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A safe, stable home can change lives for the better. Here’s how Habitat for Humanity wants to make that possible for everyone.
Better health, better jobs, and a brighter future all start with access to a safe, affordable home.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project. Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia. Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.
Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:- Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
- Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
- Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
- Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
- Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
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Woman who moved from Ireland to Boston shares why the American dream is ‘all a lie.’
“I have been bamboozled.”
Living abroad is a dream many people have, whether it’s spending a summer in a foreign country or packing up their entire life to make the permanent move. In fact, according to a 2025 Harris Poll, more than half of Americans believe they could have a higher quality of life abroad, and many say they’d move if they had the means. Some estimates show that an estimated 5.5 million Americans live abroad, according to the Association of Americans Resident Overseas.
But life is funny, and sometimes these expats come back to the United States for a variety of reasons like family or career, which gives them an extremely interesting perspective when they begin their re-entry.
Take American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue, for example. She’s going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.
Moving to the U.S. was a step backwards
Kayleigh moved back to the Boston area from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned.
Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.
“I have been bamboozled,” she begins in the now viral clip with over 600 thousand views.
Many people like Kayleigh move abroad, especially to European countries, for a slower way of life, better work-life balance, more opportunity for travel, or just to see something different. But America is the land of opportunity, right? For some, that promise always beckons, no matter where they go. So even though Kayleigh had an amazing life in Ireland, she wound up moving home to advance her career and make more money.
The real cost of the American Dream
“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country – screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”
In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?
“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.
The comments support Kayleigh
Viewers applauded Kayleigh for coming to the realization:
“Yep, I made the same mistake. Then I realized that people and quality of life are more important than income. Enjoy life!” one wrote.
“Get that. We moved back to US and it was horrible. We moved back to the UK. Happier now was 6 weeks off a year” said another.
“I think there are actually very few people who derive their enjoyment and self-worth from their job. Quality of life is so much more important,” another user added.
Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.
A Mercer survey in 2024 put Amsterdam as the sixth best city in the world for quality of life. It’s a place with rich culture, amazing public transportation, and a reasonable cost of living to earning potential ratio.
Young Americans really aren’t asking for that much. They just want to be able to afford and enjoy their life, and they’re willing to work hard for it. America should be giving them those opportunities instead of losing more and more talented young people to other countries.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
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Mom breaks down in tears after another parent called her about her daughter’s lunch
Small gestures can mean so much.
People say having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. You send them off to school, practices, or playdates and hope that the world treats them kindly because when they hurt, you hurt. Inevitably, there will be times when your child’s feelings are hurt, so you do your best to prepare for that day.
But what prepares you for when the child you love so much winds up accidentally healing your inner child. A mom on TikTok who goes by Soogia posted a video explaining a phone call she received from a parent in her daughter’s classroom. The mom called to inform Soogia that their kids had been sharing lunch with each other. Soogia wasn’t prepared for what came next.
An unexpected phone call
The classmate’s mother informed her that her son loves the food Soogia’s daughter brings to school and wanted to learn how to cook it, too. “I was like, ‘thank you for my food’? Like, what is she talking about? Did she find my TikTok? ‘F**k, I’m mortified.’ But that wasn’t the case,” Soogia recalled, hardly being able to get the story out through her tears.
That may seem like a small thing to some, but the small gesture healed a little bit of Soogia’s inner child. Growing up as a Korean kid in California, Soogia’s experience was a bit different than what her children are now experiencing.
Children eating lunch together. Photo via Canva/Photos “I guess I just never thought that my kids would be the generation of kids that could go to school and not only just proudly eat, but share their food with other kids that were just so open and accepting to it,” Soogia says through tears. “Knowing that they don’t sit there eating their food, feeling ashamed and wishing that their fried rice was a bagel instead, or something like that. And I know, it sounds so small and it sounds so stupid, but knowing their experience at school is so different from mine in such a positive way is just so hopeful.”
At the end of the video, she vowed to send extra food in her daughter’s lunch every day so she could share her culture with the other kids.
The comments were heartfelt
Soogia’s tearful video pulled on the heartstrings of her viewers who shared their thoughts in the comments.
“Soogia! It will never be small. Your culture is beautiful & the littles are seeing that every day. You’ve even taught me so much. I’m grateful for you,” one person says.
“Beautiful! I can see your inner child healing in so many ways,” another writes.
“Welp. Now I’m sobbing at the airport. This is beautiful,” someone reveals.
“These Gen Alpha babies really are a different, kinder generation. I love them so much,” one commenter gushes.
Ultimately, the story is a wonderful reminder that everyone has a backstory and that a simple gesture like appreciating someone’s culture or history can mean far more to them than you’ll ever know.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
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Teacher explains how ’90s kids never had water bottles in school and ‘somehow’ survived
“Save some water for the fish!”
Americans’ attitudes about water have changed over the past 30 years. In the past, a common phrase on the athletic field was, “Don’t drink too much water, you’ll get a cramp,” which was partially true because of the risk for overhydration. Beyond that, the only people with water bottles were hippies. Now, people everywhere walk around with large water bottles, sometimes up to 64oz, attached to themselves like purses. It’s like people leave the house with the sincere belief that they will not be able to find potable water for the next three weeks.
The hydration craze has also meant that water bottles have become trendy status symbols and markers of personal identity. Are you more of a Yeti person or a Stanley? The trend has also been passed down to our children, who are encouraged to bring water bottles to school daily. In 2024, Miss Smith from the popular Bored Teachers TikTok page had fun with the trend in a video that received over 1.5 million views.
“Does anyone over 30 remember being allowed to have a water bottle in their elementary classroom?” she asks in the video.
The three-second rule
Miss Smith recalls the only water she had during school back in the day was at lunch or during snack time and even then, the time she was allowed at the water fountain was limited.
“You were like gulping for life at that water fountain while kids behind you were like obnoxiously counting down or being like, ‘She’s getting more than 3 seconds!’” Then, the teacher would tap you on the shoulder, and you were done.
“Can you imagine if we did that to today’s kids? The emails! The calls I would get,” she continued.
The funny thing is that even though kids didn’t drink much water back in the day—and if they did, it was out of a fountain—somehow they survived. Now, we’re raising an entire generation that feels compelled to lug a heavy and costly bottle with them wherever they go, fearing they will suffer from dehydration.
Plenty of people remember those days well
The post resonated with many folks over 30 who lived through the dry days of pre-millennium America.
“I hear all the time that behavior issues have risen since we were kids; my theory is we were too dehydrated to misbehave,” one commenter joked. “We didn’t have water bottles because they also didn’t want us to ever go to the bathroom,” another added. “I don’t remember drinking water as a kid. Unless it was from a hose, it was Kool-Aid or milk. How am I still alive?” another said.
Your water bottle is SO ‘2023’
The hydration craze was a news topic in early 2024 after the new, limited edition Stanley + Starbucks water bottle was released at Target stores. The frenzy over the $49.95 bottle had people camping outside Target and jumping counters to get their hands on newly designed bottles popular with younger women.
The bottles promise to keep hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold for an extended period of time. So, when you drop your daughter off at first period, her water is still cold by the time the 3:05 bell rings. Having cold water throughout the day certainly is a luxury, but does it explain the hype? Some think the hydration craze has gotten out of control, but if history has anything to say about it, trends come and go and extra hydration in fancy cups might be on the way out.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
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Millennial has brilliant clapback for Gen Zers who try to say they haven’t aged well
He also brought the receipts.
Millennials and Gen Z truly have a sibling kind of relationship. They take turns teasing each other but in the end it’s nothing but love between the two generations. One such viral taunting involved people saying that Gen Zers have aged like milk. Several Gen Zers themselves even agreed that people often mistake them for much older than they are. But that’s neither here nor there.
Gen Z eventually fired back with their own commentary about how poorly millennials age. But millennials came with receipts to prove that this was beyond untrue. Millennial Chris Bautista uploaded a pretty savage video response to these young whippersnappers explaining why they feel that way.
According to Bautista, the answer is quite simple. Millennials set the bar for what aging looks like for people approaching middle age.
Why millennials think they’re aging better
“I’m gonna say this a little bit louder for the Gen Zers in the back that didn’t hear me the last time. Millennials look fantastic for our age and you cannot tell us otherwise,” Bautista starts. “The reason why you think we don’t look great for our ages is because we have set the new standard of what it looks like to age.”
Then he pulls out the evidence. Pictures of celebrities who were the age millennials are right now when the pictures were taken. Yikes! Most millennials look nowhere near the age of the people in the pictures.
Watch the video:
Fellow millennials were quick to chime in with their guesses as to why they are the poster children for anti-aging.
“It’s cause all millennials used the St. Ives peach scrub exfoliating wash and we achieved eternal youth,” someone surmised.
“It’s gotta be the Flintstone vitamins,” another quipped.
“I don’t know, I am 40 and got stopped at my son’s high school security guard because he thought I was a student. No one ever believes my age,” wrote a third.
A fourth shared, “But seriously like what’s the reason? Cause this life has been stressful.”
Experts actually have some answers
There are several theories as to why the anti-aging phenomenon has occurred. None of them actually involve Flintstones vitamins or St. Ives scrubs, but they do have that signature self deprecating millennial humor. They range from being the first group heavily indoctrinated to cosmetic “tweakments,” to being depressed and therefore indoors all day, to simply having youthful energy due to never being able to truly grow up.
A woman getting botox Photo credit: Canva However, according to experts, it really comes down to millennials being among the first group to take the basics seriously. By basics, we mean, sunscreen (and somehow bypassing the anti-sunscreen conspiracy theory craze via TikTok) as well as hydration (hellooooo Stanley water bottles). Plus, millennials aren’t as known to have a proclivity towards vaping, like their Gen Z counterparts. Sometimes it really comes down to the simple things.
Regardless of aging it seems that the sibling banter between these two generations will remain alive and well forever and ever.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
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20-year-old woman agreed to a closed adoption for her baby, then got a wonderful surprise
Opening up a closed adoption is a risky decision. For this family, it paid off.
At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.
When Schauna Austin was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption.
She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family. So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.
“It was perfect,” Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. “I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn’t sleep for three days.” It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.
The beginning of an unlikely journey
Riley was placed with Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger through a closed adoption, and they decided to rename him Steven.
In a closed adoption, the birth mother, Austin, would not receive any information about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents. Usually, the birth parents have a good deal of input over whether they prefer to have regular contact or not with the adoptive family.
However, about a week later, the Schoebingers made a major decision.
The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. They wanted to officially open the closed adoption.
You can imagine that it’s a big and potentially risky decision for adoptive parents to bring in a birth parent. It could complicate things, stir up difficult feelings, or even bring conflict into their lives. But the Schoebingers weren’t worried about any of that.
“It was like, ‘OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,’” Jennifer told CBS News.
“You know, you can’t have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn’t he be both of ours?” Chris added.
A life documented in books and photos
Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven’s journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.
The Schoebingers sent Steven’s mother photos every year until the two were ready to meet. Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and his biological mother taught him to fish. The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. “I was blessed beyond words,” Austin said. “I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure,” Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents. It’s considered the standard these days unless there are specific reasons why it’s in the best interest of the child to have the adoption be closed.
Steven is now 28 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named…wait for it…Riley. Austin, herself, is now a grandmother.
The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support.
The emotional response to their story
People on social media were incredibly moved by the story. Dozens of commenters chimed in on YouTube to express their gratitude for the families involved:
“Steven’s adoptive parents are WONDERFUL! They weren’t selfish, and did what was best for STEVEN, His dad said it best—–the more love a child has, the better. His bio mom lucked out with this special couple as well, especially when they sent her the books each year! This story was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!” one user wrote.
“Speaks volumes of his adoptive parents and also the love of his natural mother to make the hardest decision on earth,” another said.
“Thank you for including the birth mom in the raising of your son. I’m adopted and it was a closed one. the struggle of not knowing your birth parents is real. I just spent my first Christmas in 56 years with my Ukrainian birth family. Full circle family is love. Oh what a ride!” someone added.
Ultimately, Chris Schoebinger, the adoptive dad, said it best:
“I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don’t need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side,” Chris said.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
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Responses to silly ‘depluralize a movie’ prompt showcase how delightfully clever people can be
These went so much harder than expected.
For all of the downsides of social media, one of its biggest upsides is how it highlights how incredibly funny some people are. Short form posts are a perfect place for quippy wit and humor to shine, and when you toss in a prompt with a grammatical twist, the result is a showcase of human cleverness.
A perfect example is the “Depluralize a movie” prompt, which has made its way around various social media sites and brings out the most concisely skilled word nerds among us.
“JAW.” Cute, simple, straightforward. You can take any movie with a plural “s” and just remove it for a tiny chuckle. “The Avenger.” “Star War.” “Heather.” But the best responses make you think for a minute before the light bulb goes on and the belly laugh hits:
“Lion and Prejudice.”
“Tree Gump.”
“Snow White and no one else.”
“A Crow on the Orient Express.”
“Gone with the Air Molecule.”
“The Breakfast Individual.”
“Fish of rock.”
“Indiana Jone.”
“Child of the kernel.”
“Clause of Endearment.”
“Cheaper By Myself.”
“Chitty Bang”
“Monster, Sole Proprietor.”
“BRICK-E.”
“Inchloose.”
“A Single Ado About Nothing”
“One Good Man.”
“Something, Somewhere, Once”
“Saturday at Bernie’s”
“One Dollar Baby.”
“Mario Only Child”
“The Postman Rang Once The One Time He Stopped By.”
“I for Vendetta”
“Malcom I”
“Jumanjus.”
That last one is a perfect example of why people are loving the responses to this prompt. “Jumanji” isn’t even plural, but applying the rule that gives us cactus/cacti and octopus/octopi, we get “Jumanjus.” Cleverly hilarious.
Some adjustments are just so silly, you can’t help but laugh, like “Indiana Jone.” Many of them use animal groups (pride of lions, murder of crows, school of fish) that you have to decipher or stretch your logic to break down things we don’t think of as plural (wall to brick, wind to air molecule, corporation to sole proprietor). And “I for Vendetta” and “Malcolm I”? Perfect. (As one person said, we don’t have enough Roman numeral humor in the world.)
People loved seeing how creative others were in their responses:
“This thread is for the ‘pleasure to have in class’ kids only and I love it. 😂”
“Gods everyone is so much smarter than me. I’m just over here trying to think of titles ending in S.”
“I’ve never been more ok with everyone been smarter than me. 😂”
“I cannot read this thread while my partner is trying to sleep beside me. I am SHAKING the bed, laughing.”
Why do we find wordplay so funny? Photo credit: Canva Why do people find these depluralized titles so funny, though? Likely the same reason we delight in puns and spoonerisms. Wordplay tickles our brains and our funny bones.
As neuroscientist Dean Burnett shared with BBC Science Focus, “Humor is essentially our brain going ‘This isn’t how things usually work… but I’m okay with it!’”
Burnett explains that humor happens in our brains when there’s incongruity between what we expect to happen and what actually happens and we resolve that incongruity.
“Basically, thanks to these complex systems in our brains, humour can be derived from things being surprising, unexpected or wrong in some form, as long at it’s resolved, without negative consequences,” he writes.
That’s essentially what’s happening when we see a familiar movie title altered in a way that we don’t expect but that ultimately makes sense. Whatever the humor trigger, it’s so fun to have so many people enjoy some wordplay together.
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Why parents should be celebrating the Gen Z ‘boy kibble’ craze
We can work with this.
Parents might have noticed their teens feasting on a plain bowl of meat and rice. The ‘boy kibble’ craze started as a simple joke to get likes on social media. Kids are now consuming the same meal every day, no complaints.
Parents can spend years of time and energy attempting to fix how their kids eat. But this viral trend offers an opportunity to embrace a different strategy: work with what they already want to do and make it healthier.
The good and bad story of ‘boy kibble’
The trending three-meals-a-day, seven-days-a-week meal plan is one simple dish on repeat. A bowl consisting of meat, usually beef, for the high iron and protein, and rice. That’s it.
Teens like it so much because it’s straightforward, easy to prepare, and removes some of the obstacles to healthy eating. It can take a lot of time to learn how to make a tasty, healthy meal.
Healthline reported that the trend is inexpensive and offers young men interested in muscle building a basic high-protein meal. Nutrition experts agree that the dish provides important nutrients. However, without modification, it has nutritional gaps. Even eating very healthy foods without variety leads to deficiencies.
Dr. Sanjai Thankachen, medical director at New Leaf Detox, explained how some eating habits can be concerning. “If eating patterns become very restrictive or tied to body image concerns, it may signal disordered eating, which is an unhealthy relationship with food and weight.”
However, Thankachen does recognize the value and draw for teens, “Trends like ‘boy kibble’ often appeal to teenagers because they simplify decision-making. Fewer choices can reduce stress and make it easier to meet basic nutrition goals, especially protein intake. That part can be useful.”
Parents can use the trend to their own advantage
The simple truth is that ‘boy kibble’ is much healthier than typical teen diets. Avoiding highly processed foods, sodas, fast food, and sugary snacks and replacing them with more protein and consistency is a positive step in the right direction.
The Society of Behavioral Medicine suggests consistency beats chaos trends like skipping meals or binging junk food. Regular eating patterns offer better energy, nutrition, and brain function, especially in teens.
There is a real, hidden parenting upside to this new eating plan, too. A psychiatrist, Sam Zand, told Upworthy the trend was a strong starting point for modeling healthier eating habits. “One approach is by taking advantage of the ‘trend’ and have your teen continue to use easy and independent meal options, while incorporating more variety and nutritional quality.”
Zand continues, “This will also provide parents the opportunity to model how to have a flexible, unrestricted approach to eating, which can buffer their children from developing a negative self-image and/or problems with physical and/or emotional health at a later age.”
Teens adopt simple systems
A 2025 study in the National Library of Medicine found adolescence was the critical window during which diet shapes lifelong health outcomes. Parents have a little over a decade to encourage imperfect, but better habits. Basic protein and carbs, not fast food, can have a lasting, long-term impact.
Parents understand that guiding teens in the right direction takes a strategic and patient skill set. A 2024 study in Frontiers found that overcontrolling parents led to worse eating habits. Parents who provide structure and support while allowing some autonomy bring healthier eating habits.
A simple step up to your kids’ kibble plan
Teens don’t fail at nutrition because they’re apathetic or don’t care. They struggle because food choices can be overwhelming, and healthy options aren’t the easiest to make. It’s exactly why ‘boy kibble’ is so appealing.
These are some simple suggestions to encourage a step up to the kibble plan:
- Stock the freezer with frozen veggies
- Buy more healthy sauces instead of sugar-based ones that high in preservatives
- Have pre-cut veggies available
- Keep a variety of pre-cooked proteins
- Store up on microwaveable grain options like Quinoa blends, Couscous, and Farro
- Let them keep the ‘boy kibble’ and avoid shaming the repetition
Sometimes these healthy habits don’t start with perfect choices. Workable choices, however, can be easy for parents to get behind. How can you make what they’re already willing to eat a little better?
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Mom wonders if she should ‘manufacture hardship’ for her kids to build resilience. Other parents sound off.
Do kids today have it too easy?
It’s a challenge every parent faces: striking that precarious balance between providing for their kids while still fostering independence. In today’s world, previous generations‘ struggles are a thing of the past, making that balance even harder to strike.
One parent recently found themselves at a loss with this predicament. They took to Reddit to see if they should “manufacture hardship” for their kids.
In their post, they explained how they and their husband grew up “poor,” but managed to create a “very comfortable upper-middle-class life.”
Because they freelance, they’re able to be a completely “engaged” parent as well—always there for “school pick-ups and getting driven around to extracurriculars.”
A mom driving her two children. Photo credit: Canva And while the OP’s kids don’t act spoiled with material things, they noticeably lack a “capacity for dealing with even slight inconveniences.” From getting picked up five minutes later than their normal time, to minor switches to dinner plans, to non-VIP experiences at theme parks, this parent noted “attitudes” and “unregulated frustrations.”
“If they ever face a college essay question about overcoming adversity, I don’t think they would even be able to answer it,” they wrote.
Why kids today aren’t as resilient
In an article for Psychology Today, Nancy Colier LCSW, Rev. noted the rise of “helicopter parenting” and living life via a curated social media algorithm makes unregulated kids a common dilemma. Both, she argues, are symptoms of a modern culture that “conditions us to believe that life should be how we want it to be, that we shouldn’t have to struggle, and that our children shouldn’t have to, either.”
A child with his head in his hand. Photo credit: Canva She goes on to say that “we don’t do our kids any favors” when we erase any trace of character building discomfort, and instead, “we create people who are dissatisfied and unhappy, and ultimately, are unable to deal with real life.”
However, Dr. Kate Renshaw, Director at Play and Filial Therapy, argues that “the real issue isn’t that children’s lives are too easy, it’s that they’re too tightly managed.” Furthermore, she tells Upworthy that “manufacturing hardship” can cause more harm than good.
“Hardship without a consistent trusting relationship is confusing and stressful,” she says. “The neuroscience is clear: a child’s nervous system needs a co-regulatory anchor—a safe adult—to process difficulty in a way that builds resilience rather than artificially add to states of dysregulation.”
This is why she suggests encouraging “unstructured, child-led play” where frustration tolerance can “naturally develop.” This can look like a stuck Play-Doh lid, navigating friendship decisions about gameplay, or outdoor play where the natural elements cannot be controlled by adults.
Hands holding a Play-Doh house. Photo credit: Canva Suffice it to say, if even experts can’t agree on which approach is best, there isn’t exactly a one-size-fits-all solution. Even in the Reddit comments, some agreed that the parent should introduce some friction, while others said the attitude might go away on its own. So at the very least, maybe parents in this situation can give themselves a little grace.
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