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When his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, Bob put on a tutu and went straight for the laughs.

"Excuse me sir, are you wearing anything under your tutu?" the police officer asked.

The man responded, "Yes, officer, I am wearing my pink shorts that match my pink tutu."

You never know what you'll see in NYC, or anywhere, with the tutu man. All photos via Bob Carey, used with permission.

The man rocking the pink tutu is named Bob Carey, and for over 10 years, he's been running around in it for a very special person: his wife, Linda.

When Linda was diagnosed with breast cancer, Bob, a photographer, did two of the things he knew how to do best: He got out his camera and his silly humor.

As a coping mechanism and to show support to his wife during her battle, he started taking photos of himself in a light pink tutu in the most random places — no matter the temperature or location.

You can't help but smile at his effort.

And that's the entire point. It's no wonder The Tutu Project has become such a hit.

"When Linda would go for treatment, she would take the images on her phone, and the women would look at them, and it would make them laugh and make the time pass," Bob says about the project.

Bob's been dancing around all over the place:

On the Coney Island boardwalk.


In an Arizona parking lot.


Standing on water.

Hanging on for dear life.

Making new friends in Germany.

Making new friends who speak in "moo."

Wandering around a football stadium.

Stranded in the desert.

The photos have been shared and admired all over the world. And it's not just about the laughs they create — it's about how they serve as a way to reach out to one another and show support.

"Oddly enough, her cancer has taught us that life is good, dealing with it can be hard, and sometimes the very best thing — no, the only thing — we can do to face another day is to laugh at ourselves and share a laugh with others," Bob says

But Bob isn't the only one in a tutu anymore. More laughs are being shared than ever before with the launch of the #Dare2Tutu campaign.

Here's how it works: People from all over the world are daring each other to wear a tutu and take a picture of it, tagging it with #Dare2Tutu. They're also encouraging donations to their nonprofit, The Carey Foundation, which provides funding for daily cancer-related expenses like the cost of counseling, transportation to treatment, and daycare during therapy.

You can check out some of the #Dare2Tutupictures submitted so far on Instagram. I love them!

Cheers to Bob and Linda for the beautiful reminder that love, support, and humor really have no limits.

We can all do our part to share some happy, positive vibes with others. Get started!

Mental Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

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Culture

Language expert gives incredible speech to high school students using only Gen Alpha slang

"Keep cooking, stay goated, never be mid."

YouTube, Canva

Xiaomanyc gives a speech to Alpha Gen for Language Week

With nearly 10 million subscribers/followers—and over one billion views across social media platforms—you may know Xiaomanyc 小马在纽约. He's a linguist who is so curious and immersed in other languages, he finds meaning in being able to speak to different cultures with depth.

His given name is Arieh Smith, and he's a 30-something New Yorker with an astonishing gift for communication. In short, he's a polyglot. According to Euronewsthey describe the "polyglot" as, of course, some fluent in French, Spanish, and Mandarin Chinese, but also "dabbles in Yoruba, Navajo, Fuzhounese, Wolof, and Hindi."

He also speaks Portuguese, Yiddish (he's of Jewish Ashkenazi descent), Tamil, and Telugu alongside other Chinese dialects at a "conversational level." He even shocked some Dubliners by speaking Gaeilge that some native Irish didn't understand.

In fact, here he is "surprising strangers in every language."

Xiaomanyc 小马在纽约www.youtube.com

In an interview with Euro News Travel, he shares why learning Mandarin at an early age meant so much to him:

“I think the reason why I continued studying it to the extent that I did was… I got very positive feedback from Chinese people, very early on.”

The idea that he is able to connect with so many worldwide is meaningful to him. But it's equally important to those with whom he's connecting—especially in cultures where a language might be dying out.

"I think people want their culture to be seen and heard. If you know how to say something in their language — or if you even know that their country, culture, and food exist — it’s a sign of respect and people really appreciate that.”

If one can cross cultural and linguistic boundaries, why not generational ones too? When asked to speak at Westtown High School, he was up for the challenge. From his YouTube description:

"I was invited… as a language expert about the importance of learning languages, in front of a full auditorium of high school and middle school students. But instead of just telling the students why language matters… I decided to show them."


Dressed as a "nerdy professor," complete with bowtie and horn-rimmed glasses, he begins while the enthusiastic middle and high school kids restlessly listen. "A huge W to be vibing here at Westtown High School for Languages Week. But Chat, Chat, let's lock in. Bro came prepared."

The students begin to erupt with laughter.

He continues, "Now I know it's giving delulu for this chewby goober to speak in such Skibidi brain rot."

Now the audience seems totally sold.

"But if you'll bear with me, I'll put the fries in the bag in just a second. I do actually have a message here." (And then under his breath, he adds, "Type s--t.")

"No cap, I was dead ass pressed about learning this language, but I had to absorb the drip so I wouldn't get aired by your generation. High key, people think Gen Alpha slang is just memes and brain rot. But on God, it's giving a linguistic glow-up core, happening IRL."

"Every time you drop a GYAT or 'it's giving,' you're legit patching the English language DLC with fresh updates. Literally shifting the English meta. Language evolves because you're constantly cooking new ways to pass the vibe check. And honestly, your memes finna hit as the textbook vocab of tomorrow. Bet."

alpha generation, slang, linguistics, words, languageA woman says "it's giving..."Giphy, CocoJuice GIF

"And this is exactly why learning language hits different. Just like your casual Pookie talk could soon be the dictionary definition, picking up another language gives you front-row seats to how people around the world give the deets. It's like unlocking infinite drip. Allowing you to catch dubs across cultures, connect deeper with the squad and stan new perspectives that would otherwise leave you ghosted.

Languages aren't just sus grammar rules, fam. They're the ultimate Rizz for becoming a real one everywhere you pull up. It’s the GigaChad energy for me.

So knowing languages isn't mid. But it's not just a flex either. It's an infinite money glitch that slaps. People finna get pressed saying languages are chopped or too hard. Don't listen, Bestie, they're just salty because their language game is dog water. Being multilingual is OD. Letting you stan cultures, vibe with international fam, and utterly Mog your career. No cap, speaking another language lets you go off, turning you into an absolute conversation Rizzler.

So yeah Chat, that's the sauce. Keep cooking, stay goated, never be mid. And FR, study hard and go Rizz up that knowledge."

rizz, gen alpha, slang, language, lingustics A penguin winks Giphy, GIF by Pudgy Penguins

The crowd applauds uproariously. Just as if they were a small, tribal group hanging on to their traditional and unique way of communication, these kids seemed to enjoy being seen and understood. Also, they got a huge laugh out of a seminar they might have otherwise found boring. Bet.

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Television

Watch the tense moment Lucille Ball tells a host to take his hands off female audience members

It was common for male hosts to kiss, hug, and touch women in the 70s. It was not common for a woman to publicly challenge them.

CBS Television (Public Domain)
Lucille Ball was a powerhouse both on screen and off.

According to her daughter, Lucille Ball never considered herself a feminist, but there's no question she blazed many a trail for women. A working mother in real life, she depicted issues facing housewives with her brilliant television comedy and became the first female studio head in Hollywood. She broke glass ceilings but wasn't particularly outspoken about women's rights. In fact, in a 1980 interview with "People," she said, “They can use my name for equal rights, but I don’t get out there and raise hell because I’ve been so liberated, I have nothing to squawk about.”

Ball empowered women by example—and by speaking her mind. Carol Burnett shared a story on PBS about how Ball was unhappy with a script for her new show, but women at that time didn't raise concerns about such things. Men could express criticism and demand changes, but women simply didn't. Ball did—and firmly—despite being non-confrontational by nature. Later she told Burnett, "Kid, that's when they put the 's' at the end of my name."

A video has been circulating on social media showing Ball's no-nonsense way of speaking up when she felt the need to, and people are gushing over it.


Lucille Ball, 70s, 80s, 60s, I Love Lucy, television, actress, hollywood, sexism, misogynyLucille Ball was a massive star, but perhaps best known for the show 'I Love Lucy'By CBS Television - Public Domain

In 1978, Ball participated in a Q & A session with UCLA theater arts students on the television program "America Alive!" The viral clip shows Ball repeatedly telling one of the hosts, David Sheehan, to take his hands off of female audience members when they were asking a question.

"Will you take your hands off, David?" she says as he introduces one young woman. "Take your hands off of her," she says again as he places his hand on the shoulder of another. "David, would you take your hands away?" she says as he places his hands on another woman in a sparkly gold dress.

Watch:

@femalequotient

We love Lucy ❤️

People laughed every time, but Ball didn't so much as crack a smile during her clear, simple, repeated "hands off" admonitions.

For 1978 especially, her advocacy for the women in the audience was extraordinary. Sheehan wasn't touching these women in a lewd or sexual manner, but he was touching them in a way that he wouldn't have touched a man who was asking a question. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it at the time, but Lucille Ball immediately noted it and didn't let it stand.

"I love that she didn't even laugh when the room was," shared one commenter. "She was not joking."

"'Take your hands off her, David,' should be a sound AND a t-shirt," wrote another.

"He kept trying. She kept telling him. Love her," shared another.

"Lucille Ball always reminds me of my grandma," offered another. "She hated to be seen as delicate, and she hated men that would touch her even more. She would say, stone-faced, 'Get your paws off.'"

Here are a few more of the best comments:

"the audience laughed and she said 'ain't nothing funny.' love her"

"This happened to me so much growing up and I noticed from very young the boys weren't treated this way."

"Even then she knew how the industry was I LOVE IT AND LOOOOVE LUCY SO MUCH"

A commenter on Reddit noted that Ball started her career as a chorus girl and dancer. "She knows every creepy man trick in the book"

Television and game shows from the 70s and 80s are an incredible time capsule of the culture and norms of the era. Sheehan wasn't the only one who tended to get a little handsy.

It was common for male hosts to kiss female contestants. Richard Dawson, host of The Family Feud, was famous for it. Even our beloved Bob Barker of The Price Is Right often had women suggestively reach into his jacket to fish out their $100 bill.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

There's a casual lecherous-ness that famous men seemed to get away with easily at the time. For anyone to publicly challenge them on their behavior was absolutely shocking.

Even if Sheehan was casually touching those women out of habit and not ill intent, it's laudable that Ball made a point of making him aware of it. Unfortunately, women are still having to deal with men touching them without being invited to, but seeing Lucille Ball's serious face while calling it out is a good reminder that women have been fighting this battle for a long time. Good for her for using her microphone and the respect afforded her to speak up for the young women in her audience.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

High school teacher quits her job because 'technology is ruining education'

“We’ve got to start getting rid of the technology and bringing back the things that worked.”

via Canva/Photos

A stressed teacher and student looking at her phone.

Last year, the National Center for Education Statistics published a disturbing study that found that the number of Americans with the lowest measured literacy levels increased substantially between 2017 and 2023. In 2017, 19% of U.S. adults ranked at the lowest levels of literacy, and that number increased to 28% in 2023.

“It is larger than what we would normally see in an international assessment, particularly literacy, which is a fairly stable construct,” NCES Commissioner Peggy Carr said. She added that low literacy levels don’t mean someone is illiterate, but cannot read and write at a level to handle basic living and workplace tasks. When pressed for an answer to the literacy decline in America, she said, “It is difficult to say.”

Why are teachers leaving education?

Hannah Maria, an outgoing 10th-grade English teacher, went viral recently for a nine-minute video in which she described the reason why she thinks there has been a big decline in literacy in the U.S.: technology. The problem has become so bad that it was a major reason why she decided to leave the profession.

"Technology is directly contributing to the literacy decrease we are seeing in this country right now. A lot of these kids don't know how to read because they have had things read to them, or they can click a button and have something read out loud to them,” Maria said. “Their attention spans are weaning because everything is high-stimulation, and they can just scroll [away from something] in less than a minute. They can’t sit still for very long.”

Her students no longer care about watching movies in class; they just stare at their phones. Maria can count on her hands the number of kids in her three classes who actually pay attention to the film on movie day. This lack of attention span and disinterest in learning literacy skills makes it a chore to ask them to write anything by hand. "It's disheartening because if I ask a child to handwrite something, even just a paragraph, five sentences, a basic paragraph, they roll their eyes, throw tantrums. ...they get really unruly,” she lamented.

smartphone, student, student cellphone, desk, classroom, staring at phoneA child staring at his phone in the classroom.via Canva/Photos

Maria says students' disinterest in literacy skills has led them to stop caring about America's foundational documents. That’s a big problem in a democracy that requires a well-informed electorate.

The former teacher suggests that kids should be cut off from technology until they reach college to reverse this trend. "Call me old-fashioned, but we're at the point where I really don't have a lot of faith in some of these kids that I teach. That doesn't go for all," she says, noting she'd had "several" students who have bright futures and want to succeed.

smartphone, student, young woman, backback, hallwayA distressed student with a smartphone sits in the hallway. via Canva/Photos

However, she doesn’t hold her students 100% accountable for the trend. "The older generations have failed them because they haven't emphasized enough that learning how to read and write and use basic mathematical skills is important. These kids just have these devices in their hands that they think will get them through the rest of their life,” she said. “We’ve got to start getting rid of the technology and bringing back the things that worked.”

Ultimately, her students’ attitudes have led Maria to find a new career. She says the biggest reason she’s leaving education is the pay, but if the experience with the students was better, she could have "toughed it out."

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Technology

Washing machines are basically magic. Of course, more than clothes can be thrown in there.

“I’ve never dry-cleaned an item in my life."

Photo credit: Canva

It's time to unlock the mysteries of your washing machine.

Your washing machine is basically a superhero in disguise. Sure, it can handle a t-shirt or bundle of socks, no problem, but did you know that your trusty appliance can also tackle a mountain of other random objects? But don’t start tossing everything and the kitchen sink into the washer, because there are also some serious no-nos, when it comes to laundry day. From surprising additions to machine-breaking mishaps, knowing what can and cannot go into your washer can be the difference between a small household catastrophe and simple, easier living. Let’s unlock the mysteries of the appliance.

10 things you CAN stick in the washing machine

1. Stuffed animals: Your beloved teddy bears and Squashmallows are usually perfect fits for the washing machine. “Most plush toys can be washed in a washing machine,” Real Simplereminds. “However, be careful with stuffed animals that have sequins, hats or fragile clothing (e.g., sheer), buttons and other plastic accessories, and glued-on eyes.” For the best protection, toss your cherished companion into a mesh laundry bag, turn the dial to cold water, wash on a gentle cycle, then air dry.

2. Baseball caps: Think about how many times greasy, sweaty fingers graze the tips of baseball caps. Yuck. Although experts recommend washing baseball caps by hand, “if you’re determined to use a washing machine, be sure to place your hat in a mesh bag and wash it on a gentle or delicate cycle in cold water,” writes the New York Times. Always remember to air dry to maintain that head-shaped mold: nobody wants an ill-fitting cap.

3. Yoga mats: It’s time to give your yoga mat the deep-clean of its dreams. Wipes and pat-downs are great for the short-term, but as REIreports, yoga mats are “a near-perfect storm for harboring germs” in which bacterial growth and unwanted odors can fester. Check your mat for specifics, but in most cases, use a delicate cycle with minimal detergent, then skip the spin cycle entirely. Air dry away from direct sunlight. Remember: yoga mats should be cleaned every month or so.

4. Shower curtains and liners: “Shower curtains are designed to withstand lots of hot water, so you should be able to wash any shower curtain in the washing machine on a low heat cycle,” says Pro Housekeepers. You can even toss them in with a few towels on a gentle cycle with warm water! But keep in mind: cold water can make plastic curtains crack and rip, so always stick to warm.

5. Small rugs and mats: Clean the rugs in your entryways or hallways and the mats in your kitchen and bathroom with a few rounds in the washing cycle. “Whether your rug is washing machine friendly depends on its size, material, and care label instructions. Cotton and some synthetic fibers are usually good to go, but wool, silk, jute, and shag aren’t typically washer friendly,” advises Whirlpool. Shake out the dirt first, then wash on gentle with cold or warm water; always air dry to prevent shrinkage or backing damage.

washing machine, settings, safe, laundry, dryer Knowing how to properly clean your washing machine-safe items is important. Photo credit: Canva

6. Backpacks and lunch bags: It’s important to clean these: just imagine how dirty the floors you’re setting them down on are! Many lunch boxes and backpacks can be thrown into the washing machine “to save you lots of hard scrubbing by hand,” writes Speed Queen. Turn inside out like a pillowcase for an extra gentle clean.

7. Oven mitts and pot holders: “These kitchen essentials handle grease and heat daily,” says Alicia Sokolowski, the president and co-CEO at AspenClean to The Washington Post. “Give them a refresh in the washing machine to keep them looking and smelling clean.” These items can handle a normal wash cycle with warm water, so feel free to throw them in with your towels. For extra saucy, grimy, kitchen disaster-y mitts, pre-treat with a spritz of white vinegar first, rinse, then wash separately.

8. Pillows (down and fiberfill only): It’s not just the shams and pillow covers—the entire thing can be thrown in the washing machine. “Most pillows, including those filled with cotton, feathers, down, and fiberfill, can be cleaned in a washing machine using warm water on the gentle cycle,” reports Martha Stewart. Wash two at a time to maintain balance and use minimal detergent. Rinse twice then dry thoroughly, with tennis balls or dryer balls, for maximum fluffiness.

9. Sneakers: This is one of the best kept secrets, one so obvious, that it could just…sneak by. Remove the laces (which you can wash in a mesh bag), toss the shoes in with some towels to soften the noise, always use cold water, and air dry. By cushioning your sneakers and preventing them from banging against the drum, you’ll be protecting the machine (and your ears.)

10. Reusable shopping bags: One of life’s simple pleasures: a good, reusable shopping bag. But over time, shopping trips in grocery carts and carrying fresh produce can really create some damage...and germs. So, turn your bag inside out, use warm water, turn on a gentle cycle, and air dry. In a 2010 study funded by the American Chemistry Council, 97% of the people interviewed never washed their reusable bags. Don’t be one of these people.


Washing machine, unexpected items, dryer , laundry, washer, cleanYour washing machine is a superhero. Photo credit: Canva

Your washing machine is a superhero, but that doesn’t mean it’s invincible! Always check care labels, use mesh bags when washing small or delicate items, and balance the load when dealing with heavy items like shoes or rugs. Good luck—and enjoy exploring your washing machine’s unknown powers.

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