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Parenting

A soon-to-be dad asked for the best parts of having kids. Parents delivered with heartwarming joy.

He was tired of only hearing about how his life would soon be over and how he'd never sleep again.

Dad holding laughing baby

Baby giggles are one of the best things about parenthood.

The dizzying preparation stage of soon-to-be-parenthood can be a little daunting. Everyone and their grandma—literally—bombards you with congratulations, advice and doomsday-like predictions about how your life is about to change.

People try to prepare you for parenthood by sharing horror stories or warning you about how hard it's going to be with the best of intentions. Parenting can be tough, and going into it with overly rose-colored glasses can lead to some painful reality checks. But too many jokes about never sleeping again or anecdotes about toddler tantrums can also dampen what should be a joyful time of anticipation and excitement and make parenting sound like a total drag, which it's not.

That's why soon-to-be-dad Harris Fanaroff took to Twitter to ask parents what they really love about raising kids.

"I’m tired of hearing the…'You’ll never sleep again' 'Your travel life is over' 'Say goodbye to your weekends,'" Fanaroff wrote. "My first baby is joining us in the next 3 weeks and I’m excited, nervous, anxious, and grateful. I’d love to hear your favorite parts of having a newborn/baby/kids."


Fanaroff tells Upworthy he thought he might get a couple of responses to his request. He never expected he would get a deluge of parents delivering the goods in the most heartwarming way.

"Babies are magic," shared Mary Katharine Ham. "Just had my 4th, and it will never cease to amaze me how much you can love hanging out w a person you just laid eyes on and who also cannot talk. Nothing better than a baby snoozing on your chest. You have many moments of wonder & sleepy smiles ahead of you!"

"Waking them up in the morning," wrote Teddy Mitrosilis. "Our 6 month old has the biggest smile every morning when we get her up, as if she’s genuinely astonished she gets another day. Enjoy every time you get to do that!"

"Our baby girl hit 11 months today," wrote Vincenzo Landino. "It's amazing. Seeing her face in awe every time she experiences something new. Seeing how she picks up on little quirks from me and my wife already. It's all so awesome. Just enjoy the ride. Do what works for you."

"Babies unlock a whole new and different part of life filled with those things, sure, but also of love, joy, happiness, meaning, and purpose," wrote Jason Schulweis. "You get a brand new perspective on life, and your heart grows. It’s the best thing in the world."

"You will be more proud than you have ever been, and your heart will be heavy with burden (because of the crazy world) but full of hope because your child will know your love. don't let anyone tell you otherwise," shared Kahlil Ashanti. "I have three boys and they are my joy."

Robbie Britt sang the praises of "the hand hold."

"It’ll start with them grabbing a finger, and then one day you’ll be walking and you feel them reach up and grab your hand," he wrote. "That’s when the heart melts!"

Jason Cohen agreed with the other answers and added, "Bottom line is the good stuff outweighs the negatives 100:1. Holding that little life, watching them figure out the entire world, the giggles and little hands on your face, seeing you in them, for good or Ill they’ll have to figure out themselves."

So many parents chimed in with the things that make parenthood magical, wonder-filled and joyful.

"I've read probably about 200 of them to my wife," Fanaroff says. "I've also had 100+ people message me directly to tell me how much they and their partner have enjoyed reading them and it's been so refreshing for them to see."

After receiving over 3,000 positive comments about having kids, Fanaroff says he's most looking forward to watching his wife become a mom, hearing their baby's first laugh and seeing their baby's first smile. "And one that I never thought of until all these comments but apparently that new baby smell!" he adds.

Can confirm. Babies smell like heaven.

Fanaroff says the response to his tweet has been "amazing," and it's true. Not only is it an uplifting, positive boost for folks who are looking forward to welcoming a child to their family, but it's also a good reminder for all parents of the beauty and joy that make the hard parts 100% worthwhile.

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Sixty-one years ago, Yuri Gagarin became the first human to make it into space and probably the first to experience what scientists now call the "overview effect." This change occurs when people see the world from far above and notice that it’s a place where “borders are invisible, where racial, religious and economic strife are nowhere to be seen.”

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Pop Culture

Special ring that tells people you're single created for folks tired of dating apps

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Brianna is a mother of two who lives in Iowa.

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Family

New study shows spanking hurts kids' mental health and is less effective at teaching lessons

Why is it wrong to hit an adult or an animal but OK to spank a child?

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

Yet another study shows that spanking isn't good for kids.

Whether to spank your child or not is one of the oldest debates among parents. Many live by the age-old wisdom that to “spare the rod” is to “spoil the child,” while others believe it’s wrong to resort to violence to punish a child when so many alternatives exist.

It also begs the question: If it's wrong to hit your spouse or pet, why is it acceptable to hit a defenseless child?

The 2021 American Family Study found that support for spanking has declined in the U.S. over the past few years. In 2015, 54% either somewhat or strongly agreed with the practice, but that number dropped to 47% in 2021. Thirty-five percent of respondents disagree with the practice and 18% neither agree nor disagree.

A new research study from the Parent and Family Research Alliance in Australia led by Professor Sophie Havighurst and Professor Daryl Higgins from Australian Catholic University makes a strong case that people should stop using corporal punishment to discipline their kids. The study “Corporal punishment of children in Australia: The evidence-based case for legislative reform” analyzed countless studies on the topic and found spanking ineffective and harmful.

The study was published to urge lawmakers to make corporal punishment in Australia illegal. Sixty-five states across the world have made corporal punishment illegal, protecting 14% of the world’s children.

The study defined corporal punishment of children as using physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to correct or control a child’s behavior.

The most startling meta-analysis published in the study found that "only 1 out of 111 statistically significant effect sizes was associated with a link between 'spanking' and a positive child outcome," while 110 were found to be associated with adverse outcomes.

The one positive outcome was in a 1972 study of children of the U.S. military living in West Germany that found those spanked showed less amphetamine and opiate use as adults.

However, the remaining 110 significant results found that spanking had adverse effects, including: “reducing trust and connection with those they are closest to, lower self-esteem, more internalizing and externalizing behavior problems including aggression, mental health difficulties, and increased risk for later substance abuse, antisocial behavior, and violence.”

A meta-analysis found that when children are spanked, they are less likely to internalize the moral implications of the behaviors that led them to be disciplined. It also found that non-physical discipline was more effective at teaching “alternative behaviors,” “developing a child’s conscience,” and advancing their “emotional development.”

Another meta-analysis cited in the story found that corporal punishment in childhood was associated with mental health problems, low self-esteem and antisocial behavior.

In the end, the studies show that corporal punishment is counter-productive when it comes to raising healthy, happy children. But it will take much more than a study to get people to reconsider their views of corporal punishment because they are deeply rooted in many cultural traditions.

Looking for some non-physical alternatives to discipline your child? Here’s a great place to start from WebMD.

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That “object” was a 3-year-old boy.

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