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2023 Mother's Day gift guide helps you celebrate moms in style

If you’re looking for the perfect Mother's Day gifts for the incredible moms in your life, we've got you covered.

2023 Mother's Day gift guide helps you celebrate moms in style

Editor's Note: Upworthy earns a percentage of revenue from items purchased on this list.


Mother's Day is just around the corner, and it's time to get shopping. And if you’re looking for the perfect Mother's Day gifts for the incredible moms in your life, we've got you covered! Our curated selection of thoughtful and unique presents will make any mom feel special and loved. From cozy pajama sets and smart mugs to personalized pet jewelry and heartfelt books, these gifts cater to a variety of interests and preferences. Our handpicked choices are the perfect way to express your gratitude and love.

RENPHO Eye Massager

Treat your mom to the ultimate relaxation experience with the RENPHO Eye Massager. This cutting-edge device uses built-in heating pads to provide a soothing temperature between 104 and 107 degrees Fahrenheit, helping to relax the skin around the eyes. Its oscillating pressure and rhythmic percussion massaging further enhance the calming effect, making it perfect for unwinding before bedtime or after a long day at work. The 180° adjustable and portable design ensures a comfortable fit for all users and makes it easy to take on the go. To create an even more immersive experience, the eye massager features Bluetooth customizable music, allowing users to play their own playlists.

$52 on Amazon

La Chatelaine Hand Cream Trio Tin Gift Set

Pamper your mom this Mother's Day with the luxurious La Chatelaine Hand Cream Trio Tin Gift Set, a favorite of customers around the world, including Oprah. This beautifully designed set features three one fl. oz. tubes of hand cream formulated with 20% organic Shea Butter, Vitamin E, and Argan Oil for deep moisturizing, nourishment, and protection. Made with plant-based ingredients, La Chatelaine's cruelty-free hand creams are free from phthalates, SLS, parabens, GMOs, and BHT, making them an excellent choice for daily use.

$29 on Amazon

Mother's Day Candles

Show your mom how much you care with this beautiful "I Love You Mom" candle. It’s the perfect gift for Mother's Day or any special occasion. Scented with calming lavender and sage, this 9oz candle creates a soothing atmosphere that any mom will adore. Featuring a crackling wooden wick, the candle offers a unique touch and fills the room with a comforting ambiance. Handmade with 100% soy wax, this stylish candle is free from harmful chemicals and additives, making it an ideal gift for environmentally conscious moms. Made in the USA, each candle is hand-poured in small batches to ensure quality and perfection.

$15 on Amazon

Ray-Ban Women's Rb1971 Square Sunglasses

Elevate your mom's style with these iconic Ray-Ban RB1971 Square Classic sunglasses. Crafted from high-quality metal, these sunglasses are both stylish but durable. Designed with 100% UV protection, the lenses will shield your mom's eyes from harmful rays while offering a clear and comfortable view. The scratch-resistant glass lenses are prescription-ready, making them a practical and fashionable choice.

$146 on Amazon

NewMe Fitness Yoga Mat

Featuring 70 printed yoga poses, this non-slip exercise mat offers guidance for beginners and seasoned practitioners alike. Made from durable, BPA-free, and phthalate-free PVC padding, the mat is moisture-wicking, making it ideal for hot yoga or sweaty workouts. The NewMe Fitness Yoga Mat is 5mm thick and 68 inches long and provides ample space for stretching, posing, and working out, ensuring comfort and stability during practice. Suitable for yogis of all levels, this mat makes a thoughtful and practical gift for moms looking to improve their practice and overall well-being.

$49 on Amazon

Cloud Massage Shiatsu Foot Massager Machine

Give mom the gift of relaxation and rejuvenation with the Cloud Massage Shiatsu Foot Massager Machine. Designed to increase blood flow circulation and provide deep kneading, this versatile machine offers heat therapy for deep tissue relief, making it perfect for those suffering from plantar fasciitis, diabetics, or neuropathy. The adjustable base allows users to comfortably target their feet, ankles, or calves, ensuring a customized massage experience. With three intensity levels and five massage modes, including rolling massage, compression therapy, sway function, and heat therapy, this foot massager caters to individual preferences and needs.

$251 on Amazon

SZELAM Digital Alarm Clock, LED

Upgrade your mom's bedside table with the multifunctional SZELAM Digital Alarm Clock, featuring a makeup mirror, alarm clock, and time display. The high-definition mirror display allows for convenient makeup application while keeping an eye on the time. Designed with a mirror surface that resists staining, it's easy to clean and maintain. The clock can be positioned upright, flat, or hung on the wall to suit any preference. Boasting a quiet design that won't disturb sleep, it also features a luminous function for easy nighttime viewing without turning on the lights. And for heavy sleepers, the snooze button provides an additional 5-60 minutes of rest, customizable to individual needs.

$25 on Amazon

Eberjey Women's Gisele Long PJ Set

Indulge in the luxurious comfort of the Eberjey Women's Gisele Long PJ Set, designed with sublimely soft stretch jersey fabric that feels divine against your skin. Available in solid hues, this phenomenal sleepwear set offers both style and relaxation for a restful night's sleep. The long-sleeve top features a rounded notched collar, chest patch pocket, button front closure, and front button placket, all adorned with beautiful contrast piping for a touch of sophistication. The pajama pants have a lower rise and relaxed leg, ensuring comfort, while the covered elastic waistband and cute contrast bow at the center waist add a charming detail. Made from a blend of 95% modal and 5% spandex, this high-quality set is airy, cozy, water-absorbent, and durable, providing easy and unrestricted mobility throughout the night.

$138 on Amazon

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug 2

This innovative mug makes an ideal gift for mom, ensuring every sip of her favorite drink is enjoyed at the perfect temperature. The Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug 2 is a 10 oz, rose gold coffee mug that maintains your drink's temperature between 120°F - 145°F for up to 80 minutes on a full charge or all day when placed on its redesigned charging coaster. Enjoy the convenience of app-controlled customization, or simply use the mug without the app, as it remembers your last-used temperature (135°F out of the box). The smart mug's auto sleep feature intelligently senses when to turn on and off, activating sleep mode when empty or after 2 hours of inactivity, and waking up upon sensing movement or liquid.

$143 on Amazon

ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase for Hair and Skin Health

This year, let mom indulge in the luxury of the ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase, designed for optimal hair and skin health. Crafted from the highest grade 6A organic silk, this pillowcase boasts a 600 thread count and features both sides constructed from 19 momme Grade 6A mulberry silk. Unlike satin and other petroleum-based imitations, this eco-friendly, hypoallergenic silk pillowcase is gentle on your skin and hair, minimizing morning lines, wrinkles, acne, and hair breakage. With its amino acids, it effectively stimulates your skin cells' metabolism, ensuring a nourishing and rejuvenating sleep experience.

$30 on Amazon

Beats Fit Pro x Kim Kardashian – True Wireless Noise Cancelling Earbuds

Upgrade you mom’s listening experience with Kim Kardashian's Beats Fit Pro collection, featuring true wireless noise cancelling earbuds in three neutral shades that complement any outfit or activity. These earbuds offer a flexible wingtip design for all-day comfort and stability, along with a custom acoustic platform that delivers powerful, balanced sound. Immerse yourself in music, movies, and games with Spatial Audio and dynamic head tracking, and enjoy Active Noise Cancelling, Transparency Mode, and Adaptive EQ for personalized listening. Powered by the Apple H1 chip, these earbuds support Automatic Switching, Audio Sharing, and "Hey Siri" functionality.

$164 on Amazon

HP Sprocket Portable 2x3" Instant Photo Printer

Capture and print cherished memories instantly with the HP Sprocket Portable 2x3" Instant Photo Printer in Blush. Designed for iOS 10+ and Android 5+ devices, this compact, wireless printer connects via Bluetooth 5.0, allowing you to print 2"x3" photos directly from your smartphone or social media accounts. Utilizing ZINK Zero Ink technology, the Sprocket eliminates the need for costly toner or ribbon replacements. At the same time, the glossy sticky-backed photo paper boasts incredible resistance to water, smudges, and tears. You can also personalize your photos with the free HP app's editing tools.

$80 on Amazon

Bronzing Self Tanning Drops

Put your mom’s skincare routine into overdrive with + Lux Unfiltered N°12 Bronzing Self Tanning Drops. They’re designed to provide a natural, customizable, and glowing tan all year round. Infused with hyaluronic acid, pomegranate extract, coconut water, passion fruit oil, and vitamin E, these fragrance-free tanning drops not only bronze your complexion but also keep it hydrated and radiant. Suitable for all skin types and packed with antioxidants, the vegan, cruelty-free, and gluten-free formula is free from harsh ingredients like parabens, paraffins, phthalates, sulfates, and silicones. To use, simply add the desired number of drops to your moisturizer, mix, and apply to clean skin for a tan that's as subtle or deep as you like.

$44 on Amazon

‘Knock Knock’ What I Love About Mom Fill in the Love Book

Celebrate your mom with the Knock Knock What I Love about Mom Fill in the Love BookKnock Knock What I Love about Mom Fill in the Love Book, a charming and unique 4.5 x 3.25-inch fill-in-the-blank gift journal designed to express your appreciation. Complete each line in the book to create a personal and heartfelt gift your mother will treasure and revisit time and time again. Whether you choose to make it hilarious, honest, or emotional, this journal serves as a memorable Mother's Day gift from kids of all ages.

$10 on Amazon

Custom Pet Jewelry

Showcase your mom’s love for her furry friends with personalized custom pet jewelry. This unique 0.7-inch diameter pet photo disc, featuring a sketchy-style portrait of your pet's face and their name underneath, is accompanied by a 17.5-inch chain. As a long-lasting, tarnish-resistant piece, it's perfect for everyday wear and keeps your beloved pet close to your heart. Ideal as a heartfelt gift for Mother's Day, the necklace comes in a cute box for easy storage or gifting.

$29 on Amazon

So why wait? Make this Mother's Day truly special for the incredible moms in your life. Give the gift of joy and make lasting memories with these unique, thoughtful Mother's Day gifts.

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ReSurge International
ReSurge International
Health

She was 15 when men threw acid in her face. They told her she’d be ashamed forever.

ReSurge International helped Muskan Khatun reconstruct her body, and now she’s using her voice to advocate for burn and gender-based violence survivors.

ReSurge International

Muskan Khatun was only 15 when she survived an acid attack in Nepal.

True

When Muskan Khatun was 15 years old, a group of young men started teasing her on her way to school in Nepal. She found it disturbing and uncomfortable, but they wouldn’t stop.

“I finally told my family,” Muskan says. “My dad confronted them, scolded them, and even slapped one of them. After that, they stopped bothering me for about three months.

“Then, one day, when I was heading to school, I saw them again. This time, they had a jug of acid. They tried to make me drink it, but I refused. In anger, they threw the acid on my face, hands, and chest.”

The attackers were arrested, and good samaritans nearby got Muskan to Kirtipur Hospital, where she was treated by local ReSurge surgeon and Country Director, Dr. Shankar Man Rai and his team. Resurge International is a non-profit organization that provides free reconstructive surgical care and trains surgical teams in low-income countries around the world to increase access to care for people who need it, like Muskan. ReSurge’s team in Nepal has treated 141 intentional burn attacks like Muskan’s over the last seven years.

ReSurge helped Muskan take her life back. But that was only the beginning of her story.

ReSurge International

One teen’s perseverance created historic change in the law.

“As I learned more about the laws in my country, I realized the justice system didn’t provide enough protection or punishment for such crimes,” Muskan says.” It felt like a bigger hurt than the acid attack itself. That’s when I decided to raise my voice and work towards changing the laws to ensure justice for others like me.”

Muskan wrote to the Prime Minister just days after her attack, but got no response. So she took her voice to the public. For two years, she courageously shared her story and advocated for better laws.

Finally, the Prime Minister invited her to his residence. He listened to her experiences and legal ideas, and in just 15 days, he passed a law specifically targeting acid attacks. The law also passed in Nepal’s parliament in record time.

“This was the first time in Nepal that a law was passed so swiftly,” Muskan says. “The new law was very strict, including a life sentence for offenders, marking the most severe punishment in Nepal for such crimes.” In 2021 Muskan was awarded the prestigious International Women of Courage (IWOC) Award by the U.S. Secretary of State for her work to end acid attacks.

Muskan Khutan's awardsMuskan has won multiple awards for her advocacy work.Resurge International

Muskan is not alone. Acid attack survivors around the world have raised their voices to get laws changed—but that’s not the only battle they’re fighting.

Constructing laws is one thing. Reconstructing your burned body is another.

Chemical burns leave survivors with painful scar contractures that restrict movement over the affected areas, forcing them to also relive their trauma every time they look in the mirror or field questions from people about what happened to them. However, burn scars require specialized surgical care, which often isn’t readily available or affordable in most low-income countries.

That’s where ReSurge International comes in.

With a conservative estimate of 10,000 acid attacks each year (many countries don’t keep official records of acid attacks and an estimated 40% of attacks go unreported, according to Acid Survivors Trust International), the surgical needs just for intentional burn victims is significant. Additionally, with 80% of acid attack survivors being women, the gender-based violence aspect of the issue cannot be ignored.

But there’s a gap in surgery accessibility between people in high-income nations, where plastic surgery is often viewed as elective and cosmetic, and those in low-income countries, where it more often addresses critical medical needs.

One way ReSurge is closing that gap is by training the next generation of reconstructive surgeons across Africa, Asia and Latin America, in countries where acid attacks are high. Rather than only sending in surgeons from the outside, ReSurge trains and funds local surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and occupational therapists, focusing on capacity building and prioritizing locally-led solutions with an extra emphasis on training women to close the gender gap in medicine and surgery. Just last year, ReSurge transformed the lives of over 25,000 patients and trained more than 5,000 medical professionals, with 85% of their surgeries being conducted by local partners.

Raising awareness is another way ReSurge is working to ‘close the gap.’

Seeing a potential for a powerful partnership, Resurge orchestrated the first face-to-face meeting between Muskan and fellow acid attack survivor and Woman of Courage Award Winner, Natalia Ponce de León from Colombia, in June of 2024. Like Muskan, Natalia has worked tirelessly to advocate for survivors’ rights and successfully inspired change to her country’s laws. She currently runs a foundation to ensure survivors of chemical attacks get the medical, psychological and legal care they need and deserve. Through the power of mentorship and mutual support, these two remarkable women will be able to increase their reach and amplify the impact of the incredible work they’re already doing.

Muskan Khutan and Natalia Ponce de Le\u00f3nMuskan and Natalia are working together to advocate for acid attack survivors.ReSurge International

Preventing more attacks like the ones that changed Muskan and Natalia’s lives requires a multi-faceted approach, as does care for survivors who are living with the aftermath of such violence. Survivor advocates and organizations like ReSurge International working together to ensure that care is accessible for all is a reminder of what humans can do when we set our sights on solutions and keep striving to implement them in the most effective way possible.


Interested in helping? This giving season, ReSurge is matching every gift for twice the impact. To make a gift to support patients like Muskan, read their stories, and learn more about how ReSurge International is closing the gap to reconstructive surgery, visit resurge.org/closing-the-gap

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Joy

Doorbell camera catches a UPS driver in a moment of contagious joy over a simple snack

Her adorable orangutan walk says it all.

@kenistoc/Reddit

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

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Joy

After losing $32,000 worth of pies in a truck heist, British restaurant owner kept his Christmas spirit

He gave the thieves a chance to do the right thing.

via Nestle Professional Press Release and Made in Olstead

Tommy Banks and one of his tasty pies.

On December 2, Tommy Banks, who runs Michelin-starred restaurant The Black Swan at Oldstead, had some distressing news to share with his Instagram followers: thieves had stolen his Tommy’s Pie Shop Van overnight. He was upset about losing the van, but the big problem was that it contained £25,000 ($32,000) worth of handmade pies. The pies were made for the York Christmas Market.

Banks was solen when he shared the news on social media, but he didn’t let it break his Christmas spirit. “Good morning, thought I’d fill everybody in on this morning’s dramas. We’ve been robbed,” Banks opens the video. “It’s kind of sad because it’s a lot of meat and a lot of flour and eggs and a lot of work,” he continued. “Like, so much work.”

Today.com reports that the van was stocked with various types of pies, including steak and ale, butternut squash and sage, turkey and cranberry, and Tommy’s famous root and vegetable pie. The thieves also made away with custard and 100 liters of gravy.

At the end of the video, Banks gives the thieves an opportunity to make things right because they couldn’t do much with a ton of pies that all had his name on them. “I know you’re a criminal, but maybe just do something nice, ‘cause it’s Christmas. And maybe we can feed a few thousand people with these pies that you stolen. Do the right thing,” Banks said.



Banks reiterated his plea that the thieves do the right thing and donate the food in an interview with BBC Radio York. “It's horrible being robbed and losing a van is annoying, but it's insured," he told the BBC. "But the thing that I find really galling is that there's just so much waste. All that food and I'm worried that these guys who've taken it, we've not heard anything from the police yet, will dump them somewhere. ... And if we find it today, we could actually feed some people with it. And I think there's a lot of people who would appreciate that."



After Banks' story hit the news, countless people reached out to help him replenish his stock by offering to donate ingredients and a local catering company even offered to let him borrow their refrigerated van.



After hearing the story on the news, 11-year-old Joshie Harris, a nonverbal autistic boy, was so moved by the story he started making his pies to help Banks’ company. "At the end [of the news report], he said, 'I see sad man, pies finished,' and it blew my mind that he had that kind of comprehension,” his father, Dan Harris, told BBC York.

“Joshie doesn't speak, but cooking and baking are his ways of showing creativity," Harris continued. “He wanted to show, especially at Christmas, that these kinds of things shouldn't be happening.“ Joshie is baking dozens of pies for Banks, including some of the varieties he lost in the theft and his favorite, apple.

On December 3, Banks learned that his van was found and the food inside had expired. “Unfortunately, that was not the news I was hoping to share. The van was found with fake plates on it by the police, but it is badly damaged and will almost certainly be written off. The Pies are on the van but have been damaged and not refrigerated, so are also written off, unfortunately,” he shared on Instagram. “Not the ending to this story I was hoping for. Just want to say a huge thank you to all the well-wishers and businesses who have offered to help us @tommyspieshop and a massive thank you to all the team who are working so hard to restock. ... Wishing everyone a safe and happy festive period."



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Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.



This article originally appeared in August.

Mental Health

How a professor with schizophrenia has thrived despite spending hundreds of days hospitalized

"I often have the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands of people with my thoughts."

Photo credit: Canva

How professor with schizophrenia thrives despite many hospitalizations

Oftentimes when people think of psychotic disorders like schizophrenia there's an level of fear that comes along with it. Media has conditioned people to be afraid of those with psychotic disorders. They're almost always portrayed as out of control, dangerous and physically dirty.

Memorable encounters with psychotic people outside of television and movies usually involve seeing an unhoused person deep in conversation with something only they can see. These are not situations that make for positive frames of reference for psychosis or what a well managed psychotic disorder can look like. There's also an immense amount of stigma behind the word "psychotic." When people hear that word they automatically associate it with someone who is "crazy," not an actual mental health disorder that can be managed with medication.

Elyn Saks is a law professor at University of Southern California and legal scholar has lived with schizophrenia for several decades, racking up hundreds of days in hospitals due to her psychosis, yet no one would be the wiser if they passed her at a grocery store. Saks doesn't fit the stereotype of the media portrayal of a psychotic person but she is in deed psychotic.

woman lying on bed Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

"Psycho" or "psychotic" is referenced in songs, television shows and even titles of movies like "American Psycho," portraying it as people with extremely unpredictable, dangerous behaviors. The two words are typically used interchangeably though they're not actually the same thing. Pyscho is short for psychopathy, which is a characteristic of Antisocial Personality Disorder, while psychotic encompasses visual and auditory hallucinations along with paranoia and more.

Saks is no stranger to they symptoms of psychosis, "when I'm psychotic I often have the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands of people with my thoughts. I sometimes have the idea that nuclear explosions are about to be set off in my brain. Occasionally I have hallucinations, like one time I turned around and saw a man with a raised knife. Imagine having a nightmare when you're awake."

In her 2012 TedTalk, she explains that everyone's psychotic experiences are different before explaining some key characteristics. Due to the severity of her schizophrenia, Saks' mental health team did not think she would be a fully successful member of society. The team of doctors on one of her many psychiatric hospital stays explain that her condition has a poor prognosis.

"As a young woman I was in a psychiatric hospital on three different occasions for lengthy periods. My doctors diagnosed me with chronic schizophrenia and gave me a prognosis of "grave." That is at best I was expected to live in a board and care and work at menial jobs. Fortunately I did not actually enact that grave prognosis, instead I'm a chaired professor of law, psychology and psychiatry at the USC Gould Center of Law, I have many close friends, and I have a beloved husband Will," Saks shares.


Saks describes her experiences in psychiatric hospitals in America that can only be summed up as traumatic. She shares the violence used against her when she was involuntarily committed saying, "once there, someone I'll just call the doctor, and his whole team of goons swooped down, lifted me high into the air and slammed me down on a metal bed with such force that I saw stars. Then they strapped my legs and arms to the metal bed with thick leather straps."

The involuntary commitment that she experienced was not due to her being a danger to herself or others. She was simply speaking in gibberish, this was her third hospitalization but her first in the American healthcare system. The mistreatment, stripping of autonomy and use of medical restraints are not uncommon for people with psychotic disorders. But for those who have an extensive support system and a higher education like Saks, the outcomes of a serious mental health diagnosis can be vastly different.

Reducing the stigma around psychotic disorders can also play a large role in more positive outcomes for people. Between brave people like Saks stepping up to tell their stories and organizations like Hearing Voices Network, an impact can be made towards further destigmatization. The Hearing Voices Network is an international nonprofit that not only trains people to facilitate groups for people living with psychosis but they also provide free resources and support for people that experience it.

Being around psychotic people doesn't have to be scary. You're likely around them every day, in the office, at school or at your kid's soccer practice. You're just not aware because they don't look like the people we have been conditioned to fear. Medication and therapy can go a long way and Saks is proof of how successful those with severe mental illnesses.

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Health

In a world with too much stuff, we need to rethink the idea of 'sentimental value'

Things aren't memories.

Photo credit: Canva

Most of us have way too much stuff to be holding on things purely for sentimental reasons.

My friend's grandmother was in her 90s when she died, leaving behind a beautiful extended family, a lovely life legacy and boxes upon boxes of things nobody wanted or had any use for. Grams loved to travel and had souvenirs from various places. She kept decades of greeting cards and knicknacks she'd collected. As family members went through her belongings, they kept a few things here and there—a piece of jewelry, a recipe box, a silver serving spoon.

Most of her furniture, clothing and other useful things were sold or given away, but most of her personal items—old albums, mementos, etc.—ended up being thrown away. It was a good lesson for all of us.

The things we keep for "sentimental value" often have the least value to anyone else.

No one, family or stranger alike, wants hundreds of photos of people they don't know and memories that aren't theirs. No one wants a keepsake figurine from a trip they didn't go on with a date that means nothing to them. The things that hold sentimental value for one person are meaningless to everyone else, and the more our lives become saturated with "stuff," the more we are in danger of holding onto too many things because of the memories or meaning we attach to them.

We see it when we try to declutter our homes and have a hard time because of the "sentimental value" of certain things. Parents hesitate when it's time to purge the baby stuff, as all those adorable items remind us of when our kids were little. It happens when we hold onto the hat we bought at Disneyland even though we never ever wear it because it reminds us of our awesome family vacation. The china we inherited that we never eat off of, the plaque we got for outstanding achievement, the favorite book that's falling apart—all of that stuff we keep because "It's a memory!" accumulates.

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The problem is that eventually other people have to deal with our stuff.

If people want to collect mementos and keepsakes and hold onto everything anyone ever gives them, that's their right, of course. Some people are more sentimental and nostalgic than others and some people place more meaning on things than others. We can philosophize all day about whether and to what degree people should be detached from material things, but the reality is that every person has their own relationship to stuff that they have to navigate emotionally.

What is universal, though, is that someone will have to deal with our stuff when we die, and the more stuff we have, the more work we end up placing on their shoulders. Going through someone's belongings takes time and prompts a million decisions, which quickly becomes overwhelming. It's even harder when a lot of those belongings clearly meant something to them but mean nothing to anyone else.

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It didn't used to be like this, at least not to this level. Average people didn't used to have so many belongings they had to pay for spaces to store it all. We are inundated with stuff, and the more things we attach sentimental value to the more in danger we are of leaving way too much for our loved ones to sort through.

Things aren't memories. They are only memory triggers.

Our memories live in our minds, not in material things. All sentimental items do is trigger our memories, but we don't need physical items to keep our memories alive. So the question is, how do we keep the triggers without keeping all the things?

Photos are some of the best memory triggers, and in the digital age, it's easier than ever to utilize them. If there is an item you're having a hard time parting with for sentimental reasons, take a photo of it and keep it in a "Mementos" folder. A photo of something isn't exactly the same as the real thing, but it can fulfill the same purpose. Sentimental value is all about memories, and seeing the thing in a photo will still trigger those.

I'm not suggesting people never hold onto anything at all for sentimental reasons, but most things we keep as keepsakes don't really need to be kept. It's the memories we treasure, not the items that trigger the memories, so unless a thing has some actual tangible value or some sort of genuine sensory element that would be lost in a photo, take a snapshot and let go of the thing itself.

The more we can disconnect our memories from our physical things—or at least find ways to document those sentimental value items that trigger memories instead of holding onto them—the less overwhelming our living spaces will be for us in the now and the less burden we'll leave for others in the future.

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