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Family

Why it's important for parents to add a touch of realism to help their kids reach their goals

A bit of honesty goes a long way.

goals, children studies

A mother makes cookies with her 2 children.

One of the most important parental goals is raising a child who can achieve their dreams. But no matter how smart or talented someone may be, a big part of achieving our goals is knowing how to put them into action.

Far too many people have lofty dreams but fall short because they get discouraged or don’t know how to create a map to achieving them. As the famously prolific author Stephen King once said, "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

So, how do parents prepare their children for success? According to research, it’s essential to paint a realistic picture and to prepare them for setbacks.

A 2018 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition says, “Rather than acting as cheerleaders giving facile encouragement, leaders ... might serve (others) better by providing a more sobering description of the challenges."


If your child’s goal is to make $100 with a lemonade stand, you should cheer them on and be as supportive as possible. But you should also let them know there may be some pitfalls along the way. There may be days when business is slow because no one is driving up the block. Some people who stop by the stand may not buy anything because they don’t have cash. Others may visit the stand and say they will come back but never do.

lemonade stand, kids goals, achievement

Some kids selling lemonade.

via Canon_Shooter/Flickr

That way, when the child runs into difficulty, they don’t feel like giving up. Instead, they know that it is all part of the process of earning $100.

Simply put, when you think something will be easy and then discover it's not, it's normal to feel like giving up. But if you anticipate challenges from the start, it's much easier to find the determination to work through them.

The Boys and Girls Club of America has similar advice for parents. Children know that adults often set goals and achieve them. However, because they are removed from the process, they may not know that achieving those goals often involves setbacks and unforeseen challenges.

So, when you set a goal for yourself, bring your child along on the journey so they can experience it first-hand. It will give them more confidence to pursue their own goals.

“Be open with them throughout the process, share what steps you’re taking to achieve your goal and be candid about setbacks and changes,” the Boys and Girls Club writes on its blog. “These conversations can be casual, but they show how much work you’re putting in that your teen may not realize you’re doing, helping your teen understand how something is earned with time and effort.

Ultimately, one of the biggest parts of achieving goals is managing expectations. It’s much better to know that there will be hardship along the way than to be surprised by it.

The emotional ups and downs in achieving a goal are perfectly explained in a viral meme called “The Emotional Journey of Creating Anything Great.” It shows how all great ideas sound exciting at first but can begin to feel impossible when the hard work kicks in. But once we make it through the “Swamp of Dispair,” things magically get easier.

The key is knowing that there is a swamp and pushing through it.

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.


However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

Family

'It's not Little Sun': Mom admits she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

It was fine 'til other people tried to say it and now she's confused.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off-guard and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either.

"I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."



@justusmoms29

Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"

Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.



The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

Sally Field took to Instagram to recall her 'horrific' illegal abortion at 17.

Sally Field, two-time Oscar winner and pretty universally beloved celebrity, took to Instagram on October 6, 2024 to share a harrowing story of being 17 and pregnant just before landing her breakout role as Gidget.

Field, 77, recalled living in a time before the landmark Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that affirmed the right to abortion in the United States (which, as we know, has since been overturned) .

"I had no choices in my life, I didn't have a lot of family support or finances…And then I found out I was pregnant,” she said, adding that "I still feel very shamed about it because I was raised in the '50s, and it's ingrained in me."

Without any safe, legal abortion options, 17-year-old Field relied on the help of a doctor who was a friend of her family to take her to get an illegal abortion.


“He drove me and his wife and my mother, in their brand-new Cadillac, to Tijuana." This experience would end up being "beyond hideous and life-altering," for Field and her family.

“We parked on a really scroungy-looking street, it was scary and he parked about three blocks away and said, 'See that building down there?' And he gave me an envelope with cash and I was to walk into that building and give them the cash and then come right back to him," she said.

Field received "no anesthetic" during the procedure. However, "There was a technician giving me a few puffs of ether but he would then take it away, so it just made my arms and legs feel numb weird, but I felt everything — how much pain I was in.”

This is when “the situation turned darker,” Field shared. “I realized that the technician was actually molesting me, so I had to figure out, how can I make my arms move to push him away? So it was just this absolute pit of shame. And then, when it was finished, they said, 'Go go go go go!', like the building was on fire. And they didn't want me there, you know, it was illegal!"

This all happened before Field’s life had begun, so to speak. "I'd never been out of the state, I'd never been on an airplane,” she said. And while she commended the doctor who helped her for his "generosity" and "bravery," as "he would've lost his license if anyone had found out,” she suffered nonetheless.

Still, after that, “fate, you know, something glorious outside of ourselves, whatever you believe, reached in," Field recalled. "And a few months after that, I began auditions. I didn't have an agent; I wasn't really an actor. I'd been doing it in high school constantly. And I began auditioning. And by the end of that year, I was Gidget. I was the quintessential, all-American girl next door."

sally field, sally field abortion, abortion laws, won't go back, kamala harris, election 2024A Sally Field with Don Porter and Betty Conner, 1965. upload.wikimedia.org

And here Fields really drove the point home, saying, "in reality, I was the quintessential, all-American girl next door, because so many young women, my generation of women, were going through this."

"And these are the things that women are going through now — when they're trying to get to another state, they don't have the money, they don't have the means, they don't know where they're going," she added. "And it's beyond, how you can go back to that and do that to our little girls and our young women, and not have respect and regard for their health and their own decisions about whether they feel they're able to give birth to a child at that time."

"We can't go back. We have to all stand up and fight,” she concluded, quipping, “and that was that lovely story."

The video quickly received a flood of comments from people thanking her for her honesty.

“Sally, thank you for sharing. As Brené Brown says, shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. I see you, I honor you. Thank you for your voice in a time such as this,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Wow. It takes incredible courage to share something so intimate & painful.”

Many were compelled to share their own similar stories.

“I know my Mom had to go through something similar and her husband, my Dad took her. They could not afford another child. Reminds me of the Muriel Rukeyser quote, ‘What would happen if one woman told the truth of her life? The world would crack open. Thank you for being one of those women who tell the truth.”

“I can’t believe I’m still telling my mother’s story! She’s been gone more than 20 years now, and would be appalled that we are fighting for this again! My mother, Mary Elizabeth Eyre-Letts, had an illegal back alley abortion in 1940s in Chicago. The guy would not marry her or pay, and the procedure was several hundred dollars – a lot at that time. To add another layer, she was legally blind and came to Chicago from a farm to attend a blind school. She said she ate scrambled eggs for weeks for lack of money to eat; and became anemic for loss of blood.”

“I went with a few friends to get legal abortions when we were younger. The young men that got them pregnant did not go with them. I, their gay friend, went with them. I see so many women sharing their stories of abortion, and I see zero men talking about how abortion saved their lives; The boys that got to go to university and pursue their dreams without being young fathers, the young men who didn’t have to pay child support payments to the woman that they were sexually active with, but not emotionally invested in. So many men are able to have the lives that they dreamed of because the woman they impregnated had access to a safe and legal abortion. And I want them to start talking about it.”

In a lengthy caption, Fields admitted she was at first “hesitant” to share her experience, but finally came to the conclusion that, “so many women of my generation went through similar, traumatic events and I feel stronger when I think of them. I believe, like me, they must want to fight for their grandchildren and all the young women of this country."

Clearly, her intuition was spot on.

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive.

It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of is team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:


Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.


He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”



Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

The City of Boise's employees get creative.

A new video on the City of Boise's brand new TikTok asks the question:

What's the scariest Halloween costume you can think of?

Below is what social media manager Elizabeth Kidd came up with. Can you guess what it is?

What is that thing?City of Boise/TikTok

If you guessed:

  • A ball of popcorn
  • Spray foam insulation
  • Or a scoop of lard

... you'd be wrong!

In the city's inaugural TikTok video, Elizabeth shares all about the horrors of 'fatbergs' — rock hard clumps of wet wipes and FOG (fats, oils, and grease) that clog up sewers.

She dresses up as the terrifying (and disgusting) glob and proceeds to run around City Hall scaring all of her coworkers.

@cityofboise

Name a scary movie that’s scarier than realizing that there might be a giant mass of bacon grease held together with used flushable wipes forcing its way through our water renewal system right now, we’ll wait.

The video was hilarious, obviously, but it was also educational — fatbergs can be incredibly destructive to the sewer system and are easily prevented by just teaching more people about them!

Commenters loved the "spooky" video, immediately comparing it to the beloved sitcom 'Parks & Rec.'

"I love this new season of Parks & Rec." one user wrote.

"We need more episodes," added another.

The similarities are obvious, from the deadpan delivery to the "talking head" interviews. Even some of the characters feel familiar, like the Mayor and Public Works Director.

'Parks & Rec' came under fire later in its run for not being explicitly political enough, but it did touch on a lot of topics that actually matter to communities.

We loved the characters and were laughing so hard that we didn't even realize we were learning about things like how parks get made, water access, privatization and public health.

The City of Boise's social team is trying to have the same effect.

In an election year, it's easy to forget the importance of local government.

The work local elected officials and public servants do usually has a much bigger impact on your life than who ultimately becomes the president.

But — city and town governments get a LOT less press.

"My goal with this platform - and all our social media! - is to help all Boiseans feel more connected to their city government and inspire them to get involved," Kidd says. "I hope that by creating [something] fun and educational, I create a few more Boise super fans."

Boise isn't the first city to try an approach like this. Lots of city and other local governments have made humorous TikToks about voting, recycling, and public works campaigns.

But right now, even with just one video, Boise is one of the most successful case studies,.

It's awesome to see people who are working hard on a local level to improve our lives get a well-deserved platform, and kudos to all the social teams out there who are willing to try a unique and comedic approach to get the message out.

We can't wait to see what the Boise team comes up with next.

Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.


The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17