Man lists 8 not fun, but very important things you need to start doing as an adult.

“Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

adulthood, life hacks, life advice
Photo credit: @johnfluenzer/TikTok8 things you should be doing as an adult. Spoiler alert—none of them are fun.

Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.

But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.

Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.


John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.

1. Getting an annual doctor visit.

annual checkup
young woman visiting her doctor Canva

This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”

2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.

dentist near me
Woman at the dentist Canva

“Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it’s better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.

As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn’t want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.

…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.

“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.

Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.

Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.

Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…

3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.

std check, std clinic
an image of STD tests Canva

“If you’re uncomfortable with your GP, or you don’t have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it’s better to know,” he said.

4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot.”

vaccine near me
A man having just got a vaccine. Canva

“We’re talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you’re under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It’s three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.

And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.

5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.

pep near me
Image of pills Canva

For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.

Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.

6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.

rent prices, apartment near me
Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent. Canva

John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month.”

“It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that’s important,” he added. “But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time.”

7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.

cheap cellphone, lowering cellphone bill
Woman holding a cellphone Canva

“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?” he said. “I don’t care if it’s any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you’re under no contract—you have so much freedom.”

Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.

8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.

netflix, hbo, showtime, hulu
There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time. Canva

This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.

“You don’t need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever… you don’t need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu… All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like ‘My List.’ And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.

What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.

“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.

Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.

“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”

You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.

Watch the full video below:

@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound – John

This article originally appeared on 12.10.23

  • Married couple says the ‘3-Hour Night’ hack has totally improved their marriage
    Photo credit: @racheleehiggins/TikTokWant out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.
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    Married couple says the ‘3-Hour Night’ hack has totally improved their marriage

    “It’s been so fun and such…a game changer for how our evenings go.”

    Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast-paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode of your favorite show on Netflix.

    And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things. According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.

    bored, couple, marriage hack, man ywaning, concerned woman
    A couple that has lost their spark. via Canva/Photos

    What is the 3-Hour Night marriage hack?

    The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives back in early 2024. And so far, “it’s been so fun and such…a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

    Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

    But with a three-hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three sections, each for a different focus. In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

    @rachelleehiggins

    if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals

    ♬ original sound – Rachel Higgins

    The hack put to into action

    “So, start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either … has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that’s productive for the household,” she explains.

    Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

    “So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that’s gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you’re doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how work’s going or whatever. So, anything that’s gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

    Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated to anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity. Since this is a judgment-free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lie on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever, like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

    But can you really do this every night?

    Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly, even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

    happy coupe, couple in bed, young married couple, man with beard, smiling woman
    A happy couple in bed. Photo credit: Canva

    “Such a good idea. Good for us empty nesters too! The phone scrolling is outta control!” one commenter wrote. “This is really cool. The housework is equal. The emotional connection is equal and the self care is equal. No room for resentment,” another added. “We don’t have kids yet but I love this and want to do it because the nights slip away so fast!!” a commenter added.

    Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

    Making your relationship a priority

    Plus, a three-hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high a priority your relationship has in your life, no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you’ll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • “He’s a baby genius”: 3-month-old stuns mom by perfectly repeating full sentences
    Photo credit: Canva3-month-old baby repeats full sentences, shocking mom and social media.
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    “He’s a baby genius”: 3-month-old stuns mom by perfectly repeating full sentences

    The boy’s sister couldn’t believe her ears and began sobbing uncontrollably.

    Babies can’t talk. This isn’t something that needs to be studied and researched, it’s a pretty common fact of human existence. The reasons babies cry is because they can’t talk to tell us what they need, at least that’s what the general understanding has been for centuries. Not only their brains, but their bodies lack the development and coordination needed to form complete words and sentences.

    But what if some babies could talk and we simply haven’t been exposed to them because the world is so big? Thanks to social media, the world has gotten a whole lot smaller when it comes to being able to take a peek into other people’s lives. This means we get to be exposed to things that may otherwise gone unseen.

    Wait, did that baby just talk?

    Mekeia, a mom of two, uploaded a video of her then 3-month-old son talking. Not the cute baby babble that we like to call talking, but repeating actual short sentences.

    @foxondemand

    Watch until the end 😱omg🥹🥰!!

    ♬ original sound – foxondemand

     Mekeia was recording her daughter playing with the baby when they captured the moment on video.

    The little girl holds the baby’s face and says, “say I am two months,” before Mekeia corrects her, “say I am three months,” the little girl pipes back up. Clearly the baby was trying to join in the conversation with what was expected to be baby babble when the mom instructed the older child to let the baby have a chance to “talk.” It was then that the baby shocked everyone by sounding like he repeated the same phrase.

    The two are visibly and audibly shocked not wanting to believe the baby actually repeats what the other child says. Mekeia is on the phone with a friend when the entire thing happens. Presumably thinking this is a fluke, the mom attempts to put the phone up to the baby’s mouth. When he just babbles, she tells the baby, “say hey Bam.” Nothing. Just more babble and drool.

    This was no fluke

    Just when you think your ears were playing tricks on you, the baby does it again when the mom tells him to say, “hey Quintin.” Clearly the baby still sounds like a baby but you can clearly hear him repeating the sound and cadence of the words so much so that it sounds like he’s fully saying the words. His older sister is overwhelmed with emotion and begins to cry while Mekeia seems to be so shocked that she begins to laugh while the person on the phone is just stunned into confusion.

    People in the comments were eager to jump in with exclaiming the baby is a genius with one person writing, “he is a baby genius start showing him math problems.”

    Another person jokes, “next thing he’s writing emails and making appointments.”

    “Talking so clear would scare me sooo bad he’s so intelligent,” someone writes.

    There’s actually a name for this

    Others explain the phenomenon with a condition called echolalia.

    “Echolalia is a normal part of child development. As children learn to talk and understand words, they imitate, copy or echo the sounds and words they hear. Over time, a child usually learns to talk by connecting new words together to make unique little phrases or sentences,” according to Speech and Language Advisor Claire Smith when interviewed by the BBC.

    Sometimes this phenomenon rears its head extraordinarily early. Mekeia’s daughter was just three months old in the video above. Another popular video from a few years ago shows an 8-week-old infant from the UK very clearly saying the word “Hello” in response to his parents. A 7-week-old from Ireland was shown doing the same in 2015.

    While echolalia can be a sign of autism, that’s not always the case. Many kids grow out of it by the age of three and continue their typical development.

    And then there are the real prodigies

    What’s really interesting is when kids start to actually understand and utilize language intentionally at an extremely early age. A boy named Michael Kevin Kearney was said to be talking by around 4-months-old, even asking his parents “What’s for dinner?” He went on to become a certified child prodigy, received a masters degree in biochemistry at just 14, and pursued a doctorate in chemistry at Middle Tennessee State University.

    Most babies who repeat words shockingly early are not little geniuses in the making, just good mimics. Much of the time, they’re not able to consistently repeat the feat once the clip goes viral on social media.

    But you can’t blame the parents, and social media users, for getting excited. It’s adorable and fascinating to watch in action!

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits
    Photo credit: via Canva/PhotosAn older woman holding a suitcase.
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    Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits

    “Should grandmas be the ones on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her?”

    When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.

    However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.

    @grandmacampplanner

    Is it Grandma’s job to travel to the kids, or should the family come to her? 👀 Let’s hear it—#GrandmaCamp #FamilyDebate #momsoftiktok #GrandmaLife #HolidayTravel

    ♬ original sound – GrandmaCamp™ 💜by Grandma Jan™

    “Okay, so, here’s the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don’t you come visit us?’ But let’s be honest, Grandma’s house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it’s time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

    So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.

    “Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.

    Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.

    @grandmacampplanner

    Disclaimer: My last post was meant to spark conversation, not advice. It came from what I witnessed as an OT — older grandmas struggling to travel alone. Every family is different ❤️ #GrandmaCampByGrandmaJan #FamilyDecisions #GrandmaLife #OTperspective #momsoftiktok

    ♬ original sound – GrandmaCamp™ 💜by Grandma Jan™

    The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle.”

    Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it’s about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Do you think its better to have a ‘living room family’ or a ‘bedroom family’?
    Photo credit: via alexxx1915/TikTokA family having fun together in the living room.

    TikTok user alexxx1915 recently posted a short video with the caption: “I just learned the term ‘living room family’ and I never understood why my kids never played in their rooms when I always did as a kid.” She briefly shows her kids hanging out in the living room with their pet dog and some toys scattered around the floor, before panning to her own face and giving a sort of sentimental look. The simple, ten-second clip struck a huge nerve with parents, racking up over 25 million views and thousands of heartfelt comments.

    What are ‘living room families’ and ‘bedroom families’?

    This idea has been going around for a while on social media.

    Simply put, a living room family is a family that congregates in the living room, or any common space in the household. Kids play in the same space where the adults relax and things are often messy, as a result. Everyone interacts with each other and spends lots of time together. Bedrooms are reserved mostly for sleeping and dressing.

    A bedroom family, on the other hand, is where the kids spend more time in their rooms. They play there, watch TV, and maybe even eat meals. Typically, the main rooms of the house are kept neat and tidy. You won’t find a lot of toys scattered about, and family time spent together is more structured and planned ahead rather than casual.

    A living room family is more communal

    A family congregates in their living room. Canva Photos

    In my household, we’re definitely a living room family. We’re around each other constantly, and the house is often a mess because of it. Learning about this term makes me feel a little better that my kids want to be around us and feel comfortable enough to get their ‘play mess’ all over the living room. The mess is a sign of the love and comfort we all share together.

    There’s so much that’s great about having a family that lives out in the open, especially if you were raised feeling like you had to hide in your room.

    “I thought my kids hated their rooms turns out they like me more” said another. “You broke a generational curse. Good job mama!” said yet another.

    The implication of being a bedroom family, or having ‘room kids’, is that perhaps they don’t feel safe or comfortable or even allowed to take up room in the rest of the house, or to be around the adults. “I remember my brother coming round once and he just sat in silence while watching my kids play in the living room. After a while he looked at me and said ‘It’s so nice that your kids want to be around you’” one commenter said on alexxx1915’s video.

    A bedroom family enjoys some alone time

    A boy in his bedroom playing a guitar. Canva Photos

    Being a bedroom family is by no means a bad thing. In fact, alone time is important for parents and kids alike, and everyone needs different amounts of it to thrive. Kids with certain special needs, like being on the autism spectrum, may be absolutely thrilled to spend lots of time in their rooms, for example.

    But it really doesn’t have to be one or the other, and neither is necessarily better. Making your kids feel relegated to their room is, obviously, not great. It’s not a good thing if they feel like they’re not allowed to exist in and play in the rest of the house. But if they just like hanging out in their room? Nothing wrong with that at all. And same goes for parents.

    In 2023, there was a similar debate on TikTok where parents sounded off on whether they were bedroom parents or living room parents. In this situation, the parents spent the majority of the time in their bedroom, while the kids were in the living room, or they spend time in the living room with their kids. According to Marissa Kile, the video’s creator, this made the parents’ bedroom feel like a “scared space” where the kids didn’t feel comfortable.

    @maroo927

    I DONT hang out in my room.. its just a sleeping zone. Anyone else? #sleepzone #donthangout #herdofkids #fyp #sahm #foryoupage #missouri

    ♬ original sound – MaRoo927

    Of course, every household is different and the right answer is the one that works for them. And if you feel like living on the edge, you can always just be both.

    This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.

  • Big brother steps in for his sister’s father-daughter dance and then steals the show
    Photo credit: @patrice_thomps/Instagram Best brother ever.
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    Big brother steps in for his sister’s father-daughter dance and then steals the show

    “I don’t know if he knows what an impact he’s making as her big brother, but she’ll never forget this.”

    Even for the parents who prioritize showing up for their kids, missing a child’s event now and then might be unavoidable. But certain occasions are more painful than others when a parent can’t show up, and fatherless father-daughter dances undoubtedly fall into this category.

    In June 2024, a work commitment kept Harper’s dad from attending her dance studio’s annual summer showcase, which meant the six-year-old was at risk of missing out on the father-daughter dance entirely.

    An act of brotherly love  

    Thankfully, her brother Micah, who was 14 at the time, is the coolest brother in the world and stepped up to take her dad’s place so she wouldn’t miss out.

    In a mega-viral video posted to Instagram by Harper and Micah’s mom, Patrice Thompson, we see the duo having a blast as they twirl in circles, fist bump, and end with an adorable lift for their “Barbie and Ken” themed routine.

    “Core memory for the team today,” Thompson wrote in the caption. “I don’t know if he knows what an impact he’s making as her big brother, but she’ll never forget this.”

    The big brother warms hearts in the comments 

    Micah didn’t just have an impact on Harper. So many people left comments sharing how impressed and moved they were by his kindness.

    “In a world of boys he is a gentleman,” one person wrote, referencing a Taylor Swift lyric.

    Another offered a touching truth, writing, “As a man whose dad walked away from me, this makes me so emotional. You are raising your son to be the cycle breaker. He won’t end up repeating cycles of toxic masculinity like so many of the men we see today. He will be a better man. And his little sister will grow up knowing what a real man should be like, because she has her big brother to show her.”

    One comment commended Micah for stepping out of his comfort zone, saying, “Bless his sweet heart. I know how big that is for a 14 year old to put himself out there. Major props!”

    “Watching him lift her up at the end got me i can’t lie i teared up ” another shared.

    “As a girl who had my older brother participate in my “father-daughter” dances for drill team in high school, this made me soo emotional! this is a special moment they will remember forever,” reminisced another.

    And perhaps the best (and truest) comment of them all, was this one: “Does your son know he’s a legend?”

    Good Morning America sure does.

    Mom is proud but not surprised

     In an interview with Newsweek, Thompson shared that while she is “so proud” of her son, especially since most boys his age “would rather do anything else than perform a routine in front of their peers and during summer when he could be off with friends.” However, she is “not super surprised” by what he did. “That’s the young man he is!” she exclaimed, adding “he truly understands the meaning of being selfless.”

    Here’s the family all together: Mom, Dad, Micah, Harper, and the newest addition born earlier this year, baby Christian. Hopefully the new baby boy knows he won the sibling lottery.

    To all the brothers who would show up for their siblings in this way – thank you. Your generosity and compassion really do help make the world a better place, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Mom plans entire family vacation but is met with nothing but complaints. Other moms rallied.
    Photo credit: @themillennialvoice/TikTokAlexis Scott talks to the camera
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    Mom plans entire family vacation but is met with nothing but complaints. Other moms rallied.

    “Just Irish goodbye one morning, go to brunch alone, hit the spa or a pool and come home after dinner.”

    Even for those who enjoy the thrill of making vacation itineraries…it’s work. And obviously when the planning has to be done for an entire family, there’s even more effort needed to be put in. Imagine going through all the rigamarole of booking flights, hotels, rental cars, restaurant reservations, entertainment venues, last minute store runs for toiletries…without getting so much as a “thank you.”

    Odds are you’d be a little miffed, even if planning is your thing. This was the scenario that a mom Alexis Scott found herself in after planning a summer vacation for her husband and two teen children. Thankfully, the now-viral TikTok post venting her frustrations inspired several folks to give her some much deserved support.

    In the video, Scott began, “I’m on a family vacation right now with my two teenagers and my husband. We flew in late last night. We think we got in at like 12:15 a.m. and headed to get a rental car and then got to our Airbnb. And I am frustrated.”

    Scott had tried and tried to get any input from her family about what they might want to do, and each time got the same reply: “‘Whatever you want, mom. I don’t care. Okay. I don’t care.’”

    “Great. Glad I’m planning this vacation for everybody to not care,” Scott lamented.

    Still, she did the planning because someone had to do it. But as soon as the vacation started, all her decisions were met with complaints. From being called “cheap” for getting too small of an SUV rental car to being told “Mom is never going to be in charge of booking the Airbnb again. She can’t even this, that and the other,’” after the family found out their AirBnb was three stories with quite a few stairs.

    “Then this morning, we wake up and it’s an urban setting. We live in a very quiet suburban setting and my husband’s saying how he barely slept and this and that. And I’m just like, enough!” she said.

    All of this happened within the first 24 hours of the trip. It’s easy to see why Scott needed to vent.

    Her video concluded with:

    I have been the only one to put in all the effort in planning this trip. And I know there’s videos on mental load, but this is prime time example of me. I’m shouldering the mental load for my entire family and everybody has something to say about it. So, yeah, I’m frustrated. Please pray for me that we can all turn our attitudes around and have a great day.”

    mental load, motherhood, family vacation, invisible labor, weaponized incompetence
    A family enjoying a vacation together. Photo Credit: Canva

    The internet had her back immediately

    Down in the comments, viewers could totally empathize with Scott for feeling burnt out and disappointed.

    “Oh gosh the mental load of planning every detail and then knowing if something goes wrong or isn’t perfect it’s all on you. Been there,” one person shared.

    Another added, “I tell my husband that I haven’t been on vacation since I was a child and he’s alway confused bc to him, ‘we’ go on vacation every year. Only other moms would understand what I mean.”

    Many suggested that she do something for herself instead.

    “Just Irish goodbye one morning, go to brunch alone, hit the spa or a pool and come home after dinner,” one person wrote.

    “Go and do whatever you want to do!! Spa day sounds perfect and take yourself out for fabulous meals!!” echoed another.

    On a positive note: this story does have a happy ending. In a follow-up video, Scott shared how she showed her family the TikTok video she made, and it did turn things around.

    @alexisriverascott

    Replying to @thisisntaboutme 🍉🍉🍉 absolutelt no apology video… but they listened to my feelings and we have had a good day so far ❤️🙏🏼 #momsoftiktok #grateful #teenagers #millennial #millennialmom #vacation #travel

    ♬ original sound – Alexis | 40+ Millennial Life

    “We have actually had a really, really great day today,” she said. “Everyone has had positive attitudes. I’ve heard a lot of thank you’s and my kids have been buying their little side purchases with their own money and not even asking me to pay for it… but they have been really self-sufficient in that space.”

    All in all, Scott recognizes that her family is “human,” and a big part of being human is apologizing when a mistake is made and moving forward.

    “We love each other. This was a learning experience.”

    How to make family vacation planning actually work

    The thing is, when families do the travel planning together, it often ends up being a more rewarding experience for everyone. There are lots of ways to go about it, like watching movies featuring the upcoming locale, having every family member choose one activity, selecting lodging as a group, voting from a handful of selected excursions, etc.

    Of course, this requires willing participation for every family member, which is what Scott (like many other moms) certainly did not have. But hopefully other moms facing this same laissez-faireness can whip up this video to inspire some gumption into their vacation companions.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • 20-year-old woman agreed to a closed adoption for her baby, then got a wonderful surprise
    Photo credit: via CBS News/YouTube A journal detailing Steven Schoebinger's young life.
    ,

    20-year-old woman agreed to a closed adoption for her baby, then got a wonderful surprise

    Opening up a closed adoption is a risky decision. For this family, it paid off.

    At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.

    When Schauna Austin was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption.

    She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family. So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.

    “It was perfect,” Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. “I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn’t sleep for three days.” It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.

    The beginning of an unlikely journey

    Riley was placed with Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger through a closed adoption, and they decided to rename him Steven.

    In a closed adoption, the birth mother, Austin, would not receive any information about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents. Usually, the birth parents have a good deal of input over whether they prefer to have regular contact or not with the adoptive family.

    However, about a week later, the Schoebingers made a major decision.

    The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. They wanted to officially open the closed adoption.

    You can imagine that it’s a big and potentially risky decision for adoptive parents to bring in a birth parent. It could complicate things, stir up difficult feelings, or even bring conflict into their lives. But the Schoebingers weren’t worried about any of that.

    “It was like, ‘OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,’” Jennifer told CBS News.

    “You know, you can’t have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn’t he be both of ours?” Chris added.

    A life documented in books and photos

    Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven’s journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.

    adoption, parenting, open adoption, closed adoption, moms, fathers, kids, family, modern families, adoptees
    The Schoebingers sent Steven’s mother photos every year until the two were ready to meet. Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

    The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and his biological mother taught him to fish. The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. “I was blessed beyond words,” Austin said. “I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure,” Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents. It’s considered the standard these days unless there are specific reasons why it’s in the best interest of the child to have the adoption be closed.

    Steven is now 28 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named…wait for it…Riley. Austin, herself, is now a grandmother.

    The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support.

    The emotional response to their story

    People on social media were incredibly moved by the story. Dozens of commenters chimed in on YouTube to express their gratitude for the families involved:

    “Steven’s adoptive parents are WONDERFUL! They weren’t selfish, and did what was best for STEVEN, His dad said it best—–the more love a child has, the better. His bio mom lucked out with this special couple as well, especially when they sent her the books each year! This story was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!” one user wrote.

    “Speaks volumes of his adoptive parents and also the love of his natural mother to make the hardest decision on earth,” another said.

    “Thank you for including the birth mom in the raising of your son. I’m adopted and it was a closed one. the struggle of not knowing your birth parents is real. I just spent my first Christmas in 56 years with my Ukrainian birth family. Full circle family is love. Oh what a ride!” someone added.

    Ultimately, Chris Schoebinger, the adoptive dad, said it best:

    “I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don’t need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side,” Chris said.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Why parents should be celebrating the Gen Z ‘boy kibble’ craze
    Photo credit: Canva(Left)Mom prepares healthy meal and (Right) teenager eats junk food.

    Parents might have noticed their teens feasting on a plain bowl of meat and rice. The ‘boy kibble’ craze started as a simple joke to get likes on social media. Kids are now consuming the same meal every day, no complaints.

    Parents can spend years of time and energy attempting to fix how their kids eat. But this viral trend offers an opportunity to embrace a different strategy: work with what they already want to do and make it healthier.

    The good and bad story of ‘boy kibble’

    The trending three-meals-a-day, seven-days-a-week meal plan is one simple dish on repeat. A bowl consisting of meat, usually beef, for the high iron and protein, and rice. That’s it.

    Teens like it so much because it’s straightforward, easy to prepare, and removes some of the obstacles to healthy eating. It can take a lot of time to learn how to make a tasty, healthy meal.

    Healthline reported that the trend is inexpensive and offers young men interested in muscle building a basic high-protein meal. Nutrition experts agree that the dish provides important nutrients. However, without modification, it has nutritional gaps. Even eating very healthy foods without variety leads to deficiencies.

    Dr. Sanjai Thankachen, medical director at New Leaf Detox, explained how some eating habits can be concerning. “If eating patterns become very restrictive or tied to body image concerns, it may signal disordered eating, which is an unhealthy relationship with food and weight.”

    However, Thankachen does recognize the value and draw for teens, “Trends like ‘boy kibble’ often appeal to teenagers because they simplify decision-making. Fewer choices can reduce stress and make it easier to meet basic nutrition goals, especially protein intake. That part can be useful.”

    Parents can use the trend to their own advantage

    The simple truth is that ‘boy kibble’ is much healthier than typical teen diets. Avoiding highly processed foods, sodas, fast food, and sugary snacks and replacing them with more protein and consistency is a positive step in the right direction.

    The Society of Behavioral Medicine suggests consistency beats chaos trends like skipping meals or binging junk food. Regular eating patterns offer better energy, nutrition, and brain function, especially in teens.

    There is a real, hidden parenting upside to this new eating plan, too. A psychiatrist, Sam Zand, told Upworthy the trend was a strong starting point for modeling healthier eating habits. “One approach is by taking advantage of the ‘trend’ and have your teen continue to use easy and independent meal options, while incorporating more variety and nutritional quality.”

    Zand continues, “This will also provide parents the opportunity to model how to have a flexible, unrestricted approach to eating, which can buffer their children from developing a negative self-image and/or problems with physical and/or emotional health at a later age.”

    Teens adopt simple systems

    A 2025 study in the National Library of Medicine found adolescence was the critical window during which diet shapes lifelong health outcomes. Parents have a little over a decade to encourage imperfect, but better habits. Basic protein and carbs, not fast food, can have a lasting, long-term impact.

    Parents understand that guiding teens in the right direction takes a strategic and patient skill set. A 2024 study in Frontiers found that overcontrolling parents led to worse eating habits. Parents who provide structure and support while allowing some autonomy bring healthier eating habits.

    @noahwdumbbells

    this was amazing and is not to be mistaken with bear dinner, as that would include berries and honey If you want help getting in the best shape of your life dm me “START” no gimmicks, just results #gym #bodybuilding #Fitness #fitnesscoach #workout

    ♬ Main Titles (You’ve Been Called Back to Top Gun) – Harold Faltermeyer & Lady Gaga & Hans Zimmer & Lorne Balfe

    A simple step up to your kids’ kibble plan

    Teens don’t fail at nutrition because they’re apathetic or don’t care. They struggle because food choices can be overwhelming, and healthy options aren’t the easiest to make. It’s exactly why ‘boy kibble’ is so appealing.

    These are some simple suggestions to encourage a step up to the kibble plan:

    • Stock the freezer with frozen veggies
    • Buy more healthy sauces instead of sugar-based ones that high in preservatives
    • Have pre-cut veggies available
    • Keep a variety of pre-cooked proteins
    • Store up on microwaveable grain options like Quinoa blends, Couscous, and Farro
    • Let them keep the ‘boy kibble’ and avoid shaming the repetition

    Sometimes these healthy habits don’t start with perfect choices. Workable choices, however, can be easy for parents to get behind. How can you make what they’re already willing to eat a little better?

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