Ever wonder how kids with autism see the world? That’s all it may take to understand them.

This article originally appeared on 02.19.16 At one of the worst points, she was banging her head on the floor and the walls of her bedroom, raging and crying. And I was doing the same because I just didn’t know what else to do anymore. Something had triggered a full-on, pupil-dilated tantrum for my then-3-year-old,…

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This article originally appeared on 02.19.16

At one of the worst points, she was banging her head on the floor and the walls of her bedroom, raging and crying.

And I was doing the same because I just didn’t know what else to do anymore.

Something had triggered a full-on, pupil-dilated tantrum for my then-3-year-old, Emma, complete with hair-pulling and biting — both herself and me.


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That’s Emma around age 3. That sweet kid having a meltdown? HEARTBREAKING, let me tell you. All photos by Tana Totsch-Kimsey, used with permission.

Feeling just as helpless as I had the last dozen times this happened, I ticked down a mental checklist: Weird food? Wrong clothes? Too hot? Loud sounds? Missing toy? She fitfully stripped down to nothing, finally signaling to me that yes, it was the jammies. She curled up next to me (me, still sobbing) and promptly fell asleep, quiet and stark naked with brilliantly red-purple bruises blooming on her arms.

This is autism. Or one form of it anyway. It has many, many ways of showing itself.

It can be both good and bad. I’ll get to the good.

Fully known as autism spectrum disorder, it’s a neurodevelopmental quirk that results in various shades of social and behavioral issues. One of the most common challenges across the spectrum is communicating with others; people with autism struggle with the give-and-take flow of conversation, understanding how to interact with others, and processing their own or other people’s feelings. They may even seem lost in their own world or unable to express their thoughts or emotions either verbally or nonverbally.

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“Lost in their own world” often looks like this. We took over 100 pictures on family picture day, and this was the only useable one.

I have a non-autistic child, too. She’s five years older than Emma, and I remember my biggest frustration as a brand-new parent was that I just wished she could tell me what she needed. And it wasn’t long before she did: “Mama” quickly became “I have this?” and “Don’t like that” and “I can do it myself” and — now — “Oh-em-gee, Mom, get out of my room, please, GOD, ugh!” She’s 10; it’s fun. She cracks jokes, she rails against gender biases, and she’s lined up for honors classes.

But when Emma came along next with an incessant buzz of energy — ripping pages from books presumably for the feel of it, climbing and jumping off tall things presumably for the thrill of it, eating rocks and grass (and just about anything really) presumably for the taste of it — and all of it without being able to tell me anything at all about what she needed … it took me a long while to understand that autism is not me being terrible at parenting.

What I learned is that Emma calls for a different kind of parenting altogether.

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A typical day at home for us includes peanut butter smearing, cabinet scaling, mud eating, and paper ripping. It’s a little exhausting sometimes.

Progress actually happened when I let go of what was “wrong” with Emma and started figuring out what to do about it.

Emma was nearly 4 years old by the time she was given an official autism diagnosis. But when the panel of specialists finally handed over their “findings” of autism spectrum disorder after a particularly awful six-hour doctor appointment, I distinctly felt at that point (and still do) that I could not have cared less what they wanted to call it.

The moment of the diagnosis wasn’t a big deal to me because it didn’t really change anything. By then, Emma was already in speech and occupational therapy and going to preschool, and all of that was helping some. But the autism label did eventually lead us to a kind of therapy we hadn’t heard about before.

It’s called applied behavior analysis — ABA for short — and that has brought a lot of change.

Some doctors explain ABA as a reward system for when a child does something right, but it’s much more than that.

Behavioral scholars and autism experts date ABA treatments back to at least 1968, when a group of university researchers wrote in an introduction for the Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis that ABA interventions could benefit individuals and society.

The treatment is highly individualized, with analysts measuring specific behaviors for each patient, crafting trials to change variables in controlled environments for each patient, and evaluating outcomes for each patient. It’s used for both children and adults who have intellectual or developmental issues, and it can help them gain skills in language, socialization, and attention as well as in more educational areas, like reading and math.

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And this kid is gonna need more skills than taking selfies … although she’s quite amazing at them, IMO.

ABA is complex stuff. But put super simply, it’s empathy on an ultimate level.

It involves patiently observing and trying to understand what a person — often one who can’t fully communicate (or even necessarily process the things going on in the world) — feels and thinks.

ABA is putting yourself in that person’s place, realizing what is motivating them, and then tinkering with those behaviors using positive encouragement and reinforcement. These are “rewards” of a kind, but not necessarily tangible ones; Emma’s greatest motivators are hugs and kisses, high-fives, and tickles.

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And wagon rides. And a mom deciding that chewing on a piece of grass to satisfy a sensory need is not so terrible in the big picture.

Even though ABA isn’t a new treatment, it’s gaining attention recently because of how life-changing the empathetic perspective can be. Agencies like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institute of Mental Health (and several autism-research organizations) recognize ABA as an effective treatment for autism. Plus, access to ABA experts is expanding: Clinics with extensive ABA support and research existed mainly in larger cities for many years, but now services are being offered in places all over the country.

For me, an intensified effort to understand Emma through ABA, and to help her understand her world, changed everything.

She’s almost 6 years old now, and these days, she charms just about everyone she meets. She’s still mischievous and daring, but she also runs into a room and gives out hugs to everyone there. (Even strangers! It’s actually really awkward sometimes.)

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Seems like a small thing, but she sings about how Old MacDonald has a cow that moos. (You should hear “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman” … adorbs!)

She can pick out her own jammies and a book to be read and a toy to keep her hands busy and the perfect spot to cuddle while she winds herself down to sleep. She giggles and beeps noses and plays chase with the dog and likes to announce, “Happy Tuesday!” She’s even learning to read and write, which blows my mind when I think of those long nights spent banging heads on floors.

Emma still has autistic-meltdown fits, of course, but I get it now.

Even I have moments where I just can’t even. It’s really not that hard for any parent or person to relate to that. What’s great, though, is that I’ve noticed how people outside the ABA therapy world — teachers and family and even total strangers — use the therapy, sometimes without even realizing it.

They change how they do things to adapt to what it must seem like from Emma’s perspective, and that’s how they end up really connecting with her. I find myself, too, exercising those empathy muscles with people other than Emma, and it makes me wonder sometimes:

What if we all did?

  • ‘Tsundoku’: The 146-year-old Japanese word for your pile of unread books
    Tsundoku will change the way you think about your books.Photo credit: Canva
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    ‘Tsundoku’: The 146-year-old Japanese word for your pile of unread books

    Let’s take a look at that growing stack of books in your room. You know the one: the pile that seems to grow faster than you can read it. It might look like neglect, but it actually says something about your curiosity and hopefulness. Did you know there’s a Japanese word for this? It might…

    Let’s take a look at that growing stack of books in your room. You know the one: the pile that seems to grow faster than you can read it. It might look like neglect, but it actually says something about your curiosity and hopefulness. Did you know there’s a Japanese word for this? It might just change how you see your book pile from now on.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    A girl reads a book indoors. Photo credit: Canva

    Enter the world of “tsundoku” (積ん読). This Japanese term describes buying books you intend to read but end up stacking around your home. Unopened, unread and collecting dust—not mistreated, just waiting for the right time.

    The history behind the “Tsundoku Sensei”

    The word “tsundoku” comes from Japan’s Meiji era, a time when books and reading were becoming more popular. It combines “tsunde-oku,” which means to pile things up and leave them, with “dokusho,” which means “reading books.” The result is a word that perfectly captures an experience every book lover knows well.

    The earliest use of the word dates to a Japanese satirical text from 1879, notes bibliographer Mori Senzo. It described a teacher whose shelves were packed with unread books. The word was a gentle joke, carrying no malice—a connotation that remains today. Professor Andrew Gerstle adds that “tsundoku” still carries no stigma in Japan.

    Tsundoku vs. Bibliomania: A meaningful distinction

    Both “tsundoku” and “bibliomania” involve collecting books, but the reasons behind them are different.

    “Bibliomania” describes an excessive obsession with collecting books, often for their rarity, beauty, or the pleasure of owning them rather than for reading. A bibliomaniac focuses on obtaining desirable volumes—such as first editions or illustrated works—valuing the collection itself above the books’ contents.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    A woman reads on a train. Photo credit: Canva

    “Tsundoku,” on the other hand, is about wanting to read the books you buy, even if you haven’t gotten to them yet. Maybe you picked up a book because a friend recommended it or because something new caught your eye. The stack grows not out of obsession but out of the hope that you’ll read them all someday.

    That difference matters. A “tsundoku” pile isn’t just a collection; it’s a sign of your curiosity and your goals. It shows not only who you are but who you want to be.

    Your brain on “tsundoku

    So why do we keep buying books when we have a pile of them we haven’t read yet? The answer has a lot to do with how our brains work.

    Buying a new book triggers a dopamine release, the same neurochemical associated with anticipation. The pleasure hits the moment your credit card is swiped. Reading can wait, but “later” often never comes.

    Your unread books are like little promises to yourself. They represent the “aspirational self.” Each one is a version of you who has finally read Anna Karenina, finished The Secret Lives of Color, or learned something new from The Trauma of Everyday Life. That future self feels close, just waiting for you to catch up. So the pile grows, full of hope and possibility.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn more, even if your curiosity sometimes outpaces your reading speed. The desire for new ideas is a good thing.

    The “antilibrary” concept

    Italian novelist and philosopher Umberto Eco practiced a more extreme version of this habit. His personal library contained more than 30,000 books, most of which he hadn’t read. Eco celebrated it. He referred to his collection of unread books as an “antilibrary”—a clear reminder of all the knowledge he had yet to discover.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    Every unread book on your shelf is a little promise to yourself. Photo credit: Canva

    Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of The Black Swan, expanded on Eco’s idea of an antilibrary. He argued that you should maximize your library’s space by keeping books on topics you know little about. “Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary,” he says.

    An antilibrary is a “memento sciendi”—a representation of all you have yet to learn. Rather than a failure, a shelf of unread books signals intellectual humility: “I know what I don’t know and want to learn more.”

    Tsundoku” meets the modern world

    “Tsundoku” is now found far from Japan. The idea lives on in gaming culture, where players build libraries of unplayed games on platforms like Steam—sometimes dubbed “Steamdoku.” As cartoonist Ronnie Filyaw put it, “Tsundoku is collecting books you won’t read. Steamdoku is your Steam library.”

    Then there’s BookTok, TikTok’s beloved part of the Internet dedicated to all things literary. On BookTok, reading is a shared social experience. Creators turn the act of collecting books into engaging content, often filming their towering “to-be-read” (TBR) piles. Here, an unread stack becomes a form of individual expression and a way to connect with fellow book lovers.

    This digital domain has had a remarkable impact on the publishing world. NPD BookScan reports that a group of writers rule BookTok and have enjoyed lucrative rewards: 80 authors with large BookTok followings saw their collective sales more than double in one year, rising from nine million copies in 2020 to 20 million in 2021.

    The irony, of course, is that the gap between books bought and books read may be wider than ever. Despite the boom in book buying, reading is on the decline. A survey from the National Endowment for the Arts found that only 48.5% of American adults read at least one book in 2022. That’s a noticeable drop from 52.7% in 2017 and 54.6% in 2012. The numbers for fiction are even more stark, with just 37.6% of adults reading a novel in 2022—the lowest rate in the survey’s 30-year history.

    “Tsundoku” lives in the space between wanting to read and actually finding the time to do it. Life gets busy, but the desire to read and keep learning is always there. Your bookshelf is waiting, ready for you to choose a book and begin.

    Embracing “tsundoku” as an act of optimism

    Remember, every unread book on your shelf is a promise to your future self. Each perfect, unbent spine represents an inquisitiveness that hasn’t found its moment yet.

    At its core, “tsundoku” is about optimism. Every new book you buy shows you believe there will be time for new ideas. The world is full of stories, and there’s always more to learn.

    So the next time someone questions your growing stack of books, remember: there’s a name for your habit. Book lovers in Japan have used it for over a century. You’re not alone in believing that, one day, those books will be read.

    And if some books stay unread? That’s okay. The pile is still proof of your curiosity and your commitment to keep growing. “Tsundoku” is a sign of hope and the drive to learn, not a sign of failure.

  • When picking teams in gym class, a kid went rogue with who he chose first. It was life-changing.
    An act of kindness in gym class made a lasting impact.Photo credit: Canva
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    When picking teams in gym class, a kid went rogue with who he chose first. It was life-changing.

    Gym class may be the easiest class for some kids in school, but for others, it’s the roughest. For the not-athletically-inclined, P.E. can feel like torture, both physically and psychologically. Oliver Foit was one of the kids for whom gym class was fine. But he recognized that wasn’t the case for all. He shared a…

    Gym class may be the easiest class for some kids in school, but for others, it’s the roughest. For the not-athletically-inclined, P.E. can feel like torture, both physically and psychologically.

    Oliver Foit was one of the kids for whom gym class was fine. But he recognized that wasn’t the case for all. He shared a story about a gym class experience when he was 14 that he said changed the way he treated people for the rest of his life.

    “I remember I was in gym class and my teacher had chosen me to be one of the captains to pick teams for basketball,” he shared in an Instagram video. “And I remember I was getting ready to make my pick, and I was standing up in front of everyone. And before I did, I saw this girl that was sitting in the back of the class, and she usually got picked last. She was a little bit heavier set, wasn’t really super coordinated, wasn’t really into sports, which is fine. I called her name, and I remember she looked up and was like, ‘Me?’”

    Foit said his friend, the other captain, leaned over to him and asked, “Why’d you pick her?” Foit responded, “Why not?”

    The girl came up and stood right behind Foit. He told her to stand next to him since she was on his team.

    “She stood next to me, and I remember my friend was getting ready to pick whoever he was going to pick. And I remember she whispered something in my ear that I’ll never forget. She leaned over and said, ‘Are you sure?’ And it kind of hit me. I looked over at her, and I said, ‘Absolutely.’”

    A girl sits away from the group, appearing to be left out in gym glass
    Look around to see who might be feeling left out. Photo credit: Canva

    It was a rogue decision. Competition means picking the best athletes first, right? Everyone knows that. But this wasn’t an NBA coach choosing players for a professional sports team—it was P.E. class.

    From that moment on, Foit picked the kids who normally didn’t get picked to join his team. It paid off.

    “That gym class was one of the most fun gym classes I’ve ever had in my life,” Foit said. “Because I remember it wasn’t about trying to prove something or having your friends competing or anything like that. It was seriously about just having fun and including people…it was so fun. And I didn’t shoot one time, I was just passing the ball the whole time, and it was so fun.”

    That was his freshman year. Fast forward to graduation. After the ceremony, the girl from gym class four years earlier approached him and grabbed his arm.

    Two graduates talking to one another at graduation
    The impact of a kind act can last for years. Photo credit: Canva

    “She looked at me, and she said, ‘Oliver, I still remember when you picked me first when we played basketball in ninth grade.’ And I was like, ‘Really? I remember that too.’ And she’s like, ‘That was the only time I was picked first for anything in school.’ And that hit me really hard.”

    Years later, that act of kindness still meant something to her. Foit said he shared the story in the hope that it might inspire people to be kind and more aware of those around them.

    “It takes so little to be kind to someone, but it makes such a big impact on them,” he said. “Include people. That’s what the world’s about. It’s about including people and being kind to them.”

    A group of kids of different sizes and ages together holding basketballs
    Including everyone can have a lasting effect. Photo credit: Canva

    The story did inspire people, both from the perspective of someone who experienced the impact of being kind and from those on the receiving end of that kindness. Here’s what people are saying in the comments:

    “Being a good person is more rewarding and enriching than anyone could imagine. It is life changing for the person doing the deed as much as it is for the person it done for.”

    “You are so awesome. I was that girl in high school. I wish I knew someone like you then.”

    “In school, I was always picked last and bullied for just existing. After I broke out of that shell and gained confidence, I made it a point to make those still in their shells feel welcome & included. Thinking back, it’s amazing how sometimes it only takes one person to crack that shell.”

    “I was a skinny, sickly version of that girl. I remember kids arguing over who had to take me for PE. More than once, I was part of a 2-for-1 deal after all the other kids were picked. I’m 60, and I haven’t forgotten. Bless you, Oliver. ❤️”

    “As a girl who also was always picked last in school… thank you. I have no doubt that small gesture impacted and changed her in ways you’ll never know. ❤️”

    “From every ‘last picked in gym class’ kid, thank you. I guarantee you that she still thinks about this moment to this day. I know I would.”

    “This made me cry. I was always picked last. That would’ve changed my life if I was her.”

    “At my 30th reunion last summer, a woman walked up to me and hugged me tight. She said to her husband who I hadn’t yet met, that I was nice to her in high school. I was taken back for a moment bc she was this girl in the back of gym who was probably never chosen. I smiled and responded with ‘Of course. We were friends. You were so easy to love.’ We both cried. I hope your feed finds as many people as possible.”

    Even Katie Couric responded: “Okay Oliver. I love you. You’re so right. Pick the person who might get picked last. Go talk to the person at the dance who is alone and looks uncomfortable. Ask the new kid to sit at your table for lunch. Simple, seemingly small acts of kindness make a huge difference. You are going to be a successful human. ❤️”

    It was a simple but beautiful reminder of the power of a kind act. (And perhaps an indication that we should stop picking teams this way in gym class?)

    You can follow Oliver Foit on Instagram.

  • Man’s unexplained beef with the solar system is keeping people laughing and learning
    A grumpy man (left). The solar system (right). Photo credit: Canva
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    Man’s unexplained beef with the solar system is keeping people laughing and learning

    People are allowed to dislike whatever they want, but sometimes that comes with questions. Tyreak, who runs the Instagram account Tyreak Told You, has a peculiar beef that often leaves people laughing and scratching their heads. The New Yorker spends some of his free time disliking the universe, but the planets within our solar system…

    People are allowed to dislike whatever they want, but sometimes that comes with questions. Tyreak, who runs the Instagram account Tyreak Told You, has a peculiar beef that often leaves people laughing and scratching their heads. The New Yorker spends some of his free time disliking the universe, but the planets within our solar system take the brunt of his disdain.

    It’s unclear why he doesn’t like the planets, but he makes it his mission to roast them. No planet’s feelings are spared when Tyreak gets fired up about whatever new information he has just learned about them. His research into space and the deadpan delivery of his annoyance with the planets have people learning while laughing.

    solar system, angry, science, astronomy, education, funny
    The Sun and the planets. Photo credit: Canva

    Some planets in his crosshairs take a little more heat than others. Parents may want to preview any video before showing it to their child to take note of any profanity. In his amusing takedown of Jupiter, he uses colorful language while trying to figure out what happens to the planets Jupiter eats. Yes, scientists have discovered that the large planet may be expanding after consuming smaller planets. That news just didn’t sit right with the space critic.

    “Can you believe that Jupiter just gave me another reason to not like it? Look at this,” Tyreak says. “Jupiter may have grown by swallowing baby planets reveals a new study. I told y’all Jupiter was morbidly obese. Jupiter just overeats. Jupiter never gets full. You can’t satisfy Jupiter. Jupiter just eats everything around it. That’s why it’s so big. That’s why it looks like that. These are stretch marks.”

    He goes on to talk about the 95 moons orbiting Jupiter before asking whether the planet poops. A logical question after finding out it eats other planets. But don’t worry, other unsuspecting planets aren’t escaping his amusingly nonsensical ire for their existence.

    In another video, he petitions to exile Mercury from the solar system because it’s dead.

    “We shouldn’t have dead planets just rotting away in our solar system. Isn’t that like some type of health code violation?” Tyreak asks. “You have dead planets just chilling out in the solar system? Like, what does it smell like? Do you think Mercury smells worse than Saturn? Cause Saturn has a bunch of ammonia crystals, so that whole planet probably smells like pee.”

    He calls Saturn a “giant UTI” before moving on to explain Mercury’s distance from the Sun, the reason it may be shrinking, and information about its core.

    Commenters can’t get enough of his series about why he dislikes the planets and the universe as a whole.

    One person writes, “I love this series. It’s giving Tyreak DeGrasse Tyson.”

    Another person adds, “My dude got beef with the Galaxy.”

    “So Mercury is a planet but Pluto isn’t?? Feels racist somehow,” someone jokes.

    One person conjures a horrifying image of Jupiter, saying, “I bet you Jupiter’s mouth is that red super hurricane! It just sucks those planets in. Horrifying!”

    Jupiter is a honey badger, and honey badgers don’t care, says this person: “Jupiter is out here behaving like a Honey Badger.”

    Someone else is proving that Tyreak is educating viewers one annoyed planet video at a time: “I haven’t been this invested in science since Miss Frizzle and Bill NYE.”

    “Please never stop doing these. They bring me so much joy and laughter, for real,” one person swears. Another says the videos belong on TV: “This is PBS Science documentary worthy commentary.”

  • Why Millennials are the last generation to know celebrity icons from before their own time
    Whitney Houston and a confused young woman.Photo credit: tm_10001 vIa Flickr
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    Why Millennials are the last generation to know celebrity icons from before their own time

    “They’re not woken up at 7 am on a Saturday morning to clean and listen to Anita Baker and it shows.”

    A trend has emerged on social media that has older generations questioning what is happening. Someone will go to a college campus and ask students to name a celebrity icon. The celebrity is usually from a culturally classic movie, TV show, or a musician who crosses generational lines.

    In every instance, very few students, if any, get it right. From Whitney Houston to John Ritter, Gen Z struggles to name the person they’re seeing.

    A man who goes by the name Adivunsolicited on Instagram has a theory about why Gen Z doesn’t know pop culture from before they were born. He believes this is something unique to the younger generation. Many people from older generations recognize musicians and actors from their parents’ generation and earlier.

    Whitney Houston, pop culture, music, Gen Z, Millennials, generations
    A woman shrugging against a pink background. Photo credit: Canva

    The man shows a viral clip of college students being shown a photo of Whitney Houston. None of the students guessed the correct celebrity. Guesses swung wildly from Alicia Keys to Prince, but none came close to naming the iconic singer.

    “Imagine not knowing one of the vocal trinity, Whitney Houston,” the man says. “Ask a Millennial to name a band from the ’60s, you’ll probably hear The Beatles, Marvin Gaye or Aretha Franklin without hesitation. Ask us to name classic films, we might say The Godfather or Star Wars. Classic TV? Living Single, Friends, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Now ask a Gen Z, a lot of them draw a blank.”

    Adivunsolicited says it’s not because they’re less intelligent. Instead, it has to do with exposure. Millennials and older generations were often forced to listen to or watch whatever was on television or the radio. Gen Z, on the other hand, has everything curated for them by personalized algorithms that learn their tastes.

    “Millennials grew up with limited choices, and we’re the last generation to truly understand the way the world operated in analog before the switch to digital, Wi-Fi, and algorithms,” he explains. “You had the radio. You had cable TV with a few channels and maybe MTV, that’s it. Everyone consumed culture from the same handful of places. If a song from the ’70s played on the radio, you heard it. If a classic movie aired on television, you watched it. Cultural exposure was shared and centralized. Gen Z, they grew up in the algorithm era.”

    Whitney Houston, pop culture, music, Gen Z, Millennials, generations
    A woman shrugging against a blue background. Photo credit: Canva

    This younger generation experiences culture differently. YouTube recommendations, TikTok, and Instagram feeds are all curated to their personal tastes.

    “Hyper-personalization and hyper-isolation,” Adivunsolicited says. “If the algorithm doesn’t surface Prince or Madonna, it may never organically encounter them. If no one around them references Back to the Future, it doesn’t naturally enter their world. Millennials absorbed older culture almost by accident. Gen Z has to seek it out intentionally.”

    @rnblifeofficial_

    It’s crazy they don’t know who #nelly is 🤦🏾‍♂️ #qna #viral #fyp #fypシ

    ♬ original sound – rnblifeofficial_

    The man, who is also a musician, takes a moment to call out Gen X. He points out that Gen X would be the ones to expose their children—Gen Z—to older pop culture. While much of how Millennials absorbed pop culture came from limited entertainment choices, parents also played a role in introducing it to them. Judging by the responses given when students were asked to guess celebrities, that parental guidance on pop culture seems to have been missing.

    Commenters agree with the take. One person jokes, “They’re not woken up at 7 am on a Saturday morning to clean and listen to Anita Baker and it shows.”

    Another writes, “This made me sooo sad to see the video of them not knowing the great Whitney Houston but this is a really good point that they don’t know what they don’t know because of what they’ve grown up with.”

    Someone else points out a missed connection: “Because we were growing up interacting with our families of all ages not always by choice either, grandparent and parents were in the same rooms watching their shows and listening to their music and observing and learning about history and expanding our general knowledge.. this generation does not have to do this. They can go on to their own devices and have lost the communal element.”

    “The parents aren’t passing things down,” another person laments. “This is our culture. They don’t have MTV or BET and aren’t just going to know. It’s up to parents to pass down culture.”

  • Kevin Nealon shares the big lie he told Robin Williams so that he could be his friend
    Comedians and old friends Robin Williams and Kevin Nealon.Photo credit: Canva, Darsie, sarahinvegas, Wikimedia Commons, Flickr

    Comedian Kevin Nealon and the late, great Robin Williams first became friends in 1979 in Los Angeles. But according to Nealon, as kind and lovely as Williams was, it took a little bit of maneuvering on his part to make it happen. In fact, Nealon claims he had to outright lie to lock the friendship in.

    He recently took to X and Threads to recount a heartwarming memory of pretending he knew anything about cars just to spend a little time with the brilliant comic.

    X user @ISScottDavenport shared this Ellis Rosen cartoon. Photo credit: Scott DavenPort, X

    “Robin Williams had done his set and left the comedy club. Soon after, he walks back in annoyed.

    I said, what’s going on?

    He said his car wouldn’t start.

    I go, maybe I can help. I know absolutely nothing about cars. He doesn’t know that. I just wanted to make him think I was helping him.

    So we go outside. He’s got a Range Rover.

    We open the hood. He’s leaning in, swearing.

    I’m looking around. Nodding. Like I’m a mechanic.

    I have no idea what any of it is.

    After a minute, I say, ‘Yeah… I don’t have my tools with me. You might need a mechanic.’

    Then I said…’Robin, can I give you a ride home?’”

    @jeff.rock

    #robinwilliams #80s #snl #jeffrock #comedyvideo @Adorkable Ora @Leigh Ann🍻 @Jerald Branch @ᘺσσԃყ🫶🏼Dσρρҽʅɠαɳɠҽɾ.ԃσʂ @🎭❤️Jodi ❤️📺 @Emiliya R. R. @BlueMoon

    ♬ original sound – Jeff.Rock

    The simplicity and honesty in this one post have so many fans of both comedians truly engaged. Some share their own funny takes. “A technical comedian is an oxymoron,” jokes one X user. Another writes, “The classic mechanic technique: nod seriously and suggest a mechanic.”

    Another commenter notes how wholesome Nealon’s story is: “‘I don’t have my tools with me’ is the perfect punch line for a guy who knows nothing about cars. You gave a legend a ride home and a great story to tell. That’s a win-win.”

    This person shared their own story of seeing Williams when he dropped in as a surprise guest at the San Francisco Punch Line: “I saw him do a surprise, unannounced set at Punch Line SF, right after Brett Butler. He was a whirling dervish across the tiny stage, blessing us in the front seats with his frenetic sweat. It was amazing, and I’ll never forget it.”

    One Threads user shared how much they love stories like these, writing, “I could listen to people recount stories about Robin Williams for hours and hours. That’d be such a great podcast (or something). Just actors sharing stories about their good friend, Robin.”

    In past social media posts, Nealon has heaped praise and love on his old friend.

    On Instagram, he shared a painting he made of Williams, relaying how their friendship began and blossomed over decades:

    “My caricature painting of the brilliant Robin Williams. This was the Robin I first met in 1979 in a Los Angeles comedy club. (Before ‘Mork and Mindy.’) No one was quicker or funnier! I was absolutely floored by his wit, movement, improv skills, characters, and voices. Pure genius on the level of Jonathan Winters. As much as I laughed, I also found myself depressed because I knew I could never be that funny.

    He was Amadeus Mozart, and I would be Antonio Salieri at best. But, I eventually realized that Robin couldn’t be everywhere at once (but almost), so I would probably, at least, get some work. It was always a thrill for me whenever Robin hosted SNL when I was a cast member. Absolutely brilliant! So missed!”

  • Women’s wrestling champion earns praise for going easy on a terrified new wrestler
    Two women facing off to wrestlePhoto credit: Canva
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    Women’s wrestling champion earns praise for going easy on a terrified new wrestler

    When you’re one of the best, it’s easy to get caught up in continuing to prove you’re the best. Displaying your dominance in a sport can be exhilarating as crowds cheer you on. But for one wrestler, fostering a love for the sport is more important. Tamara Humphries is a wrestler at the University of…

    When you’re one of the best, it’s easy to get caught up in continuing to prove you’re the best. Displaying your dominance in a sport can be exhilarating as crowds cheer you on. But for one wrestler, fostering a love for the sport is more important.

    Tamara Humphries is a wrestler at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown who goes by the name Firefly. In a recent video, the college wrestler is intently watching as a referee seemingly explains different starting positions to another wrestler. The newcomer looks visibly terrified as she struggles to figure out how to position her body before the match starts.

    wrestling, girls wrestling, culture, pop culture, Firefly, University of Pittsburgh
    Wrestlers in a match. Photo credit: Canva

    Instead of letting things play out and using her own knowledge to her advantage, Humphries intervened. She taps the referee on the shoulder and signals that he doesn’t need to help. That’s when a sweet display of sportsmanship is shown. The championship wrestler starts from the position the other wrestler seems to be most comfortable with. Humphries also uses much less force while wrestling the girl to the mat.

    For some viewers, the more experienced wrestler took it easy on her competitor. Others saw the wrestling match differently and praised the wrestler for her acknowledgement of the girl’s fear while still giving her a match. Humphries isn’t a stranger to the fear she saw on the other wrestler’s face, which may have played into why her response was to be kind.

    The Pittsburgh native didn’t start wrestling until 10th grade. At the time, her inner-city school didn’t have a girls’ wrestling team, so she had to wrestle with the boys. In an old video uploaded to YouTube, Humphries shares how she was terrified the night before her very first match.

    “Listen, before my first match, I’m literally freaking out in my bed, terrified. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh,’ cause when I was on the team, there was no sanctioned girls wrestling at this moment,” the wrestler reveals in the year-old clip. “So I’m like, okay…I have to wrestle a boy. I’m looking up on YouTube, freaking boy versus girl wrestling, and it’s a bunch of girls getting actually demolished by guys. I’m like ‘oh my gosh, I’m cooked.’”

    Before joining the boys’ wrestling team, she was a cheerleader and ran track. Wrestling was a complete change that she had to take on alone. With girls’ and women’s wrestling starting to catch on, Humphries wants to do her part to make new wrestlers feel welcome.

    In the text overlay of a recent video, she writes, “Shout out to this super brave girl. This sport is terrifying! Never be afraid to start something new. We all start somewhere.”

    Viewers of the kind video heap praise on the young college athlete.

    One person writes, “U definitely took it easy on her and that was a very noble thing to do. Ive seen other clips of yours and know just how savage you can be when you need to be. You were a great ambassador to the sport for her. Many others would have smelled blood in the water and worked her over.”

    Another says, “This actually made me tear up. Wow. You are a GIRLS GIRL! You gave her a story, one day she’ll tell others, the reason she kept competing is because of this moment. It could’ve gone BAD, but you changed the trajectory. Well done.”

    This commenter adds on to the praise, saying, “I luv this. You showed her grace. Maybe someone did that for you. But it’s possible she can move forward and become better instead of giving up because of this one defining moment. And for you to have that wisdom is why you’re going to move mountains.”

    “Awesome sportsmanship, one of my teammates got clip farmed by a national qualifier this season and it was her first match ever,” another says.

    A coach views the act as a moment to praise both athletes, writing, “You’re great. You know that. You don’t need to show the world all the time. That’s admirable! Can we take a second to praise her? She was clearly scared and nervous. You can see it in her face. But she still went out there and competed. That’s more than most can say. Congrats to both of you from a dusty, old coach.”

    One commenter gushes, “Oh my god she’s trying so hard. This is the most touching thing I’ve seen in so long. You go girls!”

    Humphries reminds people in her caption that women’s wrestling is still new, and praises anyone trying it out: “I love running into people who just started to show them the sport isn’t so bad, with women’s wrestling on the rise, it’s nothing new. Never be afraid to start something new!! You guys are killing it.”

  • A woman was surprised with a party bus for her 60th birthday. She immediately took it to see her own mom battling dementia.
    Mom Michelle celebrates her 60th birthday on a surprise party bus and takes it to visit her mom Jackie, who has dementia and lives in assisted living.Photo credit: TikTok/@daniix3dee (with permission)
    ,

    A woman was surprised with a party bus for her 60th birthday. She immediately took it to see her own mom battling dementia.

    There is only one way to celebrate turning 60—on a party bus. That’s what Danielle DeBernardi and her sister were thinking when they booked one for their mom, Michelle. After the family gathered to celebrate the milestone birthday at a friend’s home, Danielle and her sister had one more surprise waiting outside—a party bus full…

    There is only one way to celebrate turning 60—on a party bus. That’s what Danielle DeBernardi and her sister were thinking when they booked one for their mom, Michelle.

    After the family gathered to celebrate the milestone birthday at a friend’s home, Danielle and her sister had one more surprise waiting outside—a party bus full of family and friends.

    In a series of touching videos, Danielle documented Michelle’s epic 60th birthday, which ended with a tear-jerking visit to a nursing home to see Jackie (a.k.a. Juju), the family matriarch battling dementia.

    @daniix3dee

    Mom asked if the party bus could go see My grandma in a nursing rehab facility. She has dementia and Alzheimer’s. She was dead asleep when we showed up at 10pm with 10ppl standing in her room ready to party 😂 #motherdaughter #birthdaygirl #queen #nursinghome #partybus

    ♬ Because You Loved Me – Charlotte Ave

    The party bus surprise

    The party bus pulls up as Michelle and her husband wait outside, and when she sees it, Michelle looks shocked. “Is this us?” she asks her daughter, before quipping, “Is there a dancing man in there?”

    When the doors open and she steps on, all 10 of her closest people inside yell, “Surprise!” Michelle appears overwhelmed with emotion and starts hugging each person on the bus.

    They take Michelle to dinner, and then Michelle has a special request: to go visit Juju.

    @daniix3dee

    Get that party bus !!! Happy 60th birthday mom! We love you so much!! #partybus #60thbirthday #mom #party #letsgo

    ♬ original sound – Danielle DeBernardi

    The nursing home visit

    The ladies are living it up on the bus. They can be seen singing and dancing to songs like Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.”

    Once they arrive at the nursing home, it’s all about Juju. Michelle can be seen sitting on her mom’s bed. Then she hops in with her, feeding her Häagen-Dazs ice cream and laughing together.

    “POV: you get your mom a party bus for her 60th birthday and you ask her where she wants to go, and she says she wants to go see her mom at the nursing facility so you pull up in a party bus with 10 people at 10:00 at night and all go inside to see juju,” Danielle captioned the video.

    It’s a moment Danielle and the family will never forget.

    “Having four generations together in that nursing home room for my mom’s 60th birthday meant more than words can fully express,” Danielle tells Upworthy.

    She continues, “Seeing my mom, her mother, myself and my daughter all in one place was such a powerful reminder of love, family, and the moments that truly matter. It was simple, but incredibly meaningful—a memory I’ll carry in my heart forever.”

    @daniix3dee

    Replying to @tranquil_tributes your wish is my command 🥰 the video with no music #motherdaughter #nursinghome #partybus #queen #60thbirthday

    ♬ original sound – Danielle DeBernardi

    Viewers react

    The sweet video struck an emotional chord with viewers, who shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “60 years ago, they sat in a hospital similar to this situation and your grandma fed her. What a beautiful full circle moment!!! 😭😭😭”

    “Made me sob! I’d give anything to be able to go see my mom on my 60th. God bless your mom and grandmother ❤️❤️❤️”

    “I hope my kids still love me this much some day 🥹”

    “Aww..she just wanted her momma🥹🥰”

    “At the end of the day, no matter the age, we all just want our mamas.”

    “What I would do to lay in a bed with my momma again🥺 What an awesome moment for them 2.”

    “Im SOBBING 😭😭😭😭 Life is precious, short, and should be celebrated with ppl who MATTER…. MOMMAS MATTER!”

  • A woman didn’t think she had an accent. A linguist proved her wrong with just one word.
    Who knew the word "bagel" was an accent giveaway?Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    A woman didn’t think she had an accent. A linguist proved her wrong with just one word.

    If you travel around the United States, you’ll find that Americans sound different everywhere you go. If you go from Boston to Birmingham, you’ll hear a big contrast in dialects and accents. Going from Seattle to San Diego, the differences would be much smaller, but they’d still be there. Some people don’t think they have…

    If you travel around the United States, you’ll find that Americans sound different everywhere you go. If you go from Boston to Birmingham, you’ll hear a big contrast in dialects and accents. Going from Seattle to San Diego, the differences would be much smaller, but they’d still be there.

    Some people don’t think they have an accent at all. It’s common for Americans outside the South and Northeast to believe they speak “normally,” unaware of the geographic “tells” in how they pronounce certain words. But as linguist Carson Woody demonstrates, sometimes just a single word can reveal where in the U.S. a person is from.

    A woman shared a social media trend in which people say three words that supposedly indicate where they’re from. She said she didn’t think she had an accent, but she only got as far as saying “bagel.” That’s okay, Woody said, because that was all he needed to clock her hometown.

    “Baby girl, you sound like the Pope,” Woody said. Sure enough, like Pope Leo XIV, she’s from Chicago.

    Woody said he understood what she meant when she said she didn’t think she had an accent.

    “A lot of people use the term ‘accent’ when referring to someone who has a distinct accent from them,” he said. “Like, ‘You have an accent, I don’t. Because you’re not from here and I am.’ You’re saying you don’t think you have an identifiable, regional accent. But linguistically, when we say, ‘an accent,’ what we’re talking about is just how you pronounce things. If you speak, you have an accent.”

    He explained that the way she pronounced the “a” in “bagel” gave away her location. He also shared that none of the various pronunciations of words are right or wrong.

    “Every accent, every dialect, every language, the way everybody speaks around the world are all equally valid and beautiful,” he said.

    What’s the difference between an accent and a dialect?

    As Woody said, an accent is the way words are pronounced. A dialect is broader, encompassing not only pronunciation but also grammar and vocabulary.

    So just how many dialects are there in American English? More than you might think. It’s hard to pin down an exact number because it depends on how broad or specific you want to get. Linguists recognize somewhere between three and 24 (or more) distinct American English dialects in the U.S. Within those dialects, there are hyperlocal pronunciation variations as well.

    For instance, there are some commonalities among Midwestern accents, but someone from Chicago will pronounce certain words differently than someone from northern Minnesota.

    Woody even shared how a dialect can practically—and in some cases actually—become a totally different language:

    Everybody has one

    As Woody pointed out, everyone has an accent. People in the comments even shared some metaphors that help illustrate this point:

    “Saying, ‘I don’t speak with an accent’ is like saying ‘I don’t type with a font.’”

    “Someone told me once to think of accents like fonts, you can’t really write or type without a font lol, everyone has their own accent that shows your heritage, family, origins, or even sometimes your personality. Humans are pretty cool.”

    “‘I don’t have an accent, everyone else does.’ ‘I don’t have a location, everyone else does.’ Same energy.”

    “If you eat you have a diet, and if you speak you have an accent.”

    “I had a professor years ago (ASL grammar) who could tell what part of the country someone was from or where they went to college by how they signed or finger spelled words. Even sign languages have accents!”

    And if you’re wondering what the other two words were that supposedly help indicate where you’re from, they’re “milk” and “eggs.” Apparently, ordering breakfast gives a lot away. Isn’t language fun?

    You can follow Carson Woody on YouTube for more linguistics fun.

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