthood, like pregnancy and labor and getting to name your child…"

If you stop to think about it, what you're essentially saying is, "You will never be a real parent. Not fully." And that's a rejection of everything I'm working toward.

I get it. The rhyme never said, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a lifelong entanglement with the child welfare system and a series of placements that will set your heart on a path of growing and breaking forever."

Unless we grew up in the foster care system, none of us was taught how to do this. But I'm taking a deep breath and going for it. Sure, there will be things I don't experience. Heck, my grandfather still thinks I'm leading an unfulfilled life because I refused to take any engineering classes in college. But I'm still breathing, and he and I have a rich and loving relationship despite our radically different careers. You and I can, too.

What to say: "What parts of parenthood are you looking forward to?"

There are lots of experiences I'm going to get to have as a parent — and I'm excited! Ask me about them.


Photo courtesy of the Boston Public Library, Leslie Jones Collection/Flickr.

4. If you think I'm doing the world a favor...

What to skip: "You're doing such a great thing, saving those poor kids."

There is nothing that gets under my skin like fire ants faster than the savior narrative of foster care. There are no heroes, and there are no villains — only the incredibly snarly, messy, complex, and beautiful families and people that make up this system. And I include myself in that system, by the way. I am snarly, messy, complex, and beautiful.

I am not saving anybody. I'm providing a safe and loving home for a child for as long as that child is with me. I'm going to school meetings and soccer practice and kissing bruised knees and checking for monsters under the bed. None of this is heroic — unless it is heroic when you do it too.

Sure, kids who've been through significant trauma have a lot of healing to do. But giving them a safe place to do the work is not an act of heroism. It's an act of humanity. If I get a medal for it, than so should you. And also your kid's teacher. Possibly their doctor too. And that really great babysitter.

Kids come into my house whole, not broken. They come with trauma and baggage and very few belongings. But they also come with wholly formed personalities, senses of humor, survival skills, smarts, and playfulness. There is nothing to fix, only to heal and continue to grow and thrive.

Photo by John Perivolaris/Flickr.

What to say: "Tell me about the kids you've cared for."

When you say this, I see that you recognize my kids as individuals, as whole, sparkly, fabulous people.

And if you're an experienced parent, I may need your advice, especially if I'm dealing with a situation I've never encountered before, like advocating for my kids in school or choosing a piano teacher. Ask about how they make me laugh, how they push my buttons — and I'll ask you right back.

Because we're there with other parents. Our kids may change, and we may have a lot more paperwork to fill out, but we are just as up to our elbows in mud, poop, grinning, anticipation, heartbreak, and exhaustion. And like other parents, we wouldn't trade it for anything.

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American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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'Move in Silence': Science confirms not talking about your goals actually helps you achieve them

Sharing your goals out loud makes you feel closer to finishing them. That's not a good thing.

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,
Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

Don't roll your eyes: TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree.

So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.

@noemoneyyy

Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”

Lil Wayne, famously, agreed when he wrote "Real G's move in silence like lasagna."

@mandanazarghami

monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ

What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

women, silence, achievements, goals, move in silence Say less and do more. Photo by Darí Dorofeeva on Unsplash

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.

"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less," they write.

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

women, silence, achievements, goals, move in silence Shhhhhh Giphy

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

Nolwazi Sangweni writes for The Orange Journal: "Moving in silence is staying lowkey and only popping out when the main questions you’ll be asked will start with ‘since when…?’"

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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Schools

Mom shares school's clever 'un-fundraiser' and burnt out parents are absolutely loving it

We'll gladly pay up if you leave us alone.

Photo credit: Canva

Parents are rejoicing over a fundraiser that asks parents to do... absolutely nothing.

A recent survey showed that parents receive a staggering 17.5 communications per week about their kids' activities, on average. That's multiple emails, texts, or flyers every single day. Some of them can be quickly read (or even ignored), but many of them require some action to be taken.

It's Pajama Day! It's Teacher Appreciation Week! It's Dress Up like a Book Character Day! It's 'Asynchronous Learning Day' and your children will be home with you all day! Each of these can feel overwhelming, but there are few handouts coming home that strike more dread into the heart of parents than when it's time for schools to execute their multi-annual fundraisers.

One mom recently braced herself for the worst when her child brought home a sheet of paper announcing the school's next fundraiser. But the options on the flyer took her totally by surprise.

On Reddit, the mom posted a picture of the unique fundraising request, which was officially named "The No-Fuss Un Fundraiser."

"What's an 'Un Fundraiser?' you might ask. Well, funds are still being raised for the school, but in this instance parents are offered a guilt-free option if they don't want to participate in the bake sale, don't want their children to hawk cheap crap from a catalog, or don't want to participate in any Walkathon-type activities.

The handout explains: "Our no-fuss 'un-fundraiser' is the only fundraiser where 100% of the profits go toward the PTO budget. ... You may choose to participate in lieu of, or in addition to any of the other fundraisers we will be doing throughout the school year."

Direct contribution amounts are then listed, with each amount corresponding to a certain privilege.

Parents could give $15 to proclaim, "I would rather not bake anything or shop for cupcakes this year, thanks."

Fifty dollars proudly announces, "I do not wish to peddle products to my family and friends from catalogs, magazines or brochures, I do not want to buy candles or wrapping paper this year."

A blank amount for parents to fill in states, "I am making this donation to express my appreciation for NOT having to clip, buy, sell, or peddle anything this school year, except filling out this form."

See the whole, hilariously tongue-in-cheek fundraising form here:

Tens of thousands of exhausted parents chimed in to express their appreciation for the school's no-fuss approach.

Not only are parents burnt out and overwhelmed by constant communication and the pressure to be hyper-involved in every aspect of their children's lives, traditional school fundraisers have proved to be problematic in a number of ways.

Kids growing up in the '80s and '90s surely remember the catalog fundraisers, selling chocolate bars, wrapping paper, frozen pizzas, flavored popcorn, whatever the school could get their hands on. Top-sellers were promised flashy prizes like TVs, gaming systems, and more. (Gen X and Millennial kids definitely remember those school assemblies where the slimy catalog reps would get the kids to go feral over the possibility of winning a Sega.)

The problems were and are numerous. Schools only get to keep a certain percentage of the revenue when well-meaning relatives and neighbors buy these products, making them far less effective than straight-up donations. It also puts families in extremely uncomfortable positions where they have to hassle their network of friends and coworkers to buy stuff they don't need; in some cases, kids even go door to door selling!

Fundraisers are traditionally heavily weighted toward kids with wealthier families who can afford to buy a bunch of junk so their kids can rise up the leaderboard and win cool prizes. The funds might be good for the school, but they make almost everyone else feel less-than.

And of course there's the massive, headachy time commitment from parents who have to get involved in these programs. The "No Fuss Un Fundraiser" is such a great concept that eliminates all or most of these challenges.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A few social media users chimed in:

"My kids' school did this. I gladly gave $100 and I knew that every dime went to the PTO and none of it went to scammy fundraising companies that peddle shoddy crap so bad that we were embarrassed to show the catalogs to the grandparents.

"This is great! I'm glad schools are finally getting the message. When my son had a fundraiser for his school we didn't want him going door-to-door asking people to buy stuff so we wrote a check and sent it to the school with the catalog. This is a much nicer way to handle fundraisers!"

"I would fill this out so fast"

"Enclosed is a check for $400. Which is $100 for each school year. Leave me alone for four years," one user joked.

There are other, more creative fundraiser ideas going around, too:

schools, kids, parents, parenting, elementary school, fundraiser, education, economy, culture Schools are underfunded, but there's got to be a better way to raise funds than selling junk from catalogs. Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"One thing I think my school did right was that our fundraisers were never junk. We sold trash bags in the fall when everyone would be raking up leaves, and flowers in the spring when everyone would be landscaping their spring gardens. My high school sold raffle tickets. But the prize was genius: everyone who sold 10 received a pair of sweatpants that they were allowed to wear all winter. I went to an all girls catholic high school where the primary uniform bottom was a plaid skirt—real cute until it started snowing and you had to walk between buildings every period. So The Pants™ were a coveted privilege."

"Our school is selling 'acts of kindness' where the kids are supposed to do nice things for family/neighbors for the donation. It’s honor system and a good way to teach charity to kids I think (or just no pressure donate if you don’t care)."

Public schools are severely underfunded, there's no question about that. Just look at how many teachers have to buy school supplies with their own money. But making kids go door-to-door selling chocolate bars is not the way.

Direct donation-style fundraisers are gaining popularity in recent years, and all the tired parents, the grandparents who have no need for poor-quality wrapping paper, and all the neighbors who just want to be left alone are grateful for it.

“It's taken a weight off my shoulders, having multiple kids in different schools,” the mom told Newsweek. “I'm thrilled I don't need to cook for 2 bake sales now. ... I would continue to donate like this every year they do this kind of fundraiser."

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Your dog's breed could say a lot about your personality, according to a veterinarian

"If I see someone with a weenie dog, I know you're just vibing."

Photo Credit: Canva

A dachshund in a pink boa. A woman with pink hair.

Ever been to a dog park and seen a woman with dyed pink hair and a matching dyed pink Shih Tzu, complete with painted nails? My thought is usually, I could have seen the dog first and known exactly who the owner was. (Now this one isn't quite science. I'm a light-hearted shorty on the quiet side who once had a very large and serious Rottweiler.)

That said, a veterinarian named Dr. Indya took to TikTok with a short clip to share her thoughts on dog breeds and what they say about the person who owns them. She writes under her video, "Your dog breed says so much about you and I refuse to think otherwise."

@doctorindya

your dog breed says so much about you and I refuse to believe otherwise #vetmed #dogbreeds #petparent #miniaturedachshund

In the video, over a clip of her talking straight to camera, a chyron displays, "I judge you by your dog breed." She says, "I have this theory that you can tell how seriously someone takes life based on the type of dog they own. Like to me, German Shepherds people? Very serious. A to B, get everything done. Like you cannot mess with someone that owns a German Shepherd."

She goes on, now pointing at the camera. "Doberman, same. Cane Corso, same." She then puts her hand out and waves it. "Golden Retrievers? Pretty casual, they have fun. But they get the job done. They're kind of like finance bros."

She then bends down and picks up a longhaired Dachshund. "Me? What is this? Weenie dog. I have two weenie dogs, bro. You think I take life serious? I have two long dogs, running around my apartment. You think I take life serious?"

dachshund, side-eye, dogs, dog breeds, personalities A dachshund gives the side-eye. Giphy

As her dog squirms around and side-eyes the camera, she continues, "Do you know how fun life is with little short legs just running around? Just pitter-pattering? You think I take life seriously?"

She puts the dog down. "I know that's just me and my brain, but like if I see someone with a weenie dog, I know you're just vibing. You're just a girl. You're just here. I don't know, I could be wrong, but that's my theory."

Well, this theory struck a chord: 9,000 comments later (just on TikTok alone), people are chiming in with their thoughts and experiences.

Some merely agree with the Dachshund of it all: "Was not surprised at all when she picked up a Dachshund. And it’s almost a requirement to have more than one."

Others note how similar they are to their breed: "Chihuahua owner. I’m fun, but with only one or two people. I don’t like anyone else." "I have a Beagle. All we do is rock out and eat food."

Others make jokes: "Me and my Yorkie Terrier are going to law school. In the future."

And one person throws this wrench into the mix: "I have a German Shepherd and a wiener dog. I guess I’m a conflicted soul."

What your chosen dog breed says about you. www.youtube.com

In the recent piece, "What Your Dog Breed Says About You," Laurent Jaccard writes, "Psychologists have spent decades mapping owner personalities to their canine sidekicks, and the patterns are hilarious (sometimes painfully accurate). A Bath Spa University survey of 1,000 owners showed we flock to breeds that mirror our own traits."

He gives the following examples: "Extroverts gravitate to sociable party animals like Labradors and Golden Retrievers. Introverts vibe with low-drama independents such as Shiba Inus or Greyhounds. High-achievers pick brainy workaholics like Border Collies. Trend-setters flaunt bougie French Bulldogs—quirky, compact, Instagram-ready."

He cites a few research studies that support the idea that dogs and owners should have matching energy and sociability, usually, in order to be a great match.

He then lists dog breeds and gives a breakdown of what choosing them says about one's "vibe." One example is his hilarious description of the French Bulldog as a "stylish clown with a side of sass." What this means about their "person" is: "They are probably funny, expressive, and loyal. Care about comfort, charm, and vibes. And like attention, but only on your own terms."

dogs, breeds, french bulldog, personality Frenchie licks lips. Giphy

Again, while this isn't an exact science (obviously) it's fun to think about. And if by chance you've opted for a rescue mutt of some sort, well we know your "vibe check," and it's probably pretty awesome.

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