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Is wearing earbuds in the grocery store antisocial?

There’s no shortage of debate about AirPods etiquette.

By

Evan Porter

airpods, earbuds, public spaces, etiquette, social skills, people skills, small talk, anxiety, social anxiety, psychology, technology, society, culture
Photo credit: cottonbro studio/Pexels – Is it antisocial to wear AirPods in public spaces like the grocery store?

If it feels like everyone in public is wearing earbuds—Apple AirPods, specifically—that’s because the behavior is on the rise. In fact, the phenomenon has even been the subject of scientific inquiry, with one study out of the New Jersey School of Architecture examining people’s creation of “private sound environments” in busy urban spaces.

People might choose to listen to calming music, a podcast, upbeat tunes, or even just silence or white noise. But it’s not the content causing debate—it’s the etiquette involved. There’s been no shortage of discourse around the use of AirPods in public, and one of the most hotly discussed places, fittingly enough, is also one of the most common: the grocery store.

Some say wearing earbuds in the grocery store is antisocial

A recent post on X with nearly nine million total views featured a number of strong opinions on both sides.

The original poster claims to have stopped wearing AirPods at the grocery store because “it’s antisocial, doesn’t matter if everyone else is doing it, you have to start with yourself.”

Another user replied that they had also recently quit: “I had the same realization recently. I used to fill every ’empty’ moment with podcasts, grocery shopping, jogging, gaming, even cooking, thinking I was being productive by multitasking. But instead of feeling smarter, my brain felt constantly overloaded with noise and information.”

Others argued that wearing earbuds dramatically decreases social awareness and said people tuned into music or a podcast would frequently stand in their way or otherwise behave rudely due to their inattentiveness.

In another X post, a user called wearing headphones in public a “dystopian tech trend” and worried that things would only get worse with AI-enhanced glasses, more engaging and addictive mobile apps, augmented reality experiences, and more.

Psychology Today chimed in on the topic in 2022 with an article titled “Why Earbuds Are a Threat to Ourselves and Society.” In it, Jim Taylor, PhD, wrote:

“When you are wearing earbuds, you are also sending a signal to others around you that you don’t want to be disturbed. And think about those spontaneous moments in your life when you met someone who became important to you (or you haven’t had those moments because you’re always plugged in). They happened because you were open to the world around you. With earbuds, you are creating a virtual wall that surrounds you and that doesn’t readily allow others into your world.”

Psychologists weigh in

The first generation of AirPods is about 10 years old now. Clinical thinking around their use has evolved quite a bit in that time.

For example, Dr. Shannon Franklin, co-founder and director of clinical training at Element Q Healing Center, says that headphones in public aren’t antisocial—they’re a regulation strategy:

“[It’s] not a rejection of connection. For folks who are neurodivergent, anxious, or highly sensitive to sensory input, a grocery store is genuinely overwhelming. The headphones aren’t saying ‘leave me alone,’ they’re saying ‘I need to manage this environment so I can function in it.’ There’s also just the reality that public space has gotten louder and more stimulating. People are protecting their attention and their nervous system.”

@reindrrop

and yes ill film in a store but the headphones made me nervous idk how to explain it #anxiety #appleairpodmax ♬ original sound – Reina

Ilana Grines, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Daily Therapy Dose, agrees and challenges the stigma behind “closing yourself off.”

“The stigma comes from this idea that we’re supposed to be available to strangers at all times and that being polite means staying open to whatever comes at you,” Grines said. “There’s a real difference between being antisocial and being intentional about where you spend your social energy. The person with earbuds in at the grocery store might be saving up that energy for a meaningful conversation with someone they actually care about later. That’s protective, and probably important to their overall wellbeing.”

She calls wearing AirPods in public “the opposite of antisocial” and argues it demonstrates great self-awareness and social awareness.

To take it a step further, women in particular have admitted to wearing earbuds more frequently in public to tune out and protect themselves from harassers and people who might pose a danger to them. Other people use headphones as a tool to help ward off pushy salespeople, volunteers seeking signatures on clipboards, and other contentious social interactions that can heighten anxiety.

AirPods at the grocery store, and in other public spaces, is ultimately a gray area. There’s a fine line between using technology to self-regulate or protect your peace and slipping into a dystopian reality where we’re all too self-involved in our own little tech worlds to notice each other.

The study out of the New Jersey School of Architecture actually found something interesting worth noting. The subjects observed enjoyed busy indoor spaces, like public transit or the grocery store, more when they had earbuds in. But they found far less enjoyment in nature, like public parks, than individuals who didn’t wear headphones.

In other words, there’s a time and a place. It’s polite and respectful to look a cashier in the eye and engage with them human-to-human, not tune them out with headphones. And if you’re outside the grocery store and in the natural world, research has shown you’ll get much more out of the experience if you tune in to the sounds and sights around you.

But it’s not antisocial to realize that you don’t owe anyone your time, and it’s OK if you need a little self-regulation to function in high-stimulation environments. It’s good timing that we finally have the tools to do it—and enjoy some awesome tunes at the same time.

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    pane window, window hole, looking out window, aviation, commercial airliner
    The tiny hole in an airplane window. Credit: Canva

    “Now, the inner window layer, the one that’s closest to you, doesn’t really need a hole because it’s fitted in a way that allows air to flow around it. But that breather hole also serves a different job, which is to make it more difficult for moisture to become trapped between the layers and start fogging up your window, stopping you from admiring the view outside,” Hörnfeldt continues.

    In his most popular video, Hörnfeldt admitted that commercial airline pilots know when you’ve flushed the toilet on a plane.

    Do pilots know when you flush the toilet on a plane?

    @mentourpilotofficial

    Do Pilots Know When You Go to the Toilet? #Aviation #Pilots #aviationtiktok #Airplane MentourPilot

    ♬ original sound – Mentour Pilot – Mentour Pilot

    According to Hörnfeldt, pilots don’t know that you’ve flushed a toilet based on an alert, security camera footage, or a sudden power surge. They know that the toilet has been flushed because of a slight change in cabin pressurization. Airplane toilets use a special vacuum flushing mechanism to suck the contents out. The vacuum system is calibrated to the cabin air pressure. “But that flushing actually does show up on our instruments as a sudden cabin climb on our cabin vertical speed indicator,” Hörnfeldt says. “So we can see it. And it kind of makes sense, if you think about it.”

    Next time you see the tiny hole in an airplane window as you gaze upon your hometown at 35,000 feet, you know that it’s not a manfcatingring mistake. It’s here to keep you safe in a cabin with a pressurized system that also knows if you used the bathroom. Aren’t airplanes just incredible?

    Keep Reading →
  • Doctors kept dismissing her persistent cough. One heroic nurse refused to let it go.
    Photo credit: Canva – A nurse speaks with a doctor in the hallway.
    ,

    Doctors kept dismissing her persistent cough. One heroic nurse refused to let it go.

    “Had Alison not picked up on the fact that she was sure something else was wrong, I don’t know what would have happened.”

    Adam Albright-Hanna

    Upworthy Staff

    Julie Silverman had been coughing for years. Not the kind of cough that goes away with some rest and cough syrup, but a persistent, worsening cough that no doctor seemed able to explain or fix. As she shared on NPR’s Hidden Brain podcast in the “My Unsung Hero” segment, the experience of being dismissed by the healthcare system over and over again was exhausting.

    “I had, at this point, gotten kind of dismissive about it because I had been dismissed by so many doctors as, ‘There’s nothing wrong, you’re not responding to our treatments, we’ll try something else,’” Silverman recalled.

    But one person refused to dismiss her: a nurse practitioner named Alison.

    nurse, saves, woman, persistent cough, misdiagnosis
    A nurse checks the vitals of a patient. Photo credit: Canva

    Alison worked at one of the clinics Silverman visited regularly, and unlike the doctors who had cycled through various unsuccessful treatments, Alison kept paying attention. She was perplexed by the cough and made it her mission to track Silverman’s condition over time.

    During one of Silverman’s weekly appointments, Alison noticed something concerning. Silverman’s symptoms had gotten worse. Her voice was hoarse, she was breathless and wheezing, and the coughing was more severe than before.

    “She was just adamant something was wrong with my airway,” Silverman said.

    Alison immediately pushed one of the physicians at the clinic to perform a scope of Silverman’s trachea. The procedure involved inserting a small camera through her nose and down the back of her throat to look for blockages.

    “I could just tell by their faces something was not right,” Silverman remembered.

    The scope revealed what years of doctor visits had missed. Silverman had idiopathic subglottic stenosis, a rare condition that affects about one in 400,000 people. Scar tissue had been building up at the top of her trachea, and her airway was 75% blocked. That’s why she’d been coughing. That’s why nothing had worked. And if it had gone untreated much longer, it would have been fatal.

    “This is a very serious condition and fatal if not treated because your airway completely closes,” Silverman explained.

    The diagnosis finally gave Silverman what she needed: the right information to find the right specialist who could actually treat her condition. She’s now doing well, spending her time volunteering at her local hospital, riding her bike, hiking, skiing, and enjoying time with friends and family.

    But she hasn’t forgotten what Alison did for her.

    “Had Alison not picked up on the fact that she was sure something else was wrong and gotten this physician to look in my throat, I don’t know what would have happened,” Silverman said. “It was her persistence and diligence and her listening to me and taking me seriously that got my diagnosis in a timely enough fashion to do something about it. So, for these reasons, Alison is my unsung hero.”

    Our healthcare system is increasingly driven by rapid diagnoses and technology, but sometimes what saves a life is just simple human attention. Someone who listens, keeps watching, and refuses to dismiss what they’re seeing even when everyone else has moved on.

    Keep Reading →
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