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Maisie Williams opens up about the complicated feelings of a traumatic childhood

‘When does joy come for me?’

maisie williams
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Like many kids, Williams normalized abusive behavior.

Parents are often our first source of love and safety. But sometimes, they are the exact opposite. The pain of having an unstable parent can be hard to understand within ourselves, even harder to explain to others and nearly impossible to fully process without some kind of help.

Maisie Williams, best known for her role of Arya Stark on HBO’s “Game of Thrones” series, recently opened up about the “traumatic” relationship she shared with her father on an episode of the podcast series “Diary of a CEO.”



Though she didn’t delve too deeply into specific details (to protect her siblings), her words depict complex emotions often felt by those who grew up with childhood stress—including confusion, loneliness, self-loathing and a loss of trust not only in other people, but in themselves and the world as a whole.

“A lot of the traumatic things that were happening I didn’t realize that they were wrong,” she told host Steven Bartlett. It wasn’t until her teacher began expressing concern about her home life at the age of 8 that she thought something might be going on.

“She was saying, like, ‘What’s wrong?’ you know, like, ‘What’s happened? Are you hungry?’ ... ‘Did you eat breakfast?’ I said, ‘No.’ And she said, ‘Oh, why no?’ And I said, ‘We just don’t have any breakfast,’” she recalled, saying that “it was the first time that all of the doors were open and all of these things that we were experiencing were out on the table.”

After that interaction, Williams began to compare herself to her classmates, wondering why other kids didn’t feel the way she did. “I would look around at other kids and be like, ‘where does that joy…when does that come for me?’” Childhood trauma can hardwire the brain for chronic depression. However, since depression sets in so early in life, those symptoms might not seem out of the ordinary until later in life, and often not without the professional guidance of a therapist.


Instead of acknowledging her father’s role in her pain, Williams blamed herself for it, thinking that something must be “inherently wrong” with her. She’s not alone in her reasoning. Kids tend to blame themselves for their parents actions and moods.

Eventually, Williams was separated from her father, and even though it was the best thing for her, it wasn’t without its own complications.

“I was so glad I didn’t have to see my dad anymore, but it was against everything I’d ever known. You still care a lot about that person, or the pain that led to those very, very poor decisions,” she recalled.

Williams added that “you can feel so liberated and free and at the same time that impending doom is kind of still there.” The unfair truth is that childhood trauma often has lifelong effects. Without healthy caregivers to set an emotional foundation of security, it can be a Herculean effort to recondition a sense of safety in order to live without constant anxiety and dread. As Williams put it, “all your problems don’t just go away” after being pulled out of a harmful situation. There’s still psychological wounding that needs healing.

Williams is not the only celebrity who has used her fame to raise awareness around these issues. Jenette McCurdy wrote “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” a memoir that details her troubled relationship with her mother. Hayden Panetierre recently spoke on “Red Table Talk” about having to give up custody of her daughter, offering perspective from that of the parent who must let go in order to really do what’s right by their child. Hopefully this inspires others to speak about these things. Nothing about dysfunctional family dynamics is easy, but being able to communicate these challenges helps it not be such an alienating task.

You can watch the full interview below:


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Planet

45 years ago, Carl Sagan beautifully explained the fourth dimension with just an apple

Sagan was the Mister Rogers of complex scientific concepts.

via Carl Sagan Planetary Society/Wikimedia Commons and John Finkelstein/Pexels

Carl Sagan used a sliced apple to perfectly explain the fourth dimension.

The concept of the fourth dimension seems beyond human comprehension. As three-dimensional beings, we are unable to see beyond a physical object's height, width and depth. What else could there be? Even if you understand the concept, it is almost impossible to picture it in your mind, which is bound by the limits and realities of the physical world around us.

Enter Carl Sagan, revered as one of the greatest science communicators of his time. Perhaps best known for his research into extraterrestrial life, he was one of the first people to demonstrate that life could have existed on Mars. Sagan possessed a unique gift for demystifying complex scientific concepts, making them accessible and thrilling for the general public. If you never had the pleasure of watching him on television, you could imagine him as something of a Scientific Mister Rogers. Friendly, a wonderful storyteller, and always able to distill difficult lessons into their simplest form.

In 1980, on Episode 10 of the groundbreaking PBS show “Cosmos,” Sagan embarked on a mission to explain the seemingly impossible fourth dimension.


carl sagan, cosmos ,4th dimension, 3-D, 4-D, 2-D, physics, theoretical physics, math, science, space, spacetime, einsteinA great communicator and handsome, to boot.Giphy

Many of us have commonly heard of time being considered the fourth dimension. That's not so hard to understand — in order to locate an object in the universe, you'd need to know three dimensions of its spatial location and also the time during which it exists.

But there is also a more theoretical and harder to understand place, where all four dimensions are spatial. It is nearly impossible for any of us to comprehend... without the help of a gifted teacher.

What’s excellent about Sagan’s explanation is that he uses simple and relatable objects: an apple and a Tesseract, or a hypercube.

carl sagan, cosmos ,4th dimension, 3-D, 4-D, 2-D, physics, theoretical physics, math, science, space, spacetime, einsteinSagan explains that if an apple existed in a 2-dimensional space, anyone living in this "flatland" would only see a cross-section of it at a time.Giphy

"In discussing the large scale structure of the cosmos, astronomers sometimes say that space is curved. Or that the universe is finite but unbound," Sagan begins. "Whatever are they talking about?"

Yeah, this guy gets it.

Sagan then goes on to explain how a two-dimensional being living in a flat world would perceive a three-dimensional object like an apple.

Watch his full explanation here. It's hypnotic and entertaining and incredibly enlightening.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


“Imagine we live in this ‘Fllatland’/2-D plane with no concept of ‘up’ or ‘down.’ Then along comes a 3-D object like an apple. We do not even notice it until it crosses our plane of existence — and even then, we have no idea what the apple is,” Sagan explains. “We see only a fragment as it passes through our plane. There is no way we can comprehend the 3-D quality/dimension of the apple, because it is more than we can understand. We only have the evidence of what has passed through our plane.”

To further demonstrate, Sagan stamps the apple into an inkpad and then onto the surface in front of him, which represents Flatland and all of its inhabitants. Inside Flatland, the apple exists only as its points of contact on the paper; or four small dots. He adds that as the apple passes through the 2-dimensional Flatland, its cross-section changes. So someone living in that plane of existence would experience the apple as an ever-shifting and rearranging set of shapes or objects. Wild!

Sagan then related this two-dimensional experience of the third dimension to how we might try to understand the fourth. To do so, he used the Tesseract, a four-dimensional cube, to demonstrate how difficult it is for us to perceive or visualize dimensions beyond our own three.

carl sagan, cosmos ,4th dimension, 3-D, 4-D, 2-D, physics, theoretical physics, math, science, space, spacetime, einsteinA tesseract can not exist in 3-dimensional space, but it can be approximated the same way a cube can be drawn on paper.Giphy

Sagan explains that the tesseract is a cube expanded into a 4th dimension, but "I cannot show you a tesseract because I, and you, are trapped in three dimensions." But what he can do is show us a 3-dimensional rendering of one. Just like a cube can be drawn and approximated (or cast a shadow) onto a piece of paper, a 4-dimensional tesseract can be imperfectly represented in 3-dimensional space. Still following?

At this point, Sagan is asking the viewer to expand their minds to understand the fourth dimension metaphorically. Though we cannot see it or even properly visualize it, that doesn't mean that the things we can see can't offer clues and lessons about the fourth dimension.

Studying 4-dimensional space can help in our understanding of the universe around us. Just because we see and experience only three dimensions doesn't mean that's all that exists. It's critical for physicists and mathematicians to be able to understand and map these theoretical spaces to better comprehend things we otherwise can not explain. Remember the ever-changing, rearranging set of shapes as the apple passes through Flatland?

Sagan’s demonstration of the fourth dimension isn’t just a wonderful explanation of a scientific idea that many of us find difficult to comprehend; it’s also a great example of how to teach complex ideas by combining clear explanations, everyday concepts everyone can understand, and brilliant storytelling.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Wellness

The seemingly immortal Rob Lowe reveals his 3 adorably accurate secrets to looking young

"If I could sleep 12 hours a night, I would."

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Actor Rob Lowe poses for a photo.

There are those people who have somehow dunked themselves into a fountain of youth, laced with magical water that keeps them immune to aging. Some call it the "Paul Rudd Effect," and others just call it luck. It's as if they never set foot in the sun, or took a sip of champagne, or even had so much as a negative thought. Forever 30 they'll stay.

With actor Rob Lowe, it's a little different. True—he was born with genes that have given him dashing, traditional "good looks": good hair, pretty eyes, and a jawline that could cut a well-done filet. But Rob has had plenty of time in the sun, and had those "party years" to boot. As he ever-so-slightly ages, however, he still looks incredibly youthful. And he's here to tell you why.

On a recent appearance on The Today Show, Rob opened up about what keeps him looking so darn good after Al Roker exclaims, "You're 61, right? You use a lot of serums, don't you?" Rob proudly admits, "I use everything! Are you kidding me?"

Al points out, "There's only nine years between us and you look SO much better." To which Rob jokes, "Al, you need to get a traveling facelift doctor." (I say that's a joke, but who knows?)

@todayshow

Rob Lowe, 61, says he credits his youthful looks to three things: sobriety, good sleep, and a "traveling facelift doctor" 🤣 #TODAYShow

Traveling facelift doctor or not, Rob then gets candid about the real reasons he's looking youthful: "I've been sober 35 years this week. Just that alone, you know, the cumulative alcohol—even if you don't have a problem with it. I think that's part of it."

He adds, "I sleep a lot. A LOT. People used to make fun of me about how much I slept. Now the science is turning around and people are, like, bragging about their sleep." When asked just how much sleep he gets, he brags, "I could throw down 12 hours," clarifying, "if I could. But, I'm a solid nine and a half hours."

The comments on TikTok range from expressing how well he (and Al Roker, for that matter) are aging "like a fine wine" to accusations that it's all Botox and the like. But quite a few also agree with his tips. "Not drinking is key. As is sleep and the intermittent fasting that comes with that sleep." And others swear it's all about the hair. "Hair always helps," one commenter insists.

Rob Lowe, youthful, anti-aging tips, healthy living. youngRob Lowe on the TV show Parks and Rec.Giphy, NBC Universal, Peacock

Elsewhere, people are thrilled to share their anti-aging secrets, and not just in terms of hawking products. On Alisha Williams’s TikTok page (@thealishawilliams), she posts a clip called "Aging backwards." She explains that on three different occasions (a nurse at the doctor's office, a nail manicurist, and a pest control technician), all note that she looks at least five to ten years younger than her actual age of 34. Her reasoning, as written in the video's description? "When drinking your water and minding your own business will have you aging backwards."

Much like Rob Lowe mentions—"Serum, sobriety and sleep"—Alisha touches on a few other holy grails, water being a huge one. Perhaps "minding your own business" was said tongue-in-cheek, but there's something to be said about a lack of stress that comes with not getting wrapped up in the minutiae of other people's lives.


@thealishawilliams

When drinking your water and minding your business will have you aging backwards 😉 #millennialsoftiktok #millennial

Reddit also has its share of tips—from sunscreen to good posture. On a thread entitled, "How do some older people look so young and physically so capable?" over a hundred Redditors chimed in. One succinctly listed many of the things we've just covered: "Don't smoke and drink. Eat healthy, not just sometimes but all the time. Sleep 7 hours at least per night. Be active, exercise. A simple 10 min walk is WAYYY better than nothing at all. Drink lots of water."

Another commenter replies with what many of us might be thinking as perhaps the number one indicator of a youthful appearance: "Have parents who look younger than they are." Genetics, possibly, for the win.

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Family

Middle-class families share how much they have in their savings accounts and it's eye-opening

"We make the most money we ever have and have zero savings. We live paycheck to paycheck and every month I don’t know how we get by."

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels

Many middle class families are sharing that they have nothing in savings right now.

According to an April 2024 Gallup poll, 54% of Americans identify as part of the middle class, with 39% identifying as "middle class" and 15% identifying as "upper-middle class." That percentage has held fairly steady for years, but what it feels like to be a middle-class American has shifted for many.

Notably, inflation caused by the pandemic has hit middle-class families hard, with incomes not keeping up with cost-of-living increases. Housing costs have skyrocketed in many areas of the country, mortgage interest rates have risen to levels not seen since the pre-Obama era, and grocery bills have increased significantly. One government study found that the cost of living has increased between around $800 and $1,300 a month, depending on the state, since 2021, putting a squeeze on everyone, including the middle class.

How much money do middle-class Americans have in their savings accounts?

One woman shared that her family is just getting by and asked other middle-class people to "chime in" with what they have in their savings accounts.

@abbyy..rosee

somethings gotta give #savings #middleclass #relatable

"I swear, every paycheck I am putting money into my savings, but needing to transfer it back within a few days," shared @abbyy..rosee on TikTok. "My registration is due. My husband's registration is due. He needed two new tires, even though they had a warranty. That's $300. My oldest needs braces, he needs a palate expander, that's $120 a month. Not to mention groceries are $200 more a week. Forget about feeding your family great ingredients because who has $500 a week to spend on perfect ingredients to feed your family?"

middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, A depressed couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

She explained that her husband makes enough money that they should be able to live comfortably, and that she quit her job because the cost of daycare was more than she was making.

"At some point, something has to give," she said. "What is going on? How do I save money?"

People in the comments chimed in with their savings account totals and it was quite eye-opening. Many people shared that they have $0 saved.

"We make the most money we ever have and have zero savings. We live paycheck to paycheck and every month I don’t know how we get by."

"I think the middle class is 1 personal disaster away from bankruptcy."

"Y’all got savings accounts?!?! 😂"

"I used to freak out if I had under $10k in savings, now I’m happy when I have over $150. 😫"

"We make almost 100,000 a year with no savings!!!! It's always something!!"

"I'm lucky if we have $500-$1K for an emergency. Every single time we start saving, something happens: the vet, the cars, the kids... something."

"Savings account? I transfer money each paycheck but always end up needing to transfer it back. My husband makes great money too but we are scraping by."

"$803 but we have to pay a $750 deductible this week b/c my Husband hit a deer soooo… back at it 😭 It’s exhausting. Constantly draining it, refilling it, transferring."


middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, An upset couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

Some people shared that they do have some savings, but several said it was because they'd had an inheritance or other chunk of money come their way. Many people shared that their savings has dwindled as increased costs have taken their toll. Some people gave lifestyle advice to save money, but most agreed that just the basics have gotten so expensive it's harder to make ends meet much less put extra into savings.

Thankfully, the inflation issue appears to be waning, but even just plateauing at their current financial reality isn't ideal for many American families. Middle class is supposed to be a comfortable place to be—not rich, but well enough off to feel secure. That's not how many middle class folks feel, though. Most Americans don't have anything close to the amount of money saved that is recommended across the age spectrum, but at least hearing that others are in the same boat is somewhat comforting.

middle class, cash, savings, family finances, dollar bills, An upset couple doing their bills.via Canva/Photos

Further, a 2024 study found that 37% of Americans can't afford an unexpected expense over $400, and nearly a quarter of them don't have any emergency savings at all. “Not all surprises are good, and people know it. The study suggests financial precarity at a time when household finances may be stretched due to rising prices and inflation,” says Rebecca Rickert, head of communications at Empower. “Life happens, and people are stressed about the surprise expenses that could tip them off-balance.”

It can be vulnerable to share your financial reality, but it's helpful to hear what other people are doing and dealing with so we all feel less alone when we're struggling. Perhaps if people were more open about money, we'd all be able to help one another find ways to improve our financial situations rather than lamenting our empty savings accounts and wondering how to change them.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Wellness

A pageant winner boldly called out her abuser in the audience during her final interview

"I took back my power—not just for myself, but for my dreams and everyone watching and listening."

Miss Kansas/Facebook

Alexis Smith was crowned Miss Kansas in June 2024.

Domestic violence survivors cheered on the winner of the 2024 Miss Kansas competition after she stood on stage and called out her abuser who showed up to the pageant. Before Alexis Smith was chosen from 26 participants in the state competition on June 8, 2024 to represent Kansas in the 2025 Miss America contest, she was asked to speak on stage about her Reclaimed Respect initiative.

“My vision as the next Miss Kansas is to eliminate unhealthy and abusive relationships,” Smith said. “Matter of fact, some of you out in this audience saw me very emotional because my abuser is here today. But that’s not going to stop me from being on this Miss Kansas stage and from representing as the next Miss Kansas. Because I, and my community, deserve healthy relationships. We deserve a domestic [violence] free life.”

Watch:

@lexlex_smith

Respect Reclaimed is about reclaiming your power and standing firmly in it. On the night of Miss Kansas, my journey took an unexpected turn when someone I have been healing from tried to disrupt my peace. Instead of falling into silence, I chose to live out my vision for a better world. I took back my power—not just for myself, but for my dreams and everyone watching and listening. This isn't about shunning others; it's about turning our pain into purpose and channeling it in a way that unifies and uplifts. I'm ready to use my story, tools, and resources to end unhealthy relationships in all forms. My voice and advocacy will empower everyone to reclaim their own power in their own unique way. I might be small in stature, but I stand tall in strength, purpose, and power with hopes of inspiring others to do the same. #fyp #abuse #miss #misskansas #missamerica #pageant #awareness #me #relationship #respect #tiktok

In the video shared on TikTok, the new Miss Kansas wrote, "Respect Reclaimed is about reclaiming your power and standing firmly in it. On the night of Miss Kansas, my journey took an unexpected turn when someone I have been healing from tried to disrupt my peace. Instead of falling into silence, I chose to live out my vision for a better world. I took back my power—not just for myself, but for my dreams and everyone watching and listening."

She wrote that it wasn't about shunning anyone, but about "turning our pain into purpose and channeling it in a way that unifies and uplifts."

"I’m ready to use my story, tools, and resources to end unhealthy relationships in all forms," she wrote. "My voice and advocacy will empower everyone to reclaim their own power in their own unique way.

I might be small in stature, but I stand tall in strength, purpose, and power with hopes of inspiring others to do the same."

@lexlex_smith

Bye bye #DV #RespectReclaimed #FYP #MissKansas #Shoot #photography #photoshoot #TikTok

People who have experienced abuse themselves applauded her advocacy.

"As a victim of domestic violence I applaud you for speaking out!! I watched this 10 times!! I’m still getting bullied by his parents even with a no contact order. I plan on helping women like us as well."

"WHAT A WOMAN. This is absolutely incredible. From one survivor to another, I am SO SO proud of you for reclaiming this moment for yourself. You will do amazing things🫶🏽🫶🏽"

"Incredibly brave of you. You just made a statement for all women. I appreciate you so much."

abusive relationships, domestic violence, unhealthy relationshipLove shouldn't hurt.Photo credit: Canva

"As an old survivor…I’m so damn PROUD OF YOU!! Love, A Stranger💚"

"We got to see you ACTIVELY showcasing your platform LIVE IN PERSON! My utmost respect to you Miss Alexis. This is beyond any crown, I cannot wait to watch your journey. As someone who grew up around domestic violence, I have chills watching you. You will always have a supporter in me.💖 You absolutely ate that. 👑"

"YAS GIRL! As a fellow survivor, you are an inspiration and I’m so proud of you for using your voice and showing your strength."

""I experienced emotional and psychological abuse for a very long time," Smith shared with KMUW, "and it was recognizing that I was losing control over my own personal emotions, trying to save the emotions of someone else, and so to be able to save myself. I recognize that we don't want to both go down together. I need to be able to leave this relationship. That way, I'm able to pursue a future, because you just never know what can happen to your partner or happen to yourself when you're in those relationships."

According to The Wichita Eagle, Smith uses her 19 years of experience as a ventriloquist to teach kids about healthy relationships with puppets as part of her Reclaimed Respect initiative. She also works full-time as a cardiothoracic ICU nurse.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Learning

How Japanese introductions literally translate to English is a wild linguistics lesson

"First time! I'm Under the Forest."

Photo by Satoshi Hirayama/Pexels

Greetings in Japanese sound quite odd when literally translated to English.

Studying a language other than your own native tongue is always a trip. Wrapping your head around completely different grammar and syntax rules, trying to create sounds your mouth isn't used to, sometimes learning entirely new alphabets (or characters when there is no alphabet), all just to be able to communicate with more of your fellow human beings. (Seriously, when are we going to decide on an actual universal language?)

Linguistics is wild, as evidenced by certified Japanese teacher Hikari's video demonstrating what Japanese introductions would sound like if they were translated literally into English.

One of the first greetings you learn in Japanese is "hajimemashite," which is generally interpreted as "Nice to meet you," or "How do you do"—something you say when you meet someone. But the literal meaning of the phrase is "at the beginning" or "first time," which of course sounds odd in English. (Similarly to if you were to literally translate "How's it going?" from English to another language, the understood meaning of "How are you feeling right now?" wouldn't come through, since the words "it' and "going" have nothing to do with how you're feeling.)

Then there are name introductions, which seem like they should just be straight up names, but aren't because of what they mean. "I'm Under the Forest." "I'm Inside the Field." Huh? And wait til you see how they share their ages. Watch:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

To make things a little clearer, the name "Under the Forest" is almost certainly Morishita, a common last name in Japan (Japanese people generally introduce themselves by last name). The translation "under the forest" comes from Chinese characters used in Japanese, Kanji, that most Japanese last names are written in. Morishita is 森下 in Kanji, with 森 (mori) meaning "forest" and 下 (shita) meaning "below" or "under." "Inside the Field" would be the name Tanaka, with a similar explanation, but with different characters.

As far as ages go, that's a whole other cultural quirk. In Japan, time is separated into imperial eras based on whoever the emperor is, and each era has a name. "Shining harmony 63" means she was born in 1989, or the 63rd year of the Shōwa ("shining harmony") era. Moons are months, and days are, well, days.

Japan, eras, calendar, moons, days, timeImperial eras of time. Canva Photos.

Japan is the only country where Japanese is an official language, but thanks to the tech boom there in the 80s and 90s—and the rise of the popularity of anime worldwide—the Japanese language has seen continually growing interest outside the archipelago nation. According to Brittanica, there are around 127 million Japanese speakers worldwide, with some 1.5 million Japanese immigrants (and their descendants) living in parts of North and South America with "varying degrees of proficiency in Japanese."

anime, popular anime, sailor moon, watching anime, japanesesailor moon walking GIFGiphy

(Side note: Having studied Japanese myself, I can attest that it's a very fun language to learn. The alphabets and Kanji are the hardest parts—the phonetics are consistent and the grammar is quite logical, with far fewer exceptions to the rules than English.)

In addition to videos like this one, Hikari offers Japanese lessons on her YouTube channel, Japanese with Hikari. You can also sign up for her newsletter, chock full of motivational posts, encouragement, and resources to keep subscribers motivated to learn Japanese.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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