Heroes

How you're likely using 1 of these 3 reasons to not totally freak out about dying someday

It's hard to be aware of our own mortality. I think deep down, a lot of us hope there will be a miracle and somehow we'll live forever. Maybe the solution isn't finding a cure to death but changing the way we look at it.

From an early age, we become acutely aware of our own mortality, knowing that everyone we know and love will one day die.

This awareness is enough to plague the average person with a lifetime of anxiety, yet most of us are able to wade through the world without becoming totally paralyzed by fear of death.

During his 2012 keynote speech at the Festival of Dangerous Ideas, philosopher Jason Silva offered up a mix of harsh truth and hope to his audience.

Silva's address focused on the three "solutions" to what he dubbed "the death problem," as outlined by the late philosopher and author Ernest Becker in his 1973 book, "The Denial of Death":


  1. Religion
  2. Romance
  3. Creativity

The first solution, the religious solution, is an age-old approach to dealing with impending death. In the religious solution, one manages their mortal anxiety by believing that once their life ends on earth, they will be granted an eternal afterlife in the kingdom of God.

The second solution, the romantic solution, exists in, as Silva notes, "the lyric of every pop song." This coping mechanism exists by propping up our loved ones as their own sort of deities. That is, we ascribe to them characteristics beyond that of humans. "She's like the sun" or "she is my wind" are examples of how we accomplish this. Sadly, Silva explains, this solution tends to lose its effectiveness when we're reminded of our loved ones' own mortality.

To Silva, the creative choice is the closest option humanity has to being an infinite solution. This option takes the form of both the arts and technology. Arts allow us to "solve" the death problem — we can create works that outlive our bodies. Technology, through the constant evolution and improvement, can extend physical life, to preserve old memories, transcending space and time.

Silva closes his speech with a quote from Alan Harrington, urging his audience to keep evolving and looking to the creative solution.

Watch a short video containing excerpts from Silva's speech below:

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower:

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Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


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TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.

One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

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