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Robin Williams saw a struggling comedian bomb on stage. He knew exactly what to say to her.

One sentence turned the worst night of her life into one of the best.

Robin Williams, heart, comedian, kindness, stand up, comedy, funny, humor, celebrities
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Robin Williams performs on stage.

The late, great Robin Williams once beautifully said, "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anybody else to feel like that."

One night at a comedy club in Los Angeles, a new, nervous stand-up comic was called to the stage by the emcee. In one hand, she casually had a beer that she propped up on the piano. In the other, was her notebook full of scribbled, half-written joke premises and a few wine stains. She did her opening joke and the response was so quiet, she could hear the ice machine crackling in the kitchen. Joke two—a slight spattering of nervous laughter. Joke three got a heartier laugh, but then it went back to deafening quiet by joke four.

She mercifully got through her final joke, and said, "That's my time" long before the red light in the back of the club even went on. She scurried off stage with her beer not unlike that rat in New York scurrying across a sidewalk carrying a piece of pizza. Panicked, embarrassed, and, frankly, a little hungry.

It was just one of those nights. The last time she'd done this act—with nearly the exact same jokes—she'd received an applause break. This time, she was left questioning every one of her life decisions. Why had she come to Los Angeles? How was the next month's rent supposed to get paid? Why had she cut her hair in the "Rachel" haircut?

As she was about to enter the hallway that led into the bar area, she could feel actual tears forming behind her eyes, like little faucets that were slowly turning on. "Don't cry at the comedy club," she told herself. Rather, "Don't cry at the comedy club AGAIN." But as the tears came anyway, she looked up and lo and behold, there was Robin Williams. She stuttered, "You. Are. One of my favorites. Ever." He looked at her, his blue eyes warmly crinkling and said, "You were amazing."

Robin Williams, heart, comedian, kindness, stand up, comedy, funny, humor, celebrities Robin Williams was as kind as he was funny. Giphy

It hadn't been true. But the fact that he would go out of his way to make this total stranger's awful night into one of her best at that time, was just the kind of person Robin was.

I know this because that woman was me.

I wanted to tell him about the Mork and Mindy poster on my wall as a kid, and how I had cut out Mindy's face and put in my third-grade class photo. I wanted to tell him how much I loved his care for animals and for the unhoused and for the less fortunate. Or that because of him, I had a weird fetish for suspenders. (The last one wasn't quite true, but I still wanted to say it.)

But instead I merely laughed and said, "Oh, thank you. But I can do better." He gave me a gentle look like, "We're all in this together," and even though I knew I'd never have a career like his, it dawned on me that it didn't matter. That being kind to others actually DID matter and that he was a lighthouse in a really stormy, pitch-black ocean.

I stuck it out and just a few years later, got to perform in the super cool and coveted "New Faces" show at the Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Fest. Didn't kill there either, but I was able to step back and look down from an aerial view. How we uplift others, whether through laughter or kindness, is really the only control we have in this world.

Years later, after Robin passed away, I had heart surgery and was feeling down. I had read that cardiac issues could leave a person biochemically depressed and the first person I thought of was him. I messaged our mutual friend from San Francisco and asked if he remembered Robin speaking to him about heart surgery and depression. He only affirmed that yes, it was a very real side effect and that I should take it seriously.

I have always thought of the neurotransmitter Serotonin like it was a flowery perfume. Notes of honey, lavender, rose. When someone has a good amount of it floating through their synapses, it leaves trace of itself wherever it goes, as if the tunnels it burrows under pumps it out through a steam grate. But from what I've heard, Robin struggled with that too. And yet he still found a way to leave a lovely and inviting scent behind him, because he wanted to make sure OTHERS were okay.

heart, robin williams, kindness, comedians, comedy A heart shaped neon sign in the dark Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

I guess, even in his death, I was looking to Robin for answers. But one puzzle remains solved: making others happy is the kindest thing we can do, even when our own valves—whether heart or perfume pumps—fail to work.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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Mental Health

There's a new personality type called the 'otrovert' and one major trait sets it apart

"I feel seen for the first time in my life!"

Photo Credit: Canva

A person stands out in a crowd.

So many of us have the desire to compartmentalize our personality traits into neat little boxes. "Oh, she's such an INFJ. Oh, he's such a Gemini." Some of it is rooted (well sort of) in psychology, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, based loosely on Jungian ideas. Others rely on arguably less scientific data like stars and "rising signs." Humans aren't usually that simple.

That said, there's still value in understanding one's own personality and inclinations. Here's a confession: I've taken countless personality tests because I just couldn't figure out if I was an extrovert or an introvert. Neither description quite fit, and as someone constantly trying to understand what makes me tick, this has been frustrating.

Turns out, there are other options. The term "ambivert" got popularized in the 1930s (after being coined by Edmund S. Conklin in 1923), and it refers to a person "who has features of both an introvert (someone who prefers to spend time alone) and an extrovert (someone who prefers to be with other people) in their personality."

@tedtoks

Replying to @Factura🛄 now knowing what an ambivert is, how would you describe yourself? #ambivert #introvert #extrovert #adamgrant #psychology #TEDTalk #worklife

But for those who still don't quite relate, meet the otrovert. Just recently, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski published The Gift of Not Belonging, in which he discusses his coined term to describe a whole new type of personality. In an Insta-reel captioned "What is an Otrovert?" Kaminski mentions the polarization of introverts and extroverts. "When Jung invented the terms extrovert and introvert, he saw them as two fundamental orientations of the personality. I see the otrovert in the same way. A personality trait that faces away from the group."

He continues, "Extroverts and introverts are inherently communal, while the otrovert is an outsider to the group. In itself, it is not a problem or condition, nor is it a diagnostic label. It simply means that while most people learn to develop a sense of belonging to a specific group through social conditioning, otroverts remain social but not communal."

In writer Sarjna Rai's piece, "Struggle to Fit the Mold? The 'Otrovert' Personality Explains Why" for Business Standard, they write: "Unlike introverts or extroverts, otroverts are not defined by where they draw their social energy. Instead, the concept captures people who constantly feel like outsiders, and tend to look in a different direction altogether, not necessarily aligned with the rest of the group."

While it's impossible to group people into perfect categories, Rai explains that Kaminski claims the main thing that sets otroverts apart is their "reluctance to conform to group norms."

Writer Avery White lists signs one might be an otrovert in the article "7 Signs You Might Be an Otrovert" for VegOut. Among them is preferring "high-signal conversations and low-maintenance relationships." They give this as an example: "You’ll happily spend three hours exploring one idea with one person—and then not speak for weeks without either of you taking it personally. In other words, low pressure, low expectations, high connection.

Another on the list—and this is a big one according to Kaminski—is: "You can look extroverted in public—yet feel fundamentally 'other.'" This is actually the crux of the term, and in fact, what Kaminski formed The Otherness Institute for: as their website says, "those who feel they don't belong."

The site also shares that recognizing aspects of this type in yourself and others (if it applies) will help "balance between your individuality and your function as part of the social matrix that determines your well-being. The experience of otherness in a togetherness-minded world can be emotionally bruising. Often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, otherness may lead individuals to feel strange, lonely, and unwelcome in groups. Left unidentified, otroverts' non-belonging can result in a frustrating, futile lifetime effort of trying to 'fit in.'"

Some Redditors are scrambling to figure out if they fit into this category. In the subreddit r/INTP (referencing one of the Myers-Briggs personality types), the OP asks, "Maybe I am an 'otrovert?'" Under this, they write, "Dr. Kaminski described the otrovert child as 'neurotypical, friendly, curious, well-adjusted, and often popular' yet 'they resist being pressured into group activities.'"

While this can seem inconsequential in childhood, joining the peer group "becomes critically important" in adolescence, said the psychiatrist, and teens "start to gauge their self-worth based on the group’s ranking of popularity (or unpopularity).'

"Membership in a group, no matter how lowly, is better than being an outsider," he added. "Otroverts, however, are comfortable with being outsiders and find it impossible to feel like insiders, regardless of how welcome they are.'

There are a handful of commenters who feel seen, but many push back, claiming the term could easily apply to other personality traits. One writes, "I think it's easy to resonate with this description... but as some warning noted, there aren't enough studies done about this term that people should be running to adopt it. I resonated with it after reading about it... But I have ADHD and persistent depressive disorder... both of which coincide with the descriptions of an otrovert."

Time will tell if this new term sticks, but for now, it's helping a lot of people feel more understood.


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‘Credit cards are not money’: 11 financial lessons from smart women who learned the hard way

Wisdom from savvy women who've been there—so you can skip the financial heartbreak.

Photo credit: Canva

Woman holding money.

Money conversations between women are essential. This is where women can drop their guard, admit their mistakes, and share the lessons they have learned at a high cost.

Recently, a powerful discussion erupted online when women on the subreddit r/AskWomen were asked a simple question: "What's the hardest money lesson you've learned so far?" The responses were raw, honest, and surprisingly universal—revealing financial truths that every woman should know before learning them the expensive way.

These aren't just money tips; they're survival strategies from women who've navigated financial hurricanes and emerged stronger.

Here are the 11 lessons that repeatedly emerged, each one carrying the weight of experience and the power to transform your financial future:

- YouTube www.youtube.com


1. Build your emergency fund like your life depends on it (because it does)

A recent survey conducted by U.S. News revealed a shocking truth: Two in five Americans (42%) do not have an emergency savings fund. Even more dismaying, nearly as many (40%) couldn't cover a $1,000 emergency expense with cash or savings, though 60% said they'd had an "unexpected expense pop up in the last year."

Unfortunately, a massive part of the problem is a gender wealth gap: nearly half of all women (49%) don't have an emergency fund, compared with just 36% of men who don't. They also have lower balances. Among women who do have emergency savings, the median balance is $6,500. It's $11,000 among men.

However, data revealed that emergency savings are the strongest predictor of financial well-being. Findings from Vanguard research indicate that having at least $2,000 in emergency savings is associated with a 21% higher level of economic well-being compared to not having any emergency savings.

money, emergency, funds, financial, literary Emergency funds are crucial. Photo credit: Canva

"Emergency funds aren't optional," warned one Reddit user. "Life will throw curveballs when you least expect them."

Another person chimed in, "Yup, my husband lost his high-paying job when I was eight months pregnant. I'm about to give birth and still have no job."

Then, a separate woman: "[I was] just driving and swerved to avoid [hitting] a rabbit. I hit the curb and needed new tires the same week I needed expensive dental work. Literally every dollar of debt I've been paying off this year just tacked right back on."

2. Never make someone else your financial safety net

Too many women learn this lesson through divorce, job loss, or relationship endings. Financial dependence isn't romantic—it's risky.

"Make your own money. Even if you meet someone wealthy who pays the bills, being able to say f*ck off is priceless ☺️" wrote one person on Reddit.

via GIPHY

Another echoed this sentiment, writing, "And have things in your name. Build your own credit. Lease your own vehicle. Financial abuse and manipulation in relationships is devastating."

Reflecting on their past, someone else replied: "It's so important to have credit in your own name. I stupidly got rid of all my credit cards when I was a stay-at-home mom, and it's taken me eight years of paying bills on time to achieve a good credit score finally. No credit is worse than bad credit. You never know what curveballs life will throw at you."

3. Bank approval doesn't mean you should say yes

"Just because you're approved for it doesn't mean you can afford it," warns one Reddit user. "Congrats! You're approved for a $500K mortgage! But can you afford $3,500 a month just for the mortgage? (On top of all the other house costs, like food, clothes, electricity, and water?)

Another person chimed in: "THIS! My Husband and I sat down and did the math on 'Here's what we make, here's what we owe, here's what we can afford for our monthly mortgage to be.' Then we went to a mortgage lender, and they ran their program, saying they'd give us a loan for twice what we knew we could afford. I'm so glad we did the math ourselves first and didn't take their word for it, or we'd have been headed to foreclosure for sure!"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Here's the cold reality: Banks make money from your debt. A pre-approved credit limit or loan offer isn't a financial blessing—it's a business opportunity. Banks see your income and think "customer potential," not "what's best for this person's financial future."

Try the 48-hour rule: wait two days before accepting any credit offer, and ask yourself if you actually need it.

4. Lending money often means losing money

Mixing money with relationships is like mixing oil and water—it doesn't make sense and often creates an entire mess.

That $500 loan to a friend often becomes a $500 lesson about boundaries. Before lending money to anyone, ask yourself if you can afford to lose it completely. If the answer is no, the answer to the loan request should also be no. A simple, "I'm sorry, I can't lend you money," is a complete sentence and a complete answer.

"Don't lend money unless you can afford to never get it back," writes one replier. "I lent someone over $5,000, and when I asked for it to be repaid, she blocked my number and ghosted me."

5. Credit card debt is quicksand

Credit cards aren't emergency funds—they're expensive traps. A recent Experian survey found that nearly 25% of Americans are struggling to manage their debts. Meanwhile, LendingTree reports that the average APR offered with new credit cards is 24.23%.

One Reddit user recommends using a 0% APR credit card to reduce your credit card debt. "0% APR is good," they write. "Create a calendar reminder to remember when it ends. Before that [date], pay off your credit card bill and use it like a debit card. If you can't pay it within two weeks, don't use it. Pay off your card twice a month."

credit, cards, financial, literacy, women Credit cards are a slippery slope into debt. Photo credit: Canva

This echoes Experian's advice for paying down debt and improving financial literacy. They endorse the 50/30/20 budget, which allocates 50% of your net income for essentials, such as groceries and rent; 30% for discretionary spending, such as entertainment; and 20% toward savings and paying off debt.

6. Trust, but verify—even in love

It's not fun to talk about, but financial infidelity affects relationships more than physical infidelity, according to financial therapists. Research also shows that women's financial independence is an essential aspect of gender equality within heterosexual couples because it liberates women from fear of obligation to men. It's been proven time and time again that financially dependent (versus independent) women are more likely to experience poverty, material deprivation, and marital instability.

People online put it more bluntly: "Unfortunately, don't trust your partner with your finances," one writes. "Don't take their word for it because they're a liar. They've been lying to your face for a year. The savings you thought you had are all gone."

Another person replied, "As the partner that manages the money in my marriage, I second this so loudly. I'm responsible for our finances and trustworthy. But you shouldn't trust anyone with your financial security. I make sure my husband is aware and involved. He doesn't care, but everyone [else] should. If he wanted to leave me tomorrow, he should have access to funds to do so and the knowledge of how much there is and isn't, how much debt we have, etc."

They continue:

"Knowledge is power, people. Any investment decisions or purchases exceeding $200 must be discussed and approved by both parties. Even if your money is completely separate, it's essential to know how your partner manages their own finances. Because you're on the hook for their mistakes in some way/shape/form at the end of the day."

7. Your own bank account is non-negotiable

"Keep a separate bank account with yourself as the only signer," urges a Redditor. "You are not required to tell anyone that you have it. Consider keeping a joint account for communal bills with your significant other, but keep all other expenses in your own separate account. This wedding advice was given to me 20 years ago by my aunt, who has been happily married for 40 years. She was right then—and still is.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Financial independence starts with financial access. Having your own account isn't planning for divorce—it's preparing for life. Even you need your own money in your own account. This isn't about hiding purchases or planning an exit strategy; it's about maintaining your financial identity and independence.

As David Back, co-founder of AE Wealth Management, notes: "You should have your own account, both of you. It's absolutely critical, especially for women, that you keep money in an account that's yours that you control."

"8. "No" is a complete sentence.

Women are socialized to be helpful and accommodating—often at the expense of their own financial security.

"It's OK to say no when someone asks you to loan them money," one person reminds. "I have the hardest time saying no to friends and family, and have an even harder time asking them to pay me back. Now I just say, 'I'm sorry, I don't have any money I can loan you.'"

Remember: You don't need to justify, explain, or apologize for protecting your money. Whether it's a loan request from family or pressure to cosign for someone, "No, I can't do that" is sufficient. Your financial boundaries aren't suggestions—they're requirements for your security.

9. Payday loans are financial poison

Here's a stat that will make your blood run cold: The annualized interest rate for a payday loan often exceeds 10 times that of a typical credit card. These loans cost $15-$30 per $100 borrowed, resulting in an annualized rate of 360%-780%, and they rarely help people build credit, often trapping borrowers in debt cycles.

"Don't take out a payday loan. Credit cards are not money. Don't mess with the IRS. And most importantly, protect your credit score. That number is everything," writes a woman on Reddit.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Payday loans aren't emergency solutions—they're emergency creators. If you need emergency cash, consider exploring credit union loans, nonprofit assistance programs, or asking family before resorting to payday loans.

10. Trust your bank's romance scam warnings

Have you ever received a financial request from a stranger on social media or a dating app? Maybe posing as an old classmate or a potential romantic match, these predators work their magic on you—being charismatic, gaining emotional trust—before things take a turn, and they suddenly ask for money, citing a medical emergency, travel expenses, a lost passport, or a frozen bank account.

Sadly, this is the classic setup for a romance scam—a dangerous and growing form of fraud that preys on emotions. Corebank reports that victims often "lose hundreds or even thousands of dollars, believing they are helping someone they deeply care about—only to later realize they were deceived."

A banker on Reddit warns others of romance scams, writing: "If your bank tells you it's a suspicious account and refuses to send your wire transfer, trust them! You are susceptible to romance scams."

woman, stressed, money, financial, literacy Don't stress yourself out over a romance scam. Photo credit: Canva

Another shares, "My best friend fell for one of these. We're all dumbfounded because she's smarter than that. She didn't listen to any of our warnings. I'm not sure if the bank tried to warn her, but if they did, she didn't listen. 😞"

Corebank also found that romance scams disproportionately affect individuals over 55 years old (52%), which isn't to say that younger demographics are immune to their charms, with 11% of victims falling between the ages of 18 and 44.

How bad is this problem? According to the North American Securities Administrators Association (NASAA), romance scams, also known as confidence scams, are a growing problem in the United States. In September 2021, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) issued a warning that its Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) had received more than 1,800 complaints related to online romance scams, resulting in losses of over $133.4 million.

Make sure to protect your heart—and your wallet!—while talking to people online!

11. Permission to spend money on yourself, granted

Sometimes, the best financial advice for women is: to spend your dang money.

"I grew up poor, like, 'electricity was off sometimes' poor," recounts one woman. "Now, with my fiancé—who loves to spoil me—it's so hard for me to let him spend money on me. He can buy me a soda, and I'm like, 'But it's $3…' I'm constantly asking him, 'Is this OK?' when I get something. [I've learned from him] that it's fine to say, 'Money comes, money goes.'

via GIPHY

Where does this guilt come from?

The UN reports that when women work, they invest 90% of their income back into their families, compared with 35% for men.

You don't need to earn every purchase through suffering or justify every treat. Spending money on yourself isn't selfish—it's necessary. Whether it's the massage that helps you recharge or the course that advances your career, investing in yourself is investing in everyone who depends on you. Build "personal spending" into your budget and spend it guilt-free.

The bottom line: Your financial story starts here

What's beautiful about this thread is that these lessons weren't learned in classrooms or from textbooks—they were earned through real experience, tough decisions, and sometimes painful mistakes. And what's even better? You don't have to learn them the hard way.

Every woman who shared her story did so hoping to spare another woman the same financial heartbreak. Their wisdom is your shortcut to financial confidence.

Pick one lesson that resonates most with you. Take one small action this week. Open that savings account. Have that money conversation. Set that boundary. Your future self—and every woman watching your example—will thank you.

Because when women control their money, they don't just change their own lives. They change everything.

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Humor

Gen X mom reenacts 'coming home from school in the 80s' and it couldn't be more perfect

"This is why we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

Canva Photos

If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.

Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.

But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.


One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.

Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)

Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.

Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.

In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:

"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."

"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."

"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"

"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor music video 80s GIF Giphy

"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."

Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.

Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.

As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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Ex-teacher shares the 4 things she couldn't tell parents until after she quit

"Please start putting deodorant on your kids before you notice that they need it."

via Canva/Photos

A woman looks very embarrassed.

Though many teachers are leaving the profession, not all of them are making national news. Maggie Perkins, 32, made headlines in 2022 when she quit the teaching profession to work at Costco, and showed no interest in looking back.

"The conditions were worsening rapidly, and I realized they weren't getting better, and nobody seemed alarmed enough to do anything. I was 29 when I decided to leave," she told People, noting she was making $47,000 at the time.

"The more I learned about Costco and the different roles at the company, the happier I was at the idea of working there, whether at the warehouse or corporate, for the rest of my career," she added. "I feel like there was a great potential reward for pursuing it."

Three years later, she trains fellow employees and has no regrets about leaving her former career.

Now that Perkins has been out of the classroom for a few years, she can say the things she couldn't when she was working as an educator. So, she created a TikTok video where she revealed four big things that she had to keep to herself—and all of them are centered around kids’ hygiene.

"I used to be a teacher, and I couldn't have said any of these things to your kid or to you while I was a teacher,” she opens her video.

@itsmaggieperkins

No, I was not planning to stack up like sardines ready to be slaughtered #backtoschool #teachersoftiktok #teacherlife

What do teachers want to tell their students and parents but can’t?

1. Cut your child’s nails

“If your kid's nails are long and dirty, other kids are noticing, and also it is gross. Kids literally get impetigo from their own fingernails,” she said.

2. Start using deodorant before they smell

“Please start putting deodorant on your kids before you notice that they need it,” she said. “Fifth grade, guys, fifth grade, deodorant.”

3. Your child needs to start wearing a bra sooner than you think

“It doesn’t have to be like a real bra. This is just like a soft, athleisure-type situation,” she said. “No one wants to be made fun of because it looks like they should be wearing a bra and they're not.”

4. Wash that sweatshirt and hoodie often

“Once those cuffs start to be like literally brown and ratty, wash the jacket. I am watching them wipe their snot on the jacket sleeve day after day after day,” she said. “They're walking around in a dirty snot rag.”

student, hoodie, computer, school, classroom, studying, teacher A student looks at his computer. Credit: Pexels/Kaboompics.com

Perkins’ advice is for the child’s health, but also to save them from embarrassment.

“There's no worse feeling than being a sixth grader who has this like acute sense of being different than others and criticized,” she said. “Your child is probably more aware of it than you are, and they're just not talking to you about it, because kids don't talk to their parents that much.”

The TikTok post, which garnered over 2.4 million views, resonated with Perkins’ followers, who shared how hygiene issues had caused them a lot of embarrassment when they were young.

"Parents, please also teach your kids to be compassionate because not all kids come from a loving home," one viewer wrote. "Be the love they don’t receive and don’t make fun of the kids who may smell or are not wearing a bra." Another added, "I would have loved for a teacher to tell this to my mom. I went to middle school without a bra, and I was so embarrassed to change in the locker rooms."

students, classroom, teacher, lesson Students in a classroom. Credit: Pexels/Arthur Krijgsman

Ultimately, Perkins’ tips are all about helping parents anticipate and address any potential hygiene or attire issues their child may encounter before they become a problem, whether that’s causing illness or embarrassment. The former teacher’s tips are a great reminder that a little extra care at home can make things a lot easier for kids on the playground and in the classroom.

This article originally appeared in May. It has been updated.

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Mariah Carey secretly made a grunge album in 1995. Now she's finally sharing it.

Her alt-rock alias was "Chick."

Wikipedia

Is there any genre she can't do?!

It’s not uncommon for famous singers to create tracks, even entire albums, under a fake name. Taylor Swift as Nils Sjöberg, Paul McCartney as Bernard Webb, Harry Styles as Mick Greenberg. Prince even racked up a collection of songwriter pseudonyms—including Joey Coco, Alexander Nevermind, and Jamie Starr. It’s often a chance to branch out creatively without any restrictions their current brand image might inflict.

For Mariah Carey, that alias was a “angry, angsty, and messy" grunge singer, aptly named “Chick.”

The year was 1995, during the height of Carey’s fame as an R&B/soul artist. She was recording Daydream, her fifth studio album, which featured tried-and-true hits like “Fantasy,” “One Sweet Day,” and “Always Be My Baby.”

Little did anyone know, but Chick was also recording an album at that time, titled Someone’s Ugly Daughter. Usually after the stroke of midnight, after recording of Daydream had ended, and going as late as six in the morning.

mariah carey, mariah carey grunge, mariah carey new album, grunge music, r&b. jimmy fallon, music The cover for Daydream, Carey's 1995 album. Wikimedia

Record label executives, concerned it would damage Carey’s image (a bit of a repetitive bane throughout her career), refused the album be released…at least, they wouldn’t allow it to be released under Carey’s actual name.

And thus, Chick’s one and only album made its clandestine way into the world, and it became something of a secret legend among hardcore fans, especially those who read Carey’s 2020 memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey, where the singer first shared about it.

You even catch a glimpse of Chick’s dark haired, goth girl attributes in Carey’s “Heartbreaker” music video, thanks to Bianca—the key villainess in the story, who Carey plays, alongside herself.

Fast forward to now, and talk of this long-lost grunge persona has made the airwaves again. As part of Apple Music’s new live show Flowers, Carey sat down with fellow artist SZA and shared gratitude for Someone’s Ugly Daughter allowing her to “feel free when I wasn’t free yet in my life.”

A copy of the album even made its way to Carey’s hands, where she discussed the smudged lipstick, dead cockroach, and kiss print that made up the cover (all her ideas). Gotta admit, she nailed the grunge aesthetic pretty well. SZA even convinced Carey to play two tracks from the release—“Hermit” and “Love Is A Scam"—which you can hear below.

@applemusic @SZA got @Mariah Carey ♬ original sound - Apple Music

“This would have scored so many movies in the 2000s,” one fan wrote.

Another echoed, “this would have been fire on the Clueless soundtrack.”

Then, on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, we heard a snippet of another song, “Prom Queen.” Carey also got to share how making that album gave her a chance to “rebel” and get out “what was in her head.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This is not only a really cool thing to learn about an artist we all easily recognize, but a great reminder to always, no matter what “big” thing we’re working on in life, have something we’re doing that’s purely for ourselves—whether we have record labels to contend with or not.

By the way, you can find the full Someone’s Ugly Daughter album on YouTube and Spotify.

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