
A therapist is blowing minds by explaining how men can have sex with men and still be straight
03.02.21
via Pexels and @drjoekort / TikTok
Gay sex and relationships therapist Dr. Joe Kort is causing a stir on TikTok where he explains why straight men who have sex with men can still be considered straight. If a man has sex with a man doesn't it ultimately make him gay or bisexual?
According to Kort, there can be a big chasm between our sexual and romantic orientations.
"Straight men can be attracted to the sex act, but not to the man. Straight men having sex with men doesn't cancel somebody's heterosexuality any more than a straight woman having sex with a woman cancels her [heterosexuality]," he says in the video.
<p><br></p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@drjoekort/video/6931043975843319046" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="6931043975843319046" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@drjoekort" target="_blank" title="@drjoekort">@drjoekort</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/straightmen" target="_blank" title="straightmen">#Straightmen</a> can be with a man and still be straight <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/malesexuality" target="_blank" title="malesexuality">#malesexuality</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/kinktiktok" target="_blank" title="kinktiktok">#kinktiktok</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/sexualfluidity" target="_blank" title="sexualfluidity">#sexualfluidity</a><br> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/bee-6732032403629410306" target="_blank" title="♬ bee - Burbank">♬ bee - Burbank</a> </section> </blockquote> <script async="" src="https://www.tiktok.com/embed.js"></script></div><p>Kort says he isn't erasing bisexuality, but that it's an entirely different phenomenon from straight men who have sex with men. Bisexual men are attracted to both men and women romantically, but straight men who have sex with other men, are only into the sex, not the person.<br></p><p>"When straight men have sex with men, it's not a gay thing. It's a guy thing," he explains in a later video.</p><p>For the man who has sex with other men and considers himself straight, it's more about getting off than getting close. </p><p>The video has had a lot of negative comments, most saying that men who have sex with men are gay or bisexual, case-closed. "Can I eat steak and still be vegan?" one commenter asks.</p><p>Many also accused Kort of being mildly homophobic for giving straight men the option to have gay sex without having to confront the notion they may be gay or bisexual. </p><p>Kort's videos point out the seldom-discussed idea that sexual and romantic attraction are not the same thing. Then, by adding the twist that someone can be into sex with a certain gender without feeling any romantic pull, makes things even more confusing.</p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@drjoekort/video/6935131934943137030" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="6935131934943137030" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@drjoekort" target="_blank" title="@drjoekort">@drjoekort</a> There's a <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/difference" target="_blank" title="difference">#difference</a> between your <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/attraction" target="_blank" title="attraction">#attraction</a> and your <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fantasies" target="_blank" title="fantasies">#fantasies</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/lesbians" target="_blank" title="lesbians">#lesbians</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/women" target="_blank" title="women">#women</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/straightmen" target="_blank" title="straightmen">#straightmen</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/lgbt" target="_blank" title="lgbt">#lgbt</a><br> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Up-Beat-Married-Life-6831843160709138433" target="_blank" title="♬ Up Beat (Married Life) - Kenyi">♬ Up Beat (Married Life) - Kenyi</a> </section> </blockquote> <script async="" src="https://www.tiktok.com/embed.js"></script></div><p>The type of men that Kort describes could be aroused by another man sexually, but wouldn't feel comfortable or have any interest in being emotionally intimate with them. In fact, the emotional intimacy with another man may make them uncomfortable. It's just sex for sex's sake and what's wrong with that?<br></p><p>This same type of man may enjoy fantasizing about gay sex or watching gay pornography while having little interest in actually performing the act in real life.</p><p>Kort further explained his thoughts in a subsequent video.</p><p>"When I'm talking about straight men who sleep with men, I'm talking about a difference between who you're attracted to and what fantasies you have in your head. You have a sexual orientation and an erotic orientation," he says. </p><p>"And the things that are embedded in your erotic orientation that turn you on, that bring you to the finish line, can include other genders. You can imagine yourself being another gender," he continues.</p><p>Kort does a great job at explaining the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and that, for some, it spans gender. It may also help some men who are only into guys sexually and are unsure why they have zero romantic interest in someone, feel a little less confused.</p>
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Capital One Impact Initiative
Veterans across the country are struggling to find stable housing. This affordable housing community is ensuring Los Angeles vets have a place to call home.
02.13.21
Courtesy of Creative Commons
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After years of service as a military nurse in the naval Marine Corps, Los Angeles, California-resident Rhonda Jackson became one of the 37,000 retired veterans in the U.S. who are currently experiencing homelessness — roughly eight percent of the entire homeless population.
"I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with no heat for two years," Jackson said. "The Department of Veterans Affairs was doing everything they could to help but I was not in a good situation."
One day in 2019, Jackson felt a sudden sense of hope for a better living arrangement when she caught wind of the ongoing construction of Veteran's Village in Carson, California — a 51-unit affordable housing development with one, two and three-bedroom apartments and supportive services to residents through a partnership with U.S.VETS.
Her feelings of hope quickly blossomed into a vision for her future when she learned that Veteran's Village was taking applications for residents to move in later that year after construction was complete.
"I was entered into a lottery and I just said to myself, 'Okay, this is going to work out,'" Jackson said. "The next thing I knew, I had won the lottery — in more ways than one."
<p>Communities like Veteran's Village are contributing to the national decline in homeless veterans. <u><a href="https://www.huduser.gov/portal/sites/default/files/pdf/2019-AHAR-Part-1.pdf" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">According to The Department of Housing and Urban Development</a></u>, 793 fewer veterans experienced homelessness between 2018 and 2019.</p><p>That drop continued a steady decline over the past decade, as the number of veterans experiencing homelessness <u><a href="https://www.huduser.gov/portal/sites/default/files/pdf/2019-AHAR-Part-1.pdf" target="_blank">has fallen nearly 50 percent</a></u> since 2009.<br></p><p><a target="_blank"></a>National Equity Fund (NEF), a nonprofit LIHTC syndicator and partner to Capital One, brought Veteran's Village to the bank, which responded by providing a $14.3 million construction loan and $15.6 million long-term equity investment through the purchase of low-income housing tax credits.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY0NDgyNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1ODYwOTQ1N30.9Hx_lOBHw7k-4oEOdCCFG11hRY2rgQwgmlOKCFy7YmE/img.jpg?width=980" id="cc95e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ebfbc8429462c2ce7ca0764081868223" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="2349" data-height="1320">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Courtesy of Thomas Safran & Associates </small></p><p>"Everyone deserves safe, secure, stable housing — especially the heroes that protect our rights and freedoms," says David Musial, a Capital One Senior Director of the Bank's Community Finance team, which specializes in financing affordable housing. "We are honored to be able to support communities like Veteran's Village as stable affordable housing is fundamental to physical and financial health and access to opportunity."<br></p><p>Veteran's Village strives to be more than just an affordable housing development. Its staff functions as a support system to help residents navigate their individual situations to ensure that each resident is equipped with the tools they need to thrive.</p><p>"Through the support of Capital One, we were able to provide much-needed housing for U.S. Veterans," said Amy Hyde of Thomas Safran & Associates, an affordable housing development and management organization whose properties include Veteran's Village. "Our goal is to enrich the lives of the people who reside in our buildings and Capital One's funding is helping us do just that," Hyde said.</p><p>For Jackson, that goal is realized through the sense of community throughout Veteran's Village.</p><p>"It's home for people who served their country and want to serve each other," Jackson said. "We take care of each other and we look out for each other. We're a family here."</p><p>In addition to supporting housing for veterans, Capital One supports affordable housing for residents throughout the Los Angeles area, including <u><a href="https://nationalcore.org/communities/vista-grande-court/" target="_blank">Vista Grande Court</a></u>, an affordable development that supports people over 60 years of age and Palo Verde Apartments, which includes 49 affordable units with 25 reserved for formerly homeless veterans and their families.</p><p>Capital One's support to affordable housing communities in Los Angeles comes as part of its larger <u><a href="http://capital.one/2Gl20C3" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Capital One Impact Initiative</a><a href="http://capital.one/2Gl20C3" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">,</a></u> an initial $200 million, multi-year commitment to advancing socioeconomic mobility through advocating for an inclusive society, building thriving communities and creating financial tools that enrich lives.</p><p>Jackson said that while she is grateful for her living arrangement at Veteran's Village, there is a long road ahead in ensuring that every veteran has access to stable housing.</p><p>"I pray that there will be more communities like this built because there are so many of my veteran brothers and sisters on the streets that don't even realize their living situation doesn't have to be the way it currently is," Jackson said.</p>
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A college student who was fed up with his classmate has gone viral for calling out his own ignorance
08.08.19
You know that feeling you get when you walk into a classroom and see someone else's stuff on your desk?
OK, sure, there are no assigned seats, but you've been sitting at the same desk since the first day and everyone knows it.
So why does the guy who sits next to you put his phone, his book, his charger, his lunch, and his laptop in the space that's rightfully yours? It's annoying!
<p>All you want to do was walk in, sit down, get out your notebook and (try to) pay attention. But now? Now you've got to talk to a stranger about moving their stuff and there goes your day, already bogged down with petty annoyances.</p><p>Sound familiar? It should. </p><p>We've all got so much to do these days that interacting with people we see every day — not our friends, but our classmates, fellow commuters, co-workers, the people in line for coffee with us every day — can feel like a burden. </p><p>So, when these people do something we perceive as annoying, like putting their stuff on our desks, we don't have the time or the energy to assume their intentions or think about the lives they're leading. </p><p>But if we stepped out of ourselves for a second, we might just realize that we're all much more connected than we think, that our preconceived notions of others are usually just that — preconceived. And, often, inaccurate.</p><p>That's why this Twitter story about a guy who learned an important life lesson from a classmate he was frustrated with is going viral. </p><p>It's the perfect example of that "don't judge a book by its cover" adage we should have all learned in preschool but sometimes forget. And it starts the exact same way as this post — with a college student groaning on the inside as he sees someone's stuff on his desk. </p><div id="eee9e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="V1L9NG1565719086"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334328620011520" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Hey guys, I know I usually just post shitty jokes on my Twitter but bear with me because I wanted to share somethin… https://t.co/akgh4o7wNy</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334328620011520">1523280148.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="dabe2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="Z99REZ1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334330121510912" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">barely speaks English. The most advanced thing I've heard this guy say in English is "Wow, my muffin is really good… https://t.co/UeNtGqzktS</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334330121510912">1523280148.0</a></blockquote></div><br><div id="7a9f1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="O9K3WL1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334332935868416" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I was ALWAYS annoyed with this guy. I'm thinking "Dude, you know I sit in this seat every day. Why are you always s… https://t.co/am1nNvLqNE</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334332935868416">1523280149.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="b37f8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="CT1A1A1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334334789832704" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">But today I came to class and was running a few minutes late. I'm standing outside because I had to send a quick te… https://t.co/AEZqFuDwDr</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334334789832704">1523280149.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="65350" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="JXHCY41565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334336022896640" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">As I'm standing there on my phone another guy who was also late walks into the class before me and tried to take my… https://t.co/IfLRfNyPBi</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334336022896640">1523280149.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="1966e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="RVXXRG1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334337327370242" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">It was then that I realized this guy wasn't putting stuff on my seat to annoy me. He was saving me the seat every m… https://t.co/D6KzZecdqQ</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334337327370242">1523280150.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="82a6b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="WDGTU21565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334338996658177" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I ended up going into class and of course he cleared the seat and said "Ah, Tom. You here. Okay." And I did get a h… https://t.co/VOYPDnL2em</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334338996658177">1523280150.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="7a88e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="AZ42RQ1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334341131538432" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">The guy moved here from the Middle East to pursue a college education in America. He plans to go back after he gets… https://t.co/IUpWCCLtwN</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334341131538432">1523280151.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="ce92e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="XAKSXP1565719087"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334342473797632" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I asked him how he liked America as well. He said he misses his family but it's exciting to be here. He also said "… https://t.co/2aSbFRRJOl</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334342473797632">1523280151.0</a></blockquote></div><div id="b691d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="I16YHZ1565719088"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="983334343841075201" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Moral of the story? Don't do what I do and constantly only think about yourself. It took me nearly the entire semes… https://t.co/z8gYObep25</div> — Thomas McFall (@Thomas McFall)<a href="https://twitter.com/thomas___mcfall/statuses/983334343841075201">1523280151.0</a></blockquote></div><p>If not for this one day running late, McFall may have never realized what his classmate was trying to do. And he may have continued to think of him as annoying, maybe telling others about "the weird guy who was always trying to take up my space"... when all the guy was really trying to do was be kind. </p><p>We all misinterpret the actions of others sometimes. It's easy to do that! </p><p>But if there's one thing this story reminds us, it's that it's important to stop and remember that while you're living your life, other people are living theirs, so assuming best intentions can do us a great favor. </p><p>That's why we should step outside of our bubbles and engage with the world on a regular basis. </p><p>You could make a new friend. You might brighten someone's day. </p><p>But most importantly, getting out of your own head, checking your own biases, and giving others the benefit of the doubt will make you a more compassionate person. </p><p>You don't have to engage with everyone you meet, but the next time someone smiles and offers you a high-five? </p><p>Maybe just take them up on it. </p><p><em>This article was originally published on April 16, 2018.</em></p>
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Is the University of Texas alumni song racist? Student athletes speak out against 'Eyes of Texas.'
03.02.21
Controversy has been brewing for months at the University of Texas at Austin as student-athletes petitioned the school to stop playing the school's alma mater song, "The Eyes of Texas."
The issue is that the origins of the song are allegedly steeped in racism. It was written in 1903 by two students who were inspired by speeches given by then-UT President William Prather, in which he used the phrase "The eyes of Texas are upon you." Prather himself had been inspired by General Robert E. Lee—leader of the Confederate army that fought for the right to own slaves—who used to say "the eyes of the South are upon you."
That's not all. The song is set to the tune "I've Been Workin' On the Railroad," which has its own questionable origins, and according to the Austin American-Statesman, "The song debuted at a Varsity minstrel show, a fundraiser for UT athletics, and was at some points performed by white singers in blackface." (Minstrel shows were a long, disturbing part of America's history of racism, in which white performers made themselves into caricatures of Black people and Black performers acted out cartoonish stereotypes in order to entertain audiences.)
This summer, in the midst of nationwide protests against racial injustice, students at the university launched a petition asking the school to confront its historic ties with the Confederacy in the names of buildings on campus and to formally acknowledge the racial roots of the alma mater song. A second student petition asked the school to replace the song with one that didn't have "racist undertones" in an attempt "to make Texas more comfortable and inclusive for the black athletes and the black community that has so fervently supported this program."
<p>The school responded with a pledge to "own, acknowledge and teach about all aspects of the origins of 'The Eyes of Texas' as we continue to sing it moving forward with a redefined vision that unites our community." </p><p>The song stayed, but students protested by simply not participating in the singing of it. Some members of the school band said they didn't feel comfortable playing it, and most of the Texas Longhorns football team left the field when the song was being sung. </p><p>Some alumni and donors did not like that and made their feelings known in hundreds of emails, some of which were blatantly racist and some of which were blatantly childish. </p><div id="b03d8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b56fb35f83d93c810ed650a2be830a15"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1366395436374835200" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Emails obtained by @TexasTribune show alumni and donors threatened to stop supporting the university financially an… https://t.co/6OwXHJ0Drg</div> — KERA News (@KERA News)<a href="https://twitter.com/keranews/statuses/1366395436374835200">1614609033.0</a></blockquote></div><p>"My wife and I have given an endowment in excess of $1 million to athletics. This could very easily be rescinded if things don't drastically change around here," wrote one donor. "Has everyone become oblivious of who supports athletics??"<br></p><p>It seems that this donor has become oblivious of who actually performs the athletics that they support and enjoy. Is forcing Black athletes to participate in something they feel is demeaning to them any better than asking Black performers to dance in minstrel shows in order to earn your money? </p><p>"The Eyes of Texas is non-negotiable," wrote a long-time season ticket holder and graduate. "If it is not kept and fully embraced, I will not be donating any additional money to athletics or the university or attending any events." </p><p>To be clear, the school has kept the song. They're threatening to withhold donations not because the song wasn't kept, but because Black athletes aren't fully embracing it. They might as well say, "You will not only dance for me, but you will show me you enjoy it!" Gross.</p><div id="442d1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f849cabc64cfc43fce12a8ad3ad4702f"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1366409583602860036" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Really interesting how “The Eyes of Texas” which ~they~ claim is not racist, brings out the racism in the wealthy d… https://t.co/9x6VtuMvzi</div> — bryce (@bryce)<a href="https://twitter.com/brycelacy/statuses/1366409583602860036">1614612406.0</a></blockquote></div><p>"It's time for you to put the foot down and make it perfectly clear that the heritage of Texas will not be lost," wrote a donor who graduated in 1986. "It is sad that it is offending the blacks. As I said before the blacks are free and it's time for them to move on to another state where everything is in their favor."<br></p><p>So yeah, using the phrase "the blacks" is a pretty obvious tell, but saying Black people should move to another state if they don't like the racism in Texas is really something.</p><p>Caden Sterns was a team captain and safety for the Longhorns football team who left at the end of the season to enter the NFL draft. He posted yesterday <span></span><a href="https://twitter.com/CSterns_7/status/1366508489929986049" target="_blank">on Twitter</a> that he and his teammates were threatened by some alumni that they would "have to find jobs outside of Texas" if they didn't participate in the singing of the song. Wow. <br></p><div id="70c31" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="82fc7b24dfdfff778950801c3ea276b4"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1366508489929986049" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">My teammates and I got threatened by some alumni that we would have to find jobs outside of Texas if we didn’t part… https://t.co/uvZbjTu7Gb</div> — Caden Sterns (@Caden Sterns)<a href="https://twitter.com/CSterns_7/statuses/1366508489929986049">1614635987.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Black athletes—especially football players in football-loving Texas—are the backbone of the athletics program these alumni and donors cling to. And these people are willing to defund the athletics program over a <em>song</em>? Threaten the futures of these students over a <em>song</em>? Take down the entire institution over a <em>song</em>? Who exactly are the ones reallybeing overly sensitive here?</p><p>On the one hand, we have the actual harm of hundreds of years of racial oppression being called to mind by a song with unquestionably racist undertones, which students (who are literally the purpose of a university) are asking to be changed. On the other hand, we have the hurt feelings—or rather, mild discomfort—of people who haven't been students for decades who want to be able to sing a song because they've always sung it. These alumni and donors have made it clear that their priority is tradition over all things, including the very real issue of racism and the wishes of the Black athletes they rely on for the carrying forward their favorite sport. </p><p>If UT Austin decided to change the alma mater song, do you know what would happen? Nothing. No one would be harmed. After years of controversy, the Washington Redskins finally changed their name, and what happened? Nothing. No one was harmed. It turns out people get over these things pretty quickly. </p><p>Getting over a song or team name or building name being changed is a million times easier than getting over racism that has persisted for hundreds of years and continues to this day. Traditions can be fun and unite people, but if it's not fun for everyone and is actually causing a divide, then it's time for that tradition to be replaced with a new one. This really shouldn't be that hard to understand. </p><p>Good for the students for standing their ground. </p>
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