upworthy
Family

Here are 13 of the 'most surprising' things people learned after getting divorced

"The person you married is not the same person you divorce."

divorce, reddit, divorce lessons
via Cottonbro studio/Pexels

A couple is having a hard time in therapy.

Studies show that after the death of a spouse, getting a divorce is the second most stressful life event a person can have. It’s even worse than going to jail or losing one’s job.

Going through a divorce can be incredibly stressful because it involves significant changes in nearly every aspect of life. The process can feel overwhelming, from emotional upheaval and legal complexities to financial adjustments and parenting challenges. It often means redefining personal identity and future plans, which requires time, patience and support from loved ones to navigate successfully.

However, there can be many positive sides to getting a divorce, the biggest being able to get away from someone who is causing you grief. It can also be a means of escaping a tough financial situation or distancing yourself from toxic in-laws.

Getting divorced can also open the door for some much-needed personal change.

A Redditor who goes by BondEmilyBond asked divorced people on the AskReddit subforum, “What's the most surprising thing you learned from getting divorced?” Many people were happily surprised by some of the lessons they learned from getting divorced and the positive outcomes they never expected.

While the post could have easily turned dour, many shared that getting a divorce allowed them to grow in ways they never expected. The separation was also an opportunity for many of their spouses to grow as well.

Here are 13 of the “most surprising” things people learned from getting a divorce.

1. "The person you married is not the same person you divorce." — Royal_Arachnid_2295

"Very true! One thing I learned getting divorced fairly young (33) was that we only have one life, you have to make sure you’re happy. Marriage was not the partnership I expected, especially after having kids. I was doing the majority of the household work while also doing the majority of the childcare and working full time. I suddenly realized this couldn’t be the rest of my life. And things are so much better now." — Klopije

2. Sometimes, everyone needs to change

"How I DID need to change certain parts of myself and my life, but I was not the entire problem in our marriage." — Ughfinethisusername

3. "I expected to be heartbroken but mostly just felt relieved." — Oddwithoutend

"What is worst than being alone? Wishing you were alone." — AnnatoniaMac

"When the time came for me to spend my first night in my shi**y apartment, I unlocked the door, walked in, sat down on my couch, turned on my TV and then it hit me: No matter what I did that night, nobody was going to yell at me. And I felt so much relief in that moment, I was free and I didn't even realize that I hadn't been. I came to love that shitty apartment. My daughter and I lived there for three years (she's with me 50% of the time) and those were three of the happiest years of my life." — Spcoalpresense

4. You're never completely rid of your ex

"Not from my experience, but having children with your ex means you're not really rid of them, ever. They will always be around unless the children choose to remove themselves from their lives at some point. That includes the extended family, too, so it's a package deal at every event. It's not like they magically go away after the kids turn 18, though you do get to deal with them a little less." — Magicrowantree

"This is true, but I learned that it's much, much, much easier to be divorced with kids than it is to be unhappily married with kids." — Rusty0123

5. "I felt even more lonely when I was married." — bunbunzinlove

"First husband and I went to see 'The Misfits,' the 1961 Marilyn Monroe, Clark Gable movie at the vintage movie house. At the very beginning, she's getting a Nevada divorce, and tells her husband: 'If I'm going to be alone, I want to be by myself.' He doesn't realize it, but that was a turning point in our marriage; that line floored me." — Flahdgal

6. Lawyers are expensive

"Sometimes you have to pay them to be able to communicate with someone you’re not able to communicate with." — Youngest_Syndrome_78

"Your lawyer is as expensive as your relationship was terrible/you or your ex is stubborn." — Youngest_Syndrome_78

7. Being alone is freedom

"How content I could be on my own. Never having to compromise throughout the mundane moments because you are living alone is very freeing." — Independent_Sunshine

"You know what I feel when I walk into my small divorce apartment? Peace! Blessed peace. No one's criticizing me. I'm not responsible for someone else's disappointing life choices. I am not his rage sponge, anymore. Goodbye, McMansion in the suburbs. Don't miss you." — Kit3399

8. The stress can be unbearable

"You can almost die from grief and disappointment." — HeartofGold48

"During one of our last fights, I fainted, fell backward on the concrete floor, and got a concussion and MRI. Apparently, stress can do that. The physical impact of divorce is something I never expected." — Haunting_Cattle2138

9. True love is awesome

"Pretty much how awesome life can be with a caring, kind, supportive spouse. I had no idea how bad I had it until the old one abandoned ship, and I met the true love of my life." — Relax-Enjoy

"This is so true. If you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time, experiencing real love is just astounding." — InactiveUser247

10. Unhealthy can be normalized

"You know, I remember at one point in my marriage thinking 'I guess this is just how it works.' After being unhappy for so long, it just seemed like the normal. But I've definitely found out that no, it's not how it works! A relationship can be happy and supportive, without you feeling like you have to do all the work!" — Anothercrockett

"Same. I put my emotional and physical needs on a shelf, just chalking it up as 'my lot'. The rest of my life was great (kids, family, friends, house, money, pool)... It wasn't until she dropped the D-word on me at the beginning of the year that I let my feelings of neglect out." — IBSeanB

11. You're more attractive than you thought

"How many men I knew that wanted to date me lol." — OK_Acanthistta5022

"My current partner also had this realization. The moment her separation became public then certain 'friends' were circling. She was still of the opinion that women can have truly platonic male friends, which they can, but the majority I believe have other motives." — LordBiscuits

12. Couples are great at putting on a facade

"When I got a divorce, it turns out it was the beginning of a spree of divorces in my neighborhood among my friends. In a 2 year period, 5 couples I knew in my neighborhood got divorces. All of them, to a tee, were couples that I thought were very happily married. It sparked a lot of frank and open conversations among me and my newly-divorced friends about marriage, relationships and goings-on that I had never had before. Turns out I was living a really dull and sheltered life. I was astonished at how much infidelity was going on, for example. There were shenanigans going on everywhere. ... So the takeaway for me was, couples can be very good at putting on a fake front of happiness." — framptal_tromwibbler

13. You can still be friends

"You can still be mates. It's not all 'burn your ex to the ground' sh**e. It is perfectly possible to get on with everyone (including in-laws). Sometimes marriages just do not work out." — CarpetGripperRod

"Plus, the new partner can actually be pretty ace! She’s wonderful to my kids and has always treated me with nothing but love and respect. My kids come first and I can’t see any downside to them having more love in their lives." — Substantial-Land-248

From Your Site Articles
relationships
Badge
Subaru
Subaru
Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

More smiles, more (happy) tears.

This week's happy things include saving the environment, sibling love, and the most incredible birdcalls you've ever heard.

True

Wanna know what we’re thankful for this week? The Internet. It truly is a gift that keeps on giving us the best of humanity every single week—and Thanksgiving week is no exception. Check out these five things we’ve found that are guaranteed to make you smile (and maybe even shed a few happy tears).

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This kid's incredible knack for birdcall

@diabetic4one This is Samuel’s bird call performance at his schools talent show. He loved every minute of this #autism #birder #fypage #talent #agt ♬ original sound - lori

We dare you to find a better impressionist than ten-year-old Samuel Henderson, this ten year old student from Oklahoma City. Samuel, who has autism, has mastered over 50 different bird calls and performed several of them at his school’s talent show recently. These calls were so accurate that scientists at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology reached out to Samuel and invited him to their lab to study birds. We couldn't be happier for him. (Also the way he throws these birds over his shoulder when he’s done with them—perfection.)

2. Protecting America's most treasured places.

Subaru Share the Love Event and National Park Foundation

Good news for national parks! As the largest corporate donor to the National Park Foundation, Subaru has protected over 400 national parks throughout the Subaru Share the Love Event. What’s more, Subaru and its retailers will donate a minimum of $300 to charities like the National Park Foundation, helping preserve and protect the national parks for future generations.

3. This adorable brother-sister dance.

When six-year-old Harper couldn’t find a partner for her dance studio’s annual summer showcase, her 14-year-old brother Micah stepped in to save the day. The two performed an adorable “Barbie and Ken” themed routine, complete with an adorable fist bump and a lift. What a gentleman.

4. A high school football team cheers on the band kids.

Cue the happy tears: A group of football players at American Fork High School in Utah showed up to cheer on the band kids at a recent competition. Their coach, Aaron Behm, encouraged his team to start showing up to support after noticing a divide between the football players and the marching band. In an interview with Today.com, Behm said, “They come and play at our games and provide an awesome environment, and they deserve our support.” Now that’s sportsmanship.

5. This heartfelt exchange between neighbors

This neighborly exchange captured on camera doorbell footage is the perfect antidote for everyone who’s been feeling like the country is seriously divided lately. On her way to a Muslim funeral, one neighbor stopped by her Muslim neighbor’s house for advice on what to wear. Not only does the Muslim neighbor give her a demonstration on how to wrap her headscarf in real time, the neighbor lets the woman keep the item. Beautiful.

For more reasons to smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

From Your Site Articles
uplifting
Joy

Dog owner dressed up as dog's favorite toy and his reaction was seriously adorable

The life-sized Mr. Quackers was almost too much joy for Charlie to handle.

Charlie the Golden 18/YouTube

Charlie the golden retriever got to experience a life-sized Mr. Quackers and it was sheer joy.

The first thing you need to know about Charlie the golden retriever is that he loves Mr. Quackers. Mr. Quackers is Charlie's stuffed yellow duck. Charlie carries him around everywhere, he loves him so.

@charliethegolden18

I always so happ to see my lil bro 😋 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever





Anyone who's had a dog with a favorite stuffy knows that it's a bit like a child with a favorite stuffy. As long as the stuffy is there, all is well. If stuffy goes missing, all hell breaks loose. Nobody take the stuffy away. Nobody lose the stuffy. Nobody mess with the stuffy.

Where they go, their stuffy goes.

Where Charlie goes, Mr. Quackers goes.

That's just the way it is.

@charliethegolden18 Happens every..single..time 😂🙈 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever ♬ Quirky - Oleg Kirilkov

The attachment is real. Watch what happens when Charlie's buddy Buddy tries to mess with Mr. Quackers.

@charliethegolden18

Ain’t nobody touching my Mr. Quackers 😋 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

"There, see it!" Oh, Charlie. His love for Mr. Quackers is unrivaled, which is why his owner decided to pull an incredible pet prank and dress up as Mr. Quackers himself.

@charliethegolden18

When your husband finds a costume that looks identical to your dogs favorite duck toy 😂 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

The things we do for our dogs, indeed.

And when Charlie got to meet the life-sized Mr. Quackers? So. Much. Joy.

@charliethegolden18

Dressed up as our dogs favorite duck toy. Full video on FB & YouTube. Link in bio. #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

Charlie practically wagged his tail right off his body. And he never let go of the original Mr. Quackers the whole time—at least on TikTok.

The extended video on YouTube shows Charlie dropping Mr. Quackers and trying to get a hold of Huge Mr. Quackers by the neck. Not in an aggressive way—more like in a "Hey, lemme carry you around like I do Mr. Quackers!" kind of way.

And then the slow discovery that Huge Mr. Quackers smells an awful lot like his hooman … just too precious.

Animals can bring such joy to our lives, especially when we take the time to play with them. Thanks, Charlie's parents, for sharing this moment of adorable delight with us all.

Follow more of Charlie and Mr. Quackers' adventures on TikTok and YouTube.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Joy

A new study found this flirting strategy to be the most effective, regardless of your looks

It's science!

via Pexels

A couple enjoying a glass of wine.

In the 1988 Disney classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” the titular character is in an unlikely relationship with his voluptuous wife Jessica. Roger is a frantic, anxious rabbit with a penchant for mischief, while Jessica is a quintessential ’40s bombshell who stands about a foot and a half taller and isn’t “bad,” just “drawn that way.”

When private investigator Eddie Valiant asked Jessica what she sees in “that guy?” she replies, “He makes me laugh.” This type of couple may seem like something we only see in the movies, but don’t underestimate the power of humor when it comes to attractiveness. A new study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that being humorous is the most effective way to flirt for both men and women.

“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person's jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both sexes,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology's (NTNU) Department of Psychology.

“It is not only effective to be funny, but for women, it is very important that you show your potential partner that you think they are funny,” Rebecca Burch, a co-author from SUNY Oswego in New York, added.

Unfortunately, this study was only conducted on heterosexual couples.

For men, showing off their sense of humor was found to be the most effective way to flirt whether they were looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. For women, being funny was the most effective tactic when looking for a long-term relationship. For people looking for a short-term fling, appearing available was the most effective tactic.

According to the study, humor is effective regardless of one's attractiveness. “Individual differences in age, religiosity, extroversion, personal attractiveness and preferences for short-term sexual relationships had little or no effect on how effective respondents considered the various flirting tactics to be,” says study co-author Prof. Mons Bendixen.

If you see someone you like but don’t think you’re good-looking enough for them, give it a shot. You may still have a chance if you can make ’em laugh.

The most effective tactics for those looking for a long-term relationship:

For women:

1. Makes him laugh

2. Shows interest in conversations

3. Spends time with him

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Kisses on mouth

For men:

1. Makes her laugh

2. Spends time with her

3. Shows interest in conversations

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Smiles

The study is proof that looks aren’t everything and shows that having a good sense of humor isn’t just about making someone laugh. A great sense of humor is evidence that someone is intelligent, wise, perceptive, confident, can see things from new perspectives and has good intuition. It also helps people quickly build bonds and share experiences, which is a great way to get close to someone in a fast and fun way.

So why wouldn’t Jessica be with Roger? The guy is hilarious.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
relationships
Pop Culture

Waxers, nurses and doctors share what they're really thinking about your 'privates.'

You're probably not as special or weird as you think.

Unsplash

Body dysmorphia really knows no bounds. We tend to think of insecurities as focusing on things like the flatness of our stomachs or the size of our noses. But perhaps the thing that people are most self-conscious about is the thing we actually talk about the least.

According to one study, about 30% of men are "dissatisfied" with the size, shape, or appearance of their penis. That number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vaginas. A survey done by Refinery29 showed that almost half of women had "concerns" about the appearance of their vulva.

The numbers say anywhere from a third to a half or more of all people think there's something wrong with the way our private parts look. Which begs the question: If we all think we're weird, is anybody really weird at all?

A fascinating Reddit thread recently polled experts on this very topic; people who tend to see an awful lot of genitals in their line of work: Waxing technicians, or estheticians. The responses were oddly... inspiring.

The prompt asked, "Waxers, how often are you surprised by how a clients genitals look?"

Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. As did doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and lots of other pros who work closely with people's unmentionables.

Here are a few of the best responses:

Laura Woolf/Flickr



Gonna chime in as a doctor - and I would imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. WE. DONT. CARE. And in my case I would be surprised if you’d show me something I’ve never seen before. - feelgoodx

I use to be very self conscious and insecure about my genitals. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Just clean yourself before coming in. - Wild-Clementine

Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every single day I work, often multiple, and frequently about 3 feet from my face with a spotlight on it lol. Not much surprises me. Most are out of my memory by the time they're clothed or covered up. When it comes to genitals you want to be unremarkable. - tlotd

Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work. - Important-Tackle

never. i have seen it all. scars, hyperpigmentation, unevenness; none of it surprises me. just please wash yourself before coming to me. - pastelmorning

Nothing surprises me, I'm mostly just focusing on the hair, but i do have a client who has a tuft of hair on the underside of his shaft near the tip of his penis we call his downstairs soul patch. - noorisms

Two big takeaways:

First, outside of obvious mutilations or pathologies, nothing stands out to people who are extremely knowledgable about genitals. Differences in size, shape, and structure are totally normal and barely even register on the radar!

Second, no matter what you look like down there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends far beyond the borders of the esthetician's office!

Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can be.

gourd and white tape measure on blue surface Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

It's bizarre and tragic that unrealistic beauty standards actually effect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing anxiety about the way their genitals look.

Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively impacted by bad self-image and anxiety over the way they look naked. When the shame is really bad, it can hold them back in relationships, or even stop them from seeking them in the first place.

Fear of being judged or humiliated can stop women in particular from, not just going in for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist or asking potentially-embarrassing but critical and life-saving health questions.

If you've ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from the people who have seen hundreds if not thousands of genitals up close and personal, in the most unflattering lighting and from the worst angles possible: You're totally normal!

women
Pets

Kitten named Duck, learns run on two feet and she looks like an adorable velociraptor

It hasn't slowed her down one bit.

Purrasic Duck|Instagram

Cat learns to run on two feet after front leg amputations

Babies are really adaptable. The same can be said for baby animals and it's likely because they just don't know any other way of life so they just go with it. But even knowing that, it's still hard to imagine a kitten getting around with no front legs.

Cats essentially use everything from their whiskers to their tails to balance, so how would one walk without two of it's four legs? The answer is, carefully at first. Duck is a kitten that had to have both of her front legs completely amputated after she was rescued and while she was wobbly at first, she quickly adapted.

Duck's human, Cody shares her daily shenanigans on his Instagram page aptly named Purrasic Duck. But recently he told Duck's story to The Dodo revealing her rescue story and the kitten's quick moves. If you're having a hard time picturing a two-legged cat on the run, it looks a lot like a furry velociraptor chasing a laser pointer.

"I ended up naming her Duck because she kinda waddled. She'd kinda take it slow, she waddled trying to figure out her balance," Cody tells The Dodo.

Before long though, Duck was off to play with her much larger dog brothers. Her pug brother even offers her a little assistance in the face cleaning area since Duck doesn't have paws to do it herself. No worries, she returns the favor by cleaning his face too. It's an adorable relationship but if you want to see a furry velociraptor chase after cat toys, you'll need to watch the video below.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
cat named duck
Kids

Teachers share how different students are in 2024 than when they first started teaching

So many teachers got brutally honest about the struggles they've been facing in the classroom.

Photo credit: Canva

Things have changed. And not necessarily for the better.

The country is experiencing a major teacher burnout right now, and has been for quite a while. Obviously, COVID only exacerbated issues that were already present. But beyond dealing with grossly low wages, a neverending list of extra responsibilities and battling against phones for attention…there’s a more existential shift in students that’s making teachers become both disillusioned with their vocation, and concerned about this younger generation.

Recently, someone considering becoming a teacher asked other more experienced educators on Reddit to share "biggest difference you see in kids from the time you started teaching to right now in 2024?" The responses offer a bluntly candid glimpse of some of the challenges faced in schools today—but there are also some positive nuggets thrown in.

Below are some of the top answers.

1. "Level of curiosity... [it's] almost non-existent today. When I started in the '90s, there were always a handful of students in every class that wanted to know 'Why?' but in recent years, it's either 'Just tell me the answer' or 'Who cares? Just mark it wrong.'"—u/Pretend_Screen_5207

2. "I can't show movies or videos anymore because it is all boring to them. It is boring because they have Netflix on their phone and they can watch whatever they want at any time. It isn't special to watch a movie. "—u/Ferromagneticfluid

3. "Fine motor skills seems to be way down. I teach instrumental music, and kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."

classroom, kids" Kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."Photo credit: Canva

—u/eagledog

4. "A huge difference I’ve noticed is it is becoming disturbingly common for parents to explicitly tell their kids that they don’t have to follow school rules. Students are always so smug about it when they say that their mom gave them permission, and then equally enraged when they still receive the related consequence because mom doesn’t make the rules at school…Absolutely could never have been me when I was a student, and this was not a thing when I first started teaching. But this kind of attitude has grown increasingly more common every year."

—u/kaelhawh

5. "Kids just seem dumber overall. Could be the area I teach in, but basic math and literacy skills have constantly trended downward here. We keep lowering the bar for interventions because we don't have enough spots if half the school needs math and reading support.” —u/Baidar85

6. "Year 22 starts in July. I don't know if I can put it in words, but there's an air that little children have: it's a combination of silliness, joy, fearlessness, creativity, curiosity, imagination, and sweetness. Occasionally some naughtiness creeps in but it's all very innocent...I've taught K-1 most of my career and while many little kids still have all of these qualities, it's astonishing how many kids don't. You hand them a piece of paper and they say, 'I don't know what to draw,' or 'I don't like to color. You put on a silly dancing song and they not only refuse to stand up, they sit there whining 'This is BORING.' The water during science turns blue and they say 'Whatever.'


teachers, teaching"They've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions."Photo credit: Canva

I think they're growing up too fast... They're afraid of looking silly or getting dirty or drawing attention to themselves by asking a question. They'd rather be on their phones more than anything in the whole wide world, but since they're at school, a Chromebook will do. If they're asked to do something challenging or ‘boring' they'll run to the counselor to complain about their big feelings so they can get access to a screen to 'calm down.' My kids are 5 to 8, generally, and they've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions." —u/azemilyann26

7. "I’ve moved schools so I’m gonna have a rare opinion; they got much better in every area possible. Smarter, kinder, more respectful, self-aware, less entitled."—u/swift-tom-hanks

8. "I just finished year 34, all in upper elementary and middle school. Back in the day, I'd have one or two kids in a class who didn't give a flying f**k and who did literally nothing. Now it can be a third of the class. It's mind-blowing. I will have several assignments over the course of a trimester where less than half of the class will get the thing done and turned in. Nearly every assignment will have a couple of kids who write their names on it and then turn in blank pieces of paper."

—u/DerbyWearingDude

9. "I've been in early childhood [education] for 10 years now, [and] was a sub for about five years before that. What I've noticed since COVID is a profound lack of social skills. Not just a lack of curiosity or emotional dysregulation, which I've seen in spades, but an inability to play or talk or cooperate with other kids. Each kid is their own little island and they have zero interest in visiting other islands. "I've literally had to teach 5-year-olds how to play basic 'toss the ball' games or work together to build a wall of blocks' whereas before, they would be coming up with wacky 'Calvinball' type games on their own and pulling everyone under four feet tall into the game with barely any effort. Now, I might as well be trying to teach them physics in Klingon."

—u/the_owl_syndicate

10. "Their handwriting is…comically big, completely illegible, letters not formed correctly, not within lines/margins if it's on loose leaf paper - straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high...Sometimes I feel so frustrated at them not getting incredibly basic art concepts and techniques, such as copying a similar value/line/angle or whatever, then realize they can't even write a letter 'g 'correctly, and it makes sense."

handrwiting for kids, kids development"Their handwriting is…straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high."Photo credit: Canva

—u/_crassula_

11. "The maturity level has been reduced about three or four years since I started in 1990."—u/Felixsum

12. "As an English as a foreign language teacher, here's a positive one: the internet/phones/tablets have made English accessible for EVERYONE. "Even in countries like Egypt where the parents speak no English at all, I'm noticing their kids have a great base level just from playing on their phones. It's pretty cool! Even young kids know quite a bit now."

—u/Accomplished-War1971

13. "When I sub, I rarely see students reading books or drawing for fun (even in art class); they mostly use their laptops/phones to listen to videos or play games…But even more baffling are the ones who are told to put devices away [and] just sit in complete and total silence and do nothing but stare at the desk the entire class. They don't do worksheets, they don't do homework, they don't draw; nothing."—u/Seamilk90210

14. "Been teaching middle school for 12 years. Kids are now testing lower than ever. I’d say I have around 10-15 middle schoolers that are testing at a 1st-3rd grade level. Students also lack the ability to be resourceful and persevere. They give up the moment something gets too difficult."

why teachers quit"They give up the moment something gets too difficult."Photo credit: Canva

—u/TraditionalSteak687

15. "At the start of my career, on days leading up to and day of an assessment, my mornings would be absolutely devoured by students seeking extra help. Like, a full hour before the first bell I'd be circulating around answering questions and I would have to make a turn order and consolidate kids who had the same questions. Last three or so years? Absolutely silent. One kid might come in and ask me one question they didn't really need to ask and just want some reassurance."—u/enigma7x

…and let's end with a sweet one to remember it's not all terrible...

16. "28 years of experience... It's genuine kindness. Kids are so much more kind now than they were when I started in the '90s. They are so accepting of kids of different races, gender identities, [and] intellectual differences like autism. 'Accepting' isn't even a strong enough word. Kids [who] would be in such different social circles due to peer pressure in the '90s are friends now. I'm a straight white guy [who] was in high school in the '80s. I wish I was brave enough then to be as kind as kids are now.I have plenty of complaints about phone addiction or the inability to multiply 5x4 without a calculator, but this is the most kind generation of students I've ever taught." —u/scfoothills


This article originally appeared in August.

From Your Site Articles
teachers
Trending Stories