Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation

We live in an age of unlimited choice, thanks to modern technology. At any given time, most of us have access to the entirety of recorded music, thousands of on-demand movies, and even more individual episodes of our favorite shows.

This amount of choice is enough to make a person’s brain combust, especially when that person is a child.

Therapist says “parenting was easier in the 90s” and has a clever idea to fix it

Stephanie Wise, a licensed couples therapist and coach, recently took to social media to share one of her most effective and unique parenting hacks.

“Parenting was easier in the 90s (and no one wants to admit why),” the YouTube video headline reads.

She goes on to explain her favorite hack: “Bring back ’90s tech.”

“One of the hardest parts of parenting is that everything is available all the time. Every show, every song, every snack, every answer, every distraction. And then we wonder why our kids struggle when the answer is No,” she said.

Setting up an old tube TV in the living room with only basic channels sounds great, but it isn’t super feasible in the modern world. So what Wise does in her household is create a “TV schedule” in which “certain shows only play on certain days,” she said.

An example schedule she drew up on a whiteboard shows that Sunday is for Bluey, Wednesday is for Spidey and His Amazing Friends, and Thursday is for Puffin Rock. Other days include a few options—such as The Joy of Painting or Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, old-school choices—or may call for a movie, where the kids can pick from a limited supply of physical VHS tapes.

Choices are either extremely limited or nonexistent most days, and it makes her life much simpler.

“There are almost no natural limits anymore, so parents have to become the limit,” Wise said. “All day long. And it’s so exhausting.”

This is just one small way she gives everyone a well-deserved mental break.

Well over a million people watched Wise’s video across YouTube and other social media platforms, with commenters weighing in on how the advice resonated with them.

“The other thing you’re doing is bringing back that feeling of specialness we had when we couldn’t have everything on demand. That’s priceless,” one person wrote.

“This is so brilliant. You’re also giving your kids the ability to wait, to be bored, to adapt. Those are invaluable in this instant gratification age,” another wrote.

The kids are more relaxed with fewer choices and have a new “bad guy” to blame

Wise says that her TV schedule doesn’t just make her own life easier—it eliminates the daily battles: Can I watch this? How about this? No, I don’t like this. Change it to something else.

If the kids aren’t happy with what’s on TV, Mom is no longer the bad guy—the schedule is.

She also turns any frustration into a teachable moment: “I know, babe, waiting is so hard. I wish it was Spidey day, too.”

Not only are kids more than capable of surviving such a cruel exercise in deprivation, it’s actually good for them. Wise says she uses a similar technique in the car, listening only to the radio (no Spotify), and jokes that sometimes the kids have to deal with “a song they hate and have to survive for three minutes…That’s frustration tolerance, baby.”

What is frustration tolerance? It shouldn’t come as a huge shock that it’s not great for kids (or anyone) to get exactly what they want all the time. “I try to give her opportunities to learn to cope with frustration, boredom, or disappointment,” Wise said. “I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed or controlled by her emotions, so that’s important to me.”

Researchers agree with Wise that frustration management is a crucial skill for kids to learn before becoming adults.

Her method also reduces decision fatigue for all parties involved.

Decision fatigue, especially in an era of unlimited access, can be absolutely exhausting. Research even shows that people who have to make too many decisions day in and day out can simply give up and suffer from a severe lack of willpower.

Wise tells Upworthy that she and her husband aim to keep things as simple as possible for themselves when it comes to dinner menus and weekend plans, but it’s even more important for the kids. This is where she breaks from some of the more traditional parenting advice:

“For kids, we keep it simple. I don’t do choices on things like which cup or plate or spoon. I don’t do choices for clothes. For some kids that might be helpful—let them make ‘unimportant’ choices so they don’t fight the important things—but for my daughter, I found it stressed her out and resulted in way more tantrums.”

Wise admits, though, that what works for her and her family may not be right for everyone.

Wise is part of a growing movement that aims to bring back the lower-stimulation childhood many Millennials and Gen Xers grew up with. Research suggests that the media kids watch can be especially impactful, and slower-paced cartoons like Franklin or Arthur may help children with emotional regulation.

The data coming to light on modern kids’ television, screen time, and social media is alarming, but opting out completely feels difficult. Wise’s method struck a chord with other parents because it’s a simple tweak that can make a huge difference.