Living on a planet with approximately 8 billion other people is interesting. We are unique individuals, but we are also part of a collective humanity, and the push and pull between the “me” and the “we” is something that has fascinated sociologists and philosophers for centuries.
The concept of courtesy bridges the gap between “me” and “we,” as it encourages seeing the needs and circumstances of other people and treating them with respect. In our highly individualistic society, however, that bridge must be built purposefully, with children being taught courtesy purposefully.
That’s one reason videos of young children role-playing as adults riding on a bus in early elementary classrooms are going viral.
Two videos have been circulating on social media this week showing kids in two rows of chairs set up as bus seats. A “driver” sits up front and as various passengers come aboard, the kids who are seated practice giving up their seat for those who appear to need it more than they do.
For instance, one kid role-plays boarding the bus as an old person with a cane, another as a person carrying a baby and another as someone pregnant. Not only do the kids who are already sitting practice offering up their seat, but they even practice providing physical assistance to help the person sit down.
(Note: The first video implies that it takes place in Japan, but it does not appear to be Japan. The original source of the video is unclear.)
The way they pretend to hold onto the invisible straps is adorable. You can see that they’re being trained in specific steps and walked through them to create the habit of seeing who is entering the bus and providing a seat for those who may need one.
How our creative teachers are teaching 'Civic Values' in rural schools.
Here's a beautiful clip where students enacted scene offering seats to fellow needy passengers in an invisible bus..
Much like the Japanese concept of “atarimae” that prompts Japanese soccer fans to clean up the stadium after a match, the idea that one would give up a seat for an elderly, pregnant or infirm person is just ingrained in some cultures. But that doesn’t mean it happens naturally. Making courtesy lessons a part of early elementary school curriculum, as we see in these videos, creates those habits of seeing a need and being willing to sacrifice for a fellow person from an early age.
What if all schools taught these habits to all kids? What influence would such lessons have on society? It’s not just about manners on public transit—it’s about being aware of the needs of the people around you and looking for ways to be helpful. It’s about recognizing that equity means some people have a need for some things more than others, even something as simple as a seat on a bus.
It’s great to see lessons in courtesy being taught so directly and thoroughly to young kids. This kind of role-play makes showing others respect and consideration not just a vague concept but specific behaviors and habits that should simply be a matter of course. If all 8 million of us learned these kinds of habits growing up, imagine what a different world we might live in.
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
From Pakistan to Tanzania, the most effective education solutions are community-led. Here’s how local leaders, in partnership with Malala Fund and supported by Pura, are mobilizing entire communities.
When asked to describe what Tanzania smells like, Grace Isekore closes her eyes and breathes in deep. For a moment, she’s somewhere else entirely. Tanzania is a rich tapestry of sights and scents, from the smell of sea mist that permeates the coastline to the earthy cardamom and cloves she cooks with in her kitchen. But when Grace emerges from her reverie, her answer is unexpected.
“Tanzania smells like peace,” she says, her eyes still closed. “I see a beautiful country where we are free to move, free to speak. And there is peace within the community.”
For Grace, that sense of peace isn’t just something she smells; it’s something she works toward every day. As a project coordinator with Pastoral Women’s Council (PWC), a women-led organization that empowers pastoralist communities in northern Tanzania, she has seen firsthand how girls flourish when they have the opportunity to attend school. Like scent, education not only connects girls to their own culture, but also helps broaden their horizons, realizing new possibilities for themselves and others. That transformation reshapes entire communities and ripples outward, with the potential to change countries and transform the world for the better.
Different scents, different approaches, and communities driving change
Spices in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
For Grace and others around the world, education is freedom, as well as a pathway to a stronger community. Rooted in that shared belief, Pura, a home fragrance company, was inspired to build on their four-year partnership with Malala Fund to create something truly unique: a fragrance collection that connects people through scent to communities in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil, where barriers to girls’ education are among the highest.
Using ingredients from each region, the new Pura x Malala Fund Collection uses scent to transport people to these regions directly. “Future in Bloom,” for example, invokes Pakistan’s lush valleys through notes of jasmine, cedarwood, and mango; while Tanzania’s fragrance, “Heart on Fire,” evokes the spirit and joyfulness of the girls who live there through cardamom, lemon, and green tea.
The new Collection honors the work Malala Fund does every day, partnering with locally-led organizations in these four countries to ensure every girl can access and complete 12 years of education. Each scent celebrates the joy, tenacity, and courage of the women and girls driving change on the ground, while also augmenting Pura’s annual grant to Malala Fund by donating eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection to Malala Fund directly.
Just as each country’s scent is unique, so too are their needs related to education. But with support from Malala Fund and Pura, local leaders are coming up with creative ways to mobilize entire communities (parents, teachers, elders, and the students themselves, in their pursuit of solutions, understanding that educating girls helps everyone thrive. Here’s how their efforts are creating real, durable impact in Tanzania and Pakistan, and creating a ripple effect that changes the world for the better.
Parent-teacher associations help Maasai girls and their communities in Tanzania problem-solve
A girl’s school in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Northern Tanzania, Grace’s home, is home to pastoralist communities like the Maasai, a nomadic people who have moved with the seasons to nurture the land and care for their livestock for centuries. The nomadic nature of this lifestyle creates significant and unique barriers to girls’ education. Longstanding gender roles have enabled Maasai to survive in the harsh environment and have placed great value on both women and men. Over time, as nomadic life has been threatened by the privatization of land and stationary education models have been implemented, the reality of pastoralist livelihood has shifted and introduced new complexities. Now, the sheer distance to schools is both a practical challenge and one that often comes with danger from the landscape, predators, and potential exposure to assault along the journey. Girls shoulder the responsibility of household chores and there is often cultural pressure around early marriage – both leading to boys’ education being prioritized over girls’.
“There are very, very good [pastoralist] cultural practices, which are passed from generation to generation,” says Janet Kimori, an English teacher at Lekule Girls Secondary School in Longido, Tanzania. But when cultural practices act as educational barriers, “you have to sit down and look for where you are going to assist. As a school, as an individual, the school administration—all of us will chip in and know how we are going to deal with this problem.”
PWC works to ensure girls are able to exercise their right to an education while also preserving pastoralist culture. One successful approach, the organization found, has been the formation of Parent Teacher Associations (PTAs), created with help from Malala Fund. In PTA meetings, students, parents, teachers, elders, and government officials meet, discuss educational barriers, and come up with community-led solutions that preserve and honor their culture while advancing educational outcomes.
PTA meeting in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
One recent PTA meeting highlights how these community-led solutions are often the most effective. At Lekule Girls Secondary School, the lack of fresh water forces girls to walk long distances to collect water for the school’s kitchen during the school day, and these long journeys not only disrupt class time but can leave girls vulnerable to sexual assault in isolated areas. Through facilitated discussion, PTA members landed on a solution: installing a borehole to pipe in fresh water to the school. Reliable access to water creates a better learning environment for the girls, but it also benefits the community at large, as local governments are then more likely to invest in health clinics and other community resources nearby.
With a solution in place, the PTA was then able to discuss ideas and map out a course of action. The women would raise money for the cost of the borehole, while the men would recruit workers to dig the hole and lay the pipe. Together, they would ask government officials to match their investment.
The benefits of PTA meetings within the pastoralist communities are undeniable. “The girls are talking and addressing issues in a confident way, and parents feel they are part of the resource team to solve challenges happening at school,” Grace says. One unexpected benefit: The larger cultural impact these PTA meetings have created. Thanks to the success of PTAs within pastoralist communities, the models are now being endorsed on a national level, and schools across Tanzania are starting to use them to solve problems in their own communities. When a community creates opportunities for girls to learn, everyone benefits.
Safe spaces in rural Pakistan help students and their parents connect, then drive change
Safe space for girls meeting in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
A continent away in Pakistan, the country’s northernmost region of Gilgit-Baltistan seems like a land untouched by time. The region’s looming mountains, snow-capped peaks, lush valleys and crystalline lakes draw nature lovers and landscape photographers from around the world, but living among this kind of breathtaking scenery has its drawbacks. Schools in the region are few and far between, and the area’s harsh climate often makes roads inaccessible for travel. Poverty and gender-based discrimination are additional obstacles, making school even further out of reach, and girls are affected disproportionately. Going up against these barriers requires a persistent, quiet strength that’s found in the women who live there and reflected in Pakistan’s signature scent.
Saheli Circles are how local leaders in Gilgit-Baltistan are bridging the gap between girls and education. An Urdu term for “female friend,” Saheli Circles are after-school safe spaces where girls explore subjects like art and climate change, while also developing skills that help them manage emotions, set goals, and build positive relationships. Girls study in groups, visit the library, play sports, and tackle filmmaking and photography projects, all designed to develop self confidence and teach the girls how to advocate for issues that matter to them. But the work doesn’t stop there.
“What we’re trying to achieve here will only be impactful if it trickles down to the home environment and the school environment,” says Marvi Sumro, founder and program director of Innovate, Educate, and Inspire Pakistan (IEI), the local organization that developed the Saheli Circles model and partnered with Malala Fund in 2021 to make it a reality. Ever since, Saheli Circles have grown to involve teachers, elders, and parents to encourage relationship building that’s essential for young girls and adolescents. “Our spaces can give mothers and daughters an opportunity to interact a little differently—do an art activity, or have a cup of tea together, or some good conversation,” Marvi says.
The relationship building is what makes the biggest positive impact throughout the community. Recently, one Saheli Circle was able to bring together parents, teachers, and administrators to advocate for better education at their local school, and together they convinced the department of education to hire a science teacher. Another Saheli Circle organized a fund where members of the community can contribute monthly to pay for uniforms, books, and other school expenses for the girls in their village, eliminating those small, hidden costs that are often a barrier to education for many. A third Saheli Circle was able to produce a short film about how gender-based household chores can take away valuable study time from girls, leaving them at a disadvantage. “The girls put the film together and showed it to the mothers, and the response from the mothers was just beautiful,” Marvi says.
Girls smiling in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
The education and relationship building that the girls receive in Saheli Circles connects them to larger opportunities and economic freedom that are not possible in their hometown. “For girls in Gilgit-Baltistan, education is extremely important because of the fact that we’re so far away from where the economy is, where the opportunity is. Education becomes this bridge for us, for our girls, to access all the opportunity and economy that exists in [larger cities].”
From rural Tanzania to remote Pakistan, local organizations prove every day that prioritizing girls’ education benefits everyone. Communities that lift up girls are able to secure resources like clean water and well-staffed schools, as well as build stronger relationships.
These outcomes are only possible because of the women and girls who work tirelessly in these regions to overcome barriers and drive progress. The Pura x Malala Fund Collection is a way to honor them, celebrate their achievements, and unite people the world over around a shared belief that education is freedom. Like scent, that belief can build, travel, and has the possibility to transform the world.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Sometimes, explaining exactly how you feel can be hard. Sure, basic emotions like happy, sad, or angry are easy to name. But pinpointing the exact word for certain complex human emotions can be difficult. (And often, there isn’t an English word to convey those feelings.)
But those with an expanded vocabulary (or access to a dictionary) can often procure uncommon words for these emotions, helping them feel more emotionally intelligent.
On Reddit, people shared 10 of their favorite rare words that describe hard-to-explain feelings.
Sonder
“‘Sonder’ meaning the sudden realization that every random stranger you pass has a life as complex and messy as your own.” – ownaword
Merriam-Webster defines sonder as “the realization and understanding that all other people have lives as complex as one’s own.”
Sonder also has an interesting origin story. “The word was introduced by American author John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a collection of words coined to describe feelings, emotional states, etc., for which the English language seems to lack a current word,” Merriam-Webster notes. “The dictionary was initiated as a website in 2009 and became a printed book in 2021.”
Ennui
“Ennui’s pretty well known, but not to everyone I guess. Ennui (pronounced ahn-WEE) is a noun defining a deep feeling of weariness, dissatisfaction, or listlessness caused by boredom or a lack of interest. It is more profound than simple boredom, often carrying an existential, ‘world-weary’ tone. Common synonyms include tedium, languor, apathy, and melancholy.” – nworbleinad
Merriam-Webster defines ennuias a “feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction; boredom.”
Eudaimonia
“Eudaimonia – much deeper than the usually given surface definition of happiness or well-being, philosophically speaking it means the deep and persistent feeling of flourishing because you are living in accord with the true nature of your being, or that you are in alignment with your true purpose.” – TurangaLeela80
Merriam-Webster defines eudaimonia as “well-being; happiness. Aristotelianism: a life of activity governed by reason.”
Encyclopaedia Britannicaexpands on eudaimonia in reference to philosopher Aristotle, who wrote two ethical treatises (Nicomachean Ethics and Eudemian Ethics) that explore the concept: “For Aristotle, eudaimonia is the highest human good, the only human good that is desirable for its own sake (as an end in itself) rather than for the sake of something else (as a means toward some other end).”
Frisson
“I wasn’t aware of the term ‘frisson’ until very recently, but now it comes to mind all the time when I have the experience. It refers to the aesthetic chills one can get from some external stimuli that’s deeply stirring and pleasurable. I most often experience it during masterful solo musical performances.” – common_grounder
Merriam-Webster defines frisson as “a sudden strong feeling or emotion.”
Piquancy
“Piquancy – the quality of being pleasantly stimulating or exciting.” – Putrid_Rock5526
Merriam-Webster defines piquancy (the quality or state of being piquant) as “agreeably stimulating to the taste, especially: having a pleasantly pungent, sharp, or spicy taste; engagingly provocative or stimulating, having a lively and often mischievous charm.”
Weltschmerz
“Weltschmerz (Welt = world + Schmerz = pain) — the sadness and discouragement you feel when you look at the state of the world and it falls painfully short of how you wish it was.” – canarialdisease
Merriam-Webster defines weltschmerz as “mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state; a mood of sentimental sadness.”
Weltschmerz first appeared in 1827. “The word weltschmerz initially came into being as a by-product of the European Romanticism movement of the late 18th and early 19th centuries,” Merriam-Webster explains. “A combining of the German words for ‘world’ (Welt) and ‘pain’ (Schmerz), weltschmerz aptly captures the melancholy and pessimism that often characterized the artistic expressions of the era.”
The Daily Word: Weltschmerz Definition: (noun) A weary or pessimistic feeling about life; an apathetic or vaguely yearning attitude. Sorrow that one feels and accepts as one’s necessary portion in life; sentimental pessimism. Performed by: Don Huely Written by: Don Huely with ChatGPT Edited by: Dougie McFallendar Physical and psychological therapist to Don Huely: Fergus O’Shaughnessy Music: Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor by Sergei Rachmaninoff & Fanfare for the Common Man by Aaron Copland #huely#wordoftheday#thedailyword#Dougie69mf#fergusOshay#Rachmaninoff#Weltschmerz#Copland @fergusoshay @dougie69mf
“Anhedonia: The inability to experience pleasure or a loss of interest or satisfaction in previously enjoyable activities.” – adulting4kids
Merriam-Webster defines anhedonia as “a psychological condition characterized by inability to experience pleasure in normally pleasurable acts.”
Numinous
“Numinous: Describing an experience that is both awe-inspiring and spiritual.” – adulting4kids
Merriam-Webster defines numinous as “supernatural, mysterious; filled with a sense of the presence of divinity; appealing to the higher emotions or to the aesthetic sense.”
Torpor
“Torpor: A state of physical or mental inactivity, lethargy, or apathy.” – adulting4kids
Merriam-Webster defines torpor as “a state of mental and motor inactivity with partial or total insensibility; a state of lowered physiological activity typically characterized by reduced metabolism, heart rate, respiration, and body temperature that occurs in varying degrees especially in hibernating and estivating animals. Apathy, dullness.”
Lachrymose
“Lachrymose: Inclined to weep or cry easily, often describing a melancholic or tearful mood.” – adulting4kids
Merriam-Webster defines lachrymose as “given to tears or weeping, tearful; tending to cause tears, mournful.”
Human psychology really isn’t that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”
Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.
One group was asked, “Can you help clean?” The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?” The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”
Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.
“It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, ‘Can you be a leader?’ Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to ‘Be an innovator’? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”
Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.
“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”
This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.
“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.
The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”
Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
Sometimes when we interact with people, we can fall into autopilot mode and say something we don’t mean. Case in point: when someone accidentally ends a professional call with “I love you,” as if they were talking to a spouse, instead of a formal goodbye—or when a student accidentally refers to their teacher as “mom.”
The reason we sometimes feel like we’ve “zoned out” or acted without conscious effort is a psychological phenomenon known as automaticity. Automaticity can be very helpful when we’re doing complex tasks like catching a football or when we’re doing things that shouldn’t require much mental energy, such as brushing our teeth. However, when we’re on autopilot, we sometimes say silly things, and this teacher is a perfect example.
“I’m a high school teacher (44, been doing this for like 15 years) and today during 6th period, I was helping this kid, let’s call him Marcus, with a geometry proof,” the teacher explained in a now-deleted Reddit post. “He was really trying, you know? Had his pencil behind his ear, kept erasing, the whole thing. And when he finally got it, I just… I said, ‘There you go, sweetie!’”
“The room went *silent*. Like that record-scratch moment you see in movies, except it was real and happening to my actual life,” the teacher explained. “Marcus just stared at me. I tried to recover with ‘I mean… good job, Marcus,’ but the damage was done. By the time the bell rang, I could hear them already talking about it in the hallway.”
The teacher has a 12-year-old daughter they call “sweetie” approximately 600 times a day, so, of course, it was bound to slip out at some point. This time, it just happened to be to Marcus in geometry class. After the school day, the teacher was fraught with questions: “Do these things just blow over? Will Marcus ever make eye contact with me again?”
The post received some funny responses and genuine encouragement.
“It’s good to see there’s a teacher version of calling the teacher mom,” a commenter wrote.
“I once called my English teacher Dad in an otherwise silent classroom. He was only 24, a strawberry blond, and he blushed,” another added.
One commenter thought the teacher should take the Curb Your Enthusiasm approach:
“Double down. Call more kids ‘sweetie.’ Now it’s normalized, and you haven’t humiliated just Marcus (or yourself). There’s a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this! Richard Lewis hits his new gf with a premature ‘honey’ and then predictably spirals when she’s weirded out and tries to overcompensate by calling everyone he sees ‘honey’ in front of her.”
Finally, a lot of folks told the teacher everything would blow over
“It will blow over,” a commenter wrote. “I don’t know where you’re from, but calling people little things like that is common everywhere, as far as I know. If a cashier said ‘thanks sweetie’ to me or something I would think literally nothing of it. Seems an overreaction from them. If one of them accidentally called you mum, they would get some banter for it, and then it would be forgotten about. Happens to us all!”
The teacher’s story is a great reminder that we all go on autopilot sometimes and slip up, and there’s no need to feel too bad about it. But just be careful what you call your loved ones at home. It may be the next thing you call a coworker.
Generation X occupies an interesting time in history, for those who care to recognize that they actually exist. They were born between 1965 and 1980 and came into this world at an interesting inflection point: women were becoming a larger part of the workplace and divorce was at the highest point in history. This left Gen X to be the least parented generation in recent history.
Gen X was overlooked in their domestic lives and culturally were overshadowed by Baby Boomers with their overpowering nostalgia for Woodstock, The Beatles, and every cultural moment celebrated in Forest Gump. Once Boomer navel-gazing nostalgia began to wane, a much larger and over-parented generation, the Millennials, came on the scene.
“Whereas Boomers were the ‘me generation’ and millennials were the ‘me me me generation,’ Gen X has become the ‘meh’ generation,” Emily Stewart writes at Business Insider. But even if Gen X is a little aloof, that doesn’t mean they aren’t totally rad, awesome, trippindicular, and that it’d be bogus to define them any other way. To explain the unique history of Gen X and why they’re often overlooked, history teacher Lauren Cella created a timeline on TikTok to explain them to her Gen Z students.
A love letter to Gen X from your millennial cousin? Gen X didn’t start the fire, so after this I will just leave them alone because they do not care ? But seriously for a generation that sometimes gets “forgotten” and stuck between the larger boomer or millennial cohorts, the genres they created paved the way for pop culture as we know it. I’m still not sure who let kids watch “The Day After” on TV or play on those hot metal playgrounds, but Gen X survived to tell the tale. Today, the so called “latchkey” kids, born 1965-1980 are actually super involved as parents, aunts, uncles, teachers (or maybe even grandparents)?. Kids today want to say they are “built different” but I think Gen X is the one holding down that title because they grew up tough, they saw too much, they made it out, and they know exactly who they are and wouldn’t have it any other way.✌️ g#genx
In Cella’s video, she divides Gen X into three distinct phases.
Phase 1: 1970s stagflation and changing families
“Gas shortages meant stagflation. So parents either both had to work or maybe they were divorced. So that meant microwave TV dinners and kids that sort of raised themselves,” Cella explains. “There was no parenting blogs, there was no after-school travel sports, emailing. Like, none of that existed. Bored? Go outside.”
Phase 2: The neon ‘80s
“But then came the 1980s, where everything was big and loud. The hair, the bangs, the Reaganomics, mass consumerism (because now we can trade with China). The whole media just exploded,” Cella says. “But now we have TV, we have movies, we have TV, movies, home movies, TV movies, favorite TV movies, music, music, Videos, music, video, television. All these different genres and all these different cliques and all these different ways that you can express yourself.”
Phase 3: 1990s post-Cold War Skepticism
“Gen X sort of comes into the 1990s more sarcastic and skeptical,” Cella continues. “The Cold War ending meant that they rejected the excess of the eighties. And there’s the shift. Grunge, indie, alternative, flannels, Docs [Doc Martins]. At this point, the technology is also exploding, but not like fun home media, but like corporate media. So there’s this resistance to sell-out culture.”
Cella has a theory on why Gen X seems forgotten, and it’s not just because CBS News famously denied its existence. She believes that it comes down to Gen X’s inability to call attention to itself. “So Gen X is a bridge between these two larger, more storied generations. So it’s not necessarily that they get forgotten. They don’t really want the attention. They’re kind of fine to just like, fly under the radar like they always have, because honestly, it’s whatever.”
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Every school has hundreds of kids pass through its doors on a daily basis. Things are bound to get left behind. But what’s really wild (and the bane of many parents’ existence) is that many of those jackets, hats, or—God forbid—a single shoe sit in the school’s lost-and-found bin, doomed to never see the light…
Every school has hundreds of kids pass through its doors on a daily basis. Things are bound to get left behind. But what’s really wild (and the bane of many parents’ existence) is that many of those jackets, hats, or—God forbid—a single shoe sit in the school’s lost-and-found bin, doomed to never see the light of day again.
One group of teachers decided to offer their students a kind—and creative—reminder to grab their forgotten treasures: a good old-fashioned fashion show.
In a now-viral video shared by retired kindergarten teacher Leslie Johnson, we see teachers strut down a makeshift outdoor runway, faces fierce, each sporting at least five or six clothing items on hangers as *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye” plays in the background. Holy moly, the number of clothing items is truly insane. Is this a year’s worth, or a week?!
The gag is not only hilarious but clearly effective, as we also see quite a few kids running up to reclaim their items. So there’s that.
The video has since been viewed a whopping 3.6 million times, garnering a ton of praise from parents whose kids never bother to look for their missing stuff in a spot specifically for that kind of thing:
“This is the MOST genius thing I have ever seen!! You would think it wouldn’t be that difficult for kids to find their belongings in a lost and found bin, but nope they don’t and then the clothes get shipped down to the nurses office whether wanted or not!!”
“I can relate to this so well.My son within the 4 days of school starting, lost four jackets during winter time.”
“I’ve seen 3 hoodies that look like my son’s and he doesn’t even go to that school! 🥴”
“My son lost two jackets in two days. I love this.”
“I know at least $300 of my hard earned dollars would be on this catwalk.”
On that note, many even suggested that parents—who are the ones earning early gray hairs actually looking for these items—should have attended.
“This needs to be a parent day too cause these kids don’t know their own dang clothes 😂😂😂”
“They need to do this at parent teacher conferences 😂😂”
Tips to help prevent kids from losing stuff…without losing your mind
Listen, kids will be kids, but the tips below might help at least lessen the frequency of things going missing. The key is to actively involve kids in any of these strategies so that they are learning responsibility.
Label everything
This is a tedious one, but very helpful. It might not keep a student from forgetting something, but if another student or teacher can see who the item belongs to, it certainly increases the chance of that item getting back to its proper owner.
Create packing routines
Establish a “pack and check” routine for both morning and afternoon to ensure all items are accounted for before leaving home and school.
Reduce clutter
Limiting the number of items carried to school makes it that much easier to manage.
Color-code subjects
Assign specific colors to subjects to help children quickly identify whether they have the correct notebooks or folders, such as red for science or yellow for math.
Use checklists
Have children write a list of their key belongings that need to leave the house in the morning and return home at the end of the day. This helps them visualize and verify that they have all the necessary items. Ideally, kids will eventually remember what to keep track of and not need the list. But even if they don’t, they’ll at least have tangible tools to keep things organized.
There has been a big shift in the delicate interplay between employers and employees since the COVID-19 pandemic. In pandemic-era America, job seekers had the advantage due to labor shortages caused by early retirements, long COVID, caregiving needs, and generous government relief programs.
There has been an economic shift over the past two years, with unemployment rising due to disruptions in global trade, declines in manufacturing, and the rise of artificial intelligence. That means the pendulum has swung in the other direction, and employers now hold the stronger hand.
How has America’s job market changed?
Popular TikToker Melissa Marcus, a career coach and recruiter, explained in a recent post that the shift between employees and employers means corporations now expect new hires to be ready to work.
“All over my LinkedIn feed, there are job postings now that are like, ‘if you’re looking for a 9-to-5 and you don’t want to be challenged, then this job is not for you,’” Marcus told her followers.
“Corporate America has always done an ebb and flow around this. The minute the job market becomes such that they are in control, the corporate culture starts to fall apart,” Marcus said, noting that this particular trend is “certainly true” in the tech space. “They have moved into this place of ‘We don’t care anymore. If you wanna come work for us, we’re gonna work you harder, we’re gonna pay you less, and you’re gonna love it.’”
This temporary shift toward an unhealthy work environment may prompt some people to rethink their options when considering a career change and focus on workplaces where culture comes first.
If you’re looking for a job and want to be sure the company supports a healthy work-life balance, there are a few ways to approach your search.
You can check out websites that host company reviews, such as Glassdoor and Indeed, where current and former employees give you an inside look at companies. You should take some of these reviews with a grain of salt, because current employees aren’t likely to write negative reviews about where they work. These sites are good for reading the tea leaves of a workplace, or noticing patterns that give you a good idea of what it’s like to work there.
When it comes to the industries where people are happiest, companies with mission-driven work tend to score among the highest in employee satisfaction. A recent survey found that people who work in science and pharmaceuticals report an overall job happiness score of nearly 92%, higher than creative arts and design (84%) and environment and agriculture (81%).
At a time when it’s becoming harder to land a new job, finding a position at a company with a great culture may feel like a luxury. But by looking into the right industries and asking the right questions, you can give yourself the best chance of finding a job that offers satisfying work and treats you with dignity.
All roads might lead to Rome, but what about avenues? Boulevards? Drives? Do all these words essentially mean the same thing? And while we’re on the subject, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why is English so complicated?! In a decidedly uncomplicated two-minute-long Instagram video, a man named Karim,…
All roads might lead to Rome, but what about avenues? Boulevards? Drives? Do all these words essentially mean the same thing? And while we’re on the subject, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why is English so complicated?!
In a decidedly uncomplicated two-minute-long Instagram video, a man named Karim, who frequently posts “fun fact” content, explains, “I know we tend to use roads, streets, boulevard, avenue, all of these things kind of interchangeably, but there are some differences between these things.”
Breaking it down
Mercifully, he breaks down those differences so we don’t have to.
A “road” is a broad, generic term for any pathway that connects two points, found in both rural and suburban areas. Roads are designed to move traffic between locations.
Meanwhile, “streets” are found exclusively in towns or cities and feature buildings and/or sidewalks on both sides. They often accommodate both vehicle traffic and pedestrian activity.
In other words, “roads” connect any two places, while “streets” are part of a city’s infrastructure. For example, you might take a road to travel between cities but drive down a street to find a shop.
Moving on, Karim explained that “avenues” are wider than streets and are typically separated by a median. They often feature trees and landscaping on either side, in addition to buildings. According to Southern Living, avenues also run perpendicular to streets.
“Boulevards” are even wider than avenues and also feature a median, along with more extensive landscaping and formal lighting. While both avenues and boulevards are designed for heavy traffic flow, boulevards often feel more park-like or grand in scale.
Unlike a street, which is grid-like and structured for city life, a “drive” is shaped by the natural topography—such as hills or lakes—and is more commonly found in scenic or residential areas.
Speaking of residential areas…
A “lane” is typically a narrow road that acts as a small residential street, generally lacking shoulders or a median. A “way,” on the other hand, is usually a small side street or a path that connects other streets within neighborhoods.
Both “courts” and “places” refer to roads that lead to a dead end. However, a court typically ends in a round cul-de-sac, whereas a place is straight.
Karim admitted that there were still other terms he could have covered—such as terraces, parkways, and groves—but he did a great job explaining the basics.
And for anyone curious: “terraces” refer to streets situated on elevated ground or along the top of a slope, “parkways” involve multiple lanes and are designed for passenger vehicles and some heavy trucks, and “groves” appear to be courts surrounded by trees.
Viewers react
If you were surprised by just how unexpectedly engrossing all this was, you’re not alone. Here are some of the comments on his video:
“I never knew!!!😃”
“Showing this to my students! Interesting and educational! Keep them coming!”
“Fascinating. I thought they just chose what sounded nice!”
“I wonder how many folks in charge of naming roads these days follow these guidelines.”
And that is certainly something worth noting. Part of our collective confusion almost certainly comes from the fact that many of these terms are used interchangeably—as many viewers have apparently experienced firsthand:
“My residential street, officially, according to the postal service, is a Boulevard, but in reality is not. We don’t like to call it one. When there’s a parked car, you can barely pass if there’s an oncoming car. Definitely not what you described, which I what I think of when the word boulevard is supposed to used.”
“In my town there’s a blvd that is actually only a cut-through road that at one point was [an unnamed] gravel road. Not much of a boulevard 🤣”
Okay, so maybe a little too much poetic license is taken (especially with “boulevard”), but at least we all know something we likely didn’t know before!
