+
upworthy
Modern Families

Wife shares brilliant reason why her dad should witness her husband's colonoscopy

That's one way to deal with pushy in-laws.

mother-in-law in delivery room; Reddit AITA; delivery room boundaries; new parents; motherhood
MART Productions|Canva

Wife shares brilliant reason her dad should see husband's colonoscopy

Becoming a couple means you're taking on another family, especially if you're married or in a long-term relationship. An additional family means you're learning people's personalities and quirks as they learn yours. There are plenty of people that luck out and get in-laws that are the epitome of kindness, love and boundaries

Then there are those that get the in-laws that live up to every stereotype there is about in-laws. Trying to set a boundary with those in-laws feels a lot like trying to teach a goldfish to walk on a leash. But when your partner starts to wain on holding boundaries alongside you, it can make for some uncomfortable conversations.

One woman took to Reddit about her own overbearing mother-in-law and the proposition she gave her husband in an effort to reinforce his support for the boundary she set. The woman is pregnant with presumably her first child and her mother-in-law is insisting that she attend the the actual birth.


We're not talking about her being at the hospital in the waiting room with a bubble gum cigar and a cute stuffed animal. Her husband's mom wants to be in the delivery room when her new grandchild makes their way into the world. In other circumstances this may not be a big deal. There are plenty of women close with their mother-in-laws who would welcome the extra love in the room to welcome the new baby. But this mom-to-be describes her husband's mom as pushy, judgmental and overbearing, pointing out that she wasn't allowed in the delivery room when her own daughters gave birth for the same reasons.

According to the post, her husband was very supportive and has a history of standing up for her with his parents but has started to cave on this particular issue.

The frustrated wife reveals, "She has started crying to him that all she wants is to see a grandchild being born. All her friends have experienced it and she wants it. He is starting to crumble under her emotional blackmail."

"So I made it clear that the only way I would agree was if, before the birth, my husband made arrangements for my father to witness him getting a colonoscopy," she continues.

mother-in-law in delivery room; Reddit AITA; delivery room boundaries; new parents; motherhoodwoman in gray and white floral shirt sitting on bedPhoto by Jimmy Conover on Unsplash

Of course her husband was not interested in having an audience during his colonoscopy. But after explaining that her dad never got to see her brothers get pictures of the inside of their colons and felt left out, he admits that he understands her point.

"His mother is upset that I used such a stupid comparison. She says that it isn't the same thing at all. I offered to change it to me watching her get a Brazilian wax and she hasn't called in a week," the wife writes.

Commenters were especially supportive of this new mom's boundaries being upheld. One person shares, "Boundaries during childbirth are especially important. I watched my niece give birth to her first born, it was awesome. This second go round she only wanted her mama in there." They continue, "moms in labor have to be as comfortable and stress-free as possible while delivering, and that includes who is in the room and who isn't."

mother-in-law in delivery room; Reddit AITA; delivery room boundaries; new parents; motherhood

person wearing blue shirt putting baby on scale

Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

"Giving birth is not a spectator sport. No means no," another person writes.

"Your comparison was perfect and and your feelings are reasonable. And frankly your husband doesn’t really get a say. This is your medical procedure and you can simply tell your medical team she is not welcome," someone says.

Another person followed up adding, "The husband has so little say in this matter that the hospital won't even let him in if Op doesn't want him to be there."

The overwhelming consensus is that boundaries being upheld during birth are extremely important and the woman just might be a genius with her requests. That's certainly one way to let people know you're serious about who is and isn't allowed in the delivery room. It's such a delicate and sometimes traumatic time, the focus should be on the needs of the person giving birth, not the in-laws. Here's hoping for a healthy baby and smooth delivery.

Pop Culture

Two brothers Irish stepdancing to Beyoncé's country hit 'Texas Hold 'Em' is pure delight

The Gardiner Brothers and Queen Bey proving that music can unite us all.

Gardiner Brothers/TikTok (with permission)

The Gardiner Brothers stepping in time to Beyoncé's "Texas Hold 'Em."

In early February 2024, Beyoncé rocked the music world by releasing a surprise new album of country tunes. The album, Renaissance: Act II, includes a song called "Texas Hold 'Em," which shot up the country charts—with a few bumps along the way—and landed Queen Bey at the No.1 spot.

As the first Black female artist to have a song hit No. 1 on Billboard's country music charts, Beyoncé once again proved her popularity, versatility and ability to break barriers without missing a beat. In one fell swoop, she got people who had zero interest in country music to give it a second look, forced country music fans to broaden their own ideas about what country music looks like and prompted conversations about bending and blending musical genres and styles.

And she inspired the Gardiner Brothers to add yet another element to the mix—Irish stepdance.

Keep ReadingShow less
Focus Features/Youtube, Representative Image from Canva

A still from Focus Features' "Won't you Be My Neighbor?" documentary trailer (Left). Dad smiling and holding child (right)

Dad and parenting educator Jon Fogel, who goes by @wholeparent on social media, thinks he’s stumbled onto “one of the greatest parenting hack ever,” thanks to Mister Rogers.

In a clip posted to TikTok, Fogel explained how he had recently stumbled upon a study about the effect that “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” had on kids.”

“Kids who watched [the show] for whatever reason, seemed to be more patient, more calm, just more, like, emotionally attuned,” he said.

Keep ReadingShow less

A mother confronts her daughter for judging her friend's weight.

A 42-year-old mother wondered whether she did the right thing by disciplining her 18-year-old daughter, Abby, who disinvited a friend from vacation because of her weight. The mother asked people on Reddit for their opinion.

For some background, Abby had struggled with her weight for many years, so she went to her mother for help. The two set up a program where Abby was given a reward for every milestone she achieved.

“Four months ago, she asked that I don't get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK,” the mother wrote.

Keep ReadingShow less

A beautiful ship crosses the ocean.

Bryan James has become popular on social media for documenting his time working on Royal Caribbean International’s Odyssey of the Seas. He boarded the ship on December 8, 2023, and will continue his voyage through April 9, 2024.

The Odyssey of the Seas is one of the largest cruise ships in operation. It is 1,138 feet long and has a gross tonnage of 167,704 with 16 decks.

In a recent video, he revealed the biggest threat to passengers on a cruise ship. While most people, citing the Titanic disaster of 1912, would say it’s icebergs, according to James, it’s fires. He recently shared a video that shows just how seriously the Odyssey of the Seas takes the fire threat. The ship has massive doors installed in the ship that can prevent fire from moving through the ship.

Keep ReadingShow less

Our minds are overstimulated, leading us to crave distractions.

If you have a hard time staying focused on a task, you're not alone. In a Crucial Learning poll of 1,600 people, two out of three responded that they have a hard time staying focused on one task or one person. And this difficulty focusing happens in both of the major areas of life, with 68% responding that they have a hard time focusing at work and 62% said they struggle to focus at home.

It's not surprising that most people have attention deficit issues, considering what the vast majority of us are carrying around with us all day long. It's no longer just other people who occasionally interrupt what we're doing, but rather our daily barrage of message, emails, app notifications, news headlines, social media check-ins, advertisements and other distractions our phones or other handheld devices offer us.

However, according to productivity expert Chris Bailey, it's not so much the distractions that are keeping us from focusing, but rather the overstimulation of our brains that cause us to seek out distractions in the first place.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

Keep ReadingShow less