10 photos of seriously wounded vets remind us about the real costs of war.

Their wounds belong to all of us.

democracy, justice, wounded veterans, documentation, portraits
Photo credit: Image by David Jay/ David Jay Photography.Maj, Matt Smith at Walter Reed Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland.

Photographer David Jay specializes in fashion and beauty, stuff that’s “beautiful and sexy — and completely untrue,” as he puts it. But that’s not all he photographs.

Three years ago, Jay began to take pictures of young, severely wounded soldiers returning home from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Trigger warning: These portraits don’t shy away from wounded bodies.


Be prepared. I found them shocking at first. But keep looking. The more I looked, the more beauty and humanity I found reflected here. (The photo captions are from the Jay’s Unknown Soldier Project Facebook page. All images used with permission.)

military, body image, disabilities
Lt. Nicholas John Vogt, U.S. Army Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This is 1st Lt. Nicholas John Vogt, U.S. Army. On Nov. 12, 2011, he was severely injured by an IED while on a foot-patrol in Panjwaii, Afghanistan. We took these pictures this past weekend in the swimming pool at Walter Reed Medical Center. I asked Nicholas for his permission to post these images and this was his response: “The only thing that I want to pass on is this: Losing limbs is like losing a good friend. We wish we could still be with them, but it wasn’t ‘in the cards.’ Then we get up, remember the good times, and thank God for whatever we have left.” Image by David Jay/ David Jay Photography. All images used with permission.

In a National Public Radio interview about his project, Jay said, “You can imagine how many times each of these men and women have heard a parent tell their child, ‘Don’t look. Don’t stare at him. That’s rude.’”

“I take these pictures so that we can look; we can see what we’re not supposed to see. And we need to see them because we created them.” — David Jay

photography, mental health, veteran rights
Taking a swim. Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

Jay wants us to see, to become even a little familiar with the tragic loss of limbs and burned skin of wounded vets — his portraits are 4 feet wide — but he also wants us to see them as people and to think about their experiences and those of people in their lives.

health, David Jay, The Unknown Soldier
Bobby Bernier with daughter Layla. Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This past week, I went to San Antonio, Texas. There I had the privilege of photographing both Daniel Burgess and Bobby Bernier. They are friends. Daniel stepped on a IED, losing one leg and destroying the other. Bobby was hit by incoming artillery, sustaining burns over 60% of his body. He is pictured here with his daughter Layla.

IED, Maj. Matt Smith, Afghanistan
Maj, Matt Smith at Walter Reed Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This is Maj. Matt Smith. This past week, Matt allowed me to photograph him in his room at the Walter Reed Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. Less than three months ago, on June 8, 2013, in Paktika province, Afghanistan, Matt was shot along with five others by a member of the Afghan National Army. The bullet severed his femoral artery, resulting in the amputation of his leg. A private and soulful man, it was an honor to photograph him. Thank you, Maj. Smith.

disabled, war, amputee
Spc. Marissa Stock injured by an IED. Image by David Jay/<a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.
burn victim, roadside bomb, survivor
Jerral Hancock survived a roadside bomb. Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This is Jerral Hancock. He was driving a tank in Iraq. A roadside bomb pierced the armor, breaching the interior. We shot these pics two weeks ago at his home in Lancaster, California, where Jarral lives with his two beautiful children. We ended up hanging out into the night, smokin’ ciggys … so I kept taking pictures.

“To the men and women of The Unknown Soldier, I can’t thank you enough for your courage and sacrifice … both on and off the battlefield. It is an honor to photograph you.” — David Jay

swimming, photography, internal injuries, Airborne Ranger
SFC Cedric King floats in the pool. Image by David Jay/<a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

On July 25, 2012, SFC Cedric King, an Airborne Ranger, was severely injured by an IED while serving his country in Afghanistan. Due to the explosion, Cedric sustained a multitude of internal and external injuries, losing both his legs. Cedric was doing his laps while I was photographing 1st Lt. Nicholas Vogt in the pool at Walter Reed Medical Center last week. Cedric kept watching, so I had to ask. Cedric said, “That man (Nicholas) doesn’t know it, but he changed my life. There was a point when I was so down that I thought I couldn’t go on. And then one day I saw him swimming … and I just thought, wow … if he can go on like that, then I can go on too.” Cedric will also change people’s lives. Already has.

Marine, foot-patrol, Afghan Army
Michael Fox, 27-year-old Marine. Image by David Jay/<a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This is Michael Fox, a 27-year-old Marine and an amazing man. On Nov. 15, 2011, Michael was on foot-patrol in the Helmand province of Afghanistan. His is the first picture of “The Unknown Soldier.”

The SCAR Project, battle-scarred, therapy
Staff Sgt. Shilo Harris in Houston, Texas. Image by David Jay/<a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

This past weekend, I photographed Staff Sgt. Shilo Harris in Houston, Texas. He came up from San Antonio to see one of my other exhibitions, The SCAR Project (www.thescarproject.org). Shilo was severely burned on Feb. 19, 2007, by a roadside bomb estimated at 700 pounds. He lost three men out of a crew of five. Only Shilo and his driver survived the blast. Shilo has a book coming out soon. He is truly an amazing man, and I am honored to call him a friend.

“The Unknown Soldier is about neither war or politics … but rather something infinitely simpler and more powerful.” — David Jay

healing, medicine, remedy, hope
Thomas Young in Kansas City, MO. Image by David Jay/ <a href="https://farm.upworthy.com/nuggets/5564a2bd633239000c2f0100/www.davidjayphotography.com">David Jay Photography</a>.

The Library of Congress has acquired images from Jay’s The Unknown Soldier project as part of its documentation of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. This speaks to the power of these images in capturing war’s aftermath. But they are so much more than documentation.

Pictures like these help those of us who remain at home to begin to comprehend the true human cost of war.

This article originally appeared on 05.31.15

  • The Bee Gees perform ‘How Deep Is Your Love’ live and a capella in resurfaced 1998 clip
    Photo credit: via Edu Seijas/YouTubeThe Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

    In 1998, The Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O’Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

    The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep Is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a cappella.

    Their signature sound

    Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Connor, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

    Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Supastar” by Pras of The Fugees.

    Writing for music icons

    Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

    During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

    You can watch the entire performance here:

    The Gibb brothers started making music together when they were children, and after their first public appearance together at a local movie theater in 1956, they were hooked on performing.

    “It was the feeling of standing in front of an audience that was so amazing,” said Barry. “We’d never seen anything like it. We were very young, but it made an enormous impression. We didn’t want to do anything else but make music.”

    After the family moved to Australia in 1958, Barry, Maurice, and Robin were “discovered” at the Redcliffe Speedway, where they had asked to perform between races. Even over the tinny PA system, their harmonies made an impression. Speedway manager Bill Goode introduced the trio to DJ Bill Gates, who set them up with a recording session.

    From a land down under

    If you’ve ever wondered how the Bee Gees got their name, that was it: Bill Goode, Bill Gates, Barry Gibb, and the brothers’ mother Barbara Gibb all had the initials B.G. After a strong reception on the airwaves in Brisbane, Gates forwarded the brothers’ recordings to a Sydney radio station. They got a lot of airtime there as well, and the band had a run of success performing in Australia, but it wasn’t until their return to England in 1967 that they became the international sensation we all know today.

    Manager Robert Stigwood had received tapes from the Gibbs brothers and called them up within weeks of their arrival in the U.K.

    “I loved their composing,” Stigwood told Rolling Stone in 1977. “I also loved their harmony singing. It was unique, the sound they made; I suppose it was a sound only brothers could make.”

     

    More than just disco

    And, as they say, the rest is history. The award-winning 2020 HBO documentary, “The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” tells the story of the band with loads of footage from throughout their 40-year career, which includes not only their disco-era fame, but the various phases of their musical journey and the countless songs they wrote for other artists.

    As one commenter wrote, “People that call the Bee Gees a ‘disco group’ don’t have a clue. They had 10 albums out before they ventured into ‘disco.’ Their song catalogue is amazing and some of their very best songs were written long before Saturday Night Fever. Those ‘disco’ songs are classics as well. It is nice to see they are finally getting the recognition they deserve.”

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

     

  • Prince wrote a singer an original song. Her performance left ‘AGT’ judges astounded.
    Photo credit: Flickr/Wikipedia, America’s Got Talent/YouTubePrince would be so proud.

    When the 2024 Summer Olympics ended, few knew we weren’t quite done marveling at elite-level humans at the top of their game. America’s Got Talent returned from its two week hiatus in August 2024 with eleven incredible acts, but it was R&B singer Liv Warfield who stole the show with her rendition of “The Unexpected,” a song that just so happened to be written specifically for her by Prince. No big deal.

    Warfield had already wowed audiences with her initial audition, which earned a Golden Buzzer from Simon Cowell. But her follow-up performance had Cowell saying, “If this was the Olympics for singing, you would have won the gold medal.”

    Liv Warfield after receiving the Golden Buzzer. Photo credit: NBCUniversal.

    Judges Sofia Vergara and Howie Mandel echoed similar praises. Vergara called Warfield’s set “perfection,” while Mandel, a self-proclaimed Prince fan, told Warfield that “The Purple One knew what he was doing when he gave you this gem. That was a million-dollar performance.”

    And it’s not hard to see why Warfield got such high remarks. Beyond her unbelievable vocals was her undeniable star power and ability to transport us all back in time to the days of 70s rock n’ roll.

    As one viewer put it, “If Prince and Janis Joplin had a baby = Liv Warfield!”

    Just watch:

     

    From Prince to AGT

    Warfield’s connection to Prince began in 2009, when she joined his New Power Generation band. Though she noted that “backing up Prince was a dream,” not to mention the fact that she’s already made several chart topping achievements on her own, she still felt like her ultimate potential had yet to be reached, hence her AGT audition. Now, her quarterfinal performance has made Cowell declare another defining moment in her career.

    “It felt to me like all those years you’ve been climbing the ladder to where you want to be, it all came out in those three minutes,” he said.

    Indeed, what a testament to the power of steadily going after your dreams. Raw talent is great, but even with God-given gifts, there’s still so much work that goes into being ready for big opportunities. Though she didn’t win the competition in the end, Warfield is already a winner through and through.

    Learning from the master

    Warfield is continuing on her musical path in her hometown of Chicago and was invited to perform the Star-Spangled Banner at a Chicago Cubs baseball game in May of 2025.

    @livwarfield

    Thank you @cubs for inviting me out to sing. ✨Beautiful Day, Beautiful People,Energy at @cubs game! With my @zinzannichicago Family❤️✨. Although sis, was hiding out like the 🦀 that I am. 😂😂🤘🏾 Love y’all! Yesterday was necessary 🫀. PR Queen @aidanhenri 😘✨🫶🏾 @princenolov3 😘

    ♬ original sound – LiV Warfield

    Her Prince roots are alive and well in her stage performances as she performed in a tribute concert series during the summer of 2025. She also has multiple albums under her belt, beginning with “Embrace Me” in 2006 and continuing through her 2023 album “The Edge.”

    Warfield has credited Prince with her musical development, telling NPR in 2014:

    “He’s influenced me first and foremost, as a performer. Just kind of like taking chances first. It took me a while. Like I thought I was a good performer, but when I got part of the New Power Generation, I was like, ‘Whoa this is a whole new world for me.’ And even in the writing and arranging, and him just teaching me how to really listen to the music. Listen to every instrument, give space, and I wasn’t really thinking about those things. I just wanted to hear everything. I thought, ‘If everybody plays, it’s good.’ … Sometimes it could sound like noise, but he just really kind of developed my ear.”

    Liv Warfield performing on AGT. Photo credit: NBCUniversal

    Just more proof that musical legends live on not only in the music they leave behind but in the talent they help nurture and develop.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • 15 old-school casserole recipes that feel like home for boomers and Gen Xers
    Photo credit: Image via Reddit/MyDogGoldiVintage casserole recipes from Gen X and boomer childhoods.

    Childhood dishes can take you straight back to your seat at the family dinner table. Comfort meals that were served there are uber nostalgic. And there is one dish represents the epitome of Gen X and baby boomer childhoods: casseroles.

    These one-dish wonders were loaded with flavor and baked to perfection. Pulled straight from the oven to the dinner table, casseroles filled the house with the smell of unique home-cooked recipes.

    And while most of us are eating casseroles today at Thanksgiving, Gen Xers and boomers grew up eating casseroles on the reg.

    Here are 15 old-school casserole recipes that Redditors grew up eating, which are just as yummy today:

     

    Chicken casseroles

    Fancy Fast Chicken casserole

    Fancy Fast Chicken is delicious and so simple. Line up chicken breasts in a casserole dish. Dump uncooked stuffing over top the chicken breasts. Pour Cream of Mushroom (Onion or chicken works too) and incorporate it into the stuffing. Top with cheese of your choice, and fried onions if you’re inclined. Bake at 350 for 45min or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.” – Applepoisoneer

    Chicken Curry Divan casserole

    “My favorite is Chicken Curry Divan. A friend made it for me in college 40 years ago and it is a favorite to this day. Never disappoints. Many people have asked me for the recipe over the years. My best friends kids now that they are grown have each approached me for it.

    1 1/2 lbs chicken breast tenders cooked and cut into bite sized pieces
    3 cups broccoli in bite sized pieces
    2 cans Cream of Chicken soup
    1 cup mayonnaise (must be Mayo)
    2 tsp curry
    Juice of 1 lemon
    Shredded sharp cheddar (use the amount you like o like a nice even cover of the top)
    3/4 cup crushed Ritz crackers
    3 tbsp melted butter
    In 9×13” baking pan layer chicken then broccoli.

    Mix the soup, Mayo, lemon juice and curry together well, pour over chicken broccoli mixture evenly and smooth out. Sprinkle cheese over top evenly. Crush crackers fine, mix in melted butter well and sprinkle evenly over top. Cook at 375° for 25-30 minutes until bubbly and top brown. Serve with rice.” – karinchup

    Chicken and Rice casserole

    “This baked rice & cheese casserole has become a staple in our house! It’s great as a side dish, or I’ll add rotisserie chicken and serve it as a main dish.” – anchovypepperonitoni

    Chicken & Dumplings casserole

    “The secret of this is not to stir anything. That’s what makes your dumplings. When you dish it out, you have your dumplings on top.
    2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded; 2 cups chicken broth; 1/2 stick of butter; 2 cups Bisquick mix; 2 cups whole milk; 1 can cream of chicken soup; 1/2 medium onion, minced; 1 cup frozen peas; 3 tsp chicken Better Than Bouillon; 1/2 tsp dried sage; 1 tsp black pepper; 1/2 tsp salt.

    (1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
    (2) Layer 1 – In 9×13 casserole dish, melt 1/2 stick of butter. Spread shredded chicken over butter. Sprinkle black pepper and dried sage over this layer. Do not stir.
    (3) Layer 2 – Sprinkle minced onions and peas over chicken
    (4) Layer 3 – In small bowl, mix milk and Bisquick. Slowly pour all over chicken. Do not stir.
    (5) Layer 4 – In medium bowl, whisk together 2 cups of chicken broth, chicken bouillon, and soup. Once blended, slowly pour over the Bisquick layer. Do not stir.
    (6) Bake casserole for 30-40 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.” – Superb_Yak7074

    Chicken broccoli casserole

    “I made chicken broccoli casserole last week and that’s a favorite here. This is pretty close to how I do it.” – gimmethelulz

    Potato casseroles

    Funeral Potatoes

    “The unfortunately named, funeral potatoes!” – IRLperson

    Tater Tot casserole

    Tater tot casserole. My mom made this at least once a week when I was growing up, but she added a quart of green beans to make it a meal. If you brown your ground beef in a good size cast iron skillet, you only dirty up one pan to make it!” – hcynthia1234, upperwareParTAY

    Breakfast casserole

    “I’m making a breakfast casserole this morning for brunch later—a bag of frozen hash brown potatoes thawed, a pound of sausage sauteed with peppers and onions, a brick of cheese grated, eight eggs beaten with a bit of milk and cream and some salt and pepper. Layer in a casserole, ending with cheese. Bake around an hour at 375.” – CWrend

    Hamburger pie casserole

    “One of my childhood favorites. Did not add vegetables or cheese though. This was an end of the month struggle meal that everyone loved.” – DarnHeather

    Shepherd’s pie casserole

    “Shepherd’s pie : brown 1.5 lbs ground beef with half a chopped onion, salt and pepper, drain it and then spread into a 13×9 and stir a can of cream of mushroom soup into it. Spread a drained family size can of corn on top, use a container of prepared mashed potatoes for the top layer. Bake for a half hour at 350.” – ExplanationLucky1143

    Noodle casseroles

    Tuna casserole

    “Love my mom’s tuna noodle casserole: 1 bag broad egg noodles, 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 2 cans tuna, 1 cup frozen corn or 1 can kernel corn, 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs, 1 tbsp celery salt
    Cook noodles per package directions, drain, then place in a 13×9 casserole dish. Mix in cream of mushroom soup, tuna, corn, 1 cup of the cheddar cheese, and celery salt. Top the casserole with the remaining cheese and bread crumbs. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until done enough for you.” – Pinkleton

    Mock Stroganoff casserole

    “Mock stroganoff – brown 1lb ground chuck. Mix in 8 oz sour cream and 1 can cream of mushroom. Add to 1 lb of cooked egg noodles. Season with black pepper. Extras – fresh mushrooms and/or onion cooked with the beef. Any precooked veggies of your choice, peas or broccoli work well. Splash of Worcestershire, soy sauce, or fish sauce. Garlic or onion powder. Parsley, thyme, or cilantro.” – Nathan_Saul

    Cabbage noodle casserole

    “I have a quick cabbage and noodles that uses bagged cole slaw. Cook a bag of noodles. Put aside. Cut up a lb of bacon and a med onion. Cook in pan until bacon is slightly fried and onions are clear. Add cabbage(without carrots) let sit 10 min or so. Add to noodles. It’s so easy.” – conjas11

    @allrecipes

    Thanksgiving prep class is now in session! 🍂🧑‍🏫 If there’s one thing you need to nail on the big day (other than the turkey, of course), it’s Green Bean Casserole. This recipe tastes just like the one your grandmother used to make, if not even better! 😋 Continue reading or click the link in the @allrecipes bio to get the full recipe. Ingredients: 2 (15-ounce) cans cut green beans, drained 1 (10.5-ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup ¾ cup milk 1 (2.8-ounce) can French fried onions salt and ground black pepper to taste Directions: Gather all ingredients. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Mix green beans, condensed cream of mushroom soup, milk, and 1/2 of the fried onions in a 1.5-quart casserole dish. Bake in the preheated oven until heated through and bubbly, about 25 minutes. Sprinkle remaining onions on top and return to the oven for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Let rest for a few minutes before serving. 🧑‍🍳: Nicole #thanksgiving #greenbeancasserole #greenbeans #thanksgivingsides

    ♬ Greens Bean Potatoes – Thanksgiving Music

    Vegetable casseroles

    Green bean casserole

    This is the best green bean casserole recipe, it does use the canned onions but you make your own cream of mushroom and it’s soooo good. I’ve made it on random weekends, it’s not just a Thanksgiving food. I don’t know much about older foods, I just really wanted to share that recipe.”

    Corn casserole

    “Our family Corn custard doesn’t have crackers but we double the recipe and there’s never any left over. 2 eggs, 1 cup of sweetened condensed milk, 1/2 flour, 2 T soft butter, 1 tsp sugar, 1 can of creamed corn, 1 can of whole corn. Mix all together and bake in a 8×8 about 45 min at 350. Gotta have that!” – Psychological_Bat890

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Therapist shares 3 life-changing quotes she uses ‘almost daily’ with her patients
    Photo credit: Courtesy of @miss.mad.hatter/TikTokTherapists can be great at helping us understand how our brains work.

    Therapist shares 3 life-changing quotes she uses ‘almost daily’ with her patients

    “Your nervous system will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every day of the week.”

    Millions of Americans seek the help of therapists for mental health struggles, and many more could use some psychological care but aren’t getting it due to affordability, lack of access, or other barriers. One of the positives to come out of the social media era is professionals sharing thoughts, opinions, approaches, and tools that the public might find helpful. While “TikTok therapy” is certainly not a replacement for actual therapy, you can sometimes find some useful nuggets.

    For instance, clinical therapist Hattie Awe, LPC, shared a video laying out three things she tells her patients all the time, and judging by the four million views and 124,000+ saves of the video, people are finding it helpful.

    “I am a therapist in higher level of care, and these are the three quotes that I use almost daily with the patients that I work with,” Awe begins. “It’s more of a fact, the first one, but your brain has never existed and will never exist to be happy. Your brain has no rationale of what that means, and your brain strictly operates off of safety and knowing. which doesn’t always align with what we want out of life.”

    Neuroscience backs this up. Evolutionary psychologists say our brain’s primary goal is survival, not happiness. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to be happy—of course we do. It means our brain isn’t hardwired for that. It’s wired to keep us safe and secure, which means it’s naturally prone to focus more on the negative than the positive.

    brain, mind neuroscience, mental health, amygdala, brain health
    Brain Mind GIF by University of California Giphy

    Awe says that idea connects to the second quote that she probably uses more than any other: Your nervous system will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every day of the week,” she says. “Your nervous system will gravitate towards the things that we know, the things that we see, the things that we’ve done over and over and over again because to the brain that’s safety. It doesn’t matter if the outcome is something that we don’t want, as long as our brain knows what’s coming, as long as we know what this is, as long as this is familiar, there’s a safety in that, which is why we might find ourselves doing the same shit, engaging in the same toxic relationships, engaging in the same behaviors over and over and over again, not knowing why we keep doing it, because it’s safe to the brain.”

    Somatic therapist Sarah Alpern used a similar phrase, “Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven” to explain why we might resist change even when it’s good for us and why we tend to gravitate toward the same patterns, behaviors, and situations even though they may be harming us. Predictability feels safer than change.

    “Change for the better represents uncertainty, and our brains perceive uncertainty as a potential threat,” Alpern writes. “It disrupts the familiar patterns and forces our nervous system to adapt to new circumstances, which can be scary and uncomfortable.”

    neuroscience, mental health, nervous system, brain, fear

    Change is often seen as a threat by the nervous system. Photo credit: Canva

    Understanding this can help us recognize when our instinctual brain functions are fighting us and why.

    “That leaves me to my third favorite little tidbit, little quote, which is you literally cannot hate yourself in the loving yourself,” says Awe. “There is no criticizing your way to confidence. There’s no shitting on yourself into a version of yourself that you enjoy. It doesn’t exist. and you’ve probably learned all of the lessons of life that you need by hating yourself. You might as well get to the fun part of life where you learn all the lessons of life by loving yourself.”

    “So validate the past versions of yourself,” she continues. “Validate the functions of the brain and the fact that it’s never really cared if you were happy. Validate how easy it is to fall in the habits of cyclical behavior, given the fact that our nervous system and brain is drawn to it. Have acceptance for that and be able to move forward. But we can’t act like the person before us doesn’t exist. And we can’t hate her for existing.”

    therapy, therapist office, psychology, mental health, psychologist

    Therapy can help people better understand how their brain works. Photo credit: Canva

    People in the comments of her video shared how helpful they found Awe’s concise breakdown of these concepts.

    “There is no criticizing yourself into confidence HITS.”

    “u just linked up like 12 different concepts in my brain thank u.”

    “This was gold! How much do I owe you?”

    “I just listened to this three times through to let it sink in. I’m in a transition phase and finding it hard and I needed to hear this. Thanks!”

    “I love that by being happy, you’re basically being a rebel against your own brain and nervous system.”

    rebel, brain, mental health, happiness, psychology

    Lady Gaga Rebel GIF by Apple Music Giphy

    Other therapists weighed in on her video as well, some with quotes they frequently share with their clients:

    “As a fellow staff with youth in higher level of care, I can confirm that this way of thinking is their only way to get through everyday . It’s so black and white and everyday is such a struggle trying to get them back to baseline.”

    “Along with your third quote, something I’ve said to clients is something to the effect of ‘if talking to yourself that way/thinking that way worked, it would’ve worked by now.’”

    “I’m a therapist, and a quote I use frequently is ‘you can be comfortable or you can grow, but you can’t do both.’”

    “Psychiatrist here…. ‘Acceptance does not require approval’ is one of my favorites. I feel like acceptance is such a huge part of life but it’s such a struggle for so many people.”

    A two-minute video definitely won’t cure anyone’s mental health issues, but even short tidbits like this can sometimes help shift our perspective and allow us to see the workings of our brains in a new and helpful light.

    You can follow Awe at @miss.mad.hatter on TikTok for more.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Artemis II pilot delivered an impromptu Easter message we all need to hear
    Photo credit: NASA Johnson/YouTubeThe crew of Artemis II.
    ,

    Artemis II pilot delivered an impromptu Easter message we all need to hear

    It’s resonating with people of all faiths, and even those with no faith.

    The four astronauts on the Artemis II NASA mission have broken a 55-year-old record, traveling farther into space than any human has gone before. Every human milestone is significant, and an Easter message from the mission’s pilot, Victor Glover, reminds us why.

    Speaking with the astronauts, a CBS News reporter noted that the Apollo 8 crew delivered a Christmas Eve message during their 1968 mission. He asked whether the Artemis II crew had a message to share for Easter. When the microphone floated to Glover, he said he hadn’t prepared anything, but offered some impromptu thoughts:

    “We are the same thing”

    “I think these observances are important, as we are so far from Earth and looking back at the beauty of creation. I think for me, one of the really important personal perspectives that I have up here is I can really see Earth as one thing.

    And you know, when I read the Bible, and I look at all of the amazing things that were done for us, who we’re created, it’s…you have this amazing place, this spaceship. You guys are talking to us because we’re in a spaceship really far from Earth. But you’re on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe, in the cosmos.

    Maybe the distance we are from you makes you think what we’re doing is special. But we’re the same distance from you, and I’m trying to tell you—just trust me—you are special. In all of this emptiness—this is a whole bunch of nothing, this thing we call the universe—you have this oasis, this beautiful place that we get to exist together.

    I think as we go into Easter Sunday, thinking about all the cultures all around the world, whether you celebrate it or not, whether you believe in God or not, this is an opportunity for us to remember where we are, who we are, and that we are the same thing, and that we got to get through this together.”

    @corybooker

    This is beautiful. op: keithdmedia via IG

    ♬ original sound – Cory

    People of all faiths—and no faith—appreciated the message

    Commenters appreciated Glover’s perspective as he looked out at all 8 billion of us on our beautiful “pale blue dot.”

    “One of the most beautiful perspectives I’ve ever heard on this topic. Thank you Victor.”

    “Beautiful unifying message.”

    “I am not a religious person at all but this speech made me cry.”

    “It gave me chills. What a beautiful message.”

    “As someone who’s not religious this is the perfect message conveyed by someone of faith without feeling unwarranted or preaching in a way that doesn’t land. Delivered perfectly and I respect him for that.”

    “What a beautiful sentiment we all so desperately need to hear.”

    Glover’s remarks reflect what others who have viewed Earth from space have said. The emotional experience of that perspective, known as the “overview effect,” often results in a profound awareness of humanity’s place in the universe.

    The “overview effect” is a common experience for people who see Earth from space

    For Star Trek actor William Shatner, who went to space at age 90 in 2021, that awareness gave him a surprising feeling of deep grief.

    “It was the death that I saw in space and the lifeforce that I saw coming from the planet — the blue, the beige and the white,” he said. “And I realized one was death and the other was life.”

    Earth and life are “so fragile,” Shatner said. “We hang by a thread…we’re just dangling.” Seeing humanity from that distance put conflicts between humans into perspective. “We’re entangled with each other,” he said. “We have a war…the stupidity of it all is so obvious.”

    Frank White, the space philosopher who coined the term “overview effect” in his 1987 book of the same name, wrote that astronauts who leave Earth generally come back with “a greater distaste for war and violence, and a desire to do something to improve life back on the surface, because they’ve seen the truth of our situation.”

    Space travel highlights our shared humanity

    When Glover referred to Earth as a spaceship, he wasn’t just being metaphorical. Our planet is a self-contained, closed-loop system, meaning its resources are produced and recycled here. And we are hurtling through space at about 67,100 miles per hour—much faster than any spacecraft we’ve sent into space. For all intents and purposes, we are traveling together on a giant, round spaceship.

    The universe is vast, yet it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the little details of life on our planetary ship. Zooming out—seeing Earth from a distance—can help us view ourselves and our lives in a different light. Seeing our home, our people, our lives as one has the power to change something within us. It’s a potent reminder that, for all our uniqueness, we really are one.

    Watch the highlights from Day 4 of the Artemis II mission:

  • What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?
    Photo credit: CanvaOnce you know about these sites, you'll wonder what you did without them.
    ,

    What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?

    10 of the Internet’s best places, from image editors to background noise customizers.

    Despite the massive amount of time we spend on the Internet, if we’re honest with ourselves, we bounce between the same five or six websites every single day. Which is fine! But living like that makes it easy to forget how vast and weird the Internet can be. There are dozens (if not hundreds) of sites out there that are truly useful little gems that make you feel like you’ve discovered some kind of cyber secret. These are the kinds of websites you bookmark immediately.

    Luckily, Reddit made discovering these Internet gems much simpler. User @powerfulsites posed the following question: “What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?”

    underground, website, internet, reddit, screenshot
    Photo credit: RedditScreenshot of Reddit.

    And the Internet responded in droves. (Guess the Internet enjoys talking about itself.) We grabbed 10 of the best, most wonderful recommendations, from powerful image editors to science-backed white noise generators. And once you know about them, you’ll wonder how you got along without them.

    Project Gutenberg

    underground, website, internet, project, gutenberg
    Screenshot of Project Gutenberg.

    In 1971, a college student named Michael Hart typed out the Declaration of Independence on a university computer and uploaded it for anyone to download. It was free forever, and that small act of Internet generosity became the foundation for Project Gutenberg (PG). More than 50 years later, PG has grown into an incredible library of over 78,000 free eBooks in 60+ languages. Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley; Jane Austen’s Pride and PrejudiceCrime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

    Every classic you can think of, available in seconds, at no cost.

    Google Scholar

    underground, website, internet, google, scholar
    Screenshot of Google Scholar.

    You know that annoying, nagging feeling when you’re reading through an article that references a new study (about Internet addiction, or candy consumption, or why people feel the need to buy those AMC popcorn buckets at ridiculous prices) and you wish you could see the actual data? Google Scholar fixes that. It’s a free search engine for academic papers, journal articles, and dissertations—over 160 million documents—that anyone can use, no university login required. Just type your question and find out what scientists actually found. It’s a superpower most people don’t know they have access to.

    Etymology Online

    underground, website, internet, etymology, online
    Photo credit: Etymology OnlineScreenshot of Etymology Online.

    Did you know “disaster” literally means “bad star”? Or that “salary” comes from the Latin word for salt? Douglas Harper spent years building Etymology Online, a free dictionary of over 50,000 word origins, to provide information just like this to the masses. Here, you can trace the origins of modern English words back to their ancient roots. It’s the kind of site where you look up one word and resurface forty-five minutes later, cognizant of the terrifying origin of the word “nightmare.” You’re welcome.

    Rainy Cafe

    underground, website, internet, rainy, cafe
    Screenshot of Rainy Cafe.

    Science confirmed what coffee shop regulars always knew: a moderate level of ambient noise makes you more creative. Rainy Cafe bottles that affect into two sliders: one for café sounds, one for rain. Blend them to your taste and get to work. No ads, no account, no upsell. Writers and remote workers have been quietly using it for years.

    Remove.bg

    underground, website, internet, remove, background
    Screenshot of remove.bg

    Removing a background from a photo used to require Photoshop skills or a graphic designer friend. And something called a “lasso tool”? Now it takes about five seconds. Drop your image into Remove.bg, and its AI cleanly cuts the background out, including tricky edges like hair and fur, then hands it right back to you. The site processes over 150 million images a month, which is, like, so many images. It feels almost like cheating.

    Booky.io

    underground, website, internet, booky, io
    Screenshot of Booky.io

    Browser bookmarks are where good intentions go to die. Everyone has hundreds of them. Nobody can find anything, no matter how many late-night sessions you spend obsessively reorganizing them. Skip the hassle and head to Booky.io, a clean, private bookmark manager with color-coded collections you can navigate with ease. Works on every device, has a browser extension, and—crucially—doesn’t track you or sell your data.

    Explore.org

    underground, website, internet, explore, nature
    Screenshot of Explore.org

    Right now, Sandhill Cranes might be gathering on the banks of Audubon’s Rowe Sanctuary in central Nebraska. Or cute, playful kittens are playing together at Los Angeles’ Kitten Rescue Sanctuary. A bald eagle in Iowa might be feeding her chicks. The best part? You can watch all of it live, free, and uninterrupted on Explore.org, the world’s largest network of live nature cams. There are more than 150 live cameras. No narration, no editing. Just the wild world doing its thing in real time. The most peaceful tab you’ll ever have open.

    Clear Dark Sky Charts

    underground, website, internet, clear, skies
    Screenshot of Clear Dark Sky Charts.

    Amateur astronomers and star enthusiasts have a very specific weather problem: “Is it going to be clear enough tonight?” Unfortunately, regular forecasts don’t answer that. But Clear Dark Sky Charts does. This beautifully nerdy site delivers hour-by-hour predictions for cloud cover, transparency, and atmospheric “seeing” for over 6,100 locations across North America. If you’ve ever wanted to stargaze but never knew when to try, start here.

    IMSLP

    underground, website, internet, music, library
    Screenshot of the International Music Score Library Project.

    Sheet music is expensive. Buying a tuba, even if it’s used and from eBay, is expensive. IMSLP is not. The International Music Score Library Project hosts over 855,000 free, public-domain scores—you’ll find Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, and thousands more—that any musician or music lover can download instantly. Before this site existed, tracking down a rare orchestral score meant haunting university libraries. Now it’s three clicks away.

    Lissa Explains It All

    underground, website, internet, lissa, explainer
    Screenshot of Lissa Explains It All.

    In 1997, an 11-year-old in Orlando named Alyssa had trouble remembering HTML codes. So, she built a website to keep track of them…and accidentally became one of the Internet’s first teachers. By her early teens, her site had 500,000 monthly visitors. Lissa Explains It All is still live, still free, and still one of the warmest places on the Internet to learn the basics of building a webpage.

    In conclusion…

    The Internet is bigger, stranger, and more generous than the algorithm usually shows you. These 10 sites are proof. Bookmark them. (Or, use Booky.io!) Enjoy the feeling of having found something genuinely worth finding.

  • Doctor warns Boomers’ screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms
    Photo credit: CanvaDoctor warns Boomers' screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms
    ,

    Doctor warns Boomers’ screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms

    Excessive screen time for adults can cause “digital dementia.”

    Millennials have noticed a problem with their Boomer parents’ phone addiction, and they’re calling it out. At first, it seemed like harmless teasing about role reversal, but their excessive screen time just might be an issue. Dr. Sue Varma, Board Certified Psychiatrist, reveals the risks related to increased screen time in adults.

    The negative effects of too much screen time have been discussed ad nauseam when it comes to children and teens. However, rarely talked about is the cognitive impact it has on adults of all ages. Given that Boomers have reached senior status, cognitive lapses are already a heightened concern for many.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly woman smiling at phone
    Photo Credit: Canva

    It turns out that screens might be mimicking a serious issue. This can create concern and anxiety for Boomers and their children. The psychiatrist joined the CBS Mornings co-hosts for a candid chat about the research on screen time.

    When discussing the impacts of screen time on adults, Varma drops a bombshell, saying, “We end up getting something called digital dementia or digital fog, where the symptoms of poor attention span, memory, concentration all go down, and it very much mimics a real dementia where you walk into a room and you’re like ‘why am I here, what did I come for, where are my keys?’ The tip of the tongue feeling, like there’s a word, there’s a name, ‘I know that person, I can picture them in my head,’ and the word doesn’t come to mind.”

    Researchers Rinanda Shaleha and Nelson Roque from the Pennsylvania State University Department of Human Development and Family Studies, Center for Healthy Aging, report concerning findings. “Digital engagement among older adults also carries risks, including attention deficits, disrupted sleep patterns, social isolation, reduced physical activity, and structural brain changes that could accelerate cognitive decline and dementia onset. Extended screen exposure may further contribute to visual fatigue, chronic distraction, and sedentary behaviors, potentially exacerbating cognitive vulnerabilities,” the duo writes in a recent study.

    Dr. Varma tells CBS Mornings that the symptoms can “very much look like dementia,” invoking the “if you don’t use it, you lose it” warning. This isn’t just a quirky thing that happens and stops when the phone is put down.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly man on laptop.
    Photo Credit: Canva

    According to Dr. Varma, “There are real structural changes in the brain for people who are using excessive screens, and we see that a lot of older adults are using 10 hours a day. That’s seven and a half hours of TV plus four hours of phones.” She later adds that 63% of seniors “find that social media strengthens their connections.”

    Not all Boomers fall into this category. Many are connecting with their community physically, but those with chronic illnesses tend to be on screens more often. Pew Research found that 41% of all adults report being online constantly, 84% say they’re online multiple times a day.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly woman looking at tablet.
    Photo Credit: Canva

    If people are interested in breaking their phone habit, she advises them to put their phone in grayscale mode. Varma adds that replacing digital things with their analog counterparts will also help break a phone habit. Finding ways to connect in person instead of passively scrolling also reduces screen time. Varma says that these small changes can help limit your screen time and re-engage your brain.

  • Doctor explains why some people can’t bring themselves to touch a deceased loved one’s things
    Photo credit: CanvaDoctor explains why some people can't bring themselves to touch a deceased loved one's things

    Losing someone you love is never easy, and the process is different for everyone. For some people, keeping their deceased loved one’s things exactly the way they left them is part of it. But to some people, this act of enshrinement can be viewed as unhealthy. Dr. Jason Singh argues that this behavior isn’t unhealthy at all. In fact, he explains that it’s actually your brain doing something intelligent.

    In a recent video, Singh makes his case. The doctor asks, “Have you ever lost someone and couldn’t bring yourself to touch a single thing they left behind?” At this point people may be expecting that he would touch on ways to move on from this kind of grief, but he doesn’t.

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A grieving woman. Photo Credit: Canva

    Instead, he shares information about the brain that can help those who are struggling with the reality of being unable to move these items. “Here’s something you may not have realized,” Singh says. “You’re not keeping their stuff because you’re stuck. You’re keeping it because your brain is doing something profoundly intelligent.”

    Singh explains that while people around you may think leaving a deceased loved one’s unwashed coffee mug untouched is unhealthy, it’s not. He shares that our brains are constantly updating information on the people we know. Like a computer system, it’s always processing new information and looking for updates. When someone we love dies, there is no new information about that person for our brains to process and categorize.

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    Man comforting a grieving woman. Photo Credit: Canva

    Leaving things as the deceased person left them is bridging this stalled function in a way. According to Singh, “Objects are not just objects to a grieving mind. They’re the last negotiation your nervous system has with permanence. See, when your dad passes away, or your mom passes away, something neurologically catastrophic happens that has nothing to do with sadness. Your brain, which has spent decades building a mental model of that person, their voice, their patterns, their presence, suddenly receives no more data to update that model with, and it refuses to close the file.”

    He says a brain that refuses to “close that file isn’t grief” because closing it would dismantle the attachment architecture that person helped build. “So that room is not a shrine,” Singh explains. “It’s a server that’s still running, and I don’t believe you’re in denial of their death. I honestly don’t. You’re in a silent war between two parts of your brain. The prefrontal cortex, which is the logical, forward-moving, knows that they’re gone, and the limbic system. The part that holds every memory of being loved by them.”

    The doctor says that Bond’s Theory explains that there is no logical way to override that program breakdown. Picture it like the old Windows buffering signal. The computer is on, it’s running, but it can’t move forward, no matter which button you press to escape the screen. Due to this theory, Singh shares that getting rid of their things may feel like participation in their erasure.

    Singh’s explanation resonated with viewers deeply. One person reveals, “This is awesome, thank you. Husband’s clothing still in closets and dresser, his two pair of running shoes still under the bed. Two years, 4 months since he passed.”

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A woman comforts a grieving elderly man. Photo Credit: Canva

    Another shares, “Thank you. I thought maybe I wasn’t dealing with my husband’s death 4 months ago very healthy….I can’t even remove his things from the shower as it feels like I’m moving him out of my life and that’s the last thing I want to do. He was ,y best friend and we were married 36 1/2 years and I miss him so much it hurts every day.

    It took me 3 months to finally wash his dress socks and the entire time I was washing them I was asking myself why I was washing them and what I was going to do with them once they were all washed? I matched them and put them away in his drawer and thought to myself how silly I was as these are just “things” but these socks had his feet in them and I just can’t bare to get rid of things he touched or wore or used and Ona afraid of being a ridiculous pack rat, but I have given and will continue to give my 5 adult kids his things and try to figure out what to do with the rest.”

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A grieving man looks out a window. Photo Credit: Canva

    One grieving child writes, “This was good to hear. I lost my Mama 5 years ago, my parents live with my family and we’ve barely touched anything in her room, my Dad and me go in and sit ‘with her’ when we need to and although we have taken a few things out and moved some things around it’s basically as it was when we lost her that day… mug still there, slippers by the bed, clothes folded on the chair, clothes still hanging in the wardrobe, teddy on the bed and ornaments on the shelves etc all sitting there… like they’re waiting for her to come home.”

    Someone else shares, “Wow, this makes so much sense. I walk into my father’s closet, touch the clothes, smell them and then close the door. That’s all I can do right now. I also am still paying for his phone.”

Life Hacks

What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?

Generations

Doctor warns Boomers’ screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms

Culture

Doctor explains why some people can’t bring themselves to touch a deceased loved one’s things

Skills

6 party ideas that actually make it easier to invite people over