6 alternatives to saying ‘let me know if you need anything’

If someone is drowning, you don’t wait for them to ask for help. You just take action.

woman crying with her hand on a rainy window
People going through major struggles don't always know what they need or how to ask for help.Photo credit: Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

When we see someone dealing with the loss of a loved one or some other major life crisis, it’s instinctual for many of us to ask how we can help. Often, the conversation looks something like this:

Us: I am SO sorry you’re going through this. What can I do to help?

Person in crisis: I honestly don’t know right now.

Us: Okay…well…you let me know if you need anything—anything at all.

Person in crisis: Okay, thank you.

Us: I mean it. Don’t hesitate to ask. I’m happy to help with whatever you need.

And then…crickets. The person never reaches out to take you up on the offer.

Was it that they didn’t really need any help, this person going through a major life crisis? Unlikely. As sincere as our offer may have been, the problem may be that we didn’t really offer them what they actually needed.

One of those needs is to not have to make decisions. Another is to not have to directly ask for help.

When a person is in a state of crisis, they can feel like they’re drowning. They might be disoriented and fatigued, and doing anything other than keeping their head above water long enough to breathe can feel like too much.

If someone is drowning, you don’t ask them what you can do to help or wait for them to ask. You just take action.

Here are some specific ways you can take action to help someone who you know needs help but isn’t able or willing to ask for it:

1. Make them food

It may be tempting to ask if you can make them a meal and wait for them to say yes or no, but don’t. Simply ask if they or anyone in their household has any dietary restrictions, and then start shopping and cooking.

pasta, food, help, easy-prep meals
Easy-prep meals are great. Photo credit:u00a0Engin Akyurt/Pexels

Meals that can be popped in the refrigerator or freezer and then directly into the oven or microwave are going to be your best bets. Include cooking or reheating instructions if it’s not obvious. Disposable aluminum trays are great for homemade freezer-to-oven meals and can be found at just about any grocery store. Casseroles. Stir fried rices. Soups. Comfort foods.

If you don’t cook, you can buy them gift cards to local restaurants that deliver, or give them a DoorDash or UberEats gift certificate (large enough to cover the delivery, service fees and tip as well, which combined can be as much as a meal sometimes).

If you want to make it a community-wide effort and no one else has done so yet, set up a “meal train,” where different people sign up for different days to bring meals to spread out the food help over time. There are several free websites you can use for this purpose, including Give In Kind, Meal Train, and Take Them a Meal. These sites make it super easy for anyone with the personalized link to sign up for a meal.

2. Clean their kitchen and/or bathrooms

Kitchens are always in use, and keeping up with dishes, especially in a house full of people, is a challenge even under normal circumstances. Same with keeping the refrigerator cleaned out. Same with cleaning the bathroom.

washing dishes, sink, cleaning
There are always dishes to wash. Photo credit:u00a0Karola G/Pexels

Rather than asking if they want it done, as many people won’t want to say yes even if they would appreciate the help, try saying something like, “I want to come and make sure your kitchen is ready for you to make food whenever you want to and that your bathroom is a clean space for you to escape to whenever you feel like it. Is Tuesday or Wednesday at 1:00 better for you?”

The fewer complex decisions a person in crisis has to make the better, so saying, “Is this or that better?” rather than offering open-ended possibilities can be helpful.

3. Do laundry

Offer to sit and chat with them, let them vent if they need to…and fold their laundry while you’re at it.

laundry, washing machine, dryer, cleaning
There is always laundry to do. Photo credit:u00a0RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Are they the kind of people who might be embarrassed by you seeing or handling their underclothes? Fine. Wash, dry and fold towels or bedsheets instead. Just keep the laundry moving for them.

And if it doesn’t feel appropriate or desirable for you to do their laundry at their house, you can offer a pick-up laundry service, either yourself or an actual hired service. Tell the person to put bags or bins of laundry at the door and you (or the service) will come pick it up and bring it back clean and folded the next day. That’s a great way to be of service without feeling like you’re intruding.

4. Run errands for them

“Hey, I’m heading out to the store, what can I grab you while I’m there?” is always a welcome phone call or text. Let them know when you’re going to be running your own errands and see if there’s anything they need dropped at the post office, picked up from the pharmacy, or anything else.

food, groceries, bags
Offer to pick stuff up when you're on a grocery run. Photo credit:u00a0Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels

You can also offer to run errands with them. “Hey, I’ve got some errands to run. Do you want to join me?” They may have no desire to leave the house, or they may desperately want to leave the house, so be prepared for either answer, but the offer is solid. Even just not having to drive might be a relief if they have things they need to pick up or drop off places.

5. Provide childcare

If the person is a parent, taking their kid(s) out for a chunk of the day can be a big help. Caring for yourself is hard when you’re going through a difficult time, and the energy a person might use to actually do that often gets usurped by caring for others. Obviously, parents can’t just neglect their children, so anything you can do to relieve them of that responsibility for a while is gold.

childcare, caring, kids, adults, helping out
Caring for someone's kids is one of the most helpful things you can do. Photo credit:u00a0Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

Offering to take the kids to do something fun—a day at the park, ice skating, etc. is even better. A parent knowing their kid is safe, occupied, and happy is its own form of relief.

6. Ask what they’re struggling with and focus your help there

While all of these practical household things are helpful, there might be some people who find comfort or solace in doing those things themselves. If that’s the case, talk with them about what their immediate needs are and what they’re having a hard time dealing with. Then focus your energies there. “What can I do to help?” may not be as effective a question as “What are you having a hard time doing right now?” They may not know what kind of help they need, but they probably know how they’re struggling.

hugging, friends, support, caring
A hug can go a long way. Photo credit:u00a0Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

One person might be lonely and just want some company. Another person might need a creative outlet or a mindless distraction or something physical like going for a walk or a hike. Someone else might have pets they need help caring for, a garden that needs tending, or the oil changed in their car. Someone might even need a person to serve as a shield or buffer between them and all the people coming to offer their condolences.

Note that many of these things are basic life maintenance stuff—those are often the things that get hard for people when they’re dealing with the emotional and logistical stuff surrounding whatever they’re going through, and they’re often the easiest things other people can do for them. A time of crisis is not a normal time, so normal etiquette, such as asking if you can or should do something rather than just letting them know you’re going to do it, doesn’t always apply.

If there’s a specific thing with specific tasks, such as planning a funeral, that might be a good opportunity to ask how you can help. But people deep in the throes of grief or struggle often need someone to take the reins on basic things without being asked to. Again, there’s a good chance they feel like they’re drowning, so don’t wait for an invitation. Just grab the life preserver, put it around them, and do whatever needs to be done to get them to shore.

This article originally appeared last year.

  • Teachers strut down ‘runway’ with lost-and-found items, and parents are cackling
    A teacher laughing with her students (left). A pile of clothing (right). Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Teachers strut down ‘runway’ with lost-and-found items, and parents are cackling

    Every school has hundreds of kids pass through its doors on a daily basis. Things are bound to get left behind. But what’s really wild (and the bane of many parents’ existence) is that many of those jackets, hats, or—God forbid—a single shoe sit in the school’s lost-and-found bin, doomed to never see the light…

    Every school has hundreds of kids pass through its doors on a daily basis. Things are bound to get left behind. But what’s really wild (and the bane of many parents’ existence) is that many of those jackets, hats, or—God forbid—a single shoe sit in the school’s lost-and-found bin, doomed to never see the light of day again.

    One group of teachers decided to offer their students a kind—and creative—reminder to grab their forgotten treasures: a good old-fashioned fashion show.

    In a now-viral video shared by retired kindergarten teacher Leslie Johnson, we see teachers strut down a makeshift outdoor runway, faces fierce, each sporting at least five or six clothing items on hangers as *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye” plays in the background. Holy moly, the number of clothing items is truly insane. Is this a year’s worth, or a week?!

    Watch:

    The gag is not only hilarious but clearly effective, as we also see quite a few kids running up to reclaim their items. So there’s that.

    The video has since been viewed a whopping 3.6 million times, garnering a ton of praise from parents whose kids never bother to look for their missing stuff in a spot specifically for that kind of thing:

    “This is the MOST genius thing I have ever seen!! You would think it wouldn’t be that difficult for kids to find their belongings in a lost and found bin, but nope they don’t and then the clothes get shipped down to the nurses office whether wanted or not!!”

    “I can relate to this so well.My son within the 4 days of school starting, lost four jackets during winter time.”

    “I’ve seen 3 hoodies that look like my son’s and he doesn’t even go to that school! 🥴”

    “My son lost two jackets in two days. I love this.”

    “I know at least $300 of my hard earned dollars would be on this catwalk.”

    On that note, many even suggested that parents—who are the ones earning early gray hairs actually looking for these items—should have attended.

    “This needs to be a parent day too cause these kids don’t know their own dang clothes 😂😂😂”

    “They need to do this at parent teacher conferences 😂😂”

    Tips to help prevent kids from losing stuff…without losing your mind

    Listen, kids will be kids, but the tips below might help at least lessen the frequency of things going missing. The key is to actively involve kids in any of these strategies so that they are learning responsibility.

    Label everything

    This is a tedious one, but very helpful. It might not keep a student from forgetting something, but if another student or teacher can see who the item belongs to, it certainly increases the chance of that item getting back to its proper owner.

    Create packing routines 

    Establish a “pack and check” routine for both morning and afternoon to ensure all items are accounted for before leaving home and school.

    Reduce clutter

    Limiting the number of items carried to school makes it that much easier to manage.

    Color-code subjects

    Assign specific colors to subjects to help children quickly identify whether they have the correct notebooks or folders, such as red for science or yellow for math.

    Use checklists 

    Have children write a list of their key belongings that need to leave the house in the morning and return home at the end of the day. This helps them visualize and verify that they have all the necessary items. Ideally, kids will eventually remember what to keep track of and not need the list. But even if they don’t, they’ll at least have tangible tools to keep things organized.

    kids, funny, school, lost and found, viral
    A student with her backpack. Photo credit: Canva

    That said, don’t be surprised if you still find your child’s sweater at the next lost-and-found fashion show. 

  • Recruiter notices that recent job postings reveal a big shift in American work culture
    A woman waiting for a job interview.Photo credit: Canva

    There has been a big shift in the delicate interplay between employers and employees since the COVID-19 pandemic. In pandemic-era America, job seekers had the advantage due to labor shortages caused by early retirements, long COVID, caregiving needs, and generous government relief programs.

    There has been an economic shift over the past two years, with unemployment rising due to disruptions in global trade, declines in manufacturing, and the rise of artificial intelligence. That means the pendulum has swung in the other direction, and employers now hold the stronger hand.

    How has America’s job market changed?

    Popular TikToker Melissa Marcus, a career coach and recruiter, explained in a recent post that the shift between employees and employers means corporations now expect new hires to be ready to work.

    “All over my LinkedIn feed, there are job postings now that are like, ‘if you’re looking for a 9-to-5 and you don’t want to be challenged, then this job is not for you,’” Marcus told her followers.

    @missy23232

    If you are in an active job search, this video is for you. Corporate America is starting to shift in the way they are showcasing job descriptions to potential candidates. #creatorsearchinsights #jobsearchtips #jobsearch #corporatelife #careeradvice

    ♬ original sound – Missy | Job Search Coach

    “Corporate America has always done an ebb and flow around this. The minute the job market becomes such that they are in control, the corporate culture starts to fall apart,” Marcus said, noting that this particular trend is “certainly true” in the tech space. “They have moved into this place of ‘We don’t care anymore. If you wanna come work for us, we’re gonna work you harder, we’re gonna pay you less, and you’re gonna love it.’”

    This temporary shift toward an unhealthy work environment may prompt some people to rethink their options when considering a career change and focus on workplaces where culture comes first.

    job interview, handshake, corporate America, good interview, meeting new boss
    A woman in a job interview. Photo credit: Canva

    How to find a job with a good culture

    If you’re looking for a job and want to be sure the company supports a healthy work-life balance, there are a few ways to approach your search.

    You can check out websites that host company reviews, such as Glassdoor and Indeed, where current and former employees give you an inside look at companies. You should take some of these reviews with a grain of salt, because current employees aren’t likely to write negative reviews about where they work. These sites are good for reading the tea leaves of a workplace, or noticing patterns that give you a good idea of what it’s like to work there.

    When it comes to the industries where people are happiest, companies with mission-driven work tend to score among the highest in employee satisfaction. A recent survey found that people who work in science and pharmaceuticals report an overall job happiness score of nearly 92%, higher than creative arts and design (84%) and environment and agriculture (81%).

    woman with resume, job interview, happy woman, professional woman, got the job
    A woman holding her resume. Photo credit: Canva

    At a time when it’s becoming harder to land a new job, finding a position at a company with a great culture may feel like a luxury. But by looking into the right industries and asking the right questions, you can give yourself the best chance of finding a job that offers satisfying work and treats you with dignity.

  • Man clearly explains the difference between a road, street, avenue, and more in just 2 minutes
    A man succinctly explains the difference between a road, street, avenue, and more. Photo credit: @cincy_mfc/Instagram
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    Man clearly explains the difference between a road, street, avenue, and more in just 2 minutes

    All roads might lead to Rome, but what about avenues? Boulevards? Drives? Do all these words essentially mean the same thing? And while we’re on the subject, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why is English so complicated?! In a decidedly uncomplicated two-minute-long Instagram video, a man named Karim,…

    All roads might lead to Rome, but what about avenues? Boulevards? Drives? Do all these words essentially mean the same thing? And while we’re on the subject, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why is English so complicated?!

    In a decidedly uncomplicated two-minute-long Instagram video, a man named Karim, who frequently posts “fun fact” content, explains, “I know we tend to use roads, streets, boulevard, avenue, all of these things kind of interchangeably, but there are some differences between these things.”

    Breaking it down

    Mercifully, he breaks down those differences so we don’t have to.

    A “road” is a broad, generic term for any pathway that connects two points, found in both rural and suburban areas. Roads are designed to move traffic between locations.

    Meanwhile, “streets” are found exclusively in towns or cities and feature buildings and/or sidewalks on both sides. They often accommodate both vehicle traffic and pedestrian activity.

    In other words, “roads” connect any two places, while “streets” are part of a city’s infrastructure. For example, you might take a road to travel between cities but drive down a street to find a shop.

    Moving on, Karim explained that “avenues” are wider than streets and are typically separated by a median. They often feature trees and landscaping on either side, in addition to buildings. According to Southern Living, avenues also run perpendicular to streets.

    Boulevards” are even wider than avenues and also feature a median, along with more extensive landscaping and formal lighting. While both avenues and boulevards are designed for heavy traffic flow, boulevards often feel more park-like or grand in scale.

    street vs road, street signs, english, fun facts
    A tree-lined road. Photo credit: Canva

    Unlike a street, which is grid-like and structured for city life, a “drive” is shaped by the natural topography—such as hills or lakes—and is more commonly found in scenic or residential areas.

    Speaking of residential areas…

    A “lane” is typically a narrow road that acts as a small residential street, generally lacking shoulders or a median. A “way,” on the other hand, is usually a small side street or a path that connects other streets within neighborhoods.

    Both “courts” and “places” refer to roads that lead to a dead end. However, a court typically ends in a round cul-de-sac, whereas a place is straight.

    street vs road, street signs, english, fun facts
    A cul-de-sac. Photo credit: Canva

    Karim admitted that there were still other terms he could have covered—such as terraces, parkways, and groves—but he did a great job explaining the basics.

    And for anyone curious: “terraces” refer to streets situated on elevated ground or along the top of a slope, “parkways” involve multiple lanes and are designed for passenger vehicles and some heavy trucks, and “groves” appear to be courts surrounded by trees.

    Viewers react

    If you were surprised by just how unexpectedly engrossing all this was, you’re not alone. Here are some of the comments on his video:

    “I never knew!!!😃”

    “Showing this to my students! Interesting and educational! Keep them coming!”

    “Fascinating. I thought they just chose what sounded nice!”

    “I wonder how many folks in charge of naming roads these days follow these guidelines.”

    And that is certainly something worth noting. Part of our collective confusion almost certainly comes from the fact that many of these terms are used interchangeably—as many viewers have apparently experienced firsthand:

    “My residential street, officially, according to the postal service, is a Boulevard, but in reality is not. We don’t like to call it one. When there’s a parked car, you can barely pass if there’s an oncoming car. Definitely not what you described, which I what I think of when the word boulevard is supposed to used.”

    “In my town there’s a blvd that is actually only a cut-through road that at one point was [an unnamed] gravel road. Not much of a boulevard 🤣”

    Okay, so maybe a little too much poetic license is taken (especially with “boulevard”), but at least we all know something we likely didn’t know before!

  • A teacher asked students to draw a square with 3 lines. How the kids approached it was fascinating.
    Can you draw a square with three lines? Photo credit: Canva

    Logic puzzles and brain teasers have long been used to challenge our minds and encourage critical thinking. Sometimes the most intriguing puzzles are the ones that seem the simplest. For instance, a teacher in India, Raviraj Master, posted a seemingly simple yet seemingly impossible problem for his students: “Draw a square with three lines.” That’s it. Could they do it?

    Student after student came up to the board to make an attempt. One by one, they drew three lines, which of course did not add up to a square. One student cleverly drew three sides of a square with lines and the fourth side with a dotted line. That move demonstrated creative thinking, but it was not the solution.

    Finally, a student walked up to the board, drew a square with all four sides, and then drew three lines inside it. That was it. She had drawn a square with three lines. Problem solved.

    Thinking critically about wording

    The solution is so straightforward that most people miss it. It’s not that it’s hard; it’s that our brains interpret the prompt a certain way and go full speed ahead with that interpretation. It’s an excellent lesson in thinking critically about how something is worded and what is being asked.

    For instance, “Draw a square using three lines” would be a totally different ask than “Draw a square with three lines.” Just that one-word difference changes the possible meaning of the prompt. What if the teacher had asked, “Is there another way these words can be interpreted?” Proactively looking at each word to see if it could have a different meaning makes puzzles like this one a little easier.

    However, the lesson extends far beyond silly brain teasers. Advertisers, politicians, and others who exploit the power of persuasion sometimes use words in ways that confuse or mislead.

    The logical fallacy of equivocation or ambiguity

    For instance, let’s look at the logical fallacy of equivocation, also known as the fallacy of ambiguity. Using words that have more than one meaning makes it easy to be vague and leave statements open to interpretation.

    In our brain teaser, the word “with” could mean “using,” which is the way most students interpreted it. But “with” can also mean “accompanying,” which is how it’s used in the actual solution.

    Politicians use ambiguity a lot. Philosopher Justin D’Ambrosio called it “manipulative under-specification.” Using terms that are open to multiple interpretations gives politicians plausible deniability if you disagree with them. They can simply say they meant something different. Even important concepts like justice, fairness, and democracy are underspecified terms, making it easy for politicians to use them in slogans or soundbites without detailing what they mean.

    Ambiguity can be used to manipulate people via the media as well. Sharon Haigler and C. Anneke Snyder’s “Propaganda Techniques in Media” handout at Texas A&M University lists 12 media propaganda techniques. Check out number 10:

    Obfuscation: Intentionally confusing the issue with vague, non-specific language. By avoiding clarity, propagandists create uncertainty and prevent critical analysis. Complex legal jargon or ambiguous statements serve this purpose.”

    Understanding ambiguity may help us understand each other

    It’s wise to think critically when it comes to wording, whether we’re trying to solve a silly logic puzzle or serious social and political problems. Pay attention to words that are vague. Ask what various definitions or interpretations there might be for ambiguous terms.

    On the positive side, staying aware of words with multiple meanings can sometimes help us see where others are coming from. Sometimes disagreements are due to defining a word differently, rather than an actual issue. So many words in our social and political discourse require definitions before we engage. Otherwise, we risk talking past one another rather than meaningfully discussing things with one another.

    Amazing what we can learn from a simple brain teaser, isn’t it?

  • How one teacher came up with the now-viral ‘Tattle Phone’ idea being hailed as a classroom gamechanger
    Anais Zavala shows how to use the Telly Tale Phone.Photo credit: @tellytalephone/TikTok

    If you teach young children, or have young children in school, you might have heard of the viral “Tattle Phone.”

    On TikTok, you’ll find several videos of teachers raving about the product, which they’ve largely purchased on Amazon, for the way it gives students a way to vent while sparing their own sanity.

    Not to mention it provides some grade-A entertainment to boot. Because who can resist piping-hot tea like “Micha burped on purpose!” and “Evan has TWO erasers in his pencil pouch!”

    But what you may not know is that this trendy product stems from the brainchild of a real educator looking for impactful ways to curb tattling in her own classroom.

    @tellytalephone

    Telly Tale Phone ❤️ record your memories, tattles, stories and so much more. #fyp #parati #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #maestra #education #tattletail

    ♬ original sound – Telly Tale ™ ❤️

    Over her 12 years working as a teacher and counselor for transitional kindergarten students through fifth grade, Anais Zavala noticed that “constant tattling” had become a major disruptor to learning. Knowing that kids already associate phones with being listened to, she thought it might be the perfect way to make them feel seen in a structured setting without being so distracting for everyone else.

    And thus the original “Tattle Phone” was born in 2023

    The idea is pretty simple: students walk up to the phone, which has a small Bluetooth recording device that captures all their complaints. But Zavala didn’t stop there. After all, the intention wasn’t just to “stop kids from speaking,” she tells Upworthy, but to focus on “teaching them how to speak, reflect, and resolve conflicts.”

    So, using both her teaching experience and behavioral specialist expertise, Zavala also created a curriculum (available in English and Spanish) that helps educators teach kids to manage conflict and express emotions, also known as Social-Emotional Learning, or SEL.

    One example is learning how to identify the “size” of a problem. In the cute graph below, “itty bitty” problems are represented by a bee, “medium” problems by a monkey, and “big” problems by a giraffe. Each category also includes images of possible solutions, such as breathing deeply, talking to an adult, or calling an ambulance.

    tattle phone, classroom etiquette, teachers, gifts for teachers, parents, kids, kindergarten
    Measuring the size of a problem. Photo credit: Anais Zavala, used with permission

    The reflective aspect became so integral that Zavala eventually renamed and trademarked her device the “Telly Tale Phone,” because she wanted it to feel less about reporting and more about processing what happened. Telling, versus tattling, if you will.

    So, did it work? Yes, in more ways than one 

    Zavala noticed that not only did the Telly Tale Phone result in fewer classroom interruptions, but students also became more mindful with their tattles. They began pausing to rethink what they wanted to say and often tried to solve problems on their own. Other teachers reported similar results: increased independence, better peer conflict resolution, and reclaimed instructional time.

    Unsurprisingly, as Zavala’s Telly Tale Phone began making a splash, similar products started popping up. While Zavala understands that competition is “normal when something meets a real need,” she maintains that what makes the Telly Tale Phone more than a “novelty” item is its structured reflection system. It treats tattling as a learning opportunity rather than something to be squelched entirely.

    “Even though more products are coming out, my focus has always been staying true to the educational mission,” she said. “Our focus has always been impact — not just popularity.”

    Where to buy your own Telly Tale products

    In addition to the Telly Tale Phone, Zavala also sells an adorable Ellie the Telly Elephant stuffie with a similar Bluetooth recording device tucked into its ear, for kiddos who might need something on the softer side.

    If you’d like to support Zavala’s small business, you can check out the Telly Tale Phone website here, as well as follow the Telly Tale Phone socials here and here

  • 6th-grade teacher quits rather than remove harmless sign from her classroom
    An exhausted teacher takes a break in her classromPhoto credit: Array

    Alright, that’s it. We’ve finally had enough in this country. In a move that’s long overdue, we’re finally cracking down on… *checks notes*…basic human kindness?

    The orders have come straight from the top. Being nice to people who are different than you is now bad. Creating environments that are welcoming and inclusive of everyone? Also bad. What’s most disturbing is just how far these mandates are trickling down—all the way into our schools.

    A 6th grade teacher in Idaho was recently told by school administrators to remove a controversial sign from her classroom. She refused.

    Sarah Inama, teacher resigns, West Ada School District, Idaho, everyone is welcome here, school controversy, content neutral policy, DEI, academic freedom, viral letter
    An angry elementary school teacher sits in class Canva

    Earlier this spring, world civilization teacher Sarah Inama at Lewis and Clark Middle School was told that one of the posters in her class was inappropriate. The school asked her to remove it.

    Initially, she complied, but upon reflection and discussion with her husband, decided that it didn’t feel right. She needed to take a stand. So Inama put the poster back up and left it visible for all to see, even after administrators warned her she could lose her job over the noncompliance.

    Finally, among growing outcry and threats of termination, Inama decided to resign rather than remove the poster. She bravely decided to stick up for her controversial beliefs, even though she knew her personal opinion may not be popular.

    Just wait until you see the outrageous sign. Here it is:

    Seriously, that’s it. The sign reads “Everyone Is Welcome Here” and shows hands of different colors. This is the poster that was deemed not appropriate for the public school environment.

    The district’s chief academic officer Marcus Myers clarified that, “The political environment ebbs and flows, and what might be controversial now might not have been controversial three, six, nine months ago.”

    Inama’s sign was said to have violated the school’s “content neutral” policy, which prohibits any speech or messaging that might reflect personal opinions, religious beliefs, or political ideologies.

    What’s hard to believe is that a sign meant to show kids that they are welcome in Inama’s classroom somehow reflects a “personal belief” that the school won’t tolerate. The sign made no mention of religion or LGBTQ+ identities or political ideologies; and it was still deemed too woke. That’s extremely frightening.

    Inama received an outpouring of support from the community, but it wasn’t enough to change the district’s mind. After her resignation, she didn’t hold back, sharing her resignation letter with local news.

     

    “This will be my last year teaching in the West Ada School District, and it saddens me to leave under these circumstances,” Inama’s letter begins.

    “I cannot align myself nor be complicit with the exclusionary views and decisions of the administration. It is deeply troubling that the people running this district and school have allowed a welcoming and inclusive message for my students to be considered controversial, political, and, worst of all, an opinion.”

    “I hope for the sake of the students in your district that you can remember the core values of public education,” she concludes. “To serve all citizens, foster an inclusive and safe learning environment, and protect your staff and students from discriminatory behavior.”

    And now, the education system has lost a talented and passionate teacher because of it. But at least Inama hasn’t gone quietly, and with millions of outraged supporters all over the country and now world, we probably haven’t heard the last of this case.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Professor breaks down how a PhD differs from a master’s degree in layman’s terms
    Graduation is a time to celebrate, whatever your degree.Photo credit: Canva

    Have you ever wondered what the real difference is between a master’s degree and a PhD is, but felt like it would be dumb to ask? You’re not alone, and it’s not a dumb question at all. Despite what many might think, a PhD (or doctoral degree) is not a more advanced master’s degree.

    In fact, as college professor Dr. Ari explains, a PhD and a master’s degree have fundamentally different purposes.

    “Getting a master’s and a PhD are very different from each other,” she says in a TikTok video. “When someone says, ‘Maybe I should just keep going and get my PhD,’ I kind of immediately know that they don’t really understand the difference.”

    @arisofficehours

    A PhD is not just “more classes.” It’s training to become a knowledge producer, not just a knowledge consumer. #highered #highereducation #edutok #tiktoklearningcampaign #learnontiktok

    ♬ original sound – Dr. Ari’s Office Hours

    Master’s = learning. PhD = producing.

    “A master’s program is about learning knowledge. A PhD program is about producing knowledge,” Dr. Ari goes on. “In a master’s, you take classes, you complete assessments and assignments, you prove you understand existing research, maybe you write a thesis or do a comprehensive exam. In a PhD, your classes are the easy part. Your real job is to identify a ‘gap’ in the literature. You design a study, you defend it to a bunch of experts, and you contribute something new to your field (theoretically).”

    Perhaps the clearest way to explain the difference is through what Dr. Ari says about what each degree asks of the person earning it:

    “A master’s program asks, ‘Do you understand what we already know?’ And a PhD asks, ‘Can you expand what humanity already knows about this thing?’”

    A PhD program tends to be all-consuming

    Dr. Ari also explains the lifestyle difference between the degrees. Master’s degree candidates are generally balancing work and family life along with their program requirements. It’s certainly not easy, but expectations are even higher for PhD candidates.

    “PhD program, especially funded ones, really expect you to be all in, all the time,” says Dr. Ari. “Research, conferences, publishing, teaching. It’s a little different for each discipline, but for the most part, it’s the same.”

    Most people understand that getting a PhD is harder than getting a master’s degree, but it’s not just simply about there being more or harder classes. It’s really a fundamental difference in what you are doing: consuming knowledge vs. producing it.

    Can you get a PhD without a master’s degree?

    Many of us think of the degrees in the U.S. college system as a hierarchy—associate’s, bachelor’s, master’s, PhD, in that order. But thinking of them purely as rungs to climb on a ladder is a bit of a misnomer, as it ignores the differences in the degrees’ purposes.

    In many cases, you can get a PhD without ever getting a formal master’s degree, just as many people get a bachelor’s without getting a separate associate’s degree first. (And, of course, there are niche advanced degrees, like a J.D. to become a lawyer or an M.D. to become a medical doctor, which have different requirements and purposes than other doctoral degrees.)

    A PhD or doctoral degree gown for graduation
    A PhD gown usually has three stripes on the sleeve. Photo credit: Canva

    Some people pointed out that there are master’s programs that are more research-based, thus more alike in nature to a PhD. However, others who have been through a research master’s and a PhD program said they were still different.

    One thing everyone agreed on is that getting a PhD is no joke

    Here’s how people in the comments described it:

    “Fetal position crying is part of the journey of earning a PhD 😫. My master’s was a breeze compared to it.”

    “My PhD gave me PTSD.”

    “I’m almost done with my PhD and I regret it :)”

    “Just know that getting a PhD is literally academic hazing.”

    “A PhD is quite literally the highest attainable degree; it’s not something you just do. You will work. And you will nearly die. 😂”

    “I’m currently getting my Nursing PhD. No, I do not want to talk about it.”

    “Oh so this is why some professors are so strict about being called Doctors. Honestly yeah, I get it now.”

    “That’s why when I see my PhD candidate friends crashing out, I leave them be. They deserve that moment.”

    “PhD Student here. This is accurate. Funded student. I had to adjust my entire life for research. It’s worth it nonetheless…”

    Here’s to the humans who help add to our ever-expanding knowledge as a species, even when it consumes their entire life to do so.

    You can follow Dr. Ari on TikTok for more on college degrees.

  • It’s not brains or talent. Expert says high achievers have two traits anyone can learn.
    Angela Duckworth speaking at a TED event.Photo credit: via TED / YouTube

    Why is it that some people are high achievers who have a track record of success and some people never come close to accomplishing their dreams? Is it talent, luck, or how you were raised? Is it that some people are just gifted and have exceptional talents that others don’t?

    The good news is, according to psychologist Angela Duckworth, the most critical factor in being a high achiever has nothing to do with talent or intelligence. It’s how long you can keep getting back up after getting hit. She calls it “grit” and, according to Duckworth’s research, it’s the common denominator in high achievers across the board, whether it’s cadets at West Point or kids in a spelling bee. Duckworth goes into depth on the topic in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.

    What personal traits make someone successful?

    “The common denominator of high achievers, no matter what they’re achieving, is this special combination of passion and perseverance for really long-term goals,” Duckworth revealed on The Mel Robbins Podcast. “And in a word, it’s grit.”

    “Partly, it’s hard work, right? Partly it’s practicing what you can’t yet do, and partly it’s resilience,” she continued. “So part of perseverance is, on the really bad days, do you get up again? So, if you marry passion for long-term goals with perseverance for long-term goals well then you have this quality that I find to be the common denominator of elite achievers in every field that I’ve studied.”

    When pressed to define the specific meaning of grit, Duckworth responded: “It’s these two parts, right? Passion for long-term goals, like loving something and staying in love with it. Not kind of wandering off and doing something else, and then something else again, and then something else again, but having a kind of North Star.”

     

    For anyone who wants to achieve great things in life, grit is an attitude that one can develop for themselves that isn’t based on natural abilities or how well one was educated. Those things matter, of course, but having a gritty attitude is something someone can learn.

    “I am not saying that there aren’t genes at play because every psychologist will tell you that’s also part of the story for everything and grit included,” Duckworth said. “But absolutely, how gritty we are is a function of what we know, who were around, and the places we go.”

    Why grit is so important

    Grit is critical for people to become highly successful because it means that you stick with the task even when confronted with barriers. In every journey of taking an idea that you love and turning it into reality there is going to be what’s known as the dark swamp of despair—a place that you must wade through to get to the other side. It takes grit and determination to make it through the times when you fear that you might fail. If it were easy, then everyone could be high achievers.

    Grit is what keeps people practicing in their room every night as teenagers and makes them an accomplished guitar player. Grit is what makes a basketball player the first one in the gym and the last to leave so that they make the starting lineup. Grit is knocking on the next door after 12 people have just slammed their doors in your face.

    The wonderful thing about Duckworth’s work is that it presents an opportunity for everyone willing to do the work. You can no longer use the fact that you may not have specialized intelligence or a God-given talent as an excuse. All you need is perseverance and passion and you have as good a shot as anyone at achieving your dreams.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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