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Health

Therapist completes a 'year in review' for the past 5 years. Here are his biggest lessons.

The alternative to New Year's resolutions helps make goals based on self-reflection rather than lofty ideals.

past year in review, chris cordry
Photo by Paico Oficial on Unsplash

Imagine making decisions based on what has proven to make you happy.

We’re still fairly early into January, and definitely only into the early stages of 2023. And that means that New Year’s resolutions are still the topic of many conversations—whether they pertain to health, productivity or general satisfaction with life.

However, it’s no secret that the standard New Year’s resolution, however inspired it may be at first, often loses its luster after a short amount of time. Though there can be several reasons why, the common conundrum has many folks looking for more personalized approaches that they can actually stick to.

As it turns out, the best way forward might actually be a quick look into the past.

Those well versed in personal development might be already familiar with a common alternative to the New Year’s resolution called the “past year review.” This method was popularized by “The 4-Hour Workweek” author Tim Ferriss, and is often described as a more informed and actionable way to approach goals.


The idea is pretty straightforward—create two columns marked “positive” and “negative," then go through your previous year's calendar or schedule week by week and jot down the people, activities and commitments that triggered either positive or negative emotions for that month. Once you’ve gone through all 12 months, take note of what things most affected you, either positively or negatively. Lastly, schedule more of the positive things and less of the negative things. The whole process should take an hour or less.

past year in review

A simple list can reveal a lot.

Photo by Lauren Sauder on Unsplash

It’s a simple process, but it can offer profound insight. Take it from Chris Cordry, LMFT, who’s done it for five years now. Since 2018, Cordry has quit three different jobs, started his own business and taken extended travel trips—all “big leaps” he credits to starting this tradition in 2018.

For 2023, Cordry collected five years worth of data from his previous past year reviews (PYRs) and documented his findings in a blog post on his website.

Below is a quick recap of what he found to be the most powerful lessons:

Learning

Courses of all kinds were found valuable, although Cordry noted that taking more than one “online class at a time is a recipe for failure.” He also recalled that in-person classes were particularly “socially stimulating.”

Travel

Now that he’s older, Cordry finds traveling with friends or family creates a more positive memory than traveling solo—which he used to do for months on end, but now finds he gets lonely or depressed. Just goes to show that values change over time.

new years resolutions

Some like to travel in groups. Others prefer solo.

Photo by Felix Rostig on Unsplash

Creativity

Again, doing activities with people provided the most enjoyable experiences—Dungeons & Dragons, performing at poetry readings and going to movies with friends made it to the top of Cordry's list.

Work and Career

This area is where the “not to do list” becomes vital, Cordry warns, admitting that he continued several things from his list well into the following year, with “predictable consequences”—things like long draining commutes, long hours or working during important holidays. All of which stopped happening once he started his own business.

Though establishing a healthy work-life balance will look different to everyone, Cordry notes that time management is a major factor. “Having too much free time is just as bad as being busy and stressed out,” he writes. “All that time tends to get filled with low-quality activities like internet browsing, binge-watching, and overthinking.”

Relationships

The data was clear—moments with close friends and family yielded some of the most positive emotions and experiences, accounting for 80% during five years. Even attending parent-teacher conferences for his daughter felt “impactful.” Therefore, more trips and activities shall be scheduled.

Mental Health

Sunlight, fresh air and exercise can be powerful mood boosters. Cordry also learned that shorter, more frequent meditations as a daily practice made a bigger difference than long retreats.

Much to his surprise, COVID-19 didn’t affect his mental health at all, since he accepted that it was outside his control. What did make him suffer were the things he didn’t accept. Something I’m sure a lot of us can relate to.

meditation

Daily meditation can be just as impactful as long, less frequent meditation.

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

Though this is a self-reflection, it’s easy to see the PYR’s universal appeal—this kind of insight can be hugely beneficial for shaping a life that aligns with one’s true values. Obviously there’s no foolproof way to achieve successful goal setting, but this approach at least takes into account previous patterns, rather than forcing someone to walk blindly into the future under the premise of a “fresh start.”

You might be thinking—great, cool, I didn’t keep a journal or planner this year, so this is all meaningless. To that, Cordry has a few suggestions, like going through photos on your phone, as well as reviewing books you’ve read, films and shows you've watched, classes you've taken, music you've listened to, sites you've bookmarked and posts you've made to social media.

“Even just picking a couple of these can give you some perspective on your year,” he told Upworthy. “This can surface fun moments you may have forgotten about, as well as show you who you're spending your time with, and how.”

Experience might be a great teacher, but we still must sit down to study it. 2023 has only just begun. Whatever your goals are, perhaps one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is acknowledging what has brought you this far, in order to move forward in a healthy way.

Community

Georgia school board refuses the resignation of outed superintendent. Community in full support.

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Georgia school board refuses the resignation of outed superintendent

It should go without saying that having your private business shared with people you didn't consent to hearing about it can be upsetting. But imagine having it shared publicly, with the entire town after you took on a prominent role. It would be devastating. Except what happened to Dawn Clements, interim superintendent of Ben Hill County Georgia, was even more upsetting. Someone publicly outed her as gay.

Coming out as part of the LGBTQ+ community is something that someone does on their own time in the way they feel most comfortable. It can take years for someone to build up the courage to do it, and some people never feel comfortable enough to share that part of themselves with the world. But no matter when or if someone comes out, their existence within and outside of the queer community is still valid.

And while many people respect that the decision to come out is deeply personal, not everyone does and Clements was on the receiving end of hateful behavior. According to LGBTQ Nation, Danny Pate wrote the letter outing Clements as gay and sent it to local pastors before the letter began circulating the community. This led to Clements handing in her resignation.

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In a historic legal maneuver, ClientEarth is personally suing 11 of Shell’s board of directors for failing to bring its business policies in line with the Paris Agreement. The suit is the first time that a corporate board of directors has been sued due to a lack of climate action.

The Paris Agreement is a landmark 2015 international treaty to reduce global warming below 2° and, preferably, 1.5° Celcius.

ClientEarth is a Shell shareholder, giving it the right to bring a suit against the company for failure to manage the risk posed by climate change under the UK Companies Act.

“Shell’s Board is legally required to manage risks to the company that could harm its future success, and the climate crisis presents the biggest risk of them all,” ClientEarth said in a statement.

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In HBO’s “The Last of Us,” actress Melanie Lynskey plays Kathleen—a tough, formidable villain and ruthless leader of a rebel alliance, not to mention apocalypse survivor.

Do these attributes require any particular sort of body type? Common sense screams no. And yet, outdated views dictate that the answer must be yes.

Case in point: former "America's Top Model'' winner Adrianne Curry recently criticized the legitimacy of Lynskey for the role solely because of her naturally soft body frame, implying that only someone toned and athletic could pull it off.

Referencing a photo of Lynskey in a dress for InStyle Magazine, Curry tweeted, "her body says life of luxury...not post apocolyptic [sic] warlord. where is linda hamilton when you need her?"

Lynskey, who is no stranger to standing up to body critics, had some choice words to say in response.

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Education

Sojourner Truth's real 'Ain't I a Woman?' speech was nothing like the famous one we all read

A prime example of how historical distortions can paint a totally inaccurate picture.

The famous Sojourner Truth speech most of us learned is a fabrication.

For generations, students have read the extemporaneous speech Sojourner Truth gave at the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention in 1851, known widely as "Ain't I a Woman?" As a formerly enslaved Black woman speaking out against slavery and for women's rights, Truth made some powerful points in her speech—except the speech most of us read is almost nothing like the one she delivered.

The way "Ain't I a Woman?" is written makes it sound as if Truth walked straight off a Southern plantation. But Truth was a Northerner her entire life. The Southern dialect that permeates the popular version of her speech is a total fabrication.

It wasn't Truth who altered her speech, though. A white abolitionist woman named Frances Dana Gage published the speech 12 years after it was given, and her version is the one that became popularized, in all its glorious inaccuracy.

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David Rossler returns to the place where he hid from the Nazis during World War II.

David Rossler, 84, and his mother were taken in by Georges Bourlet and his four young adult children in 1944 and allowed to hide in their home in Brussels in the waning months of World War II. Rossler and his mother were Jewish, and Belgium was occupied by Nazi Germany. If caught, they’d be taken to a concentration camp.

Rossler had already lost his uncle and grandfather after they were taken to Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland and he would lose his father, hiding elsewhere, to an illness.

Bourlet and his family were also in danger if they were caught hiding the mother and child from the Nazis. "People who protected Jews were simply risking their lives. You wouldn't end up in jail, but in Auschwitz—and Auschwitz, you didn't end up anywhere but in the crematoria," Rossler said in a video produced by MyHeritage.com.

After Allied forces liberated Belgium in 1945, Rossler, who was born Daniel Langa and later took the name of his stepfather, moved to Austria and lost touch with the Bourlets.

As Rossler entered his 80s and was in declining health, his final wish was to thank Bourlet’s family for the incredible bravery and humanity he showed him and his mother during the war.

For years, Lionel Rossler, David’s son, did everything he could to find the family, including putting ads in the paper and posting on social media. After one such post, he received a message from Marie Cappart, country manager for MyHeritage in Belgium, who wanted to help.

MyHeritage is an online genealogy platform with 90 million family trees. Rossler's story hit close to home with Cappart.

"My husband lost his grandfather during the war. He died at the concentration camp in Auschwitz-Birkenau," Cappart told Newsweek. "My own great-grandmother also died in the camp at Ravensbrück. She was British and was in Belgium as part of the resistance. Sadly she was caught by the Nazis and deported. She never came back."

“After browsing records and cross-referencing data, Cappart found an Anne-Marie Bourlet, born in Auderghem in 1929,” Lionel said, according to SWNS. “She discovered that Anne-Marie married someone with the surname Dedoncker and had five children—all of them possibly still alive.”

“After a bit more research, Cappart found Xavier, one of Georges Bourlet’s grandsons, and managed to contact him,” he continued.

Finally, after 75 years, David Rossler returned to the place where he hid in 1944 and 1945 and thanked Bourlet’s five grandchildren.

“It was an incredibly emotional day for us,” Lionel explained. “I was able to see, with my own eyes, the place where my father was kept safe from the Germans all those years ago.”

“If I had Mr. Bourlet in front of me, I would want to kiss him,” said David. “To say thank you with all my body, with all my life, I am alive, I have a family of which I am very, very, very proud. To tell him that my life is thanks to him.”

Bourlet didn’t know it then, but his bravery saved the lives of nine people.

“Because of his heroic action, Georges was able to save the lives of my father and grandmother,” Lionel said. “Nine people were saved thanks to what he did; my brother, myself and our children would not be here today if not for his courage and kindness.”

As a final “thank you” to Bourlet and his family, the Rosslers want him to be recognized as Righteous Among The Nations at Yad Vashem, the World Holocaust Remembrance Center. This honor is for non-Jews who risked everything during the Holocaust to save Jewish people.

The medal given to honorees has an inscription with the Hebrew saying: "Whosoever saves a single life, saves an entire universe.”

Motherhood

LGBTQ daughter surprises mother with pregnancy after secret IVF

She thought she would never have grandchildren and got the surprise of a lifetime.

LGBTQ daughter surprises mother with pregnancy after secret IVF.

Many parents dream of becoming grandparents. Oftentimes, people think about grandkids before they even become a parent as a "when I'm old" daydream about what life will be like at a later stage. It shouldn't be surprising that some parents of adult children may feel a little bummed when their child decides not to have children or can't have them. Or in some cases, parents assume their child's membership in the LGBTQ community would prevent them from having babies.

The majority of parents simply want their children to be happy, so they readjust their dream and support their children. But in the case of one mom of an adult child, her assumption was simply wrong.

TikTok creator Aurelia uploaded a video to reveal a birthday surprise for her mother wrapped in a large box. She explains to her mom why she's recording but doesn't give away what's inside the box.

Shortly after unwrapping it, Aurelia's mom pulls a teddy bear dressed in a t-shirt and little pants out of the box. Through excited confusion, she yells, "What is this?!" before Aurelia instructs her to press the paw on the bear.

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