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Seven amazing trends the media ignores that'll make you feel great about the future

human progress, best time to live, cato institute

Is now the best time to be alive?

Fatal shooting on a movie set. The former president is attacking secretaries of state. The body of a missing man is found to be a murder suspect. Energy prices are rising and could lead to social unrest. Cargo ships are stuck in the harbor.

A quick scan of America's most popular news websites shows a country that appears to be on the brink of chaos. But if you picked up a newspaper in 1972 or 1998 you'd probably come away with the same feeling.

Humans have such unquenchable hunger for hearing about crime, scandals and political turmoil that the news media rarely tells us what's going right in the world.

War always grabs the headline over peace. Economic crises always get more headlines than prosperity, and the storm always receives more press than the calm before it.

At Upworthy, we have a bias toward sharing stories that highlight the best of humanity to help counter the barrage of negativity that comes from traditional media outlets. So we wanted to shine a light on another organization that's doing the same.



Human Progress was created by the Cato Institute after the economic downturn in 2008 to counter the prevailing pessimism of the times. It's a reminder of the power of a free and open society at a time when America's core institutions are being questioned.

Over the past 13 years, the site has compiled a data bank of information from literacy rates and hunger rates to studies on the environment, war, peace and violence. It also recently released a book, "Ten Global Trends Every Smart Person Should Know."

We talked with Chelsea Follett, the managing editor at Human Progress, about the media's negativity bias and why it's crucial to promote the positive trends happening in the world.

Follett doesn't believe that the media is insidious, but that humans have a number of psychological biases that predispose us toward pessimism.

"Historically, obviously our ancestors in a primitive environment who overreacted to danger were more likely to survive than those who underreacted," Follett told Upworthy. "But there is a point where unwarranted panic can actually be detrimental to your survival, if you abandon policies or institutions that are actually working, or that have allowed you to make tremendous progress in the past.

"There's also the nature of the media," she added. "Obviously sudden, noteworthy and rare events are the ones that make headlines, whereas long-term slow, steady, incremental progress is just not as interesting."

Follett says that the American public has been kept in the dark over the incredible steps that the country has made to reduce crime over the past five decades.

"Crime is near historic lows in the United States. It's been falling and falling. We did see a small uptick last year, but we're nowhere close to where it was 30 years ago," she said.

If Follett could shout one truth about human progress from the rooftops, it'd be humans' incredible capacity for innovation.

"You're able to solve so many problems and whatever problems we face whether it's climate change or a global pandemic," she said, "the key seems to be giving people the freedom to cooperate and find solutions."

Here are seven of the most encouraging trends reported by Human Progress.

1. The middle class is shrinking, but it's because Americans are getting richer.

via Unsplash

The middle class, it turns out, is shrinking. But not because more people are falling into poverty, as some politicians and pundits might have you believe. Rather, it's shrinking because more people are "moving on up," and ascending into a higher income bracket.

The U.S. economy has been on shaky ground since COVID-19 hit, but the overall trend shows more and more Americans are movin' on up.

According to the most recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2018, more than 30% of U.S. households earned over $100,000 (i.e., the upper class). Fewer than 30% of households earned between $50,000 and $100,000 (i.e., the middle class). The share of U.S. households making at least $100,000 has more than tripled since 1967, when just 9% of all U.S. households earned that much (all figures are adjusted for inflation).

2. Extreme poverty rates are on a steep decline throughout the world.

via Julien Harneis/Flickr

In 1981, 44.3% of the world lived in extreme poverty (i.e., less than $1.90 per person per day). In 2015, it was 9.6%, a 78% decline.

In East Asia, a region of the world that includes China, 80.6% of people lived in extreme poverty. Today, 4.1% do—a 95% reduction. Even in sub-Saharan Africa, a relatively underperforming region, the share of the population living on less than $1.90 per day dropped by 38%.

Why are people in developing nations doing so much better these days? A major reason is a rise in international trade. The movement of capital, people and goods around the globe has increased dramatically since the '80s.

Extreme poverty is also on the decline due to an increase in the "rule of law" in developing nations to protect people and their property. Improvements in public health, infrastructure and technology have also been a big aid to developing nations.

3. Far fewer people are dying in war.

via Human Progress

While war deaths are certainly more visible than ever, with television and the internet bringing scenes of flag-draped coffins into our living rooms, far fewer people ever see battle firsthand. After adjusting for population growth, the data shows that despite the noted exception of the World Wars, battle deaths have become rarer since 1900.

In fact, today there are fewer military personnel as a share of the population than at any time since 1932. The world may seem chaotic, but the data shows a more optimistic story.

4. America's incarceration rate is at the lowest level since 1995.

via Pixabay


The United States incarcerates a larger percentage of its population than any other country. Mass incarceration is responsible for destroying families and reducing mobility for marginalized groups.

The good news is that in 2019, the U.S. incarceration rate fell to its lowest level since 1995, according to recently published data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), the statistical arm of the Department of Justice.

At year-end 2019, an estimated 6,344,000 persons were under the supervision of adult correctional systems in the United States, about 65,200 fewer persons than the year before.

A major reason for the decline in incarcerated Americans is the steep decline in violent and property crimes over the past few decades. The nationwide arrest rate has also been falling steadily.

5. Violent crime has dropped like a rock.


Even though the news media and politicians would like people to think otherwise, the number of Americans who've reported violent crime has been cut in half since 1990. The problem is that regardless of how much safer America has become, public perception has only gone in the opposite direction.

One study out of California found that the more local news one consumes, the greater one's perception of risk and fear.

"The news is not going to report on things that are going really well very often," Meghan Hollis, a research scholar at the Ronin Institute for Independent Scholarship, told FiveThirtyEight.

"You can have people perceiving areas of cities as much more violent than they actually are because that's what they see in the news," she said. "It really amplifies that view of criminal activity beyond what it really is."

6. COVID-19 forced many to work from home where they are happier and more productive.

via Pixabay

Many people were forced into working from home due to the pandemic, but it looks like the unforeseen change may have incredible benefits for workers and employers everywhere.

Research has found that remote workers are happier, more productive, take fewer breaks and have greater loyalty to their employers. So the dramatic rise in telework amid the pandemic has the potential to make a positive difference in many people's lives, reshaping everything from how we work to where we live.

7. We're making tremendous progress in the fight against malaria, AIDS and other diseases.

via Marco Verch

While the world has been focused on eradicating COVID-19, we've also been making huge strides in the fight against malaria and AIDS. Thanks to better treatments and preventive measures, the malaria death rate dropped from 12.6 per 100,000 in 1990 to 8.2 per 100,000 in 2017.

The number of people who die of AIDS every year, as well as the number of those infected, is now half of when the disease was at its peak. The HIV pandemic peaked in the mid-2000s when some 1.9 million people died of AIDS each year. In 2017, less than 1 million died from the sickness. In the mid-1990s, there were some 3.4 million new HIV infections each year. In 2017, there were only 1.8 million new infections.

Pets

Pets support us, let's support them.

In honor of Pet Wellness Month, here are three small ways to fuel your furry friends.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
True

There are few things that boost our mental health more than owning a pet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, pets offer unconditional love, the ability to lower stress, and the opportunity to build a community with other pet lovers. Pets support our mental health in dozens of ways, every single day. But how do we care for them in return?

In partnership with Nulo, we’re celebrating Pet Wellness Month this October by highlighting the small, meaningful ways pet parents fuel their fur babies’ happiness and health. We asked readers: “What’s one small thing you do that makes a big difference for your pet?” The best answers win a custom pet portrait, a wellness care package courtesy of Nulo, and a donation to their local pet shelter.


Of all the hilarious and heartfelt answers we got, three of them stood out. Here are the winning responses and three examples of how you, too, can make a huge difference for your pet in small, simple ways.

Keeping their bodies strong

Meet Tee: He’s a loyal, playful ball of energy that helps his owner, Jailon, by bringing joy and calm to his life every day. To show Tee love, Jailon prioritizes physical health and emotional wellness. For exercise, Jailon makes sure Tee has daily walks, playtime, and making sure his diet is balanced with high-quality, nutritious food (Nulo being one of his favorites).

But emotional wellness is equally important. “One small thing I do that makes a big difference for my pet is setting aside dedicated connection time every day,” Jailon says. “No phones, no distractions, just us. The time helps us bond and keeps Tee’s mind active and healthy.”

Communication is key

Mary Ann’s dog Aiden was rescued from her local Humane Society, and as a former stray, the beginning of their relationship wasn’t always easy.

“Aiden was so scared that he would sleep in a corner or under a bed. My husband and I had to sleep with him on the floor until we gained his trust,” Mary Ann said. To soothe his separation anxiety, Mary Ann started talking to him regularly.

“I started telling him, ‘mommy is going to work,’ or ‘mommy will be back’ and he started to understand,” she said.

Amazingly, Aiden responded. Now, his anxiety has improved and their bond is stronger than ever. Aiden still relishes the gentle words of affirmation that Mary Ann continues to give him.

“His face is so expressive and his smile melts our hearts,” she said. “We get him to fall asleep by repeatedly telling him, ‘I love you, Aiden.’”

Building them a place to call home

Our feline friends need love, too. That’s why Amber created a cozy habitat for her longhair tuxedo cat, Precious, on the nights where she likes to roam. Adopted from a local shelter eight years ago, Precious is now 16—and not fond of staying indoors.

“In her old age, Precious has become very anxious being inside,” Amber said. Even in the cold winter months, Precious prefers staying outside on their back deck or exploring their 10-acre property. “She usually refuses to come inside, even on cold nights,” Amber said.

After many failed attempts to get her inside for the evening, Amber and her family realized it would be unfair to keep her confined when she wasn’t comfortable. As a compromise, Amber’s handy husband built a safe haven for her outside.

“She couldn't just have a tiny little box. Our girl was too good for that,” Amber said. “Now we can rest easy at night knowing she is safe, warm, and secure in her own private bungalow.”

Showing love for your pets—especially in the form of regular exercise, safe surroundings and good nutrition—is the best way to keep them happy and healthy for as long as possible. And when we help our pets live longer, we’re nurturing the connection that makes our lives richer, too.


Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a happy pet. Fuel your pet and help them reach their individual incredible with help from Nulo.

Family

Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits

"Should grandmas be the ones on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her?"

baby boomers, grandparents, travel, airport, senior woman traveling, luggage

An older woman holding a suitcase.

When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.

However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.


@grandmacampplanner

Is it Grandma’s job to travel to the kids, or should the family come to her? 👀 Let’s hear it—#GrandmaCamp #FamilyDebate #momsoftiktok #GrandmaLife #HolidayTravel

“Okay, so, here's the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don't you come visit us?’ But let's be honest, Grandma's house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it's time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.

“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.

Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.

@grandmacampplanner

Disclaimer: My last post was meant to spark conversation, not advice. It came from what I witnessed as an OT — older grandmas struggling to travel alone. Every family is different ❤️ #GrandmaCampByGrandmaJan #FamilyDecisions #GrandmaLife #OTperspective #momsoftiktok

The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle."

Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it's about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.

Community

Thousands of women are still sharing the image of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh with a powerful message

'De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.'

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational

Jamie Lee Curtis celebrating Michelle Yeoh's Golden Globes win was an empowering moment for all women.

The 2023 Golden Globe Awards was an incredible night for Michelle Yeoh. The 60-year-old actress had waited 40 years to play the lead in a Hollywood film, and winning the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy for her starring role in "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was a dream come true. Yeoh's moment in the spotlight made headlines that night as her award speech went viral. But following the ceremony, another moment went viral—the split second Yeoh's name was called as the winner and the reaction of her co-star, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Curtis herself had been nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in the film but didn't win. (That award went to Angela Bassett in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.") But whatever disappointment Curtis may have felt about not winning her own award did not diminish her response to Yeoh's win, which was immediate, intense and immensely joyful.


A screenshot of Curtis' triumphant celebration of Yeoh's win was shared on LinkedIn by Erin Gallagher, CEO and founder of gender equity company Ella, along with a powerful message that's resonating with women everywhere.

Screenshot of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh at the 2023 Golden Globes Erin Gallagher via LinkedIn

Gallagher wrote:

"Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023: unabashed hype woman.

Full on. Full out. Full force.

This photo was taken last night at the Golden Globes when Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress for her role in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once.'

Look at Jamie Lee Curtis.

Look. At. Her."


Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational Jamie Lee Curtis at the 41st Emmy Awards in 2006Alan Light (alan.light) via Wikimedia Commons

Gallagher continued:

"You can feel her energy, her fire, her power.

Her excitement, joy and passion for Michelle is palpable. The photo moves. It vibrates.

If you saw this photo without context, you may think that it was actually *Jamie* who won.

Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023.

Hype. Other. Women.

When she wins, fight the urge to question…

…who does she think she is?
…why is she getting attention?
…did she really deserve it?
…is she really that good?
...what about me?

Guess what? The world has sold you a lie.

Her success doesn’t detract from yours.
Her wins don’t create your losses.
Her joy can’t steal the joy that’s meant for you.

De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.

It's a trap. Meant to distract us. And to keep us keeping each other down.

Find your Jamie.
Hype their Jamie.
Be her Jamie."

The message hit home, and hard. Reposts on Facebook have circulated thousands of times as women share the message with an enthusiastic, "Yes, this!"

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirationalGif of Jamie Lee Curtis clapping via Giphy


The sense of competition between women is often unspoken and not overtly encouraged, yet it exists. Research indicates that women have had complex relationships with one another, marked by both competition and cooperation, throughout human history. Throw in the uphill battle for social and political power in the modern era and it's perhaps unsurprising that women can sometimes see other women's success as threatening to their own.

That isn't really how it works, though. It's not like there's a finite amount of female good fortune to go around. Success is not pie. As Gallagher points out, another woman's success does not detract from our own, and there's ample awesomeness out there for all of us.

Plenty of forces will try to pull women down and hold them back—do we really want to add to that? Be a force that lifts women up. Hype those you know who are crushing it. Celebrate their successes. Be their Jamie. There's nothing but winning in it for us all.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks
via Liza Summer/Pexels
A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder. However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest, and good. A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.


The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Research shows we have a tendency to compare ourselves to highly visible and highly skilled people, which makes us feel worse. We wonder why we can't cook as well as our foodie friend or why we're not as organized and put-together as our Type A neighbor. No wonder comparisons make us feel like crap!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Comparison is the thief of joy. Giphy

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

Worrying too much about making everyone like you is a quick path to becoming a people pleaser, an impossible task that takes a serious toll on your mental health.

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Things don't care if you throw them away. Giphy

4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

It's natural and OK to outgrow friendships. If you've put in a solid effort and it's not working the way it used to, being comfortable with letting the relationship go will do wonders for your guilt and stress levels.

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

The truth is we're all just people doing our best, even the people who have wronged you.


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks You might be the villain in someone's story. Giphy

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

Expecting others to change is bound to lead to disappointment. There's a saying that goes, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Hoping and wishing and working to make them somewhere else, more often than not, gets you nowhere.

7. How we judge ourselves and others

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We judge others differently than how we judge ourselves. Giphy

8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

Perhaps one of the harshest truths of all, but once you accept it, the path forward becomes extremely clear. It's up to you to make everything happen, and there's really no one else to blame if you don't.

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

Niceness can even be toxic when it's not coming from a place of genuine authenticity. Sometimes hard conversations and conflict are necessary, and avoiding them is not healthy.

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."

Worried about something small like how the sleeves on your shirt fit you? It's OK if you care, but no one else will. People are far too consumed with their own lives and problems to remember the minutiae of some stranger they saw in passing. Accepting this is incredibly freeing!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Nobody is paying attention to you (and that's a good thing). Giphy

12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

This realization could help cure your Imposter Syndrome. Most people are just making it up as they go along and so you shouldn't feel ashamed of doing the same.

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We accept the love we think we deserve. Giphy

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

These are called harsh or hard truths for a reason. It's human nature to feel self-conscious, feel like an imposter, try to change people, or worry if other people like us. But the more of these you can free yourself from, the better you'll feel.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

body image, parenting, TikTok, Target trip, self-esteem, tween feelings, positive parenting, media literacy, kid confidence, mom advice, gentle parenting, viral video, healthy habits, body positivity, tough conversations, school age, parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting

TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.


A tough question in the fitting room

“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔
♬ original sound - missmommymack

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting The changing room brought out a painful revelation. Photo credit: Canva

How Mom chose compassion over criticism

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

What the internet said and why it matters

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," she added.

Teaching kids about health without harm

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthily. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but she avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack Replying to @user3838812846970 ♬ original sound - missmommymack

This article originally appeared last year.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting
via @brielleybelly123/TikTok and @brielleybelly123/TikTok
Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

Every year, a new generation of adults realizes how hard it is to actually be an adult. Not many things can properly prepare you for the responsibilities and problems you face being an independent human being in the work force.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.


Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting A woman appears stressed while working on laptop. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

“I don’t have the time to do anything,” she continued. “I want to shower, eat my dinner, and go to sleep. I don’t have the time or energy to cook my dinner either. I don’t have energy to work out, like, that’s out of the window. I’m so upset, oh my god.”

@brielleybelly123

im also getting sick leave me alone im emotional ok i feel 12 and im scared of not having time to live

On December 16, 2023 Asero gave an update on her professional life, and sadly, things aren’t going too well.

After just 2 months on the job, she was laid off. It had taken her 5 months to find the job and she had recently relocated to New York City to be near the office.

"I worked for a startup, and they didn't have the workload or the bandwidth they needed to train me and to give me work to do," she said. Being laid off during the holidays makes Asero's situation even more difficult because most employers are closed for business in late December and early January.

Remember, laid off does not mean fired. Asero had some stern words for those who would blame her for losing her job.

"I know that I'm a hard worker, and my boss literally said that I'm one of the smartest people he's ever had working under him, and he knows that I'm going to land on my feet, and he will give me a great referral to anybody, so don't start," she warned.

@brielleybelly123

can someone tell me im going to be okay !!!! feels like the world is ending i need a job immediatley i am feeling so lost rn like i moved for this...!?

"I have done everything I possibly could have, and it's still not enough," she said. To supplement her income while looking for her next big break, Asero says she will look for work as a server or nanny.

Even though Asero took a lot of criticism for crying after her first day at work, the comments on the new video were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. There were also a lot of people who shared how they had recently been laid off, too.

Her first experience in the workforce was a hard one, but her reaction to it was completely valid and something we've all felt before.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Just want to note that there’s no shame in taking a service job while you’re still looking. You’re going to be okay, you got this," Baby bel wrote. "It happened to me, seems like ur life is ending, but I promise it's just getting started. You’ll laugh about it at some point," Rachie added.

These days, Brielle is doing alright for herself as a 23-year-old living in New York City. Among other things, she has a thriving career as a content creator with over 700k followers on TikTok.

That job and the heartbreaking experience of getting laid off, it seems, was good for something after all.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.