Erin Canty

  • Gen X is stunned to learn just how old the actors on their favorite shows actually were back then
    Archie and Edith Bunker and The Skipper were all in their 40s. Photo credit: Public Domain

    Aging is a little weird, and Gen X is in the thick of coming to terms with it. Born between 1965 and 1980, the “forgotten generation” finds itself flummoxed by being in its mid-40s to early 60s, fully middle-aged and even a bit beyond.

    It’s common to feel younger than our years, but for Gen X, the math really isn’t mathing—especially when discovering how old the “old” actors in shows from their childhood actually were.

    Let’s start with Gilligan’s Island, an after-school staple for many a Gen Xer. Remember Thurston Howell III, the wealthy older man with his sweet wife, Lovey? Mr. Howell was played by Jim Backus, who was 51 when the show began. Just sit with that for a second.

    The actress who played his wife, Natalie Schafer, was 13 years older than he was, but still. He was only 51? And what about The Skipper? He seemed like an old guy when we were kids, right? Nope. Alan Hale Jr. was only 43, two years younger than Tom Brady was when he retired from the NFL.

    Carol O'Connor and Jean Stapleton, who played Archie and Edith Bunker, in All in the Family
    Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton in 1973, around 49 and 50 years old. Photo credit: Public Domain/Wikimedia Commons

    What about Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton, who played Archie and Edith Bunker on All in the Family? They had to have been in their 60s at least, right? Nope. They were also in their 40s when the show began.

    Remember Julia Sugarbaker in Designing Women, who was the older, wiser one of the group? She didn’t necessarily seem “old-old” when we were kids, but we might have described her as an “older woman.” Turns out Dixie Carter was 47 when she started that role, which is younger than nearly all Gen Xers are now. Oof.

    How about the fact that three of the four Golden Girls were supposed be in their 50s in the show? Or that Rue McClanahan, who played Blanche Devereaux, was 51 years old when the series began?

    Going back further, do you know how old actor David Tomlinson was when he played Mr. Banks in the original Mary Poppins film? He seemed like a grumpy old man to us as kids, but he was 47.

    Mr. Roper on Three’s Company was surely an older gentleman, right? Only if you consider 53 to be old. Are we seriously Mr. Roper now and not Jack Tripper? When did that happen?

    On one hand, seeing that we’re now in the age range of these actors—and in some cases even older—is jarring. On the other hand, perhaps we should feel good about the fact that 50 (and sometimes 60) really is the new 40.

    Why people look younger now than they did in the ’60s and ’70s

    There may be some denial at play in not seeing ourselves in these actors who were our age, but that’s not the whole story. Objectively, some of these people looked much older than people in their 40s and 50s do today. Why is that?

    According to McGill University, there are several reasons people looked older, beyond just our bias against outdated hairstyles and clothing styles.

    The primary reasons people looked older in the past were environmental and lifestyle factors. The ubiquity of cigarette smoking was a big one, as smoking causes premature aging of the skin. As smoking declined in popularity, its widespread aging effects did, too.

    Sun exposure is another factor. Previous generations would slather themselves in baby oil to speed up UV exposure. Now we know that’s unhealthy on multiple levels. Increased use of sunscreen and greater sun avoidance have slowed the aging effects of the sun.

    Even the reduction of certain kinds of air pollution has helped keep our skin looking younger. It turns out that fixing the hole in the ozone layer has had some ancillary anti-aging benefits for us all.

    The push for health and longevity research since Gen Xers were kids has also led to better dietary habits and increased hydration. There have also been major advancements in medical and cosmetic interventions that help us look younger for longer.

    So while it may make us blink twice to see how old the seemingly “old” actors of our childhood were, it’s all good. We may be as old as they were, but we likely don’t look as old as they did. Gen X still has time before “old age” really hits us.

  • Dad shares how he raises his 2-year-old daughter while working on a cruise ship
    Ben Featherstone and his family.Photo credit: @benfeatherstone_/TikTok

    Raising a child on a cruise ship might not be the most conventional parenting choice, but it certainly comes with a view.

    Just ask Ben Featherstone, who, in between singing sets aboard the MSC Virtuosa, lives with his wife and their two-year-old daughter, Piper. He documents their adventure along the way for his growing social media audience.

    This globetrotting lifestyle wasn’t necessarily something Featherstone originally envisioned. In fact, when he first learned he was going to become a dad, he assumed his cruise ship performing days were behind him. The cruise line he worked for at the time didn’t allow family members to stay onboard, and understandably, fatherhood seemed incompatible with months at sea.

    On a whim, he auditioned for a different cruise line. When the contract offer came through, it included an unexpected twist: immediate family members were allowed to stay onboard for up to four weeks at a time. Suddenly, what felt like an ending became a brand-new beginning.

    So, Featherstone and his wife decided to give it a go. Their current routine looks a little something like this: every other month, he performs for three days while at sea. During the remaining days of that stretch, the family explores whichever port they’ve docked in—whether that’s a sun-soaked Mediterranean town or a bustling European city. After those weeks onboard, Piper and her mom, who thankfully has flexibility in her own work schedule, return to London for four weeks. Then the cycle repeats.

    “Little did I know this [audition] would lead me to create a whole new lifestyle,” Featherstone shared in a video clip.

    And for little Piper, life is anything but dull. When she’s not toddling through charming cobblestone streets in a new country, she’s taking full advantage of the ship’s amenities. There are water parks, splash zones, live entertainment, and seemingly endless holiday-themed festivities throughout the year. She also attends the ship’s baby club, where she socializes and plays with other children her age from all over the world. In many ways, the ship has become its own tiny, ever-changing village.

    In one particularly heart-melting moment shared online, Featherstone’s castmates serenade Piper for her second birthday as crew members gather to celebrate. The video captures how this unconventional life still manages to create a sense of community. Though constantly on the move, Piper is surrounded by familiar faces who cheer her milestones and help create memories that will last a lifetime.

    @benfeatherstone_

    The cast really are her extended family whilst we’re on the ship 🫰 #cruiselife #cruisetok #performer #backstage #fyp

    ♬ original sound – Ally Rendall

    “What an amazing life!” one viewer commented. It’s kind of hard not to agree.

    Of course, the lifestyle isn’t without its challenges. As Featherstone candidly told People, “raising a 2-year-old is quite hard either way.”

    Parenting doesn’t suddenly become effortless just because there’s an ocean view. There are still tantrums, sleep schedules, and picky eating to contend with, plus the logistical puzzle of traveling with a toddler. During the four weeks when Piper and her mom return to London, Featherstone deeply feels their absence.

    Still, for this family, the trade-offs feel worth it. Instead of choosing between career and parenthood, they’ve found a creative way to blend both—proving that sometimes the most custom-made paths lead to the richest experiences.

  • How to improve any speech with this 6-word framework by Stanford professor Matt Abrahams
    85% of people feel nervous in high-stakes communication situations. Photo credit: Canva
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    How to improve any speech with this 6-word framework by Stanford professor Matt Abrahams

    Abrahams introduces the “Calm, Unlock, Redefine, Listen, Structure, and Focus” method.

    Visualize this: your boss suddenly turns to you in a meeting and asks, “What do you think?” Your mind goes blank. You were paying attention, but being put on the spot feels intense. Your heart pounds. You try to respond, unsure of what to say, and then replay the moment in your mind for the next hour.

    Situations like this happen to almost everyone. Matt Abrahams, who teaches organizational behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business, says that up to 85% of people feel nervous in high-stress communication moments. As he jokes, “Quite frankly, I think the other 15% are lying.”

    Luckily, Abrahams has spent his career studying what happens in these high-pressure moments and, more importantly, how we can handle them well. He’s not only an academic; he also coaches some of the world’s top speakers, including executives, Nobel Prize presenters, and TED Talk headliners.

    Let’s look at how this six-step system works in real situations.

    Mindset: How to stop holding yourself back

    The first four steps of Abrahams’ system are about what happens in your mind before you say anything.

    Step 1: Calm–Tame your anxiety

    Anxiety isn’t a personal weakness; it’s part of being human. Abrahams explains that our fear of speaking in front of others comes from evolution. It’s a reaction that started when our place in a group was important for survival. Knowing this may not stop your sweaty palms, but it can help you see the experience differently.

    breathing, techniques, anxiety, public, speaking
    Breathing intentionally can help fight anxiety. Photo credit: Canva

    Still, anxiety feels very real. To help with it, Abrahams tackles both the symptoms and the causes. For the symptoms, he suggests deep belly breathing, making your exhale twice as long as your inhale. He calls this the “rule of lung.” For example, breathe in for three counts and out for six. Try this a few times before an important meeting or when you expect questions. The longer exhale helps your body relax.

    Anxiety comes from worrying about what might happen. The best way to fight it is to stay present. Abrahams suggests using tongue twisters, counting backward from 100 by 17s, or greeting people before you speak. These tricks keep you focused on the moment, so there’s less room to worry about what could go wrong.

    Step 2: Unlock–Aim for “good enough”

    This part often surprises people. Abrahams tells his Stanford MBA students to “strive for mediocrity so that you can achieve greatness.” Most of them are shocked when they hear this.

    His reason makes sense. When you try to speak perfectly, part of your mind is talking while another part is judging you. This inner critic uses up your mental energy. Abrahams borrows from improv and says to “dare to be dull.” Lowering the pressure helps you get unstuck. Once you start talking, your confidence and momentum grow.

    Step 3: Redefine–See problems as opportunities

    For most people, public speaking feels like a test you either pass or fail. Abrahams suggests a new way to look at it: “We have to see these situations as opportunities, not threats.”

    Changing your mindset makes a big difference. A question from the audience becomes an occasion to connect. An unexpected follow-up in a meeting is an opportunity to show what you know. Abrahams also cites the “Yes, And” idea from improv, which means accepting what’s happening and building on it instead of fighting it.

    Step 4: Listen–Pace, space, grace

    Listening well before you respond is one of the most overlooked communication skills. Abrahams uses a framework from his colleague, Collins Dobbs, called “pace, space, grace.”

    listening, skills, anxiety, communication, speaking
    Listening well before you respond is one of the most overlooked communication skills. Photo credit: Canva

    Pace explains the benefits of holding back before answering. Most of us start thinking of our answer before the other person is done talking. Space is about giving yourself a moment, maybe by asking a clarifying question or repeating what you heard before you reply. Grace is about trusting your gut. Sometimes, people don’t need an answer—they need to be acknowledged, supported, or just have a different kind of conversation. Learning to detect this is a valuable skill.

    Messaging: Deciding what to say and how to say it

    Once you have the right mindset, the next two steps help you figure out what to say.

    Step 5: Structure – Organize your thoughts on the fly

    This is where Abrahams’ approach gets really useful. He believes that if you know the basic outline of your answer ahead of time, you can focus on incorporating details that matter to you.

    To help you speak off the cuff, he suggests a simple three-part structure: “What? So what? Now what?” This method helps you organize your thoughts clearly, even when you’re caught off guard.

    • First, state your main idea, position, or key information. (What?)
    • Next, explain why it matters to your audience. (So what?)
    • Finally, suggest what should happen next or what action to take. (Now what?)

    This structure isn’t a script—it’s sort of like a recipe. You bring the ideas, and the framework helps you put them together.

    Step 6: Focus – Get to the point

    Be explicit and direct about your purpose. Abrahams shares his mother’s advice: “Tell me the time, don’t build me the clock.” In other words, when someone asks a question, they want the answer, not the whole backstory.

    To stay on track, Abrahams suggests asking yourself before you speak: What do I want this person to understand? How do I want them to feel? What do I want them to do? This three-part goal—”know, feel, do”—helps you avoid rambling. When you have a clear goal, you get to the point faster.

    How to actually get better at this

    But Abrahams points out that frameworks alone aren’t enough. “The only way to get good at communication is the same way we get good at anything else,” he says. “Repetition, reflection, and feedback.”

    Keep practicing—you will get better at public speaking. Photo credit: Canva

    This means practicing out loud, not just in your head. It also helps to record yourself and watch the video, since there’s often a difference between how we think we sound and how others see us. Ask for honest feedback, not just reassurance.

    He recommends building a “communication pantry“—a set of stories, examples, and facts you can use when you need them. The more you have ready, the easier it is to respond on the spot.

    Improving one discussion at a time

    What’s great about Abrahams’ approach is that you don’t have to pretend to be someone else. Instead, use what you already have—your knowledge, experience, and real desire to connect—so you can rely on those strengths even when you’re under pressure.

    Abrahams often says “connection over perfection,” which is a helpful signal of what really matters. The goal of speaking off the cuff isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be present, helpful, and real. When you stop worrying about performing and focus on the person you’re talking to, you actually get better at it.

    Start small. Before your next meeting, take three deep breaths. Pick a simple structure, like “what, so what, now what,” and give it a try. Notice what happens. Like any skill, you’ll get better with practice, one discussion at a time.

  • This 2016 concert footage of Adele meeting two young fans keeps going viral for the best reason
    Adele performs in Australia in 2017Photo credit: Photo by Robst56 via Wikimedia Commons
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    This 2016 concert footage of Adele meeting two young fans keeps going viral for the best reason

    It captures something you don’t often see from artists at that level: genuine surprise.

    There are concerts, and then there are moments that happen inside concerts that nobody planned and nobody could have scripted. Adele has a gift for the latter.

    During her Adele Live 2016 tour stop at the Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam on June 1st, she did what she often does between songs: she invited a couple of kids from the crowd to come up on stage. Two young girls clambered up. Adele hugged them, crouched down to their level, and started chatting. Names, where are you from, the usual warm Adele small talk. Then one of the girls said she was from London.

    Adele paused. She glanced out at the crowd and saw a man she recognized.

    And then it hit her.

    “Oh my god! No way! I knew you from when you were a baby!” she gasped, as Today reported in its coverage of the moment. “Her mum plays for me. She plays the cello. You were like two weeks old when I first met you.” She then rattled off four OMGs in quick succession, trying to process the fact that the small child she’d last seen as an infant was now standing on her stage at a sold-out arena in Amsterdam, having been pulled from the crowd entirely at random. “That just freaked me out,” she told the audience. “You were like 2 feet tall when I first met you.”

    The girl’s mother plays cello in Adele’s touring band. Her father, who’d brought the girls to the show, was the familiar face in the crowd that gave it away. The girls, nicknamed Daiz and Roo according to an Instagram post captured by NME at the time, had no idea any of this was coming.

    The video, originally captured by a fan and shared on YouTube, has been resurfacing regularly ever since. It’s easy to see why. In a single unscripted minute, it captures something you don’t often see from artists at that level: genuine surprise. Not performed delight, not a rehearsed crowd moment, but the specific look of a person trying to reconcile the baby they once held with the kid standing right in front of them. The whole arena got to watch Adele put the pieces together in real time.

    This is something of a pattern. In a separate concert moment shared on TikTok by user @hannnny3, Adele spotted a young boy in the audience mid-performance, walked over to him, and sang directly to him as he visibly welled up. She brushed his cheek gently and kept going. No announcement, no setup. Just attention, fully given.

    It’s a different kind of stagecraft. Most performers work the crowd. Adele tends to actually notice it.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Grandma offers wake-up call for grandparents who can’t stop buying the grandkids presents
    Gift giving should feel good for the giver and the receiver. But around the holidays, it can be a major cause of stress. Photo credit: @morethangrand/TikTok
    , , ,

    Grandma offers wake-up call for grandparents who can’t stop buying the grandkids presents

    She’s got the perfect solution for what to do when you just can’t pass up a great deal at the store.

    Parents and grandparents find themselves at odds frequently. It could be a disagreement over how much screen time the kids get, battles over grandma giving them too many sweets, or arguments around how often grandma and grandpa should be babysitting. Conflict in their relationships is almost a given, and navigating disagreements in a healthy, productive way is key for the relationship to evolve and grow.

    One huge source of that conflict comes in the form of… stuff! All parents can relate to the sense of dread they feel at the sight of the grandparents arriving for a visit with a trunk-full of of presents. Toys, furniture, costumes, decor, you name it. And that’s just on a regular Tuesday. Around the holidays, it can get even worse. It’s not that they don’t want their kids getting gifts, it’s just all too much, especially when you live in a home with a finite amount of storage.

    DeeDee Moore, a grandma behind the website More Than Grand, recently shared on the her TikTok account that “too much stuff” given from grandparents to their grandkids is one of the main sources of holiday frustration for parents.


    gift guide for grandparents, christmas gifts, in law at christmas, grandparents, parents, kids, family, love
    Moore says experience gifts, and spending quality time, are better options than trunk-loads of presents. Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

    “75% of the parents that we surveyed wished grandparents would respect their wishes about gifts,” she explained, noting that while there are myriad reasons why this would be the case, the most common one (and incidentally the one most “waved off” by the grandparents) is the lack of physical space to accommodate.

    Now, you might be thinking: How much harm can it really do to give a kid a new card game or a baby doll? Certainly those don’t take up that much room. But when Moore breaks down the math, it’s a bit hard to deny.

    “Say your grandson has four other grandparents and four aunts and uncles. Each of these people get him one gift for a second birthday. That’s already nine gifts plus something for mom and dad. We’re up to 10,” she said.

    “If all of those grandparents buy him three things, and two of the aunts get him a little extra something, that’s 22 presents for a 2 year old who would be just as happy with a box.”

    Add in gifts from friends, and random gift-dumps from grandma when she’s been on a hot-streak at the thrift store, and you’ve got a serious storage problem on your hands.

    @morethangrand

    Gifts should be a joy for both the giver and recipient, but at this time of year, they can end up being a source of conflict. Watch for a tip on how to channel your grandparent generosity! For more ways to navigate hotspots during upcoming holidays, make sure you are on our email list! Go to my bio to sign up! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandma#newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

    ♬ original sound – MoreThanGrand

    Yikes, gotta admit that’s a lot. And that’s not counting the additional problems too much gift-giving can incite listed on the More Than Grand website, which included:

    • Undermining the parent’s values that they are trying to instill to their children
    • Damaging a child’s ability to use their imagination
    • Normalizing overconsumption
    • Teaching children to associate seeing grandma or grandpa with getting a gift, rather than focusing on the actual relationship
    (Here’s another one: Too many gifts steals Mom and Dad’s thunder! Parents often put a lot of thought into picking out presents they know their kids will love, only for them to get buried in the avalanche of surprise presents.)

    These are all good points, and yet, what to do with all those good intentions and a desire to spoil some precious little nugget? Luckily, Moore has the perfect fix.

    “While your grandchildren are faced with getting too many gifts, many children are in the opposite situation. Take some of the things you bought to Toys for Tots or another organization that provides gifts for less fortunate families.”

    This allows folks to step into the “true spirit of giving,” Moore concluded.

    Viewers by and large seemed to agree, though many also noted how powerful experiential or future-building gifts could be, even if they’re not as cute as toys or as fun to open.


    @morethangrand

    How often do we hear “it takes a village to raise a child’? Grandparents can be that village, but it can be hard to show up the way today’s parents need. We created a digital grandparenting course that will teach you everything you need to know to be the village for your grandchild’s parents. It’s called New Grandparent Essentials, and you can find a link in my profile! It’s the best investment you can make in your family as you become a grandparent! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

    ♬ original sound – MoreThanGrand

    “My in-laws opened up a college fund for both my kids. Instead of stuff they put more money in the account. I’m so grateful!” one person wrote.

    Another added, “I am giving experiences and putting money in an account for future needs (college, 1st house, starting business, etc).”

    In the vein, here are two other tips grandparents can use for intentional gift-giving…

    First and foremost: open up a discussion with the parents. See if they need help with a big ticket item, find out which hobby or sport the child is interested in, ask what’s a definite “no.” this can save a lot of headaches for everyone.

    “The gifts should surprise the grandkids, not their parents,” as one commenter wrote on the video.

    Second: prioritize memories over stuff. A trip to the zoo, an education membership, a ticket for two to the movies…these are often the gifts that truly keep on giving.

    And grandparents, don’t forget: just because you’re honoring boundaries, it doesn’t mean you have to pass up that sweet little something you see in the aisles. After all, shopping is fun, and it’s even better when you find a great deal or a cool discovery. But it can easily go to a little one who could really use it.

    For even more tip on all things grandparenting, give More Than Grand a follow here.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • 15 hard truths that people swear made their lives so much better
    A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends. Photo credit: via Liza Summer/Pexels

    A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder. However, understanding some of life’s hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

    Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest, and good. A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.

    The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

    Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

    1. Stop comparing yourself

    “There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have.”

    “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

    Research shows we have a tendency to compare ourselves to highly visible and highly skilled people, which makes us feel worse. We wonder why we can’t cook as well as our foodie friend or why we’re not as organized and put-together as our Type A neighbor. No wonder comparisons make us feel like crap!

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks
    Comparison is the thief of joy. Giphy

    2. Some people won’t like you

    “You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don’t like peaches.”

    “In Spanish, there’s a saying: ‘Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,’ which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else.”

    Worrying too much about making everyone like you is a quick path to becoming a people pleaser, an impossible task that takes a serious toll on your mental health.

    3. Things are just things

    “They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it.”

    Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. “People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something,” Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

    Things don’t care if you throw them away. Giphy

    4. Not all friendships last

    “Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones.”

    “Most friendships are based on convenience, I’ve found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement.”

    It’s natural and OK to outgrow friendships. If you’ve put in a solid effort and it’s not working the way it used to, being comfortable with letting the relationship go will do wonders for your guilt and stress levels.

    5. You may be the bad guy

    “You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story.”

    “One of my current favourite memes is: I don’t care if I’m the villain in your story, you’re the clown in mine.”

    The truth is we’re all just people doing our best, even the people who have wronged you.

     

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

    You might be the villain in someone’s story. Giphy

    6. You can’t change people

    “You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help.”

    “It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught.”

    Expecting others to change is bound to lead to disappointment. There’s a saying that goes, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Hoping and wishing and working to make them somewhere else, more often than not, gets you nowhere.

    7. How we judge ourselves and others

    “We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions.”

    “In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error.”

    The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone’s actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It’s like when we blame someone’s driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

    We judge others differently than how we judge ourselves. Giphy

    8. Depending on people

    “Once you’re an adult, there really isn’t anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you.”

    Perhaps one of the harshest truths of all, but once you accept it, the path forward becomes extremely clear. It’s up to you to make everything happen, and there’s really no one else to blame if you don’t.

    9. Nice doesn’t equal good

    “Nice people aren’t always good people.”

    “One of my bosses doesn’t greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He’s been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering.”

    Niceness can even be toxic when it’s not coming from a place of genuine authenticity. Sometimes hard conversations and conflict are necessary, and avoiding them is not healthy.

    10. Everything is temporary

    “You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time…and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning.”

    11. Nobody is thinking about you

    “In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You’re not even a blip on their radar. If you’re insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares.”

    Worried about something small like how the sleeves on your shirt fit you? It’s OK if you care, but no one else will. People are far too consumed with their own lives and problems to remember the minutiae of some stranger they saw in passing. Accepting this is incredibly freeing!

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

    Nobody is paying attention to you (and that’s a good thing). Giphy

    12. No one is coming to save you

    “No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself.”

    “And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof.”

    13. Nobody knows what they’re doing

    “Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke.”

    This realization could help cure your Imposter Syndrome. Most people are just making it up as they go along and so you shouldn’t feel ashamed of doing the same.

    14. Love is reciprocal

    “If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don’t really care about or want you, and you’re in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise.”

     

    harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

    We accept the love we think we deserve. Giphy

    15. Who’s good for you?

    “People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you’re not okay, and won’t even bother noticing when you’re not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts.”

    These are called harsh or hard truths for a reason. It’s human nature to feel self-conscious, feel like an imposter, try to change people, or worry if other people like us. But the more of these you can free yourself from, the better you’ll feel.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • People are shocked to learn the real meaning behind The Lion King’s ‘Circle of Life’ song
    The meaning of the Zulu chant in "The Lion King" song "Circle of Life."Photo credit: Wikipedia/ Walt Disney Feature Animation

    The Disney movie The Lion King was released in 1994, and it had a soundtrack full of bangers. Produced by Hans Zimmer with assists from Elton John, there are so many songs that remain classics—including “Circle of Life.”

    The song begins with the iconic Zulu chant by singer and composer Lebo M at the start of the Disney film, as the sun rises and baby Simba is lifted into the sky by Rafiki: Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama

    And more than 30 years later, people are finally learning what it translates to. On the One54 Africa podcast, Zimbabwean comedian Learnmore Jonasi shared with hosts Akbar Gbajabiamila and Godfrey Daneschmah (and the rest of the world) the meaning of the Disney tune’s chant—and it’s hilariously underwhelming.

    “I’ve seen The Lion King 100 times,” Gbajabiamila says, before giving his own soulful rendition of the chant. “What did I say?”

    Jonasi tells him he said “nothing,” adding that it’s Zulu, a language from South Africa, and that it translates to: “Look! There is a lion. Oh my God.”

    The three burst into guttural laughter. Gbajabiamila and Daneschmah react in disbelief, saying, “You are joking! That is not what that means!”

    Jonasi assures him that’s exactly what it means, and they can’t contain their laughter.

    “This whole time I thought it was like this beautiful, majestic [thing],” Gbajabiamila howls.

    People react to Zulu chant meaning

    On Reddit, people did not hold back their shock and hilarious disappointment about the song’s iconic opening:

    “And here I thought it was some majestic phrase about life 😂.”

    “It does. It does mean that. I found this out and had the same reaction. I f**king howled. ‘Oh look, here comes a lion, father a lion’ or something was how I was told it was. I was amused and somehow disappointed. But like… it’s accurate.

    “I mean it works in the song too since all the animals look at the lions at this part.”

    “You know what… I’m okay with this.”

    “See? This simpleton answer actually fits. Try and think about the sheer amount of people who’ve run around shouting this phrase in public looking like idiots (myself included), and then match their idiocy with the simplicity of this answer!!!”

    “Okay so quite mundane and hilariously so.”

    How “The Circle of Life” was made

    The film’s composer, Hans Zimmer, “tapped Lebo M, a then-exiled South African composer living in the U.S., to help with the music,” according to Rotten Tomatoes.

    Zimmer and Lebo M “riffed” together to come up with the film’s opener, along with Elton John and lyricist Tim Rice, but struggled to nail down an idea until inspiration came to Lebo.

    “Then, suddenly, Lebo cried out ‘Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba,’ and all present agreed—instantly—that the chant would open the film,” the publication noted.

    “Circle of Life” was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song at the 1995 Academy Awards but lost to another of the film’s iconic songs, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”

  • How one teacher came up with the now-viral ‘Tattle Phone’ idea being hailed as a classroom gamechanger
    Anais Zavala shows how to use the Telly Tale Phone.Photo credit: @tellytalephone/TikTok

    If you teach young children, or have young children in school, you might have heard of the viral “Tattle Phone.”

    On TikTok, you’ll find several videos of teachers raving about the product, which they’ve largely purchased on Amazon, for the way it gives students a way to vent while sparing their own sanity.

    Not to mention it provides some grade-A entertainment to boot. Because who can resist piping-hot tea like “Micha burped on purpose!” and “Evan has TWO erasers in his pencil pouch!”

    But what you may not know is that this trendy product stems from the brainchild of a real educator looking for impactful ways to curb tattling in her own classroom.

    @tellytalephone

    Telly Tale Phone ❤️ record your memories, tattles, stories and so much more. #fyp #parati #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #maestra #education #tattletail

    ♬ original sound – Telly Tale ™ ❤️

    Over her 12 years working as a teacher and counselor for transitional kindergarten students through fifth grade, Anais Zavala noticed that “constant tattling” had become a major disruptor to learning. Knowing that kids already associate phones with being listened to, she thought it might be the perfect way to make them feel seen in a structured setting without being so distracting for everyone else.

    And thus the original “Tattle Phone” was born in 2023

    The idea is pretty simple: students walk up to the phone, which has a small Bluetooth recording device that captures all their complaints. But Zavala didn’t stop there. After all, the intention wasn’t just to “stop kids from speaking,” she tells Upworthy, but to focus on “teaching them how to speak, reflect, and resolve conflicts.”

    So, using both her teaching experience and behavioral specialist expertise, Zavala also created a curriculum (available in English and Spanish) that helps educators teach kids to manage conflict and express emotions, also known as Social-Emotional Learning, or SEL.

    One example is learning how to identify the “size” of a problem. In the cute graph below, “itty bitty” problems are represented by a bee, “medium” problems by a monkey, and “big” problems by a giraffe. Each category also includes images of possible solutions, such as breathing deeply, talking to an adult, or calling an ambulance.

    tattle phone, classroom etiquette, teachers, gifts for teachers, parents, kids, kindergarten
    Measuring the size of a problem. Photo credit: Anais Zavala, used with permission

    The reflective aspect became so integral that Zavala eventually renamed and trademarked her device the “Telly Tale Phone,” because she wanted it to feel less about reporting and more about processing what happened. Telling, versus tattling, if you will.

    So, did it work? Yes, in more ways than one 

    Zavala noticed that not only did the Telly Tale Phone result in fewer classroom interruptions, but students also became more mindful with their tattles. They began pausing to rethink what they wanted to say and often tried to solve problems on their own. Other teachers reported similar results: increased independence, better peer conflict resolution, and reclaimed instructional time.

    Unsurprisingly, as Zavala’s Telly Tale Phone began making a splash, similar products started popping up. While Zavala understands that competition is “normal when something meets a real need,” she maintains that what makes the Telly Tale Phone more than a “novelty” item is its structured reflection system. It treats tattling as a learning opportunity rather than something to be squelched entirely.

    “Even though more products are coming out, my focus has always been staying true to the educational mission,” she said. “Our focus has always been impact — not just popularity.”

    Where to buy your own Telly Tale products

    In addition to the Telly Tale Phone, Zavala also sells an adorable Ellie the Telly Elephant stuffie with a similar Bluetooth recording device tucked into its ear, for kiddos who might need something on the softer side.

    If you’d like to support Zavala’s small business, you can check out the Telly Tale Phone website here, as well as follow the Telly Tale Phone socials here and here

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Culture

People are shocked to learn the real meaning behind The Lion King’s ‘Circle of Life’ song

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How one teacher came up with the now-viral ‘Tattle Phone’ idea being hailed as a classroom gamechanger

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