Man lists 8 not fun, but very important things you need to start doing as an adult.

“Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

adulthood, life hacks, life advice
Photo credit: @johnfluenzer/TikTok8 things you should be doing as an adult. Spoiler alert—none of them are fun.

Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.

But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.

Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.


John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.

1. Getting an annual doctor visit.

annual checkup
young woman visiting her doctor Canva

This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”

2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.

dentist near me
Woman at the dentist Canva

“Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it’s better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.

As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn’t want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.

…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.

“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.

Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.

Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.

Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…

3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.

std check, std clinic
an image of STD tests Canva

“If you’re uncomfortable with your GP, or you don’t have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it’s better to know,” he said.

4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot.”

vaccine near me
A man having just got a vaccine. Canva

“We’re talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you’re under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It’s three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.

And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.

5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.

pep near me
Image of pills Canva

For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.

Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.

6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.

rent prices, apartment near me
Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent. Canva

John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month.”

“It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that’s important,” he added. “But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time.”

7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.

cheap cellphone, lowering cellphone bill
Woman holding a cellphone Canva

“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?” he said. “I don’t care if it’s any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you’re under no contract—you have so much freedom.”

Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.

8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.

netflix, hbo, showtime, hulu
There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time. Canva

This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.

“You don’t need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever… you don’t need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu… All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like ‘My List.’ And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.

What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.

“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.

Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.

“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”

You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.

Watch the full video below:

@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound – John

This article originally appeared on 12.10.23

  • Dad is praised for his patient explanation of their mom’s period to his two young sons
    Photo credit: TikTok/@payalforstyle [with permission]Dad talks to his two sons about periods.
    ,

    Dad is praised for his patient explanation of their mom’s period to his two young sons

    “There’s one week a month when Mom wakes up and her body is telling her, ‘This is painful.'”

    Period education can be an awkward topic for parents to tackle, but not for Payal Desai’s husband, Hiren.

    The mom of two boys caught a sweet conversation between Hiren and their sons about menstruation as they brushed their teeth together. His understanding tone and explanation of what women experience during their periods is being celebrated by fellow moms and viewers.

    “My husband reminding our boys that there is no shame (only empathy) in periods,” she captioned the video.

    Dad explains periods to sons

    In the video, Hiren is chatting with his two sons as he begins to explain what periods are like for women.

    “I cut my finger yesterday and I needed a Band-Aid. Imagine what…Mom can’t put a Band-Aid on her vagina,” he says.

    One of the boys asks, “Isn’t that why there’s pads?”

    Hiren responds, “The pads absorb the blood, but it doesn’t make the pain go away. I’m sorry, but my little cut is not like what happens to Mom. So that’s why we have more sympathy and empathy for Mom. Like, be nice to her.”

    He then explains more about what is going on in a woman’s body during her period.

    “Mom’s hormones are impacted from her period, then the pain in the body…all kinds of things. It’s not just, ‘Oh no, some blood came out’,” he adds.

    Finally, Hiren tells the boys that it’s important to understand periods because one day they may have a partner who goes through menstruation, and that they need to be empathetic.

    “You’re gonna have a partner, and if it’s a woman, you’re gonna have to deal with that. Or you’re gonna have friends that are girls, and they’re gonna go through this,” he says. “Or classmates or teammates or partners. There’s one week a month when Mom wakes up and her body is telling her, ‘This is painful.’”

    Payal shares her thoughts

    In an interview with Upworthy, Payal explained why the talk Hiren had with their boys is important.

    “I’d want folks to know that in our home we aim to raise our boys with respect for themselves and deep empathy for others,” she says. “I wasn’t surprised to overhear my husband having this talk with them, which is part of ongoing conversations on how we can all show up for each other in times of need.”

    She also explained that she hopes it will help encourage other boy dads and moms to talk with their sons about periods.

    “On the topic of periods and menstruation, I think parents raising boys have a unique opportunity to help lift stigma that lead to misogyny and intolerance. We can raise boys to be a safe and understanding spaces for the women in their lives by being transparent—it’s biology after all!”

    Viewers respond

    Many viewers shared their support for Hiren’s chat with their sons, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “That man was MEANT to be a father, especially to young men! 🥰😭.”

    “This is the greenest flag of green flags that has ever flagged. You and those boys are very lucky.”

    “Imagine…. if ALL boys were parented this way. Just imagine …….”

    “THE INCLUSIVITY IN HIS LANGUAGE ♥️♥️♥️♥️”

    “This is what secure masculinity looks like.”

    “Now we all know why you married this man. No mansplaining just an actual conversation with his son. Your son’s are going to be able to feel comfortable and confident going to him for any advice without being made to feel ashamed. We need the Green flag guy.”

  • New study finds that ‘good enough’ parenting seems to be making a comeback and why that’s absolutely okay
    Photo credit: CanvaAn exhausted mother holds her baby.

    Since the beginning of time, it’s probably safe to say that many parents are simply exhausted as they navigate child-rearing. It’s a delicate dance between being a helicopter parent and being checked out. And for some, that anxiety and restlessness can linger for a good portion of their child’s life. A parenting concept from well over half a century ago might be changing that once more.

    British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott coined the phrase “good enough” parenting when he hypothesized that it was perhaps okay for parents to let their children, within healthy boundaries, learn important lessons on their own. The gist is that instead of attempting to oversee every single portion of a child’s life, a parent can step back and show up in ways that will ultimately guide them to a (hopefully) better outcome.

    Kids learn from our mistakes

    Dr. Ramani Durvasula (who simply goes by Dr. Ramani online) describes the notion succinctly in an interview clip with MedCircle. Here, she explains how vital it is for children to learn certain life lessons on their own. “We only need to be good enough. If we get it right every time… our kids learn from our mistakes. Every so often it takes us too long to soothe them. That’s when they learn to soothe themselves. We need to do ‘just enough’ mistakes so that they learn to do things by themselves.”

    In a 2016 piece for Psychology Today, author Marilyn Wedge, P.h.D. explains the idea evolves after infancy. “In discussing the mother (or other caretaker’s) adaptation to the needs of the baby, Winnicott thought that the ‘good enough mother’ starts out with an almost complete adaptation to her baby’s needs. She is entirely devoted to the baby and quickly sees to his every need. She sacrifices her own sleep and her own needs to fulfill the needs of her infant.”

    Not perfect but ‘good enough’

    She notes that this can change as the baby gets older. “As time goes by, however, the mother allows the infant to experience small amounts of frustration. She is empathetic and caring but does not immediately rush to the baby’s every cry. Of course, at first the time limit to this frustration must be very short. She may allow the baby to cry for a few minutes before her nighttime feeding, but only for a few minutes. She is not “perfect,” but she is “good enough” in that the child only feels a slight amount of frustration.”

    @herdotie

    The “good enough parent” 👏⁠ ⁠ Seán Moncrieff joins his daughter Keelin as the first guest on Mother season 3.⁠ ⁠ @kee_mon and her father discuss why letting go of parenting expectations can be one the hardest challenges faced by parents.⁠ ⁠ Other themes explored include generational differences in parenting, the epiphany of first-time parental love, his role as a father in her life, and much more.⁠ ⁠ This is one episode you won’t want to miss! Tune in wherever you get your podcasts 🎧️⁠ ⁠ #keelinmoncrieff #seanmoncrieff #parenting #mother

    ♬ original sound – Herdotie – Herdotie

    Attunement

    Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, shared her view of the idea of attunement with Upworthy:

    “For parents, it can be helpful to step away from the idea of getting parenting ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ In mental health, we often talk about ‘good enough’ parenting, which has attunement at its core. This means being present for our children, noticing their needs, and responding in a way that helps them feel seen and supported. Children don’t need flawless caregivers, but they do need caregivers who’re reliably responsive.”

    She adds how important it is that parents give themselves some grace. “It’s impossible to attune 100% of the time, but as parents we want to be looking to attune to our child’s needs for a good chunk of time. It’s also really important for parents to understand that small ruptures, missed cues, or moments of misattunement are not failures; they’re part of being human. What matters for parents here is how we repair from those moments and model to a child that relationships can stretch and recover.”

    Avoid passing down anxiety

    Alli Spotts-DeLazzer (LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-C) was excited to speak to Upworthy about the concept. “So happy ‘good enough parenting’ is in the spotlight here! I’ve been preaching this ‘good enough’ concept and the mutual growth that can come from it for years now—as a marriage and family therapist and lead author of My Child Has an Eating Disorder.

    In trying to do things perfectly, parents may unintentionally pass down more anxiety and lack of self-trust than they realize. The growth is in the ruptures, the repairs, and the role modeling of the messiness of life and how it gets handled—sometimes beautifully and other times in ways that feel poor. In a world where perfection narratives and images are pushed daily on social media, it takes courage to sit in the mess and make it meaningful. If you want to support resilience in kids, this seems like an empowering direction for parenting to move toward. Even more important, it can reduce polarization and allow more room for nuance, humanity, and growth.”

  • Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids
    Photo credit: Image via Canva/PeopleImagesBoomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.
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    Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

    “I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don’t always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them “excessively gifting” their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

    Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her “Boomer grandparent” experience in a funny and relatable video. “Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of ‘treasures’ into her home,” she wrote in the overlay.

    One mom’s viral video hit a nerve

    Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady’s face is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

    @nps.in.a.pod

    Today’s “treasure” highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery… #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

    ♬ Bad Reputation – Joan Jett

    Grady captioned the video, “Today’s ‘treasure’ highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery…”

    The humorous video resonated with fellow Millennial parents. “Straight to the trash when they leave,” one viewer commented. Another added, “I always say ‘if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours’ .”

    Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. “Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don’t want to be ungrateful but we just don’t need it and don’t have the space. I have brought this up politely in ‘we are all out of drawers for that’ but it hasn’t slowed things down,” one explained. “I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don’t get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead.”

    Another Millennial parent shared, “While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume – as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

    millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize
    Millennial mom struggles to organize her son’s room. Photo credit: Canva/fotostorm

    So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? “Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren,” Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. “These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get.”

    Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the “why” behind the gifting. “What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much,” she explains. “Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions.”

    Other ways grandparents can stay connected

    She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. “Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren,” she suggests.

    She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. “Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents,” says Goodman. “Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites.”

    boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids
    Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids. Photo credit: Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

    Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. “Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over: a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks,” she says. “Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like.”

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

  • Woman goes to great lengths to adopt baby from husband’s ex-wife to save him from foster care
    Christie Werts and her son, Levi

    Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

    The Ohio family became five children strong after officially adopting Levi in January 2023, when he was nearly 2 years old. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

    When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

    “When I heard about Levi, without hesitation, I said we should take him,” Christie said, according to The Daily Mail, and her reason went far beyond the fact that the child was the half-brother to two of her recently adopted children. “I myself was a foster kid and, although for the most part, I had a great experience, I did not want him going to foster care,” Christie said.

    She’d been dreaming of him before he arrived

    Before the family knew of Levi’s birth, Christie had a recurring dream about a blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

    “Before Levi, we had wanted to try to have a child of our own,” she told Newsweek. “I’m in my forties, so we knew that we would probably need fertility treatment, so I thought let’s just think about it and what will be will be.”

    @cjthemom5

    Replying to @Journey♥️ Yes, they will always know of her and ill be there for every emotion good or bad. But im also mom, ive been to every game, every doctors appt, sat with them if they needed an ear loved unconditional . I am mom also. #adoption #srorytime #siblings #foryou #loveislove

    ♬ Paper Birds (3 min) – Jordan Halpern Schwartz

    The problem was that Levi was in Texas, so the family sold their house and moved to the Lone Star State to go through the arduous adoption process. The situation was further complicated because Levi’s biological father had parental rights even though he had substance abuse problems. The family couldn’t move out of Texas until his rights were legally terminated.

    But after a 16-month process, in January 2023, Levi became a legal family member. Christie understands that adopting her husband’s ex-wife’s baby may seem unusual to some people. “It’s a lot to process for a lot of people, but honestly, it seems a lot crazier than it was. At the time, it just made sense,” she said.

    She had doubts, but love won anyway

    @cjthemom5

    Our adoption is official !!! after 17 months!!! #adoption #son #loveyou #ourstory#foryou #fyp

    ♬ original sound – Jenna

    Even though Christie knew in her heart that she must adopt Levi, she wasn’t without reservations. “’If I said I did not [have concerns beforehand], that would not be honest,” she told The Daily Mail. “This was different. I was going to walk into a child I never met and was worried the circumstances would hinder this instant love. But […] he stole my heart. I also felt this intense need to protect him.”

    These days, Levi fits right in with the family, and the rest of the kids are happy to be back to living an everyday life without any caseworkers or inspections.

    “He’s great, he is the king of the house! We are all very close. He won’t understand the journey right now, but someday, I will let him know we fought for him!” Christie said.

    Christie has continued to share her family’s journey on TikTok and has since published a book called Life’s Sad Story, God’s Love Story: Transforming a Child’s Adversity into a Tale of Love about her experiences as a foster child and Levi’s adoption story.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

  • This mom’s controversial parenting take that her kids don’t have to ‘share’ has the Internet divided
    Photo credit: Lottie Weaver/@lottie..weaverMom of three Lottie Weaver explains why she doesn't make her kids share.

    Teaching kids to share is often part of Parenting 101. According to the Cleveland Clinic, educating kids about sharing in early childhood helps them build empathy, fosters social skills, and helps teach them emotional regulation.

    While “sharing is caring,” mom of three daughters Lottie Weaver says she’s teaching her kids that they don’t *always* have to share with others.

    Weaver explained her controversial take and more behind her ‘why.’ “I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share!” she captioned the video.

    @lottie..weaver

    I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share! #momlife #girlmom #momof3 #momsoftiktok #parenting

    ♬ original sound – ✨Lottie✨

    Why her kids don’t have to share

    Weaver starts by stating that her kids “don’t have to share their toys or their snacks or literally any of their things with your kids.”

    She goes on to explain, “If we are out and about at the park or some communal play place, if my kids have a scooter or toy or bubbles, they’re not sharing with your kids. They don’t have to. I will never ever make my kids share their stuff that they brought with another child.”

    The mom of three daughters then offers three reasons for her thinking:

    “Number one: you should’ve brought your own sh*t. Number two: that’s their toy. They don’t have to share with you. Number three: you don’t have to do something just because somebody asks,” she says.

    She elaborates more on her third reason.

    “I think especially for women, that is really important to learn. For girls growing up, just because someone says, ‘Hey can I have this’ or ‘Hey can I do this’…you don’t have to say yes. They should’ve brought their own toys,” she adds.

    @lottie..weaver

    I think you can be a mother and friend at the same time! #momsoftiktok #girlmom #momof3 #momsover30 #momlife

    ♬ original sound – random_stuff

    When to share, and when not to share

    However, Weaver notes that she does not discourage sharing.

    She says, “Now, if my kids want to share, yeah share! But as soon as they’re like, ‘Hey, they’re not giving my stuff back. I’m done sharing’, that’s when my *ss is going over there saying, ‘Cough it up [with a gesturing motion]. Cough it up. Your mommy should have brought you your own toys. We don’t have to share, okay?”

    And Weaver also adds that the venue for sharing also matters.

    “Now if you come to my house for a playdate, that’s very different, right? Because we are welcoming them into our space,” she says. “But if we are out and about, and we don’t know each other very well—even if we do know each other very well, and my kid doesn’t want to share her doll with your kid, she doesn’t have to.”

    @lottie..weaver

    Sometimes they just need a break! The mental health days are the perfect compromise! #momof3 #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #girlmom #daughter

    ♬ Carefree Days – Peaceful Reveries

    Viewers respond with mixed feelings

    Weaver’s video struck a chord with viewers. Some were supportive, while others took issue:

    “I’m so sad as a teacher this is literally the foundation of learning. Made me unfollow 🫠.”

    “Oof🥴 I tell my kids don’t bring toys if you’re not willing to share it.”

    “I disagree. My kiddo will definitely be sharing. ESPECIALLY if another kiddo doesn’t have a toy.”

    “The real flex is raising a child who is friendly, empathetic and WANTS to share.”

    “What an odd thing to say out loud and be proud of. My kids will always be expected to share. Some kids aren’t fortunate enough to have the nice extra things, and I want my kids to be remembered as the sweet ones who were KIND to others.”

    “She’s right tho and yall mad 😭😭😭.”

    “I 100% agree. I teach my kids to share, but that they don’t HAVE to share JUST because someone asks for it.”

    “Adults don’t have to share so why do kids? But … sharing is caring. And it’s always a nice thing to do.”

    “I’m a nanny and I 1,000% agree with you Lottie! We’ve gotten to the point where ppl expect the can just use your stuff at the park. It’s not your toy, they’re allowed to play with their own toy that they brought.”

    “You guys are missing the point. She isn’t saying she’s teaching them to not share… she’s saying she’s teaching them they don’t have to if THEY DONT WANT TO.”

  • ‘It’s not Little Sun’: Mom can’t believe she’s having trouble pronouncing her newborn’s name
    Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

    One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off guard, and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

    This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who went viral in 2024 after having her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either. “I may have named my daughter a name I can’t even pronounce,” Stroup opens the video. “Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I’ve told a couple of people her name, and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don’t know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly.”

    A viral baby name debate no one saw coming

    Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton, and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

    “I’m not gonna enunciate the ‘Ts’ like that. It drives me absolutely nuts,” she noted in her TikTok video. “I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, ‘Oh, that’s cute.’ And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, ‘No, that is not what I said.’”

    Stroup also had a problem with her son Greyson’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. “My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, ‘You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn’t think it was that far off.’”

    Where the name actually came from

    Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. “Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with,” says Stroup. “I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls.”

    The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.

    The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

    “My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

    After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I’ve also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

    “Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

    Now she needs help finding a nickname

    Three months later, Stroup posted a video asking her TikTok followers for help giving Sutton a nickname. She said it was easy with her son, Greyson, because they can just call him Grey. But Sutton is a little more difficult. Her father calls her “Tonton,” which drives Stroup up the wall. “You cannot be calling a girl Tonton,” she exclaimed. Stroup’s followers suggested they call her “Sutty,” but the name she really liked was “Sunny.”

    The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advice on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. “Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name,” she said.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • Seth Rogen was asked if having kids would make him ‘happier.’ He answered honestly.
    Photo credit: WikicommonsSeth Rogan and Laura Miller.

    Breaking news: There’s a big double standard in Hollywood. Childless women in the public eye are often plagued by the question: “So, why don’t you have any children?” It’s a deeply personal question that cuts right to the bone, and there can be many answers. But, if the woman doesn’t want children and says so publicly, she is bound to face some judgment.

    “[I don’t] like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women, that you’ve failed yourself as a female because you haven’t procreated. I don’t think it’s fair,” Jennifer Anistontold Allure. “You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t mothering—dogs, friends, friends’ children.”

    Seth Rogen got the question women always get

    On the Monday, March 6 episode of “The Diary Of A CEO.”podcast, host Steven Bartlett asked actor Seth Rogen why he’s childless, and it was a rare moment where a man in the public eye was challenged on the topic. Rogen gave a thoughtful explanation for his and Lauren Miller’s decision to be child-free.

    “There’s a whole huge thing I’m not doing, which is raising children,” Rogen told Bartlett.The host attempted to play devil’s advocate and asked Rogen if he considered whether having children might have made him and his wife “happier.”

    “I don’t think it would,” Rogen responded.

    Then, as if anticipating the question, the “Pineapple Express” star upended one of the arguments that people who have children often make: that people who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like.

    “I’ve been around obviously a lot of children; I’m not ignorant to what it’s like…Everyone I know has kids. I’m 40, you know? I know,” Rogen said at the time. “Some of my friends have had kids for decades. Some people want kids, some people don’t want kids.” He added that many people seem to have kids without considering the issue.

    “I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I’ve seen, honestly,” he said. “You just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids—it’s what happens.” Rogen and his wife have only grown stronger in their decision and they believe that it has helped their relationship.

    “Now, more than anything, the conversation is like, ‘Honestly, thank God we don’t have children,’” he continued. “We get to do whatever we want. We are in the prime of our lives. We are smarter than we’ve ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another that we’ve never been able to live before. And we can just do that, and we don’t have to raise a child, which the world does not need right now,” Rogen concluded.

    Then came the backlash, and his response

    Rogen received a lot of pushback for his comments, and in a 2025 interview with Esquire, he addressed the criticism and doubled down on his decision. “People really had strong takes on it, being like, ‘F**k this f**king guy,’” he said. “Well, if you hate me that much, why do you want more of me?” He also addressed those who asked, “Who’s going to care for you when you get older?”

    “Is that why you’re having kids? Because I have two things to say: One, that’s very selfish to create a human so someone can take care of you. And two, just because you have a kid, I hate to break it to you, that doesn’t mean they’re going to do that,” he said.

    His answer was more thoughtful than expected

    Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to have children, and no one has the right to judge them. Rogen and Miller have thought their decision through and should be applauded for living how they see fit. It’s cool to see Rogen with such a thoughtful opinion on the matter. It’d be even cooler if celebrities never had to discuss the topic in the first place.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Man seeking divorce changes mind after losing high-paying job. Wife has a perfect response.
    A very angry woman.

    A husband filed for divorce from his wife and burned bridges in the process by making incredibly disrespectful remarks to her. This came 10 months after she had their second child (the couple has six, in total). After losing his high-paying job, he turned course and asked her to take him back again. Should she take him back, given his lot in life, or hold firm and say good riddance to bad rubbish?

    How it all fell apart

    The situation came to a head when the husband demanded that his wife, who had a 10-month-old baby, stay in the house, instead of taking her child to a dentist appointment. She went anyway, and then the man slept in his game room for two months. He told everyone that he was divorcing his wife and went so far as to contact an attorney.

    “He told me I was not the prize. I’m almost 40 and have four kids, three of whom are minors. He said he’s the prize, he’s in his prime, and makes good money, and any woman would love to be in my shoes and take care of his kids. He even went as far as inviting his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out,” the woman wrote on Reddit.

    The situation changed, and so did his tune

    “Fast forward, he loses his job and telling me to wait to move. He then starts talking nicer to me and acting differently than before,” she wrote. So what was the wife to do, take back the man who said that she was “not the prize” and that he was desirable because he had a high-paying job? Nope. She stood her ground and said he needed to leave. “I told him I was still moving out and going forward with separating because his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me,” she wrote.

    The woman then asked the commenters if she was right to follow through with what her husband started. The commenters were overwhelmingly on her side. “He said he was done, so let’s be done, even if now it’s an inconvenience for him,” one of the top commenters wrote. “Sounds like YOU are the prize after all, because he’s an unemployed AH who’s soon to be unable to rent an apartment because he doesn’t have a job. Hope his parents live close by and can take him in.”

    The therapists weigh in

    Upworthy spoke with Paige Harley, MA, a cPaige Harley, MA, a conflict expert and mediator specializing in high-conflict divorce and custody issues. She says the woman shouldn’t feel any guilt for her actions. “Absolutely never a reason to feel guilty about setting boundaries. However, make sure you are clear about what a boundary is and specifically what yours are,” Harley told Upworthy. “It’s hard and you will need to be the ‘bigger person’ but your future self will thank you—as you are setting the tone for what comes next.”

    Dr. Nari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist and associate teaching professor at Florida State University, and co-host of The Coupled Podcast, says there’s nothing wrong with separating, but that’s just the first step. “I would say that this woman is not in the wrong for sticking to the boundary of separation. It clearly reinforces to him that he cannot threaten the safety and stability of the relationship without a consequence,” Dr. Jeter told Upworthy. “The deeper issue is, can she separate herself from his view of reality and their marriage? Just because he says these things to her, it doesn’t make them true. She may need to accept that he says these things to himself and others about her, but they aren’t true–and that defending herself to him will likely get her nowhere.”

    She stayed true to herself and stood her ground

    Unfortunately, the woman had to deal with a verbally abusive man who isn’t supportive of her or their combined six children. But what’s great to see is that after her husband tried to knock her down a peg and then leave her, she stood her ground and would not take him back. There’s no doubt that she also felt great support from the 1,300 people who commented on the page, with nearly all of them supporting her decision.

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

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