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She quit teaching, works at Costco, and has 'never been happier.' That says something.

Maggie Perkins' viral videos and unique perspective have ignited the conversation around teacher attrition.

Teacher turned Costco employee talking to camera

Maggie Perkins doesn't miss having a winter break.

Maggie Perkins loves teaching, loves teachers and loves students. In fact, she loves them so much that working on her Ph.D. in Educational Theory and Practice. Her research is focused on teacher attrition, examining why quality, experienced teachers quit the profession—something she understands all too well since she recently became one of them.

The former educator now works at Costco and she says she's never been happier. Her migraines are gone. Her anxiety has improved. She sleeps through the night. As an entry-level employee, she makes less money than she did teaching, but not enough less to make a difference in her financial situation. She goes home from work happy at the end of the day.

Perkins has been sharing the contrast in working conditions between the classroom and Costco on her TikTok channel and it is eye-opening, to say the least.


To be fair, Costco is known for employee satisfaction. They take good care of their people with solid wages and benefits, and as a result, they have an impressive 94% retention rate for employees who stay longer than a year. That's incredible for a retail business. And it's not just about their comparatively generous compensation package. Perkins has shared in several of her videos how she feels respected and valued as an employee at Costco—far more than she did as a teacher working in various schools, teaching various grades in two different states.

People often assume that the biggest reason teachers quit is inadequate pay, but compensation is just one piece of the teacher exodus puzzle. Perkins makes it clear that teachers should definitely be paid more, but attrition isn't just about money. It's often a result of burnout caused by a multitude of factors, including lack of time and support to do the job they are trained to do, the twisted way the teaching profession is viewed and valued by society and the pile-on of additional duties teachers are assigned to do besides teaching.

@millennialmsfrizz

Today I was on Varner & Co with 🦊. This is the full segment. It feels short, but they managed to squeeze me in between a study about it cheese causes nightmares and the woke 👮‍♀️ adding pants to a root beer mascot. It was my pleasure to make a contribution.

Let's look at the time element alone. Planning is a big part of teaching, especially if you're trying to meet individual students' learning needs, yet teachers are rarely given the amount of planning time they need. On top of that, the time they do have is often usurped by other things.

"Let's say you have a fight in your classroom," Perkins tells Upworthy. "Well, then you just lost 45 minutes of your planning because you're going to have to be in the front office doing documentation, calling people. You just lose your day. There's so many different ways to lose your whole day, and then you end up either taking work home or making hard choices about what to let go, like you're juggling glass and rubber balls and you have to figure out which ones are glass and which ones are rubber. Like, what can you let drop?"

@millennialmsfrizz

Tonight when I walked out of work, I felt happy. I felt happy because I enjoyed my work, my coworkers and felt good about my job. When I was a teacher I only felt good leaving work *because I was leaving* the building. Yes, of course, there were *things* I enjoyed about the job, but being a teacher was so much more than teaching, and the anxiety inducing parts of the job were shredding me. Education as a whole is an environment of scarcity. From the resources to the ways teachers are treated. Costco is run in a way that operates from a place of generosity and genuine care. It’s amazing to me that a multi billion dollar company can exude this for its members and employees but the education system cannot. #formerteacher #teacherquittok #costcotiktok #retailworker #exteachertiktok #formerteacher #scarcitymindset #costcodoesitagain

A big misconception some people have about teaching is that it's easier than other professions because you have long holiday breaks and summers off. Some even go so far as to use the word "cushy." Plenty of teachers have refuted that notion, showing how many hours they actually work outside of official work hours or how they have to work two jobs to not be living paycheck to paycheck.

"If you're coming at teachers being like, oh, you have a cushy job, then you work it," says Perkins. "If you think it's so soft and so cushy, it has so many amazing benefits, then come on over and work this job. More of us should be lining up for it."

"But if we have a teacher shortage, how can it be that cushy of a job?" she adds. The reality is that people who have never worked in a classroom have no idea how relentless and stressful it can be on multiple levels, even when you love teaching and love your students.

Here Perkins describes what it was like working a 7-day shift during the holidays instead of having that cushy winter break:

@millennialmsfrizz

I used to be a teacher and now I work at Costco. This is my first year not having a winter break. I do not miss it at all. My pace of my work life now is so much better, I am not sick or exhausted like I used to be when I was a teacher. When I was a teacher I used my winter break basically to recover and go into the next semester of just surviving. #f#formerteachert#teacherquittokc#costcotiktokr#retailworkere#exteachertiktokc#careertransitiont#teachersonbreak

Perkins points out that we don't actually have a teacher shortage, but rather a teacher exodus. There are plenty of qualified, credentialed teachers who have simply given up trying to make the career they love actually sustainable.

Many people have put forth suggestions for various school reforms, but those who have seen the problems from the inside know they are layered, widespread, systemic and deeply ingrained. Perkins tells Upworthy she believes the school system needs a complete overhaul.

"I think we will be forced into it," she says. "But I don't think that'll happen for at least 10 years. I think things are going to get much worse before they get better."

@millennialmsfrizz

If you are new to this account, you should know that the issues I discuss are things I’ve experienced at several schools, grade levels and in different states. These are systemic issues, and are getting worse, not better. But, welcome, I suppose, and I hope you feel seen, known and appreciated because you are. #teachersoftiktok #formerteacher #teacherquittok #educatedexit #KAYKissCountdown #educationcrisis #teachershortage

She says focusing more on teachers and students would help alleviate some of the "crash and burn" she sees coming, or perhaps even help prevent it. But some major changes would have to take place for that to happen.

"A teacher who has six class periods with 35 students in them? That person cannot possibly deliver quality instruction to all of those students all day. And then have one planning period to grade, plan, et cetera. It's just it's impossible."

She says reducing class sizes, increasing planning periods and eliminating extra duties such as carpool duty, hallway duty and other seemingly small things that chip away at a teacher's time are immediate changes that can and should be made. But school administration is often more focused on testing, data, and resources than on what students and teachers themselves need to create a healthy, sustainable learning environment.

Then there's the issue of how teachers are viewed. Outright disrespect is one thing teachers face, but even well-meaning people who think they are supporting teachers can contribute to the problem.

For instance, Perkins explained in a video that she doesn't call teachers "heroes" anymore because it's a loaded term that leads to a martyrdom mindset. After all, heroes fulfill the mission, no matter how hard it gets, right? Heroes are ready and willing to sacrifice it all for the cause. Most people who refer to teachers as "heroes" do so as a compliment, but when you really break down what that term means, it sets an expectation that teachers will do the job no matter how bad it gets, sacrificing themselves and their own well-being because their profession is a "noble" one. That's not just unfair; it's abusive.

@millennialmsfrizz

Teachers are called heros. Teaching is regarded as a noble profession, a higher calling. Teachers should be able to work in conditions that do not require heroic sacrifice. Teachers should be able to do their job in a normal way without suffering, sacrificing, defend for themselves etc. #teachersoftiktok #teacherquittok #teachersareheroes

"The thing that I most want to communicate in my videos is that teaching is not a 'noble profession.'" Perkins tells Upworthy. "It's a job, and people should be paid for the job that they do and respected for the work that they do, and that by attributing nobility to the profession, you assign to teachers this emotional labor of the whole culture, of the whole society."

"When we do that, we add to them additional responsibility above and beyond their actual jobs," she adds. "And then that allows people to degrade the profession by saying basically we pay you with emotion. Like we say, 'You're heroes!' and we get in the cycle of praising them for what they do, and then gaslighting them for what they fall short on. But what they're falling short on is stuff that was never their job in the first place."

Perkins also wants teachers to know that they have transferable skills and that they don't have to put up with a poor quality of life when they can find a higher one in a different profession.

"I see so many teachers like myself even feeling trapped or feeling limited, like teaching is the only thing we can do," she says. "And then when they go into other professions, they're wildly successful. They rise to the top in their career fields. They are good employees and they enjoy the quality of their life as well."

"I want to communicate to teachers—you're not stuck, you don't have to be afraid, your quality of life matters, and it's not selfish to transition your career, because a lot of teachers stay in it, too, because they don't want to feel like they're failing the students."

To hear more of Perkins' perspective on working at Costco and on what teaching can and should be, check out her TikTok channel @millennialmsfrizz.

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.


"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

@brunchwithbabs

Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

great depression, the great depression, great depression recipes, great depression food, great depression recipe
Lewis Wickes Hine/Library of Congress, Dorothea Lange/Wikipedia

Recipes from the Great Depression to make today.

The Great Depression, which lasted from 1929-1939, caused economic turmoil worldwide. Families struggled to feed themselves, and went to extreme lengths to stretch food and utilize all available ingredients.

Known as the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their resourcefulness resulted in a number of creative (and delicious) recipes that remain relevant today. Home chefs and bakers shared their Great Depression recipes on Reddit that have been passed down and are still enjoyed today to help others get inventive and save money.


From soups and stews to cakes, these are 17 Great Depression recipes to try.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Soups, Stews and More

Beef and Noodles

"My grandmas go to: Bag of egg noodles 1 can of creamed corn 1 can Campbells chicken noodle soup 1 lb ground beef. Salt and pepper to taste. Brown ground beef, add all other ingredients, add enough water or light chicken stock to cover noodles if needed. Bring to boil, and reduce to a simmer for about 15 minutes, take off the heat and let it rest 10 minutes before serving with buttered white bread. I still make this to this day. My kids loved it too. Basically homemade Hamburger Helper." - -__Doc__-

Hoover Stew

Ingredients

1 box noodles
A can of tomatoes
1 package of hot dogs, or 1 can of sausage or meat
A can of corn, peas or beans
2-4 cups water

Instructions

"Mix all ingredients together in a pot until boiling. Then simmer for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are tender. If you have aromatics, onion and garlic would be a great addition. If not, the recipe is great as is." - Josuaross54

Zaprezna soup

"Depression soup... make a roux, add salt pepper and caraway seeds. Add water to make a thick soup texture. Use an egg or two mixed with flour and salt pepper and mix together to make dumplings.. drop into the soup to cook.. This was called zaprezna soup or depression soup. We ate it often in the 60's after my dad abandoned us. Money was short but this soup was good." - User Unknown

Chipped Beef On Toast

Ingredients

8 oz. dried beef jerky
2 tbsp butter or oil
4 tbsp flour
4 cups milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Sliced homemade bread, for serving

Instructions

"Add jerky and oil to a pan over medium heat. Cook until the meat softens, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in your flour and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add milk and bring to a low boil. Allow sauce to thicken for up to 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper if you have it. Serve over homemade bread, toasted if desired." - Josuaross54

Rivel Soup

"In Ohio…My mom would cook Rivel Soup when I was a kid in 80s and 90s. She still makes it. It’s milk based with flour dough balls in it. I hate it. Sometimes they would fry potatoes and put them in the soup." - Vegetable_Record_855

Potato Soup

Ingredients

4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced (or 2 cans of potatoes)
2 garlic cloves, chopped
One carrot, sliced
A can of meat, sausage, or hot dogs (optional)
3 cups water or stock
3 cups milk
Any herbs you have on-hand
Salt to taste

Instructions

"Slice all your potatoes, garlic, and carrots. Add to a soup pot with the meat, water, and milk. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, keeping the mix at a low simmer. Then, cook for 30 minutes until all veggies are tender. Add herbs and salt, if using. Serve hot." - Josuaross54

Tuna Fish Stew

"My mother's family always made tuna fish stew. It is celery, potatoes, canned tuna fish, milk, and hard boiled eggs. Sautee the celery until half way cooked, throw in some chopped potatoes and water. Cook until the potatoes are done. Thin the stew with some milk. Throw in chopped hard boil eggs. Salt and pepper to taste Serve over stale bread. It was cheap, quick, and really filling." - RoseNoire4

@foodwanderer

Great Depression Cooking Recipe #greatdepression #recipe #cooking #frugalmeals #cookingonabudget #nostalgia #friedpotatoes #hotdogs #foodwanderer #tastetest #SplashSummerVibe

Sides

Baked Beans

Ingredients

1 package soaked dried beans, or 2 cans of beans
One tomato, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp lard
Two tbsp molasses
One cup water

Instructions
"Soak your beans, if using dried, overnight and drain the liquid. Prepare your veggies by chopping. Omit any vegetable that you do not have on-hand. Add lard to a stock pot and cook your vegetables until tender. Add the beans, molasses, and water. Cook all together with a lid on for 2-3 hours or until the beans have your desired consistency. Add more water if needed.

Milk Potatoes

"Milk potatoes. Fry sliced potatoes with salt, pepper and a bit of onion until almost done. Pour milk over potatoes and simmer until potatoes are cooked through." - kms811•6y ago

Ash Cakes

"Ash cakes got their name because different renditions are cooked in the hot white ash of your campfire. These are only 3 ingredients but are filling and have a great texture.

Ingredients

½ cup cornmeal
1 cup meat stock or water
2 tbsp lard or grease

Instructions
Mix both ingredients together in a bowl and allow to sit overnight to hydrate the cornmeal. Pat into a bread pan and refrigerate or add to your cool storage before allowing to set up. The next day, slice into 1-inch slices and fry in melted lard. Serve hot and crispy." - Josuaross54

Sweets

Potato Donuts

"Potato donuts 🍩 from depression era cooking with Dylan Hollis." - BainbridgeBorn

Wacky Cake

"If you have interest in baking, make a wacky cake. It’s a chocolate cake that has no milk, butter, or eggs, because those items were scarce during the Depression, but it is so good! The recipe I linked has more steps, but I’ve known a lot of people to literally just dump and mix everything in the baking dish." - gwhite81218

@bdylanhollis

The cake without butter, eggs or milk #baking #vintage #cooking #cake

Rice Pudding

Ingredients

1 cup rice
2 cups milk
2 tbsp butter
3 tbsp honey, maple syrup, or molasses
Pinch of cinnamon

"Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook over low heat, about 20 minutes, stirring frequently. Taste for doneness and cook an additional 5 minutes, tasting until desired consistency. Serve warm." - Josuaross54

Tomato Soup Cake

"Tomato soup cake." - AxelCanin

Water Pie

"Water pie 😋😍." - AxelCanin

Mock Apple Pie

"There was a thing for 'apple' pie made with Ritz crackers my grandmother made some time ago (she was born 1901 so def Depression life).https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9545/mock-apple-pie/ That recipe looks more complicated than the one grandma made, but there are a number of recipes online for it, including one made by Ritz, on the box." - User Unknown

Hard Time Pudding

"Batter: 1 cup flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup raisins (Optional, I hate them)
3 tsp Baking powder
1/2 cup water
Syrup: 1 1/2 cup Brown sugar
1 TBSP. butter/marg.
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 - 2 cup water

Mix together flour, sugar, raisins, Baking powder, and water. Pour into a baking dish. In a sauce pan combine brown sugar, butter, water bring to boil then add vanilla and pour over the batter. Bake at 300 º for 1/2 hour." - MsBean18

Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.
True
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.


He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

“Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.


Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

Changing the journey for a new generation

Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

“My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

“Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

“For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

Writing a new ending

After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

“Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

Learning

Communications expert shares 3 simple tricks to stop oversharing during conversations

Say goodbye to staring at your ceiling at 3 a.m. thinking about something embarrassing you said weeks ago.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations

Communication expert says these tricks can help you stop oversharing

People do all sorts of things when they're nervous during a conversation. Some people fidget, others avoid eye contact, and others get red and blotchy on their chest and neck. Then, there are also those who share way too much information at inappropriate times due to stress, nervousness, or simply being neurodivergent. Oversharing often results in feelings of embarrassment, which can result in more nervousness in the moment.

A lot of oversharing is involuntary, leaving people wondering how they can save their sanity by not doing it to begin with. Jefferson Fisher, a communications expert, has the solution for people struggling with chronic oversharing. We've all been there, even if it's not something that happens frequently. There's a moment of awkward silence, and you attempt to fill it, only to tell a story better suited for a group of friends, not a work function.


After oversharing occurs, it's often quickly followed by its best friend—overthinking. Overthinking brings along anxiety, which can drag insomnia into the mix, becoming a party of unwanted guests. But Fisher claims a few of his tricks will stop unwanted words from falling out of your mouth in no time.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a moment in the sunlit park.Photo credit: Canva

In the brief video uploaded to YouTube, Fisher lists how to combat the inclination to overshare:

1. Balance the conversation

Estimate the amount of time it took for the person you're speaking with to share information with you, then try to match the time when you share. Fisher says, "If you are taking double the amount of time that somebody used, meaning your two to their one, well then the conversation is unbalanced, and you're probably talking too much."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Feeling the stress: A young woman holds her head in frustration.Photo credit: Canva

2. Set a mental word limit

Fisher says to avoid talking too much and subsequently oversharing, practice only using three to four sentences to say what needs to be said. This will help you avoid dominating the conversation or accidentally sharing too much information in the wrong setting. "If the other person wants to know more, well, they can ask," Fisher explains.

3. Watch for cues

"If you're saying too much, the other person is going to start looking disinterested," Fisher says. "They're going to look bored, they're going to have lack of contact, and that's a great place for you to just ask a question, any question. Because it forces you to stop talking."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a laugh over coffee at a cozy café.Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to handling the embarrassment or guilt that can come from oversharing, Happiful shares how to help alleviate the vulnerability hangover, writing, "In situations where you begin noticing that pit in your stomach of regret or embarrassment about oversharing, talk about it with the person you just opened up to. It could be as simple as acknowledging it, which can diffuse any tension you feel and resolve any awkwardness."

Using grounding techniques like breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or doing something physical can all help alleviate the feelings that come from oversharing. Writing about your feelings in a journal or even chatting with a friend who understands your oversharing struggle can go a long way when it comes to reducing anxiety from sharing too much information.

No matter the reason for oversharing, using the simple techniques above just might do the trick to reduce the habit.

french, paris, france, love, romance, Eiffel Tower
Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A couple embrace. The Eiffel Tower

Leave it to the French to have the most beautiful, sexy, and sometimes non-translatable terms and phrases of endearment.

Their association with romance makes it extra ironic that the French don't often say "I love you" (or "Je t'aime"). At least according to BBC Features Correspondent Sylvia Sabes in her 2021 article, "Why the French rarely say 'I love you."


Sabes suggests that words this important shouldn't just be thrown around: "The French don't say 'I love you' because they don't have a verb to express heartfelt sentiments for the people they care about. There is only the verb 'aimer,' which means both 'to like' and 'to love.' As a result, a French person is not exaggerating when they conjugate 'aimer' to explain their relationship to rugby, a warm baguette, or the smell of lilacs."

lilacs, flowers, love, amour, beauty Close up of lilac flowers. Photo by Olha Suntsova on Unsplash

For this reason, they don't dilute the words "I love you" as often as one might think. "Naturally, then, it feels trite and rather mundane to use the same word when describing intense feelings of love for one's newborn baby, a childhood friend, or a life partner."

She further notes that the French "show" their love. (In fact, even the very words "flattery," "chivalry," and "romantic" all stem from Old French words— flatterie, chevalerie, and romantique, respectively.)

And this includes finding specific wording to show their romantic love. From literary geniuses like Victor Hugo to everyday romantics, here are some French quotes sure to grab (the right person's) attention:

"Je t’envoie l’éternité dans une minute"

Translation: I’m sending you eternity in a minute.

For the complete context of the sentence, Victor Hugo wrote in an unpublished manuscript Lettre à Léonie Biard:
"Je n'ai qu'un instant. Je t'envoie l'éternité dans une minute, l'infini dans un mot, tout mon cœur dans : je t'aime."

Translation: "I only have a moment. I’m sending you eternity in a minute, infinity in a word, all my heart in: I love you."

This was written to Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet, a woman with whom Hugo had a scandalous affair. Once they were caught, she was arrested and sent to prison.

"Un seul être vous manque, et tout est dépeuplé"

Translation: "Only one person is missing, and the world is depopulated (empty.)"

On the subreddit r/French, someone asks for French "love quotes/sentences" for a letter they're writing for an anniversary. Regarding their boyfriend, they write in part, "Our 9th anniversary is coming next month and I want to write him a letter, but I want to include some cute and/or romantic quotes or sentences in French, no matter how silly or cheesy, so he can try to translate them and I watch him go happy puppy mode again hehe."

Many came through. One suggests this line from poet Alphonse de Lamartine—meaning, "without just one person, the world feels empty."


"Tu m'as manqué dans mes rêves"

Translation: I missed you in my dreams.

I learned this one in high school French class, and what I loved is our teacher taught us we could say it to anyone — romantic partners, puppies, and friends. (Probably best not to say it to our French teachers, however.)


"Je vous aime éperdument et je vous le dis et je vous le répète, mes mots l'expriment, mes baisers le prouvent, et quand j'ai fini… je recommence."

Translation: "I love you madly and I tell you so and I repeat it, my words express it, my kisses prove it, and when I'm done… I start over."

While this is a rather long one to memorize, it would be an excellent quote for a love letter. Victor Hugo's phrasing was so uniquely and devastatingly romantic, I had to quote him twice. Again, he wrote this in Lettre à Léonie Biard to his lover Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet.

"Tu me manques."

Translation: You miss me. (Or more precisely, you are missing from me.)

Again, I remember this expression from school. And the French-to-English translation can be a bit confusing and controversial.

There's an entire Reddit thread dedicated to this one sentence. The OP states, "So this phrase has always blown my mind. I understand that this expression means 'I miss you,' but that it literally translates to what is essentially 'You lack me.' Correct? If so, my first question is, why is this expression set up this way?"

Others explain the exact translation is more "You are missing from me" than "You miss me." One Redditor sums it up nicely: "The 'me' is an indirect object. Manquer is better understood here as 'to be missing' or 'lacking.' So it is more like 'you are missing/lacking/absent to me.' Your confusion is from approaching a French phrase using an English mindset."

In whatever mindset one might find themselves, these French phrases and quotes are sure to elevate the romance. At least, worth a shot!