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4 things you should definitely say to a new foster parent. (And 4 things you shouldn't. Just... No.)

There are an estimated 400,000 kids in the 50 foster care systems across the U.S.

That may seem like a huge pile of kids, but it's still fewer than the number of people who caught the midnight showing of the final Harry Potter movie.

As a foster parent in training, who's taking the required 10-week prep course before the licensure process, it's not uncommon for me to be surrounded by people who don't know a single person involved in the foster care system.

Since I started this process, I've had enough of the same conversations that I wanted to put together a guide for the "Well-Meaning, Supportive, and Slightly Alarmed Foster-Adjacent Friends and Family."

Here are the four things you should definitely say to a prospective foster parent. (And four things you really shouldn't. Really. Just... No.)


Photo by Petras Gagilas/Flickr.

1. When I first tell you I'm going to become a foster parent...

What to skip: "Aren't you worried? Those kids can be so tough. Let me tell you a story about a book I read about the foster care system and how I couldn't stop crying about it for days."

Here's the thing: Nobody becomes a foster parent by accident. We apply, take classes, and go through licensure. Every step of the way, we have to confront massive questions about ourselves and our lives ... sometimes in 20-page handwritten applications. Even if we didn't begin with that level of consideration, the system forces us to take that time to think about our choices.

What to say: "I'd love to know more about what led you to become a foster parent."

This shows respect for all the work and thought I've put into this. If you listen to my story and then have follow-up questions? Great. But chances are, I'm going to answer a lot of your questions before you ask them. Like, yes, I do plan to invest in some indestructible furniture.

Photo by Flazingo Photos/Flickr.

2. If you're thinking about the challenges of being a foster parent...

What to skip: "I could never do what you're doing. It'd be too hard for me."

This is like responding to someone's "I'm pregnant!" announcement with, "Oh, but I've heard labor is SO PAINFUL."

Honestly? We've all chosen to do painful things in life. So, maybe you haven't chosen to be a foster parent. But you've probably risked vulnerability for love. You've moved away from friends and family. You've played a sport you loved even though you now have a knee surgeon on speed dial. Humans do painful things all the time. Think of how you got through the last painful experience you had. Think of what your loved one said while they held your hand and fixed you sangria on top of a pile of ice cream.

And if you can't stomach my rants about "The System," or learning a new name every so often, or watching me go through the heartbreak of transition, I get it. It can be a lot. We can go our separate ways. Right now, I need friends who are ready to offer support and camaraderie.

What to say: "It sounds like there are going to be some rough times, but you can count on me. I might not know what to say, but I'm here for you. Do you think you'll want sangria or ice cream when your heart is broken?"

Both, please. I want both.

Photo by Divya Thakur/Flickr.

Photo by James/Flickr.

3. When you're thinking about how foster parenting might be different from other types of parenting...

What to skip: "I just think you're missing out on the true experiences of parenthood, like pregnancy and labor and getting to name your child…"

If you stop to think about it, what you're essentially saying is, "You will never be a real parent. Not fully." And that's a rejection of everything I'm working toward.

I get it. The rhyme never said, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a lifelong entanglement with the child welfare system and a series of placements that will set your heart on a path of growing and breaking forever."

Unless we grew up in the foster care system, none of us was taught how to do this. But I'm taking a deep breath and going for it. Sure, there will be things I don't experience. Heck, my grandfather still thinks I'm leading an unfulfilled life because I refused to take any engineering classes in college. But I'm still breathing, and he and I have a rich and loving relationship despite our radically different careers. You and I can, too.

What to say: "What parts of parenthood are you looking forward to?"

There are lots of experiences I'm going to get to have as a parent — and I'm excited! Ask me about them.


Photo courtesy of the Boston Public Library, Leslie Jones Collection/Flickr.

4. If you think I'm doing the world a favor...

What to skip: "You're doing such a great thing, saving those poor kids."

There is nothing that gets under my skin like fire ants faster than the savior narrative of foster care. There are no heroes, and there are no villains — only the incredibly snarly, messy, complex, and beautiful families and people that make up this system. And I include myself in that system, by the way. I am snarly, messy, complex, and beautiful.

I am not saving anybody. I'm providing a safe and loving home for a child for as long as that child is with me. I'm going to school meetings and soccer practice and kissing bruised knees and checking for monsters under the bed. None of this is heroic — unless it is heroic when you do it too.

Sure, kids who've been through significant trauma have a lot of healing to do. But giving them a safe place to do the work is not an act of heroism. It's an act of humanity. If I get a medal for it, than so should you. And also your kid's teacher. Possibly their doctor too. And that really great babysitter.

Kids come into my house whole, not broken. They come with trauma and baggage and very few belongings. But they also come with wholly formed personalities, senses of humor, survival skills, smarts, and playfulness. There is nothing to fix, only to heal and continue to grow and thrive.

Photo by John Perivolaris/Flickr.

What to say: "Tell me about the kids you've cared for."

When you say this, I see that you recognize my kids as individuals, as whole, sparkly, fabulous people.

And if you're an experienced parent, I may need your advice, especially if I'm dealing with a situation I've never encountered before, like advocating for my kids in school or choosing a piano teacher. Ask about how they make me laugh, how they push my buttons — and I'll ask you right back.

Because we're there with other parents. Our kids may change, and we may have a lot more paperwork to fill out, but we are just as up to our elbows in mud, poop, grinning, anticipation, heartbreak, and exhaustion. And like other parents, we wouldn't trade it for anything.

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Land O'Lakes® products are made from milk sourced directly from member-owned farms, including butters, cheeses, spreads and other dairy staples loved by consumers for cooking, baking and snacking
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Land O’Lakes and Clove are filling the nation’s food banks with much-needed butter and shoes

Land O’Lakes and Clove are teaming up to bring comfort to communities in need.

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Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

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Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

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Joy

People share 10 subtle signs that someone has a genuinely kind heart

"You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things."

via Canva/Photos

A woman helping an elderly woman.

Even the worst person you know has a moment or two when they do something thoughtful for someone, and show that they may have a kind heart somewhere deep inside. But how do we know when people are being good out of the kindness of their hearts, or when they're trying to appear kind because they have some agenda? Or if they are people-pleasing to avoid social rejection?

All of us need to develop a good Spidey sense for when people are being genuine with their kindness—especially if they are someone we are considering building a closer relationship with. It seems that one of the tell-tale signs that someone is being genuinely kind is when they do something for someone who can’t do anything for them. It’s truly a selfless act, and not transactional.

A Redditor asked people on the AskReddit forum to share how they can “instantly tell if someone has a good heart,” and they shared simple gestures that show someone genuinely cares for others.

caring, kindness, green glag, kind heart, good heart, wheelchair A woman helping a woman in a wheelchair.via Canva/Photos

10 signs that someone can 'instantly' tell that someone has a good heart

1. Kind without exception

"Reminds me of one of my favourite TV quotes: 'Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.'"

"There's this friend that every time I say something nice (which is like all the time) she says something in the style of 'are you just saying that to be nice,' as if I don't mean every word that comes out of my mouth. I think we all ought to be as kind as possible to everyone in a genuine way, no exceptions."

2. They include the quiet people

"When they notice the quiet person in the room and make sure that they are also included without making it a big deal."

"When I was younger and in High School, a friend did this for me. I used to sit alone whenever lunch rolled around. I had the “weird” group always wanting me to sit with them, but some days I really just didn’t want to. I didn’t fit in with them, but sometimes it was better than being alone. I remember the first time he ever included me—we were in a computer science class, and I wouldn’t talk to anyone. But he kept trying, and eventually I ended up sitting with them at the lunch table. It was such a relief, and it genuinely made me so happy down to my core. Looking back, I see him as an angel; he saved me from loneliness. He was such an amazing dude."

3. Treats everyone the same

"Treats people with less power or status with the same respect they show to those above them."

"I guess when they treat everyone with respect regardless of their status or what they can give in return, like being kind to servers."

People often say you can tell if someone is a good person by how nice they are to the server at a restaurant. Those who are rude to the server show that they have no problem being rude to people they deem beneath them.

kindness, good heart, green flag, ice cream, children, bench A young girl sharing her ice cream.via Canva/Photos

4. They care for the elderly

"When they slow down for an elderly person without being asked. Saw this with my grandma once - a stranger just matched her pace with her groceries, no rush, no phone. My granny told me after: 'You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things.'"

5. They love your dog

"When they smile at my dog when we walk by."

"Reminds me of a time I was out walking my Golden Retriever. It’s late, as we walk through downtown on a Friday night. This group of Young drunk guys walk towards us. I’m starting to be a bit nervous as I’m alone and they are quite loud and looks quite buff. But suddenly one of them yells 'OMG!? A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!' He runs towards my dog, falls to his knees in front of her and plants the biggest gentle kiss on her forehead. He proceeds to overly praise, hug and pet her while speaking in a baby/cooing tone. The other guys just stare at him in disbelief. While he pets my dog he tells me about how much he just loves animals, my dog who is usually quite reserved is melting in his arms like butter. I just know deep down this kid is such a good person because of how he acted that night and because of how my dog instantly picked up on his energy."

Even though sensitive people who care for others often have a special place in their hearts for animals, there is a group of people who absolutely love animals but don't have a lot of positive feelings towards humans: narcissists. Pet owners who are high in the narcissism trait may love their furry friends because they see them as a reflection of themselves, while at the same time, seeing their relationships with people as little more than transactional.

6. They help the server

"When they stack their dishes at a table to help waiters/waitresses."

"Same here, I used to work in hospitality, nothing worse than having to reach for the plates on long tables. It was always so appreciated when they did it themselves."


homeless, unhoused, kindness, goodness, green flag A man helping a homeless person.via Canva/Photos

7. They expect nothing in return

"The good people give of themselves, but other good people notice it and make sure they give back to that person."

"Kindness that doesn’t need an audience. Especially nowadays because of social media."

If you are the type of person who gives to others and has a sense that you deserve something in return, the good news is that you can change into someone who gives without expecting anything back. ThriveWorks said the best way to learn that skill is to give with the intention of serving someone's specific needs, while being wary of takers who never contribute to others. When one becomes accustomed to giving without expecting anything in return, they begin to take joy in the act rather than feeling stressed out that they aren't being compensated.

8. The look on their face

"Their face. It's weird, but I often notice right away a pure/white heart by seeing it in their face. I don't even know how to describe it, it's a kind of genuine aura coming from their eyes or smile."

"I agree somewhat. But someone could also be kind but look unkind by their resting face, or could be affected at that moment by a negative emotional/mental state but it’s not an accurate way to judge how they treat others. The meanest looking person can be soft on the inside and the friendliest looking person can be internally vicious."

9. They know how to console people

"When I was 21, my dad died unexpectedly. The next day, to try to maintain some normalcy, I went to a friend’s birthday party. His new girlfriend, who I had never met before, was there. I told them about how my dad had passed without notice and I was having a hard time with it. Later that night I found a spot on a couch in another room and put my face in my hands, not sure if I was going to cry or not. My friends new girlfriend walked in the room with a glass of water. She sat next to me and scratched my back for a long time. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me and that young lady had a magnificent heart."

10. Kind with nothing to gain

"When they show kindness in moments where it gains them nothing like being patient with someone struggling, helping quietly without needing recognition, or treating service workers with the same respect as anyone else. The small, genuine gestures always reveal the biggest hearts."

"When a stranger sees you hurting and takes the time to see if you're ok."

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Science

The longest — and probably largest — proof of our current climate catastrophe ever caught on camera.

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

Exposure Labs

All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.

Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary. They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.

They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.


science, calving, glaciers

A glacier falls into the sea.

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ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going green

Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.

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It was the largest such event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier melt

A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.

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As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

Greenland, Antarctica, glacier calving

The glacier ice continues to erode away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

This article originally appeared 10 years ago.

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Humor

Texas neighbors have stepped up their spooky 'Halloween battle' and people are taking sides

"Is that all you got?"

Photo Credit: Kendell Aden

Halloween decoration battle heats up.

Move over Christmas, Halloween decorations just got more competitive—and spookier! For Aubrey, Texas residents Kendell Aden and Anthony Michael Lumpkins-Hood (and their respective families), it's almost a competitive sport—though truly, everyone wins.

It began–like many Halloween stories–with skeletons. The Aden family had recently moved into their new home when they noticed a giant skeleton hanging in a neighbor's front yard across the way. (Their backyard actually faces the neighbor's front.) Inspired, they jumped right in.


Aden narrates a now-viral Instagram video, "The people behind us put out their 12-foot skeleton. So of course we had to put out ours and add a little sign that said, 'Is that all you got?' So we were hoping to see that they'd retaliate. This was yesterday. Well, today we look out there and this is what they had to say back."

We flash to the giant skeleton holding a sign that reads, "More? You want more? I will play. How 'bout u?" She adds jokingly, "So this has turned into a full-on war."

This video alone got close to 300,000 likes on Instagram and nearly 2,000 comments. People got invested. "I can't wait to see what happens next!" one eager Instagrammer wrote. Another declared, "Finally, a battle I'm willing to follow. Let's go!!"

(One shadily asked, "How old are you?" with an eye-rolling emoji, to which Aden directly answered in earnest, "I'm 30.")

Turns out this particular neighbor, Anthony Michael Lumpkins-Hood (who goes by the handle @thechickennuggetz on Instagram), definitely recognized that the gauntlet had been thrown. One look at Hood's social media and you'll see Halloween decorations (and scary movies) are his fortes.

After the initial battle lines had been drawn, Hood gave a "sneak peek" of what was to come.

Here, too, the commenters were excited and supportive. One asked, "I wonder if traffic is slowing down in our neighborhood." Hood responded, "Yeah, we've definitely had quite a few people slow down or stop in the street to take a look!"

After People Magazine covered the story a couple of weeks ago, both friendly neighbors have stepped up their game, creating an even more magical and creative wonderland of horror.

Upworthy had a chance to chat with both Aden and Hood, who gave us insight into their fun shenanigans.

Looks like this all started in early September. Are people putting up decorations earlier than usual?

Aden: "We're always early birds. We always put it up early. So whenever we saw that our neighbors put theirs up, we jumped in immediately. Because that was honestly late for us! I don't think people are getting earlier (with putting stuff up), but I wish they would. I think Halloween should be September 1st to November 1st. And then Christmas November 1st onward."

Has Halloween always been big for you and/or your family?

Aden: "Once my son was about two, he would make us go to Home Depot just to look at the Halloween decorations, and that's when we really jumped in on it—because he loved it so much."

Hood: "Christmas was my favorite until I met my husband. Halloween is definitely his holiday, but he's pulled my excitement in, especially with the decorations!"

Do you think your neighbor inspired you to step up your game?

Hood: "Most definitely! Nice to have something friendly to do!"

Aden: "It's hard because ours is our back fence facing theirs. So our front yard is pretty crazy. We had already been going all out and now we just have to go all out in the front and the backyard. They definitely inspired us to decorate our backyard."


What's the next move in the decorations plan?

Aden: "We try to feed off each other, obviously. And so our next move is definitely going to be relevant to what they said with saying 'look at their pet.' So it's gonna have something to do with a pet."

She adds, "But it's getting expensive. A lot of the comments say, 'Oh this is what rich people look like,' but it's so funny because I'm a teacher's aide and my husband is in sales. We don't make a ton of money, so to the people who say we must be rich—no, we just spend our money on Halloween decorations."

Hood: "Can't spoil anything, just know that we plan to keep this going through Christmas!"

Has anyone else in the neighborhood joined in and tried to 'one up' you?

Aden: "Definitely some houses whose yards look awesome. I don't know if it's because they're trying to compete with us. I think it's just them being in the spirit!"

Has this brought you closer to your neighbors-in-battle?

Hood: "Yes! Before the Halloween skeleton war started, they had just moved in and we didn't know them. We've been in our home for a couple of years now. Now, we talk to them almost every day!"

He adds, "With all that's going on in the world right now, it's very nice to see the positive connection and the excitement we get from people on social media in regards to our decorations. Making people smile, telling us they are so invested in the skeleton war!"

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17 ridiculously simple money habits, according to a former investment banker

Nischa Shah cracks the personal finance code.

Credit: Nischa (YouTube)

Nischa Shah is our financial freedom guru.

Small actions lead to significant results. Take Nischa Shah, for example, who left her six-figure investment banking job and built a million-dollar content business instead. Her viral YouTube video, “17 Habits That Made Me Rich,” has racked up nearly 3 million views, in which she divulges the practical daily habits that gradually transformed her finances.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

“The key to getting rich isn’t life at the extreme, like waking up at 4 a.m.,” Shah explains at the video’s start. “It’s about forming micro-habits: tiny habits that you follow consistently. These small habits compound over time and not only have a big impact on your finances, but also on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.”

Shah's approach is refreshing. Her success stems from manageable, everyday practices that anyone can adopt, rather than radical lifestyle changes or complex strategies. She recommends smart, consistent habits that seem minuscule in the moment, but add up over time. Read on for Shah’s top tips:

17 game-changing financial habits, according to Nischa Shah

1. Create more than you consume

Shah highlights research from Thomas Corley’s Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, which shows that 67% of wealthy people watch less than an hour of TV daily, while 77% of those struggling financially watch significantly more.

Another interesting stat from Corley: only 6% of the wealthy watch reality television, compared to 78% of the poor.


wealth, finances, advice, money, millionaire Wealthy couple strolls away from helicopter.Photo credit: Canva

“The wealthy are not avoiding watching TV because they have some superior human discipline or willpower,” he writes. “They just don’t think about watching much TV because they are engaged in some other habitual daily behavior — reading.”

The takeaway here is that active creation trumps passive consumption. Whether it’s launching a YouTube channel, writing stories, or learning to code through interactive apps, spending even 15 minutes daily on creative activities builds valuable skills and experience.

2. Create distance from negative people

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn claims that we are “the average of the five people we spend the most time with,” meaning that we are greatly influenced by those around us.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Shah recommends keeping your distance from negative people who gossip, complain constantly, or bring toxic energy to the table, as these influences can subtly derail your process. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people who discuss building wealth and solving meaningful problems.

3. Create an 'I can do this' file

Over the past two years, Shah has developed a powerful habit: creating a personal “motivation archive.” Every time she achieves something significant, she writes everything down in painstaking detail, from the nerves that paralyze her beforehand to the admiration she receives afterwards.

She keeps a dedicated tab in Notion (this could work equally well in any other digital workspace) called “I can do this,” where she documents her achievements, milestones, and moments when she pushed through fear. By recording these experiences, she’s created a personal evidence file that reminds her of her own resilience whenever self-doubt creeps in.

4. Practice gratitude

Shah swears by gratitude journaling for boosting motivation and happiness. Though initially skeptical, she changed her mind after learning from Sophia Godkin that appreciation is fundamental to happiness. Every night at 8 p.m., Shah opens the Day One app to record the day’s highlights and things she’s grateful for, often adding a photo to capture the moment.


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Research shows that daily gratitude leads to meaningful reductions in anxiety and depression symptoms, improved sleep quality, enhanced mood and happiness, and increased life satisfaction. In fact, daily gratitude practices even benefit physical health, with studies showing increased cardiovascular health, improved longevity, an immune system boost, and stress reduction.

5. Automate saving and investing

In this segment, Shah advocates for the “pay yourself first” principle, which automatically stashes money in savings and investments before you can spend it. She automates transfers to saving and investment accounts on payday to ensure that her money grows steadily without requiring willpower or manual effort. This efficient system builds wealth while also naturally curbing impulse purchases.

Investopedia describes the “pay yourself first” method as simply building a retirement account, creating an emergency fund, or saving for other long-term goals, such as buying a house.

6. Get specific

When setting financial goals, Shah recommends being ruthlessly specific. Rather than vaguely promising to “save more,” she suggests concrete targets with straightforward math. For instance, “I’ll save $30,000 by the end of 2027 by setting aside $1,250 each month.” This precision transforms abstract financial goals into actionable items.


7. Audit spending into three buckets

Shah breaks down expenses into three practical buckets:

  • Fundamentals (housing, food, utilities)
  • Fun (dining out, travel, entertainment)
  • Future (investments, savings)

She reframes budgeting not as a restriction but as a tool for clarity: a reasonable budget is like a financial dashboard that shows exactly where your money goes. This practice can be quite liberating! Shah shares her secret—a free spending tracker that helps identify patterns and pinpoint areas of unnecessary spending.

8. Learn something new about money weekly

Financial literacy is an ongoing journey. Your relationship with money began at a young age, and these early experiences shaped everything—from whether you feel confident investing to the jitters you get when you check your bank balance. Luckily, you can rewire these patterns with persistent learning. Master a new investing app, negotiate your salary with confidence, and read up on tax strategies. Dedicate time each week to learning about investing, personal finance, and entrepreneurship. Even 20 minutes a week can lead to significant knowledge over time.


writing, finances, money, spending, millionaire Learning about finances is a life-long journey you should enjoy. Photo credit: Canva

9. Stop caring about other people’s opinions

Shah stresses that other people’s judgments about your financial choices can derail your progress. Worrying too much about what others think is a common problem, but Shah offers a surprisingly practical tip. When someone’s opinion starts to drag you down, ask yourself: Does this person’s point of view align with where you’re headed? If the answer is no, then redirect that energy back into your own financial goals. This simple filter has allowed her to take significant risks and put herself out there more often, without getting paralyzed by irrelevant criticism.

10. Understand and avoid a ‘yes’ trap

“The Yes Trap is a subtle yet powerful force that pulls us towards overcommitment,” writes Robert Puff. “It’s that nagging feeling that we should always say ‘yes’ to requests, invitations, and opportunities, even when our plates are already overflowing.”

Puff explains that this habit stems from people-pleasing instincts, the fear of missing out, and discomfort with saying "no."


Shah wholeheartedly agrees, calling out the yes trap for what it is: a reflexive tendency to agree to every request, even when you’re already stretched thin. Sure, saying yes feels like the easier option in the moment—less friction—but it quietly leads to burnout, resentment, and the erosion of your agency. How can one avoid this trap? Get clear on your goals and what you’re trying to accomplish; when your destination is sharp and specific, it becomes easier to recognize distractions and politely decline them.

11. Invest in yourself regularly

An overarching theme in Shah's video is the idea of investing in yourself—not just with money, but also with time and attention.

The best investment you can make is backing yourself and dedicating yourself to your own skills, knowledge, and capabilities. Shah recommends starting with a platform like Brilliant, which breaks down intimidating subjects like computer science, statistics, and algorithms into bite-sized interactive lessons that you can tackle on your phone. It’s a tool that makes learning feel like a breeze, rather than homework.


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12. Build multiple income streams

Millionaires don’t rely on a single paycheck; they stack income streams. Welcome to diversification, which means spreading your money across a mix of investments to smooth out your returns. The idea is that different types of investments perform differently over time, so it’s critical to invest across the three main asset classes (a.k.a. asset classes): cash, fixed income, and equities.

For Shah, that looks like money pulled from brand deals, affiliate commissions, YouTube ads, investments, and selling her own products. This way, if one stream dries up, the others are there to keep you afloat. Don’t know where to start? She advises beginning with one stream that matches what you’re already good at or genuinely curious about, then slowly adding new streams.

13. Simplify decision-making

It’s time to stop making the same decisions over and over. The path to financial freedom is paved with discipline: set clear rules for spending, saving, and investing, then let those guidelines do the heavy lifting.

Shah seeks to reduce decision fatigue by optimizing her life in small ways. Instead of agonizing over what to wear each morning, she maintains a slight rotation of work clothes. Apply this principle to any area of your life where you’re burning mental energy on autopilot tasks.

14. Network with intent and add value

Shah points to Chris Donnelly, the founder of Verb Brands. This digital marketing agency works with luxury brands like Jimmy Choo and Creed Fragrances. Within his first year, Donnelly pulled in $10 million, and largely credits the "who factor."


“He went through a phase where he was reaching out to 50 or more people a month, or asking other people to introduce him to someone,” Shah explains, recounting a recent conversation with Donnelly. “He stressed the importance of the Who Factor in everything that we do.”

15. Take action before feeling ready

Making mistakes is how you learn, and waiting around until you suddenly feel “ready” is a lost cause. Most of the time, that moment of clarity never really arrives. Successful people start before they’re ready and figure it out as they go. Trust your gut and take that first step, even if you’re winging it.


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16. Have open money conversations

While 66% of Americans believe that open conversations about money are the key to financial freedom, over six in 10 Americans (62%) don’t talk about money, according to Empower. In addition, the financial site finds that people would rather discuss politics (43%) and death (32%) than their own finances (24%). Seemingly, there’s no one to open up to: 75% of respondents say they don’t discuss finances with their friends, family (63%), or even their spouse/partner (46%).

Shah encourages people to talk about money: break the taboo and share what’s working for you and what isn’t. The point is to normalize the conversation so it stops feeling like an off-limits topic.

17. Apply the 1% progress rule

There’s no need to overhaul your entire financial life; just aim to get better by 1% each month. Save a little more, spend a little less, earn a little extra. While none of this feels dramatic in the moment, these tiny improvements add up to real financial momentum.


Your financial transformation starts now

Shah's journey from corporate burnout to millionaire content creator proves that financial freedom is real, tangible, and within your reach. Which habit will you start with today?

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