+
upworthy
Family

Mom brilliantly explains why she 'never' wants to be a supermom

"If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable."

supermoms, mom pressure, perfect mom

Laura Danger explains why she "never" wants to be a supermom.

Many mothers today grapple with the pressure to be a "supermom"—a force of nature who can handle her role in her family while heading various community organizations such as Girl Scouts, church groups, or their kid’s athletic teams.

This idealized version of motherhood can lead to two big problems, moms that fall short of these momentous expectations can suffer feelings of inadequacy. While those who are relied upon as supermoms can become stressed and burnt out.

Educator and podcast host Laura Danger is getting a lot of love on TikTok for a recent post where she rejects the idea that mothers should feel the need to be a supermom. She even goes further by saying that any organization that needs one isn’t fit to survive.

“I will fight anyone in the street who calls me a supermom,” she begins her video. “I am not a supermom. I never want a be a supermom. I never want anyone to refer to me as so strong. Jack of all trades. We literally couldn’t do it without her. If you weren’t here, everything would fall apart.”


She then explains that when people need supermoms in their families or organizations, it's a sign that things are out of balance.

Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.

@thatdarnchat

Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.

“I never want to be so essential to an organization or a group or even my family that everything relies on me,” she continued. “I want to be important enough that I matter. I want to bring something to the table. But I do not want to be the one sustaining anything.”

If a woman is the supermom in a family, it could mean that their spouse isn’t pulling their weight. In an organization, if everything relies on one person, other members need to step up.

“I do not want to be so strong,” she said. “I want to live a life of ease. I want to be empowered to rest. I am not a supermom. I will never be a super mom.”

Danger believes that if an organization needs a supermom to exist, it probably shouldn’t.

“If you were to match the energy and effort being put in by other people and give just as much as them, and the whole thing would fall apart, you are overcompensating to a point that it was unsustainable,” she concluded. “If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable.”

The post was a relief to many mothers who feel pressured to be supermoms and never considered the idea that the entire concept is toxic.

"It’s like those job postings asking for a 'rockstar' they just mean they want someone to overwork," janisthwpdc commented on the post. "So absolutely true. It’s like telling someone they do the work of three people," Seema added.

"I love this. Women in our situation need respect to feel balance—to be able to thrive and be our best which is why we were made moms to begin with,” Megs wrote.

The pressure for people to be supermoms creates a lot of stress and zaps the joy out of parenting. The fundamental job of a mother is to love and support their child, not to be a pillar that props up their entire family and community. Given all the stress of being a parent in the modern world, it’s time we start embracing “Balanced Mom” over everything else because finding a balance between work, parenting, and community is a true superpower.

The phrase that will shut down your passive-agressive coworker.

Dealing with passive-aggressive people, whether at work or in family life, can be very frustrating. It's like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. Their indirect communication and subtle digs force you to guess what they mean, turning simple conversations into a minefield.

It's draining because you're always on edge, trying to decode hidden messages or intentions, which can create a tense atmosphere. It's tough to have to go through all the extra work when you're just trying to get along and keep things smooth.

It also means that passive-aggressive people can take shots at you that you can’t defend because they hide behind the plausible deniability that they were just being helpful.

Keep ReadingShow less
All images by Rebecca Cohen, used with permission.

Here’s a thought.

Self proclaimed feminist killjoy Rebecca Cohen is a cartoonist based in Berkeley, California.

Here’s what she has to say about her role as an artist taken from her Patreon page.

Keep ReadingShow less
True

After over a thousand years of peaceful relations, European semi-superpowers Sweden and Switzerland may finally address a lingering issue between the two nations. But the problem isn’t either country’s fault. The point is that the rest of the world can’t tell them apart. They simply don’t know their kroppkakor (Swedish potato dumpling) from their birchermüesli (a Swiss breakfast dish).

This confusion on the European continent has played out in countless ways.

Swedish people who move to the United States often complain of being introduced as Swiss. The New York Stock Exchange has fallen victim to the confusion, and a French hockey team once greeted their Swiss opponents, SC Bern, by playing the Swedish National Anthem and raising the Swedish flag.

Skämtar du med mig? (“Are you kidding me?” in Swedish)

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Heartwarming comics break down complex parenting issues with ease

Lunarbaboon comics tackle huge, important subjects with an effective, lighthearted touch that you can't help but smile at.

All images by Christopher Grady/Lunarbaboon, used with permission

Writing comics helped a father struggling with anxiety and depression.

Christopher Grady, a father and teacher from Toronto, was struggling with anxiety and depression. That's when he started drawing.

He describes his early cartoons and illustrations as a journal where he'd chronicle everyday moments from his life as a husband, elementary school teacher, and father to two kids.

"I needed a positive place to focus all my thoughts and found that when I was making comics I felt a little bit better," he says.

He began putting a few of his comics online, not expecting much of a response. But he quickly learned that people were connecting with his work in a deep way.

Keep ReadingShow less
Democracy

Australia is banning entry to anyone found guilty of domestic violence anywhere in the world

"Australia has no tolerance for perpetrators of violence against women and children." 👏👏👏


Australia is sending a strong message to domestic abusers worldwide: You're not welcome here.

Australia has recently broadened a migration law to bar any person who has been convicted of domestic violence anywhere in the world from getting a visa to enter the country. American R&B singer Chris Brown and boxing star Floyd Mayweather had been banned from the country in the past, following their domestic violence convictions. Now the ban applies to all foreign visitors or residents who have been found guilty of violence against women or children.

Even convicted domestic abusers who already have visas and are living in Australia can be kicked out under the new rule. The government is using the rule, which took effect on February 28, 2019 to send a message to domestic violence perpetrators.

Keep ReadingShow less

The Preussen Munster square off against the Würzburger Kickers

As a soccer match between German teams Preussen Munster and Würzburger Kickers went into its final minutes, a defender from the Kickers, 23-year-old Leroy Kwadwo, stopped to point out a problem in the stands.

A Munster fan was making monkey noises at Kwadwo, a black player of Ghanaian descent. It was a clearly racist heckling—an issue that has publicly plagued the international sport in various venues, even as recently as last week. But this time, the response from the crowd far outshined the racist in the stands.

Keep ReadingShow less